Moonpie: need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

[Moonpie]

Yet another Moonpie question.  My food sensitivities have gotten more extreme since I went off of Lexapro.  I look back when I was tapering and I could eat so many more things and the sensitivities were just a few.  Is this the norm?

Also this wave has been different.  Before it was just like boom!  in the middle of the day or the next day just all at once I was in a window.  This one has been more gradual.  Not in a complete window but getting there.  Is this a sign of progress?  

[Altostrata]

I do not know why your food sensitivities have increased. Listen to your body and do not eat foods that irritate it. See 

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

 

Histamine intolerance

 

Waves should get less intense as recovery progresses.

[Moonpie]

Thank you @Altostrata for the links. The waves are getting less are getting less intense but the food sensitivities have increased in number.  I didn't know if others might have experienced this also.

[Altostrata]

You may need to avoid certain foods for a while, add them back in gradually.

[Moonpie]

I being really careful and avoiding everything that affects me.  So many things have changed since I went off the Lexapro than when I was tapering.  Sleep is worse too.  Thank you for your help and support.

[Moonpie]

OK everyone checking to see if anybody else has had this symptom. This is kind of new to me. It is a hyper feeling kind of anxiety kind of not and it is in my chest. Really strange.  Very little sleep last night I figured it has something to do with that.

[Leo1983]

Hi,

 

I have it now and i have been getting it on and off for a while since the CT. 

 

Im convinced the meds made me bipolar.

 

I actually have it real bad today. Almost like a manic anxious hyper high. It feels like your crazy. 

[Leo1983]

You could try a blood test for thyroid but i think likely not. 

[Moonpie]

@Leo1983 Thank you for your reply. It's almost like my body is stopping me from going any further in the anxiety. I had my thyroid check last month and it is doing good. How are you doing

[Leo1983]

Hi

 

Im not doing that great. No matter what i do its just there!

 

38 month now from a CT. 

 

I have had good spells but anxiety is kicking my ass. Head fog and just that general feeling off feeling poop..

 

I notice alot of the people who took Lexapro are the ones struggling. 

 

Im very up and down and just cant seem to stabalise for long. I was never lime this before meds. 

 

I just question is my head broken now forever. Am i waiting for anything?

[Moonpie]

@Leo1983II'm so sorry  your journey has been so hard and so long. I know warning it to be over and it's just to keep coming is discouraging. WD is such a difficult thing to deal wito deal with. No I do not think you are broken. Everyone heals,  but some take longer than others. I wish I had the answer to no why.   I have read them but I am not good about navigating the site. There are many links, I don't know if you have read them or not that have helped me at least cope. Could there be anything you are eating or any other supplement or medication you are on that could be aggravating this the fact that you've had windows means there will be more.  I have noticed also lexapro users have like us seem to be having  A really hard time .  Please do not give up I know in the face of your suffering it is easy to.You have been so brave and come so far. I know you cannot see it see it but you have done amazing. Sorry for the short message I hit the wrong button and sent it before I finished. Please take care

 

 

[Leo1983]

Im sorry if my reply was misersble. 

 

Im assured we all heal and im sure we will at some point. Its just no fun waiting and not knowing. 

 

😊

[Moonpie]

@Leo1983No!  Not at all, you are hurting just like me and all of us. I posted at the end of the post I had hit the send button before I finished. Please look at my new reply I hate that I made you feel bad. Totally an accident  with my finger.

[Leo1983]

Aww thanks.

 

Dont worry about making me feel bad, as you did not. Im fortunate i was quite a strong nature before the meds and thats still there. Im not easy offended. 

 

Thanks for those kind and understanding words. It is something i have never in my life dealt with and it hurts to watch my old life going on around me as i wait. 

 

I tried all the drugs to help me present at work and make me calm in my job. All i achieved was a mashed up brain. Now im away from the job and still suffering. 

 

I guess i was in my thirties when this happened and had alot of life experiences. Im pleased i wasnt younger in a way. I just sort of know who i am and what im all about but my body/brain wont let me. 

 

I thought by now i would be well done and healed but it dsnt look like im free yet. 

 

I hope your feeling a little better 

[Moonpie]

You have been waiting a long  Time . I'm glad you read this message  And I did not make your paying worse. I can understand your discouragement after 38 months months. It's almost like being in a cage and watching everything go on around you and remembering how you were out there doing things but you can't right now. Have any of your symptoms eased at all? Are you able to sleep?  Like @Frogie  told me, Leaxapro is a beast.  And she is right!  Hang in there, please do not give up!!

[Leo1983]

Hi

 

I also CT the drug. I have been told to prepare for 4-6 years of withdrawal. 

 

I sleep now for 8 - 10 hours and yes alot of stuff went away. 

 

What i have left

 

- Anxiety 

- Anhedonia

- DP

- head pressure like a metal band around head

- fatigue

- memory issues. 

 

I mean that enough for 1 day rite lol.

 

Just started meds again for my acid as i have a hernia but i was like this before the meds. I do like a beer at the weekends and nothing else has changed really. 

[getofflex]

On 8/13/2021 at 10:29 AM, Moonpie said:

OK everyone checking to see if anybody else has had this symptom. This is kind of new to me. It is a hyper feeling kind of anxiety kind of not and it is in my chest. Really strange.  Very little sleep last night I figured it has something to do with tha

Oh yes.  When I have a bad night I feel like this for hours at night.  It's not in my chest, but it feels as though I'm just hyper alert and wired.  It is common in WD. 

[getofflex]

On 8/12/2021 at 11:07 PM, Moonpie said:

The waves are getting less are getting less intense

I'm really glad to hear this.  😀❤️

[Altostrata]

Please be sure to get at least a half-hour of gentle exercise during daylight hours. This helps your nervous system regulate itself and may help your sleep.

[Moonpie]

@Leo1983 I am so glad you have seen some improvements in your long journey and sorry to hear so many remain.  But it is a definite sign you are healing!  You are doing great!  Hang in there.  We will all get there!   I had a gift certificate for a massage today. I had some bad anxiety this morning but after the massage I had a good day other than being tired (from the massage relaxing me) and neck pain. I went to some stores to just look and realized for the first time in a long time I was enjoying myself! 

At least now when the waves roll in I am not shocked it came back. I don't like it of course LOL! I am just happy to have a good day or a partial good day.  I too thought I'd be done since I took so long to taper. I was shocked at how vicious it got when I went off Lexapro.  My last month and a half of tapering and even a little longer had very little WD.   Reality is becoming a companion now. I quit (or think I have) fighting how long and that it is still here.  If I post otherwise at a later date remind me of this!  Please take care.  

[Moonpie]

@Altostrata thank you for that suggestion.  I guess when I work (cleaning offices and houses) I consider that exercise as it can be 2 - 3 hours.  There are some days I don't work though. I think i just need to walk or ride my exercise bike, more of a concentrated exercise.  I will purpose to do that regularly I know my dog would like me too!  I appreciate you caring and helping me!

[Altostrata]

16 minutes ago, Moonpie said:

but after the massage I had a good day other than being tired (from the massage relaxing me) and neck pain. I went to some stores to just look and realized for the first time in a long time I was enjoying myself! 

 

Mark the day! The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

[Greatful]

@Moonpie  

You jumped last Feb off of Lex right?  Are you on anything else?  I am sorry that you are still going through wd.

 

On 8/13/2021 at 10:29 AM, Moonpie said:

It is a hyper feeling kind of anxiety kind of not and it is in my chest. Really strange. 

I get the intense panic feeling in my body, and my brain It feels like it is very intense not jumping from thought to thought just like it is a panic. 

 

On 8/13/2021 at 10:40 AM, Leo1983 said:

Im convinced the meds made me bipolar.

Like Leo1983 said.  Sometimes I wonder the same thing.  The ever changing emotions from anger, anxiety, panic , depression.

 

On 8/14/2021 at 7:48 AM, Moonpie said:

I have noticed also lexapro users have like us seem to be having  A really hard time .

Help, this does not sound good for me😢  I really want to start tapering this as awful drug.  I think it is stimulating me. But I am afraid to start, the last 9 months have been awful.

[Leo1983]

Hi

 

@Greatful

 

That is one hell of a medication history you have there. 

[Greatful]

@Leo1983

I really was only on one for a long time...between Prozac and Lexapro  then I crashed from WD in 2014 ended up in the hospital (bad move) cycled through many trail drugs trying to find something.  Then settled on Prozac and still struggled added Lamictal well that was okay for awhile but had some side affects from it and the Prozac.  Thought it was from the Prozac so started to taper Summer of 2020 again crashed and started the cycle again.  If the doctors knew what they were doing things would be much different.  In fact all the times I tried to go of,f guess what WD but did I know that, NO, did the doctors know what to do, NO.  I am not just a little bit angry right.  I can't go back in time but it is hard not to think <just maybe if anyone knew what they were doing,  maybe I would gotten off these drugs years ago and not subjected myself to brain remodeling  for 20 + years.

 

I see that you  are struggling, I feel your pain and suffering.  Reach out anytime.  

On 8/14/2021 at 7:53 AM, Leo1983 said:

Im sorry if my reply was misersble. 

Please don't worry about stating how you feel.  It is real and your are in pain.  You need to get it out and release it.  We  are here together through thick and thin.  Good days and bad days.

[Greatful]

In the doctors defense when I would try to go off my meds they were not always in the loop.  I would do it on my own  and restart,  but they should have know what to do the in 2014 and 2020.  

I guess I was a in the dark as much as they are.   Now I know better Thanks to SA. It is so sad  that this is still going on today.  We shouldn't have to figure out how to handle these meds.  The doctors have all the schooling.  UGH!

[getofflex]

On 8/14/2021 at 6:19 PM, Moonpie said:

realized for the first time in a long time I was enjoying myself! 

I'm so glad @Moonpie!!  Woohoo!!!  I'm celebrating. 🥳🎉

 

I believe this Lexapro is really nasty stuff.  But I'm bound and determined to get off of it, so I'm soldiering on.  I had a good day today too!  I'm working on a watercolor painting of a sunflower.  

[Moonpie]

@Greatful   I feel horrible I discouraged you, I would never ever want to do that to someone, especially with all you have faced.    Please don't be afraid to go off and free yourself from the drug. 

 

You are such a survivor and I admire you not only for all you have gone thru and are still fighting, but your wonderful insights and encouragement you share.  You have been a blessing to me. 

 

I doubt Lexapro will take you down any road you have not already been before.  It has not been fun, and no it wasn't on my bucket list LOL but I would not turn back or not have taken the risk to do it for anything. 

 

It is a journey, and not an impossible one, but it takes patience and perseverance and you have already shown that for many years.  You can do it and you will get through it and heal. It will be worth it. 

 

And you have all of us at SA here to support you.  Everyone is different, you experience may not be like mine. I am healing though not as fast as I would like.  I am keeping my eye on the finish line.  I am still on Buspar and will taper it when I am sure the WD has settle from this. I am going to post a 6 month update.  

 

Please once again forgive me for discouraging you.  ((((HUGS))))

 

[Moonpie]

@getofflex  A sunflower!  I wish I could see it!   Oils or acrylic?  By soldiering on we ARE getting off it and each day is one day closer!  Thank you for celebrating with me.  It was a small window but I will cherish and remember that it means there are more good days to come for all of us!

[Greatful]

@Moonpie    I forgive you.   You really are sweet.  I will be counting on you to help me through when I start to the big taper.  I am so mad that I was so desperate to stop the pain, I knew that I had a lot of anxiety at times when I was on it years ago, but I was hoping it would work at a low dose.  Now I am stuck on it.  

 

We are in this together.

[getofflex]

Moonpie I will show it to you when I’m done. It’s actually a water color. I did the background today.  I hope to work on it again this weekend. Yes please remember your window it’s shows that your brain is healing and you will have more windows in the future. You will have fewer waves and less severe waves and more windows.

[Moonpie]

@Greatful  I totally understand. I've mentioned it before but what just keeps coming back to me is when they said "oh you can just go off of it when you're done."   Kind of like oh I'm not going to eat  anymore  m & m's so I'll just stop. You're not stuck on it. You will get off of it.  Try not to beat yourself up over the past it is the past and you have learned valuable lessons, and  now you know  The these drugs are not something  you want to use.  You did the best you could at the time.  I will be glad to be there for you. I can't imagine where I would be right now if I have not have found the website and these wonderful people , like you.

[Moonpie]

6 MONTH UPDATE:   I cannot believe a month has already passed since I posted last on an update. It has been a while since I have had a shish boom bah don't rain on my parade window. The symptoms  continue to lessen in intensity.  But I am still struggling. Sleep is still not good but I am not laying awake all night at this time.  In the morning anxiety hits hard  and with a tight chest.  It usually eases up some as the day goes on.  Some old symptoms have returned since tapering having trouble using my hands and a feeling of numbness, being out balance and some nausea.   My neck is doing better the last 2 days since I went to the chiropractor, but it has been very bad very bad.  Stiff and hurting still. At this time right now my biggest problem is exhaustion. I see myself what I could do last month and now and it has decreased. I. I feel weak. And so tired but of course I can't rest. It is a scary kind of tired.  The lack of energy and working is really difficult.  Toward the end of this month I am having more memory lapses like I will be talking or praying and right in the middle I forget everything.  With all of this I truly feel like I'm improving.  Just subtle changes. There is an undercurrent of anxiety there even when my symptoms let up. There was one day I had no symptoms, but I still do not feel well almost like getting over the flu or something.  I do not remember the doctor's name but there is a chart that you can download and keep a record of your symptoms by number and intensity day .  I started  it in June. I made several copies, and I just put the symptoms that were common to me. Looking back over the last 3 months the numbers are getting lower than they were before. I am not giving up all I have to do is to go through this to get to the finish line.   Thank you everyone for your support wisdom and encouragement along this journey.

 

 

[Tweet]

2 hours ago, Moonpie said:

6 MONTH UPDATE:   I cannot believe a month has already passed since I posted last on an update. It has been a while since I have had a shish boom bah don't rain on my parade window. The symptoms  continue to lessen in intensity.  But I am still struggling. Sleep is still not good but I am not laying awake all night at this time.  In the morning anxiety hits hard  and with a tight chest.  It usually eases up some as the day goes on.  Some old symptoms have returned since tapering having trouble using my hands and a feeling of numbness, being out balance and some nausea.   My neck is doing better the last 2 days since I went to the chiropractor, but it has been very bad very bad.  Stiff and hurting still. At this time right now my biggest problem is exhaustion. I see myself what I could do last month and now and it has decreased. I. I feel weak. And so tired but of course I can't rest. It is a scary kind of tired.  The lack of energy and working is really difficult.  Toward the end of this month I am having more memory lapses like I will be talking or praying and right in the middle I forget everything.  With all of this I truly feel like I'm improving.  Just subtle changes. There is an undercurrent of anxiety there even when my symptoms let up. There was one day I had no symptoms, but I still do not feel well almost like getting over the flu or something.  I do not remember the doctor's name but there is a chart that you can download and keep a record of your symptoms by number and intensity day .  I started  it in June. I made several copies, and I just put the symptoms that were common to me. Looking back over the last 3 months the numbers are getting lower than they were before. I am not giving up all I have to do is to go through this to get to the finish line.   Thank you everyone for your support wisdom and encouragement along this journey.

 

 

Soooo happy you are sticking with it. And noticing improvement 👏 Stubbornness is a virtue here!😁

[Moonpie]

1 hour ago, Tweet said:

Stubbornness is a virtue here!😁 

I love this! You made me smile!

[getofflex]

Underneath the description of your suffering I hear a very strong courageous determined faith filled person.  

22 hours ago, Moonpie said:

Looking back over the last 3 months the numbers are getting lower than they were before.

It’s great that you are doing this chart. It is helping you see the big picture which is that you are slowly getting better!