labrat15: introduction

[ChessieCat]

On 9/17/2022 at 9:50 AM, Altostrata said:

Good to hear the urge to drink has gone! How long have your withdrawal symptoms lasted after a reduction?

 

Q:  Are you drinking any alcohol?

 

Q:  Have you been sick recently, possibly had/have Covid?

 

Q:  Have you taken a course of antibiotics?

[labrat15]

No have not drank and don't feel any desire too. Sorry for the post but I'm pretty fed up with this 

[labrat15]

And no I have not gotten covid or taken any antibiotics. At least I don't think I have gotten covid anyways.

[labrat15]

Last night I was actually feeling decent but today has been a nightmare and the up and down is just crazy. I'd honestly rather just feel like crap all the time then get moments of feeling good. You think your coming out of it and start getting excited but then your hopes get crushed. I have been dealing with some stress of buying a condo and I just had to drive 12 hours to move in and move my stuff in so I'm guessing this has something to do with feeling awful today. But still I had to meet with my realtor today and the dude could totally tell there was something wrong with me and I just hate people seeing me like this it's embarrassing and I've just had it. I'd rather stay in isolation until I'm better but at the same time I'm craving to be around other people. Also all my previous withdrawals ended sooner than this and I'm starting to get concerned. I know it gets worse every time you taper but I haven't been through anything like this and I'm pretty scared.

[ChessieCat]

48 minutes ago, labrat15 said:

I have been dealing with some stress of buying a condo and I just had to drive 12 hours to move in and move my stuff in so I'm guessing this has something to do with feeling awful today. But still I had to meet with my realtor today

 

I think this has a LOT to do with it.  Each of these things is a huge stressor all by itself:  buying, the physical act of packing/moving and driving a long distance are all major stressors.  And add emotional stress to it.

 

When things get worse I tell members to be their own detective and look at what has happened leading up to the worsening.  I started with the simple questions, but I usual ask if they have work/financial/relationship issues, death of a loved one, friend or pet.

 

52 minutes ago, labrat15 said:

the dude could totally tell there was something wrong with me

 

He has probably seen it all before.  If he knows that you have moved etc then he probably also understands. 

[ChessieCat]

Oh yes, and moving or holidays are other questions I usually ask.

[labrat15]

Yeh this probably the cause but at this point my nerves are so shot I just go right into panic mode. I drove over 12 hours on ice so yeh that's not gonna help things. Thanks for the reply. I think I tapered off the rexulti too fast. I needed to get off it because it was causing my impulsive behaviour and I was drinking and it was making me worse and could not stay stable so I needed to get off it I didn't have a choice. I tapered from 0.25 to 0.125 and felt better after a month and a bit and the impulsive drinking stopped. I felt stable for a week and then decided to do another taper from 0.125 to 0.0625 and I think I over did it and I should have just stayed on 0.125 if the impulsive drinking stopped. I really hope this ends soon. 

[labrat15]

And honestly sorry for the post I wasn't thinking I was just panicked and depressed. If you guys want to moderate my posts I understand but I wouldn't do that again.

[ChessieCat]

19 minutes ago, labrat15 said:

And honestly sorry for the post I wasn't thinking I was just panicked and depressed. If you guys want to moderate my posts I understand but I wouldn't do that again.

 

The staff prefer not moderate members' posts because it just makes more work for the staff.

 

I suggest that you use this as part of the learning experience of how to not only manage what you can do when recovering (eg perhaps you could have taken more breaks whilst driving or stayed overnight somewhere) but also to recognise when things are getting out of hand and heading for a "melt down".

 

I found that learning these techniques has helped me to recognise earlier when things are going down hill and I am more able to manage things before they get out of control.  Just this week I was lying down on the CT angiogram scanner bed about to begin the test (going into a close tunnel) and I started having a panic attack and knew that if I didn't do something about it, then it would have been a full blown attack whilst in the machine.  I said to the radiologist that I needed some more time to calm myself down.  He did that and after a few minutes (it wasn't very long) I had managed to get it under control and did the test with no issues.  And it was the non drug coping skills that I have learned here that allowed me to do this.  But the big thing was that I recognised it early.

 

Non-drug techniques

[Altostrata]

@labrat15 what was your last drug change? What times o'clock do you take each of your drugs, with their dosages?

[labrat15]

I tapered from 0.125 of Rexulti to 0.0625 2 months ago. Before that I tapered from 0.25 to 0.125 and started feeling better after a month and a half. After about 2 weeks of being stable I tapered from 0.125 to 0.0625. The impulsive drinking stopped after I tapered from 0.25 to 0.125 so I should have just stopped after that taper but I just didn't want this crap in my body anymore. I take the 0.0625 rexulti at night and take my 5 mg of lexapro in the morning. I do notice that most of the time after I take the rexulti that my symptoms increase. Sometimes this doesn't happen but most of the time it does.

 

This timeline doesn't add up to my prior tapers which is why I am a little freaked out. I have noticed that after traveling my symptoms have been worse but that being said I should be feeling better by now based on my prior tapers.

[labrat15]

I start feeling totally whacked out when I take the Lexapro in the morning as well. It’s harder to tell with that one because I take it in the morning and the mornings are the worst for me but I definitely start feeling worse after I take any of my meds and this point. This was not the case for any of my prior tapers and I’m worried that I’ve become totally intolerant to any med. if that’s the case then I don’t know if I should just start tapering off everything but at this point I don’t even know if that’s doable. 

[labrat15]

I woke up today and was actually feeling not to bad. I was still pretty messed up but it was better than usual and after 30 min of taking the Lexapro I’m dizzy, disoriented, and my head is ringing. 

[labrat15]

@Altostrata I forgot to tag you so I don't know if you have seen my replies or not. 

[ChessieCat]

Alto is following your topic which can be seen if you click on the 6 next to following top right of your posts.  When a topic is followed they receive notification whenever there is a new post.

[labrat15]

Ok all good. I start feeling better during the nights but morning and days I’m totally debilitated. I have always felt better sooner than this and it’s just causing me to panic a bit. I’m worried I did to much and screwed myself over. The move has definitely taken a toll on me and it’s to the point where I’m getting suicidal thoughts during the day for the last 4 days. 

[labrat15]

I’m seriously considering going on a benzo for week because this is crazy. I have also found Sudafed or Benadryl helps me temporarily. I used Sudafed with my prior tapers and it was a lot more manageable. Only problem is when I stop taking it I withdrawal off that for 3 days but it is nowhere near this level of withdrawal. Last taper I just stayed on the Sudafed until I was done withdrawling and then got off that and it went pretty smoothly. 

[ChessieCat]

You are looking for a quick fix, and when it comes to psychiatric drugs, a quick fix sometimes/often backfires.  Personally I think it would be a very stupid thing to take a benzo.  It doesn't take very long to become dependent on a benzo and once that happens you would then need to be tapered it. 

 

You know the reason why you feel the way you do.  If it was me I would be taking the best care of myself I could.  Try to do the minimum possible and just allow yourself mental and physical rest.  Defer anything that is not essential.  If you need groceries, perhaps do an online order and get them delivered if possible, or get some meals delivered so that you don't have to cook and clean up, but do try and make them healthy meals, not fast food junk which might make you feel even worse. 

 

If you have moved away from family and/or friends and other things that meant a lot to you then you will most likely also be grieving.  If you are starting a new job that is a huge stress.

 

A lot has gone on and there are still adjustments that you need to make to your new home, area etc.

 

When I am stressed my negative thoughts get magnified.  Do relaxation exercises several times a day, even if you don't feel that you need them.  And keep reminding yourself that I know why and that as each day passes I will be make a bit more recovery.

[ChessieCat]

I have found relaxation techniques very helpful.  With the relaxation I think it is better to do short periods of it throughout the day, regardless of whether you feel you need to do it.  Think of it like an old fashioned kettle on stove, the sort with the whistle.  If you keep turning the heat on and off the whistle will never blow because the steam won't build up.  Relaxation techniques work in a similar way.  It won't get rid of the stress completely but you keep bringing it down a bit so that it doesn't get to the build up.

[labrat15]

Yeh benzo would be bad idea but if this suicidal thinking continues I’m taking some Sudafed. Not gonna be dealing with that that’s just horrible. Thanks for your posts I seriously would not know what to do without this site. I would be in some hospital on the never ending medication cascade. I just hope that I get back to normal I haven’t been able to work or go to school or even talk to anyone for 2 years and it’s starting to weigh on me. I’ve gotten periods in between tapers that make me very hopeful but a long period of being normal would be nice. 

[labrat15]

I’ll do some deep breathing and meditation first though and we’ll see if that helps. 

[ChessieCat]

As I said when I am stressed my thoughts become very negative.

 

When I was going through a very bad period of months of feeling suicidal (yes I've been there myself), I bought a book titled How I Stayed Alive When My Brain was Trying to Kill Me.

 

There was one thing that she wrote that really helped me:

 

"It's just a feeling and feelings change."

 

Edited November 16, 2022 by ChessieCat

[Altostrata]

On 11/13/2022 at 8:35 AM, labrat15 said:

I do notice that most of the time after I take the rexulti that my symptoms increase.

 

What symptoms increase?

 

On 11/13/2022 at 8:35 AM, labrat15 said:

Before that I tapered from 0.25 to 0.125 and started feeling better after a month and a half. After about 2 weeks of being stable I tapered from 0.125 to 0.0625.

 

Those are decreases of 50%. While the reductions seem like very small amounts, your last reduction might have triggered withdrawal effects.

[labrat15]

The dizziness, disorientation and head buzzing increase. Today I feel better so I might be coming around. I just can't handle any sort of stress yet and the moving was very triggering. I always get withdrawal symptoms no matter how small the decrease is but this last taper has been abnormally bad and has lasted longer than usual. I'm taking a long break before I taper the rest.  

 

Those are the smallest decreases I can do. I cannot get a liquid formulation for the rexulti so I taper eighths of the lowest dose pill I can get which is 0.25 mg pills. 

[Altostrata]

To fine-tune the final steps of your taper, you could get a liquid compounded or make your own liquid suspension with a tablet, see How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

[labrat15]

According to the pharmacists I talked to the rexulti cannot be turned into a liquid formulation. It would just make the drug ineffective. I don't know if this is true or not but multiple pharmacists told me the same thing.

[labrat15]

I mean I don't see how this would make sense if all I'm doing is dissolving it in water but that is what they told me. They also wanted 300 bucks to attempt to do it lol.

[ChessieCat]

Some drugs are not soluble in water.  Some drugs can be dissolved in a small amount of alcohol before adding  water.  Some drugs can be made into a suspension using an oral liquid like Ora Plus; this would involve crushing the tablet to a very fine powder.

 

You could do a search in the Introduction for for Rexulti and Brexpiprazole to find other members taking this drug and see if they mention how they are getting non standard doses.

[labrat15]

I'm not even going to worry about this right now I'm taking a long break from tapering anything. I had 2 days where I felt better but last 2 days I have felt horrible again. Starting to lose my patience a bit here I really don't understand why the withdrawal from this last taper has lasted so long and I'm very concerned.

[ChessieCat]

I checked with Brassmonkey about this.  He said that it is not possible to make a solution with the brezpiprazole.

 

You will have to either dry cutting and weigh (Gemini 20 scale or similar) or make a suspension using the ora plus or similiar; there is discussion about other options here:

 

how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/comment=583392

 

how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/comment=583503

 

how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/comment=583569

 

[ChessieCat]

So that you know that we (the staff) have researched this:

 

Altostrata told me this:

 

As with other drugs, you can make a suspension with brezpiprazole.  A drug doesn't have to be soluble to make a suspension. 

 

It comes as a film-coated tablet.  It's not extended-release or a fancy matrix formulation, therefore it can be crushed. https://go.drugbank.com/drugs/DB09128

[labrat15]

Ok thanks. Like I said I’m not touching anything for a long time I’m done. Hopefully I start having better days because I’m pretty drained. 

[ChessieCat]

I am certainly not trying to make you hurry up to taper.  I'm just providing you with the information now so that you have it.  At least that way you will know what to do when the time is right.

[labrat15]

Yeh no I didn't think you were just saying it for myself really. I want to get off this stuff so badly but I gotta let myself heal.

[ChessieCat]

I did one long hold and a couple of longer holds during my taper.  It was worth it.

[labrat15]

I am feeling a bit better today. I woke up and had the worst morning I have ever had but an hour later I have improved and feel better than what I did the last 2 days. I am getting some severe ups and downs but I'm taking that as a sign my body is trying hard to return to normal. We'll see how the rest of the day goes but I'm counting on some more ups and downs. I think I am going to cut coffee out as well. I was able to tolerate it with prior tapers but I think it is making my symptoms worse this time around. That is a real kick in the balls but whatever.