Zant808 Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 3/26/2018 - Today is a depressing date to remember in terms of an anniversary. I'm glad that it's the 27th as I'm typing this. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, ham, peas, salad, chocolate cake, chocolate donuts, milk, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:45 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 39 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted March 28, 2018 Author Share Posted March 28, 2018 3/27/2018 - I slept most of today away and eagerly counting down the days when I can make even the slightest reduction in Depakote Sprinkles again so I can feel like I'm accomplishing something with my life. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, ribs, salad, chocolate cake, chocolate donuts, milk, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 1:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 40 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
AliG Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 Hi Zant. I'm so sorry that you have had such a hard time with these drugs but I'm also wondering if you have ever thought about improving your diet as a way of helping yourself to cope and recover from this ... It can have quite an effect and I see that your diet is ... just awful ! It's carbohydrate heavy and full of dairy, gluten and sugar, which can be quite problematic not only to your health but particularly for your mind. I can understand, if you are not open to changing these things, at this time ... just saying. Each of us has to go at our own pace, and I understand that you have had more important things on your mind than diet, however it can have quite an impact when it comes to healing. If you are interested, please let me know and I can post some links ... if not, that's ok, too. I have a few more ideas about speeding up your progress, as well. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Zant808 Posted March 29, 2018 Author Share Posted March 29, 2018 3/28/2018 - I still slept most of today away and I did it at such odd and frequent napping intervals that I'm awake at 10:00 AM now. I'm not able to manage my time properly at all. It's affecting my work even though I'm working from home and I'm being hit hard financially and socially. I also have many difficult decisions for "last resort" types of treatments such as stem cell therapy. Basically I need to decide if I should go ahead and try something like that now knowing that I'm still taking three psychiatric medications that will probably undo the positive effects or should I wait up to three years to try it if I'm actually able to fully withdraw? My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, meatloaf, salad, lemon cake, chocolate donuts, milk, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:45 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 41 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 10:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted March 29, 2018 Author Share Posted March 29, 2018 On 3/28/2018 at 9:09 AM, AliG said: Hi Zant. I'm so sorry that you have had such a hard time with these drugs but I'm also wondering if you have ever thought about improving your diet as a way of helping yourself to cope and recover from this ... It can have quite an effect and I see that your diet is ... just awful ! It's carbohydrate heavy and full of dairy, gluten and sugar, which can be quite problematic not only to your health but particularly for your mind. I can understand, if you are not open to changing these things, at this time ... just saying. Each of us has to go at our own pace, and I understand that you have had more important things on your mind than diet, however it can have quite an impact when it comes to healing. If you are interested, please let me know and I can post some links ... if not, that's ok, too. I have a few more ideas about speeding up your progress, as well. I think diet played a huge part with my last successful taper from 25 different medications back in 2007. I based my old 2006 - 2007 withdrawal plan mostly on Catherine Creel's Yahoo Withdrawal and Recovery group but unfortunately she passed away a few years ago. I could definitely give changing my diet another try this time now that I've been hit by 40 different medications and I'm kindled. I would appreciate it any advice or links that you can send me. It's probably time that I learn to cook anyhow. I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted March 31, 2018 Author Share Posted March 31, 2018 3/29/2018 - I almost skipped this entry. Very busy day. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, prime rib, loaded baked potato, coleslaw, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: walking Quality of life: 4 out of 10 2:30 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 42 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted March 31, 2018 Author Share Posted March 31, 2018 3/30/2018 - I feel burned out. I sleep most of the day away although it's still a positive that I'm sleeping. There's just lots of stress. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, ravioli, garlic bread, salad, lemon cake, milk, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 43 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 1, 2018 Author Share Posted April 1, 2018 3/31/2018 - Another day where I just felt completely burned out and have no idea what I accomplished... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, boneless wings, potato skins, salad, lemon cake, chocolate donut, milk, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 44 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
AliG Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 On 9/26/2016 at 3:49 AM, Shep said: Instead, how about, "I'll go outside and play basketball, I'll get plenty of exercise and sunshine, and I may sleep or I may not. If I sleep, great. If not, I'll watch NetFlix, play video games, or rest quietly and let my body rest even if my mind can't." Over time, this mindset becomes your new normal and sleep will be less of an obsession. Zant. I've been reading through some of your thread which is long : and I'm so horrified for you, and what you have been through and can I just say how very sorry I am for what you have endured : what an injustice ... For now ~ the quote above, by Shep is good ~ get plenty of exercise and sunshine and don't worry about sleep.I had the exact same attitude ~ " if I sleep - all good, and if I don't , then so be it ". I honestly think that this attitude is what helped get me through ... I watched entire seasons of " Friends" and " Seinfeld" in the wee small hours of the morning. I also came on here to whinge about life and my symptoms ... and that support helped me through. I'm not saying it was easy ~ I also had akathisia and anyone that has experienced this " special kind of hell" can most assuredly identify. As I said previously, if you can cut down on the sugar ~ you will perhaps start to feel better in about 7 - 10 days once you can manage to break the addiction.This may be too much at once, and can be taken very slowly ~ I can understand if it is but if you do, just slow down. Taper. Once it is out of your life , you won't really miss it. I had the " withdrawal insomnia" and even now still struggle from time to time, so I feel like I have been through it enough to know what is going on: It's a process that takes so much time but when it becomes hindered or thwarted by drugs, you can take a step backwards. There is some initial pain ... but at the end of it is real restorative sleep, however ... even then , it can be patchy. It is something that you just keep working on, naturally and drug free. This starts from the drugs .... but can eventually be overcome, given time, patience and perseverance. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 2, 2018 Author Share Posted April 2, 2018 4/1/2018 - So glad the dual holiday is over... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, prime rib, corn, mashed potatoes, salad, lemon cake, chocolate donut, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 1:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 45 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 3, 2018 Author Share Posted April 3, 2018 4/2/2018 - The people you think are your friends are often the ones that can hurt you the most... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 6 and 9 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken taco, steak taco, beef taco, cheeseburger, chips, chocolate shake, chocolate brownie, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 1 out of 10 2:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 46 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted April 3, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 3, 2018 12 hours ago, Zant808 said: 4/2/2018 - The people you think are your friends are often the ones that can hurt you the most... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 6 and 9 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken taco, steak taco, beef taco, cheeseburger, chips, chocolate shake, chocolate brownie, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers Exercise: none Quality of life: 1 out of 10 2:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 46 of cutting to 500 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I'm sorry to hear you say the people you think are your friends are often the ones that hurt you the most. I have no friends where I live. I moved here almost 5 years ago because of my fiances job. It's a town of 600 people. If you aren't from here, you don't belong here and they let you know that. I really miss my friends and family. Maybe we can be friends here? At least we understand each other in WD. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 4, 2018 Author Share Posted April 4, 2018 4/3/2018 - I've bounced back already. Anger is a gift. I'll use my anger to fuel the changes I want in my life instead of turning it inward. Today is the first day of my reduction of Depakote Sprinkles from 500 mg to 475 mg. I expect to hold somewhere between 30 and 45 days. However, since this is only a 5% cut, I might pick up the pace a little because the window for getting stem cell therapy is closing soon. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, pork chops, salad, chocolate cookies, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, strawberry applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 1 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 5, 2018 Author Share Posted April 5, 2018 4/4/2018 - I'm getting very concerned about the accuracy of my scale and/or the accuracy of how the company that makes Depakote Sprinkles measures their doses in their pills. There used to always be .250 grams in each Depakote Sprinkles capsule which would mean that is the full 125 mg of Depakote. Now there's problems with taring the scale at times and when I try different pills, there's less than .250 grams in there, sometimes as low as .210 grams. I'm not sure what I should do at this point... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, spaghetti and clam sauce, salad, lemon cookies, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, strawberry applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 2 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 5, 2018 Author Share Posted April 5, 2018 On 4/3/2018 at 4:38 PM, Frogie said: I'm sorry to hear you say the people you think are your friends are often the ones that hurt you the most. I have no friends where I live. I moved here almost 5 years ago because of my fiances job. It's a town of 600 people. If you aren't from here, you don't belong here and they let you know that. I really miss my friends and family. Maybe we can be friends here? At least we understand each other in WD. Take care, Frogie xx Hey Frogie, I'm sorry to hear about your friend situation. I'm in the most densely populated area of the country and I still feel alone. I guess I've been going through a lot of the experience of "high school drama never ends" locally. Most of my friends are online so that automatically means they're scattered all over the world and most are really only interested in business related things really. So yes of course we can be friends on here. It's hard to find someone who really understands what we're going through with withdrawal. I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted April 5, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 5, 2018 39 minutes ago, Zant808 said: Now there's problems with taring the scale The battery might need changing. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted April 6, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 6, 2018 21 hours ago, Zant808 said: Hey Frogie, I'm sorry to hear about your friend situation. I'm in the most densely populated area of the country and I still feel alone. I guess I've been going through a lot of the experience of "high school drama never ends" locally. Most of my friends are online so that automatically means they're scattered all over the world and most are really only interested in business related things really. So yes of course we can be friends on here. It's hard to find someone who really understands what we're going through with withdrawal. I don't think anyone can be more isolated than me lol... That's great, being friends here. At least we will understand each other. I look forward to it. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 6, 2018 Author Share Posted April 6, 2018 4/5/2018 - I forgot to do this entry last night. I managed to find a Depakote Sprinkles capsule that had the proper amount of sprinkles in it. I still think something is up with the scale and I should probably just put in a new order today. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, hot dogs, french fries, key lime pie, lemon cookies, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, apple cinnamon snack bar, strawberry applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 12:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 3 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 6, 2018 Author Share Posted April 6, 2018 On 4/5/2018 at 12:25 AM, ChessieCat said: The battery might need changing. I might as well try and replace the battery now. I certainly hope the fix is really this simple although I'm glad these scales aren't that expensive to replace. I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 7, 2018 Author Share Posted April 7, 2018 4/6/2018 - Even after replacing the batteries, the scale is still giving me issues. I'm going to order a new one so I don't run into any problems with measuring. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, ribs, loaded baked potato, macaroni and cheese, key lime pie, lemon cookies, cheese crackers, apple cinnamon snack bar, strawberry applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 12:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 4 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted April 7, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Zant808 said: 4/6/2018 - Even after replacing the batteries, the scale is still giving me issues. I'm going to order a new one so I don't run into any problems with measuring. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, ribs, loaded baked potato, macaroni and cheese, key lime pie, lemon cookies, cheese crackers, apple cinnamon snack bar, strawberry applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 12:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 4 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep Sounds like you are about the same as you have been. I woke a a little nausea this morning. Don't know why? Hope you feel better soon. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 8, 2018 Author Share Posted April 8, 2018 4/7/2018 - Nothing much to say... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken, potato salad, corn, salad, key lime pie, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, apple cinnamon snack bar, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:45 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 5 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 9, 2018 Author Share Posted April 9, 2018 4/8/2018 - I certainly know that my bloodstream is getting low on Depakote because I had a terrible headache that lasted most of the day and one of the only positive things that Depakote does is that it stops headaches/migraines. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, corned beef, potatoes, carrots, key lime pie, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, apple cinnamon snack bar, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:45 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 6 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 11, 2018 Author Share Posted April 11, 2018 4/10/2018 - I skipped the 4/9/2018 entry because there were so many computer problems, the main one being complete loss of internet connectivity in my area. Today I had to wait until my main desktop computer was backed up and I'm not even sure if the backup to the external drive is intact. I also had my external USB hub burn out and I had to throw that in the garbage. And of course, I'm experiencing the same old medical crap as usual. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken marsala, salad, lemon cookies, cheese crackers, apple cinnamon snack bar, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 2 out of 10 11:45 PM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 8 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 4/12/2018 - I skipped the 4/11/2018 entry. I'm just frustrated at everything that is going on in my life. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken piccata, salad, lemon cake, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 2 out of 10 3:00 AM - 500 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 10 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 14, 2018 Author Share Posted April 14, 2018 4/13/2018 - I'm still frustrated at everything that is going on in my life. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, cheeseburgers, chicken sandwich, lemonade, chocolate shake, lemon cake, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, banana, applesauce Exercise: walking Quality of life: 4 out of 10 3:00 AM - 475 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 11 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 15, 2018 Author Share Posted April 15, 2018 4/14/2018 - I'm growing more and more impatient every day. I never feel like I'm accomplishing anything or have any purpose. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, cheeseburger, sweet potato fries, chocolate shake, lemon cake, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, banana, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 475 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 12 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 16, 2018 Author Share Posted April 16, 2018 4/15/2018 - I wish I could just be normal like the majority of the world. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, loin of pork, mashed potatoes, broccoli, lemon cake, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, banana, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 3:00 AM - 475 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 13 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted April 16, 2018 Moderator Share Posted April 16, 2018 4 hours ago, Zant808 said: 4/15/2018 - I wish I could just be normal like the majority of the world. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, loin of pork, mashed potatoes, broccoli, lemon cake, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, banana, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 3:00 AM - 475 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 13 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I'm glad you at least have a good appetite. I don't have much of one. I answered your PM when you get time. I hope you feel better soon. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 17, 2018 Author Share Posted April 17, 2018 4/16/2018 - Sigh... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, lemon cookies, chocolate donut, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:45 PM - 475 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 14 of cutting to 475 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 4/17/2018 - I decided to make another small (around 5%) cut from 475 mg to 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles. I will hold for about 30 days this time around since last time I could have just went from 500 mg to 450 mg initially for a 10% cut but opted for the smaller 5% cut instead. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken wings, corn, caesar salad, cupcakes, chocolate donut, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 1 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share Posted April 20, 2018 4/18/2018 - I had a very rare temporary reversal of PSSD symptoms likely due to the reduction of Depakote since I am below the therapeutic level and my dopamine isn't being destroyed as much by the drug. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken sandwich, skirt steak, stir fried vegetables, cupcakes, chocolate donut, banana, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 2 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 20, 2018 Administrator Share Posted April 20, 2018 Yep, drugs can cause sexual dysfunction on their own. Good to hear you're able to reduce the Depakote. Don't go too fast.... PS Keep to a regular sleep schedule where you go to bed when it's dark. Stay off the computer at night. This helps your nervous system. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share Posted April 20, 2018 4/19/2018 - Back to waiting until I can do another reduction... My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken sandwich, skirt steak, stir fried vegetables, key lime pie, chocolate donut, snack bars, banana, applesauce Exercise: none Quality of life: 4 out of 10 11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 3 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 21, 2018 Author Share Posted April 21, 2018 4/20/2018 - I went out into public for a long period of time. I don't think I've done that for a few weeks. I guess it was kind of a stress test on my system and I think I passed. My symptoms: PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia Summary and Schedule: Total sleep: somewhere between 7 and 10 hours Diet: bottled water, cereal, milk, shrimp, scallops, loaded baked potato, hush puppies, prime rib, chocolate cake, chocolate chip waffles, lemonade, iced tea, banana, applesauce Exercise: walking Quality of life: 4 out of 10 3:30 AM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 4 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil 8:00 AM - attempt to sleep I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Zant808 Posted April 21, 2018 Author Share Posted April 21, 2018 On 4/19/2018 at 9:27 PM, Altostrata said: Yep, drugs can cause sexual dysfunction on their own. Good to hear you're able to reduce the Depakote. Don't go too fast.... PS Keep to a regular sleep schedule where you go to bed when it's dark. Stay off the computer at night. This helps your nervous system. Yeah, for sure this medication cocktail is causing sexual dysfunction but I'm already back to full PSSD symptoms. Yeah, I can't go off the Depakote too fast. Back in 2016, I thought that when I was at 125 mg and no Depakote showed up in my Depakote level bloodwork, I could just rapidly drop off. I felt really balanced only to complete crash a few weeks later and went inpatient and was put on 6 medications before I could be released. I'm confident that I'll get off the Depakote Sprinkles this time around but I have little confidence about getting off the Klonopin and Anafranil. But I have to take things slowly and one medication at a time, so I cannot worry about the more difficult challenges ahead. I wish I could keep a regular sleep schedule. I usually work all night on the computer until my system is finally able to crash. My brain is really messed up and has no concept of a circadian rhythm. That's why went I went to Vegas last month and had a simple 3 hour time shift, I couldn't sleep much at all. I'm also torn about what to do with stem cell therapy and PSSD treatment. I think it's probably a waste to try it now while I'm on these medications still but in 3 years what will the state of stem cell therapy be and will the only doctor on the planet who is successfully treating PSSD be working still? I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s. All doctors would cold turkey me from medications. I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one. I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages. I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged. The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin. However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds. I want to try to get off everything now once again. I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me. UPDATE: I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years. May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist. I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage. Current meds: 1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin Current side effects: PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth Link to comment
Recommended Posts