Ilovelife: Need assistance please

[Ilovelife]

Hey everyone, quick backstory.

 

I took lexapro 20mg for 4 years, did a very fast taper (less than a month) in February of this year. Made it through the first horrible stages of withdrawal and thought I was out of the woods. 3 months past I started getting horrible sensitive to light and could not sleep at all. Never had this problem before the lexapro. One night I was watching tv I had a headache and then it felt like my brain exploded.. it was very scary and I went to the ER thinking i had a mini stroke. Did a CT scan of my brain all came back ok. Went to my Dr. and he put me on 10mg of celexa and 25mg of amitriptyline to sleep. I’ve been taking celexa the past 6 days and the amitriptyline to sleep because I cannot sleep at all, every time I try to fall asleep my brain jolts me awake.  After doing my research and finding this site I now have realized I tapered far to quickly and was experiencing horrible withdrawal symptoms. 
 

I now know I’ve made mistakes and should have reinstated with the lexapro but I did not know this at the time. Should I just keep taking the celexa and hope to stabilize? 
I feel doomed. Im at a very low point in my life right now. My anxiety is the worst it’s ever been I’m almost in a constant state of panic. I can’t sleep. Have no appetite. If someone could give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated. I’m not sure what to do. Do I tell my dr I want back on lexapro although I’ve already started the celexa?  I feel as if I’ve made to many mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to read.

 

 

 

Edited June 7, 2021 by Gridley

[Ilovelife]

Hey everybody. I have been taking lexapro 20mg for 4 years. Did a quick taper (less than a month) and managed to get past the first withdrawl symptoms. After about 3 months I started to have very bad insomnia accompanied by bladder problems. Kidneys were checked all was good. I then could not focus on anything. One night I was watching tv and my head felt like it exploded. I was so scared I went to the ER and revived a cat scan which came back good. I was so panicked I thought I had a mini stroke. Went to my dr and he said my seratonin needed to be leveled out. He put me on celexa 10mg which I’ve been taking the past 6 days, and 25mg of amitriptyline for sleep. At the time I had almost no sleep in 6 days and was desperate so I took the medication. I have severe anxiety right now, some dissociation I’ve never had in my life and it scared me quite a bit as I’ve never felt this before. I now understand I was going through PAWS and I should have reinstated with lexapro or rode it out but I did not know this at the time. I am quite worried I’ve made to many mistakes. My question is should I stick with the celexa and try to stabilize and then do a very slow taper down the road? Should I just stop the celexa now and try to fight the insomnia? I’m quite lost any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Ilovelife.  Please do not start any more Introduction topics.  Only one Introduction topic per person.  

 

Here's what I understand about your situation:

 

2017 to February, 2021 -- 20mg Lexapro

Feb. 2021 less than 1 month taper to 0

May, 2021 - insomnia, light sensitivity, headaches

June 1, 2021 (IS THIS CORRECT?) - 10mg Celexa, 25mg Amitriptyline

 

If this is correct, please enter the above information in your drug signature using the following link:

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

20mg Lexapro, your original dose, is the approximate equivalent of 40mg Celexa.  So the 10mg Celexa you are taking equals 5mg Lexapro.  Though the two drugs are similar (Celexa is the weaker "cousin" of Lexapro), there are differences, and substitution of one antidepressant for another does not necessarily result in the avoidance of withdrawal symptoms.  During the four months that you were off the Lexapro, your body became accustomed to not having the drug.  It is possible that the 10mg Celexa (which is a higher dose than I would have recommended) overwhelmed your system that was sensitized from your fast taper of Lexapro.

 

You have two choices.  One is to continue the 10mg Celexa and wait to stabilize.  Strictly speaking, the introduction of Celexa isn't a reinstatement (which is done with the previous drug) but Celexa is similar enough to Lexapro that what we know about reinstatement can be applied.  Reinstatement works most dependably within 3 months of your last dose, so you're just within the window.  Reinstatement can work outside the 3-month time frame.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  In any case, you will eventually stabilize.

 

The other choice is to stop the Celexa and reinstate 1mg Lexapro.   This will entail making a 1mg dose from your 20mg tablet.  How to do this is explained in the following link.  Prescription liquid Lexapo is convenient and accurate, but it will require a prescription and your doctor's cooperation. With the liquid, if 1mg is not enough it is a simple matter to very slowly increase.   Other methods include making your own liquid Lexapro and weighing with a digital scale.

 

Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

 

Regardless of which approach you choose, please keep in mind that with reinstatement it takes 4 days for the reinstated dose to reach full strength in your blood stream and another few days for it to register in the brain.  The purpose of reinstatement isn't to eliminate withdrawal symptoms altogether though it does for some) but rather to make them tolerable.  Please read:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ilovelife]

Hey Gridley, thanks for the reply. Sorry I’m having quite the time concentrating at the moment. I may as well stick with the celexa since I’ve been on it for 6 days now. 

Another question if I may, does celexa come in liquid form? And if not how shall I taper such a small pill? When should I start to taper again? Thanks for much for responding Gridley. 
 

take care - ILovelife

[Gridley]

6 hours ago, Ilovelife said:

does celexa come in liquid form?

Yes, it does.

 

6 hours ago, Ilovelife said:

When should I start to taper again? 

You need to stabilize on the Celexa.  I would wait for several months before thinking about tapering again.  You'll know you've stabilized when your symptoms are tolerable and about the same every day without big swings in symptoms.  

 

I wouldn't switch to a liquid until you're ready to taper.  You want to avoid making more than one change at a time.  When you are ready to taper and want to switch to the liquid, you should do a gradual crossover from tablet to liquid so your system becomes acclimated to the liquid.  The crossover we recommend is as follows:

 

3/4 dose tablet, 1/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days.

1/2, 1/2 from 3 to 7 days.

1/4 dose tablet, 3/4 liquid for 3 to 7 days.

all liquid thereafter.

 

You'll need to keep enough tablets to allow you to make the switch.  Don't taper while making the crossover (only one change at a time).   But that's for the future.  For now, take good care of yourself, avoid stress as much as possible, get 30 minutes of gentle exercise like a walk in nature, and let yourself stabilize and heal.

Edited June 8, 2021 by Gridley

[Ilovelife]

Thank you Gridley, very much appreciated.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Ilovelife

 

Are you still taking amitriptyline? What time o'clock do you take it? What time do you get this odd sensation when you're trying to fall asleep?

 

I would stick with the Celexa for now.

[Ilovelife]

Hey altostrata, thank you for your concern. 
 

I have been taking it 30 min prior to bed ( around 9pm ). I’ve been getting the sensation periodically throughout the whole night, everytime right when I feel like I’m going to sleep I get jolted awake. The amitriptyline has been the only thing to allow me to sleep these past few days. I am hoping to not need it tonight. I’m quite angry at the moment I wish I had never taken the lexapro. 

[Mia1]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it will get better with time. Do you plan on continuing with the Amitriptyline? If so, maybe you can get away with a lower dose such as 10 mg? I would ask the moderators what they think since it looks like you’ve only been on this drug for about a week. As you can imagine this drug has its own unique side effects and difficulties coming off. 

[Ilovelife]

Hey Mia1. Thank you so much for the concern. 
 

Yes this is horrible I would not wish it upon anyone. I called a psychiatrist today to try and get an appointment to see what other options are available. I talked with the nurse and told her my situation. I ask her if my seratonin would ever come back naturally she said with a very non convincing voice, “it can” I then replied so that’s means it also cannot? She said that is also true. I’m so angry right now. I had mild anxiety now I have full blown panic attacks and cannot concentrate on anything. Had to quit my job and I’m moving in with my mother in 2 months. Idk why I was ever prescribed this in the first place and why I was never monitored. I was so naive just waking up and taking a pill everyday for 4 years while not doing much research. I just don’t understand why this is not talked about more. I feel as if I’ve been robbed of my life. And the reason I stopped the lexapro other than not wanting to take it was it raised my eye pressure and blood pressure a lot. Now I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to stay on the celexa to stabilize. My dr mentioned Effexor, I really don’t want to have to take anything. The nurse I spoke with also said to me “I know your young but sometimes people have to take pills for the rest of their lives” if they had explained all this from the get go I would have never taking it and naturally dealt with the little anxiety I did have. Now I’m afraid I’m getting depressed. 
thanks everyone who has read this I hope to come out stronger from this. 

 

[Happy2Heal]

the psychiatrists are clueless and those that know or even suspect how much damage these drugs can cause and how hard they can be to get off of, have to force themselves into denial because otherwise they have to face the implications of what they've done. I'm sure overall they felt they were doing a good thing, helping ppl and I imagine they believed what the drug companies tell them.

It is very hard to realize that we were all essentially lied to.

 

 

but for now it's best not to worry too much about that. You need your strength to get thru withdrawal

 

I can so relate to being angry with yourself for accepting the prescriptions in the first place but please try to let that go, as well. It won't serve any useful purpose

I was on lexapro for approx 13 yrs I guess, but I was on many many diff psych meds for over 40 years. Yes almost my entire adult life! 

 

try not to think ahead too much to how you will feel, just concentrate on getting thru each day. that will be enough to deal with.

I can't make any suggestions on tapering etc but I can say that adding more drugs usually makes things worse. In fact adding what you might think of as harmless supplements can also make things worse

 

 

but the good news is, you will heal, you will recover and you will know how strong you truly are. You are already strong enough to get thru this, and that strength is being tested now.

the symptoms are awful but they will gradually subside

Make it your mission to look for the things that are going well or that are getting better, that may  help and even if it doesn't seem to help, at least your mind will have been occupied with pleasant thoughts

 

wishing you courage as you recover 

[Mia1]

1 hour ago, Ilovelife said:

I ask her if my seratonin would ever come back naturally she said with a very non convincing voice, “it can” I then replied so that’s means it also cannot? She said that is also true. I’m so angry right now. I had mild anxiety now I have full blown panic attacks and cannot concentrate on anything.

There is a lot of information on this site about the so called serotonin imbalance, it’s a myth. A lot of your serotonin is actually in your body and gut. No doctor would ever be able to explain just how these medications specifically work on the brain because they just don’t know. So don’t worry about this, you will get better!!

 

1 hour ago, Ilovelife said:

I was so naive just waking up and taking a pill everyday for 4 years while not doing much research. I just don’t understand why this is not talked about more. I feel as if I’ve been robbed of my life.

 Well I did the same thing, except for 20 years. You’ll come out of this stronger than before, look at it like an opportunity to work on yourself. You are young and have a lot of life left. I know it’s hard but try to stay positive. Start looking at non drug coping skills, this site has excellent ideas. I always recommend a daily meditation practice, over time it will help to slow your brain down and give you the space you need when feeling intense emotions, especially anxiety.

 

1 hour ago, Ilovelife said:

I know your young but sometimes people have to take pills for the rest of their lives”

This is simply not true, it’s a choice to take medication. Learn those coping skills because you will heal from this. 

[Crochet]

@IlovelifeHi there!  Thanks for dropping by my string.  I'm so so sorry that you are going through this.  The two most important things to know - this is a temporary experience and it is survivable.  Ask your gf and your mother to remind you of this, often.  I asked the people in my life to constantly remind me that I would get better and that I was strong and healthy.  This really helped because I didn't believe it.  You will get this through this and I will light a candle for you and pray for you tonight.  I experienced everything that you did, including what felt like an explosion in my head, and I am feeling a lot better now.

[Ilovelife]

These words help more than you know. Thank you mia1, I will be sure to read up more when I can. This site has proven to help me very much so far understand these medications.

 

take care mia1 hope to chat soon when I’m in a better place.

[Ilovelife]

Thank you so much Crochet! I read you’re story and I just couldn’t believe how similar they were. You guys are so great thank you so much for being here for me in this hard time. You’ll never know how much I truly appreciate this.

[Ilovelife]

49 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

the psychiatrists are clueless and those that know or even suspect how much damage these drugs can cause and how hard they can be to get off of, have to force themselves into denial because otherwise they have to face the implications of what they've done. I'm sure overall they felt they were doing a good thing, helping ppl and I imagine they believed what the drug companies tell them.

It is very hard to realize that we were all essentially lied to.

 

 

but for now it's best not to worry too much about that. You need your strength to get thru withdrawal

 

I can so relate to being angry with yourself for accepting the prescriptions in the first place but please try to let that go, as well. It won't serve any useful purpose

I was on lexapro for approx 13 yrs I guess, but I was on many many diff psych meds for over 40 years. Yes almost my entire adult life! 

 

try not to think ahead too much to how you will feel, just concentrate on getting thru each day. that will be enough to deal with.

I can't make any suggestions on tapering etc but I can say that adding more drugs usually makes things worse. In fact adding what you might think of as harmless supplements can also make things worse

 

 

but the good news is, you will heal, you will recover and you will know how strong you truly are. You are already strong enough to get thru this, and that strength is being tested now.

the symptoms are awful but they will gradually subside

Make it your mission to look for the things that are going well or that are getting better, that may  help and even if it doesn't seem to help, at least your mind will have been occupied with pleasant thoughts

 

wishing you courage as you recover 

 

[Ilovelife]

Happy2heal I must have missed your post. Thank you so much for the kind words. And I agree these people are quite clueless when I talk to them. After getting off the lexapro my heart started acting funny so I went to the dr and got it checked all was good. I could never feel full even if I ate because my seratonin wasn’t working and I couldn’t be satiated. I’m sure the drs had to have a clue but won’t admit anything themselves. Seratonin is a special thing and  it’s not to be messed with chemically and this I now know. The only good thing of this is I can warn anyone in the future who ever has an inclination to try an SSRI that I can steer them far, far away.

[Greatful]

Hi Ilovelife,

There is so much valuable information here on SA.  Learning and educating yourself can impower you and maybe help feel like you can take some control back in your life.  I was so impowered to learn about what the drugs are doing with your serotonin,  centrel nervous system, and how it is changing your brain.  I am also just starting here on SA.  I also will have to get past my anger at my psych doctor.He messed up big time with my situation.  It is wasted energy, but I can say it is somewhere to direct my frustration. Take your time look around and learn.......Try not get to over whelmed with all the information. 

Patience is a big one you will want to learn.  I know how hard it is to want this to be over with and you want your life back.  With the help and support from everyone here on SA we will all make it through this

Take care of yourself

Greatful

[Ilovelife]

7 minutes ago, Greatful said:

Hi Ilovelife,

There is so much valuable information here on SA.  Learning and educating yourself can impower you and maybe help feel like you can take some control back in your life.  I was so impowered to learn about what the drugs are doing with your serotonin,  centrel nervous system, and how it is changing your brain.  I am also just starting here on SA.  I also will have to get past my anger at my psych doctor.He messed up big time with my situation.  It is wasted energy, but I can say it is somewhere to direct my frustration. Take your time look around and learn.......Try not get to over whelmed with all the information. 

Patience is a big one you will want to learn.  I know how hard it is to want this to be over with and you want your life back.  With the help and support from everyone here on SA we will all make it through this

Take care of yourself

Greatful

Greatful, I appreciate you very much man, is there anyway I can follow your guys stories? I can truly say I’m genuinely smiling as I read this, you guys are fantastic and I’m so happy I made an account here. The information is invaluable and I imagine one day people will realize how bad these drugs truly are and we will all probably be sitting back saying I told you so.  
 

take care brother. 

[Ilovelife]

Quick update: Against the advice from the moderators on this site I have stopped taking the 10mg celexa after 7 days of use. Also have stopped the Amitriptyline a few days prior to that. Needless to say I feel horrible and haven’t had rem sleep in weeks and the last 2 nights not 1 minute of sleep. I understand this was not the smartest thing to do but I cannot take the celexa anymore because it it’s causing my eye pressure to skyrocket to levels my eye Dr says I will need treatment for glaucoma if I continue. My hormones are out of balance. I am a 29 year old male 5”10, 150lbs. Barely have any fat on me and I eat extremely clean and did exercise regularly before I’ve had all this insomnia as I cannot workout being so exhausted. My blood glucose is high which I know is from the lexapro. Considering my BMI and healthy eating habits. Does anyone have any advice for me? My Dr has now washed his hands of me and said he doesn’t want to see me until I go to psych. I have a psych appointment July 2nd. And I have called to set up an appointment with a new Dr. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Can’t take the medicine cause it’s killing me and I cannot sleep. Not really sure what my options are, will my body just crash eventually I cannot go back on the medicine. I also have a thyroid nodule that is growing pretty quickly I’m sure because of stress and lack of sleep. I also believe my thyroid nodule was caused from the lexapro throwing my whole body and hormones out of whack. As no one on either side of my family has ever had any thyroid nodules and they are more prevalent in women and as I’ve stated I’m a 29 year old healthy male or use to be healthy. Someone please show me the light at the end of the tunnel I’m not a depressed person but I can only take so much I just hope I can sleep soon. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. 

[Greatful]

1 hour ago, Ilovelife said:

Quick update: Against the advice from the moderators on this site I have stopped taking the 10mg celexa after 7 days of use. Also have stopped the Amitriptyline a few days prior to that. Needless to say I feel horrible and haven’t had rem sleep in weeks and the last 2 nights not 1 minute of sleep. I understand this was not the smartest thing to do but I cannot take the celexa anymore because it it’s causing my eye pressure to skyrocket to levels my eye Dr says I will need treatment for glaucoma if I continue. My hormones are out of balance. I am a 29 year old male 5”10, 150lbs. Barely have any fat on me and I eat extremely clean and did exercise regularly before I’ve had all this insomnia as I cannot workout being so exhausted. My blood glucose is high which I know is from the lexapro. Considering my BMI and healthy eating habits. Does anyone have any advice for me? My Dr has now washed his hands of me and said he doesn’t want to see me until I go to psych. I have a psych appointment July 2nd. And I have called to set up an appointment with a new Dr. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Can’t take the medicine cause it’s killing me and I cannot sleep. Not really sure what my options are, will my body just crash eventually I cannot go back on the medicine. I also have a thyroid nodule that is growing pretty quickly I’m sure because of stress and lack of sleep. I also believe my thyroid nodule was caused from the lexapro throwing my whole body and hormones out of whack. As no one on either side of my family has ever had any thyroid nodules and they are more prevalent in women and as I’ve stated I’m a 29 year old healthy male or use to be healthy. Someone please show me the light at the end of the tunnel I’m not a depressed person but I can only take so much I just hope I can sleep soon. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. 

My heart goes out to you.  I know that panic.  Take a few deep breathes and know that things will get better.  Can you distract yourself?  I would pore over the symptoms and self care site looking for  people discussing things similar to what I was going through. It helped me not feel so alone in the things I was experiencing.  It also help to reinforce how important it is to stay in the moment and do what ever calming action you can do.  

Hang in there

[Ilovelife]

53 minutes ago, Greatful said:

My heart goes out to you.  I know that panic.  Take a few deep breathes and know that things will get better.  Can you distract yourself?  I would pore over the symptoms and self care site looking for  people discussing things similar to what I was going through. It helped me not feel so alone in the things I was experiencing.  It also help to reinforce how important it is to stay in the moment and do what ever calming action you can do.  

Hang in there

I appreciate you very much greatful. You’re right I need to do everything I can to keep my mind busy. I need to do some more research on this site. I hope you’re doing well man. I wish you the best.
 

[Rusty1]

I hope you are able to find a path forward that works for you.  Remember that that intense anxiety and emotions you are feeling now is due to the sudden changes with your medications.  It can wreck havoc on our central nervous system.  Be patient and give it time to settle down and you will notice that your anxiety and emotions will feel better as well.

[Greatful]

Hi, 

checking to see how you are doing?  

 

Greatful

[Greatful]

@Ilovelife How are you doing?  Hang it there...

[Greatful]

How are you doing?