Jump to content
Support our work - please give today

Sunnydays0912: scared to taper from Lexapro and Seroquel. Help!

sunnydays0912

By sunnydays0912
in Introductions and updates

Recommended Posts

sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Sorry for another post! My brain is all over everywhere right now with discovering this at the same time as running errands and getting my kids into bed. Something else I forgot to mention.

 

Oddly enough, the wave I felt coming on? It suddenly turned into a window. In fact, I felt better than I had in a long time. It was a very sudden change, but it's like a filter was taken off my brain and I had energy again, quick responsiveness (that's been gone since lexapro poop out), stronger positive emotions (I was suddenly excited to go home and snuggle my kids, got more excited about shopping [i was at Target - my favorite store - when this happened]) just in General was feeling much more upbeat.

 

I don't know if this was some kind of manic episode or what, except honestly I felt more like my old self than going into a episode of mania. I normally enjoy shopping always lol.

 

It was sort of like a few hours of continuous down feelings, like it literally felt like my brain was losing power, and then suddenly in a matter of 5-10 minutes I was feeling almost like my old self again. Once I got home is when I realized the mistake in measurement and haven't had a moment to stop and see how I'm feeling so I don't know if anything has changed since this is the rush part of my day.

 

But what does this sound like is happening?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Replies 394
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • sunnydays0912

    183

  • Altostrata

    65

  • bubble

    39

  • Meimeiquest

    28

Top Posters In This Topic

sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It's passed 11am now and I haven't taken my dose yet. I don't know if I should raise it or not...in the past my NS has shown it doesn't react well to reinstatement, at least with lexapro. So I'm nervous about reinstating the extra 2mg.

 

Hoping alto or one of the other experts could get back to me with what you think I should do in this case?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

I think your health anxiety is causing you to jump all over in dosing again.

 

How is your note-taking going? Do you have a record of 4 days symptom pattern at the reduced dosage?

 

Feeling a little funny for one day does not demonstrate anything.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I have been taking notes, and the fatigue/loss of energy/engaging (I notice I'm less interested in talking to people, like at the store before my window hit, if a clerk asked me something, I'd have this dulled reaction to respond. It was weird) started the day before yesterday, but got stronger yesterday, and then it passed and I had a window that felt strong at first, then I evened out and felt fine the rest of the night last night.

 

Today I seem to be feeling the same. I guess a good term to use is content.

 

So I'm really unsure what to do about the dose. Should I stay at the 4mg drop and see how it goes?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Can I just say...my stupidity is really getting out of hand. I finally did real math to find out 10% of 40mg is actually 4mg. So my dose drop has been correct this whole time.

 

I'm so sick of my brain being so confused and foggy.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

Your next 10% drop from 36mg would be 3.6mg. Since you think you're feeling the decrease, don't do it until those symptoms go away completely.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Alto, what do you think happened yesterday? That was the most obvious mood swing, or wave to window I've ever experienced. And aside from the general foggy brain and emotional blunting I've been feeling since starting Prozac, I seem to be better today?

 

Forgive me, today is a very boring day for us with nothing to do so I've just been sitting around thinking. And so I've been wondering if that was my brain feeling WD, but then learning to function again where the Prozac was missing. And since it's such a small decrease, it wasn't hard for it to restore itself that little bit?

 

Because when I did a 25% drop of lexapro, I felt so much depressive WD symptoms so suddenly (oddly no anxiety or agitation or brain zaps. In fact I've never experience a brain zap) and it just felt like my brain was struggling to replace what lexapro had left. If that makes sense? But it was so much more severe than what I experienced yesterday because it was a much bigger drop. So I wonder if yesterday was the extent of my WD and then my brain was able to learn to function again on its own. But now I'm back to the same stabilized-but-foggy state I was when stable on 40mg.

 

Am I making sense? I think I need to go for a walk or something to get out of my head.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

sunny, I think it was a tiny bump in the road, and you need to stop obsessing about such things.

 

When you listen to your body, you need to take the position of a calm observer. Your body can't give you a clear message about how to take care of it if you freak out about every little signal.

 

Whenever you get a symptom, write it down in your notes, and then change the channel.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

sunny, I think it was a tiny bump in the road, and you need to stop obsessing about such things.

 

When you listen to your body, you need to take the position of a calm observer. Your body can't give you a clear message about how to take care of it if you freak out about every little signal.

 

Whenever you get a symptom, write it down in your notes, and then change the channel.

Ok so now that it's later in the day, I can see where you're coming from. All of a sudden again, it's like my brain started working again. During the day I'm in this constantly concrete mood. I can't focus on anything but what is happening to me. And there's no reasoning with myself either. Like when someone tells you everything will be alright and you feel that comfort and relief just from someone being there? I can't even imagine that during the day. My mind is constantly on and thinking this is bad, what is happening to me, I'm going crazy, WD is going to kill me, and even when I try my hardest to talk myself down, I don't feel relief. Or comfort. Or hope. My mind stays in this agitated, concrete mode where I struggle to even relate to anyone.

 

And then my brain feels like it slowing down, feeling even more foggy headed and forgetful for a couple hours, and then I snap out of it and am able to feel like a normal human being again. And I can see how I'm obsessing about how I'm feeling way too much and need to cool it, but when I'm in that mode I don't see it. Maybe logically, but that's it. I can barely focus on doing anything else. In the evening, I can calm down, relax, think everything will be ok, and be fine.

 

WHAT IS THAT?? I'm going to write this all down and read it again in the morning when I'm back in that weird mode...

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
Narcissus Newbie

Narcissus

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

 

 

I can barely focus on doing anything else. In the evening, I can calm down, relax, think everything will be ok, and be fine. 

 

WHAT IS THAT??

I think the factor here is the hormones, adrenaline and cortisol and whatever else, which seem to fire off in massive bursts throughout withdrawal.  In my experience there's very little one can do when you're in one of these terrible hormone baths.  The fear and confusion and obsessing over symptoms is unavoidable I think.  You just have to make it through them.  They'll get less frequent and less intense over time.  Try to hang in there. 

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

What time of day do you take Prozac?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Usually around 9:30am but yesterday it was like 1pm and today 11:30am to slowly move my dose up to 9:30 again.

 

Today seems to be better. Except I'm not yet at the time of day where I felt the most "concrete" yesterday so we will see. And I don't know how to explain concrete except as just rigid, inability to feel like everything will be ok but also not feeling panic or cortisol anxiety. Oh and I have no patience. My almost 5 yo can easily frustrate me in this mode. It's weird.

 

My friend (who has gone through something similar except she doesn't really know much) suggested I should take a small dose of GABA to help my brain feel calm and okay during WD. Is GABA ok to take? She said it's totally natural.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
Jemima Newbie

Jemima

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

Please keep in mind that many dangerous things are "totally natural".  There is nothing natural about drugs and supplements, IMO.

 

That said, here's our topic on GABA:  GABA

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

I'm sure we covered this before. Do not take your Prozac at irregular times. This can cause symptoms.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Please keep in mind that many dangerous things are "totally natural".  There is nothing natural about drugs and supplements, IMO.

 

That said, here's our topic on GABA:  GABA

 

 

Thank you. Again, I asked that in a moment of anxiety and thinking I wouldn't be able to cope. Thing is, it's really not that bad, whatever form of WD I am experiencing. Like Alto said before, these are fairly mild reactions that come and go, but when I'm in the middle of it, i overreact. My symptoms seem amplified only because I struggle to cope and calm myself down. Really, the best way to describe it is a severe struggle to cope with even the smallest WD and presume the worst, think I can't handle this, anything, nothing.theres no relief or comfort when I tell myself I'm ok, I'm going to get through this, I'll be fine, stop assuming the worst.

 

Once I'm out of that mode, I'm fine. I see what I was experiencing wasn't nearly as bad as I thought, and I'm able to feel confident I will be okay and get through this with my life intact. I explained this to a friend and that's why she suggested GABA. She said it helps bring relief from stress and fear to the brain. And in the moment, I thought I need to take it (however I am glad to say I know to always second guess these decisions before ever really consider it, hence asking here) but now? I can see reason better and know I shouldn't take or change anything right now because I want to see how I react to the taper, and want to prove to myself I can get through this myself.

 

So it's just like....GAH! Why can't my logical, confident, reassuring thoughts and feelings continue throughout the next day? I mean, like I said I am actually pretty alright. It's just that little window in the middle of the day that I get more panicky and less confident. Unable to see reason clearly. And it's only been like this for 2 days, however today was notably better than yesterday. I made sure to be out and doing things to hopefully keep my mind off it, which seemed to help. I also wonder if my adverse reactions in the past are what fuels my worry and overreacting today. Almost like a PTSD effect. I know how bad it can get, and know it's way, way, way worse than this, so I'm afraid of it coming back. Hoping if I read this tomorrow (if I find myself in that mode again) it will help remind me of what I truly think of this, and how I know I'm overreacting, so chill.

 

 

I'm sure we covered this before. Do not take your Prozac at irregular times. This can cause symptoms.

Yeah I know this, however that was the day I thought my dosing was wrong so didn't know what to do until that afternoon. BTW, correcting my liquid Prozac mix from 18mL to 36mL has helped greatly with the bitter taste. I still can't stand it (even clip my nostrils shut so I don't have to smell it >.<) but it's not nearly as potent, thank God.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So today was worse. I can't get into it much right now, but I'm suddenly scared the stress in my life while tapering is only going to lead to another poopout episode. My NS is currently starting to feel like it's in some form of distress. I just can't seem to calm down and relax. And now I can't get the fear of poopout to leave my head. And because of how horrible (HORRIBLE) I felt after the lexapro poopout, its only scaring and worrying me more. I'm tempted to take an Ativan but I really don't want to start relying on that. I want to be able to get passed this on my own. However I'm feeling rather hopeless at the moment. I hope it calms down soon...

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

My husband is driving me crazy...one day he believes and supports that my "illness" is caused by adverse effects and WD of meds. The next he gets frustrated and tells me to just listen to my doctor and drop the dose as he suggested, and if I don't handle it well, then I must need the medication.

 

Why did this have to all fall apart during such a stressful time in my life...I am so concerned that the stress of my current life is going to cause this WD journey to not go well at all. All day I've been feeling like I need help. Not from doctors or anything, just with my life. Tapering is causing me WDs, but if my life wasn't so hectic and unsupported I think I could handle it much, much better than I am. I feel like my responsibilities and my need to carefully taper is the worst clash possible right now. I dealt with so much mind fog, confusion, short temper, inattentiveness today that I could hardly get through the day. And whats bad is the symptoms weren't even that bad, but it's because I have 2 small children under my care every moment of the day that it exacerbates them sooooooo much! If I had help with them...at all...I'd feel like I could manage. Especially if just having someone around to keep me socializing and engaged. Being isolated, forgotten about, disassociated only makes my days so much harder. Add in the troubles of these stupid medications I've been fighting to find relief from and things are just impossible.

 

It's like I had my first baby all over again. I'm going through a hard time and no one is stepping up to help me adjust through it. I need my mom. I need anybody to give a damn and come help me.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I'm also afraid the WD will get worse, and I'll get to a point where I'll have to reinstate. But I don't want to do that! Because even when I was stable, I wasn't stable. I was myself but a less happy, less motivated, less okay self. I wasn't where I need to be. And I believe it's the medication causing this. So I want off. I do not want to reinstate. I just want help. WHY am I so unsupported in my life? And why can't I rise above and prevail like I always hear such strong people are able to do when put in tough situations?

 

Edited to add that I have 2 new posts, but this one started a new page (at least for me) in case anyone doesn't catch the new post on the previous page.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Making note of something quite obvious now. I seem to only start to feel bad after my daily dose of Prozac...I wake up fine, can thinking pretty clearly, see what I need to get done in the day and feel pretty alright about doing it. It isn't until after I take Prozac that my thinking gets messy, I lose energy, I'm super enattentive (I kind of space out a lot, lose train of thought very easily, very forgetful) and enter this mode I now understand to be called derealization. Especially yesterday. I feel like I'm looking through a filter with everything. Not totally in the moment (having a lot to do with the inability to stay focused and engaged with what's right in front of me). I feel like I'm only present in a 10-15 foot perimeter and feel dissacociated with anything beyond that. Like my depth perception is muffled. Even now, I took my dose about 20 minutes ago and I can feel a lightheadedness coming on.

 

I have had plans all morning if running errands, maybe taking my kids to get Easter pictures done, and was feeling good about all of it. Now I'm getting dizzy, feel the DR coming on, and can already tell things are going to get more difficult.

 

If this is caused by Prozac literally entering my system, and I can't stop taking it because of horrible WD to set in, I feel I'm really in a pit of Hell with no way out.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

Well, you're experiencing adverse effects from too-high a dose of Prozac, which I think we discussed 100 or so posts ago.

 

If you wish to stay on it, you are free to do so.

 

If you wish to taper off carefully -- unlike the way you did before -- and worry like this every step of the way, you are free to do so.

 

It's up to you to choose the way you wish to live your life.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I have noooooo intention of staying on this. At all. My dr even agrees it's too high of a dose.

 

On one hand, I feel a bit relieved thinking what I've thought was WD may actually be adverse effects. It's been a bit more obvious since starting the taper, but I'm thinking that may be because my NS is more sensitive because of it, so the adverse effects may be a bit heightened?

 

On the other hand, it makes me want to come off it faster. It's so tempting. And my husband doesn't help. He's telling me I should probably listen to my doctor and go the speed he recommends. He's telling me that prolonging it is probably causing more harm than anything. And he obviously knows nothing about these meds and what actually happens. He's actually the lucky one because he developed anxiety issues about a year after I started taking lexapro, and because of how I reacted to them and struggle to get off he's always denied them whenever a doctor has recommended he start them. He's even told them "I see how difficult it is for my wife to come off, so sorry, there's no way I'm taking them". But yeah, he doesn't see the point in going slow and should just get through the worst of WD quicker. I tried explaining that that could cause worse damage, but he's choosing to be ignorant.

 

Really sucks when you don't have anyone in your corner.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Member
cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Newbie

cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Posted
  • Member
Posted

No one at all in your corner except the collective wisdom here at SA. Hope you can see that.

 

Hope better days are coming your way.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
Petunia Newbie

Petunia

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

So my husband and I have been talking, and we decided it's for the best that the kids and I move back home this summer while he stays here to finish his final year of school.

 

Is there any way you could do this sooner, rather than wait until Summer, that way you would have the support of your family and friends now, when it seems you need it.  I can tell you are really struggling, but there is only so much support you can get from an online forum.  It sounds to me like you need some hands on, practical support with caring for your children so you can get a break from the unending responsibility and stress.  Taking care of young children all day, every day, with no support can be overwhelming for someone not dealing with drug withdrawal issues, I don't know how people handle it while going through withdrawal.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No one at all in your corner except the collective wisdom here at SA. Hope you can see that.

 

Hope better days are coming your way.

I do. And I appreciate it so much. But like Petu said, a online support forum only goes so far. It's tough when you have important people in your life telling you the complete opposite. It's not that it's convincing, it's just lonely.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

 

So my husband and I have been talking, and we decided it's for the best that the kids and I move back home this summer while he stays here to finish his final year of school.

Is there any way you could do this sooner, rather than wait until Summer, that way you would have the support of your family and friends now, when it seems you need it. I can tell you are really struggling, but there is only so much support you can get from an online forum. It sounds to me like you need some hands on, practical support with caring for your children so you can get a break from the unending responsibility and stress. Taking care of young children all day, every day, with no support can be overwhelming for someone not dealing with drug withdrawal issues, I don't know how people handle it while going through withdrawal.

This is why I struggled with deciding if I should wait to taper when my life is less hectic, closer to family, and my husband isn't overwhelmed with school. And though switching to Prozac has helped me stabilize from the poopout Hell I was in, it's also causing problems so I have no choice but to taper.

 

And the thought to move home sooner has crossed my mind many times. But the timing is bad for everyone. My parents are doing construction to their house before putting it on the market. My husband has no time to focus on a move. My son is still in his preschool year and tee ball season. So unless I packed up by myself and we move into a apartment, there's no way. I still can't get over how different a person I was coming into this...that's why my husband is understandably so frustrated. I was the one pushing him to go to school. Because I knew I could handle it. And then my meds turn against me in a way no one else around me understands. I apologize for my shortcomings so often and it's wearing me and everyone down.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So after reading a bit more about neuro-emotions, I think I may be experiencing them. I've read about them before, months ago, but never thought I related to it as I read it to be an intense emotion. Which if anything, my emotions have been dulled except for when I experienced sadness so strong it physically hurt after lexapro pooped out.

 

But I read in someone else's thread recently about how they feel so sensitive to others emotions. And I thought they meant in a sympathetic way. But then yesterday I was at a popular Farmers Market with my kids. And we stopped to see a street performer. And while he was trying to do his performance, this older man kept interrupting by walking into his performance area, obviously heavily intoxicated by alcohol or drugs or both. He was slurring his words, could barely keep himself standing, and kept trying to let the performer (who was dealing with fire and knives) let him try it out. It was really sad to watch...and while most everyone was laughing and thinking lowly of him, I'm feeling such intense feelings of sadness for him. I couldn't help but think he must be in a very hard situation with addiction abuse and how unfair it is for him. And I could tell everyone else was probably thinking he let himself fall into this problem and if he wanted to take control of his life, he could, but he chooses not to. And this lead me into thinking how unfair the world is, how there is so much bad and cruelty in the world. And if I didn't stop myself, I would have probably sunk into thoughts if life is nothing but pain and suffering so why do we want to live in this world?

 

I've dealt with this before. This is, again, what happened after I first started taking lexapro in 2009 (but oddly not when I was 17 and took it for 2 years, which only reinforced my belief that PPD was the cause the 2nd time). Whatever feeling of life is precious and worth living despite the pains and sorrows that naturally occur was gone, and all I could feel was the bad of the world and struggled to find reason of why we lived it. It's like Lexapro shut off the survival instinct in me. I could almost physically feel my brain become deficient in something, like, somewhat figuratively speaking, it's like I could feel the chemicals in my brain alter when those feelings and thoughts would come on. And I knew it was the Lexapro. But my pdoc at the time told me to raise the dose and wait it out, as it was a side effect.

 

At this time now, thinking back to it, it makes sense that Lexapro was literally changing my brain function. When my brain tried to react itself, it's like Lexapro said "NO do it MY WAY" and in the course of 6-8 weeks of forcing my brain to change, I felt the struggle in the worst way, until my brain finally gave in and adjusted the way Lexapro was demanding it to. My brain gave up its natural function and let Lexapro take over and work how it wanted. Which, sure, once settled it did help and I felt much better. But now I see that it wasn't worth it. Because the moment I tried to get off it, my brain struggled to function properly. Like it had been counting on Lexapro to keep everything running properly, and without it it simply didn't know what it was doing, hence the depressive WD, confusion, fear that quickly set in. And it took weeks for me to stabilize again. During which, I felt I was going through a whole re-wiring process again and had many scary mood swings, weird thoughts, even paranoia which I don't think I experienced with the initial start up. Bnt I did eventually stabilize again. But that experience is what kept me from ever trying again. I was too afraid, and let myself believe my pdoc that it was my illness.

 

Does this at all sound accurate to what is believed to be happening with these meds? I am still trying to make sense of everything that's happened.

 

And those feelings I was feeling last night about the old man? Was that considered neuro-emotion?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Administrator
Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

Sunny, no one but you can make decisions about how you want to live your life -- not your husband, your doctor, your parents, or an online support group.

 

Not only that, but if you want to make your own decisions, you need to assume responsibility for them. That means to deal with the situation if your decision turns out to be a mistake. You need to find the courage within yourself to do this.

 

If you cannot take the responsibility for tapering, don't taper. Do what your pdoc says, or what your husband says, or your parents.

 

I cannot take responsibility for you. To be frank, I find your minute attention to your fear and indecision to be very frustrating. I believe you need some serious cognitive behavioral training (CBT) to manage your self-sabotaging tendencies.

 

I don't think I can add much more here. I hope you don't mind if I do not respond any more in your topic. Good luck to you in your decisions.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Alto, I don't think you're understanding where I'm coming from. My "self-sabotaging" is simply just myself trying to take control and make the best decision possible. Since September I've made nothing but wrong decisions guided by doctors, pharmacists, and family. These decisions have lead me into the worst psychiatric pain I've ever experienced. To a point where I very nearly could not function. And in the back of my head during all this, all I still had was my logic telling me my kids are going to suffer if I don't find a way through this.

 

I somehow got out of that despite all the wrong decisions I unknowingly made. And I also realize now that I am in this alone because during that time, no one could lift a finger to help me get through it. I have to pack up my whole world and move home so it's more convenient for my family to give a damn and do something.

 

One thing that is clear is I'm coming off the Prozac. I don't appreciate you constantly assuming whatever I'm posting in here is somehow connected to me thinking about staying on it. I thought I've been pretty clear about that lately.

 

My issue is I've lived through one Hell where I almost lost everything. So naturally I'm going to be cautious about every choice I make afterwords. I've said before that if it was just myself I had to watch after, I could manage. But because I have my 2 little ones who only have me, every choice I make is going to be scary. EVERYTHING I'm doing is for the well being of them. But as I now know, one wrong step with these meds and I can lose control and adverse effects out of my control can occur.

 

If I could take responsibility with a choice I make, and that choice leaves me bedridden, it's not just me it effects. I don't have the ability to just let myself lay down and heal. It would cause my husband to have to stay home, give up everything we've been working for, for something he absolutely doesn't understand. So I need confidence in my decisions. I need to know I'm making the right choice. I just have to. So yes, I question every move. I can't afford to make a mistake and backtrack.

 

So while I have all these people telling me to just taper faster (including my parents now), I'm having to fight against their opinions. So I come here for support in that. I think everyone has had the urge to get off these drugs faster. I'm sorry if I can't just decide to go slow and be done with it. I have these adverse effects from Prozac that are giving me so many issues, I'm having serious inattentive issues which as a mom to little ones, just don't mix well. So hearing people tell me "you really want to feel like this for months? Don't you think you should go down bit faster so you can get it over with?"

 

I KNOW a slow taper is safest, so forgive me if I'm doing everything I can to cut through this foggy, inattentive, emotional state I'm in to try and find more reassurance and confidence in staying at a slow taper. I'm trying to understand what's happening to me more, trying to build a real confident understanding. But the fog I'm dealing with makes it so hard to not only understand and make sense, but retain what I've learned.

 

So I'm sorry if you see this as frustrating. Please feel free to ignore my thread if you wish. However Petu, Meimei, and others seem to have shown actual concern for my situation and have helped me greatly so I hope I can continue to receive that. But if I'm too much of a pester to the site then I'll do you all a favor and leave. I apologize ahead of time if this is the case.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Member
cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Newbie

cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Posted
  • Member
Posted

Hi Sunny,

 

The best thing about this site is you are free to post or not post whatever you want in your own topic (except those things that will get you banned).

 

You may not have noticed this but Alto is already letting you know she won't be responding anymore.

 

Quote: "I cannot take responsibility for you. To be frank, I find your minute attention to your fear and indecision to be very frustrating. I believe you need some serious cognitive behavioral training (CBT) to manage your self-sabotaging tendencies. I don't think I can add much more here. I hope you don't mind if I do not respond any more in your topic. Good luck to you in your decisions." I think she's right. Of anyone, she has the patience of a saint but she can only spend so much time with any one person. This is a self help board. For more personalized care you should see a therapist.

 

And no, I don't think you quite got neuro emotions right. Maybe do some more reading?

 

And it is too bad you can't move home sooner. You need a break from endless ruminations on how to prevent things from happening that you are so sure will happen when you have been reassured a slow taper is likely going to prevent that. Symptoms and Self Care has lots of ideas that will help you get through it.

 

Good luck!

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
Petunia Newbie

Petunia

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

So I'm sorry if you see this as frustrating. Please feel free to ignore my thread if you wish. However Petu, Meimei, and others seem to have shown actual concern for my situation and have helped me greatly so I hope I can continue to receive that.

 

Hi Sunny,

Reading this comment, directed towards Alto really upsets me.  She has shown more concern for you than anyone, just look at the number of her responses to you in your thread.  She has the patience of a saint (in my opinion).  Perhaps she hasn't always written things you have wanted to hear, but please don't suggest she has no concern for you.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

So I'm sorry if you see this as frustrating. Please feel free to ignore my thread if you wish. However Petu, Meimei, and others seem to have shown actual concern for my situation and have helped me greatly so I hope I can continue to receive that.

 

 

Hi Sunny,

Reading this comment, directed towards Alto really upsets me.  She has shown more concern for you than anyone, just look at the number of her responses to you in your thread.  She has the patience of a saint (in my opinion).  Perhaps she hasn't always written things you have wanted to hear, but please don't suggest she has no concern for you.

It doesn't feel like concern when almost every post is her assuming I am looking for reasons to stay on medication, as if I'm asking this forum to tell me to stay on medication. Which I'm not doing in the slightest. I'm just trying to learn. I appreciate everything she has done for me that has been constructive. And I have nothing but respect for her and her awesome website meant to help those who have been guided wrongly. So I do not mean any ill thoughts towards her or anyone. It's just hard to be looking for support and answers to one thing, and then be answered to "if you want to stay on Prozac, just stay on it". That's not at all what I'm going for here.

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Member
cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Newbie

cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Posted
  • Member
Posted

Perhaps this will make it clearer:

 

Quote "I KNOW a slow taper is safest, so forgive me if I'm doing everything I can to cut through this foggy, inattentive, emotional state I'm in to try and find more reassurance and confidence in staying at a slow taper."

 

You can't seem to get enough reassurance is what we are trying to point out to you. If you still need more, print out your thread and read the assurances you have already been given and read them aloud to yourself many times a day till you believe them. Plaster them on sticky notes all over the house. Mail them to your friends and relatives. Or don't bother trying to convince them and just knuckle down and do something. Taper or don't taper. Go slow or go fast. Pee or get off the pot as they say.

 

What you don't see is that your reluctance to proceed implies you'd rather stay where you are. Alto can't answer your every question. You have to commit to something. You are committed to indecision. Hence Alto's suggestion you try CBT. You'd really benefit from it.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

Link to comment
Meimeiquest Newbie

Meimeiquest

Posted
Posted

Sunny, On a whole different note, a gym/rec center with childcare was a lifesaver to me when I had little ones in a strange town. Some, like the Y, have sliding scales. Or a jogging stroller that would hold them both. Hang in there!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to comment
sunnydays0912 Newbie

sunnydays0912

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Perhaps this will make it clearer:

 

Quote "I KNOW a slow taper is safest, so forgive me if I'm doing everything I can to cut through this foggy, inattentive, emotional state I'm in to try and find more reassurance and confidence in staying at a slow taper."

 

You can't seem to get enough reassurance is what we are trying to point out to you. If you still need more, print out your thread and read the assurances you have already been given and read them aloud to yourself many times a day till you believe them. Plaster them on sticky notes all over the house. Mail them to your friends and relatives. Or don't bother trying to convince them and just knuckle down and do something. Taper or don't taper. Go slow or go fast. Pee or get off the pot as they say.

 

What you don't see is that your reluctance to proceed implies you'd rather stay where you are. Alto can't answer your every question. You have to commit to something. You are committed to indecision. Hence Alto's suggestion you try CBT. You'd really benefit from it.

I'd like to make a point that I am aware of my indecisiveness. I think so much of it is simply from WD effects. It really is true that once I learn something that is very helpful and makes sense and let's me feel content, the mental fog comes in, and the connections I made are lost and I'm all confused again and feel I am searching for the same thing over and over. Hence my need of reassurance, and sometimes even making realizations I've made previously already. My memory is BAD. My attention span is BAD. My thoughts are so unclear. And my anxiety is back, which only makes me doubt everything.

 

And I have 2 cautions. 1 is I simply can not let WD get so bad that I lose most of my functioning. I can't do that to my family. So when WD gets bad, I get scared and fear I'll have to reinstate.

 

2 is trying to figure out if my symptoms are WD or adverse effects from Prozac. In which case, I think I may need to speed it up a little. This is the one that everyone is trying to stuff down my throat so I will "get better faster".

 

But what I want to do is stay where I am. But everyone pushing me makes me doubt and freak.

 

I do want CBT therapy. I'm still waiting for my psychologist to get back to me. I seriously do t know what the hold up is.

 

Meimei, I looked for a gym with child care here but the closest one is over 30 minutes away. Small town problems...I've continued to look for mom groups as well but the only one I've found you have to pay a membership fee...what the?

-Lexapro (5 or 10mg, can't remember) 2 years age 17-19 for "light social anxiety" ended late 2006. No issues coming off.

- 2008 Effexor XR 75mg after health induced Panic Attack. 21yo. Upon first dose extreme adverse reaction (sadness, crying spells, extreme physical agitation/anxiety) did eventually stabilize. Stayed on 3 months then tapered off very fast but no issue WDing.

Lexapro 20mg 6/2009 - 2/2014 due to PPD and unsuccessful WD attempts.

-Sep. 2013 stable and still doing fine on Lexapro but lost insurance so Dr CT switch from Lex 20mg to Celexa 40mg (supposed equivalent) claiming it's the "same drug just cheaper". My body didn't like the switch almost instantly, and I felt acute WD from Lex within days of the switch. Was unaware it was WD and adverse affect from the switch. Gave it 2 weeks to settle and stabilize. By end of 2 weeks I was falling completely apart mentally and emotionally. Pharmacist said I could switch back to Lexapro 20mg safely. Again, "it's the same drug"

-Oct. 2.5 weeks after med switch, switched back to Lexapro 20mg thinking everything would go back to normal. Woke up next morning to instant cortisol overload anxiety, physical and mental agitation to extreme levels, could not think, feel, do anything normally. Akathisia. Knew it had to be some kind of adverse reaction to the switch, but had no idea what to do other than continue taking it and hoping to stabilize. Proceeded to experience the worst 3-4 weeks of my life before finally stabilizing slowly.

-Nov. despite stabilizing for the most part, could feel something wasn't right, was not returning to old self, had moments of emotional amnesia with things I love most. Life stressor occurred and I crashed. Total poop-out in a moment and instant panic and adverse effects, depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion, physical fatigue.

Saw a GP who told me Lex was struggling to handle stress in life, needed to augment with Seroquel 25mg. Energy began to return, but depression worsened, began having suicidal mood swings, feelings like life was unbearable.

-December found SA and began Seroquel taper after taking it for a month. Felt signs of relief after just few days.

-Jan. 15th 2014 took last seroquel and began Prozac bridge. Complete Feb. 25th. Felt a couple weeks of WD from Lex, but otherwise stabilized.

-April 9th began 10% Homemade liquid Prozac taper. 40mg down to 36mg.

-Aug. 5th now down to 27.5mg. Feeling better than I did at 40mg.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
dalsaan Newbie

dalsaan

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

I think CW's suggestion is a good one, print off your thread, you could rearrange it in question and answer form so that you can 1) check whether you have already asked for input on a given issue and 2) re-read the answers to obtain the clarity and reassurance that you are looking for.

 

Its not possible to know for sure what's happening and what's the best way forward so your only choice is to act in the face of uncertainty.   Make a decision, listen to your body, tell everyone you are taking responsibility for your own health and then do it.

 

Its not helpful for Alto or anyone else to keep reassuring you over and over because it reproduces the idea that you can know whats happening and what to do with a great deal of certainty - you cant.

 

Everyone cares about you and is concerned about your wellbeing but its not in your best interest for us to reinforce your indecision.

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

Link to comment
  • Member
cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Newbie

cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Posted
  • Member
Posted

It's always something, Sunny. Some reason why you can't try what is suggested. None of us can help you with that.

 

Here's an idea: why don't you wait till your brain gets used to the Prozac and unfogs itself. Then come back here and start reading again. Stop asking so many questions that no one can answer. And if your family and friends ask why you aren't doing anything tell them you can't. You aren't ready yet. And then tell them to mind their own business. Or tell them to make the decision for you. But DO something.

 

We don't care what you do, just do something and stop asking questions. We don't have the answers.

 

I'm afraid I'm out the door behind Alto.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy

  I accept