Aveju: hi, tapering from Zoloft

[Aveju]

Yes, Dr. Britz does supervise tapering.  I agree with you that supplements alone are not able to get a person off of psych meds quickly.

[Aveju]

Just an update:  I'm doing alright.  I've noticed last month and this month that I'm having crying spells and depression the week before my menstrual cycle starts.  Darn hormones.  It seems extra intense and I'm assuming that withdrawal is tampering with my hormones.  

I'm down to 10.3 mg and other than the crazy roller coaster of emotions, I'm doing okay.  

I have been feeling weary of tapering. This is such a long and challenging process that I wish could just end now.  I know that I have to keep going to stop focusing on how much time is still left.

I start working again next week. I'll be working part time and I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep it together emotionally!

[Aveju]

Just an update. I’m at 9.8 mg and holding.  I’m on my 6th week holding after dealing with a couple of weeks of depression and self hatred. 
Also I’ve been feeling very strange this whole week.  I have no description for it.  Not depressed or anxious, but not happy either.  I feel uninterested and unmotivated, no passion or desire to do anything.  I can’t make sense of it and it’s rather uncomfortable.  I’m sleeping well, that’s been surprising.  I would expect to be doing better due to getting sleep!

I am trying to be grateful for not having anxiety or depression at the moment, but I miss feeling happy.

All I feel up to do doing is sitting in the sunshine or scrolling my phone.  Just passing the time.  I would sure like a window soon!

We have no holiday plans so I’ll just be sitting in the sun making small talk with my husband and kids.

[Cheeky]

Hey @Aveju,
I just read your whole thread. 
You seem to be going great with your taper, even though you think your not. 
I feel like you with the fact it's going to take do long 😒, I want off these drugs more then anything . It’s so hard being a parent and having to go through this , I worry that I may affect my children when they see me crying . 
Thank  God for this forum and the supporting communities. 
 

Cheeky

[Cheeky]

On 7/1/2023 at 12:47 PM, Aveju said:

All I feel up to do doing is sitting in the sunshine or scrolling my phone

If that’s all you can do then just do that . Sometimes we need to take extra care of ourselves. 

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, Cheeky said:

On 6/30/2023 at 7:47 PM, Aveju said:

All I feel up to do doing is sitting in the sunshine or scrolling my phone

If that’s all you can do then just do that . Sometimes we need to take extra care of ourselves. 

That sounds super nice, actually! A lil vitamin D, hopefully some cute memes. Gonna shift so I'm in the sun when I get back to work. 

 

I've been trying to realize that rest is productive too, even if my internalized capitalism says it has to be earned. Hope you enjoy some time in the sun!

[Cheeky]

23 minutes ago, littlebird said:

That sounds super nice, actually! A lil vitamin D, hopefully some cute memes. Gonna shift so I'm in the sun when I get back to work. 

 

I've been trying to realize that rest is productive too, even if my internalized capitalism says it has to be earned. Hope you enjoy some time in the sun!

Rest is great when you can . When my anxiety peaks, I have to be active or I feel like I’m going crazy with fear . 

[Aveju]

Update-at 8.5 mg.  Moods are like a roller coaster.  I left the house wearing two different shoes a couple weeks ago.  Lots of ‘dumb’ mistakes and feeling like I’m not all here.  I can laugh about the shoe incident now.

 

 

A song to taper to that describes the process so well-The Climb by No Doubt from the Tragic Kingdom album.

 

   Step by step, I come closer to reaching the top
Every step must be placed so that I don't fall off
Looking down to see about how much higher I am
Another cool wind comes through, brushes my skin

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, the harder I push, the tension does grow
I gather my thoughts the further and further I go
With some luck, I just might keep on climbing (Climbing)
So better to climb than to face a fall (To face a fall)

Chorus]
So high the climb (So high the climb)
I can't turn back now (Can't turn back now)
Must keep climbing up to the clouds (Climb to the clouds)
So high the climb (So high the climb)
I can't turn back now (Can't turn back now)
Must keep climbing up to the clouds (Climb to the clouds)

[Verse 2]
Whoa, pulling myself up by a rope, I better my view, oh
The only thing in sight is what I must do
As I turned, I could see myself falling, falling, falling (Falling)
Which in return, gave me strength for the climb
(Strength for the climb)

[Chorus]
So high the climb (So high the climb)
I can't turn back now (Can't turn back now)
Must keep climbing up to the clouds (Climb to the clouds)
So high the climb (So high the climb)
I can't turn back now (Can't turn back now)
Must keep climbing up and up to the clouds (Climb to the clouds)

[Bridge]
Although many failed, I must now prevail
With no questions
Have no time to stop, onward to the top
Of the mountain
Oh, and I, I can't turn back now
It's so very high, but I can't turn back now
If I keep it up, I'm gonna make it
I'm so very close, can't you see?

[Ma205]

how are you doing? 

[Aveju]

On 10/18/2023 at 11:09 AM, Ma205 said:

how are you doing? 

Hi @Ma205 I am doing okay.  Just had a few days of very little sleep with hot flashes, panic, etc.  

 

I’m finding that practicing acceptance of my situation and the withdrawals has been helpful.

 

Doing a bit better now.  Each day is different .  One day at a time and so excruciatingly slow!

 

I read some of your thread.  You have been going through such a rough time and I hope that you are having a good day today.  

[Ma205]

8 minutes ago, Aveju said:

Hi @Ma205 I am doing okay.  Just had a few days of very little sleep with hot flashes, panic, etc.  

 

I’m finding that practicing acceptance of my situation and the withdrawals has been helpful.

 

Doing a bit better now.  Each day is different .  One day at a time and so excruciatingly slow!

 

I read some of your thread.  You have been going through such a rough time and I hope that you are having a good day today.  

you are doing an amazing job for being on Zoloft for 30 years! I’m 32 and have been on various ssris continually since I was 14 so 18 years. I’m going to see dr Britz this week.. I’m stuck in post acute withdrawal but am still on meds. I’m hoping she can help me. I see she’s done a lot to help you ! 

[Aveju]

Just an update-I’m been at 7.2 mg for nearly two weeks.  I’m overcome with emotion lately.  A lot of sadness and grief.  I’m not sure what to do with all of these feelings.  Having been on medications since age 11, this all feels very intense.  The funny thing is that at the same time I’m enjoying it because it feels so good to just experience emotions!

 

I believe a lot of my recent sadness and grieving is for the person that I was and could’ve been. The opportunities that I lost out on, the ways that I unintentionally hurt others and myself, the things that I don’t remember, the things that I wish I had known….  I don’t even know how to unpack all of it 😂 

 

I feel like I was just a kid and now I’ve woken up in a middle aged woman’s body.  It’s the weirdest thing. I hope to be free of meds and show the younger and current me that I can do this and I will be present in my life and make a good difference to all of those who I am in contact with.  To live fully!

 

 I feel like I have been given a 2nd chance at life, a chance to actually participate and experience it without this hinderance of medication that has sucked the life out of me and left me a shell for so many years.

[Thorin]

1 hour ago, Aveju said:

Just an update-I’m been at 7.2 mg for nearly two weeks.  I’m overcome with emotion lately.  A lot of sadness and grief.  I’m not sure what to do with all of these feelings.  Having been on medications since age 11, this all feels very intense.  The funny thing is that at the same time I’m enjoying it because it feels so good to just experience emotions!

 

I believe a lot of my recent sadness and grieving is for the person that I was and could’ve been. The opportunities that I lost out on, the ways that I unintentionally hurt others and myself, the things that I don’t remember, the things that I wish I had known….  I don’t even know how to unpack all of it 😂 

 

I feel like I was just a kid and now I’ve woken up in a middle aged woman’s body.  It’s the weirdest thing. I hope to be free of meds and show the younger and current me that I can do this and I will be present in my life and make a good difference to all of those who I am in contact with.  To live fully!

 

 I feel like I have been given a 2nd chance at life, a chance to actually participate and experience it without this hinderance of medication that has sucked the life out of me and left me a shell for so many years.

Wow, that hit me hard. I’ve been feeling very similar recently. I don’t know what is my baseline state of being because I was put on meds at 16 and now I’m 44. How do I know who I am, how I feel, whether I truly struggle with anxiety, etc???? It’s exciting at times to be emerging from under the fog of medication and finding out who I am. Other times when I get hit with a strong symptom I worry that maybe that’s just me but I don’t know because I’ve always been on meds…. 

[Aveju]

@Thorin You are not alone in your thoughts!  It sure is comforting to know that I'm not the only one who thinks and feels this way.  

 

I don't think we have a 'baseline' anymore, if that makes sense.  So much time has passed and because we have aged I think things change.   It'll be a surprise... hopefully a pleasant one!

[Aveju]

Just an update.  I'm almost to week 7 of holding at 7.2 mg.  I had some dark depression and so much crying earlier in the month.  We went out of town for Thanksgiving and I got pretty stressed out over a few things which sent me into a short wave that lasted a few days.  

 

I guess I've reached the point where I have to slow down, although I feel I've been going pretty slow to begin with.

 

I find myself very curious about what is going on in my body and brain while tapering.  Like are the withdrawal symptoms because of high cortisol?  Some of they symptoms are similar to serotonin syndrome and that is scary. What causes the cortisol to rise? I know that the stuff about serotonin has been disproven as a cause for depression/anxiety.  I can't seem to find the answers on google, lol.  I've read a lot of posts on SA-ones that try to explain what is happening in the brain.  My doctor did tell me that serotonin increases cortisol.  I have so many thoughts and questions.