Nypeaches89: Trintellix / Brintellix / vortioxetine withdrawal

[SaltoftheEarth]

I'm reading this! ^^ Hope you're doing okay! 

 

I tapered down from 10mg Trintellix to 5mg around 1 month ago. I'm at the point now where I'm deciding whether to reinstate or not (discussing with my psychiatrist). I've been on Trintellix for a few years and escitalopram for a few years before that. 

 

I don't know if now is the right time for me to take on this tapering journey. Trintellix was pretty good for me. I just want to feel stable again and be a functional human!

 

Wishing everyone here all the best. 

 

 

 

[Nypeaches89]

Monthly update. 
 

I still had no PMDD this cycle, I did have mood swings but it was more PMS than anything, so that’s huge progress. I wonder if I’m healing or if it’s just the good weather. I still deal with post menstrual syndrome though, for 12 days after every periods. It’s bad, I feel a constant headache, head pressure, my tinnitus is louder than ever, and I feel a general sickness, a general depression, in my head and in my stomach. It feels so physical. This cycle I have to say wasn’t as bad as the past winter months. But still this question, is it going to last forever ? Am I going to heal ?
 

Another thing. I’ve noticed I’m still extremely sensible to noise and light. I live in a very busy neighborhood (think touristy, party, lots of traffic location), and the mess of the street is becoming intolerable to me. I’ve always been sensible to this but now it feels really upsetting. I’m trying so hard to find a new apartment in a quiet neighborhood but it’s apparently hard to find. Ughhhh
 

Appart from that I sleep really poorly lately, I don’t know why. I think my worsened tinnitus makes me tense and anxious. Planning to try neuro feed-back to help with it although I don’t believe in it at all (for this issue I mean). 

I would say despite everything I’ve turned my first big corner. 

 

 

 

 

[Nypeaches89]

On 4/21/2023 at 12:11 PM, SaltoftheEarth said:

I'm reading this! ^^ Hope you're doing okay! 

 

I tapered down from 10mg Trintellix to 5mg around 1 month ago. I'm at the point now where I'm deciding whether to reinstate or not (discussing with my psychiatrist). I've been on Trintellix for a few years and escitalopram for a few years before that. 

 

I don't know if now is the right time for me to take on this tapering journey. Trintellix was pretty good for me. I just want to feel stable again and be a functional human!

 

Wishing everyone here all the best. 

 

 

 

Wellp you know what to do! A very slow taper, as per this websites recommendation. I think if you feel symptoms right away it’s a normal withdrawal. Which is way better than PAWS. 

[ChelseaMorning]

Hi NyPeaches,

 

I've read through your whole story and can say I totally relate. I too believe I have PMS / PMDD symptoms triggered by amitriptyline withdrawal (14 months ago). Some of the symptoms are regular as clockwork (ovulation and one week before period). Others shift, improve and get worse again each cycle. Some cycles I think finally this is over or it is manageable, and then the next cycle I have 2 intense weeks of PMDD followed by 1 week of post-menstural symptoms with only a few days relief before it starts again - this is the worst. On the whole it does seem to be improving overtime, but I also wonder whether I'll get shot of the PMDD entirely.

 

Reading stories like yours helps me know that I'm not alone. I will try to share anything that I have found helpful with you and wishing you continued recovery, I know how hard this is.

[Nypeaches89]

On 5/8/2023 at 10:55 AM, ChelseaMorning said:

Hi NyPeaches,

 

I've read through your whole story and can say I totally relate. I too believe I have PMS / PMDD symptoms triggered by amitriptyline withdrawal (14 months ago). Some of the symptoms are regular as clockwork (ovulation and one week before period). Others shift, improve and get worse again each cycle. Some cycles I think finally this is over or it is manageable, and then the next cycle I have 2 intense weeks of PMDD followed by 1 week of post-menstural symptoms with only a few days relief before it starts again - this is the worst. On the whole it does seem to be improving overtime, but I also wonder whether I'll get shot of the PMDD entirely.

 

Reading stories like yours helps me know that I'm not alone. I will try to share anything that I have found helpful with you and wishing you continued recovery, I know how hard this is.

Oh wow I just saw your message, I try to limit my time on this website or Reddit, as it makes me ruminate on my symptoms too much.
You’re the first person ever i hear who has both pmdd AND post menstrual syndrome like me. It is comforting to know I’m not the only one. I’m in post menstrual right now (and alas I did have crazy premenstrual , this cycle..). I don’t know anything that helps except exercise, yoga, a general good life hygiene. Did you find supplements that help? I tried everything you could think of. The worst for me is post menstrual, partly because it’s such a rare condition that I can’t even find comfort online or anywhere at all. I too wonder if I’ll ever get rid of my PMDD… since I had 2 good cycles in a row lately, I guess that is progress. And since it’s all related to withdrawal, it should pass…? It’s so weird to live this for so long without knowing if we’ll get any better. 

[ChelseaMorning]

I've also seen improvements in the last 2 months. I think it's mostly time that's healed, but also:

1. Finding this website and having an explanation for what I'm experiencing has helped massively

2. Having some talking therapy to help with awareness, acceptance and coping mechanisms

3. Better weather / healthier lifestyle / less stress / relaxation / exercise ect.

 

In terms of supplements I take omega 3, magnesium, calcium, multivitamin and quercetin. I can't tell if they've have helped or not, but I took in the hope it's supporting my nervous system in some way. My mood symptoms did seem to improve slightly after starting supplements, but didn't seem to noticeably help for insomnia or physical symptoms.

 

One thing I did notice, is that I can fall asleep more easily sitting up or propped up, because the head rushes / brain zaps seem to be worse when lying down flat. Also I give up trying to sleep if I really can't, I distract myself with something else until I feel my symptoms calm down, and then try to sleep again.

[Nypeaches89]

Little update, not any extraordinary progress but still progress.

My last pmdd was absolutely awful, the worst in a while (the absolute top #1 worst was during the PAWS phase last June). The good news is I at least didn’t have a POST menstrual syndrome , I still feel off and depressed but I don’t feel the weird internal buzzing/vibration/agitation that was pure torture. It’s a tiny progress but it still is huge for me. 
Besides, I’m going through a positive life change, I’m moving out of my apartment. It’s not 100% done yet, but I’m in the process. I’m going to be in the neighborhood I’ve been dreaming of for years, a few steps away from the park, 9 minutes walk away from my office. It’s exactly what I wanted. I was suffering so much of the current rental i still have, the neighborhood was driving me insane. I probably have one more month to go before I move. Fingers crossed. Im sure that will help my PMDD so much, because I’ll remove SO MUCH of the daily stress.

 

Another thing, about what helps. 
I did a full body massage last week, it was great, and made me realize I should look into that kind of “therapy”, like a chiropractor, to remove bad tensions in my body. 
 

Oh and last point, 

-I seem to notice times and times again that my cycle is less difficult if I exercise or at least am physically active. The few times I’ve had good premenstrual phases were after days of intense physical activity (via my job not especially exercising but my work is physically exhausting sometimes). And I think it does need to be quite strenuous, because 20 minutes of yoga never made a big difference in wether or not I get pmdd. It just helps coping when it’s there but it’s not healing the problem at its source. 
 

 

[Nypeaches89]

On 6/4/2023 at 11:26 PM, ChelseaMorning said:

I've also seen improvements in the last 2 months. I think it's mostly time that's healed, but also:

1. Finding this website and having an explanation for what I'm experiencing has helped massively

2. Having some talking therapy to help with awareness, acceptance and coping mechanisms

3. Better weather / healthier lifestyle / less stress / relaxation / exercise ect.

 

In terms of supplements I take omega 3, magnesium, calcium, multivitamin and quercetin. I can't tell if they've have helped or not, but I took in the hope it's supporting my nervous system in some way. My mood symptoms did seem to improve slightly after starting supplements, but didn't seem to noticeably help for insomnia or physical symptoms.

 

One thing I did notice, is that I can fall asleep more easily sitting up or propped up, because the head rushes / brain zaps seem to be worse when lying down flat. Also I give up trying to sleep if I really can't, I distract myself with something else until I feel my symptoms calm down, and then try to sleep again.

Happy to hear you see some progress! 
I’ve posted an update, it’s been mixed for me , I’ve had really bad PMDD last cycle, and now my post menstrual phase is better and i don’t feel the internal buzzing (do you have that too?) anymore. That buzzing was absolutly killing me Im so glad it’s gone. 
About therapy I’ve been so triggered by doctors of all kinds being so ignorant about withdrawals AND Pmdd that honestly it’s too hard for me, it’s crazy but they harm me more than they help me. I see a lot of people going to therapists here and I wonder why it’s so different for me. 

[Comecloser80]

@Nypeaches89 May i ask how your sleep is since you stopped taking herbals? Are you able to nap during daytime? 
 

[Nypeaches89]

@Purae  It’s tough! I’m not sleeping well without these herbs, well this week I’m away in vacation and I sleep  very poorly because I’m not in my usual bed (always been like that). I’ll see how I’m doing when I go back to my apartment, I hope to see some progress. Otherwise honestly I’ll go back taking these herbs, but it’s annoying to depend on them, to have to buy them constantly etc. About naps, I can’t really no, when my sleep has been off for more than 4 nights in a row, my nerveius system takes over and I’m all keyed up , I can’t calm it. Only things that help are exercising + cold showers. 

[ChelseaMorning]

On 6/26/2023 at 9:35 AM, Nypeaches89 said:

Happy to hear you see some progress! 
I’ve posted an update, it’s been mixed for me , I’ve had really bad PMDD last cycle, and now my post menstrual phase is better and i don’t feel the internal buzzing (do you have that too?) anymore. That buzzing was absolutly killing me Im so glad it’s gone. 
About therapy I’ve been so triggered by doctors of all kinds being so ignorant about withdrawals AND Pmdd that honestly it’s too hard for me, it’s crazy but they harm me more than they help me. I see a lot of people going to therapists here and I wonder why it’s so different for me. 

 

Sorry I missed your reply! Glad to hear at least one of your symptoms may have eased up, the internal buzzing. I don't think I had this symptom, perhaps only in the acute initial phase of withdrawal. But I did get days of intense depression / dizziness / diassociation / depersonalisation, which were hard to describe, but these are thankfully over now. 

 

I also completely understand about not wanting to see a doctor / therapist. I find the doctor is quite a big trigger for me, I normally come back feeling an appointment feeling awful about myself. In the UK, we have 6 weeks free talking therapy through the NHS if you qualify for it. They don't deal specifically with withdrawal, but have a broad approach to dealing with either / and anxiety and depression. The first session we went down a CBT route of trying to convince myself that there was nothing wrong with me, which was really unhelpful. However he was a very good listener and adapted the therapy to respond to what I found most helpful. Instead we went down a route of practicing acceptance, and evaluating whether the things I did where helpful or not. A good therapist should be able to respond to what you need, even if they don't fully understand withdrawal, but I guess it is a matter of finding the right match.

 

Interesting to hear the excercise and cold showers help. I also find excercise to be helpful. Can't quite bring myself to do the cold shower thing, but perhaps I can give it a go while we have this warmer weather!

[Nypeaches89]

On 7/9/2023 at 11:29 AM, ChelseaMorning said:

 

Sorry I missed your reply! Glad to hear at least one of your symptoms may have eased up, the internal buzzing. I don't think I had this symptom, perhaps only in the acute initial phase of withdrawal. But I did get days of intense depression / dizziness / diassociation / depersonalisation, which were hard to describe, but these are thankfully over now. 

 

I also completely understand about not wanting to see a doctor / therapist. I find the doctor is quite a big trigger for me, I normally come back feeling an appointment feeling awful about myself. In the UK, we have 6 weeks free talking therapy through the NHS if you qualify for it. They don't deal specifically with withdrawal, but have a broad approach to dealing with either / and anxiety and depression. The first session we went down a CBT route of trying to convince myself that there was nothing wrong with me, which was really unhelpful. However he was a very good listener and adapted the therapy to respond to what I found most helpful. Instead we went down a route of practicing acceptance, and evaluating whether the things I did where helpful or not. A good therapist should be able to respond to what you need, even if they don't fully understand withdrawal, but I guess it is a matter of finding the right match.

 

Interesting to hear the excercise and cold showers help. I also find excercise to be helpful. Can't quite bring myself to do the cold shower thing, but perhaps I can give it a go while we have this warmer weather!

Yes I highly recommend cold showers. It’s really good for both nerveous system (resets it) and the brain, it creates new connexions or something, it’s also good for Alzheimer’s so…   

 

About the doctor, it’s funny he tried the « nothing is wrong with you » route, I’ve been exploring that idea as well lately because I heard of it in a book about neuro healing, it’s a technique used for chronic pain which apparently works. There’s also a member of this forum who posted about it in his recovery story. It’s hard for me too to find the fine line between optimist thinking of « I am healed » and denying my suffering. I can’t find the balance. Focusing on my symptoms clearly makes them worse though it’s true. 
anyway good that you found a therapist that helps you! Acceptance resonates more with me too. 
 

 

 

[Nypeaches89]

Update although absolutely nothing positive or new. 🎢

 

 

 

When I’m not in a bad phase of premenstrual or post menstrual I find myself again. In these brief peaceful moments I forget that I’ve been sick and I forget that I’ll be sick again (even if that’s maybe tomorrow). I’m nearing about 21 months off, nearing and still not healed. I still have hypersensitivity to sounds and light (and movement, too much activity in general), and to hormonal changes. I still have mental akathesia every once in a while, the absolute worst symptom which I thought was gone. It is not gone.  I had it after my last periods, it was awful, the only suspects are that I hadn’t taken magnesium in a month and also the summer heatwave which is always something that I’m very (very) sensitive  to. It’s weird to be still in this limbo, where nothing progressed much, but yet I still hope naively, that it shall pass because it doesn’t make any sense not to. My horror thought  is always « what if this is permanent? ». Another scary word is « chronic ». What if this is chronic? I still don’t have the answer, even after reading dozens of success stories, I still have the doomed feeling of not being like the others, of not being on my way to success.  

I suspect that I’m very sensitive to seasons (meaning light and temperature), so September and October should be a good month ie no crazy heat no crazy long days. And probably January to March will be the worst. 

Pmdd symptoms recap lately:

Physical depression from stomach to brain, anxiety, weird buzzing vibration internal feeling, on edge emotional feeling, crying spells, extreme fatigue, impossibility  to keep blood sugar stable, hypoglycemia from waking up to after lunch (despite irreproachable diet). 

Post menstrual syndrome lately:

Physical Depression from stomach to brain, buzzing feeling, constant stomach pains or sudden stomach burning, extreme fatigue (tired all day, better in the evening), awful mental akathesia, extreme hypoglycemia (almost passed out), agitated sleep, worsened light + noise sensitivity. 
 

 

 

One side note: in June I noticed an improvement in my Post menstrual syndrome ! Coincidentally I had taken Ibuprofen during my periods because I was out of my usual paracetamol , which had caused me obviously very heavy periods. Following these very heavy periods I had no post menstrual syndrome for the first time since paws! I intuitively felt like the heavy period maybe perhaps relieved me of too much estrogen (or something else). I looked it up, yes,  ibuprofen does lower estrogen. I am aware I’m playing Doctor Google here but desperate times…  

Anyway, I’ll try taking ibuprofen again and see if it lowers my post menstrual syndrome again. 

~

 

[Marie0828]

On 6/26/2023 at 4:35 AM, Nypeaches89 said:

I’ve been so triggered by doctors of all kinds being so ignorant about withdrawals AND Pmdd that honestly it’s too hard for me, it’s crazy but they harm me more than they help me

Ugh I’m so sorry this has been your experience. It’s been mine as well. It’s great you’ve found this community of people who can relate and validate. Even if it doesn’t help with the physical body symptoms, having people treat you like your experience is real (because it is) helps so much!

 

I hope that you have better days ahead and are able to find some relief. 

[Nypeaches89]

Not an update but just a remark on healing.

I’m more and more thinking my progress is slowed down by the poor efforts I put into my healing. I don’t exercise enough, I never quit smoking (tobacco), and I still drink regularly (moderately, i mean!). I realize the mix of cigarettes and alcohol even just 1 beer is a very toxic inflammatory mix for the brain. I suspected it and it’s confirmed by science apparently. Meaning that if I want to speed up my recovery I should definitely quit smoking and drinking altogether, which is such a hard thing to do. Smoking has been a big emotional crutch for me, I almost want to cry thinking I have to stop.  I don’t know how I’ll handle withdrawals, life, stress, without smoking. It’s paradoxical I know. 

 

[checco]

I was a heavy smoker. I stopped in 2012. I remember that after taking psychotropic drugs I smoked a lot more, especially to calm anxiety or stress. The level was I lit the cigarette with the one I was throwing away.Stopping smoking both tobacco and marijuana and stopping drinking didn't create the problems that psychotropic drugs that ruined my life created for me. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. I don't know if it helps. Even though with this bad anhedonia that has hit me recently I can't move much, perhaps I should try harder.

[Nypeaches89]

Update, nothing crazy. 

I’m having a kinda « good »month, despite not sleeping well which might well be hormonal (pre ovulation). I still feel a weird neurological depression, especially in mornings, and ironically the better I sleep the more my brain feels broken, depressed, groggy in the morning. If I have an agitated sleep I wake up already nervous, with less depression. I think I’m starting a new phase of « meh »symptoms. It’s not horrific like it used to even up to last month (akathesia!). It’s just meh, can’t say my serotonin/dopamine level seem right at all. I still struggle to feel joy, to feel excitement, pleasure, to feel normal orgasms too. But I can feel calm, I can feel love, and I can make people laugh. I’ll ignore the depression and keep moving. This is a slow process. I’m feeling like it will take another year to get back to normal. Hopefully. 

[Nypeaches89]

12 hours ago, checco said:

I was a heavy smoker. I stopped in 2012. I remember that after taking psychotropic drugs I smoked a lot more, especially to calm anxiety or stress. The level was I lit the cigarette with the one I was throwing away.Stopping smoking both tobacco and marijuana and stopping drinking didn't create the problems that psychotropic drugs that ruined my life created for me. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. I don't know if it helps. Even though with this bad anhedonia that has hit me recently I can't move much, perhaps I should try harder.

Congrats to you for managing to quit smoking while in withdrawals. I drink less and less, just a beer with friends sometimes. Still smoking, I don’t have it in me to quit.

[checco]

Compared to what I'm going through in this period, quitting smoking was a walk in the park, when I stopped smoking I wasn't in withdrawal it was a fairly peaceful period.

[Nypeaches89]

Updateeee. 
 

I think I turned another corner, yay. I haven’t had any akathesia since August. My PMDD is much MUCH less severe, I guess it’s just simple PMS now. I’ve started taking a B vitamin complex and zinc on top of my usual magnesium, calcium, and vitex, so maybe that’s why, but honestly I think it’s mostly time. My post menstrual syndrome is still present and causes me more pain now. The symptom basically is depression, still this dark pressure in my guts, I cry a lot, I think I need to « purge » myself from all the withdrawal pain and trauma so I let myself cry as much as I want. I feel like I’m actively healing despite the aforementioned symptoms honestly. I no longer feel the buzzing awful feeling, I no longer have extreme sensory sensitivity. That’s huge. I’ll consider myself healed once I no longer have the strange depression bouts post menstrual. 

[Nypeaches89]

Update again. 
ok so I’m stuck since 3 days in either a wave or a ptsd anxiety episode. I was triggered by a person who talked to me in an unpleasant way. Since then I’ve had massive anxiety, I’m stuck in fight or flight mode, I feel on the verge of a panic attack all the time. I don’t know wether it’s related to ptsd, paws, post menstrual syndrome, or ALL of it. Probs all of it. It’s scary, it sucks, I’ve no idea how to get out of that wave.  

[peaceandlove]

Hey I have all the same symptoms as you. The weird thoughts, the mental akathesia that won’t shut up, the low mood, no joy, fatigue, reacting to bad things that happened in the past in extreme fear, etc. How are you feeling ?  still in a wave?

[Nypeaches89]

On 11/25/2023 at 7:33 AM, peaceandlove said:

Hey I have all the same symptoms as you. The weird thoughts, the mental akathesia that won’t shut up, the low mood, no joy, fatigue, reacting to bad things that happened in the past in extreme fear, etc. How are you feeling ?  still in a wave?

Just saw your message, didn’t get the notification, strangely. 
So… the episode stopped after about 6 days. I do think it was PTSD. I had previously healed this small trauma, and did not have such épisode in a while. I’m confused as to why the trauma came back and wether it is connected to PAWS. Lately I’m very confused about myself, and where I’m at in PAWS. And you, was it a withdrawal typical wave or a ptsd reaction? Did it pass? 

[Nypeaches89]

Update again, yes. 
Everything feels confusing and mushy tbh. I had a very clear predictable pattern of PMDD and post menstrual syndrome until then, where I felt like a night and day difference between one phase and the other, like clockwork. It was hell but it was clear what was going on. Now not so much, it’s all kind of a grey area. My PTSD clearly is totally BACK and it’s painful . I do not know why it came back . I thought I had healed this for good, apparently not.  I’m looking for a new therapist (the other one was gaslighting me about PAWS). It’s a tough time honestly.  I don’t even know if I’m still in PAWS, or if this is just me and my good old problems again. And I wonder if that’s not why there are so few success stories on this website: sometimes maybe you’re over protracted withdrawal syndrome, but your original problems are still there and they’re painful so you don’t feel healed and you don’t feel like screaming “I healed!”. 

[Nypeaches89]

Update again and no one reads me 💀

 

I saw a doctor today to get a vitamin D prescription (it needs prescription here), she was very validating of my PMDD. My pmdd has made a comeback since it’s winter, the weather is purely ugly and dark as hell. I haven’t seen the sun shine in so long. She said my pmdd + painful ovulation may be a hormonal imbalance which was validating , but also a mindf***k because 3 previous doctors all said it’s impossible i have an imbalance since my cycle is very regular, and since im not in the age to be menopausal. I mean with all the insane anxiety I’ve had because of withdrawal and some ptsd episodes, I actually wouldn’t be surprised if I had an imbalance / oestrogen dominance or whatever. I’ll do a blood test late January, and see?! Im so confused cos I thought it was impossible to test our hormones levels since they change constantly, like 2 doctors said this so idk. I also started having a very strange pain in my upper right abdomen, like a side stitch feeling, she said it’s where the gallbladder is. She also said it can be endometriosis lol but I don’t have painful periods so idk I don’t think so.  I’m kinda scared it’s something else more serious. 

The days around my ovulation have been AWFUL, an internal buzzing anxiety wired up feeling, almost akathesia. I wonder if it’s bc of my « ptsd » episode that upped my cortisol for a full week. That and the subsequent junk food.  

I’m seeing an EMDR therapist in a few days to treat my trauma. I’m so nervous to consult a male therapist bc they have a big history of gaslighting me every time. Will this man gaslight me or be a complete a hole like many male doctors in this city?!! Answer in my next update 🫡

[LotusRising]

@Nypeaches89

 

Doctors seem to be as unfamiliar with hormonal imbalances as they are with prescribing psychotropics. I'm glad you found one that seems to understand! Perimenopause can start as early as mid-30's and you don't need to have an irregular period to have symptoms of hormonal imbalance. It's silly that doctors don't know this stuff. The DUTCH test is the gold standard for testing hormones, not sure if it's available in your area, but it uses dried urine samples, rather than blood and is more accurate. I hope you get some answers! Do you have naturopaths in your area?

[Nypeaches89]

12 hours ago, LotusRising said:

@Nypeaches89

 

Doctors seem to be as unfamiliar with hormonal imbalances as they are with prescribing psychotropics. I'm glad you found one that seems to understand! Perimenopause can start as early as mid-30's and you don't need to have an irregular period to have symptoms of hormonal imbalance. It's silly that doctors don't know this stuff. The DUTCH test is the gold standard for testing hormones, not sure if it's available in your area, but it uses dried urine samples, rather than blood and is more accurate. I hope you get some answers! Do you have naturopaths in your area?

Yes she was a very young female doctor, they’re far more informed on that than older guys. 
About naturopathy I already take all the pmdd supplements imaginable, they do help I think but when I have life stressors they’re no longer enough.
And about perimenopause, the doctor did ask me if I had hot flushes or night sweats (I don’t!), that’s what she had in mind I guess. I heard of Dutch test but I got discouraged, in my country doctors HATE when patients do this kind of thing (google stuff, take initiatives, have theories etc), so I wouldn’t have anyone to analyse my results. Maybe I’m a bit scared of doctors too… 

[Serenyd]

On 4/14/2023 at 3:12 AM, Nypeaches89 said:

Update cos it’s been a while. 
Again not a single soul reads this but hey. 
 

One news is my last menstrual cycle I didn’t have any PMDD, BUT I did have 10 days of POST menstrual syndrome. I didn’t have the usual akathesia and constant migraine though, but I did have the overwhelming depression. This post menstrual depression feels like it stems from the stomach, not the solar plexus usual anxiety spot, no, really the stomach. It feels like it stems from there and goes up to my brain. It’s so physical, it’s so tangible. And then ovulation comes and poof, I feel an immense relief, I feel like myself. Although i have trouble sleeping I’m feeling like me again.
I’m trying to tapper off the herbal pills I’m taking for sleeping because I think my brain forgot how to sleep without them and frankly I take too much of these. It’s hard. 
 

This cycle was only the second one without premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It’s made me feel like this illness belonged to the past. Although it’s probably going to come back. Maybe it will gradually show up less and less and then not at all? 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How's it going now?

[Nypeaches89]

On 12/27/2023 at 12:40 AM, Serenyd said:

How's it going now?

It’s.. I don’t know, not extremely bad but not great either. I feel like symptoms are less intense except some days of the cycle. But I’m still not feeling great most of the time. I feel I’m in a grey area of healing if that makes sense?

[Nypeaches89]

Update 

 

I had a terrible, terrible “wave” this entire week, also known as post menstrual syndrome. I was coming back from a relaxing Xmas break at my family’s, and after a long annoying train ride, I arrived in my apartment and I cried hard. Following that, the wave, which is also correlated to my post menstrual phase. I had over the top neuro emotions, like yes there is real stress and real pain etc but it it’s multiplied by 1000. I’ve had mental akathesia again, which I hadn’t had since August. I feel better today, probably my hormones are calming down. I don’t understand why I’ve managed to keep my premenstrual under control but not the post menstrual. I admit i take a million supplements for the premenstrual, and it’s been really helpful. I have NO idea what sup to take for post menstrual. So I take stuff to lower estrogen levels hoping it will help. Maybe I should stop coffee which hightens estrogen levels by as much as 70% I think? I’m ruminating a lot on my symptoms and hormones lately which I know does not help. January marks the official second year post withdrawal, and being hit by this massive wave made me completely lose hope and lose my ability for acceptance. But any time I resist to what happens to me it makes it worse. The irony it is to have to accept the disgusting atrocious thing that is withdrawal. Accept the disgusting beast that ruins your brain and life in general. 
 

I shouldn’t complain I know but yeah. When I see I still suffer while others who were on AD for 15 years healed in two years it makes me lose hope completely. 
 

 

Happy new year. 🙄

 

[Nypeaches89]

Still post menstrual, day before ovulation I think, I was going through a TERRIBLE “wave” this morning. For whatever reason I had the intuition to take an Ibuprofen. I can not believe how much relief it brought me?!! I went from absolute horrible “inflammation depression” feeling in the brain, to feeling absolutely normal in 20 minutes? @Altostrata ever heard of something like this?! 
This is so crazy. 

[Altostrata]

 

FYI As peer counselors, we cannot provide general medical advice or gynecological or endocrinological advice.

 

I have stepped back from active participation in this site. Please do not tag me again.

 

[Serenyd]

On 1/11/2024 at 6:30 AM, Nypeaches89 said:

Still post menstrual, day before ovulation I think, I was going through a TERRIBLE “wave” this morning. For whatever reason I had the intuition to take an Ibuprofen. I can not believe how much relief it brought me?!! I went from absolute horrible “inflammation depression” feeling in the brain, to feeling absolutely normal in 20 minutes? @Altostrata ever heard of something like this?! 
This is so crazy. 

I get awful anxiety and sometimes flushing with ovulation. I'd be interested to know what the ibuprofen did for you. 

[Nypeaches89]

43 minutes ago, Serenyd said:

I get awful anxiety and sometimes flushing with ovulation. I'd be interested to know what the ibuprofen did for you. 

I don’t know for sure if it was the I ibuprofen. But basically I felt a sudden relief of my symptom which is basically kindling/buzz inflamation sensation of brain and CNS. I’d need to try many other times to be sure it’s the ibuprofen… because that sounds a bit too easy !

[Nypeaches89]

Just wanted to share this success story I found on YouTube. It’s a benzo story but similar to SSRI stories I guess . 
I found this woman’s way to cope very inspiring. And yes she did heal:)
 

 

 

[Nypeaches89]

Update 

 

Nothing great. I’m 2 years off and I’m really struggling with the acceptance that I’m still not well. I still feel like my neurotransmitters levels are totally screwed. I have 0 dopamine, 0 serotonin, 0 gaba, probably. Lately I’m more and more depressed. Going from premenstrual syndrome to periods exhaustion to post menstrual awfulness, symptom to symptom to symptom endlessly…  I think these two past years have damaged me, I’m burnt out from withdrawal, burnt out from enduring this pain daily. I’m tired of waiting and hoping all for nothing. No progress or maybe one millimeter every year?! I don’t have a normal life anymore. My life was already pretty lame. I see some people with much worse drug histories get fully better in 2 years. Meanwhile I’m still feeling broken. I have no joy anymore, just a pit in my stomach constantly. Sorry for all the negativity but I’m so ******* done with this.