Doctorsrcrap: can't cry and frustrated

[Shep]

14 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I would like to know how people can distinguish between thier old anxiety problems and withdrawal anxiety.

How coukd you tell the difference? What's does it mean when someone says it feels chemical?

 

Chemical anxiety is like if you had ingested a gallon of coffee, but you hadn't had any coffee. It feels like your body is revved up, regardless whether you're having any negative thoughts or not. 

 

This may help:

 

Withdrawal or relapse? Or something else?

 

This is also a good post to read:

 

How do I know it's withdrawal and not relapse? 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I just feel in a state of panic most of the time. Can't really relax. I'm trying to accept it but it's horrible. It's been getting worse over the last week. I'm scared. 

[NardilTime]

Sounds like akathisia. It’s hell on earth and it feels like it will never go away but it will pass. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

So it's 3.5 months tomorrow since I quit. To be honest now I've hit this point ive decided the first 3 months were easier. 

I'm having terrible anxiety 24/7 with waves of panic several times a day. It Is awful. 

It kind of feels like what i took them for in the first place. 

That is annoying because I've done so much therapy I was hoping that the reason i went on them was over and I was feeling bad because of the tablets. 

I'm struggling to know whether it's still withdrawal or not and this is upsetting me. 

In everyone else's opinion what do you thibk? Does the **** normally hit the fan at 3 months? 

I dont want to be annoying as I know you guys work tirelessly here and quite frankly are angels doing a job you shouldn't have to be doing but i could really do with some expert knowledge and I cant get that from a doctor. 

I only have a few other bits wrong with me but to be honest they could be caused by the anxiety itself.

E.g. feeling sick, poor sleep, uoset stomach.

Random things I have noticed: old injury playing up more than usual. This starred when i stopped the tablets. Stopped for a bit and is back again. Another one is I stink. When I sweat it really smells. The only time I have noticed that before was wheb I took sertraline. It stopped when i stopped sertraline but that's happening at the moment. 

Still feeling really upset and I do cry occassionaly now but it still doesn't quite feel like a proper cry. 

Oh and tinnitus. Thst can be loud when im sitting in a quiet room.

And i sometimes get a crushing feeling on my chest.

So..... please as many inputs and opinions as possible. All welcome. 

Thank you

[Healingcontinues]

1 hour ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

Does the **** normally hit the fan at 3 months? 

The anxiety and panic that I had definitely got progressively worse one I had stopped everything. The first 1-2 months were easy compared to what I had afterwards. By month 4/5 I felt so awful I ran to my doctor to try other medications and it only made things worse.

 

HOWEVER, I am now a year off everything and the panic is totally gone and the anxiety is minuscule compared to what it was. It may take some time, but the advice given on here that symptoms get less and that we heal is definitely true. I just wanted to give you some hope as I have been exactly where you are. 

2 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

And i sometimes get a crushing feeling on my chest.

I know this so well too and know how awful it is. I’m sorry you are going through this, it’s so tough. But you will get better, it likely won’t be as soon as you would like, but it will not be like this forever.

Warm wishes and take care.

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Healingcontinues

Thanks for the reply. 

I get upset because everyone says you shouldn't cold turkey but i didnt know what I was doing and now I'm terrified that you can't recover from cold turkey. 

Some people on here make it sound like unless you taper you will be ill forever. This terrifies me 

[Healingcontinues]

I would try not to worry to much about that. There are so many people on here who found the website by luck or through their own research after not getting the correct tapering advice  from doctors/psychiatrists. Likewise there are a lot of people on here who cold turkeyed or did a very fast taper. Have you had a look at the success stories section yet? I always went back and read the story of @pug when I needed some hope. I also practically cold turkeyed and I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. You will get there too.

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Healingcontinues

So you can recover from CT? I was starting to think that it meant permenant damage. That there was no way back 

[Doctorsrcrap]

Any other takers?

Is pug still active?

[Shep]

13 hours ago, Healingcontinues said:

I always went back and read the story of @pug when I needed some hope.

 

10 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

Any other takers?

Is pug still active?

 

Here is Pug's success story:

 

pug Your miracle is coming, hang on!

[Doctorsrcrap]

@ShepYeah thsnk you I have read his success story. I was just wondering if he is around anymore 

[ChessieCat]

Pug last logged in:  November 14, 2020

[Doctorsrcrap]

What do you think to my situation cheesie cat?

[NardilTime]

I definitely got worse before I got better. No question. It was hell on earth from 3 to 8 months. Then I woke up one day and didn’t have a morning cortisol spike. It was a damn miracle. Then they kinda came back but not as bad. Etc etc. Now I’m still having all kinds of problems physically but the panic and overwhelming anxiety is pretty much gone. I’ll have moments when I exert myself too much but they are becoming more short lived. And when I was at your stage of recovery my mind was so screwed up and panicked that I convinced myself that all kinds of horrible things were inevitably going to happen despite there being NO proof that they would. You are now doing that with the cold turkey taper. There’s nothing to suggest that if you cold turkey you will be in withdrawal forever. The experience of others suggests that if you CT the initial symptoms will be much worse and you may suffer a little longer, but it appears that everyone recovers. Read the success stories. There’s no reason to believe that you won’t also be writing one some day. 
 

At a certain point in recovery I had to admit to myself that at the moment I wasn’t completely sane. I wasn’t thinking properly and I wasn’t coming to logical conclusions. When I would start to spiral and panic I would try to close my eyes and say “My thoughts are not real.”  Because they are not. You are going to heal if you stay off the drugs and give your body time. 

[Roserdl]

That's not true.  Baylissa Fredrick is my coach and she told me she has seen plenty of people recover cold turkey even from multiple meds.  She has talked to 1000s of clients.  She says everyone heals    And it doesn't mean you will have a longer time frame than someone who tapered .  She also said intensity doesn't equate to duration.  The biggest favor you can do now is staying steady.  Self care and and time.  One day at a time.  How you feel today predicts nothing.

[Doctorsrcrap]

This might sound a stupid question but can the withdrawal symptoms feel the same as the possible side effects you experienced whilst taking it esp when you first started taking a drug before it settled into your system? 

[Shep]

32 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

This might sound a stupid question but can the withdrawal symptoms feel the same as the possible side effects you experienced whilst taking it esp when you first started taking a drug before it settled into your system? 

 

Yes, there are many overlapping symptoms. Even weeks and months after coming off a drug, you can have fatigue, insomnia, irritability, GI issues, etc. just like you can have all of those as side effects while taking the drug. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I've had something happening since the tablets started switching but it's hard to explain it although it is happening more intense since I stopped them. 

It's like if i get up and go to do something i come over really anxious or a horrible feeling and all I want to do is sit back down and hope the feeling goes away. It's really odd but very annoying. 

[itiscomplicated]

8 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

It's like if i get up and go to do something i come over really anxious or a horrible feeling and all I want to do is sit back down and hope the feeling goes away. It's really odd but very annoying. 

 

I have this right now; pretty much attempting any task, often even thinking about doing it, brings on surges of anxiety, dizziness, irritability, dread.

[NardilTime]

Sounds like inner akathisia. I had it. It went away. But it’s the worst. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Altostrata can I ask you a question please? 

 

My understanding of emotional blunting is when someone doesn't really feel anything but that's not what i experience.

 

I feel overwhelmingly upset so i can feel the emotion but i cant let it ie crying so don't get relief. Which is very frustrating. Is that experience still a form of emotional blunting? Or what is it? 

[Altostrata]

If this started during your taper, it is a withdrawal effect. See 

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Altostrata

It started whilst taking the tablets generally. 

The feeling has jist got worse now I'm off. 

Internally restless too. 

I wake up really early every morning and have to get up because of the adrenaline. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Altostrata

I'm having terrible anxiety 24/7 with waves of panic several times a day. It Is awful. 

It kind of feels like what i took them for in the first place. 

That is annoying because I've done so much therapy I was hoping that the reason i went on them was over and I was feeling bad because of the tablets. 

I'm struggling to know whether it's still withdrawal or not and this is upsetting me. 

In everyone else's opinion what do you thibk? Does the **** normally hit the fan at 3 months? 

I dont want to be annoying as I know you guys work tirelessly here and quite frankly are angels doing a job you shouldn't have to be doing but i could really do with some expert knowledge and I cant get that from a doctor. 

I only have a few other bits wrong with me but to be honest they could be caused by the anxiety itself.

E.g. feeling sick, poor sleep, uoset stomach.

Random things I have noticed: old injury playing up more than usual. This starred when i stopped the tablets. Stopped for a bit and is back again. Another one is I stink. When I sweat it really smells. The only time I have noticed that before was wheb I took sertraline. It stopped when i stopped sertraline but that's happening at the moment. 

Still feeling really upset and I do cry occassionaly now but it still doesn't quite feel like a proper cry. 

Oh and tinnitus. Thst can be loud when im sitting in a quiet room.

And i sometimes get a crushing feeling on my chest.

So..... please as many inputs and opinions as possible. All welcome. 

Thank you

 

Edited November 2, 2022 by ChessieCat
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[Doctorsrcrap]

I thought things were supposed to get better. Not worse 

[Shep]

56 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I thought things were supposed to get better. Not worse 

 

No, recovery runs in a windows and waves pattern.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Over time it gets better, but the pattern of recovery is up and down, with gradual improvements getting larger and setbacks getting smaller over a long period of time. 

 

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery  video (4 minutes)

 

 

On 9/10/2022 at 4:21 AM, Doctorsrcrap said:

Update on symptoms:

. Random heart palpatations 

. Tight chest and back

. Headaches 

. Minor brain zaps

. Occasional dizziness 

. Random anger attacks 

. Random panic 

. Feel upset 24/7

. Feel worn out easily 

 

 

Some of your symptoms may also be side effects of propranalol. Scroll down this page for a list of this drug's side effects:

 

Propranolol information

 

Are you taking this drug for a heart condition or any other medical condition not related to psychiatric use or to help with withdrawal? 

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Shep

I was given it for anxiety back in 2015.

 

I'm having therapy but see no improvements which is disheartening because it makes me think i cant get better. Or is the anxiety withdrawal and that's why i have no benefit.

 

What do you suggest I do about the propranalol?

 

I dont have waves and windows I just seem to get progressively worse

[Shep]

1 minute ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

What do you suggest I do about the propranalol?

 

I dont have waves and windows I just seem to get progressively worse

 

Since you're destabilized, I would hold the propranalol steady until you're ready to taper it. You may want to read through this thread to learn more about this drug:

 

Tips for tapering off propranolol

 

But I wouldn't start tapering it until your nervous system is able to handle another withdrawal. 

 

6 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I was given it for anxiety back in 2015.

 

You may want to try mindfulness, yoga, breathing exercises, gentle walks in nature, etc. 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Shep

Believe me I have done all those things over and over again.

I'm uoset because I cant decide if the anxiety is from the tablets or if im just broken 

[Shep]

24 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

@Shep

Believe me I have done all those things over and over again.

I'm uoset because I cant decide if the anxiety is from the tablets or if im just broken 

 

You're not broken. No one who joins this site, practices non-drug coping skills, and gets off these drugs is broken. You're just on the path to recovery. 

 

The anxiety from the rapid taper you did is going to cause your nervous system to be upset for probably a long time. It's very hard to see how the non-drug coping techniques are helping you when you're still in the acute phase of withdrawal, but anytime you do non-drug coping techniques, you're telling your nervous system that everything is going to be okay.

 

Doesn't it feel good to hear "Everything is going to be okay"? Tell that to your nervous system as much and as often as possible. Relax into it as a mantra. Allow yourself to float and breathe through the symptoms. 

 

Try this:

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

Drink plenty of clean water, eat healthy, listen to guided meditations, play video games and watch favorite TV or internet shows as a distraction. Go for a walk in nature. Encourage other members on the site. 

 

All of these things will provide your nervous system with what it needs. All of these will prevent you from descending into learned helplessness. 

 

Don't expect instant results or even results within a few weeks. Think long-term. Think over the months.  But once you do heal from all of this, your skillset for handling stress will be unbreakable. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Shep

Thank you

I'm scared i have made a massive mistake and I'm doubting all my choices.

Scared because I hear all the time about how CT is dangerous.

I dont really have any physical symptoms which jusy makes me think sometimes it's not withdrawal at all.

I'm all over the place

[Shep]

15 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

Scared because I hear all the time about how CT is dangerous.

I dont really have any physical symptoms which jusy makes me think sometimes it's not withdrawal at all.

 

I did a rapid taper and cold turkey off of 6 drugs after being on psychiatric drugs for 30 years. You can see my success story (it's linked in my signature). 

 

I didn't have many physical symptoms, either. Lots of DP/DR, short-term memory loss, and visuals and some voices. That doesn't mean it wasn't withdrawal. Not everyone has physical symptoms. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Shepyour story is truly amazing. It's hard to believe there is nothing wrong with you when you keep being labelled.

It's so upsetting that the thing I hate is the symptom ive got....so cruel. 

Why is it the thing you were taking the tablets for is the thing you suffer with when coming off?

[itiscomplicated]

12 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I'm uoset because I cant decide if the anxiety is from the tablets or if im just broken 

 

I had truly horrible anxiety several months after stopping CT. It's still horrible, but it was so, so much worse then.

[ChessieCat]

I've moved your topic to an existing topic:

 

chest-pain-and-stabbing-pain-in-the-heart

 

There is another topic here that you might look at:

 

muscle-and-joint-stiffness-aches-pain-or-weakness

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I posted that ages ago