Ray1990: Lexapro withdrawal or mental illness?

[Ray1990]

Hi im sorry this is a bit lengthy. I was on lexapro for a year and a half. The reason I got in it was because I was having trouble focusing with my new position and it made me a bit anxious. No anxiety attacks or anything. I told my PCP and lexapro 10mg is what he prescribed. He told me that it’s a daily dose and if I was to miss a dose to not worry and pick it up the next day. He told me it was a gentle drug as I am terrified of medications higher than Tylenol. I hated it. It made me a complete zombie, all I did was sleep, gain 30lbs and have horrible vivid dreams/nightmares.  

 

My final dose was about 9 weeks ago (10 April). I didn’t taper correctly and tried to do it myself as my PCP is not very helpful. So I tried to do cold turkey for one week off of 20mg and quickly realized that was a horrible idea (I knew nothing about AD WD). So I started cutting my pill in half to 10mg. I did that for a week and then started cutting it to roughly 5mg for a few days until I made my Dr appointment. He prescribed me 5mg as well as cocktailing it with Wellbutrin. I told him I didn’t want to be on medication. He told me to do this for 6 weeks. I did it for maybe 2 weeks (Wellbutrin for 1 week). the brain zaps were there but manageable. Everything was fine. There were a few times as soon as I fell asleep I thought I heard my daughter call my name and it woke me right up. I read it to be a hypnagogic hallucination. This started over a month ago. The past 2 weeks have been horrible. I always think I see something in the corner of my eye, intrusive thoughts, anxiety attacks, crying spells, insomnia. As soon as I close my eyes I jerk out of my sleep. Today I tried to take a nap and I heard the lady in my dream tell me to wake up. I’m so scared. I’m starting to question my sanity. This has never happened to me before. I’m praying this is withdrawal. I started to take Benadryl to help me sleep but noticed it quickly calms my anxiety. I tend to diagnose myself a lot. I’m so worried I won’t be able to raise my daughter. My mind always jumps to worse case scenario. Has anyone experienced this with Lexapro withdrawal so far down the line (8-9 weeks)? Intense Anxiety mostly hits me in the morning, once I’m up and moving I’m good for the most part with feelings of it here and there. Also I still have brain zaps but they aren’t as bad. 

[Shep]

 Hi, @Ray1990

 

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14 hours ago, Ray1990 said:

He prescribed me 5mg as well as cocktailing it with Wellbutrin. I told him I didn’t want to be on medication. He told me to do this for 6 weeks. I did it for maybe 2 weeks (Wellbutrin for 1 week). the brain zaps were there but manageable. Everything was fine. There were a few times as soon as I fell asleep I thought I heard my daughter call my name and it woke me right up. I read it to be a hypnagogic hallucination.

 

You were wise to only take the Wellbutrin for 1 week. It takes about a month to become dependent on an antidepressant, so you're likely okay with stopping that drug cold turkey. However, you may want to reinstate a bit of the Lexapro. 

 

Here is some information to get you started:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery video (4 minutes)

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

  

The first link - About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms - contains key information. Please read the first post in that thread very carefully. Since you came off of 5 mg Lexapro, you'll want to reinstate at a much lower dose, as your nervous system is now destabilized and may hyper-react to larger doses. You may want to test the waters with just 0.25 mg or 0.5 mg to start. You can always increase. 

 

From the link Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro), please note:

 

On 5/26/2011 at 10:16 PM, Altostrata said:

Special considerations
A significant characteristic of Lexapro is that milligram for milligram, it is much stronger than other SSRIs. Chemically, Lexapro is a variation of Celexa; the molecule was re-engineered to be patentable as Celexa's patent was about to expire. The streamlined molecule is a more potent SSRI, 2 to 4 times stronger than others.

 

This is another reason to start with a very low reinstatement dose - this is a very powerful drug. 

 

Please note that this drug does come in liquid, so please talk to your doctor about prescribing you the liquid formula. It will make reinstating at this low dose and then tapering much easier. 

 

15 hours ago, Ray1990 said:

I started to take Benadryl to help me sleep but noticed it quickly calms my anxiety.

 

When did you start taking Benadryl? Please note it can also cause dependency, so please let us know more about your usage. It has a habit of turning paradoxical for a lot of people. Please see:

 

Antihistamines for withdrawal insomnia (diphenhydramine, doxylamine, hydroxyzine)

 

It contains Diphenhydramine, which may inhibit the reuptake of serotonin, and that could affect your Lexapro taper. (Wikipedia - diaphenhydramine)

 

15 hours ago, Ray1990 said:

I’m so worried I won’t be able to raise my daughter. My mind always jumps to worse case scenario. Has anyone experienced this with Lexapro withdrawal so far down the line (8-9 weeks)?

 

In your title, you wrote "Lexapro withdrawal or mental illness?" I can assure you that you do NOT have a mental illness and you will be able to raise your daughter. It will take time to heal, however. Hopefully the reinstatement will get you to a much more functional level. 

 

Please continue to use this thread to document your reinstatement and taper and to ask questions. 

 

 

[Ray1990]

Ok so for the past 3 days I’ve been waking up with more nausea than crippling anxiety, some anxiety is still there but nausea is taking over. Diarrhea is present now. Worse part of waves is in the morning and sometimes in the evening. I still have a hard time being by myself because I overthink. 
 

but last night was different. Scary different. I took a 400mg magnesium for the first time and instantly felt abnormal. Like everything was suppressed. I couldn’t cry or anything. Like a panic was coming on. I was tired but When I fell asleep I would jerk out of my sleep with shortness of breath. What does this mean? 

[Ray1990]

I have another question, even when you’re in a window can you still hallucinate? I’m always thinking I see something in the corner of my eye 

[brassmonkey]

Hi Ray-- these are all classic signs of Withdrawal Syndrome from doing a very fast taper, basically a CT. Shep has given you some great links to a lot of information that will explain about this.

 

To try and reduce the severity of the symptoms a small reinstatement will probably help. It would be best to start small and see how it goes, probably about 1 or 2 mg for the first few weeks.

[Jennings]

Ray,

 

All of these things you are saying happened to me when I stopped Lexapro.  Jerking awake out of sleep, waking up to a gasp, anxiety, being sensitive to supplements, bathroom issues.  

 

i couldn't take Magnesium, maybe start at a lower dose of it and see how you handle it.

[Shep]

20 hours ago, Ray1990 said:

Ok so for the past 3 days I’ve been waking up with more nausea than crippling anxiety, some anxiety is still there but nausea is taking over. Diarrhea is present now. Worse part of waves is in the morning and sometimes in the evening. I still have a hard time being by myself because I overthink. 
 

but last night was different. Scary different. I took a 400mg magnesium for the first time and instantly felt abnormal. Like everything was suppressed. I couldn’t cry or anything. Like a panic was coming on. I was tired but When I fell asleep I would jerk out of my sleep with shortness of breath. What does this mean? 

 

That's likely too much magnesium to start out with, as Jennings mentioned. Since you're dealing with diarrhea, magnesium is probably something you'll want to avoid for now. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

As you can read in that first post in the thread, don't overdo taking magnesium -- too much will give you diarrhea. Start with 25mg. For now, though, I would avoid magnesium until your GI symptoms resolve. 

 

 

17 hours ago, Ray1990 said:

I have another question, even when you’re in a window can you still hallucinate? I’m always thinking I see something in the corner of my eye 

 

I'm not sure I understand. You mentioned that for the past 3 days, you've been having some distressing symptoms. Do you mean that at times during the day when you're feeling better from the anxiety and stomach problems, you're seeing things? Withdrawal can cause visual distortions, so that's not unusual. 

 

Please post your thoughts on reinstating a small amount of Lexapro. Please see my earlier post for details. 

[PsychologicalSafe15]

@Ray1990 how are your dreams by now ?