Muckymind: Antipsychotics anhedonia

[Muckymind]

Hi everyone I’m glad I found this forum as I really need some advice I am struggling a hell of a lot.

 

it all started when I had a psychotic episode around 10 months ago , I was hospitalised and given a clopixol depot injection and quickly my psychotic symptoms diminished , however I began to feel extremely blank and dull with no emotions I lost all joy in life and stopped doing all the things I used to enjoy , I feel completely dead inside to this day even though I have been off the clopixol for 4 months so I was on it for 6 months in total , every day is the same thing for me I get up have a cigarette, make a cup of tea and sit on my couch all day watching tv even though I don’t enjoy it , I don’t feel hungry or thirsty but I eat a cheese toastie for lunch and whatever my mum cooks for dinner , I watch a bit more tv until around 8 pm then I go to bed and get a disturbed sleep , I wake up throughout the night and get up at 8 am , I then repeat this process every day without exception , I never leave the house. 
 

im really scared that the AP has done permanent damage to my brain and that this is it for the rest of my life , if this is the case I will not be able to continue living as it is a living hell. 
 

any survivors please let me know what you think , many thanks , 

mucky 

[Carmie]

Welcome @Muckymind I’m sorry to hear that you’re suffering so badly from anhedonia. I’ve had it extremely bad at certain times too, a lot of people on this site have. Individuals have recovered from it as well. If you go to the Symptoms and Self-Care section you’ll see a thread entitled: “ Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anaesthesia.” It’s a really common symptom. You can also put in anhedonia into the search engine above and you’ll come across other people’s threads who have also dealt with or are dealing with this symptom. 
 

Could you please first of all put in your drug signature. Just go to the top of the Introductions and Updates page, you’ll see a thread there entitled: “Please start a topic about yourself in this forum.” In the first paragraph you’ll see a link that shows you how to do your signature. Thank you. 
 

Also, feel free to pop over to different people’s threads for a chat and an interchange of encouragement. 
 

If you’re not taking it already, a number of folk on here find magnesium and fish oil benefits them a little. If you would like to take some just start with a small amount of one and slowly updose it, and then do the same with the other. These meds have made our bodies so hypersensitive to many things so many of us can’t just start on higher doses of supplements.
 

Sending hugs🤗

[Muckymind]

Thanks for the reply carmie I will check out that thread. 😎

[Carmie]

You’re very welcome @Muckymind, feel free to continue to journal your experiences, thoughts or questions etc on your thread here. Others will be reading it too and may have similar experiences to you. 
 

Good evening from Australia💛

[Carmie]

Hi there @Muckymind, just checking to see how you’re doing. Are you managing to do some things you enjoy, despite not being able to find the joy in them due to anhedonia? When my anhedonia was really bad I still made myself do things, despite feeling numb. Hope you’re doing okay. 
 

Sending hugs🤗

[Muckymind]

Hi carmie, thanks for checking in , I’m struggling to do anything at the moment , all I seem capable of doing is laying on the couch all day which sounds terrible but I have lost all interest in previously enjoyable activities , having said that I try to keep up to date with the football and watch the hilight shows , just hoping that my receptors can repair themselves given time as I feel like they have been damaged by the antipsychotics, I’ll be sure to update every month and hopefully there will be even small improvements soon. 
hope your well , 

mucky 

[Carmie]

Hey @Muckymind, a good name actually for brain fog and anhedonia. Yes, sometimes all we can do is to distract ourselves to get through the day. I’m glad that watching football gives you that distraction.

 

Our brains have remarkable healing abilities, the problem is it can take a long time sometimes. Hope you cope okay today💛

[Muckymind]

Still no improvements I’m exactly the same as I was when I created this topic … it’s been 7.5 months since my last injection now … thinking it’s over for me now. 

[Sabathil]

Hey @Muckymind

I'm on clopixol depot currently. I started on a massive dose of 400mg every 2 weeks and am now taking 200mg every 3 weeks. I'm about to start the tablet form and slowly taper off.

 

My history with antipsychotics goes back to the year 2015, when I was on abilify. I cold turkey stopped that drug in August 2016, and it took 8 months but I did recover. Unfortunately I experienced withdrawal psychosis (and was smoking weed heavily), so had to start-over again, but I did recover - it just took me a long time.

 

I'm not sure how I feel reading your post and noticing you're doing the exact same as when you first took the clopixol. I know a few people on this exact drug, and we all experience the same. So, good to know its not YOU, its the drug that did this.

 

Yeah, its been hard to lose the ability and interest in life, but I know its drug-induced.

 

I'm not recommending this to you, but I've had recent success with doing small water fasts, practising semen retention, eating vegan, and cutting out coffee. I'd love to be free from the ciggies next, I don't think they do me any good its just a hard habit to break, but SR has given me more discipline/willpower. If you're male, I'd highly recommend that.

 

So, how long were you taking clopixol injections? What dose? And did you taper? Are you having nightmares at night?

 

Hang in there, it's horrible but remember the drug did this to you.

[Muckymind]

Hi @Sabathil 

 

thanks for stopping by my thread , 

I don’t know what to do atm I’m feeling like this is permanent at this stage I don’t understand why I haven’t recovered at all even just a little bit in a whole 8 months now since my last injection ? I had about 14 injections total every 2 weeks , it started at 600 then slowly went down to 200 then I stopped , what symptoms do you have from the clopixol ? Have you heard of people recovering from a reaction like mine ? And how long does it take do you think ? I’m really scared man as I don’t want to die but I cannot live like this for much longer it is torture. 
thanks again for stopping by. 

[Sabathil]

Yeah, you were on the maximum dose for a long time. I've never heard of anyone recovering from clopixol but I haven't heard of anyone not recovering from it either. Its banned in the USA so not many of us have been unfortunate to have to take it.

 

I'm not really sure why you haven't noticed improvements yet, but when I was on Abilify I didn't either until about the 8 month mark then recovery seemed to happen overnight. So there's hope.

 

My symptoms are the same as yours. No higher mental functioning, no emotion, feeling numb but restless at the same time. Inner torture. No real speech, I can't talk to people. Can't focus, relax. Poor sleep quality, nightmares. No libido. Everything you'd expect from taking antipsychotics. That's what these drugs do!

 

Its hell. I wake up, smoke ciggies, lay on my couch all day, maybe play some video games. And that's it. That's my life for the last 12 months since starting on clopixol.

 

But each day you're off all psych drugs is a day you're getting closer to recovery. I'm kinda scared reading your post that you haven't noticed any improvement, maybe it'll be the same for me

[Muckymind]

Hi @Sabathil how are you doing? I still feel the same unfortunately I’m waiting patiently but nothing seems to be happening , I feel completely dead inside , I wish I had just a little bit of recovery to give me some hope but I will carry on waiting and just hoping and praying. Hope your ok 

[Sabathil]

Hi @Muckymind not doing well unfortunately, but at least I'm now free from involuntary injections...

 

It's horrible what you're going through, I'm experiencing it too. Was this your first and only experience with psych drugs?

[Muckymind]

@Sabathilsorry to hear that your struggling too , I hope you have more luck than me when it comes to recovery , when will you be med free ? Yes it is my only experience with psych meds …

[Sabathil]

@Muckymind thankyou, will be med free next year some time. I'm down to 7.5mg clopixol tablets now, and tapering slowly. But I still feel awful, can hardly tell I've reduced the dose lol.

 

Have you noticed any improvement since we last spoke?

[Muckymind]

@Sabathil hey man , keep going bro I think you will be ok as most people are … for me I don’t think I will recover I hope I’m wrong but it’s been like 11 months since my last injection and I still feel completely dead inside , all the same symptoms that I speak about in previous posts … it just doesn’t seem to be changing at all I fear the worst at this point … not sure how much longer I can take it tbh , it’s living hell …  

[Sabathil]

@Muckymindmy main problem has been with recovery too. I've been on a variety of different antipsychotic Injections and came off them as soon as my court order ended. I've never recovered either. Always landed back in hospital because the drugs cause psychosis when I try come off them.

 

11 months is a long time. I hope I recover too but don't have much hope.

[Sabathil]

@Muckymindany progress man?

[Muckymind]

I’m afraid not bro , you ? It’s been 14 months since my last injection now , think it’s prob permanent for me