WinningThrough Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 Thanks all. Sorry I'm not posting on threads at the moment. Sending hugs to everyone. We are all going to be ok. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Thanks all. Sorry I'm not posting on threads at the moment. Sending hugs to everyone. We are all going to be ok. Rooting for you! yes we are, we just have to endure! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Micromonster Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Hey, my little life saver! Don't feel pressured to write on threads, just look after yourself. Sending you hugs and xxxx's paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18 0mg july- present. Really struggling Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 Thanks JDM :-) Thank you micromonster! I was very glad to have given you the signpost to this site and I'm glad you're here xx The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 I've decided to post a day in the life of WinningThrough. Perhaps later on I will look back at this and see that I have improved. I'm scared of going for it and saying how I really feel. People may read it and be triggered. It feels like a bad thing for me to do, but I want a record of it. My days vary marginally. I'm either deep in this or slightly less deep in it but still very deep. Maybe one day I will be better and people going through this can see how it was for me and it may give them hope. I hope I won't regret posting it. I will start at bedtime and work from there. I go to bed relieved that I can escape the torture by sleeping but terrified of waking up the next morning feeling the same. I go to bed about midnight. I try to get in as comfortable a position as possible for sleeping and I jiggle my legs around trying to get myself still until sleep takes me. I wake around 2-3 hours later with a huge adrenaline surge, terror and horror. I'm boiling hot and sweating. I'm dreadfully thirsty. I get up to go to the bathroom and my brain is zapping like crazy. I'm dizzy. I then get water from the kitchen and drink loads to try to quench the crazy thirst. I feel the akathisia and want to scream. Sometimes I bite my pillow and scream into it. I wish I wasn't here. I go back to bed and go on my iPad with raging akathisia. Sometimes I go back to sleep and sometimes I'm awake for hours, sweating and wondering how I can get myself out of this state. My thoughts are racing as usual. Sometimes I wake up loads of times in the night, always incredibly thirsty and boiling hot. I always wake in the night. I go back to sleep in the mornings for a couple of hours. I know I'm lucky I can do this. The weird thing is that going back to sleep actually makes me feel even worse. Every time. Sometimes I wake early in the morning and feel a little less horrendous and then i go back to sleep, wake up and feel absolutely dreadful..worse. I always feel worse after going back to sleep. I guess that's a toxic nap. Before I'm properly awake, I lie as long as possible trying to stay half asleep so I don't have to face anything. Eventually I wake properly for the final time, knowing it's time for me to face the day. I think "Oh no! Please no! Please! Please! Not again, not again!" I'm boiling and sweating. My mouth tastes disgusting. I'm shaking internally. I'm thirsty. I'm terrified beyond belief. And, (sorry to mention this) desperately suicidal. I don't know how I'm going to get through another day. I wonder if I have actually died and gone to hell but not realised it. The akathisia is horrendous and I move my legs around like crazy. The adrenaline and indescribable feelings are surging in my stomach, legs and arms. I want to punch and kick the walls. I want to run and run and run but know that wouldn't relieve it and I'm too terrified to do it. I think of praying yet again. My chest feels tight. My head is blocked and full of pressure. Many times it feels like chemicals are trying to burst through my receptors but can't. I can't see properly. My vision is all off. My thoughts race and race and race. It's impossible to think or concentrate on anything with raging akathisia. Sometimes I go straight into a massive crying spell. I remember happier times and can't bear it. I try to go back in my head and change it all. I imagine getting the pills from the doctors but not taking them. Over and over and over. I go to the bathroom and get attacked by brain zaps. It astounds me that I've had these for almost 11 months. I feel dizzy - I always feel slightly dizzy and zappy in my head. I mutter something like "help me" or "I can't do this" to myself. I feel shaky all over. I feel like I'm in a horrendous acid trip 24/7 (I've never actually taken acid). My boyfriend is mostly here at weekends but during the week he is at work until around 7.30 at night and sometimes out in the evening. I can't bear the quiet. I switch the tv on for background noise and put a comedy on like Friends. I grab something to eat from the kitchen in my usual state of utter terror with the dark, suicidal feeling buzzing in my head. How did it come to this? I try to feel something good..anything, but I can't. Not only do I feel constant terror but I have no good emotions. They are cut off. No connection. I look at people I know and feel nothing. I have none of the feelings I am supposed to have. I wonder yet again if I'm somehow doing this to myself. But I know I'm not. I try to understand how I can't just be normal. Why can't I just get up and have a shower without thinking about it like I used to? Dressing gown clad, I sit on the sofa, curled up in a ball, and I eat something like an apple and some almonds. If I can cope I will boil an egg but often that is too much for me. The akathisia tortures me. Some days it shoots up my hands all day. It's always in my body, all the time. I jiggle my legs around and then begins my battle to get through another day. I wish I could chop off my legs to escape it but know that it would just go somewhere else in my body if I did. In my waves (I still can't really call my windows proper windows but I get slightly more functional days) I remain solidly on the sofa and spend the day on the phone (sometimes calling the Samaritans) play silly games on my iPad, come on here, look stuff up on the internet, read success stories, move my legs constantly, try to half watch the tv, say affirmations, stuff like that. I wish my eyes would focus properly on the tv like they used to. In the evening, everything is so overbright and almost psychedelic. The akathisia is always there and sometimes gets more intense. When I have hot flashes, it's worse than ever. I wonder how the heck to keep going like this and marvel at the fact I've made it this far. I wonder if this is hormonal as I have just gone through the menopause. But never through my peri menopause years did I ever feel anything remotely like this. The menopause would not do this. The darkness in my head is ridiculous. How can a brain create a perpetual state of darkness and sheer terror? How can it make a person feel suicidal for absolutely no reason? How can a body feel shaky all the time and full of inner turmoil? How can I look at something that's meant to be lovely and feel my stomach flip with terror and a nightmarish feeling? How is it that I sometimes feel normal in my dreams?? I remember who I was. Not that I can connect to memories. I can't explain that feeling of being disconnected from memories and from everything, really. I wonder where my soul went. I feel useless. Completely useless. I imagine that everyone in my life thinks I'm useless. People want me to stay here but I'm serving no purpose. I keep going knowing that eventually, this 'thing' we all suffer from improves. I'm so scared. Throughout the day, I get snacks from the kitchen. Healthy snacks. At least I can eat. I had about 3-4 months of intense nausea and retching at the beginning of all this. Since the seroquel, I can eat. Sometimes I try to force myself through the terror to do things. Sometimes I can't work out how to do simple things. The other day I wanted to put some washing gel in the washing machine. We had a new washing gel with a different lid and I couldn't work out how to get the lid off or put the gel in. I tried and tried but ended up sobbing because I couldn't do it and I gave up. Recently I couldn't work out how to change the channel on the TV. Many people talk of feeling better in the evenings. This doesn't happen for me. It's pretty much the same all the time. On my more functional days I force myself to do stuff. I force myself to have a bath (I can go days without washing or dressing) and dress. Sometimes a friend will visit. I then force myself to have a normal conversation and my head wants to explode with the stress of trying to do this. I try to keep still. I make coffee and tea for the visiting friend and they have no idea how ridiculously difficult it is for me to do something so simple. Friends will say something like "you know when you ... (Fill in the blank)" and I think "I remember how I used to feel like that but I don't anymore". I can't relate to the conversation at all but join in as best I can and I constantly think of how I would have answered questions in the past and the sort of conversation I would have had. They talk of things they've done and I think "I would have loved that." It's as if I'm not here anymore, not alive. Sometimes I wash clothes or hang them out or load the dishwasher. If anyone wants to visit I force myself to tidy/clean the house as best I can, shaking and sweating my way through it. Its so hard to do anything at all, so hard. I wish something would allow me to distract, anything. Distraction is only ever a matter of seconds. Sometimes I force myself out of the house. I have even driven at times. Sometimes I've eaten out with difficulty or walked round shops. Many times I feel I could just scream all day from the minute I wake until the minute I go to sleep. Really, it all just feels like varying degrees of one big wave with slightly better times here and there which are still absolutely not acceptable. That two day window I had before Christmas wasn't bad though. I feel I've still held back, but the above is a rough description of my life at the moment. I'm sure many people will recognise themselves in it. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
SelmaLady Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I am so ill right now that I can't really respond like I want to. But I want you to know how brave I think you are and that I am in a very similar place myself. I think so many of the thots that you do and am devasted at what has happened to me and to my life. I tell my husband over and over , "I used to be a person". I know you that will come through this and on to reclaim your life. I am praying for you. God give you strength and healing. Thank you so much for posting on my thread too. 1971-81 Valium 5mg c/t PAWS 1992- through now Zoloft 25mg 2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off 2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS 2013 O/D Val 230mg 2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg 3/15/16 Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper 3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 - Decreasing incrementally. DISCONTINUED 10/9/16 Doxepin 48.9 Zoloft 24.3 Clonidine 01.10 Continuing micro taper on Doxepin. 11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg Zoloft 24.3mg Clonidine 1.30mg 5/4/17 Doxepin 45mg Zoloft 24mg Clonidine 1.20mg Micro taper of Doxepin , Clonidine 01/13/19 Doxepin 45mg Zoloft 21mg Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19 12/21/21 Doxepin 20 mg ? Reducing using water micro taper--Pulling 24ml from 75ml 12/2121 Zoloft .060 grams by weight--HOLDING (info from post added by CC: On 12/21/21 my dosage was .060grams by weight or 20mg. ) 26 Apr 2022 - Zoloft at -0- Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Thank you SelmaLady for your beautiful post. I am so very sorry you feel so dreadful. I will keep trying to think you and others better. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
luv2knit Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Thinking of and praying for you, WT. You will get through this. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 <3 to you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I imagine our souls are at peace underneath all this even if we cannot feel it xxx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I will never meet anyone as strong as you Winning. I wish I could take it all away....it breaks my heart. Amazing lady, a true warrior. It will get better. I just know it will, I have always felt it will for you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Micromonster Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 im glad you've written your 'day in the life of'. remember you are anonymous on here, you can say what you want and I really believe it helps to get these things out. I just 'liked' a FB page called billy cox motivation, you might like it. you've done well to stay drug free for so long while going through such crap WD, not sure I could have done. xxx paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18 0mg july- present. Really struggling Link to comment
Micromonster Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 one of the billy cox quotes.......always remember, your present situation is not your final destination. the best is yet to come paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18 0mg july- present. Really struggling Link to comment
Pugknows Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Winning, your healing is right around the corner. You have suffered this torture long enough and God will help you. We will sit and comfort you in the meantime. (((Pug))) January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 Thinking of and praying for you, WT. You will get through this. Thank you luv. Thinking of and praying for you too. <3 to you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I imagine our souls are at peace underneath all this even if we cannot feel it xxx Thanks Joanna. I like the idea of our souls being at peace underneath all this. Take care . I will never meet anyone as strong as you Winning. I wish I could take it all away....it breaks my heart. Amazing lady, a true warrior. It will get better. I just know it will, I have always felt it will for you. Ah, thanks muddles. It means an awful lot to me to be called strong. You are really strong. Thank you. Winning, your healing is right around the corner. You have suffered this torture long enough and God will help you. We will sit and comfort you in the meantime. (((Pug))) Thank you for your thoughts and kindness pug. My thoughts are with you too. im glad you've written your 'day in the life of'. remember you are anonymous on here, you can say what you want and I really believe it helps to get these things out. I just 'liked' a FB page called billy cox motivation, you might like it. you've done well to stay drug free for so long while going through such crap WD, not sure I could have done. xxx Thank you micromonster. That FB page sounds good. Thanks for your kind words. I'm staying drug free as I got akathisia on the drugs and was dreadfully dreadfully ill on them from day one. one of the billy cox quotes.......always remember, your present situation is not your final destination. the best is yet to come I love that quote! Thank you. Kisses for all ... Xxxxxxx The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Micromonster Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Xx paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18 0mg july- present. Really struggling Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hi WT, I hope you have had some healing recently. I read your post about what it's like for you and it resonates so much with what I went through. You are so strong and have endured so much. It's so incredibly unfair what we are put through, but I just know you will recover. I pray it happens soon. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Winning, how are you doing today? Thinking of you. (((Hugs))) January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I took a new natural multivitamin this morning and broke out in hives all over my face and arms. I needed that like another hole in my head! January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hi WT, I hope you have had some healing recently. I read your post about what it's like for you and it resonates so much with what I went through. You are so strong and have endured so much. It's so incredibly unfair what we are put through, but I just know you will recover. I pray it happens soon. UnfoldingSky, thank you! I love you! This has really helped me. I know how much you went through and how much you have healed. Today isn't one of my worst ever days. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 I took a new natural multivitamin this morning and broke out in hives all over my face and arms. I needed that like another hole in my head! Oh no! That's just not fair. I hope you're ok, pug. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 1, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thank you for writing about your day WT, I'm so sorry you are going through all this too. Reading it helped me to feel less alone in my own nightmare, there are so many similarities. I've often felt overwhelmed and helpless with trying to open packaging, previously it would have been obvious what to do, but now, even the written instructions don't makes sense. There really are no words for this experience, but I think its important that we do keep writing about it the best we can, especially if it helps to get it out. Its going to get better. Six months ago, it was still really difficult for me to shower or get in the car and drive, but over the last 2-3 months, those things have become easier now. Things which were very difficult and extremely unpleasant to do a year ago, like going for a walk, shopping or just sitting outside have now become easier and at times, for a few seconds, maybe even a few minutes, some feelings of pleasure peep through, or if not pleasure, then at least some peace. I think that in 6 months you will be able to read what you wrote here recently and see how much recovery has happened. I'm glad you are having some less bad days. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thanks for your lovely reply, Petunia (I really like your new name). I'm glad this has helped you feel less alone. I often recognise myself in your posts too. I've been following your thread now and am seeing gradual improvements in you all the time. From now it will keep improving for you. Thank you for reminding me that things will get better. I like to think that things will become easier to do and will become more automatic over time. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
lexicon Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Hi dear WT Thinking about you, and stopping by to say that I am delighted that you are doing much better That is a blessing ♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥ Keep up the great work, soon this will be done, and it will be like a bad dream .. You will have your life back. Sending you love, and holding you in thought and prayer ♥ ♥ Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Ah, thanks Lexicon. Er, unfortunately I'm not doing much better. I'm still very much in the thick of it. I get days which are slightly less unbearable but still pretty much unbearable. Sorry this is so negative. I'm still very ill but I'm fighting. I feel bad saying that when you've just written that post but ... I'm afraid it's the truth. One day I hope to have better news. I hope you're doing ok, Lexi. X The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Pugknows Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Hi WT. I love you. In the midst of your own pain and suffering, you reached out and comforted me. What a kind and generous spirit you are. God smiles on people like you and your recovery is near. You will wake up one day very soon and you will not feel crummy. Period. You will no longer be suffering. It will be OVER. ((hugs)) January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Massive hugs, Pugknows. Your suffering will be over too. Thank you for your lovely words. I will hold on to them x The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I'm sorry you are suffering so. It seems like a great many people here are going through a rough rough time. I know you will get better. I hate it takes soooooo long!!! Im thinking of you and hoping you get a break soon. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Thank you JDM. Yes so many are suffering dreadfully. What a crazy existence (I can't remember how to spell that!) we are all having just now. It's certainly an experience! I hope you're coping ok JDM. Take care x The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 WT sorry to hear your suffering is still not relenting much, I just wanted to say I'm still thinking of you and hoping better days are just around the corner. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Canadiangirl Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hi there Winningthrough. A lot of what you posted for your day is a lot of what I am currently going through. Every night before bed I pray that in the morning things will be better. Usually they r not but I am like you and some days r a little more bareable. I was hit with a huge wave the last 2 weeks with numbness in my left side leg,arm and face. It comes and goes but still kind of scary. I has 2 small strokes about 5 yrs ago so it makes me scared I am having another. I was in the hospital for a cat scan and that was negative. Also had an mri to double check on Saturday so waiting on those results. I am usually lightheaded and dizzy throughout the day. Have no energy for anything half the time and it upsets me. I am in my bed for at least half the time I am awake and I am starting to feel pretty useless anymore. Now fir a week I have had a head cold that has worked it's way into my chest. Trying to avoid antibiotics through so hopefully I will get rid of it soon. I do a lot of stuff like you. I play some online games, check on here a few times a day and sometimes I can read a few pages in a book. Have a hard time getting in the shower but most days I make myself get dressed at least. Wake up in a panic a few times a night sweating and scared where a month ago I was sleeping all night for 7 or 8 hrs. Last night was bad I woke up 4 times in the night panicking and this morning I feel nauseous and shaky. I really just wanna cry really hard right now I feel so sad. Some days I feel like I can't win. I am only 9 months off of a fairly quick taper. I tapered from 10 mg of cipralex in 10 months. I did 1 mg a month and now it has caught up with me. I'll be thinking about you and praying you have better days. If you ever need to talk private message me I am always here. I started ssris around 2000 sorry I cant remember exactly everything and when but i will try Paxil from about 2000-2004 from 10 mg right up to 40 mg felt like it wasnt working THen I have been on Celexa from 2004-2007, then well butrin and abilify was thrown in somewhere up until 2010 tried to c/t off celexa a few times could do it.. went on Cymbalta from about 2010-2012 then had gastric bypass surgery so i wasnt absorbing it very well 2012-2014 went back to celexa then slowing between july 2013 and april 2014 weaned about 1 mg a month last dose taken was April 2014 And havent really felt that bad at all.. until recently 9 months out and wanted to start college i think this sent me into a wave...i suffered 2 strokes in the small part of my brain in around 2010 but they arent exactly sure when by the time we found them. I had c/t off my meds at that time and was given a triple dose of birth control pill to take for a few months ( so we think that could have caused them).. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Thank you Unfolding sky x Canadian girl..thank you for visiting my thread. I'm so sorry you are going through this nightmare. I'm very sorry to hear about your strokes. I hope your cold clears up soon. I really hope all this passes for your soon. Take good care of yourself. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Pugknows Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hi Winning! How are your symptoms today? Thinking of you. ((Hugs)) January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hi Pug. Lovely of you to ask after me. I really appreciate it. Thank you. I feel like I never have good news but I'm afraid everything is still exactly the same. How are you? The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Canadiangirl Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 We will get through this Winning. I will keep positive thoughts for both of us. Maybe one day we will wake up and will be cured. We have to think this way and try to have positive thoughts. I started ssris around 2000 sorry I cant remember exactly everything and when but i will try Paxil from about 2000-2004 from 10 mg right up to 40 mg felt like it wasnt working THen I have been on Celexa from 2004-2007, then well butrin and abilify was thrown in somewhere up until 2010 tried to c/t off celexa a few times could do it.. went on Cymbalta from about 2010-2012 then had gastric bypass surgery so i wasnt absorbing it very well 2012-2014 went back to celexa then slowing between july 2013 and april 2014 weaned about 1 mg a month last dose taken was April 2014 And havent really felt that bad at all.. until recently 9 months out and wanted to start college i think this sent me into a wave...i suffered 2 strokes in the small part of my brain in around 2010 but they arent exactly sure when by the time we found them. I had c/t off my meds at that time and was given a triple dose of birth control pill to take for a few months ( so we think that could have caused them).. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Yes absolutely. I work really hard at the positive thoughts and belief in healing. It will happen. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hugs xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
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