OffPills Posted February 15, 2023 Posted February 15, 2023 (edited) Hello members of this helpful forum. I’m a 44 year old male, and altough struggling to get of ssri’s for a long time, I’ve only found this forum recently. I’ve been reading here a lot the last few days and recognize so much. I will try to introduce myself without to much spelling errors, English is not my native language and I hate making mistakes but I’ll try. when about 19 years old I was prescribed propanolol due to anxiety. After a few years I was switched to Seroxat, I dont know the dosages anymore. Medication along with CBT didn’t help very much and depression came along. A new therapist recommended to take Citalopram because of my (social) anxiety. 40mg at first, and I remember it helped me better than the Seroxat. But on Citalopram I did notice the decline of my sexuality, but it didn’t bother me at the time being single, and I was told this was not permanent. After some time I went to a dose of 60mg and felt like superman. But I had much more side effects like rapid heartbeat, sweating and my sexuality was non existent so went back to 40mg. At about 29 years old I hated the sexual side effects so much I felt like being in a mental prison and wanted to quit. Therapist told me I could quit Cold turkey no problem. Withdrawal was hell on earth and after a few months (without sexual improvement) I reinstated 40mg. Later in time I tried tapering, but in retrospect this was way to quick (40-20-10-0) and after a few months I reinstated again to 40mg. After a lot of stress and anxiety my therapist suggested 60mg again, which I did. Again the same side effects kicked in but I felt like superman again. In retrospect the high dosage triggered hypomania. But my incompetent therapist put ‘bipolar’ in my medical file, not linking it to the high dose he prescribed me. I went back to 40mg and tried to taper (to quick) again. After a few months withdrawal kicked in and I saw no other option than to to reinstate. After a few years on 40mg and still completely impotent I read an article in a digital newspaper about PSSD, I think it was 2014. This was an eye opener for me. I found the PSSD-forum (never posted there) and tried various supplements trying to improve my PSSD, altough of course still on 40mg Citalopram but nothing helped. My conclusion was that the only way to get my sexuality back was to quit the ssri and this became my number one goal in life. I started breaking tablets and taking every other day to about 20mg. After this I started using tapering strips to a dosage of 12mg. I felt that even with tapering strips, tapering went to quick and I wanted to be able to stay longer at a certain dose so I switched to oral drops. The first of februari this year I did the last taper, from 4 to 3 drops. So I went from 8mg to 6mg. Way more than the advisable 10%. WD symptoms are worse than before but I’m managing. Being unemployed gives me the ability to sleep a lot, which helps. I’m waiting until WD symptoms stabilize again before tapering any further. Was planning to mix the oral solution with ethanol so one drop would equal 1mg but read some useful info on this forum about using a syringe. So I’m planning to taper further from 6mg to 5mg using a syringe. although PSSD is my main motivation to quit the ssri there is not much improvement so far. But I try to stay positive and there are some positives I should mention. Some side effects while being on 40/60mg are diminished. I no longer have a dry mouth and the extreme sweating is almost gone. In wintertime I always had acne around my mouth and nose, this is gone too, along with severe dandruff. On 40/60mg I also gained weight easily, but losing it was hardly impossible. The last months due to less apitite as an WD symtom I’m losing weight again. WD syptoms I experience are; fatigue, sensatitions in my head, easily irritated, sensitive to noise and light, CPPS, loss of intelligence/creativity/vocabulary, loss of appetite, anhedonia. Edited October 20, 2023 by Karma Name update
Moderator Frogie Posted February 16, 2023 Moderator Posted February 16, 2023 @OffPills Welcome to SA. We are a volunteer ran site helping people taper off psychiatric medications or have tapered off and are now healing. This is your introduction page where you will receive information, ask questions and meet other members. We ask that you only have one introduction page so we can keep all your information in one place. Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work. This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications: How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds. Please read the link about stability: Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. Unfortunately most dr's know very little about these drugs and the implications they cause by not tapering properly. I'm going to provide you with some links that you will find useful in your tapering. At this point, I would hold for a while until you feel "WD Normal", then resume the tapering. Also, please be careful with the lorazapam as your body can become addicted to it in about 2 weeks. Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist Tips for tapering off citalopram (Celexa) Stabilising After a Reduction - What Does That Mean? Withdrawal Normal Description Waves and Windows in SSRI Withdrawal Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD) SSRIsex group for post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD) We don't suggest a lot of supplements on here as they can be stimulating to the central nervous system (CNS), except 2. If you would like to try one, try a small amount and wait a few days before introducing the other. Magnesium Omega 3 Fish Oil After you have read the links provided, please reach out with any questions you may have. PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. Last dose June 24, 2024 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.
OffPills Posted February 17, 2023 Author Posted February 17, 2023 Hello Frogie, Thank you for welcoming me to this wonderful site, I’m glad I found it. I agree with you on waiting to be WD-normal before tapering any further. Last few days made me realize my last drop was way too big. When tapering from 10 to 8mg it took me almost 3 months to recover and feel confident enough for the next step. I hope this wave will end soon, and when resuming I will stick to the 10% protocol. I’m also considering the Brassmonkey-taper I’ve read about today. I appreciate you warning me about Lorazepam being highly addictive. The dangers of benzodiazepines made me very reluctant to take them in the past. However, during this taper Lorazepam has been very helpful to me. I’m very cautious, only take it during waves with a maximum of 2 times a week and never 2 days in a row. In my first post I forgot to mention 2 positive developments during this taper. My hands are no longer trembling. And although my anhedonia is not improving overall, after tapering from 10 to 8mg when WD symptoms started stabilizing I could enjoy music again. Even getting goose bumps!
Moderator Frogie Posted February 17, 2023 Moderator Posted February 17, 2023 (edited) @OffPills I'm glad you found the links useful. The Brassmonkey Slide is calming to the CNS (Central nervous system) and members do quite well with it. You might consider it as you read more about it. The Lorazapam on the other hand, your body can become addicted to it in a couple of weeks even taking it only 1-2 times a week. Just be aware that you may need to taper off of it in the future. It sounds like you are doing relatively well and some of your symptoms have resolved. That is great you can listen to music again! We are here if you have any other questions! Take care! Edited October 20, 2023 by Karma Name update PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. Last dose June 24, 2024 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.
OffPills Posted February 17, 2023 Author Posted February 17, 2023 Hi Frogie, Thanks for your reply, I’m unfortunately not doing relatively well, I think I gave the wrong impression by pointing the positives out. I’m forcing myself to see the whole picture, not dwelling on the negative aspects. Today I took a Lorazepam for the anxiety and highly irritableness because I needed groceries. For the first time it was not enough to get me out of the house because of these WD symptoms caused by the last big reduction. I appreciate your caution about Lorazepam. But how I use it, I’m not getting addicted. 2 times a week is highly exceptional. And I would not repeat this the week after. During this taper I was using it once a week for doing groceries, but only needed it the first few weeks after a reduction of Citalopram. So, as an example; the taper from 10 to 8mg lasted about 3 months, the first 3 weeks due to WD I took one tablet a week for doing groceries. After stabilizing a bit, the last 8 weeks without Lorazepam. thanks for your concerns!
OffPills Posted February 19, 2023 Author Posted February 19, 2023 Last few days WD symptoms are getting worse. Anhedonia, brain fog, easily irritated, night sweats (never had this symptom this taper) and crying spells. Reading on this site brings tears in my eyes easily, seeing the compassion of the moderators and members towards each other is something special. Instead of taking all my supplements during dinner, I now take the vitamin D and 200mg of magnesium in the morning, instead of 400mg during dinner. So now 200mg in the morning and 200mg during dinner. Hoping to reduce the sensation in my brain late at night (not the brain zaps, but the feeling of driving over a bump at high speed). Seems better now but not sure. On top of the anhedonia, which bothers me the most since starting this taper a few years ago, I’m also starting to feel depressed. When reducing my dose on the first of February to 6mg, I was so optimistic. I thought to myself; “6mg!!! Thats almost nothing!!” I felt so proud of myself and could see the finish line. I was hoping to be drug-free this summer and could allow my body to heal further and begin a new chapter of my life. Reading on this website made me realize this is not very realistic. I find this hard to swallow at the moment, being in this wave doesn’t help off course. 1
N2deep Posted March 5, 2024 Posted March 5, 2024 How are you feeling lately, OffPills? ... have the withdrawals lessened since your last update? Olanzapine (5mg) started June 2023 - This is the only drug I'm currently taking, haven't used any other psych drugs. After 4 weeks dropped to 2.5mg for 5 days then dropped to 1.25mg for 3 days, withdrawals commenced. I then took a single dose of 3.75mg, then went to 2.5mg since July 19. Sept 28 2023: -2.5% Oct 5: -2.5% Oct 12: -2.5% Oct 19: -5% Oct 29: -5% Nov 10: -5% 2.0mg Nov 20: -5% 1.9mg Nov 30: -5% 1.8mg Dec 12: 1.75mg Dec 22: 1.70mg Dec 29: 1.65mg Jan 06/24: 1.60mg Jan 14: 1.55mg Jan 25: 1.50mg Feb 12: Updose to 1.55mg Apr 25: 1.50mg May 22: 1.45mg Jun 5: 1.40mg Jun 25: 1.35mg Jul 24: 1.30mg Aug 7: 1.25mg Aug 21: 1.20mg Sept 4: 1.15mg Sept 18: 1.10mg Oct 02: 1.05mg Oct 18: 1mg Nov 1: 0.95mg Nov 15: 0.90mg Nov 29: 0.85mg Dec 18: 0.80mg Jan 17: 0.75mg
OffPills Posted March 6, 2024 Author Posted March 6, 2024 Hi @N2deep, Thanks for asking. I saw your post a bit late because I unfollowed my own topic, because I wasn’t planning to update.🙂 After my last drop I stabilized a bit and decided to hold for a few months and try to enjoy the summer after the horrible years of tapering and isolating. Not the best summer of my life, but at least the nasty withdrawal symptoms were less severe. This year, on January 6th I went on with the taper. Weird enough It was almost like I forgot about the horrible past years, and that I needed to take it slow. I took a relative big jump from 6mg to 4mg. After about 2 weeks the ‘windows and waves’ started again, with wd symptoms like agitation, anger, anxiety etc. Last week or so I think I’m starting to stabilize, and I’m only agitated a bit faster than I’d like. I quit smoking (again) on January 1, and started resistance training after a long time. I feel the daily training helps a lot. I’m thinking about a next step in a few weeks, like dropping to 3mg. I know it’s more than the recommended 10%, but there’s a lot of willpower to quit the citalopram completely and try to get on with life and let my body and mind recover. Thanks for checking up on me!
N2deep Posted March 6, 2024 Posted March 6, 2024 I'm glad you're feeling better. I personally think willpower is what is needed to go safely and slowly. The reason to go slow is to not end up in a crisis situation and remedicated on a higher dose or more meds. Slower is faster. You're almost there. Just my opinion of course. Wish you the best. Olanzapine (5mg) started June 2023 - This is the only drug I'm currently taking, haven't used any other psych drugs. After 4 weeks dropped to 2.5mg for 5 days then dropped to 1.25mg for 3 days, withdrawals commenced. I then took a single dose of 3.75mg, then went to 2.5mg since July 19. Sept 28 2023: -2.5% Oct 5: -2.5% Oct 12: -2.5% Oct 19: -5% Oct 29: -5% Nov 10: -5% 2.0mg Nov 20: -5% 1.9mg Nov 30: -5% 1.8mg Dec 12: 1.75mg Dec 22: 1.70mg Dec 29: 1.65mg Jan 06/24: 1.60mg Jan 14: 1.55mg Jan 25: 1.50mg Feb 12: Updose to 1.55mg Apr 25: 1.50mg May 22: 1.45mg Jun 5: 1.40mg Jun 25: 1.35mg Jul 24: 1.30mg Aug 7: 1.25mg Aug 21: 1.20mg Sept 4: 1.15mg Sept 18: 1.10mg Oct 02: 1.05mg Oct 18: 1mg Nov 1: 0.95mg Nov 15: 0.90mg Nov 29: 0.85mg Dec 18: 0.80mg Jan 17: 0.75mg
OffPills Posted March 6, 2024 Author Posted March 6, 2024 Thank you for your kind words @N2deep, much appreciated! I understand your thoughts about willpower and I agree. I have the willpower to taper slow, or in a slightly faster way and combat these horrible wd symptoms. I just want to get of these meds so bad, that I take some risk with the (relatively) big jumps, with in the back of my mind, that I can always go back in dose. Thanks!
N2deep Posted March 6, 2024 Posted March 6, 2024 I just tried updosing and it didn't really work. Olanzapine (5mg) started June 2023 - This is the only drug I'm currently taking, haven't used any other psych drugs. After 4 weeks dropped to 2.5mg for 5 days then dropped to 1.25mg for 3 days, withdrawals commenced. I then took a single dose of 3.75mg, then went to 2.5mg since July 19. Sept 28 2023: -2.5% Oct 5: -2.5% Oct 12: -2.5% Oct 19: -5% Oct 29: -5% Nov 10: -5% 2.0mg Nov 20: -5% 1.9mg Nov 30: -5% 1.8mg Dec 12: 1.75mg Dec 22: 1.70mg Dec 29: 1.65mg Jan 06/24: 1.60mg Jan 14: 1.55mg Jan 25: 1.50mg Feb 12: Updose to 1.55mg Apr 25: 1.50mg May 22: 1.45mg Jun 5: 1.40mg Jun 25: 1.35mg Jul 24: 1.30mg Aug 7: 1.25mg Aug 21: 1.20mg Sept 4: 1.15mg Sept 18: 1.10mg Oct 02: 1.05mg Oct 18: 1mg Nov 1: 0.95mg Nov 15: 0.90mg Nov 29: 0.85mg Dec 18: 0.80mg Jan 17: 0.75mg
OffPills Posted March 6, 2024 Author Posted March 6, 2024 Thanks for the heads-up! The 33% drop last time was definitely a bit too much and will never happen again.👍🏻
OffPills Posted March 8, 2024 Author Posted March 8, 2024 *Just some notes for myself: 2024 January 6: citalopram reduction from 6mg to 4mg (from 3 to 2 oral droplets). Daily supplements: -Omega 3 fish oil -Curcumin C3 -Vitamin C -Vitamin D -Calcium -Iron -Zinc -Magnesium citrate -Collagen capsule -Collagen powder -Inositol (1 scoop) -Whey Isolate (max 3 scoops)
OffPills Posted March 10, 2024 Author Posted March 10, 2024 After tapering from 8 to 6mg, I started to develop a highly inflamed esophagus due to acid reflux. This is bothering me for about 6 months now. After the specialist at the hospital prescribed me a proton-pump inhibitor I developed serious gut-issue’s. Because of my sensitivity to medication like this PPI I had to stop taking them immediately. My gut flora took 2 month’s to recover. This acid reflux and inflamed esophagus is driving me nuts! I’m doing everything I can, like eating small meals of healthy food, drinking less coffee and carbonated drinks and I even quit smoking. Before bed symptoms worsen and a capsule of licorice root with very strong camomile tea sometimes help, but only temporarily. Tips are very much appreciated!
N2deep Posted March 12, 2024 Posted March 12, 2024 Hmmm ... that sucks about the acid reflux. I've never had that but I had some weird gut issues about a decade back, and I started taking slippery elm and it really seemed to help. I googled Slippery Elm + acid reflux and stuff comes up so if you haven't tried it maybe give it a shot. It creates a coating when you take it so I don't know about how it may affect drug absorption ... maybe it doesn't matter depending on when you take your drug, or maybe it doesn't matter at all. Olanzapine (5mg) started June 2023 - This is the only drug I'm currently taking, haven't used any other psych drugs. After 4 weeks dropped to 2.5mg for 5 days then dropped to 1.25mg for 3 days, withdrawals commenced. I then took a single dose of 3.75mg, then went to 2.5mg since July 19. Sept 28 2023: -2.5% Oct 5: -2.5% Oct 12: -2.5% Oct 19: -5% Oct 29: -5% Nov 10: -5% 2.0mg Nov 20: -5% 1.9mg Nov 30: -5% 1.8mg Dec 12: 1.75mg Dec 22: 1.70mg Dec 29: 1.65mg Jan 06/24: 1.60mg Jan 14: 1.55mg Jan 25: 1.50mg Feb 12: Updose to 1.55mg Apr 25: 1.50mg May 22: 1.45mg Jun 5: 1.40mg Jun 25: 1.35mg Jul 24: 1.30mg Aug 7: 1.25mg Aug 21: 1.20mg Sept 4: 1.15mg Sept 18: 1.10mg Oct 02: 1.05mg Oct 18: 1mg Nov 1: 0.95mg Nov 15: 0.90mg Nov 29: 0.85mg Dec 18: 0.80mg Jan 17: 0.75mg
N2deep Posted July 1, 2024 Posted July 1, 2024 How's it going, @OffPills? Olanzapine (5mg) started June 2023 - This is the only drug I'm currently taking, haven't used any other psych drugs. After 4 weeks dropped to 2.5mg for 5 days then dropped to 1.25mg for 3 days, withdrawals commenced. I then took a single dose of 3.75mg, then went to 2.5mg since July 19. Sept 28 2023: -2.5% Oct 5: -2.5% Oct 12: -2.5% Oct 19: -5% Oct 29: -5% Nov 10: -5% 2.0mg Nov 20: -5% 1.9mg Nov 30: -5% 1.8mg Dec 12: 1.75mg Dec 22: 1.70mg Dec 29: 1.65mg Jan 06/24: 1.60mg Jan 14: 1.55mg Jan 25: 1.50mg Feb 12: Updose to 1.55mg Apr 25: 1.50mg May 22: 1.45mg Jun 5: 1.40mg Jun 25: 1.35mg Jul 24: 1.30mg Aug 7: 1.25mg Aug 21: 1.20mg Sept 4: 1.15mg Sept 18: 1.10mg Oct 02: 1.05mg Oct 18: 1mg Nov 1: 0.95mg Nov 15: 0.90mg Nov 29: 0.85mg Dec 18: 0.80mg Jan 17: 0.75mg
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