Pennylane34 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Hi everyone! I was on Paxil Progress since 2011. I was on SSRIs from 1999-2011-approx 12 years. My final years were on Prozac. I came off COMPLETELY during a quick taper in September of 2011. I suffered -headaches -vertigo -sound sensitivity -light sensitivity -brain fog -extreme exhaustion -insomnia -heart palpitations -suidical depression -extreme anxiety -extreme OCD -allergies -IBS -food allergies -Dangerous Rage -hysterical crying multiple times a day -complete feeling of doom, misery and hopelessness -Fear -Nightmares/Night terrors -Apathy -anhedonia -memory problems Okay. So those were SOME of my symptoms! There was a **** ton more and I don't remember them all lol however I will say this---my physical symptoms have never FULLY went away---cause I have adrenal/thyroid problems caused by this w/d. I am treating that with acupuncture and homeopathy and they ARE and HAVE gotten better! What I want to say I FULLY recovered from is ALL the excruciating mental symptoms. Every single one is gone! This is coming from someone who had depression and OCD PRIOR to drugs. I am EVEN better now then I was before the drugs! I am 100% mentally and emotionally better. My last wave was in July of 2014. So I would have to say I believe I am out of the woods now. I just feel at ease, at peace and happy. I am loving my life now! I have everything to live for and I am SO grateful for the experience of being on drugs/going through the withdrawal (where I contemplated suicide multiple times) to where I am now! I have a HUGE appreciation for life due to this experience. I want you to feel better and excited about the life your gonna live once your withdrawal is done! And even right now, appreciate and accept where you are. I want you to believe in yourself. I NEVER thought I was going to recover. Believe me, if I can, anyone can! God bless! You will make it to the other side. 1
justwanttobefree Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You are an absolute angel for posting this Pennylane34. You have no idea what it means to me. I just did a CT withdrawal off prozac 5.5 months ago and if you read my thread I have identical symptoms to what you listed. Bless you and thank you ❤️???? Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point.
Lexy Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Thanks for inspiring the rest of us that are suffering. We have something to live for. Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg. Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45 Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89
Purplestars22 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you so much for writing this it is very encouraging and uplifting. That is amazing that you feel 100% well and hope to be there one day. I hope you write your sucess story soon. Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety Failed attempt to stop reinstated 1 year taper skipping doses Celexa free 12/2013 1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only
pieuw Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! started on 10mg Sipralexa (Lexapro) in january 2010 for general anxiety disorder/panic attacks (possibly burn-out from studying).stayed on it for 4,5 years. started to reduce Lexapro with this "schedule" (and ignored doctor's advice to quit in 14 days):- 10mg to 5mg on 16/07/2014 (no WD symptoms)- after 8 weeks: 5mg to 2,5mg on 12/09/2014 (1st week: heavy sweating at night; mood swings (angry), brainfog/derealization) - after 7 weeks: 2,5mg to 2mg on 03/11/2014 (1st week: heavy sweating at night; from 2nd week on: mild brain zaps, eye floaters, mood swings)- after 14 weeks: 2mg to 1,5mg on 14/02/2015 (1st week: heavy sweating at night; from 2nd week on: shaking, trembling, severe anxiety attacks, loss of appetite, insomnia, very depressive feelings; from 3rd week on: shaking and trembling reduced, sometimes a "window" but anxiety always returns, very dark thoughts) - updosed to 2mg on 07/03/2014 supplements: Metarelax (magnesium + Vit B ); Omega 3-fish oil; Sedinal drops in case of extreme anxiety; acupuncture + CBT
AmyK Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you for writing this!! All the best to you! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.
AliG Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you for writing this success story. It gives everyone here, hope. As someone who was also on SSRI's for over 10 years, this is extremely encouraging. How did you deal with the rebound " depression" from withdrawal? I'm finding that the hardest thing to deal with. Maybe you could give all of us some ideas, on strategies you used in your recovery, as well as supplements / diet etc. Thanks again. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 .
Martina23 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Pennylane, that is really wonderful news. I am 4,5 month to withdrawal, and the hope that it one day dissappears is the only thing that keep me going (and also really nice people on this website and my children :-)) 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD
Pennylane34 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 I would have to say that things got better once I started using energetic medicine to realign and balance myself. About 10 months out--July 2012 I started using Bach flower essences, and noticed major shifts in mood that have me the hope to go on! Then I started acupuncture (1-3x a week for 5 months) in November of 2012 and continued that well into 2013. Then I saw a homeopath and that pushed me farther into my healing in 2013-present. I used to need a homeopathic remedy everyday, now I use one a month. I still infrequently go to acupuncture. I don't eat gluten, dairy or eggs. I ride my bike 3-4x a week. Being out of the house and on nature or by seaside played a HUGE part of my healing. I live in NYC, so even walking to the grocery store I noticed lifted my spirits and took me out of isolation. I pray, focus on the positive and have a good intuition now---this all came as a result of my journey back to health and wellness. My thyroid is still wonky (but I am seeing an alternative practitioner for that). Overall I am I would say 90-95% better. I remember when I was crying every moment of every day and just wanting to die. OMG, I can't even believe how much my life has changed and how things have turned around for me. And they will for you too. Believe it. Because it's possible and it WILL happen
akakoom Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 so happy to hear of your success! gives me hope March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)
WinningThrough Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Wow! A success story and a wonderful one too! This is so brilliant! I'm very very happy for you. I'm interested to see that you used Bach flower remedies. This is very timely because I have started using a Bach flower remedy and have started feeling better. I was thinking of starting a thread about in Symptoms and Self care and then I read this! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free
akakoom Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I never had any faith in the acupuncture or homeopathic route. I was always the firm believer in science and technology. All that ancient science was hogwash. I am of a totally opposite belief now... now that we all know what science and big pharma can do. I will definitely look into acupuncture. March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through)
Hudgens Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I hope you stay with the site for a while. I'm glad you're feeling better for 8 months, but I'd also like to see how you're doing after 9, 10, even one year out. Sept 12th 1992-began taking Imipramine (50mgs) for panic attacks. Stopped Imipramine after 4 months (cold turkey). 7 months later experienced "mysterious" bad flu-like symptoms, although, without upper respiratory problems or fever. Because of this and a day of panic attacks, was put on Prozac (20mgs?) for 2 months and then, when that didn't work-was put back on Imipramine, plus Xanax 1 mg (4Xdaily)-October 1993. March 1999-switched from Imipramine (50mgs) to Celexa. 2008-switched to Pristiq for 3 months, then back to Effexor XR (after bad reaction to the Pristiq). Sept 1st 2010-Switched from Effexor XR (75mgs) to Effexor Generic (solid form) in preparation for taper. Nov 15th 2010-Began tapering from 75mgs Effexor Generic. January 13th 2014-.06mgs April 17th 2014- .03mgs May 11th 2014- .02mgs Ended taper October 31st 2014 Oct 4th 2015-11 months post taper and completely back to normal!
Prestorb Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you so much for sharing Pennylane, so glad you are well now! 2005-2009, Lexapro 10 - 20 mg, CT WD w/severe depression and anxiety: 2010-2015, Paxil, 30 - 40 mg, tapered off at 10 mg/week, moderate anxiety and depression: 2010-2015, Clonozapam 0.25 mg, as needed for anxiety and sleep: 1/10/2015, Zoloft 25 mg, tried to increase to 50 and 75, but nausea and dizziness: 2/13/2015, Paxil 5 mg, added back after 2 weeks at zero to reduce WD: 2/28/2015, Paxil 10 mg, increased from 5 mg to reduce WD, HOLDING: 3/04/2015, Zoloft discontinued (reduced to ~12.5 mg on 2/19, ~6.25 mg on 2/26, then zero): 4/26/2015, Paxil starting 10% taper (no scale so was inadvertently at 20% taper, yikes!): 4/30/2015, Paxil 10 mg, reinstated (WD disappeared between August 2015 and May 2016) 5/02/2016, Started 10% taper, reinstated to 10 mg on 5/11/16: 4/29/2017, Last dose of Paxil (working with holistic psychiatrist, lots of supplements to aid WD): Primary symptoms: apathy, demotivation, anhedonia, fatigue, stress intolerance, moderate social anxiety 7/1/2018 Finally feeling like myself again, success!!! Praise God! Even with the stress of relocating recently, I am feeling pretty good most of the time now. Granted, I eat healthy, I exercise, I don't drink caffeine or alcohol and I try hard find a healthy balance of quiet and social times. Hang in there and keep the faith, you can do it too!
Pennylane34 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Hudgens, I've been almost 4 years out! LOL my last wave ended in July of last year.
ricardo7 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Very hopeful! 4 times on SSRI'S in the past, I have never had such serious problems. Septemper 2013-November 2013: Paxil (60mg) After discontinuation (cold turkey):anhedonia, severe emotional anesthisia, severe PSSD. xanax: daily use for 4.5 years at doses 0.5 mg -1.5mg. taper september 2014 from 1.5mg. current dose: 0.87,5 mg.(8AM, 2PM, 8PM, 00-01AM)
Mort81 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Absolutely awesome! Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg
LoveandLight Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Beautiful story thanks very much 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided!
Hudgens Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 What I mean is you've been symptom free (100%) for 8 months and I'd like to hear how you're doing as the months go by. I mean, for example, if 7 months without symptoms is good, then 9 months is even better evidence that you're out of the woods, right? So just hoping you check in again every month or so. Good news is need here almost more than anything else.Also a signature with your drugs history would be a great help. Sept 12th 1992-began taking Imipramine (50mgs) for panic attacks. Stopped Imipramine after 4 months (cold turkey). 7 months later experienced "mysterious" bad flu-like symptoms, although, without upper respiratory problems or fever. Because of this and a day of panic attacks, was put on Prozac (20mgs?) for 2 months and then, when that didn't work-was put back on Imipramine, plus Xanax 1 mg (4Xdaily)-October 1993. March 1999-switched from Imipramine (50mgs) to Celexa. 2008-switched to Pristiq for 3 months, then back to Effexor XR (after bad reaction to the Pristiq). Sept 1st 2010-Switched from Effexor XR (75mgs) to Effexor Generic (solid form) in preparation for taper. Nov 15th 2010-Began tapering from 75mgs Effexor Generic. January 13th 2014-.06mgs April 17th 2014- .03mgs May 11th 2014- .02mgs Ended taper October 31st 2014 Oct 4th 2015-11 months post taper and completely back to normal!
alex Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 BEAUTIFUL!! :) 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback.
stan Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Nice story Penny! do you take some med today? for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little
Pennylane34 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Stan, I haven't taken ANYTHING since September 2011 I'm on the subway so I can't fill in my signature with my background. But for those who asked: I was put on Zoloft back in 99 when I was 13 years old. I had depression/anxiety and OCD as a child (that phased in and out of my life) due to very very abusive/traumatic experiences I had as a child. I remained on Zoloft on and off until 2001 when my psych introduced me to a "new and better drug" called Celexa--and then later called Lexapro. I coasted through HS on Lexapro and tried to get off cold turkey when I started college. BIG MISTAKE! I was INSANE. Literally, the voices in my head would NOT STOP. I struggled to remain off Lexapro for about a year and a half and then in early 2007 I got so depressed again (from the w/d clearly!) I figured I' needed it because my brain must've been "fucked up" from the drugs and I couldn't live without them now. I resigned myself to that fate and at 21 years old in 2007 I was put on Prozac. I remained on Prozac for nearly 4 years until I came off on September 2011 at 25 years old. I can honestly say that my childhood/young adulthood was beyond normal due to this experience. I am now an advocate of trying ANYTHiNG else accept meds. Depression/anxiety and other ailments can be tamed through energetic/holistic/herbal/supplemental and dietary treatment. I whole heartedly believe that.
Pugknows Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You are an inspiration, Penny. A story of successful recovery we all need to hear. Thank you! January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.
Pennylane34 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Hudgens, I def will I'm hoping to stay on this road and continue to just get better and better! I wanted to come back and share my story because when I was in the thick of things I was ravenously surfing the web trying to pluck out any success/record stories I could find and hang on to the hope they have me for dear life! Too many ppl get well and move on and forget to tell everyone. I just wanted to pay it forward. Many blessings of love and happiness to you all! You will get through this! What I mean is you've been symptom free (100%) for 8 months and I'd like to hear how you're doing as the months go by. I mean, for example, if 7 months without symptoms is good, then 9 months is even better evidence that you're out of the woods, right? So just hoping you check in again every month or so. Good news is need here almost more than anything else. Also a signature with your drugs history would be a great help.
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 21, 2015 Administrator Posted March 21, 2015 Welcome, Pennylane. Thank you so much for posting here and letting us know of your progress. I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol☼to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering. I hope you will add your story, looking back on your symptoms, how they changed, and your discoveries about your capabiiities to our Recovery Success Stories soon! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted.
Hudgens Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Thanks, 3 months from now I want to be where you are, and to hear that you are still doing great. Sept 12th 1992-began taking Imipramine (50mgs) for panic attacks. Stopped Imipramine after 4 months (cold turkey). 7 months later experienced "mysterious" bad flu-like symptoms, although, without upper respiratory problems or fever. Because of this and a day of panic attacks, was put on Prozac (20mgs?) for 2 months and then, when that didn't work-was put back on Imipramine, plus Xanax 1 mg (4Xdaily)-October 1993. March 1999-switched from Imipramine (50mgs) to Celexa. 2008-switched to Pristiq for 3 months, then back to Effexor XR (after bad reaction to the Pristiq). Sept 1st 2010-Switched from Effexor XR (75mgs) to Effexor Generic (solid form) in preparation for taper. Nov 15th 2010-Began tapering from 75mgs Effexor Generic. January 13th 2014-.06mgs April 17th 2014- .03mgs May 11th 2014- .02mgs Ended taper October 31st 2014 Oct 4th 2015-11 months post taper and completely back to normal!
ADropInTheOcean Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Pennylane34 did you had pain? Like SEVERE pain. Deep muscle/joint burning and stabbing like pain...and neuropathic like pain in palms. It hurts so bad im crawling and crying. Thats my main problem now along with extreme rage at 18 months off... Congrats for getting well ! On various meds since 2004(Luvox, Paxil-5 years, Zoloft, Trazodone, etc) for anxiety.CT Luvox 20th September 2013, started Klonopin 1mg (now on 0.25mg). Hellish depression, burning head, crying spells,extreme emotional rollercoaster, severe fibro-neuropathy like pains-never had any of this prior to meds. 31 months off and its worse and worse no life AT ALL.
Bellisimo Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Hi everyone! I was on Paxil Progress since 2011. I was on SSRIs from 1999-2011-approx 12 years. My final years were on Prozac. I came off COMPLETELY during a quick taper in September of 2011. I suffered -headaches -vertigo -sound sensitivity -light sensitivity -brain fog -extreme exhaustion -insomnia -heart palpitations -suidical depression -extreme anxiety -extreme OCD -allergies -IBS -food allergies -Dangerous Rage -hysterical crying multiple times a day -complete feeling of doom, misery and hopelessness -Fear -Nightmares/Night terrors -Apathy -anhedonia -memory problems Okay. So those were SOME of my symptoms! There was a **** ton more and I don't remember them all lol however I will say this---my physical symptoms have never FULLY went away---cause I have adrenal/thyroid problems caused by this w/d. I am treating that with acupuncture and homeopathy and they ARE and HAVE gotten better! What I want to say I FULLY recovered from is ALL the excruciating mental symptoms. Every single one is gone! This is coming from someone who had depression and OCD PRIOR to drugs. I am EVEN better now then I was before the drugs! I am 100% mentally and emotionally better. My last wave was in July of 2014. So I would have to say I believe I am out of the woods now. I just feel at ease, at peace and happy. I am loving my life now! I have everything to live for and I am SO grateful for the experience of being on drugs/going through the withdrawal (where I contemplated suicide multiple times) to where I am now! I have a HUGE appreciation for life due to this experience. I want you to feel better and excited about the life your gonna live once your withdrawal is done! And even right now, appreciate and accept where you are. I want you to believe in yourself. I NEVER thought I was going to recover. Believe me, if I can, anyone can! God bless! You will make it to the other side. I have tears in my eyes from reading this. Its wonderful! I have also had so many of your symtoms and much more and still getting waves even if iam better now then before. reading that you havent had a wave for so long makes me so happy. IAM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Go live your life and be happy. You deserve it so much. 2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg) 2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.2013/aug: Took my last pill W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine. 2014/August: 12 months off (much improved) 2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.) 2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling! 2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!
Hopefull Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I am so happy that you have posted your successful recovery story. It is truly inspirational and gives me hope. If you can do it so can I. Thank you for sharing your success story. It is really refreshing to read something positive. DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol.
Pennylane34 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Adropintheocean, yes I had a lot of muscle pain! Not constant, but a lot of tightness and soreness---like a ran a half marathon! That went away for the most part unless I do something intensely aerobic or strenuous.
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted March 25, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Posted March 25, 2015 My symptoms are primarily physical and are severe, so this is not really that encouraging. I have dystonia and myoclonic jerks so bad that I can barely walk, and my throat muscles are so damaged that I can only have a liquid diet. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia
Pennylane34 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Wiggle it- I'm so sorry to hear that my physical symptoms are tied more to an adrenal failure/thyroid issue that was kick started in withdrawal. So please don't be discouraged as this runs in my family---withdraw just happened to be the catalyst for me. I have chronic brain fog, hair shedding and fatigue. But it varies to different degrees. Hang in there, you will improve as most others on here do. If you go on YouTube and type in "benzo withdrawal 3 year update" there's a gentleman on there who I forget his name who did videos sporadically throughout his experience and had symptoms very similar to you that went away. Let me know if you find it! His videos gave me so much hope---because as you know benzo WD is prob 10x worse then SSRI WD if you can believe that!
Pugknows Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Hi Penny. You still have brain fog, fatigue and hair loss. So sorry to hear that. What % would you say you've recovered then? Praying you continue to heal. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.
Pugknows Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I didn't know benzo WD was 10X worse than SSRI. What makes you say that? January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.
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