Larry1983: 7 months in WD after a fast taper

[ChessieCat]

The fact that you have had windows is a good sign that recovery is happening.  There may be very subtle recovering that you don't notice is happening.

 

Q:  How do you feel now compared to how you felt at your worse?

 

When we feel bad we tend to compare how we are with how we want to be or how we were at our best so we might not notice that we are actually recovering.  That can happen when we are sick.  Because we feel awful we don't realise that one of the other symptoms has improved.

[Larry1983]

18 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Q:  How do you feel now compared to how you felt at your worse?

 

When we feel bad we tend to compare how we are with how we want to be or how we were at our best so we might not notice that we are actually recovering.  That can happen when we are sick.  Because we feel awful we don't realise that one of the other symptoms has improved.

That’s a really interesting and valid paint you make. No doubt I feel worse than ever last couple weeks.

i will say that I have work stress (lack of work financial worries) that are causing me a lot of stress, worry low mood and that’s exacerbating it all I think… but even knowing this if I can’t change that situation right now and it stresses me out how can I go on feeling like this? People say avoid stress- I can’t I have my own business and all of a sudden things are slow 

I don’t know or believe or can see how healing is possible if you have stressors going on… then again doesn’t everyone have something happening 

2-3 weeks ago I could feel an aliveness very gently start up in my soul but then it all went back to bad if not worse than the last 8 months 

there are many days I feel like a very sick person almost disabled and wonder how can I endure this for x months years 😩

 

 

[ChessieCat]

One way that you can help with the stress is to do relaxation several times throughout the day.  It doesn't have take a lot of time.  Just a bit of "chill time".  It isn't going to stop the external stress from happening but it can help to reduce the impact of that stress on your body.

 

So instead of letting it build up, like steam in a kettle, you reduce it by a little bit each time you do some relaxation so that it doesn't build up to full pressure.

[Greatful]

@Larry1983

 

Why do you think it will take you 6 years to recover?  There are stories of members healing sooner even with  a cold turkey or fast taper.    Some have a hard time even in tapering.  How these drugs work and how they affect us is a individual experience.  

Try to think positive.  Yes some have a harder time than others  and some take longer than others.  Or you could look at it like this.....Some have a easier time and some have shorter recoveries.

Some can reinstate and other can't.   

This is a total guessing game in all aspects. 

The bottom line is this can be hard on anyone, tapering, adverse effects, drug poop out,  CT's, this whole experience can be a nightmare.  For most of us, when you in it there is no quick fix except time and patience. 

 

I so can relate to the pain, misery, panic and hopelessness that comes with this experience. There are many times the urge to try another drug is strong.  The questions....   how can I  feel better....How long will this take. 

I'm scared. 

 

Can you stop take a breath, really look at your options and research, look deep inside,  then make a goal/plan.  No one can make this decsion but you. I know it's not a easy one to make.  Whatever you decide  that's okay.

 

Have you read any success stories?  

 

I like to point out KenA's story  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/22768-☼-kena-8-months-in-withdrawal-after-ct/#comment-484027

 

Cocopuffz did a fast taper 3 months

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/23113-cocopuffz-11-years-on-paroxetine-its-nothing-but-a-bad-memory-now-i-am-now-free/

 

Side note.  sometimes when I lose focus I will go on you tube watch or listen to interviews on  mad in america, 

medicating Normal, interviews with Robert Whitaker, to name a few, to get that spark to fight on.

 

Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself🌞

[Larry1983]

8 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

 

Why do you think it will take you 6 years to recover?  There are stories of members healing sooner even with  a cold turkey or fast taper.    Some have a hard time even in tapering.  How these drugs work and how they affect us is a individual experience.  

Try to think positive.  Yes some have a harder time than others  and some take longer than others.  Or you could look at it like this.....Some have a easier time and some have shorter recoveries.

Some can reinstate and other can't.   

This is a total guessing game in all aspects. 

The bottom line is this can be hard on anyone, tapering, adverse effects, drug poop out,  CT's, this whole experience can be a nightmare.  For most of us, when you in it there is no quick fix except time and patience. 

 

I so can relate to the pain, misery, panic and hopelessness that comes with this experience. There are many times the urge to try another drug is strong.  The questions....   how can I  feel better....How long will this take. 

I'm scared. 

 

Can you stop take a breath, really look at your options and research, look deep inside,  then make a goal/plan.  No one can make this decsion but you. I know it's not a easy one to make.  Whatever you decide  that's okay.

 

 

 

Side note.  sometimes when I lose focus I will go on you tube watch or listen to interviews on  mad in america, 

medicating Normal, interviews with Robert Whitaker, to name a few, to get that spark to fight on.

 

Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself🌞

I will keep going 

how is it some people use AD and then get off and have no real comment either way 

for me and I hear for many others I have windows where I can feel? Feel alive amongst all the WD torture

do they just affect some people differently like they numb some and not others … I know many people never had that woke up feeling, they could never say getting off they felt more alive 

here I am mostly in waves then I get a window where I feel so different to how I did on AD, maybe they affected me negatively ?

 

[ChessieCat]

2 hours ago, Larry1983 said:

how is it some people use AD and then get off and have no real comment either way 

 

The effect of psychiatric drugs is cumulative . There are SA members who have been on/off drugs and up/down in dose multiple times with no issues, then one day they do the same thing that worked before and their nervous system cannot cope with it.

[Greatful]

@Larry1983

10 hours ago, Larry1983 said:

Feel alive amongst all the WD torture

do they just affect some people differently like they numb some and not others

This can be the million dollar question. I could ask how come I have, buzzing, burning/cold, numbing, tingling, crushing in, shrinking/drying up feelings on my brain.  Sometimes the buzzing will go from my brain throughout my body, seizing/tightening  my muscles in my arms and legs.  The point is all you have to do is look on the symptoms & care part of this forum and you will see numerous, crazy symptoms both physical and emotional.  The drugs affect the entire body, brain and all.  I guess it's the luck of the draw.  Some people have distressing physical symptoms and other will be a emotional and of course one can get both.😒

 

10 hours ago, Larry1983 said:

here I am mostly in waves then I get a window where I feel so different to how I did on AD, maybe they affected me negatively ?

 

Hold on to that thought.  The drugs affected you negatively.  The window are a light into what can be.☺️

 

Here is another story of someone with a fast taper 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14913-pug-your-miracle-is-coming-hang-on/

 

If you are looking for additional encouragement go Baylissa Frederick website https://mccare.org/

[Larry1983]

6 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

Hold on to that thought.  The drugs affected you negatively.  The window are a light into what can be.☺️

 

Here is another story of someone with a fast taper 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14913-pug-your-miracle-is-coming-hang-on/

 

If you are looking for additional encouragement go Baylissa Frederick website https://mccare.org/

Thanks so much, yeah I book with Baylissa once every 2/3 weeks 

like you, she says the windows are the future .. then I ask where does the fog/heaviness go lol? 
Im staying the course… my entire life on AD I’ve been kind of low it worries about something could they really create the suffering they are meant ti help with

 

 

 

[Greatful]

@Larry1983

I find myself asking the same question.  I was on drugs for so many years, and fought the lows and highs, brain fog to name a few.  I thought it was just me and that I needed the drugs.  When ever I would try to go off, WD hit with a bang and back on... Of course I didn't know it was WD.  

I am reading the book Your Drugs May Be Your Problem.  Wow that was a eye opener.  Now I sit and wonder if the drugs have caused my anger, negativity, up and down moods.  Crazy how I had underlying anxiety and restlessness while I was on it. 

 

Baylissa's book Recovery and Renewal has been helpful for me.   

 

 

 

[Larry1983]

4 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

I find myself asking the same question.  I was on drugs for so many years, and fought the lows and highs, brain fog to name a few.  I thought it was just me and that I needed the drugs.  When ever I would try to go off, WD hit with a bang and back on... Of course I didn't know it was WD.  

I am reading the book Your Drugs May Be Your Problem.  Wow that was a eye opener.  Now I sit and wonder if the drugs have caused my anger, negativity, up and down moods.  Crazy how I had underlying anxiety and restlessness while I was on it. 

 

Baylissa's book Recovery and Renewal has been helpful for me.   

 

 

 

Me too.. do you have that hindsight where you can say yeah I feel they did that “negative “ stuff for you yet?

like that new base line which is better than how you were on them 🤷‍♂️

[Larry1983]

On 6/14/2022 at 2:18 AM, getofflex said:

Yes, as long as you take care of yourself, and avoid things that can trigger a sensitized nervous system, then the windows will very gradually get longer and better, and the waves less severe and frequent.  That has been my experience.  Avoid things like alcohol, any mind altering substance, intense exercise, high stress and drama, making sudden big changes to your routine, and highly processed foods and excess sugar, salt, MSG, aspartame, and most especially, avoid going back to psychotropic drugs.  

I have stress going on that has started coincidently since I got of AD which is work and money related causing me a lot of depression and stress overwhelm.. how is it possible to heal and feel better of AD ( that’s the goal) if this situation is causing me a lot of grief 

I can’t avoid the stress I feel doomed- never a window when I have work issues - strange coincidence ? 
I wonder how much of this is really WD? Or is WD exacerbating everything I really don’t know 

24/7 negative racing thoughts, SI constantly … I often think it’s a mistake getting off them 

[ChessieCat]

Q:  What was the reason you started taking an AD in the first place?

[Larry1983]

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Q:  What was the reason you started taking an AD in the first place?

I was sad about a lady friend and in a bit of a rut … nothing like this, couldn’t say I had depression, I didn’t know depression until after I started them. it all went downhill after I started them

but I just blamed it on life and how I handle things badly etc etc as things were happening in life and I just thought this is my depression to my life circumstances 

which is what I sort of think now too

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Thank you for providing that information.  It sounds to me like it might be helpful if you see a counsellor and learn general life coping skills.  People who have never taken a psychiatric drug can go through periods when their mood is lower than usual or they have difficulty coping with extra stress in their life at times.  And sometimes life does get monotonous and hum drum and feel like we are in a rut.  That's just how life can be at times. 

 

Even though some of what you are experiencing might be caused/worsened by withdrawal I think that learning and using these skills might be helpful not just now to get through recovery but for your life in the future.  I learned CBT not long before I joined SA and found it helpful when going through my taper but I also learned new non drug coping skills whilst going through my taper that I have found helpful for other health issues that I have not related to WD.

 

The sad thing is that it would  have been helpful if I had learned them during my teens, instead of in my late 50s early 60s.

[Larry1983]

5 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 Even though some of what you are experiencing might be caused/worsened by withdrawal I think that learning and using these skills might be helpful not just now to get through recovery but for your life in the future.  I learned CBT not long before I joined SA and found it helpful when going through my taper but I also learned new non drug coping skills whilst going through my taper that I have found helpful for other health issues that I have not related to WD.

 

Thankyou yes I need to look at that, some people have suggested waiting until I’m more awake and alive in healing to get into therapy (less numb) 

the idea of healing and feeling better of the AD (to a point where I can say I am glad I got of them) seems so unfathomable right now it’s not a joke 

[ChessieCat]

I don't think you need to wait until later.  Just don't have any therapy that is stressful.  You don't even have to tell the counsellor that you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  Actually I personally think it would be better if you didn't tell them, at least until you get to know them better which might take a little while, because they may pigeon hole you.  Meaning:  form a fixed and often unfair idea of what someone is like.  Some members have said that their therapist thinks that what they are experiencing is all in their head, and one of them had physical symptoms! 

 

You would be seeing them to learn skills which many people who aren't taking/recovering from ADs need to learn.  But it's up to you.  One member said recently that they wouldn't want to see a therapist or counsellor who didn't know all about their issues, and of course that would be nice, but unfortunately it may be hard to find one who knows about ADWD and you don't want to have to keep going to different counsellors and repeat your story; that would be very stressful.

[Larry1983]

23 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

I don't think you need to wait until later.  Just don't have any therapy that is stressful.  You don't even have to tell the counsellor that you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  Actually I personally think it would be better if you didn't tell them, at least until you get to know them better which might take a little while, because they may pigeon hole you.  Meaning:  form a fixed and often unfair idea of what someone is like.  Some members have said that their therapist thinks that what they are experiencing is all in their head, and one of them had physical symptoms! 

 

You would be seeing them to learn skills which many people who aren't taking/recovering from ADs need to learn.  But it's up to you.  One member said recently that they wouldn't want to see a therapist or counsellor who didn't know all about their issues, and of course that would be nice, but unfortunately it may be hard to find one who knows about ADWD and you don't want to have to keep going to different counsellors and repeat your story; that would be very stressful.

Thankyou yea that makes sense.. I do have a fear of telling people they think your crazy especially after 8 months they just don’t believe it

i just looked at your website .. congratulations!! where it says you started to feel excitement as you lowered goodness I’d kill for that lol

and your an Aussie too !!🎉🎉

[Guest]

Hi, what symptoms do you have after 8 months?

[Greatful]

@Larry1983

Hang in there Larry.  Remember that you your emotions are going to be morphed right now. I know how crushing depression can feel like. I cycle through it,  It will lift and come back and lift again.  Have you noticed this?  It might not go away totally but it will ease up a bit. 

You will start to see more windows and brighter windows. 

I see a therapist and she is learning about Withdrawal and Adverse effect through me.  I am lucky, I've been seeing her for several years prior  to ADWD and we  have a long standing  relationship. Thank goodness she is open to ADWD.

Keep reaching out Larry.  Keep talking to Baylissa, do whatever you can to make it through each day. 

 

[Larry1983]

7 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Larry1983

Hang in there Larry.  Remember that you your emotions are going to be morphed right now. I know how crushing depression can feel like. I cycle through it,  It will lift and come back and lift again.  Have you noticed this?  It might not go away totally but it will ease up a bit. 

You will start to see more windows and brighter windows. 

I see a therapist and she is learning about Withdrawal and Adverse effect through me.  I am lucky, I've been seeing her for several years prior  to ADWD and we  have a long standing  relationship. Thank goodness she is open to ADWD.

Keep reaching out Larry.  Keep talking to Baylissa, do whatever you can to make it through each day. 

 

Thankyou ! I don’t see the depression changing much if anything morphing worse as situation with work and finances becomes more stressful . That’s the part I’m confused about if the situation causes such depression on top of WD depression which I agree is very very real.. sort of confused as to how to get out. My goal is that if I feel more alive off them I can challenge my life issue better as I have more motivation in a sense - that’s my hope?  But no windows when life is hitting me from a few angles that’s for sure