bubble: tapering off Lexapro and Xanax

[bubble]

Awwww, Petu this sooooo very sweet of you! Might make me cry (in a nice way) but have had great difficulties crying for a very long time. And as a big sister I’m much more comfortable in the role of giving support than asking it for myself. Although I’ve been aware of this pattern for a while, implementing the change of the pattern is still a struggle.

 

I've been meaning to write an update but never got further than just composing it in my head. Also read your thread and thinking a lot about what you wrote on becoming aware of that impetus to move forward all the time, at all costs and moving from that to accepting “this is where I am and this is OK”!. And that nice disagreement that Amy posted to your report of "not having done anything the whole day” while you actually did something equivalent to a walk on the moon by feeling your fluffy socks against the floor that you put yourself but were not able to feel it before.

 

I'm just like everybody else (or even more so): sooo much hate when things go bad after they have been good for so long that we were again tricked into believing that this is a linear process.

 

Things are actually not so very bad but are not pleasant at all.

 

There’s actually been a whole little string of events starting very soon after I posted last so I was looking at where that would lead.

What actually started the whole thing was a violation of this basic rule so kindly pinned for us by Alto:

Altostrata, on 28 Jun 2014 - 02:00 AM, said:

I'm going to post this here so everyone can see it.
 
Our basic rules of succeeding with tapering off psychiatric drugs or recovering from withdrawal syndrome are the rules of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

3.b. Avoid binges. Even if you had no problems with them before, avoid overindulgence in alcohol, food, partying, sugar, staying up late, even exercise. All of these put the body and the nervous system under stress.
  

The binging I engaged in is actually not listed as one of the examples but the point is that it was excessive. My feeling good times put a strain on my feeble finances and then one evening I got an offer to do some translation work which would help me retrieve some of the money spent. I like translating, I was on hols, I had time and space BUT there was a catch: it was an urgent translation which meant some 30 pages in 24 hours (I didn’t realise it at first because the font was so small that at first glance it appeared only 10 pages). I was well enough mentally to be able to pull the most focused effort of my life actually: worked from 9 am till 8 pm almost literally without a break except for a few minutes to eat, go to the toilet and stretch my spine on the bed. I was also not sure at all whether I’ll be able to deliver on time simply because there was so much of the stuff. Towards the end, I got a kind of dizzy in my head and I was very aware that I have strained myself a lot. I did it but it came at a cost.

 

I went into an extremely slow mode instantaneously but the first 2 days was just sleeping. After that my brain felt a kind of swollen and extremely exhausted. I was gentle with it and it was improving but needed more time than I was able to give it. I had to go back to work while my brain was begging me for more rest and refraining from any mental activity until further notice.

But I had to go to work. I went as slow as possible, thinking of the time when I will be able to rest, first weekend and then another hols in a month’s time. I introduced slacking, as many relaxing activities as possible but still I just felt very overwhelmed so since the 19 th of June when I subjected myself to that insane amount of work, I’ve been fighting but still sliding. After a few months of anxious free life I began experiencing night anxiety and cortisol surges again.

 

It’s not the only thing. For over a month now I’ve had quite pronounced GI issue. I wrote about them in my previous post. I did all the tests and they were all fine but it feels like I have gastritis in the making. Now the acid even got to my throat which I read is called GERD. A herbal practitioner put me on a very strict diet that helps but is so restrictive that it makes me very weak physically and after 10 days of practicing it my immune system broke down so I came down with cold in the middle of summer. The GI issues disappeared however so I stopped the diet in its radical form although still being very cautious about what I eat. However, it seems that for any little meat I put into my mouth or lettuce I get punished. I’m reading a lot about this, bought an expensive probiotic drink but it seems that GAPS diet contradicts this diet that I’m on and which helps so I feel confused.

 

Also, I think I should’ve listened to Rhi and take a lot longer hold than I did.

 

It doesn’t help in the least bit that my boyfriend manifests his sensitivities and difficulties and simply can’t cope with the prolonged period of my indisposition, loss of libido, edginess, need to be alone, not being able to engage with difficult issues (although it was me who managed his conflict with his wife which made him fall to pieces). I’m thinking I should maybe not only cancel the wedding but break off the relationship entirely. Most of the time he is very supportive, gentle and patient and we get on so well. But then it turns out as if he was just pushing things under the carpet and he explodes in very ugly manifestations which lead me to conclude I have no choice but to break up with him. He starts pathologising me severely, calling my psycho, wacko, crazy. Luckily I’m strong enough not to be affected by that in the way that I think it’s true. I’m aware of my deficiencies but if others can’t live with them I’m perfectly capable of living on my own. I don’t depend on anyone in any way which he uses as a further proof of my pathology. Unlike him, I’ve been working on my issues for many years. The problem is that since the very beginning he is very efficient in manipulating me: he starts crying, becomes very gentle (earnestly, not in a manipulative way) so after a while I choose to believe that we can work things out. And there have been some improvements.

 

There was a good discussion after he was throwing quotes from some bizarre site on how to live with person with borderline personality disorder. We both confided in a friend we trust and he was able to persuade him that pathologising me wasn’t going to solve our problems and pointed at faults in his own behaviour. He was able to accept that and I explained it to him that what they call BP behavious is actually a very common behaviour that can actually be triggered by his behaviour but calling it BP does nothing to resolve it. Members of that site just try to “solve” problems in their relationships by finding fault with their partners. And we managed to agree that was very wrong.

 

I don’t know if you will remember how I complained about this kind of behaviour back in February. And a few of you took a very firm stand that this relationship was not good for me and that you obviously my boyfriend was not an emotionally stable and mature person. He is definitely not and I’ve known that since the very beginning. But a little while before that I wrote about displays of his kindness and support and then you also wrote about the same person how great he was. As always, things are extremely complex in a relationship. I’m fully aware of my and his inadequacies. As fully as can be. But I exhibit a belief that we can work together on becoming better versions of ourselves. It’s just his lack of capacity for growing and learning that scares me and makes me want to write off 3 years of travelling together.

 

I feel a lot better after letting it all out. And there were actually tears welling up.

 

I remember reading a rather foolish book He’s just not that into you which was somehow made into a movie. The point is that a guy is advising women of the type of patterns in relationships where they should just leave upon noticing certain signals. This book actually made me think of the balance between accepting someone (and ourselves) with our deficiencies and working on solving them or just giving hope on the possibility of others to change. What then gives us the right to hope that we will change and grow out of our troubling patterns? Balance is key as everything. It just seems that that book was advocating giving up trying instead of giving up after trying. I gave up trying to change my father, maybe by accepting him the way he was paradoxically. I just concluded that he can’t change. I didn’t tell him that. But he committed suicide all the same. I never thought my mom could change but my two siblings believed and I found her reading a book on positive thinking and witnessed changes I never thought possible. It’s very tricky. Who am I to judge? But at the same time I won’t put up with any form of abuse. I’ll just have to see how I can bring these two principles in balance.

 

It’s good that I feel in charge, aware of what is going on, understanding its implications, feel like I can react in a way that I see fit, have a great support network here, in my family, friends, therapist. Unlike my boyfriend who is reclusive as he himself says and I actually manage a lot of his own social interactions for him not to mention that he relies on mine, or even worse, me exclusively which of course gets too much for me at times. I have so many conflicting images of him. So one would say if you are not sure if it is yes or no then it is no… No that is very hard to accept. 

 

Wasn't sure whether to post it or not but it seems I'll click post...

[moodyblues78]

Thanks for sharing this with us bubble. 

 

You said something very wise: if you are not sure if it is yes or no then it is no. I feel that you should think about it very closely. When you have the energy. Just my opinion. I don`t know him but this does not sound promising..

[mammaP]

Thanks for sharing this with us bubble. 

 

You said something very wise: if you are not sure if it is yes or no then it is no. I feel that you should think about it very closely. When you have the energy. Just my opinion. I don`t know him but this does not sound promising..

I agree with MB.    

 

I told my kids when they were getting married that they should only get married if they could live with their 

partners just as they are, warts and all. No one can make another person change, they have to change because they 

want to. It is amazing and lovely how your mum changed when she read that book, it obviously gave her the inspiration

she needed. You can't live hoping that he will somehow eventually get it that his behaviour is unacceptable. 

 

I think when you are in love and it's all going well you can overlook some things, but when things start to get a bit

rocky, or real life starts, those things can be magnified and become intolerable.  

Just my few cents worth. You are special and deserve to be loved and cherished. 

[bubble]

Thanks a lot Moody and MammaP!

 

Usually we discuss whether to reinstate and how much but all sorts of things happen along the way and it feels so good to be supported all around. Had I managed to write my update two days ago it would've been about GI issues and a "forget me not" visit paid by my anxiety. Today I was and still am shocked by the face my gentle and understanding partner has shown. My colleague who knows him and has seen how well we get on together advised more compromising . But I didn't tell her about all the words he used to describe me ;(

 

A strange semblance to withdrawal: we just don't want to hear the "verdict" and hope things will go away...denial

[mattinsmom]

I waited for someone to change, and she did, into the complete opposite of anything I could have imagined. Guess who got hurt in the process?! What if I told you that person was me?

[bubble]

I waited for someone to change, and she did, into the complete opposite of anything I could have imagined. Guess who got hurt in the process?! What if I told you that person was me?

 

thank you for sharing Amy. I wouldn't be surprised  

 

I almost feel like quoting Mamma's P post on how frustrating it is to watch a person riding at full speed into a hole we have barely managed to climb out or still trying...

 

It seems like I just can't make a different decision. Pathological clicks are the strongest. I didn't even talk to my brother about it for fear he would give me the same verdict as all of you. Although he also has a bit of mixed feelings since he saw me both quite happy and quite sad in this relationship (although less frequently). 

[Rhiannon]

Aw Bubble, I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

 

I'm not going to give you advice about the relationship because I don't have enough information, but one thing I would advise is try not to make any decisions or even to think about it too much right now while you're in a wave. Journaling like you have, and maybe even some more in your private journal, so you can go back and look at it later, that is probably good, so you will be able later to go back and remember all of your reservations and concerns. But in a wave is not a good time to make a rational assessment about important things, in my opinion.

 

It's a good time to know though that you are so appreciated and loved here! I'm so glad you're part of our community, and sorry that you had to suffer to get here. Take good care of yourself. It's a wave, it's withdrawal, it will pass and you'll be feeling good again, I promise.

[lobster]

Good morning Bubble :-) I'm so very sorry things are going rough for you right now. I'm confident things will turn around for you. It's always darkest just before the dawn. It's very easy to over do thing's when we have been feeling ok for a while. I hope things turn around for you in your relationship you are a good person and deserve it :-) just remember it's a wave it will pass in time take good care of yourself. Your friend lobster

[bubble]

Thanks a lot Rhi and Lobster, it's very kind of you to drop by

 

I'm actually not that bad: just not as chirpy as usual and it feels like things are slowly settling down.

 

Thank you Rhi for reminding me of what I call pulling down my sails in the face of a storm: no decision-making and avoidance of difficult topics and thoughts.  This has actually become a practiced survival strategy for me: pulling back or pulling in as a shell fish or a turtle and waiting to regain my strength before proceeding.

 

Your support and nice words about me mean a lot !

hugs

[Rhiannon]

Turtle turtle turtle. I think maybe the turtle should be our official mascot of this forum.

 

:-)

 

I miss chirpy Bubble, but I also know like any kind of bubble, you can't be kept down, you will rise back up!

 

Hugs back at ya

[bubble]

turtle power

 

 

 

slow and steady wins the race

 

It's soooo nice to feel accepted in not so good states. It definitely paves a way for self-acceptance in the said states...

 

big hugs

[Jemima]

turtle power

 

 

 

slow and steady wins the race

 

It's soooo nice to feel accepted in not so good states. It definitely paves a way for self-acceptance in the said states...

 

big hugs

 

Love it!

[Jemima]

That said, I'm relieved to see that you're rethinking your relationship with your boyfriend.  When you mentioned sometime back that you were planning to get married, I thought, "Uh, oh...during withdrawal is NOT a good time to make such a serious decision". No reflection whatever on your friend as you hadn't described his personality at that point.

 

I do think it's a bad sign that he can't seem to handle the stress of your withdrawal.  Not every marriage has to withstand that particular kind of stress, but the marriages that seem to last are the ones that have weathered some very severe storms and come through it all stronger. I'd say he's not a good bet for the long run. Just my opinion.

[bubble]

That said, I'm relieved to see that you're rethinking your relationship with your boyfriend.  When you mentioned sometime back that you were planning to get married, I thought, "Uh, oh...during withdrawal is NOT a good time to make such a serious decision". No reflection whatever on your friend as you hadn't described his personality at that point.

 

I do think it's a bad sign that he can't seem to handle the stress of your withdrawal.  Not every marriage has to withstand that particular kind of stress, but the marriages that seem to last are the ones that have weathered some very severe storms and come through it all stronger. I'd say he's not a good bet for the long run. Just my opinion.

 

thank you very much Jemima for your opinion and everything!

 

we have a date though... But I have to make a decision. Even if I don't make a decision, there will be a decision. He is a foreign national so if there's no wedding, he has to leave. Still I don't feel pressured. And even if I do get married, it's not the end of the world...maybe I don't take marriage as seriously as I should....

[mattinsmom]

I'm just checking in on you. You are right, no decision is a decision. I think that you are in a very tough spot and having to think about things that would cold-stop the healthiest person alive and here you are carrying all of this during withdrawal. No wonder you are swinging a bit. I hope that your answers become clear. 

[Petunia]

I'm glad you hit the post button Bubble, thank you for sharing what has been going on.  I'm resisting the urge to throw in my 2 cents about your relationship.  Your situation is reminding me about issues from my own past.

 

There's one thing I will mention though, just in case you haven't thought about it. 

 

Children.  I know you want to have a baby.  If you marry your boyfriend, I'm assuming he will be the father of your child/children.  Is he the person you want to have playing this role?  The answer may be yes.

 

But if its not, then being with him is preventing you from meeting and getting to know someone who may be more compatible with your values and goals.  I think that if children are not going to be involved, then its not such a serious issue.  Two adults are free to make choices which will only effect themselves.

[Pokeshaw]

Hi Bubble ~~

 

I just want to send you a hug. you have been such a big part of my process of accepting where i am, and going slow - so i love the Turtle!

 

i understand how complex and difficult relationship issues can be. i have been dealing with my own 'partnership' during this taper and there are times when i feel i need to live alone and want to end the relationship. i grapple with that.

the main thing that helps me with making any kind of big decision is keeping the focus on myself. hard to do since i was trained from a young age to make sure everyone else's feelings are taken care of. i was taught that it is selfish to take care of myself.  hmmmm....

so, after many yrs in 12 step programs i have learned to turn the big issues over to a higher power and when i do that, i find that before long, or when the time is right, am usually guided in a very gentle way toward what is best for me.

 

That is how i found this site! and all of you who i now consider my 'tribe.'

 

know that you are not alone ~

 

sending loving support from Brooklyn!

 

Pokeshaw

[Karma]

Wow, Bubble.  You are an eloquent writer!  I'm so glad we have you here as part of our community and especially as part of the moderator staff.

 

I think that your recent post was very therapeutic for you. It appears that all the information is on the table.  You have to decide whether you see progress given the counseling sessions and whether you can live with the break out behavior.  As Rhi suggested, if you are experiencing withdrawal, this is probably not the time to make that decision.

 

I deal with processes in business.  One thing I've learned is that if the manual process isn't efficient then automating it isn't going to make it better - it often only tends to expose the seriously broken parts.  I think marriage is quite similar.  if you can't make it strong and supportive outside of marriage, then marriage isn't going to make it better. 

 

Remember that marriage is a contract.

 

Something to think about - what if you postponed the wedding and he did have to leave?  What would that look like and what would the benefit of additional time do for the relationship?  Just something for you to ponder.

 

Love and light ... and here is a Karma hug

 

Karma

[bubble]

you are all such an incredible bunch of people Petu, Poke, Amy, Karma, Rhi, Jemima, MammaP, Moody, lobster!

 

Read what you all wrote and thought about it a lot. Wanted to write more but that GI thing made me so depleted that I slept a lot. In the meantime domestic life continued in the usual harmony and the episode of the other day seems as not being part of anything but more a part of some bad dream. I'm letting things unravel without forcing a decision.

 

I'm not used to sharing. Especially when I feel in deep trouble. I"m used to being in control and not exposing my weaknesses for fear there will be no one around if I allow myself to get out of balance (as my mom wasn't around after I was a year old and I had to learn how to soothe myself). That's why I probably keep everyone at arm's length. Reaching out here is a big step for me. And you dear people came forward which is an even bigger step.

 

Once we played a game in PE at school:one girl would stand in the middle of a tight circle of other girls around. She was supposed to let go and fall out of balance towards the stretched arms that would gently pick her and push her back to the center. It's funny but one of my neighbours stepped aside making me almost fall, which I would've hadn't I been alert even in my letting go.

 

When I let myself go this time, you all came forward. That's an amazing experience

[areyouthere]

Awwww Bubble. I can't compete with the wonderful writing & responses by everyone here. But I want you to know that If I were one of the girls on the outside of that circle I would have fallen over myself to cushion another's fall before I'd step away.

 

I think that many of us here can relate to pulling in when in trouble and not liking to expose ourselves at our most vulnerable times because of past experiences. It is likely why we wound up in the positions we are in and why we are here in the first place.

 

You will become stable once again and I applaud your strength in knowing you can and will make good decisions either way.

 

RU  

[Rhiannon]

Hi Bubble. Just a hug from another member of your support circle...

[mlrp]

Hello, Bubble ~

 

Thank you so much for replying to my update. Your spirit is always so uplifting - often even in the midst of your struggles. Inspiring!

[bubble]

That's very kind of you mlrp.

 

I've been planning to write an update about how I shot myself in the foot for a few days now. But as with everything,it's not easy now.

 

It all started last week. One night the alarm woke me up for my 3 am dose of Xanax and I tried to get up but the next thing would be waking up at 5 realising that I'd just fallen asleep without taking my dose. The next day I realised at 5 pm that I didn't take my 1pm dose. I was getting annoyed by those frequent slips. I'd been taking xanax 5 times a day and night for 8 months with ease and now all of a sudden something would happen every day.

 

Then on Thursday I was supposed to meet my friend after work. I measured out 2 doses to take to work. At 1 pm I was very careful not to forget it again but when I opened my bag I was shocked to see the bottle wasn't there. I called my boyfriend and he confirmed that I'd left it on the counter!

 

I was quite upset since cancelling a meticulously planned arrangement wasn't really an option. Had I known what was to happen I would've or I would've asked my boyfriend to bring the bottle to work... But I thought I would be fine. It would cause an unwelcome disturbance but I didn't really expect anything major. I was taking my daily dose in 2 doses before so I didn't expect what happened to happen.

 

I seemed fine. I told my friend I forgot my doses and we spoke about how I didn't feel too unwell over it. I was trying to make our get together shorter but her kids were with their grandparents,she was enjoying that free time and I simply wasn't assertive enough nor aware of the danger I was in.

 

I wasn't able to part with her until 8.30 pm having missed both my 1 pm and 6 pm dose. And then it happened:suddenly I was no longer able to hear her or see her properly. In dreadful anguish I was outside of my body. DP/DR?

 

I said bye quickly and started going home.I was 20 mins away but I didn't think I would make it. I was running through a park feeling darkness engulfing me, struggling to stay present, at moments forgetting where I was and what I was doing. I wanted to scream for help. My battery had gone off and when I remembered I could ask some teenagers to call my boyfriend I thought I wouldn't be able to talk. Somehow I managed. He came running with the drug 5 mins away from my flat and I made it home.

 

Today is day 5 and luckily I'm on my annual leave. I'm still shaken with the trauma of the experience and angry with myself. And my friend. I feel like a prisoner in heavy chains. I stopped feeling the chains because I restricted my movements to adjust to them with so much care. Maybe I got an illusion they were no longer there. Now I'm shocked with the brutality of their strength.

 

I'm having a particularly painful period,it 's raining and I'm on hols:a perfect time to lie in bed with a book feeling as low and anxious as I need to be. One of these days I will get up to resume fighting. But not now.

[mlrp]

Wishing you returned calm and uplifted spirits soon. Reminds me how I accidentally left my meds at home Monday 2 weeks ago. Drove home in an angry panic and ended up taking my a.m. dose of Wellbutrin about 40 minutes late. I think it may have been one of a few factors that contributed to my current wave (which, hopefully, may be slightly subsiding). I now keep "emergency" doses in my office. *sigh*

[Rhiannon]

 I feel like a prisoner in heavy chains. I stopped feeling the chains because I restricted my movements to adjust to them with so much care. Maybe I got an illusion they were no longer there. Now I'm shocked with the brutality of their strength.

 

so eloquently said.

 

Bubble, over a long term taper, we all screw up sometimes.  I've certainly made mistakes like this. You'll be back on track and feeling better soon--in fact you probably already are, as I write this.

 

And now you know what your limits are--you can mess up a little for a few days and do okay, and in this case you missed two doses and it didn't hit you hard until many hours had gone by. 

 

I too hate those chains. I'm so sorry. I hope you're feeling much better now or that you get back to a better place very soon and you can fully enjoy your time off.

 

And thank you again for all the support you give me and everyone else here.

[mattinsmom]

Hi

Checking in and hoping that things are starting to level out for you. It sounds like you got hit hard, really hard. Give yourself time to recoup from that. Keep breathing and for heaven's sake cut yourself some slack. You've supported me thru more than one oops and a couple of on-purposes too. 

[Pokeshaw]

Bubble - i send you loving and balancing thoughts. i hope you are ok. i am glad to hear you are on break and can relax and take care of yourself.

this process can be so scary sometimes. i understand.

i want you to know i am thinking of you.

you have always been a truly wonderful supportive faraway friend for me.

sending it back to you now.

XOX

 

Poke

[areyouthere]

Hey Bubble… that sounds like a very frightening experience & I'm sorry that you had to go through it. 

 

How are you doing now? 

 

RU

[bubble]

Dear mlrp,Rhi,Amy,Poke and RU thank you so much for dropping by and for your kind words.

 

I still haven't bounced back but it's not so bad. I just feel very tired and depleted and feel like I need a lot of rest. Being on hols definitely helps and as always despite struggling, I managed to do quite a lot:worked on a little research on the side and organised a small wedding. For myself and my now husband of course;)

 

I wasn't really in the mood and it was quite hard but I took care of my clothes,accessories, hair,make up, nails, flowers, photographer, dinner for a few family and friends... It was charming and nice although I wasn't all there. It exhausted me and I had to submit the research so I could say I did well and can rest now.

 

It's just that I don't know why this is happening:I had a mishap with my dosing again yesterday!Since November everything had been going on so smoothly and now one mishap after the other. We went to spend a few days with my mom. I paid a special attention to packing all my medication equipment, pills, bottles, a syringe. But when I went to take my 11pm dose, the syringe was not there. I usually have a handbag full of them but this time I had a new bag and not a single syringe ;( so I took an approximate amount and rushed to the pharmacy first thing in the morning. It seems it had an impact since my crankiness went through the roof.Don't know why this is happening;(

 

I can't stop thinking what a blessing it is to be a part of this community. For so many years I had no idea what was going on with me. I could see it was related to those drugs I was taking but I didn't understand how and nobody else did. i was also so lonely and isolated from my friends who just couldn't understand what was going on.

 

So you all are a real blessing;)

 

Big hugs

[Rhiannon]

Wow Bubble, congratulations, you got married!    Weddings are not an easy thing to plan and get through under the best of circumstances. 

 

I almost always mess up at least one dose of something when I travel. It's tricky.

 

You're a great blessing to us, and to your now husband too and everyone in your life, I know it.

[bubble]

oh that's sooooo sweet of you Rhi ))

 

I always try to remind myself: woman, you had a very difficult childhood/life, you ended up on bad drugs. Despite that you are doing the best you can. It's not perfect, it's not as good or as much as that what others do but they don't have your story.

 

Now I know I just have to hold and everything will be fine. (some time soon hopefully

[Muddles]

Comgratulations mrs bubble!

 

So nice to hear some good news.

 

And thanks for popping over to comfort me. I really do appreciate your time and kind words.

[Pokeshaw]

Bubble -

 

  Congratulations!!  how amazing you are!  I can't believe you did all of that ~~ but then again i can.

you are a power of example to me - the way you 'showed up'.

 

you are wonderful

on your healing journey

 

and you are also a real blessing in my life.

 

XOXOX

 

P

[Nikki]

Hi bubble I haven't been around much so I had to go back to read what's been going on.  First of all congratulations

That's lovely.  Having a life partner is so comforting.

 

I like the Turtle Mascot.

 

I was looking at your tapering schedule and see that you taper twice a month.  Is that your Xanax?  How do you taper the Lexapro?  Same way?

 

It sounds like you have bounced back and I am glad you have.....

 

Hugs

[mlrp]

Very best wishes, Bubble ~!~ I'm very happy for you!!

 

I, too, am in awe of all you manage to accomplish (research?! amazing!). And I understand completely the sorrow of not being "all there," particularly poignant during an important life event. BUT you were there, perhaps even more than you realize, and the memories will be especially precious when you look back from the perspective of increased recovery.

 

I occasionally screw up dosing, myself. This morning's Wellbutrin was 20 min late, and now know those minutes matter! And, frequently these days I catch myself "returning" the orange juice to a cupboard (rather than fridge) or taking a pot out of the dishwasher and going to store it in the fridge. Yesterday, I cut herbs from the garden, got a paper towel to dry them on, and rinsed the paper towel under the faucet instead of the herbs (resulting in a mini-meltdown)   I don't know if it's menopause, or w/d, but my money is on the w/d.

 

Your reminder to yourself is SPOT ON - for all of us. You have already overcome and accomplished so much! In Al-Anon, we say, I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.

 

Take extra care of yourself, gentle rest and relaxation. <hug>

[bubble]

Thank you dear Sarah.

 

That's so cute: mrs bubble ))

 

I think about you a lot, sending you healing vibes to endure that opening which is just round the corner. I'm so happy you are with us.

 

 

Comgratulations mrs bubble!

So nice to hear some good news.

And thanks for popping over to comfort me. I really do appreciate your time and kind words.