SelmaLady: How do I do this?

[SelmaLady]

How are you? You have been on my mind all day.

We were posting at the same time.

 

Blessings to you for praying today.  As I said, I don't know how I survived.  I really didn't think I could endure it.  I spent the majority of the day pacing, begging, sobbing.  But tonight is sooooooooo much better.  My mind is clear.  The akathisia while still there, is allowing me to sit at least.  I can't believe how your brain could go to so many drastic places and then come back again as tho nothing had happened.  I'm expecting to have some wakenings again tonight but I just try to tell myself that all I need to do is to rest.   Its hard when you wake up to akathisia but I can do it if I just let myself accept and not fight with it.  I'm trying not to anticipate but let it come as it will.  What choice to we have really?  That's the most frightening and what I have to turn away from thinking about all the time... 

[Wildflower0214]

I'm glad to hear you are a bit improved!!! That is great. Yes, I replay the choices I have made too, and how I got here. I actually was doing ok till I did a major diet change without knowing the consequences and it has been like a wild roller coaster ride ever since then, and some more mistakes along the way with OTC meds. We have no choice but to go with the flow, as you have said. I for one am sick of it! But, praying. glad you like the song. It came out about a week before my life went down the crapper last spring. It helps me a lot. God gave me Psalm 73:26 when all of this started. It has also helped me a great deal. Love you! Keep fighting the good fight selma! Xoxoxo

[luv2knit]

Yes... If only we had known. Prayers.

[LoveandLight]

Glad to hear your doing better x

[luv2knit]

 

 

How are you? You have been on my mind all day.

We were posting at the same time.

 

Blessings to you for praying today. As I said, I don't know how I survived. I really didn't think I could endure it. I spent the majority of the day pacing, begging, sobbing. But tonight is sooooooooo much better. My mind is clear. The akathisia while still there, is allowing me to sit at least. I can't believe how your brain could go to so many drastic places and then come back again as tho nothing had happened. I'm expecting to have some wakenings again tonight but I just try to tell myself that all I need to do is to rest. Its hard when you wake up to akathisia but I can do it if I just let myself accept and not fight with it. I'm trying not to anticipate but let it come as it will. What choice to we have really? That's the most frightening and what I have to turn away from thinking about all the time...

[luv2knit]

I missed this post. Glad to hear you are a bit better. Yes, the akathisia is difficult to wake up to, and I was doing it all night as well. Hopefully we can both see a bit of a break today.

[chia1214]

SL said "For me, with all that has happened and all that I have to experience every day, the constant care of my husband is absolutely from Him.  My husband never gets tired of helping me in any way that he can including walking with me, rubbing my arms, singing hymns to me while I shower. cooking absolutely fantastic meals (this is a miracle in itself in that he couldn't cook well AT ALL until I got so sick--now he's making homemade everything), telling me over and over and over that I can recover and get back a life that is worth living.  He will interrupt anything that he is doing to help me when I need it.  This was NOT my husband pre-illness.  So I know that God is with me in my husband.  And I need every bit of it just to breathe each day.   I feel so guilty and damaging that he has to do this, that this is his life too.  But he tells me that this is where God wants him and he is not feeling victimized but rather, this is where God would have him.  I've been praying that I would have a more comfortable afternoon so that he would be able to watch the Superbowl.."

 

Hi SL - I just read your thread and want to add my support along with all your other friends here. I quoted you here because I am so impressed with the care your husband gives. God surely is with your husband. And mine as well. My DH is my rock, but he doesn't sing hymns to me in the shower! He does read scripture to me every day. I'm also impressed with how you (and others) can describe your experiences while going through them. I can't figure out what to post and I'm in a bit of a calm at the moment. But I am working on getting something new in my thread today, just so it's not a blank page 5 years down the road!

 

I thought of all the prayers I've seen here, and this scripture passage came to my mind from 1 Thes. 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each up one another just as you also are doing." Nice to see this being lived out here. Blessings. -- Chia

[SelmaLady]

JDM, Luv and Joanna,  thank you so much for your encouragements and caring.  I love you all, I truly do. 

 

I was so scared that I would be up most of the night again, but I actually slept all night with the exception of massaging out a foot spasm that I get often.  It feels as tho there is a cord under my skin that pulls my foot to my ankle.  I have to rub it really hard until it relaxes--never had that before the peniicllin.  But I went right back to sleep and slept til 4:30 which is good for me. 

 

Today I have had much less intense akathisia but the feelings of being insane and on an acid trip have increased to the point where I try to just stay on a computer game or Scrabble and look up at the tv screen from time to time, period. 

 

I did have a few moments of some clarity and managed to get an email off to my youngest daughter that sounded like I was just fine and nothing new to report!  She just doesn't want to deal with this, we had a fun relationship and that's nowhere to be found now.  She emails me newsy letters which I do want, I want to know what is happening in hers and my grandkids lives.  But at the same time, it tears the heart out of my chest that I can't be part of it.  I have to give that to God over and over and over.  I love my family so much and miss them with such terrible pain.  I know lots of us are feeling that too.

[SelmaLady]

SL said "For me, with all that has happened and all that I have to experience every day, the constant care of my husband is absolutely from Him.  My husband never gets tired of helping me in any way that he can including walking with me, rubbing my arms, singing hymns to me while I shower. cooking absolutely fantastic meals (this is a miracle in itself in that he couldn't cook well AT ALL until I got so sick--now he's making homemade everything), telling me over and over and over that I can recover and get back a life that is worth living.  He will interrupt anything that he is doing to help me when I need it.  This was NOT my husband pre-illness.  So I know that God is with me in my husband.  And I need every bit of it just to breathe each day.   I feel so guilty and damaging that he has to do this, that this is his life too.  But he tells me that this is where God wants him and he is not feeling victimized but rather, this is where God would have him.  I've been praying that I would have a more comfortable afternoon so that he would be able to watch the Superbowl.."

 

Hi SL - I just read your thread and want to add my support along with all your other friends here. I quoted you here because I am so impressed with the care your husband gives. God surely is with your husband. And mine as well. My DH is my rock, but he doesn't sing hymns to me in the shower! He does read scripture to me every day. I'm also impressed with how you (and others) can describe your experiences while going through them. I can't figure out what to post and I'm in a bit of a calm at the moment. But I am working on getting something new in my thread today, just so it's not a blank page 5 years down the road!

 

I thought of all the prayers I've seen here, and this scripture passage came to my mind from 1 Thes. 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each up one another just as you also are doing." Nice to see this being lived out here. Blessings. -- Chia

Chia, so grateful for your support.  And it is good to know that your husband is on your side too and walking with you through this.  I think it takes a very special kind of person to walk through the long agonizing recovery with us.  I have just believed that God knows I am not strong enough in any way to do this w/o constant support. 

 

I loved the scripture == I do think that God is blessed by our upholding each other.  I think that's what the church was meant to do.  I hadn't thot about it before but now I see that we ARE a church here.  God is not limited to buildings and choirs, huh? 

 

I'm not really familiar with your journey through this , I'll go look now.  Blessings to you.

[luv2knit]

Thanks for the update. Glad you are doing a little better. Praying you continue to see some relief. (No, God is not limited to buildings.)

 

You've mentioned the Scrabble and computer games before. Details, please. I'd like to look into this.

[SelmaLady]

Luv, how are you today?  So hoping that some of the intensity from the magnesium is dissipating.  It is so hard to be so completely vulnerable to the smallest change.  

 

I am on the Big Fish Games site :  www.bigfishgames.com

[luv2knit]

SL--Yes, I think the effects of the mag. are dissipating. I'm not sure that was the entire problem the last couple of days, but everything seems to be returning to baseline, so I'm hopeful.

 

I'll check out the game site. I didn't know if you were doing stuff on FB or what, and I've never heard of that one. Thanks!

[Rhiannon]

IS THERE A MOD WHO CAN HELP SELMALADY WITH THESE QUESTIONS?! Don't know where to go or what to do to get help?!

 

Luv, we're just human beings like you, most of us hundreds or thousands of miles away. None of us get paid a penny for what we do here. We're just as helpless and frustrated and concerned as you are. Please don't yell at us. (Or, in case you didn't know, on the Internet all caps is yelling.)

 

Selma, I don't really have anything to add other than the stuff I've already said. My hunch is that although at this time you do feel the meds are doing you harm (and it's your body so you should know), right now changing anything med wise would do you even more harm. But I could be wrong.

 

The stuff I know I do know pretty well, based on working with, over the years, probably a few hundred different people at one time or another. (Tapering, stabilizing, working with our body/brains to help them heal, that sort of thing.) But I've never encountered the kind of cognitive changes you're having before, and that's waaaay over my head. If you are really concerned about the visual field/cognitive changes you're having, and of course you are, have you thought about seeing a neurologist? Just to get basic testing and rule out anything other than the psych meds as the cause.

 

You're in that difficult situation that people sometimes find themselves in, where reducing the drugs causes unbearable symptoms, but it seems like taking them is also causing bad symptoms too.  It looks like you are very sensitive to changes in medication. Usually what works for people in that situation is to just stop changing things for a while, sometimes a long while, sometimes even six months to a year, to keep things as stable as possible.  Generally when things go haywire, I advise to just lay low, keep a stable life, don't change meds, and let your body's wisdom sort it out.

 

But I can't promise that that's the best advice for you right now, because you're having symptoms I have no prior experience with. I could be wrong in your case.

 

I'm sorry, if I had any other tricks to pull out of my hat, I would have told you about them long before now.

 

I'm sure you've looked through our Symptoms and Self Care section. I would focus there right now if I were you-- at least you might get some minor relief.

 

Since you had so much worsening after taking penicillin, you might want to take a look at the GAPs diet, which helps to stabilize intestinal bacteria, which (it turns out) actually affect our nervous system, emotions, etc. a lot. (There's tons of stuff on the Internet about this, it's a currently new and popular line of research; I doubt you're in any condition to be reading that stuff but if you want to, try looking at "enteric nervous system microbiome" and "gut brain").

 

Or at least, if you haven't already, make sure you're getting probiotic foods in your diet. If I were you I'd be careful about actual probiotic capsules or powders or whatever, they may be too strong for you right now, so if you try those, use only a tiny bit and take them with yogurt or kefir.

 

I use the magnesium spray oil to absorb through the skin. If your gut is destabilized, oral magnesium can be problematic, but epsom salt baths might be okay.

 

I know that's not much, but that's all I have for you. I hope you know that I am so, so, SO sorry for your suffering, and so angry that the ignorance and arrogance and greed of our medical-pharmaceutical complex has done this to you.

[luv2knit]

 

 

IS THERE A MOD WHO CAN HELP SELMALADY WITH THESE QUESTIONS?! Don't know where to go or what to do to get help?!

Luv, we're just human beings like you, most of us hundreds or thousands of miles away. None of us get paid a penny for what we do here. We're just as helpless and frustrated and concerned as you are. Please don't yell at us. (Or, in case you didn't know, on the Internet all caps is yelling.)

 

Selma, I don't really have anything to add other than the stuff I've already said. My hunch is that although at this time you do feel the meds are doing you harm (and it's your body so you should know), right now changing anything med wise would do you even more harm. But I could be wrong.

 

The stuff I know I do know pretty well, based on working with, over the years, probably a few hundred different people at one time or another. (Tapering, stabilizing, working with our body/brains to help them heal, that sort of thing.) But I've never encountered the kind of cognitive changes you're having before, and that's waaaay over my head. If you are really concerned about the visual field/cognitive changes you're having, and of course you are, have you thought about seeing a neurologist? Just to get basic testing and rule out anything other than the psych meds as the cause.

 

You're in that difficult situation that people sometimes find themselves in, where reducing the drugs causes unbearable symptoms, but it seems like taking them is also causing bad symptoms too. It looks like you are very sensitive to changes in medication. Usually what works for people in that situation is to just stop changing things for a while, sometimes a long while, sometimes even six months to a year, to keep things as stable as possible. Generally when things go haywire, I advise to just lay low, keep a stable life, don't change meds, and let your body's wisdom sort it out.

 

But I can't promise that that's the best advice for you right now, because you're having symptoms I have no prior experience with. I could be wrong in your case.

 

I'm sorry, if I had any other tricks to pull out of my hat, I would have told you about them long before now.

 

I'm sure you've looked through our Symptoms and Self Care section. I would focus there right now if I were you-- at least you might get some minor relief.

 

Since you had so much worsening after taking penicillin, you might want to take a look at the GAPs diet, which helps to stabilize intestinal bacteria, which (it turns out) actually affect our nervous system, emotions, etc. a lot. (There's tons of stuff on the Internet about this, it's a currently new and popular line of research; I doubt you're in any condition to be reading that stuff but if you want to, try looking at "enteric nervous system microbiome" and "gut brain").

 

Or at least, if you haven't already, make sure you're getting probiotic foods in your diet. If I were you I'd be careful about actual probiotic capsules or powders or whatever, they may be too strong for you right now, so if you try those, use only a tiny bit and take them with yogurt or kefir.

 

I use the magnesium spray oil to absorb through the skin. If your gut is destabilized, oral magnesium can be problematic, but epsom salt baths might be okay.

 

I know that's not much, but that's all I have for you. I hope you know that I am so, so, SO sorry for your suffering, and so angry that the ignorance and arrogance and greed of our medical-pharmaceutical complex has done this to you.

[luv2knit]

My apologies, Rhi. My intent was not to "yell", but to attract attention. I know y'all are busy, and do not have time to read every post on here.

[SelmaLady]

Rhi, thank you for going over my history.

 

From a previous post which I have been reading over, you had said that you had seen many people with as severe a reaction as I and they had all gone to heal to at least a livable place.  Do you not feel that here?  I know that I am an anomaly, but do you not think that my brain can heal from this?  Alto had previously posted that she feels it is a drug interaction between the Zoloft and the Doxepin.  I feel it began with the Afrin upreg and that my brain has never been able to calm from that.

 

You must know that I need hope to believe that my brain can at some point, recover.  If there is no hope for that, then I don't see how I can go on.  I did have an MRI in the hospital after the O/D which was completely normal.  At that time I had already begun to have an upreg in my visual perceptual and my DR/DP.  So I don't see that another MRI would produce different results. 

 

I had PM'd  Alto, but she did want to answer a PM.  Have you spoken with her about this?  I need to have hope. 

[WinningThrough]

Hi Selma lady. I think you said earlier that you healed a long way from your valium ct and still had some symptoms but were very functional and able to enjoy life. If you got there before you can again. You can get back there. And when you are there, you can heal further.

[SelmaLady]

Hi Selma lady. I think you said earlier that you healed a long way from your valium ct and still had some symptoms but were very functional and able to enjoy life. If you got there before you can again. You can get back there. And when you are there, you can heal further.

((WT))  So grateful for your reminder that I have recovered in the past.  I so needed to see something hopeful.  I will copy and paste to my desktop and read it over and over when I am w/o any ability to think clearly .   I know the courage it takes for you to get through each day and I remind myself of your fight when I want to give up on mine.  xoxo

[Meimeiquest]

Easy for me to say, but I vote for seeing both a neurologist and ophthalmologist. I don't think they can solve your issues, or even identify them. But sometimes you can find little crumbs that guide you to the next clue. Sometimes just one comment can link to another and bring you to a new arena. Or not. My journey has been much easier, but so many times I have told my husband, we are on a journey without.a path.

[luv2knit]

Praying that God will give you the assurance you need that you will get better. ((Hugs))

[SelmaLady]

Praying that God will give you the assurance you need that you will get better. ((Hugs))

Grateful for your prayers.  

[SelmaLady]

I have no idea what to do.   Please pray that God will give direction.  I'm having intense akathisia and PGAD and am in a very dark and frightening place.  I'm trying to just breathe in and out and stay in the moment only but with akathisia comes the mind racing and the deep pull to do something to get out of the pain.  How do I go on, I don't know. 

 

I read a post on someone else's thread who had PGAD and really not that severe.  There was a post by a moderator to her to stop saying that she can't do this, that there are lots of people suffering who are doing it.  But I wonder if she ever had this or akathisia.  And a brain that is submerged in unreality and loss of all connection to anything.  We cannot judge another whose sufferings we have not experienced.  

 

Psalm 22:11
Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.

[Pugknows]

My prayers are that God listens to all of us suffering and grants our wishes to be delivered from this pain now.

[Pugknows]

Please hang in there SL. God is listening.

[luv2knit]

Yes, SL, please hang in there. I'm sure some of the mods are more experienced in certain areas than others. I've not had much contact with the mods myself, but I'm sure they try very hard.

 

My akathisia is worse today too... Much worse!

[SelmaLady]

Thank you Pug.  I know He is here with me.  I am just in a very bad place. 

[SelmaLady]

Yes, SL, please hang in there. I'm sure some of the mods are more experienced in certain areas than others. I've not had much contact with the mods myself, but I'm sure they try very hard.

 

My akathisia is worse today too... Much worse!

I didn't mean to say that the mods aren't doing the very best they can.  Of course they are.  What a huge responsibility to have to help and encourage all these suffering people while in suffering themselves.  I just hope that we can all be understanding with each other when we are in great pain and great fear and need only to know that we can get better.  So much of the time, no matter how objectively we seem to be posting, the first thing we need desperately to see is that we can get better,,,over and over and over till we get there.  Our brains when this ill, just can't hold onto that belief.  We so badly need others, especially mods, to reassure that we can recover.  This mod did tell this person that she would recover and in fact, she did.  And maybe sometimes when we are hysterical with fear, we do need tough talk to bring us back to the reality of a brain that is in chaos but can and will get better. 

 

Oh Luv, I will be praying so hard that this backs down.  One moment at a time today for both of us. 

[luv2knit]

Sorry, I know you weren't meaning to speak badly about the mods--and I wasn't either. I will just shut my mouth, rather than trying to explain what I meant. Always sticking my foot in it seems.

 

I'm definitely right there with you. I definitely need reassurance that I will get better too. I think we all would like that.

 

Praying for both (all) of us!

[Rhiannon]

My apologies, Rhi. My intent was not to "yell", but to attract attention. I know y'all are busy, and do not have time to read every post on here.

 

:-) I figured. I'm just such an Internet rat since forever (well 1995 anyway) that I didn't know if you knew that people like me read all caps as shouting.

 

We aren't really any more likely to notice all caps, there's no way from outside the thread to see that, and once we're in the thread we're generally skimming all the text regardless.

 

We have so much to do that we often don't come back to a thread if we feel we have given our best advice already and there's nothing we can really add at that point. At least, I should speak for myself, that's what I do. But I'm sure I miss a lot of places where I could be helpful. Unfortunately this is not a profit-earning activity so we all have jobs and what have you on the outside.

 

Rhi, thank you for going over my history.

 

From a previous post which I have been reading over, you had said that you had seen many people with as severe a reaction as I and they had all gone to heal to at least a livable place.  Do you not feel that here?  I know that I am an anomaly, but do you not think that my brain can heal from this?  Alto had previously posted that she feels it is a drug interaction between the Zoloft and the Doxepin.  I feel it began with the Afrin upreg and that my brain has never been able to calm from that.

 

You must know that I need hope to believe that my brain can at some point, recover.  If there is no hope for that, then I don't see how I can go on.  I did have an MRI in the hospital after the O/D which was completely normal.  At that time I had already begun to have an upreg in my visual perceptual and my DR/DP.  So I don't see that another MRI would produce different results. 

 

I had PM'd  Alto, but she did want to answer a PM.  Have you spoken with her about this?  I need to have hope. 

 

Selma, I have seen people in incredibly terrible shape go on, over time and with lots of determination and good self care, to recover into lives that are happy and very satisfactory to them. The brain is capable of amazing healing. I'd recommend you take a look at The Brain That Changes Itself by (I think) Norman Doidges (or something like that).

 

Gianna Kali of Beyond Meds was in at least as bad shape as you are right now at one time, about five years ago. She was bedbound for several years. She's doing really well now. You might take a look at some of her older stuff about her journey.

 

I have seen a lot of people come back from really awful suffering. It can take a long time. I guess 7 or 8 years is about the longest I've heard of, most folks notice significant improvement by 3 years or so. And not everyone feels like they get back to 100%, but pretty much everyone gets to a place where they feel satisfied with their improvement and feel good about their lives and are really glad they're alive.

 

And yes, these are people who were suffering as badly as you are, at least from what I can tell from your descriptions. It's horrible what these drugs can do to us.

[SelmaLady]

 

My apologies, Rhi. My intent was not to "yell", but to attract attention. I know y'all are busy, and do not have time to read every post on here.

 

:-) I figured. I'm just such an Internet rat since forever (well 1995 anyway) that I didn't know if you knew that people like me read all caps as shouting.

 

We aren't really any more likely to notice all caps, there's no way from outside the thread to see that, and once we're in the thread we're generally skimming all the text regardless.

 

We have so much to do that we often don't come back to a thread if we feel we have given our best advice already and there's nothing we can really add at that point. At least, I should speak for myself, that's what I do. But I'm sure I miss a lot of places where I could be helpful. Unfortunately this is not a profit-earning activity so we all have jobs and what have you on the outside.

 

Rhi, thank you for going over my history.

 

From a previous post which I have been reading over, you had said that you had seen many people with as severe a reaction as I and they had all gone to heal to at least a livable place.  Do you not feel that here?  I know that I am an anomaly, but do you not think that my brain can heal from this?  Alto had previously posted that she feels it is a drug interaction between the Zoloft and the Doxepin.  I feel it began with the Afrin upreg and that my brain has never been able to calm from that.

 

You must know that I need hope to believe that my brain can at some point, recover.  If there is no hope for that, then I don't see how I can go on.  I did have an MRI in the hospital after the O/D which was completely normal.  At that time I had already begun to have an upreg in my visual perceptual and my DR/DP.  So I don't see that another MRI would produce different results. 

 

I had PM'd  Alto, but she did want to answer a PM.  Have you spoken with her about this?  I need to have hope. 

 

Selma, I have seen people in incredibly terrible shape go on, over time and with lots of determination and good self care, to recover into lives that are happy and very satisfactory to them. The brain is capable of amazing healing. I'd recommend you take a look at The Brain That Changes Itself by (I think) Norman Doidges (or something like that).

 

Gianna Kali of Beyond Meds was in at least as bad shape as you are right now at one time, about five years ago. She was bedbound for several years. She's doing really well now. You might take a look at some of her older stuff about her journey.

 

I have seen a lot of people come back from really awful suffering. It can take a long time. I guess 7 or 8 years is about the longest I've heard of, most folks notice significant improvement by 3 years or so. And not everyone feels like they get back to 100%, but pretty much everyone gets to a place where they feel satisfied with their improvement and feel good about their lives and are really glad they're alive.

 

And yes, these are people who were suffering as badly as you are, at least from what I can tell from your descriptions. It's horrible what these drugs can do to us.

 

Thank you so much Rhi for these badly needed encouragements.  I will read this over and over.  I have the book you mentioned and it really does give hope of brain healing.  I know how busy you are and know that this was sacrificial of you to post this.  Take good care of yourself too.

[luv2knit]

Thank you for the info., Rhi. Very useful for me as well. We appreciate all you (all the mods) do.

[Rhiannon]

Our brains seem to have trouble thinking anything but dark thoughts when we are in withdrawal. Even people who have pretty solid windows find that during a wave they can't remember the windows, or it doesn't seem real to them, or something.

 

It just feels like it's always been this way and it's going to be this way forever.

 

And that is actually another symptom of withdrawal. Because in actual fact the most UNlikely thing is that things will never change. Things always change.

 

I find it helpful to print out hopeful stuff or even just write notes to myself and stick them up on the wall, so if you see something that gives you hope, you might just print it out, maybe multiple copies, and just put them where you can't miss seeing them.

 

And don't worry if it doesn't really change how your brain is thinking. Just try to be a little aware, if you can, from time to time, that your actual hopeless thoughts are actually withdrawal symptoms at this point and do not reflect reality.

[WinningThrough]

Thanks Rhi for those messages. I'm writing them in my journal.

[SelmaLady]

Thank you Rhi.  I've copied this to my desktop.

 

Horrible agonizing day:  PGAD is raging and reality is nowhere and mind is racing.    I'm thinking that I need to hold to see what my brain can do to bring some lessening of symptoms.  Trying so hard to let this be.  Can manage the "mental/perceptual" stuff mostly but the PGAD is beyond doing anything but pacing and and repeating the same thing over and over, "Please God".  Still here at nearly 7 --- always before it had receeded by now.  So frightened of this.

[WinningThrough]

Hi SelmaLady

 

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I don't know if this helps. I'm not sure if I had PGAD exactly but I had something like it. Sorry to be so graphic but if it helps I will say it. I had, er, a severe akathisia feeling down below. It was absolute hell. I felt like I was carrying hell down there all the time. It was just dreadful. Really, really severe. I remember trying to have conversations with people, all the while feeling it. I had that symptom for around 3 months, I think, and then it just wasn't there anymore. I honestly don't know what made it go away. It just did. I hope this helps.

[luv2knit]

I know how terrifying it is when nighttime (bedtime) approaches and symptoms that usually decrease by that time are still ramped up. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Praying this eases off for you soon, and that God will give you peace.