Brenmos: Citalopram 20mg, withdrawal, Trazodone

[Brenmos]

I’m sorry to hear that. How long has that been going on?

[LostInCanada]

Thanks @Brenmos. I haven't slept well for about 7 years struggling to fall asleep. But since cold turkey (August '22) I can fall asleep, just can't stay asleep. The shakes are since CT but they have lessened and some days I don't have any. With these microtapers they seem to come back. I have had a handful of nights where I got a 3-4 hour stretch so I have hope.👍

[Brenmos]

So you CT and then reinstated? I can’t find your introduction 😝.

[LostInCanada]

@Brenmos just search LostinCanada... that's how I find it. I see some people start following themselves but I have no clue how to do that lolol. Yes, CT and a reinstatement 3 months after. I just kept thinking it was withdrawal and it would pass. Unfortunately I found this site after the CT and they weren't taking more members so I reinstated at 5 mg which was probably high. Just thankful for this site. My doc had no clue. He just asked for the link to the Panorama BBC program thankfully.

[Brenmos]

How long ago did you reinstate?

 

I’ve been thinking of reinstating a very small dose like 0.5 mg of citalopram. But I had so many side effects during the 5 weeks I was on it. It’s also been 6 months since I stopped it cold turkey.

[LostInCanada]

I reinstated November 28, 2022. I don't think adding anything to the paxil and Trazodone is a good idea. They are all SSRIS and it will just be one more drug to taper. Also mixing them can lead to serotonin toxicity. If you had a bad reaction to citalopram before, it will probably be worse now. You also risk kindling. It is so hard being patient and seemingly doing nothing but you are healing. Time is our friend.

[Brenmos]

I greatly appreciate you talking to me on my Introduction ❤️. I’m like “where is everyone else” 😕?

 

That’s what I was thinking along with my spouse, the whole 5 weeks seemed like a bad reaction. But every so often I get the idea to reinstate.

[LostInCanada]

@Brenmos I think alot on here are so deep in their own withdrawal that they struggle just to keep their head above water. I know so many of the mentors and moderators are dealing with severe health issues along with their own tapering and withdrawals. Glad we are both here for each other. I do a search for paxil and will comment/follow ones dealing with a similar situation to me. I find it helps alot.

How would you rate your withdrawal now compared to when you first joined? It wouldn't surprise me if you are feeling WD for both drugs but hopefully you have seen some improvement.

[Brenmos]

I’ve seen you commenting on others Introductions before you started commenting on mine. I know we all greatly appreciate the conversation.

 

I feel like I have made improvements. My number one symptom has been insomnia. I lost the ability to take naps and can’t sleep without taking trazodone. I also don’t feel fatigued or drowsy like I use to prior to stopping citalopram. 

[LostInCanada]

That sounds promising. Once you stabilize and figure out your withdrawal normal, Paxil will probably be the first drug to taper. Sleep is so important, would love to get me some. 👍 Have you been trying any CBT? I have found Claire Weekes’ book “Hope and Help for Your Nerves” beneficial. Bits are outdated but the overall concepts are spot on.

[Brenmos]

Yeah, unfortunately it can take years to stabilize 😩.

I haven’t tried CBT yet. I’ve seen her name but am not familiar with the book. 

[LostInCanada]

Are you planning on cutting pills or is liquid paxil available and affordable where you are? In Canada we only have pills.

[Brenmos]

We have liquid Paxil.

 

My marriage is at stake because of this. Are you able to work?

[LostInCanada]

I am not able to work. My doctor got me on disability. He realizes these drugs are not understood by the medical community. My husband has been really amazing thankfully. I know it is hard on him as well. The damage is so far reaching. 

 

[Brenmos]

I’m so sorry. I’m considering disability as well. My spouse is tired of having to provide for both of us and not being home much. Having no life outside of work.

 

I need to figure out how I can provide a little bit for us. I was the breadwinner and was happy to provide.

[LostInCanada]

I am sorry to hear you are both struggling. We have had to simplify our lifestyle for sure. I am so easily overstimulated that going out for dinner is a no go. Plus I am so careful now as to what I eat, no msg, no caffeine, no refined sugar. We enjoyed restaurants and cafes alot. Travel is non existent as well. Just keeping a simple routine is so important at the moment. Are you able to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry to lessen your wife's load. I daily make it a practice to express gratitude to my hubby as well. We are able to go for daily walks which is good for us both. Disability for us was a huge relief though I admit a hard pill to swallow. No one wants to be in this situation but it is there for a reason. 

Not an ideal situation or solution but it could always be worse so acceptance and gratitude can help. 

[Brenmos]

Yeah I’m able to do the laundry and clean. I hate cooking but I’ll learn how to now 😆. I’m happy to hear that disablity has provided a source of income for both of you. How long into your journey did you get on disability?

[LostInCanada]

I applied at the 6 month point and it took 4 months to get on permanently. I recommend not hesitating to apply. I just kept thinking I would get better sooner. But it is there for a reason. 

Time to get out some cookbooks lol.

[Brenmos]

Haha yeah. Some easy recipes to start off with. 
 

How’s it been going?

[LostInCanada]

Been a weird day. Little Mix of anxiety, dizziness and just feeling off. How about you? 

[Brenmos]

Yesterday and today has been a good day. A window? I still have trouble telling what my windows and waves are lol.

[LostInCanada]

Glad you had a couple good days... it's a window if it doesn't last. It's withdrawal normal if that is what most days look like. I think I am in a wave again. I never know if it's a wave or the drop in dose lol.

[Brenmos]

Oh yeah, I meant to say I don’t exactly know what my withdrawal normal is. I avoid chocolate, caffeine and alcohol. I can pretty much eat and drink anything. Except honey roasted cashews disturb my sleep more than it is if I eat them.

 

how much longer do you have on your taper?

 

 

 

 

 

[LostInCanada]

I honestly think my CNS is so sensitive that it is going to take me over 5 years. I am trying not to think to far ahead though. Maybe at some point I will be able to do more than micro tapers. I've been on this drug over 20 years so it's no surprise. Thankfully you haven't been on it very long.

[Brenmos]

Ugh! Here’s to a easier taper ❤️

[LostInCanada]

Hope things are getting a bit better. Do you keep a symptom journal? I did a spreadsheet with symptoms and each day I rate them 1-10.

[Brenmos]

Hey, I seem to be sleeping better and my libido has been coming back. I don’t have a symptom journal. I was writing in one in the beginning of this and got lazy lol. 

[LostInCanada]

Glad to hear you are having some improvement. This is a great step in the right direction. 💯

[Brenmos]

I didn't really sleep that well last night. It’s might be the prune juice I drank yesterday( I haven’t consumed that since before withdrawals) a new brand of fish oil or that I’m starting a part time job at McDonald’s next week lol. 

[LostInCanada]

Might be a combo of all of the above. Deep breaths. You are safe and going to be okay. I am proud of you rolling with the punches. This definitely isn't easy. 

[Brenmos]

I’m not taking the fish oil today. Thank you I really appreciate that. How have you been doing?

[LostInCanada]

I am going to drop tomorrow 4.77 mg to 4.56 mg. Hoping for minimal issues. I am just so sensitive. Trying not to stress but my daughter just had a mass found on her bowel so now we wait for the biopsy results. Hoping I don't get sent into a wave.

[Brenmos]

Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that. Hoping it’s benign and you don’t get thrown into a wave.

[Brenmos]

Last night body aches, headaches and chills hit me out of nowhere. I also didn’t sleep well. It felt like I was waking up every half hour.

[LostInCanada]

What time did the chills start? I never know if it's chills or just shakes. Mine start anywhere from 3am-7am. I figure it's adrenaline and the cortisol rush. 

Yours sounds almost like a flu or cold bug though all symptoms can be withdrawal. Just take it easy and maybe an epsom salt bath might help.

[Brenmos]

It started around 10:00 PM. Yeah I got pretty restless sleep last night. I’ve been getting sharp pains on the side of my head.