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SkyBlue: Paxil taper

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brassmonkey

Hi Sky--  sorry to hear that you got slammed after having such a nice window.  Your'e in a great place though and other windows will keep opening wider and wider.

 

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

 

Brass

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Gridley

Notwithstanding this wave, you are doing great with your taper.  Going so slowly will pay off.  We are all behind you.

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Rosetta

Amen!!  Frustration is an understatement.  I'm rooting for you!  -Rosetta

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manymoretodays
20 hours ago, SkyBlue said:

I know it will get better. In the midst of all of that, though, I do just want to tantrum/shout that this it is beyond frustrating to fall out of my lifeboat again. Can I get an "amen" from the crowd????? 

 

.......and another huge AMEN from the crowd.  :D

I have not fallen out of MY proverbial lifeboat, yet getting thrashed about once again is no picnic.  I much prefer the calm walk on the beach in the sunshine.  It is what it is..... says I.  Can't have one without the other from time to time.

 

Celebrating your 0.3 mg Paxil dose as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yep, rooting for you B)

We're all in this together.  ❤️

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

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SkyBlue
On 8/2/2018 at 2:29 PM, brassmonkey said:

Hi Sky--  sorry to hear that you got slammed after having such a nice window.  Your'e in a great place though and other windows will keep opening wider and wider.

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Thanks so much, Brass! I definitely am in a good place. ((((HUGS)))) right back! 

 

 

On 8/2/2018 at 2:43 PM, Gridley said:

Notwithstanding this wave, you are doing great with your taper.  Going so slowly will pay off.  We are all behind you.

Thanks, Gridley! I really appreciate it. Going slowly has most definitely paid off!! 

 

On 8/2/2018 at 7:31 PM, Rosetta said:

Amen!!   I'm rooting for you!  -Rosetta

I love it! ! ! Thanks so much.

 

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

.......and another huge AMEN from the crowd.  :D

I have not fallen out of MY proverbial lifeboat, yet getting thrashed about once again is no picnic.  I much prefer the calm walk on the beach in the sunshine.  It is what it is..... says I.  Can't have one without the other from time to time.

 

Celebrating your 0.3 mg Paxil dose as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yep, rooting for you B)

We're all in this together.  ❤️

Amen! Thanks, mmt, for the support and for celebrating with me! 

 

You guys are the best. 

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SkyBlue

Hi everyone, 

 

I had some akathisia this week. It's so hard to explain.

 

From the https://rxisk.org site, the akathisia symptoms I experience are:
    ▪    anxiety or agitation    ▪    a feeling of wanting to jump out of your skin
    ▪    dark and unpleasant thoughts

"Akathisia can feel very strange and unpleasant. Sufferers often find it very difficult to explain exactly what is wrong, even though they may be in unbearable distress."

That really rings true for me. It was rage, but like a Jekyl and Hyde situation, not even cognitive, but a horrible bodily sensation combined with acute suicidality. I wouldn't wish it on any human being ever.

 

Looking at my notes, though, it's been a while (3+weeks) since the akathisia has happened. That's progress. I'll take it!

 

I look forward to being free from that symptom! 

 

I also had some moments of clarity this week! Overall a positive trend. Going to hold at 0.3mg for a while. Hugs and solidarity to everyone. ❤️

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Rosetta

Thinking of you.  Akathisia is the most horrible sensation.  It is indescribable at least to those who have never had it.  There's a physical component and a mental component.  Both are horrid.  I saw someone describe it as on par with the feeling a person in a burning building feels before she jumps out the window.  I've never been in that position, but it certainly comes closer to an explanation that allows a person who isn't a sufferer to imagine the choice a person with Akathisia feels she must have.  Of course, the choice to just live through it is there, but the mind seems to feel that choice does not exist.  It's absolutely the most dangerous mental state I have ever experienced.  When I see a person say she doesn't want to die, but is afraid she will commit suicide I think "Akathisia!!!"  It sounds absurd to be afraid one will kill one's self, doesn't it?  And yet that's what I felt when it was very intense.  The mind is overwhelmed by the brain disorder to the point that continuing on through the condition appears to be out of the question.  If only someone would find out what exactly the body or brain is doing during Akathisia!  There must be a way to help people survive it instead of giving them drugs that make it worse!

 

Hang in there, SkyBlue!!  It will be gone someday and never come back!

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Rabe

Oh thinking of you SkyBlue!  I was wondering what akathisia was....I think because, just as you said, I wouldn't even know how to describe all the sensations except that they are a horrible wave of their own and seem to come from all directions.  I IS awful...I am so sad you are dealing with that, but grateful to hear that you feel it has improved!  Bless you for caring for others in the midst of your own trials! Take care!!💜

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direstraits
19 hours ago, SkyBlue said:

 ▪    anxiety or agitation    ▪    a feeling of wanting to jump out of your skin
    ▪    dark and unpleasant thoughts

I've experienced this many times...it's horrible.

wouldn't wish it on anyone.  

 

hope you're doing ok today.

xx

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Carmie

Hi SkyBlue, 

 

How are you doing? I see you had bad akathisia in August. You described what it’s like really well, but that doesn’t even really describe it, does it? It’s something that is sooo hard to put into words. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything worse in my entire life!

 

I’m really sorry that you get it too, my heart goes out to you. 

 

Sending hugs🤗💚

 

 

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bhasski

Hi @SkyBlue,

How are you ? Hope you are feeling better.

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SkyBlue

 

On 11/29/2018 at 6:51 AM, Carmie said:

 I see you had bad akathisia in August. You described what it’s like really well, but that doesn’t even really describe it, does it? It’s something that is sooo hard to put into words. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything worse in my entire life!

I’m really sorry that you get it too, my heart goes out to you. 

Sending hugs🤗💚

 

 

Hi Carmie,

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, the akathisia is impossible to describe. I've never experienced something so awful either, before withdrawal. It's physical rage combined with feeling like I'm in a horrible place where I can't feel God and God can't hear me. It's still happening very regularly. It's hard to believe that it will disappear one day, but I try to remain hopeful, even if I need to fake it for a while.  Hugs right back.

 

On 11/29/2018 at 12:39 PM, bhasski said:

How are you ? Hope you are feeling better.

Thanks so much for asking. Windows and waves!! Hope you are doing okay. 

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Gridley

So sorry you're feeling bad.  It will disappear one day, hard to believe though that may be.  One of the hardest things for me is not feeling God but that has improved, so it does come back.

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SkyBlue
On 11/30/2018 at 4:56 PM, Gridley said:

So sorry you're feeling bad.  It will disappear one day, hard to believe though that may be.  One of the hardest things for me is not feeling God but that has improved, so it does come back.

 

Hi Gridley, thanks so much for your kind words. I do trust that. (Most days at least!) Thanks for stopping by. ❤️

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SkyBlue

Hi friends, 

 

Wanted to share that despite having a cold, coughing, fever, etc., I am doing great today because I am having at least a partial window! 

Just enjoying it for what it is (and so funny that after being in WD, feeling sick, etc. is nothing!), and wanted to share, because you wonderful people are always there for me when I'm *not* doing so well. ❤️

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Gridley

Very happy to hear this, SkyBlue!

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SkyBlue
On 12/5/2018 at 1:17 PM, Gridley said:

Very happy to hear this, SkyBlue!

Thank you, Gridley! 

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direstraits
On ‎12‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 2:09 PM, SkyBlue said:

Hi friends, 

 

Wanted to share that despite having a cold, coughing, fever, etc., I am doing great today because I am having at least a partial window! 

Just enjoying it for what it is (and so funny that after being in WD, feeling sick, etc. is nothing!), and wanted to share, because you wonderful people are always there for me when I'm *not* doing so well. ❤️

so happy for you,SkyBlue...hope you get many more windows!

Love from ds.💙

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SkyBlue
26 minutes ago, direstraits said:

so happy for you,SkyBlue...hope you get many more windows!

Love from ds.💙

So kind of you, ds. ❤️ It's over now, but I'm glad it was here and will definitely hope for more in the future. 

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Carmie

H

On 12/1/2018 at 8:19 AM, SkyBlue said:

 

 

Hi Carmie,

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, the akathisia is impossible to describe. I've never experienced something so awful either, before withdrawal. It's physical rage combined with feeling like I'm in a horrible place where I can't feel God and God can't hear me. It's still happening very regularly. It's hard to believe that it will disappear one day, but I try to remain hopeful, even if I need to fake it for a while.  Hugs right back.

 

Thanks so much for asking. Windows and waves!! Hope you are doing okay. 

 

 

Hi Skyblue, 

 

How are you faring? I see that you’re in quite a windows n waves pattern at the moment. It’s amazing when those windows poke through, isn’t it? I hope you have some good distractions while going through waves. 

 

I’m sorry to hear about how you’re struggling. Yes, our feelings can certainly become numb, and it’s sometimes hard to feel the things around us. I’m fortunate that I haven’t lost faith in God, it’s one of the main things that keeps me going. 

 

I hope that you are able to make some happy memories when you get those windows. I always find making happy memories in windows keeps me focused on something positive when I’m in waves. I seem to be stabilising slowly this week. About time!😃

 

I went to a concert on Sunday that was fabulous n I stayed at a friend’s place overnight. Besides that n spending time with friends Wednesday night, I haven’t been able to get out much because of my illness, but I’m hoping if I have the strength I might be able to get out in nature today. Do you have any favourite nature spots where you live? I think being in nature is so important when going through withdrawals. 

 

Speaking of nature, some of the birds we feed on the balcony are starting to fly into the loungeroom, so cute! We had a kookaburra fly in today. Time to slide the flyscreen across.😃 I hope you’re able to spend some time with animals too, if you don’t have any, borrow the neighbour’s dog.🤣

 

Sending sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️

 

 

 

 

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SkyBlue
On 12/6/2018 at 6:04 PM, Carmie said:

Do you have any favourite nature spots where you live? I think being in nature is so important when going through withdrawals. 

 

Speaking of nature, some of the birds we feed on the balcony are starting to fly into the loungeroom, so cute! We had a kookaburra fly in today. Time to slide the flyscreen across.😃 I hope you’re able to spend some time with animals too, if you don’t have any, borrow the neighbour’s dog.🤣

 

Sending sunshine your way☀️

 

 

Hi Carmie,

 

Thanks for your kind post. 

 

I should clarify: it's only during severe akathisia that my faith is truly (most acutely) challenged. 

 

I'm glad you were able to see some friends, and hope you were able to get out in nature. Awwww, kookaburra! I only know them from the song. Kookaburra lives in the old gum tree... I do love being out in nature also. I make a point for it whenever I can. : ) 

 

Thanks for the sunshine. Very short days in the northern part of the northern hemisphere, and I could use it! 

 

Thanks again, and do take care. : )

Edited by SkyBlue
kookaburra

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Rosetta

Hi Sky,

 

I'm so glad you had a window.  --Rosetta

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Carmie

Hi Skyblue, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing. 🤗💚

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Rabe
On 11/30/2018 at 4:19 PM, SkyBlue said:

Yes, the akathisia is impossible to describe. I've never experienced something so awful either, before withdrawal. It's physical rage combined with feeling like I'm in a horrible place where I can't feel God and God can't hear me.

Hi Sky...the last 13 words are the hardest part for me...I used to see and hear God often and everywhere...now I do not and it feels very empty and lonely.  It has been a huge part of my life and brought me much joy. I didnt know what the akathisia was until I came here..would be nice if having a word for it made it better to understand wouldn't it?  It is an awful thing..but makes one REAlly grateful when it goes away!!  

Wanted you to know I am thinking about you and so happy to know that things are better.  And YES...more sun would be FABulous wouldnt it??  The cold can be good for the anxiety...sometimes...but the lack of sunshine is hard to take after a bit!  Take care SB!💜

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SkyBlue
On 1/11/2019 at 5:32 PM, Carmie said:

Hi Skyblue, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing. 🤗💚

 

Hi Carmie,

Thanks so much for thinking of me. I am doing okay, thanks--windows and waves. A lot of dp/dr going on, so I am taking that as a sign of healing. Hope you are doing okay! ❤️

 

@Rabe, thanks for stopping by. Yes, the akathisia and withdrawal in general is something we will definitely heal from. God is still there, and we will be healed and be able to "feel" our faith more and more. ❤️

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Rabe
49 minutes ago, SkyBlue said:

thanks for stopping by. Yes, the akathisia and withdrawal in general is something we will definitely heal from. God is still there, and we will be healed and be able to "feel" our faith more and more.

That was beautiful...thank you!!!💜

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Carmie

Hi Skyblue, 

 

Glad to hear you’re not doing too badly. Yes, windows and waves certainly seems to be the order of the day around here, sending hugs🤗

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Frogie

Hi SkyBlue:

 

I'm on 0.3mg of Lexapro. So, you are a little ahead of me in your Paxil tapering. I have been on an AD for over 20 years. I couldn’t have made it through this without this wonderful site and Apace41. He took me under his wing and never left my side.

 

I think I’m going to go down to 0.1mg (Chessiecat suggested that) to be safe. 

 

I was just wondering when you planned to “jump off” the Paxil?

 

I noticed you said you were still on Zoloft also. Are you going to start tapering that immediately after the Paxil? The reason I ask is I’m on 3mg of Xanax. I think I’m going to wait a month and then turn to Shep for help with my Xanax. She is very good at the Benzo’s and I trust her immensely.

 

I hope you do really well, and wish you the best of luck!

 

We are going to make it!😊We are almost there!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

 

 

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SkyBlue
55 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 

I was just wondering when you planned to “jump off” the Paxil

I hope you do really well, and wish you the best of luck!

 

Hi Frogie and thanks for asking about me. 

 

No "stepping by" point in the works yet. I'm so far down on dosage that it could likely be any time now. I'll post more as I feel ready.

 

Yes, I will taper it the Zoloft eventually, but I'm really not worried about or prioritizing tapering Zoloft anytime soon. After having been poisoned by Paxil for my entire adult life, I'm going to give my poor body a rest from tapering, etc. The taper will be soooo slow that wisely undertaken! I agree with your enthusiasm about the people here who have helped us so much. 

 

Thanks for the well wishes, Frogie, and same to you. ❤️ 

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Altostrata

Wow, SkyBlue, that will be a banner day, when you're off Paxil!

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brassmonkey

Listen to your body, at some point it will say it's time to jump. Best of luck when it happens. 

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Gridley

Congratulations on being so close.

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Frogie
1 hour ago, SkyBlue said:

 

Hi Frogie and thanks for asking about me. 

 

No "stepping by" point in the works yet. I'm so far down on dosage that it could likely be any time now. I'll post more as I feel ready.

 

Yes, I will taper it the Zoloft eventually, but I'm really not worried about or prioritizing tapering Zoloft anytime soon. After having been poisoned by Paxil for my entire adult life, I'm going to give my poor body a rest from tapering, etc. The taper will be soooo slow that wisely undertaken! I agree with your enthusiasm about the people here who have helped us so much. 

 

Thanks for the well wishes, Frogie, and same to you. ❤️ 

Thanks for answering my questions. I really appreciate it.

 

I had a rough time with my Lexapro taper in the beginning, but I’m lucky to have this site and Apace41.

 

Please let me know as you get closer, if you wouldn’t mind. I’d love to know how you are doing.

 

I have been poisoned by some sort of AD since 1996, so I completely understand.

 

Thank you for the well wishes also❤️ I really appreciate it.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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SkyBlue
On 1/21/2019 at 6:05 PM, Frogie said:

 

Please let me know as you get closer, if you wouldn’t mind. I’d love to know how you are doing.

 

I will definitely post here, so you will get all the latest updates! Thanks again for your interest. : ) 

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SkyBlue
On 1/21/2019 at 5:02 PM, Altostrata said:

Wow, SkyBlue, that will be a banner day, when you're off Paxil!

Yes! ! ! !! I wholeheartedly agree! ! ! 

 

On 1/21/2019 at 5:06 PM, brassmonkey said:

Listen to your body, at some point it will say it's time to jump. Best of luck when it happens

Thanks, Brass! That's wise advice. My body is saying it's definitely not long now. Will post updates for sure! 

 

On 1/21/2019 at 5:13 PM, Gridley said:

Congratulations on being so close.

Thanks very much, Gridley! 

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Rabe

What a huge gift in the New Year!  SO SO happy for you!  And amazed you have made the journey...hope!!💜

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