LanaCoFireBird: Lamictal withdrawal and recovery

[LanaCoFireBird]

I’m also currently staying away from home for 2 weeks, I’ve become very erratic and emotional and unstable and the way my suicide attempt happened, it traumatized my poor roommate who helped me through it. She is very sick from the mold as well and it’s imperative to keep things low stress. She needs  space and time to recover so we are living apart for some time until things stabilize more. I feel this is fair and I want to get well again. 

[LanaCoFireBird]

I also narrowly avoided a very scary institution with bad psych practices and it probably would have undone all the hard work and courage I’ve done to get to 40. It was a voluntary place that looked good on paper it I read tons of sobering horrible Yelp reviews, they were long and honest and I feel i dodged a bullet. 

[LanaCoFireBird]

I have a really important life update that has been nestled in the comments. I am re-posting it again here in my previous three post on this thread tell the rest of the story.

 

my taper and meds are going fine. But I will be at 40 for the near foreseeable future. Lots of health and life stuff. I am really scared and alone and I work so hard to get to 40 and I don’t want lose my progress in addition to everything else I lost.

 

_—————-

There’s been big life altering changes and instability not related to the taper and I need to reach out here for support. 
 

I lost my home to toxic black mold and all of my treasured possessions, I’ve been living out of bags and in air bnbs and have had a stressful scary move with so much uncertainty. 
 

worst of all, the mold has caused neuro inflammation and has caused bad  mental health symptoms, including a suicide attempt on Sunday.   inpatient psych treatment was on the table and I had fear of being put on more meds to control the acuity of what I’m going through, it’s severe. I had fear about losing control and my autonomy and psych trauma all over again. But I also need help. I can’t work and I’ve never been in that place before. 

 

 

luckiliy I’m doing intensive out patient instead, which is more therapy and less med heavy where I may have more control over my care. I am taking propranolol again and Ativan might temporarily be on the table just to get through this really hard part. I have so many conflicted feelings. I know I need to treat the health issues first and foremost to get well. I also know I’m under tremendous stress and am struggling and need acute help.  My plan with any meds I might go on is to keep it temporary.  I will not tango with any mood stabilizers or any psychotics and probably avoid ssri. I plan to hold tight on my lamictal taper.  Just freezing it. Not increasing or decreasing.

 

they might try to gaslight me  and blaming my taper for my instability and try to increase my dose. But I will fight for ll he hard work I’ve done.  Any tips on advocating for myself in intensive outpatient? I start Friday and want to stay strong and firm on my lamictal plans. 
 

the only meds I really want to tango with are anti anxiety, and just temporarily. 

[LanaCoFireBird]

I have a really important life update that has been nestled in the comments. I am re-posting it again here in my previous three post on this thread tell the rest of the story.

 

my taper and meds are going fine. But I will be at 40 for the near foreseeable future. Lots of health and life stuff. I am really scared and alone and I work so hard to get to 40 and I don’t want lose my progress in addition to everything else I lost.

 

_—————-

There’s been big life altering changes and instability not related to the taper and I need to reach out here for support. 
 

I lost my home to toxic black mold and all of my treasured possessions, I’ve been living out of bags and in air bnbs and have had a stressful scary move with so much uncertainty. 
 

worst of all, the mold has caused neuro inflammation and has caused bad  mental health symptoms, including a suicide attempt on Sunday.   inpatient psych treatment was on the table and I had fear of being put on more meds to control the acuity of what I’m going through, it’s severe. I had fear about losing control and my autonomy and psych trauma all over again. But I also need help. I can’t work and I’ve never been in that place before. 

 

 

luckiliy I’m doing intensive out patient instead, which is more therapy and less med heavy where I may have more control over my care. I am taking propranolol again and Ativan might temporarily be on the table just to get through this really hard part. I have so many conflicted feelings. I know I need to treat the health issues first and foremost to get well. I also know I’m under tremendous stress and am struggling and need acute help.  My plan with any meds I might go on is to keep it temporary.  I will not tango with any mood stabilizers or any psychotics and probably avoid ssri. I plan to hold tight on my lamictal taper.  Just freezing it. Not increasing or decreasing.

 

they might try to gaslight me  and blaming my taper for my instability and try to increase my dose. But I will fight for ll he hard work I’ve done.  Any tips on advocating for myself in intensive outpatient? I start Friday and want to stay strong and firm on my lamictal plans. 
 

the only meds I really want to tango with are anti anxiety, and just temporarily. 

[LanaCoFireBird]

Sending a bump. I could really use help right now. Thank you 

[manymoretodays]

On 5/28/2023 at 10:41 AM, LanaCoFireBird said:

luckiliy I’m doing intensive out patient instead, which is more therapy and less med heavy where I may have more control over my care. I am taking propranolol again and Ativan might temporarily be on the table just to get through this really hard part. I have so many conflicted feelings. I know I need to treat the health issues first and foremost to get well. I also know I’m under tremendous stress and am struggling and need acute help.  My plan with any meds I might go on is to keep it temporary.  I will not tango with any mood stabilizers or any psychotics and probably avoid ssri. I plan to hold tight on my lamictal taper.  Just freezing it. Not increasing or decreasing.

 

they might try to gaslight me  and blaming my taper for my instability and try to increase my dose. But I will fight for ll he hard work I’ve done.  Any tips on advocating for myself in intensive outpatient? I start Friday and want to stay strong and firm on my lamictal plans. 
 

the only meds I really want to tango with are anti anxiety, and just temporarily. 

 

There, there LanaCoFirebird.  And oh my......so much on your plate. 

Yes.  Definitely good time to just HOLD at the 40 mg dose of Lamictal.

As your nervous system is still so very fragile and then add to that when things happen outside of your control(the mold, and living situation change).

You do have control and choices, when it comes to how you respond to that internal distress.  I'm so sorry to hear all your best choices were drowned out by the distress you must have been feeling when you made a suicide gesture.  I am also very glad to hear you were unsuccessful with that gesture.

 

No reason you HAVE to share any of your tapering with anyone new you encounter while in intensive outpatient.  I don't know that you need to go beyond that you ARE currently on Lamictal and that you would like to remain on that drug right now.  And then take advantage of being with others in the intensive outpatient........it may have the advantage of keeping you distracted from some of your present thinking upheavals.  And there might be something in the program that IS helpful, or somebody who understands just that you are in so much distress, and offers kindness and care, and some good non-drug ideas for you to try.

 

Nothing lasts forever.  Calm will return again.  Just when and how......that is the unknown.

 

Are you getting some relief from propranolol?  And yes, okay if you need a short term benzo.

Drug Interactions for Lamictal, Ativan, Propranolol  from Drugs.com, just for your awareness.  And often, as you no doubt know.......it's about 2 weeks with benzo usage until the physiologic dependency sets in with regular usage.  So do be sparing, if Ativan is your choice to use.......and maybe you can avoid another drug to taper in the future.

I think you do need to do what you feel really helps right now until your system is able to begin to calm a bit.  And I trust you'll know what's best.

 

Again, I'm so glad to hear you are taking measures to stay safe right now and are okay.  You matter.  You are being read and heard here.

 

I'm on break mostly, but maybe some others may pop by to offer more support at this tough time for you.  I hope that helped if even a little bit.  And thank you for updating.

Don't hesitate either to browse in Symptoms and Self Care.  Pinned topics there, and many indexes to different things to read about and then try non-drug.

And when signed in.......some of the "Off Topic" topics can often help one distract and/or just post music there or listen to music, or read, or find topics that speak to you and bring comfort or laughter.  That forum is only signed in member available, and can be a nice refuge sometimes.  Explore, yet limit your exploration to what helps best right now.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth  and rapid return to homeostasis, or where you were before recent events.

mmt

 

 

Edited June 14, 2023 by manymoretodays

[redkite]

HI firebird, Long time no speak!!  I haven't been around here much since last November but I remembered your name and traced it back to when I light a candle for you! I will do that again for you tonight. Its grim the situation you find yourself in but I reckon you may get some help now that will be really usable. I should be able to be available on here for the foreseeable so reach out to me, please I am more than happy to listen to you.  Whether I can actually be any use is another matter, but I will try! Its really hot here at the moment and I have just put a baby bird outside that had decided to cool of in my kitchen!!! I love animals but not in the kitchen!!!  Try to take what you can from the outpatient experience and anything you do not like or feel is wrong you can leave behind. I have just had some person centred counselling and it was very helpful particularly around the friend thing!! I also am also useless at friendships BUT like manymoredays says it takes 2!!! Take care, look after yourself and be kind to yourself please. Things are rough for you but you know they can get better. Lighting the candle know! Speak soon.

[LanaCoFireBird]

On 6/14/2023 at 11:23 AM, manymoretodays said:

 

There, there LanaCoFirebird.  And oh my......so much on your plate. 

Yes.  Definitely good time to just HOLD at the 40 mg dose of Lamictal.

As your nervous system is still so very fragile and then add to that when things happen outside of your control(the mold, and living situation change).

You do have control and choices, when it comes to how you respond to that internal distress.  I'm so sorry to hear all your best choices were drowned out by the distress you must have been feeling when you made a suicide gesture.  I am also very glad to hear you were unsuccessful with that gesture.

 

No reason you HAVE to share any of your tapering with anyone new you encounter while in intensive outpatient.  I don't know that you need to go beyond that you ARE currently on Lamictal and that you would like to remain on that drug right now.  And then take advantage of being with others in the intensive outpatient........it may have the advantage of keeping you distracted from some of your present thinking upheavals.  And there might be something in the program that IS helpful, or somebody who understands just that you are in so much distress, and offers kindness and care, and some good non-drug ideas for you to try.

 

Nothing lasts forever.  Calm will return again.  Just when and how......that is the unknown.

 

Are you getting some relief from propranolol?  And yes, okay if you need a short term benzo.

Drug Interactions for Lamictal, Ativan, Propranolol  from Drugs.com, just for your awareness.  And often, as you no doubt know.......it's about 2 weeks with benzo usage until the physiologic dependency sets in with regular usage.  So do be sparing, if Ativan is your choice to use.......and maybe you can avoid another drug to taper in the future.

I think you do need to do what you feel really helps right now until your system is able to begin to calm a bit.  And I trust you'll know what's best.

 

Again, I'm so glad to hear you are taking measures to stay safe right now and are okay.  You matter.  You are being read and heard here.

 

I'm on break mostly, but maybe some others may pop by to offer more support at this tough time for you.  I hope that helped if even a little bit.  And thank you for updating.

Don't hesitate either to browse in Symptoms and Self Care.  Pinned topics there, and many indexes to different things to read about and then try non-drug.

And when signed in.......some of the "Off Topic" topics can often help one distract and/or just post music there or listen to music, or read, or find topics that speak to you and bring comfort or laughter.  That forum is only signed in member available, and can be a nice refuge sometimes.  Explore, yet limit your exploration to what helps best right now.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth  and rapid return to homeostasis, or where you were before recent events.

mmt

 

 

 When I was in outpatient I got lucky with the psychiatrist in that he only supports short term use of psych meds to get you through a crisis/stabilized and then tapering. He was very understanding of my lamictal tapering and just left it alone. 
he did prescribe a low dose of Remeron for the nightmares that were waking me up at 4 am. Luckily they resolved in their own with more trauma work and my own work to treat my inflammation and neuro inflammation. (I’m taking quercetin and turmeric, magnesium taurate  and changing my diet up a lot to get mast cells and inflammation under control. Next step: I’m in the process of finding a naturopath who’s under my insurance and specializes in mold, I’ve reached out to only a fraction of the people and already found 5 really good options! 
I’m also trying to find a good group therapy program and DBT for after out patient. My time is running out there but I’m hoping I can find things to continue keeping me stable. I’ve worked really hard and learned a lot there as well as gotten into a good sleep and food and exercise routine (just long brisk walks for me right now). The rest of my life is unsettled and uncertain and a lot is up in the air, but I do feel I’ve stabilized internally. 
 

i don’t know when it will be but I’m looking forward to my next lamictal taper. I wonder if my struggles with mold were making it worse.  I’ve gotten into a good routine with tapering and figured out what works for me. I think I’m going to leave it  alone for another month and then try and resume again once I re-evaluate. Treating mold often takes years so that will be something going on at the same time as my taper and might present a challenge but I feel I’m on a good path to stabilizing my mental health and hopefully I can make my life more stable. I’m still uncertain where I’m living, who I’m living with and what’s going on 

[LanaCoFireBird]

On 6/14/2023 at 11:23 AM, manymoretodays said:

 

There, there LanaCoFirebird.  And oh my......so much on your plate. 

Yes.  Definitely good time to just HOLD at the 40 mg dose of Lamictal.

As your nervous system is still so very fragile and then add to that when things happen outside of your control(the mold, and living situation change).

You do have control and choices, when it comes to how you respond to that internal distress.  I'm so sorry to hear all your best choices were drowned out by the distress you must have been feeling when you made a suicide gesture.  I am also very glad to hear you were unsuccessful with that gesture.

 

No reason you HAVE to share any of your tapering with anyone new you encounter while in intensive outpatient.  I don't know that you need to go beyond that you ARE currently on Lamictal and that you would like to remain on that drug right now.  And then take advantage of being with others in the intensive outpatient........it may have the advantage of keeping you distracted from some of your present thinking upheavals.  And there might be something in the program that IS helpful, or somebody who understands just that you are in so much distress, and offers kindness and care, and some good non-drug ideas for you to try.

 

Nothing lasts forever.  Calm will return again.  Just when and how......that is the unknown.

 

Are you getting some relief from propranolol?  And yes, okay if you need a short term benzo.

Drug Interactions for Lamictal, Ativan, Propranolol  from Drugs.com, just for your awareness.  And often, as you no doubt know.......it's about 2 weeks with benzo usage until the physiologic dependency sets in with regular usage.  So do be sparing, if Ativan is your choice to use.......and maybe you can avoid another drug to taper in the future.

I think you do need to do what you feel really helps right now until your system is able to begin to calm a bit.  And I trust you'll know what's best.

 

Again, I'm so glad to hear you are taking measures to stay safe right now and are okay.  You matter.  You are being read and heard here.

 

I'm on break mostly, but maybe some others may pop by to offer more support at this tough time for you.  I hope that helped if even a little bit.  And thank you for updating.

Don't hesitate either to browse in Symptoms and Self Care.  Pinned topics there, and many indexes to different things to read about and then try non-drug.

And when signed in.......some of the "Off Topic" topics can often help one distract and/or just post music there or listen to music, or read, or find topics that speak to you and bring comfort or laughter.  That forum is only signed in member available, and can be a nice refuge sometimes.  Explore, yet limit your exploration to what helps best right now.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth  and rapid return to homeostasis, or where you were before recent events.

mmt

 

 

 Oh and propranolol has helped. I take it 3 times a day with meals and we’re increasing my lunch time dose to a little more because afternoons are harder. I have Ativan as needed for emergency panic attacks ( I had a really bad one my second week of treatment) but I’ve only used it once. 
So propranolol is the only thing I’ve really added 

[LanaCoFireBird]

On 6/14/2023 at 12:37 PM, redkite said:

HI firebird, Long time no speak!!  I haven't been around here much since last November but I remembered your name and traced it back to when I light a candle for you! I will do that again for you tonight. Its grim the situation you find yourself in but I reckon you may get some help now that will be really usable. I should be able to be available on here for the foreseeable so reach out to me, please I am more than happy to listen to you.  Whether I can actually be any use is another matter, but I will try! Its really hot here at the moment and I have just put a baby bird outside that had decided to cool of in my kitchen!!! I love animals but not in the kitchen!!!  Try to take what you can from the outpatient experience and anything you do not like or feel is wrong you can leave behind. I have just had some person centred counselling and it was very helpful particularly around the friend thing!! I also am also useless at friendships BUT like manymoredays says it takes 2!!! Take care, look after yourself and be kind to yourself please. Things are rough for you but you know they can get better. Lighting the candle know! Speak soon.

Hello! I really really appreciate you lighting a candle for me. Iighting candles is a big part of my spiritual practice for various reasons so that gesture means a lot in those ways too.  Out patient has been decent. While caring for my brain and healing is going to be a bit more physical (getting support for the mold and reducing inflammation, etc)  than psychological, I did get some helpful things and tools out of out patient.  My preferred  therapies are more somatic, emdr and IFS but I did find some helpful DBT skills. The psychiatrist there was completely understanding my lamictal taper and why I’m doing it and my psych meds here were minimal and the big changes were made psychologically and with supplements to help reduce inflammation and get the mast cells under control. 
 

My outer life itself is still just as unstable and uncertain (though I am out of the mold!) but I feel more grounded and stabilized internally 

[redkite]

Hi, 

how are you doing. You sounded positive and forward looking in your last post but silence since. I have only just got some funds back for my lap top, again, but have been thinking about you. Yes candles are mentally important to me to! I am struggling hugely at the mo but have fixed ( everything in my life is broken!) my push bike so the exercise is good! Very shaky anxious and weird but thats the norm I think trying to come of paroxetine!! Hope your managing ok ish. Take care

Redkite

[LanaCoFireBird]

Hi, the spring and summer of 2023 have been a wild ride, and I’ve been on a solid pause for my taper since then. (Mold causing neurological and other serious health symptoms, job change, house change, suicide attempt in  late May, bad depression going through intensive outpatient, navigating new sibo and candida diagnoses and one of my most precious friendships was on the rocks but it’s on the mends now.  I also had several big spiritual awakenings and asked myself some hard questions in how I was showing up. The answers and the questions themselves were well worth it. 
 

things are starting to settle and stablize
I feel that I’m very much as different person, in many good ways but the transformation itself was painful, as is often the case. 
 

im coming out the other end and I’m thinking about starting the taper again. My insurance covers this clinic that has people well versed in psych med withdrawals and I’m feeling hopeful that I’ll have the help I need.  
http://www.amendaclinic.com/therapies-modalities
 

i apologize for not checking in and responding sooner.  But I’m ok. 
 

 

[LanaCoFireBird]

I just picked my compounded lamictal and I’m going to switch over to that from what I was doing before. I’ll keep my same dose of 37.5 for at least 2 weeks, maybe a month and then start my slow taper again. 
 

I’m hopeful that things will go better this time; I’ve gotten lots of mental health support, am addressing the mold and the Sibo and I already have an idea what to expect from my previous experience and research. 
 

2 tricky things:

1)that I’m metabolizing a massive amount of grief (both personal and collective) and digging around through the layers via emdr and my own processing. It’s near the surface and I’m feeling lots of global grief right now. 

2) I’m on a lot of supplements, more than before, but they are necessary because I’m also tackling other health issues at the time, like mold and sibo. 
I know when I start addressing the mold in more depth it may bring up some of those symptoms initially and might be a lot on my body. I might hold the lamictal accordingly as I get there. 
 

 

im still nervous about starting the taper again and  but I believe in what I’m doing  so very much and while I know the finishline is far away, I’m in this for the long haul. I’m committed for many personal reasons, but to me this is part of a collective liberation. This is political and anti ableism work happening on the personal sphere.  This aligns with my values and I’m going to recover so much when I get there, and In the process. 

[LanaCoFireBird]

I don’t know if anyone is following my taper story anymore, but I’d love some company and support and would love to offer the same. 
 

Update: I haven’t tapered but I switched over from solid to compounded meds without changing the dose- I was at 37.5 and was taking a 25 mg pill plus a half of one, so all solids. 
 

im noticing an effect even for that switch without a taper, albeit managagable. 
 

im having a lot of sensory issues with sound and bright light. Everything feels like too much. Also some mild shakiness and a depressive mood with some anxiety. 
 

I know switching from solid to liquid can be a big deal and it impacts you differently and there’s an adjustment period. So im just hoping it clears up in a few days. I did the switch on 12/28 so very recently. 
 

also going through a tricky life thing with a shaky friendship. 
 

im also on a lot of supplements for co occurring conditions and im wondering if  anyone wants to have a look or can help me navigate a taper and treating sibo and mold detox at the same time. 
 

 

[Thorin]

Hey, I dropped by and read the first few posts of your thread after you dropped by my thread. I’m sorry your family gaslit you into taking meds when you were a kid. It happened to me too. It’s hard to switch gears from the belief that there’s something wrong with you when you’re taught stuff like that, and then of course psychiatry always finds SOMETHING that is wrong and ‘requires medicating’. You’re doing so well with the therapy and coming off meds and getting yourself back despite how difficult a path it is. It’s weird learning who you are after being medicated away for so long isn’t it. Exciting too though!

[LotusRising]

Hi @LanaCoFireBird

 

9 hours ago, LanaCoFireBird said:

im noticing an effect even for that switch without a taper, albeit managagable. 

 

As you already know, this is not uncommon and it's probably prudent to hold off on tapering until these new symptoms pass.

 

9 hours ago, LanaCoFireBird said:

im also on a lot of supplements for co occurring conditions and im wondering if  anyone wants to have a look or can help me navigate a taper and treating sibo and mold detox at the same time. 

 

We can't advise on treating sibo or mold, but I'm wondering if someone has recommended all these supplements? Do you find they are all beneficial? 

 

What a lot of people find helpful is cutting out excess sugar and refined/processed foods, as well as avoiding alcohol. You might find removing things like dairy, gluten and high starch carbs will also be beneficial for SIBO.

[LanaCoFireBird]

Hey y’all I adjusted well to the switch to liquid and made a cut of 10% last week 1/11/24. Doing well with the cut. Didn’t notice any physical symptoms this time. Just some brain fog and feeling a little disorganized and scattered the first few days (it’s clearing up now). Right now I notice emotions are more vivid and intense, (namely grief) but I’m at peace with it. Lamictal numbed me so I know part of the withdrawal process and the healing is the vividness coming back online and re learning how to navigate it. I have lots of tools and it helped knowing the patterns of my waves and knowing what to expect and knowing that I’ll adjust and integrate this as I heal. Maybe some of these are neuro-emotions, maybe some of this is me feeling things I haven’t been able to feel while in the meds. Who’s to say? But it doesn’t feel overwhelming at this point. It almost feels like a natural part of the process and maybe even a sign I’m healing. 
 

goals this week are to drink more water (I love my herbal teas when I remember to drink them) and exercise on my trampoline, find creative outlets and stay consistent with my supplments. 

[LanaCoFireBird]

On 12/31/2023 at 8:07 AM, LotusRising said:

Hi @LanaCoFireBird

 

 

As you already know, this is not uncommon and it's probably prudent to hold off on tapering until these new symptoms pass.

 

 

We can't advise on treating sibo or mold, but I'm wondering if someone has recommended all these supplements? Do you find they are all beneficial? 

 

What a lot of people find helpful is cutting out excess sugar and refined/processed foods, as well as avoiding alcohol. You might find removing things like dairy, gluten and high starch carbs will also be beneficial for SIBO.

So with the supplements, most of them are probiotics to replace what the anti-biotics wiped out this summer (which was part of the sibo process). Other supplments are to heal the gut lining. My doctor recommended those a part of the treatment process. So far all those are mixing well with the meds and the taper and I’m doing some dietary changes and work as well. (I struggle with sugar but I’m trying to focus more on that end of things but I’m avoiding dairy, gluten and corn, which has been helpful for both sibo and withdrawal. )  So I think I’ll keep those consistent. They feel gentle. 
 

I feel the mold detox process will be less gentle and I’ll wait to go full throttle and do some research. 
 

 

[LanaCoFireBird]

On 12/30/2023 at 11:29 PM, Thorin said:

Hey, I dropped by and read the first few posts of your thread after you dropped by my thread. I’m sorry your family gaslit you into taking meds when you were a kid. It happened to me too. It’s hard to switch gears from the belief that there’s something wrong with you when you’re taught stuff like that, and then of course psychiatry always finds SOMETHING that is wrong and ‘requires medicating’. You’re doing so well with the therapy and coming off meds and getting yourself back despite how difficult a path it is. It’s weird learning who you are after being medicated away for so long isn’t it. Exciting too though!

I completely agree and I appreciate the feedback encouragement. I’ve been doing emdr and lots of deep dives in toxic shame in therapy and doing that as I tend to my physical symptoms has been deeply helpful. 

[Thorin]

.

[LanaCoFireBird]

I'm feeling really resilient and hopeful today so I thought I'd hop on for a little update. I'd like to be more regular in posting here. I switched to compounded lamictal in late december and started my taper down to 33. something jan 11th and down to 30 Feb 1st. I'll be switching back to 4 week taper schedule and maybe consider 3 weeks again somewhere down the road if things continue to go well.

 

And things have been going well! No purely physical symptoms (except a little achiness and grogginess on day 2). 

 

when I taper, I usually go though a stage where I feel lots of anxiety and like I'm crawling out of my skin with lots of sensory issues. I went though that for the jan 11th taper but it felt easier to manage somehow. I'm working with milky oat tincture, Valarian root and skullcap and that's offered amazing support for that and I've been able to be out in public more and feel ok in my body. I also cut out coffee for that week in the taper cycle and that's been immensely helpful. I'm very excited about these w/d symptoms improving

 

After doing my research, I decided to keep my probiotics and everything that was working for me as is, as I  know that managing my sibo and gut health is really helpful with brain health. it's been working for me.

 

I've added a lot of body work and movement. I'm in a DBT class and going through EMDR sessions with another therapist and I'm doing my own flavor of shadow work. there's a lot going on and I've been processing some heavy emotional stuff. but I feel everything is just harmonizing together and I feel well supported in my taper.

 

I do struggle with some brain fog forgetfulness and ADHD symptoms mid taper and I'm still trying to troubleshoot that or feel my  way through that period knowing it will resolve.

 

I've also been researching both neuroinflammation and brain health in general and shame around neurodivergence and I'm trying my best to release myself from toxic shame and explore the shadows around that. I'm also reclaiming myself after years of believing the lies the psych med industry told me about myself and about my brain. I've be wanting to get into  MAD pride activism when I have more space and feel better.

 

I can see my curious expansive mind coming back.

And lots of feelings coming back, and finally, I'm welcoming them back and learning to work with them. instead of either pushing them away or getting overwhelmed. 

 

 

I also feel hopeful that I made it to 30 mls. I know low dose lamictal gets harder and I still have a long road ahead of me. But I'm celebrating that I made it so far and that I'm continuing to taper again. 

 

I hope I get some company in my taper journey but just sharing this for anyone who wants hope today, and to document this for myself.

[LanaCoFireBird]

Oh, and I forgot to mention I haven’t needed much if any propranolol because the sensory symptoms and anxiety are really well controlled with everything I’m doing. I have it on hand just in case and I’m not actively trying to discontinue that one at the time. It’s prn, so not needing it as much was a very plesant surprise 

[Thorin]

1 hour ago, LanaCoFireBird said:

I'm feeling really resilient and hopeful today so I thought I'd hop on for a little update. I'd like to be more regular in posting here. I switched to compounded lamictal in late december and started my taper down to 33. something jan 11th and down to 30 Feb 1st. I'll be switching back to 4 week taper schedule and maybe consider 3 weeks again somewhere down the road if things continue to go well.

 

And things have been going well! No purely physical symptoms (except a little achiness and grogginess on day 2). 

 

when I taper, I usually go though a stage where I feel lots of anxiety and like I'm crawling out of my skin with lots of sensory issues. I went though that for the jan 11th taper but it felt easier to manage somehow. I'm working with milky oat tincture, Valarian root and skullcap and that's offered amazing support for that and I've been able to be out in public more and feel ok in my body. I also cut out coffee for that week in the taper cycle and that's been immensely helpful. I'm very excited about these w/d symptoms improving

 

After doing my research, I decided to keep my probiotics and everything that was working for me as is, as I  know that managing my sibo and gut health is really helpful with brain health. it's been working for me.

 

I've added a lot of body work and movement. I'm in a DBT class and going through EMDR sessions with another therapist and I'm doing my own flavor of shadow work. there's a lot going on and I've been processing some heavy emotional stuff. but I feel everything is just harmonizing together and I feel well supported in my taper.

 

I do struggle with some brain fog forgetfulness and ADHD symptoms mid taper and I'm still trying to troubleshoot that or feel my  way through that period knowing it will resolve.

 

I've also been researching both neuroinflammation and brain health in general and shame around neurodivergence and I'm trying my best to release myself from toxic shame and explore the shadows around that. I'm also reclaiming myself after years of believing the lies the psych med industry told me about myself and about my brain. I've be wanting to get into  MAD pride activism when I have more space and feel better.

 

I can see my curious expansive mind coming back.

And lots of feelings coming back, and finally, I'm welcoming them back and learning to work with them. instead of either pushing them away or getting overwhelmed. 

 

 

I also feel hopeful that I made it to 30 mls. I know low dose lamictal gets harder and I still have a long road ahead of me. But I'm celebrating that I made it so far and that I'm continuing to taper again. 

 

I hope I get some company in my taper journey but just sharing this for anyone who wants hope today, and to document this for myself.

This is amazing to read. Sounds like you’re doing very well in yourself and that your taper is going very well.