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Larry1983: 7 months in WD after a fast taper


Larry1983

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How to tell its withdrawal and not depression

 

Hey there gang 

I have been off AD for 8 months , after about 10 years.. mentally I think they really damaged me but I still can’t tell just now…while the physical WD has mostly got better mentally it’s getting pretty tough .. depression, extreme overthinking, negative thoughts 

note- I was depressed on AD too after life situations about 5 years back and I haven’t re built my life 

my question please for anyone who has gone through some difficult life stuff as they healed how do I know if this is WD depression or my life Situation which I am not happy with at all just amplified more ?!?!

in my tiny tiny windows I feel alive and awake but they are so short lived I just find it hard to believe healing is possible for me and that infact it’s where my life is at now (which is an issue for me) just more strong because the AD are no longer helping 

everyone keeps telling me it takes more time and those windows will become my reality 😧I just can’t see how it can get better… I’m at the point now where I blame my extreme low mood, Si, all day neg thoughts on where my life is at and not on withdrawal 

any suggestions please ?

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Gee thanks! This feels nothing like I ever felt in my life .. but I just think isn’t that depression from life circumstances, breakup’s, financial issues … 

I want to keep going but the windows are so short and strangely they only happen when I sort of stop thinking about the depression if that makes sense🤦🤦

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Larry1983

I can relate to the many questions and worries. Remember your thoughts are just that thoughts.  Now add on withdrawal,chemical changes going on in your brain, you get morphed thoughts.  Learning how to not get caught up in those thoughts is a start to finding your way out of your confusion.  What sort of coping methods have you tried?  Meditation, CBT, Mindfulness, positive affirmations. Self help books.  

You should be proud of yourself for taking the first steps in recognizing, how can I help myself, do the drugs really help me?  Unfortunately trying to do it when your brain is not connecting quite right makes it harder.  I think if anything we learn from this horrible withdrawal  is how to help ourselves, who we are and what it important to us.  First be kind to yourself, learn coping skill to deal with withdrawal and patience. 

 

Life is full of ups and downs for most of us.  That's life.  Now days we want a pill to fix everything.  As you have shown, the drugs did not help you, they maybe even made  worse.  

You certainly can learn how to manage the ups and downs of life with a good therapist, and  the drive  to pursue helping yourself.

 

You are having window and getting a glimpse of what could be, who you are.  Sometimes when we have been in this fight for many months it becomes our norm and we can't imagine feeling joy or passion.  What is that?  

 

Did you get a chance to look at Therapy in a Nutshell? 

 

You are much more capable then you think, look how far you've come.🤗

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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It's much easier to see in other people but you are doing really well.  The windows may feel short but that is a great sign of healing!  It is so hard because the days feel so long in the middle of this situation.  Write down every window, every small victory.  You have made significant progress in your healing which won't be apparent upfront.  

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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1 hour ago, Greatful said:

 What sort of coping methods have you tried?  Meditation, CBT, Mindfulness, positive affirmations. Self help books.  

 
As you have shown, the drugs did not help you, they maybe even made  worse.  

 

You are having window and getting a glimpse of what could be, who you are.  Sometimes when we have been in this fight for many months it becomes our norm and we can't imagine feeling joy or passion.  What is that?  

When I think less about it and convince myself that it’s WD I do better, other times when I’m convinced I’m doomed it gets harder. But affirmations yes and some cbt 

 

in the window yes the drugs hurt me more than helped me.. in waves it’s the other way. I also convince myself that in the windows I manage to talk myself into a window by thinking about new things in life etc.. if that’s possible?

 

this fight for many months feels like depression and torture itself it’s like a hangover that never ends 

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Larry1983

have you had a chance to read some of the success stories?  It can be encouraging to read that people do heal from these drugs.

I am Read happy2heal she was poly drugged and on drugs for 40 years and doing great.  

Trying to stay out of your head is a big challenge.  When in a window I can do this,  then the wave and the negative thoughts crash in.  People say to write a note to yourself when you are in a window so when the next wave hits you can pull it out and read it. 

 

It looks like you are spending a lot of times trying to control how you feel and think.   That takes a lot of wasted energy.

Accept how you are feel at any given moment....Yeah I know it's hard to do, but when you try not to fight it so much it tends to dissipate a little.  Something I am trying to work on myself.  My therapist has pointed it out to me that it is normal for people to have ups and downs. Try not to question why this or that and change it to what can I do today or right now.  So today I could take a shower,  talk to my therapist, water my some plants make a half attempt to clean the kitchen, make  myself something to eat for lunch and supper.  Wow what a full day LOL 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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  • Mentor
2 hours ago, Larry1983 said:

When I think less about it and convince myself that it’s WD I do better,

The working with hands,  the doing , the helping others really helped stop me from thinking about it. 
Acknowledging it is wd and then accepting it helped me to work and do other things more which both together created a more positive attitude and after that started it just kept going and going! And then confidence came 👍
 

but before When I didn’t realize or accept it was wd I was a mess😳

your doing good💪
 

 

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

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On 6/22/2022 at 6:03 AM, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

I can relate to the many questions and worries. Remember your thoughts are just that thoughts.  Now add on withdrawal,chemical changes going on in your brain, you get morphed thoughts.  Learning how to not get caught up in those thoughts is a start to finding your way out of your confusion.  What sort of coping methods have you tried?  Meditation, CBT, Mindfulness, positive affirmations. Self help books.  

You should be proud of yourself for taking the first steps in recognizing, how can I help myself, do the drugs really help me?  Unfortunately trying to do it when your brain is not connecting quite right makes it harder.  I think if anything we learn from this horrible withdrawal  is how to help ourselves, who we are and what it important to us.  First be kind to yourself, learn coping skill to deal with withdrawal and patience. 

 

Life is full of ups and downs for most of us.  That's life.  Now days we want a pill to fix everything.  As you have shown, the drugs did not help you, they maybe even made  worse.  

You certainly can learn how to manage the ups and downs of life with a good therapist, and  the drive  to pursue helping yourself.

 

You are having window and getting a glimpse of what could be, who you are.  Sometimes when we have been in this fight for many months it becomes our norm and we can't imagine feeling joy or passion.  What is that?  

 

Did you get a chance to look at Therapy in a Nutshell? 

 

You are much more capable then you think, look how far you've come.🤗

 

Can I ask please 

what is healing? In a window it’s so different it seems unreal so the question is if the windows are the future where is the depression about current life issues etc .. I don’t feel depressed in a window

but people who don’t take and have never taken AD get depressed 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I don’t really understand this part or do people feel better off them and things balance out like the good and the bad but because they feel less numb and more alive they overall feel better?

OR— if we do back to how we were before AD maybe that’s the shock of it all in the windows it’s just so so so different to how I have felt for over a decade 

it can’t all be bliss in the future but the windows feel too good I feel normal 

👍🙏🙏

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus
25 minutes ago, Larry1983 said:

but people who don’t take and have never taken AD get depressed

 

That is correct.  People who have never ever taken a psychiatric drug experience life stressors and get low moods.  It is normal.

 

29 minutes ago, Larry1983 said:

I don’t really understand this part or do people feel better off them and things balance out like the good and the bad but because they feel less numb and more alive they overall feel better?

 

Psychiatric drugs numb our emotions.  When I got down to about 10mg Pristiq (starting dose 100mg) I noticed my emotions starting to return.  It is important to learn and use non drug coping and general life coping skills so that we can cope with life stressors when they happen.  Sometimes when were are tapering we can experience heightened emotions and it can be scary because we have been numb for a long time and haven't had to deal with feeling different emotions.

 

Windows and Waves relate to ADWD symptoms not daily life.  Windows are when you feel improvement, waves are when you symptoms worsen.

 

This video might help you to understand it:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

Windows and Waves relate to ADWD symptoms not daily life.  Windows are when you feel improvement, waves are when you symptoms worsen.

 

 

Thankyou I understand that bit I guess.. but in the windows I have had I feel like a healthy person without the numbness and cloud that I’ve had for 10 years .. is that the aim of healing or is it just feel this bad and this is maybe healed and learn to live like this

i just don’t understand what that clarity focus aliveness is in the window .. it seems to good to be true 

I’ve been dead for many years 

 

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

This might help:

 

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

The above is in this topic:

 

what-is-happening-in-your-brain

 

And there is this:

 

how-psychiatric-drugs-remodel-your-brain

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
4 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 

Thankyou 

I’m your experience are the windows really what can be ahead In healing? It’s impossible to even imagine that… it would mean going back to who I was before AD 

im kind of scared to get my hopes up

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
  • Mentor

@Larry1983

I know it can be so confusing.  Who am I?  You have been under a drug suppressed state for so long, so you adjusted that to being your normal.

If the drugs caused the depressed and anxious state then don't you think it's safe to say  that as they leave your system and your brain heals and fines it's own homeostasis  that depressed state and anxiety will become less and your brain will become clearer.  What a wonderful experience to feel more real.  Hopefully you will find a healthy way to cope with everyday normal ups and downs.  Enjoy finding out who you are. 

 

You  may also experience some mood swings as your brain adjust,  times of low mood, anxiety, morphed negative thoughts, confusion because your brain is  not connecting right.  Both emotional and physical symptoms.

This is how Baylissa Frederick says about talks about.

Down Regulation:

In the  cases of both antidepressants and benzodiazepines, the longer the drug is taken, the more the receptors change to accommodate the raised levels of neurotransmitters.  They become desensitized (less sensitive) or ‘down-regulated’ and remain this way during the time the drug is taken.  When the drug is discontinued, the cells then take time to readapt to the changes or to ‘up-regulate’.  During this period of readjustment withdrawal symptoms can be experienced. 

 

 

I think you might enjoy the link above that CassieCat sent you What's happening in your brain.

 

 

  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

I know it can be so confusing.  Who am I?  You have been under a drug suppressed state for so long, so you adjusted that to being your normal.

If the drugs caused the depressed and anxious state then don't you think it's safe to say  that as they leave your system and your brain heals and fines it's own homeostasis  that depressed state and anxiety will become less and your brain will become clearer.  What a wonderful experience to feel more real.  Hopefully you will find a healthy way to cope with everyday normal ups and downs.  Enjoy finding out who you are. 

 

You  may also experience some mood swings as your brain adjust,  times of low mood, anxiety, morphed negative thoughts, confusion because your brain is  not connecting right.  Both emotional and physical symptoms.

This is how Baylissa Frederick says about talks about.

Down Regulation:

In the  cases of both antidepressants and benzodiazepines, the longer the drug is taken, the more the receptors change to accommodate the raised levels of neurotransmitters.  They become desensitized (less sensitive) or ‘down-regulated’ and remain this way during the time the drug is taken.  When the drug is discontinued, the cells then take time to readapt to the changes or to ‘up-regulate’.  During this period of readjustment withdrawal symptoms can be experienced. 

 

 

I think you might enjoy the link above that CassieCat sent you What's happening in your brain.

 

 

  

It’s just so hard to believe 

after 8 months and really only 2 short proper windows I still pretty much feel the same and of course the doubt kicks in… I would think that I would see improvement over 8 months but very little 

if I had the typical waves windows scenario I would feel more optimistic I guess 

Some say 6-9 months is hard who really knows ? 🙏

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I was on an antidepressant for 25+ years, from 2012 on Pristiq.  I've now been off for 7 months.  I feel better off the drug than I did being on it.  Now that isn't to say that I feel fantastic, but things have changed, I have changed, my health and body have changed during that time.  Every now and then I would love to be numbed to the emotions I have when life gets hard to cope with, but there is no way I would go back on an AD.

 

Thankfully in the last 7 years I have learned many non drug coping techniques which are very helpful with getting through these tougher/tough times that life throws at me.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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45 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

I was on an antidepressant for 25+ years, from 2012 on Pristiq.  I've now been off for 7 months.  I feel better off the drug than I did being on it.  Now that isn't to say that I feel fantastic, but things have changed, I have changed, my health and body have changed during that time.  Every now and then I would love to be numbed to the emotions I have when life gets hard to cope with, but there is no way I would go back on an AD.

 

Thankfully in the last 7 years I have learned many non drug coping techniques which are very helpful with getting through these tougher/tough times that life throws at me.

That’s fantastic are you still in withdrawal? How do you feel better like more joy more alive?

it must be so much better if you can confidently say you would never go back do you know what I mean..

I want to have that hindsight 😞

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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6 hours ago, Greatful said:


If the drugs caused the depressed and anxious state then don't you think it's safe to say  that as they leave your system and your brain heals and fines it's own homeostasis  that depressed state and anxiety will become less and your brain will become clearer.  .

 

 

  

Isn’t that the million dollar question at the moment and go through this WD for an x amount of time and not really know is it just me that’s like this or did the AD cause so much of my hell over the last 10plus years …

no I was never like this or as bad as I was on them BEFORE them!..

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus
8 hours ago, Larry1983 said:

That’s fantastic are you still in withdrawal? How do you feel better like more joy more alive?

it must be so much better if you can confidently say you would never go back do you know what I mean..

I want to have that hindsight 😞

 

My post 0 updates start here:  chessiecat-so-im-not-the-only-one-pristiq-desvenlafaxine

 

Edited by ChessieCat

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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On 6/24/2022 at 5:59 AM, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

I know it can be so confusing.  Who am I?  You have been under a drug suppressed state for so long, so you adjusted that to being your normal.

If the drugs caused the depressed and anxious state then don't you think it's safe to say  that as they leave your system and your brain heals and fines it's own homeostasis  that depressed state and anxiety will become less and your brain will become clearer.  What a wonderful experience to feel more real.  Hopefully you will find a healthy way to cope with everyday normal ups and downs.  Enjoy finding out who you are. 

 

You  may also experience some mood swings as your brain adjust,  times of low mood, anxiety, morphed negative thoughts, confusion because your brain is  not connecting right.  Both emotional and physical symptoms.

This is how Baylissa Frederick says about talks about.

Down Regulation:

In the  cases of both antidepressants and benzodiazepines, the longer the drug is taken, the more the receptors change to accommodate the raised levels of neurotransmitters.  They become desensitized (less sensitive) or ‘down-regulated’ and remain this way during the time the drug is taken.  When the drug is discontinued, the cells then take time to readapt to the changes or to ‘up-regulate’.  During this period of readjustment withdrawal symptoms can be experienced. 

 

 

I think you might enjoy the link above that CassieCat sent you What's happening in your brain.

 

 

  

If depression  is a WD symptom and my life situation makes me depressed 

even after healing aren’t I just going to “feel” and be less numb to the depression or where my life is and so I wonder how this can be worth it

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Mentor

@Larry1983  Unfortunately you will have up and down times in your life.  That does not mean it has to be called depression.  If you are unhappy with your things in your life you have the power to make changes and find what makes you happy or content.  We have the power to take charge of our lives.  We also need to understand that we are not going to feel happy every single minute of everyday.   You might be over analyzing things.

This might be a good time look into some self help books or look at Therapy in a Nutshell http://Therapy in a Nutshell - YouTube 

 

Have you tried writing down things that you are grateful for? It doesn't have to be big monumental things only, it could be the smell of coffee (if you like that lol, I do)  Fall colors, laughter, think of things that put a warm feeling in your heart.

How about daily positive affirmations.  I like to use, I am safe, I am okay right now,  I am okay today.   Here is a good one  I love myself.

 

If you stop and look deep inside you will see who you are and then find a way to bring that person out.

You can do this♥️

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Lexapro  Taper> Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg  slow taper to  Aug/12/2022 2.04mg  2023> 2mg,  1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024   0

Lamictal  taper  4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22-   0

 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg  July 2023   0

Xanax  0.0625 3 x a day,  2023>  0.042 3x a day

Supplements  Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC 

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42 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983  Unfortunately you will have up and down times in your life.  That does not mean it has to be called depression.  If you are unhappy with your things in your life you have the power to make changes and find what makes you happy or content.  We have the power to take charge of our lives.  We also need to understand that we are not going to feel happy every single minute of everyday.   You might be over analyzing things.

This might be a good time look into some self help books or look at Therapy in a Nutshell http://Therapy in a Nutshell - YouTube 

 

Have you tried writing down things that you are grateful for? It doesn't have to be big monumental things only, it could be the smell of coffee (if you like that lol, I do)  Fall colors, laughter, think of things that put a warm feeling in your heart.

How about daily positive affirmations.  I like to use, I am safe, I am okay right now,  I am okay today.   Here is a good one  I love myself.

 

If you stop and look deep inside you will see who you are and then find a way to bring that person out.

You can do this♥️

 

 

 

If It’s just depression after WD or sadness and it opens it up more because you can feel it and your not numb I won’t be able to do this 

last 8 months are hell

i thought some light or joy would come from “feeling” and being off them

i don’t get it

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I think when we have been an an AD for a long time (for me it was about 30 years and I'm now 64 so more than half my adult life) it can be scary to stop the drug because we don't know what to expect once we are off it.  For me the side effects of being on a drug are worse than having to cope with life without the drugs.  I definitely feel like I have more control.

 

And don't forget that you are still recovering from basically a cold turkey.  Improvement can be so gradual that you don't feel/see/notice it.  But some months down the track something will happen and you think ah that's right it used to be like this but it is gone/changed.  I find that often it is a member mentioning a symptom and I will think yes I used to have that too but I don't know.

 

For me the periods of better/good moods greatly outweighs the periods of lower/low moods.

 

I would rather cope with the times when my mood is lower/low than to be numb 100% of the time.

 

It is important to learn and use non drug coping skills to get through the periods of low moods.  I think for most people this is something that we have not been taught/learned earlier in our lives.  And the more I used non drug coping techniques to get through the tough times, the more in tune I became and I can pick up much sooner when my mood is lower.  And I tell myself that I understand what it is, I try to think of why it might be, am I tired, hungry, sick, have I done too much etc and I remind myself that I just need to look after myself and it will pass.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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50 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

.For me the periods of better/good moods greatly outweighs the periods of lower/low moods.

 

I would rather cope with the times when my mood is lower/low than to be numb 100% of the time.

 

😧I have only had low mood for 8 months 

thats my greatest fear that life issues are just more real off the AD and this is me 💆‍♂️

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I suggest that you go and read some of the success stories:

 

Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

 

This is the search results for "cold turkey" in the success stories forum:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/search/?q="cold turkey"

 

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983  Unfortunately you will have up and down times in your life.  That does not mean it has to be called depression.  If you are unhappy with your things in your life you have the power to make changes and find what makes you happy or content.  We have the power to take charge of our lives.  We also need to understand that we are not going to feel happy every single minute of everyday.   You might be over analyzing things.

This might be a good time look into some self help books or look at Therapy in a Nutshell http://Therapy in a Nutshell - YouTube 

 

Have you tried writing down things that you are grateful for? It doesn't have to be big monumental things only, it could be the smell of coffee (if you like that lol, I do)  Fall colors, laughter, think of things that put a warm feeling in your heart.

How about daily positive affirmations.  I like to use, I am safe, I am okay right now,  I am okay today.   Here is a good one  I love myself.

 

If you stop and look deep inside you will see who you are and then find a way to bring that person out.

You can do this♥️

 

 

 

Thankyou, I don’t know how to change my life right now… negative racing thoughts, intense depression and many tiger things on top of stressful life issues 

my last hope is that if I get through WD and do feel better off the AD that maybe I can make some changes then… otherwise I’m screwed a bit lol

🙏🙏

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
8 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

I would rather cope with the times when my mood is lower/low than to be numb 100% of the time.

 

Is it possible in your experience that when / if I lose the numbness ( which I have felt twice in windows only for short periods of time) that I would only feel bad emotions and no joy or Aliveness because of life stresses?

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
On 6/25/2022 at 11:09 AM, ChessieCat said:

I suggest that you go and read some of the success stories:

 

Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

 

This is the search results for "cold turkey" in the success stories forum:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/search/?q="cold turkey"

 

 

Can you please tell me in your experience is it possible to feel worse month 8 almost than months 4/5.. feel dead zero motivation, I wouldn’t even call it depression more like death, CNS burning skin

how can it be getting worse and not better?

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Larry, I didn't do a fast taper off my drug so my experience is different from yours.  After initially reducing my drug by 50% and getting very bad withdrawal symptoms I found SA and updosed and then did a 6 year taper.

 

I have already given you a link to the search results for Cold Turkey in the Success Story forum.

 

Please read this:

 

Cold Turkey and Too-Fast Tapers

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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46 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Larry, I didn't do a fast taper off my drug so my experience is different from yours.  After initially reducing my drug by 50% and getting very bad withdrawal symptoms I found SA and updosed and then did a 6 year taper.

 

I have already given you a link to the search results for Cold Turkey in the Success Story forum.

 

Please read this:

 

Cold Turkey and Too-Fast Tapers

I apologize ..I didn’t know anything about tapering over years 

doc told me do it like this I found you guys recently. I’m also getting messages that say reinstatement is risky others like your attachment saying I could be in hell for 6 years if I stay this course. So yeah I feel lost

I wouldn’t choose this If I knew better 

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment

Is it possible to reinstate after 8 months of hell after fast taper

 

8 months out after fast taper advised by doc, found you guys late. Was starting to get some tiny glimpses a week or so ago but recently feel worse than ever, overall worse in month 8 than before, some what scared about people saying fast taper can take 6 years to heal 😧😧

some say reinstatement is too late

please any advise ? What can I do

thankyou 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment

Hi @Larry1983

I am really sorry that you are feeling awful, and that you also got some tapering advice from your doctor that probably wasn’t the best for you.

 

You’ve been off antidepressants for 8 months now. That’s a big achievement in itself! What are the symptoms that are causing you trouble/distress since you have stopped? How is your sleep?

 

 

Drug history:

zoloft 2015-May 2021 max dose 200mg (3 month fast taper)

lexapro 5mg August 2021-September 2021 (adverse reaction, CT)

amitriptyline and tempazepam- September 2021 (1 week because of severe insomnia. Did not help. CT)

2018-September 2021 Intermittent use of benzodiazepines (mainly oxazepam, do not know exact dates approx 1-2 per week, although many months without any in between)

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Thankyou it was body issues burning, hangover feeling, everything is a struggle and depression anhedonia just feeling dead. It’s 8 months and mentally it’s probably worse it’s just harder to function zero motivation 

don’t know what to do to be honest 

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Nobody can say whether reinstatement will work or not.  Generally it is thought that reinstatement is best done within 2 months after stopping a drug.  However, some people reinstate very soon after stopping and it does not work.  The opposite is the same.  Some people find that reinstating after a long time off the drug does not work but some find that it does work.

 

Unfortunately, where psychiatric drugs are concerned, basically we are all an experiment where N=1.  We are all individuals.

 

And unfortunately nobody can decide for you.  It is up to you what you do.  All we can do is provide information so you can make an informed decision.

 

Please carefully read Post #1 of this topic:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Please note that if you do decide to try reinstatement you would start with a very small dose to see how your react; possibly as low as 0.25mg or 0.5mg Prozac (as an example).  If you decided to reinstate Prozac, you will need to be patient as the drug builds up in your system because it has a very long half life and it can take several weeks for it to get to full level and be registered by the brain.  If there was no bad reaction to the starting dose but no or not much improvement you would then increase by another small amount.  It is better to make gradual small increases than to risk taking too much.  With Prozac's long half life it is even more important to make small increases and wait at least 2-3 weeks before increasing again.  If you increased too much, and then reduce the dose it will take 2-3 weeks for the decrease to take effect.

 

Q:  What was the reason you stopped Prozac?  Did you have any issues when taking it?

 

Generally it is better to reinstate the last drug that you took.

 

Sometimes if a member has been off a drug for a long time SA might suggest starting Prozac (which in your case was your last drug) or citalopram, which is a gentler sibling of Lexapro / escitalopram.

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
3 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

 

Q:  What was the reason you stopped Prozac?  Did you have any issues when taking it?

 

Generally it is better to reinstate the last drug that you took.

 

Sometimes if a member has been off a drug for a long time SA might suggest starting Prozac (which in your case was your last drug) or citalopram, which is a gentler sibling of Lexapro / escitalopram.

 

thankyou, i stopped taking it to see In fact so much of my deadness lack of interest in life was actually caused by the ad over 10 plus years 

I had no real issues on them they didn’t anti depress me but compared to this they were a god send lol

since I started AD I really went down hill and I wanted to see if some of that was caused by them… when I have a window (only had 2) I felt alive, I could feel it was surreal 

but so small amongst so much suffering 🙏

I truly can’t remember from 2012 to 2017 but I tried Zoloft , lexapro, cymbalta and pristiq

2017-Nov 2021 40mg Prozac 

fast taper Prozac for 6 weeks ended nov 2021 at docs orders

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