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coldturkmama Recovered after Paxil cold turkey

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coldturkmama

Hi :) 

i just thought I’d pop in and give an update about how things are now.

 

i was talking with a friend the other day about what all id gone through with Paxil and I realized, I’m so far from where I was and how much I’d relied on this site as well as npanth’s articles during the very worst of everything.

i remember reading success stories and wondering if the mental anguish would ever end for me. 

 

I can say, it has and it does.

Here is my topic:

 

 

So, basically I was on Paxil for about 14-15 years. I’m 40 now and have been off Paxil for 6 years.

While I was on the drug I still had many symptoms of anxiety, gained a ton of weight and also felt like I was living a sort of half life. I wasn’t fully engaged in my life. 

 

Every time I tried getting off Paxil over the years, I’d have terrible symptoms and think that it was just me and I needed Paxil to make me “normal”...!

 

My Dr never ever told me I should taper slowly and over time; I was literally given no advice EVER.

When I was about 13 years in to taking the drug I was suddenly beset with a whole new host of symptoms and some quite strong and strange to me. I felt terrible on the inside of myself, something I couldn’t hardly explain.  I told my Dr. And he said that Paxil might be no longer working as well and so he upped me from 20mgs to 40 msg.

 

I felt a little better for a bit but still NOT good.

I decided to stop the drug cold turkey.

i had no idea of how dangerous that was or what would lie ahead. If I’d known, I would have tapered slowly.

 

At first I felt really really good, better than I had in a longgg time, but at about 6 weeks off the drug alllll hell broke loose.

 

I had all the usual symptoms, shaking, flu like symptoms , couldn’t sit still, no motivation, exhausted but major insomnia, heart racing and palpitations, so much pain In my legs, throbbing pain. A tight band around my head that felt like someone was tightening it. I had intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts, panic attacks, jolting awake from when I did sleep, bladder problems, and many more that I’m forgetting I’m sure.

Oh! Brain zaps! I had lots of those.

forgetfulness and not being able to put in to words what I wanted etc- that was also a thing. 😑 

 

i started googling why I felt like this after stopping Paxil and I found a site called Paxil progress. After that shut down I found this site.

at the time it was all I could do to lay in bed and read the stories of others and know that what I was going through would eventually get better. 

I couldn’t figure out how, or when. I prayed a lot.  I had three kids to take care of, so I managed to do what I had to do but often felt very irritated and exhausted, I didn’t know how much longer I could deal with it. 

Symptoms began breaking up in to a pattern that was called windows and waves. Sometimes a window would be super short and I’d wonder how I could feel so normal for a while only to have it all crash back down around me.

 

Sleep was such an escape when I could get it, but for 2-3 years I had terrible insomnia that lasted hours throughout the night. Those were very frustrating times.

 

I saw bigger improvements when I began sleeping better. 

Slowly the symptoms dropped off one by one.

leg pain was probably one of the first to go

 

i still didn’t know much about how to deal with anxiety and was still fighting that battle when I came across Dr. Claire Weekes book, “hope and help for your nerves”

That book was awesome and I highly recommend it and anything else you can read by her.

 

I still have occasional bladder flares (acts like a bladder infection but it isn’t actually) but other than that I don’t think I have one problem that I can say is from Paxil anymore (I don’t think??) lol

i think I am finally ready to say, I’m recovered from what Paxil put me through.

 

im still learning how best to cope with anxiety, but I’m doing a pretty good job of it with noooo drugs 😁😁😁

 

BTW when I was in the process of

trying to heal from it all, I used high quality fish oil and B12. I also used trace minerals. 

 

I wish you all well. 

Xo 😘 


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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wantrelief

What incredible strength it took to come through all of that, CTM!!  Thank you for sharing your inspirational story.  


-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium glycinate; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop)

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Erell

Thank you so much for this wonderful hope you give To all of us ❤❤❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Altostrata

Hello, coldturkmama. When would you say you fully recovered from going off Paxil?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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rola

hi 
Thank you for your story, you really give us hope. 
take care of yourself 
 


Deroxat (paxil) 20 mg pour 10 ml

12/14 18 mg réduction de 5% tous les mois 13/01/15 14.4mg 15/08 9,6 mg 16.01 reduction3% 8 mg par mois 16/02 7,8 mg 18.02 3 mg

18.03 2,92 à 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg

 18/06 2,66 mg

26/06/18 2,58 mg en 26 jours

19/03 1,78 mg 15 jours

19/04 1, 64 mg 21 jours

19/05 1,58 mg

24/07/19 1,44 mg

14/08/19 1,4 mg

27/09/19 1,48 mg

10/09/19 retour à 1,58 mg  27/12/19 retour à 1,65mg direct transition to fluoxetine the 11/01/2020 1,65mg

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coldturkmama
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Hello, coldturkmama. When would you say you fully recovered from going off Paxil?

 

I’d say the 5 year mark, or there abouts?

theres not much left of my symptoms that I blame on Paxil anymore. 

Do I have anxiety?

yup, but I am working the Claire Weekes system and feel so much better than I did. 

1 hour ago, rola said:

hi 
Thank you for your story, you really give us hope. 
take care of yourself 
 

💕


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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coldturkmama
2 hours ago, Erell said:

Thank you so much for this wonderful hope you give To all of us ❤❤❤

 

You are welcome! I survived off of success stories in my worst times.

4 hours ago, wantrelief said:

What incredible strength it took to come through all of that, CTM!!  Thank you for sharing your inspirational story.  

 

💕🥰


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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brassmonkey

Congratulations of finally posting a success story.  It's been a long time in coming and I am so happy that it is finally here. Cold Turkey is a rough way to go but you prove that it is possible to get through it and thrive.

 

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

 

Brass


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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coldturkmama
12 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Congratulations of finally posting a success story.  It's been a long time in coming and I am so happy that it is finally here. Cold Turkey is a rough way to go but you prove that it is possible to get through it and thrive.

 

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

 

Brass

 

:) thank you!

cold turkey gets NO recommendations from me! I hope many people will taper slowly but sadly there is just no support sometimes. 


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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direstraits

Hi mama,

so happy you 've recovered...….I 've had a very rough week but you give me hope I'll get there someday.

Congratulations!

xx


went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.

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delsol

This is so inspirational and just exactly what I needed to see today. Thank you so, so, so much for sharing your story. 

 

You say  it took about 5 years in total. But would you say you found hope periodically for longer and longer spurts, along the way? What I mean is:  The 5-year mark is very significant for you, but can you speak to some good, long windows that happened prior to that, and what that was like for you?  I am impressed that you did this. Paxil is a doozy to withdraw from, from what I've heard. I may check out the Claire Weekes system, based on your recommendation.

 

20 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

 

I’d say the 5 year mark, or there abouts?

theres not much left of my symptoms that I blame on Paxil anymore. 

Do I have anxiety?

yup, but I am working the Claire Weekes system and feel so much better than I did. 

💕

 


--Current supplements: Fish oil 1000 mg x4 (split into 2 doses of 1000 mg); Vit. D 2,000 iu once daily; 2-3 tsp coconut oil daily

--3/14/20: Re-discontinued gabapentin after 2 weeks, due to agitation

--2/27/20: Reinstated Kpin .5mg and also briefly reinstated gabapentin 300mg. 2x/daily, to help with side effects (Kpin dose usually taken in a.m. between 5-8 a.m.; gabapentin once in a.m. and once around 6 p.m.)

--2/13/20: Tried reducing Kpin down to .375mg due to dysphoric side effects; tried to CT but started hallucinating again after 4 days

--1/23/20: Placed on daily .5mg dose of Klonopin

--From July 2017-Jan. 2020: PRN Klonopin 1mg. :  up to 1x/day:  sometimes weeks without it, sometimes 1-2x/week, sometimes 4-5x/week; tried to CT in Jan. 2020 and ended up in hospital with delirium and hallucinations

--November 2019: Weaned down gabapentin approx. 100 mg. per week and discontinued it

--August 7, 2019-10/18/19: Reduced Trintellix from 10mg. down to zero (insurance stopped paying for it - I couldn't afford it).

--February 2019-11/30/19: Reduced nortriptyline from 75 mg. to zero

--As of February 2019:  Meds were 10 mg. (1x/day) Trintellix, 75 mg. (1x/day) nortriptyline, and 600 mg. gabapentin

--1992 through 2018: On various cocktails of meds, starting with anafranil

 

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Cocopuffz17

Woohooo! This is great to read! So happy you feel way better! I agree 100% with you on success stories getting me through the hard times! All the best to you! 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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coldturkmama
6 hours ago, delsol said:

This is so inspirational and just exactly what I needed to see today. Thank you so, so, so much for sharing your story. 

 

You say  it took about 5 years in total. But would you say you found hope periodically for longer and longer spurts, along the way? What I mean is:  The 5-year mark is very significant for you, but can you speak to some good, long windows that happened prior to that, and what that was like for you?  I am impressed that you did this. Paxil is a doozy to withdraw from, from what I've heard. I may check out the Claire Weekes system, based on your recommendation.

 

 

 

It IS a doozy!! 

Oh yes there were big windows that gave me a lot of hope! :) I knew eventually it would get better. Lots better!

claire Weekes helped so much with the anxiety symptoms. :)

 


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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Leo1983

Alot of ppl talk Claire Weekes in wd. Can i ask does this work when the anxiety is coming from wd? 

 

Just i know no matter what i do im anxious even sat still in a empty room. I was never like that before meds. The chemical anxiety people talk about.


May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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sunnysideup69
3 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Alot of ppl talk Claire Weekes in wd. Can i ask does this work when the anxiety is coming from wd? 

 

Just i know no matter what i do im anxious even sat still in a empty room. I was never like that before meds. The chemical anxiety people talk about.

Hope you don't mind me butting in, but I personally find her work helpful in WD, because her work is based on the idea of the 'sensitized nervous system.' This is exactly what we in WD have, and the techniques of face, accept, float and let time pass is highly useful. 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Leo1983

Thanks for that.

 

So basically you accept you feel crap and keep getting through the day? Also you feel crap no matter what but keep telling yourself to keep going.


May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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sunnysideup69
1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Thanks for that.

 

So basically you accept you feel crap and keep getting through the day? Also you feel crap no matter what but keep telling yourself to keep going.

Yes, you acknowledge the fact that you feel crap and accept it. Easy to say, I tend to try to slow down and note the sensations I am experiencing rather than getting wound up by the mental chatter. It's not so much 'telling yourself' to keep going, as that could create more tension. It's more like letting the sensations arise and fall away, noting them, carrying on. Takes practice. It's quite a meditative approach, usually I combine it with slow breathing with longer exhales. Calms the nervous system. 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Leo1983

Thanks for your imput.

 

You have quite a drug history and back on meds i see. 

 

You have a good approach to all this. A strong positive attitude. 

 

 


May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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sunnysideup69
1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Thanks for your imput.

 

You have quite a drug history and back on meds i see. 

 

You have a good approach to all this. A strong positive attitude. 

 

 

Thank you, yes, I've had quite a lot of 'drugged' life. Prescription and not. My poor nervous system..... However, this year is the beginning of a shift. 

Definitely Claire Weekes worth checking out. 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Leo1983

input even lol.

 

Thanks and good luck.


May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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Hellbutrin
On 12/19/2019 at 2:02 PM, coldturkmama said:

 

I’d say the 5 year mark, or there abouts?

theres not much left of my symptoms that I blame on Paxil anymore. 

Do I have anxiety?

yup, but I am working the Claire Weekes system and feel so much better than I did. 

💕

Hi Coldturkmama,

 

Thanks for sticking around to provide encouragement to this of us that are still in the thick of things. I'm glad to see that you recovered from your C/T! What were some things that helped soothe your sensitive nervous system when you were having bad days? I'm at 2.5 years since my C/T and I still struggle daily, but I have seen certain things improve, like insomnia. Did you experience short term memory issues and depression throughout your withdrawal?


  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 

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coldturkmama
On 12/22/2019 at 1:17 PM, Leo1983 said:

Thanks for that.

 

So basically you accept you feel crap and keep getting through the day? Also you feel crap no matter what but keep telling yourself to keep going.

 

 

Also (besides what they said, which was good advice) I also learned to sag or release the tension. Claire Weekes called it sagging or going rag doll in a chair (letting yourself sag so you are as limp as a doll) and allow that tension to goooo. So often we don’t even realize we are holding ourselves so tightly wound.


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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coldturkmama
On 12/22/2019 at 7:09 PM, Hellbutrin said:

Hi Coldturkmama,

 

Thanks for sticking around to provide encouragement to this of us that are still in the thick of things. I'm glad to see that you recovered from your C/T! What were some things that helped soothe your sensitive nervous system when you were having bad days? I'm at 2.5 years since my C/T and I still struggle daily, but I have seen certain things improve, like insomnia. Did you experience short term memory issues and depression throughout your withdrawal?

I definitely experienced memory issues, and down days but I’m not sure if I’d call it depression (at least not deep depression) because I did find myself losing interest in things that once brought me joy. 

I learned that releasing tension (see my other comment) reallllly helped to desensitize me as well as not following each thought I had (just allowing them to be there).

clairw Weekes had said “you may think whatever you may think, you may feel whatever you may feel but it doesn’t matter “

so basically, learning to be okay with whatever was happening and not trying to figure it all out. 


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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hussy

hi good to see you recoevered. did u have sexual issues. low libido?


mild depression: took effaxor XR 75mg From nov 2016 - feb 2017 for 4 months

PSSD : Since then along with continuing withdrawal.

cognition problems, headache , fatigue, concentration problems, anhedonia, PSSD ( erection 2/10, Libido1/10, orgasm 4/10) 

no significant improvements in any withdrawal symptoms or any PSSD symptoms

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coldturkmama
2 hours ago, hussy said:

hi good to see you recoevered. did u have sexual issues. low libido?

 

Ohhhh yes, very low libido but I have found that to have improved.


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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hussy

thanjks for answer. 

Did you also experience genital numbness? this is a major symptom for me actually. Genital numbness and extreme loss of libido and emotions


mild depression: took effaxor XR 75mg From nov 2016 - feb 2017 for 4 months

PSSD : Since then along with continuing withdrawal.

cognition problems, headache , fatigue, concentration problems, anhedonia, PSSD ( erection 2/10, Libido1/10, orgasm 4/10) 

no significant improvements in any withdrawal symptoms or any PSSD symptoms

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coldturkmama
1 hour ago, hussy said:

thanjks for answer. 

Did you also experience genital numbness? this is a major symptom for me actually. Genital numbness and extreme loss of libido and emotions

 

No numbness, thankfully, and I’m sorry you’re going through that but definitely loss of libido and very painful “fake” uti’s. 


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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monami

Congratulation for your recovery ,  i  live in  halifax too . I have not  used fish oil but am thinking about taking it 

 Can i ask What was the brand of fish oil  you are taking and how many times a day do you take it ,  thank you.

 

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Lina1001

Hi @coldturkmama! I am very happy for you, I'm french so my english is not so good, please forgive my lake of expression some times... I would like to know if you had experienced scary wake up. As when you're sleeping and waking up with fear and panic attacks ? That's what's happening to me now. Even if i must sleep, I wake up in the night each hours with fear, high level of anxiety, tachicardia and some times panic attack, and  if you did, did it heal  ? I'm passing through that experience since 1 month now, either i colded turkey 5 months ago.. thanks for your reply and fir the hope you're giving with your testimony. 


 
Lina, ecsitalopram 10mg+clorazepate 10mg. Taper all during april/may 19.
Cold turkyey symptomes so i reinstate: 15/06/19:5mg ecsitalo+10 mg Cloraze.
Then maniac attacs so had to taper again: 19/06:4mg ecsitalo+10 mg cloraze.26/06:3,75 mg sero+10mg clorazepate, 27/06 ecsitalo :3mg + 10 mg cloraze, 28/06: ecsitalo2mg+10mg cloraze, 29/06:ecsitalo 1,5mg+10mg cloraze, 30/06: ecsitalo1,75mg +10 mg cloraze;1/07: 1,O87mg ecsitalo+ 10mg cloraze, 2/07:1,087 ecsitalo+9 mg cloraze. 3/07:1,087mg ecsitalo +9 mg cloraze, 7/07:0,75mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze, 8/07:mistake :1mg ecsitalo+10 mg cloraze, 9/07:0,70mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze,10/07: 0,5mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze, cold turkey symptomes again.13/07: no more ecsitalopram+10mg cloraze., 25/07: 12,5mg clorazepate,30/07:15 mg clorazepate,3/08:12,5mg clorazepate.,5/09:clorazepate, 12,2mg,22/09: 11,6mg, 29/09:11mg, 08/10: 10,7 clorazepate 15/10: 10,4 clorazepate, 23/10:10mg clorazepate, 23/11:9,9mg clorazepate,
01/12 to 03/12: panic attacs non stop. 03/ 12 : clorazepate 30mg, tercian 50mg
04/12: clorazepate 30mg, tercian 25 mg. 06/12:26gtes valium, stop clorazepate, 9/12: stop valium, 15mg clorazepate

10/12: 35mg clorazepate

 16/12:  30 mg  clorazepate, 25 mg tercian

17/ 12: 30mg  clorazepate, 50 mg tercian

18-23/ : 15 mg clorazepate

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Lina1001
Just now, Lina1001 said:

Hi @coldturkmama! I am very happy for you, I'm french so my english is not so good, please forgive my lake of expression some times... I would like to know if you had experienced scary wake up. As when you're sleeping and waking up with fear and panic attacks ? That's what's happening to me now. Even if i must sleep, I wake up in the night each hours with fear, high level of anxiety, tachicardia and some times panic attack, and  if you did, did it heal  ? I'm passing through that experience since 1 month now, either i colded turkey 5 months ago.. thanks for your reply and fir the hope you're giving with your testimony. 

I am reading Claire weekes book thanks for sharing !


 
Lina, ecsitalopram 10mg+clorazepate 10mg. Taper all during april/may 19.
Cold turkyey symptomes so i reinstate: 15/06/19:5mg ecsitalo+10 mg Cloraze.
Then maniac attacs so had to taper again: 19/06:4mg ecsitalo+10 mg cloraze.26/06:3,75 mg sero+10mg clorazepate, 27/06 ecsitalo :3mg + 10 mg cloraze, 28/06: ecsitalo2mg+10mg cloraze, 29/06:ecsitalo 1,5mg+10mg cloraze, 30/06: ecsitalo1,75mg +10 mg cloraze;1/07: 1,O87mg ecsitalo+ 10mg cloraze, 2/07:1,087 ecsitalo+9 mg cloraze. 3/07:1,087mg ecsitalo +9 mg cloraze, 7/07:0,75mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze, 8/07:mistake :1mg ecsitalo+10 mg cloraze, 9/07:0,70mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze,10/07: 0,5mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze, cold turkey symptomes again.13/07: no more ecsitalopram+10mg cloraze., 25/07: 12,5mg clorazepate,30/07:15 mg clorazepate,3/08:12,5mg clorazepate.,5/09:clorazepate, 12,2mg,22/09: 11,6mg, 29/09:11mg, 08/10: 10,7 clorazepate 15/10: 10,4 clorazepate, 23/10:10mg clorazepate, 23/11:9,9mg clorazepate,
01/12 to 03/12: panic attacs non stop. 03/ 12 : clorazepate 30mg, tercian 50mg
04/12: clorazepate 30mg, tercian 25 mg. 06/12:26gtes valium, stop clorazepate, 9/12: stop valium, 15mg clorazepate

10/12: 35mg clorazepate

 16/12:  30 mg  clorazepate, 25 mg tercian

17/ 12: 30mg  clorazepate, 50 mg tercian

18-23/ : 15 mg clorazepate

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Madeleine
2 minutes ago, Lina1001 said:

Hi @coldturkmama! I am very happy for you, I'm french so my english is not so good, please forgive my lake of expression some times... I would like to know if you had experienced scary wake up. As when you're sleeping and waking up with fear and panic attacks ? That's what's happening to me now. Even if i must sleep, I wake up in the night each hours with fear, high level of anxiety, tachicardia and some times panic attack, and  if you did, did it heal  ? I'm passing through that experience since 1 month now, either i colded turkey 5 months ago.. thanks for your reply and fir the hope you're giving with your testimony. 

Hi:
I hope you don't mind that I replied -- as you directed your question to cold turkey mamma, but hopefully she will reply too and you will have two answers -- 🙂 

What you are experiencing is very common -- the best thing to do when you wake up, with a panic attack, is to simply, relax, meditate, and tell yourself it will pass and get better.  If you worry, your nervous system gets even more agitated, but if you meditate -- i.e. so just lie there, and listen to your breath and relax, it will pass.  If you need to, get up, read for a little while and then just lie down and meditate.   

Best wishes, 
M.


Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg
Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pw4tjImAJ92OIVyRvZoZYjqxiKMk7wvp-ljiIi1olRo/edit#gid=0

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Lina1001

@Madeleinethanks Madeleine


 
Lina, ecsitalopram 10mg+clorazepate 10mg. Taper all during april/may 19.
Cold turkyey symptomes so i reinstate: 15/06/19:5mg ecsitalo+10 mg Cloraze.
Then maniac attacs so had to taper again: 19/06:4mg ecsitalo+10 mg cloraze.26/06:3,75 mg sero+10mg clorazepate, 27/06 ecsitalo :3mg + 10 mg cloraze, 28/06: ecsitalo2mg+10mg cloraze, 29/06:ecsitalo 1,5mg+10mg cloraze, 30/06: ecsitalo1,75mg +10 mg cloraze;1/07: 1,O87mg ecsitalo+ 10mg cloraze, 2/07:1,087 ecsitalo+9 mg cloraze. 3/07:1,087mg ecsitalo +9 mg cloraze, 7/07:0,75mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze, 8/07:mistake :1mg ecsitalo+10 mg cloraze, 9/07:0,70mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze,10/07: 0,5mg ecsitalo+10mg cloraze, cold turkey symptomes again.13/07: no more ecsitalopram+10mg cloraze., 25/07: 12,5mg clorazepate,30/07:15 mg clorazepate,3/08:12,5mg clorazepate.,5/09:clorazepate, 12,2mg,22/09: 11,6mg, 29/09:11mg, 08/10: 10,7 clorazepate 15/10: 10,4 clorazepate, 23/10:10mg clorazepate, 23/11:9,9mg clorazepate,
01/12 to 03/12: panic attacs non stop. 03/ 12 : clorazepate 30mg, tercian 50mg
04/12: clorazepate 30mg, tercian 25 mg. 06/12:26gtes valium, stop clorazepate, 9/12: stop valium, 15mg clorazepate

10/12: 35mg clorazepate

 16/12:  30 mg  clorazepate, 25 mg tercian

17/ 12: 30mg  clorazepate, 50 mg tercian

18-23/ : 15 mg clorazepate

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coldturkmama
On 12/26/2019 at 1:17 PM, Lina1001 said:

I am reading Claire weekes book thanks for sharing !

 

Oh yes, I used to wake up with panic and heart racing etc it did eventually pass. 

Madeline is right; the more fear you add to it, the worse it will get. If you can relax towards the feelings and know they aren’t important, cannot hurt you and will pass you will feel better. 


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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coldturkmama
On 12/25/2019 at 8:12 PM, monami said:

Congratulation for your recovery ,  i  live in  halifax too . I have not  used fish oil but am thinking about taking it 

 Can i ask What was the brand of fish oil  you are taking and how many times a day do you take it ,  thank you.

 

 

Cool! I’m a few hours from there now but I go to visit often :)

 

i used the high quality liquid found at health food stores. I took one tbsp in the morning. It’s about $28 a bottle but worth it.  


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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Snorky
16 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

 

Cool! I’m a few hours from there now but I go to visit often :)

 

i used the high quality liquid found at health food stores. I took one tbsp in the morning. It’s about $28 a bottle but worth it.  

Hi C

 

Brassmonkey v kindly told me about your post and experience. I’m also CT status (as per my thread in intro section?) Gist is stopped amitriptyline 25mg Sept 19, but lots of other ADs over thirty years.

 

My main issues on mental side are depressive thoughts, anhedonia and anxiety (in that order)  However, on phthalates side I struggle with worsening head tremors and tics.  I was intrigued to read your comments re throbbing legs, and wondered if they were ditto mine? 24/7, knees to toes, both sides, combo of “pressure type sensations, numbness and pins and needles. Is that what you had/have?

 

Thank you


 

Cymbalta 2007

Lyrica 2010

Venlafaxine 2010-2018

Amitriptyline October 2018-2019. (25, 50, 75, 100, 75, 50, 25)

CT 10 Sept 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 5 mg 29 Oct 2019

Reinstate amitriptyline 2.5mg 19 Nov 2019

CT 24  Nov 2019

Vitamin D 16 Dec and Promethazine 25mg 16 Dec (one month only)

 

 

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Melissa5000

Thank you very much for sharing your story! I am in a wave right now and visited the recovery stories to cheer me up! 

It helps a lot! Thank you!!!!!!!! :)


2019 2.1 mg amitriptyline ,15th july 2.1 mg, 22-7 2.09 mg, 29-7 2.08 mg, 5-8 2.09 mg , 7-8 2.1 mg . 2020 Holding at 2.1 mg

2019 125 mg lyrica, 15th july 124,5 mg, 22-7 124 mg, 29-7 123,5 mg, 4-8 124 mg 2020 holding at 124 mg

2015 january building up my medication to 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline for face ache after a rootcanal treatment at the dentist. 2016 february start tapering lyrica from 450 mg to 200 mg 2016 october tapered 25 mg amitriptyline to 25 mg 2017 tapered lyrica from 200 mg to 100 mg 2017 september tapered my last tablet of 25 mg amitriptyline to zero  (horrible muscle pain started) 2018 february tapered lyrica from 100 mg to 75 mg (my muscle pain got worse and I have a lot of nervepain in my arms and legs, sometimes all over musclepain and nerve pain and burning pain) 2018 may reinstated 25 mg lyrica. My current dose is 100 mg lyrica. My pain is still very bad but a little less intense, my mood improved. 2018 since 22th may updose amitriptyline.  9 beads. 2018 june updosing lyrica. 2018 16 th june 125 mg lyrica and 9 beads amitriptyline ( 2mg) Now I'm doing a long hold. I can't taper anymore. Too much pain. I hope to stabilize and improve while holding. I'm trying graded activity to get rid of my pain. 2019 1 jan. Lyrica 125 mg (holding) 2019 1 jan. Amitriptyline tapering from 9 beads to 8 beads (1 jan. 2019),  8,5 beads (5 jan 19), 9 beads (16 jan 19) tapper attempt failed

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