lxjuice Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 If you think you have sleep apnea then get a sleep study. There is no point worrying about it without finding out. How long are you spending in bed? If it's a lot then you could try CBT-I and you may see improvement in as little as a week. https://www.veterantraining.va.gov/insomnia/index.asp 1 Dx: complex PTSD Discontinuation/taper history: sertraline, trazodone, prazosin, mirtazapine, diazepam Took 200mg quetiapine for 0.5 years and 150mg for 1.5 years until 01/2020. Now microtapering daily at an overall rate of 12.5mg/month. Link to comment
Hell Posted March 15, 2020 Author Share Posted March 15, 2020 Every day I want to die sooo badly. I wish I could get enough courage to kill myself. I am sick of this torture. 2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression) 2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms 2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey 2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey, developed double vision if looking at close screens etc. 2019 - june to 13th november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking it 2019 - middle october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea... 24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa 3rd december - 5mg zyprexa new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes 11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa Late 2020 (gradually finished the taper back then) to present - meds free. No improvements regarding sleep. Developed dry eyes because lack of it. Only positive change is that I do feel sleepy now but sleep is the same, broken and not good. Link to comment
Mentor mstimc Posted March 15, 2020 Mentor Share Posted March 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, Hell said: Every day I want to die sooo badly. I wish I could get enough courage to kill myself. I am sick of this torture. Its' not a lack of courage, Hell, its an abundance of common sense. You know this is all temporary, especially in terms of the rest of your life. God will take you in His own good time--don't try to do His job for Him. Tim C Started Paxil for GAD in 1999 Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006 Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009 Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety Link to comment
Mentor mstimc Posted March 15, 2020 Mentor Share Posted March 15, 2020 Hell, if you are facing serious suicidal thoughts, you need to reach out for professional help right now. 1 Tim C Started Paxil for GAD in 1999 Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006 Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009 Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sunnyday Posted March 19, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 19, 2020 On 3/11/2020 at 9:51 PM, Hell said: The biggest problem (I think) is that I probably got severe sleep apnea somehow and I choke as soon as I am about to fall asleep. It could have something to do with how my bite changed overnight and my jaw when I stopped the meds cold turkey. I don't see how this can improve now, it seems permanent. Only options I have now is to try cpap and sleep study or something but it is too expensive and I seriously doubt it can improve my situation. There are people who got sleep apnea and can't sleep without cpap, their situation can't improve on its own so how could mine? Even if it helps am I really done? Not being able to sleep without some f...... machine (even if that works) strapped to my mouth. I can't accept that. Losing something so crucial as sleep overnight and being ok with it? No. I just can't and would rather die soon. The thing is you'd be more of an exception if your sleep never came back. I understand not wanting to be hooked up to a machine, but if it helps you sleep properly for now why not try it? We won't always find the perfect solution and we sometimes have to go with the next best thing. I also think that maybe when you finally do get more sleep, you can look at it more positively. I know that when I had trouble sleeping my depression got ten times worse and my dark thoughts worsened. Please give it a try if you can so that you can give your mind a chance to see things differently. This solution probably doesn't have to be permanent either and hopefully you can manage without it later on. Plenty of people use them and live good lives. You need to fight against the bad thoughts. Have you read the post about emotional spirals? It seems like most people go through it during WD and we all need to fight those ruminating thoughts to be able to get through this, because in the end those are what makes us lose hope and give up. Practice removing any negative thought. Replace it with something else. 1 2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues) 2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot) Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs Now: Still drug free Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted March 19, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 19, 2020 On 11/23/2019 at 12:11 PM, Hell said: Last night I was waking up as usual but slept better because I took 6mg of melatonin. Hell, are you still using melatonin? If so, how much are you taking? I'm concerned you're still on a high dose and it may be having a paradoxical reaction. Please see: Melatonin for sleep On 12/2/2019 at 5:21 PM, Sunnyday said: I want to add that I don't think you should dismiss a possible health issue like sleep apnea if you suspect that is what's going on. I just noticed there's a lot of worry/fear so I responded mainly to that. I'm going to echo what Sunnyday wrote. If you have an underlying medical issue that may be causing your insomnia or making it worse, please get checked out by a doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sunnyday Posted April 11, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 11, 2020 How are you doing @Hell ? I hope @Happy2Heal doesn't mind that I quote her here, because she said something that I thought could be reassuring to hear. She said ''One thing that may help you as it helped me, while I was suffering the worst of insomnia, I read as much about sleep and insomnia as I could. I came across some very reassuring information, sleep is a primary need. Your body needs it so much, it will get it, whether you're aware of it or not. It could be just certain parts of your brain shutting down for sleep while others are active, but it does definitely sleep. It's so vital, it just happens.'' 2 2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues) 2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot) Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs Now: Still drug free Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D. Link to comment
Hell Posted April 26, 2020 Author Share Posted April 26, 2020 I am getting worse and worse. Now my eyes are burning from the lack of sleep too and eye drops are not helping. I am miserable. Can't do anything anymore just bed ridden watching myself getting worse. People get better with time but I only get more and more symptoms on top of everything like it isn't enough. I hate that I am still alive, I am torturing myself by living. 2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression) 2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms 2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey 2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey, developed double vision if looking at close screens etc. 2019 - june to 13th november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking it 2019 - middle october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea... 24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa 3rd december - 5mg zyprexa new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes 11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa Late 2020 (gradually finished the taper back then) to present - meds free. No improvements regarding sleep. Developed dry eyes because lack of it. Only positive change is that I do feel sleepy now but sleep is the same, broken and not good. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 26, 2020 Administrator Share Posted April 26, 2020 Are you still taking 4.3mg Zyprexa? Does it help you sleep? What is your sleep schedule? What kind of eye drops do you use? If they are drops to decrease redness in the eye, they can be drying. They cause additional problems. Have you pursued treatment for sleep apnea? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Icip Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 How are you doing Hell? I hope you’re okay Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken. Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days. Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening. Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight. Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog. Drug free. Link to comment
Icip Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Thinking about you Hell, I hope you’re doing okay Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken. Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days. Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening. Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight. Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog. Drug free. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Sunnyday Posted December 25, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 25, 2020 Hi @Hell, how are you? Has your sleep gotten any better? 2011-2015: Escitalopram (Cipralex) 20 mg, Voxra 300 mg (quit Voxra in late 2015, no issues) 2016: Started tapering Escitalopram 5 mg at a time, every fourth week July 24th, 2016: Escitalopram 5 mg April 2nd, 2017: Quit last dosage (WD worsened a lot) Ca 6 last months of 2017: Taking Diazepam 15-25 mg irregularly, less than once a month Ca Dec 2017: Out of Diazepam, i.e free from all prescribed drugs Now: Still drug free Supplements: Irregular intake of Omega-3, magnesium, vitamin D. Link to comment
Kingfisher86 Posted December 26, 2020 Share Posted December 26, 2020 Ćao @Hell Kako si? Možeš li nešto spavati ovih dana? Pročitala sam tvoju priču ovde i stvarno mi je mnogo žao što prolaziš kroz to. Moja rođena sestra živi u Sarajevu, mnogo volim taj grad. Želim ti sve najbolje, i zaista se nadam da ima nekog napretka kod tebe☀️ Pozdrav iz Bg-a! Google Translation: Hi @Hell How are you? Can you get some sleep these days? I read your story here and I'm really sorry you're going through that. My sister lives in Sarajevo, I love that city very much. I wish you all the best, and I really hope that there is some progress with you☀️ Greetings from Bg! July 19th 2017—July 2018: 10 mg Escitalopram August 2018— June 2020: 5 mg Escitalopram Tapering started: June 2020—1st of August. Lowest dose was 5 mg (5 mg every second day for a couple of weeks, then 5 mg twice a week for a couple of weeks, and lastly 5 mg once a week until I stopped) Drug free: August 1st, 2020 Supplements: Magnesium citrate 2x200 mg and Omega3 – 2x1000 mg. Link to comment
Armorall Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 @Hell how's it going these days? 3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg 3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg 7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone 7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg 7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects 8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg 8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever Currently taking vitamin C, D, E, a probiotic and fish oil. Message me here if you want: https://www.facebook.com/morra.lal.3/ I've been getting a lot of fake friend requests, so please send a message before friend requesting me, thank you! Link to comment
Hell Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Armorall said: @Hell how's it going these days? Just surviving day by day. Nothing improved and my health is deteriorating, worst issues being those caused by lack of sleep. I am completely different person physically and mentally than I was pre meds. I have no future. This will probably be my last post here just to update on my condition after such a long time. And from my experience going back on zyprexa and "tappering" was dumb. It didn't help and I could have just endured it because it was the same in the end with the difference of ruining my body even more by chemicals. My advice is just stay off any meds and don't ever take anything made by humans in your body. Humans are clueless or just destroy everything so they can sell their fixes and make profit of you. They don't care about you and everything you learned is manipulative. Most humans just act on instincts they are incapable of rational thought. Empathy even less. So be aware before buying anything they say. This may or may not be approved or could be edited to politically correct since I'm still on watch here (after year and a half lol) because I made one reply post against religion and supporting suicide. Either way I don't care. I can't help anyone and vice versa. Dunno what else to say really. It is pointless anyway because no one will see this except mods. Goodbye. 2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression) 2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms 2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey 2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey, developed double vision if looking at close screens etc. 2019 - june to 13th november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking it 2019 - middle october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea... 24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa 3rd december - 5mg zyprexa new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes 11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa Late 2020 (gradually finished the taper back then) to present - meds free. No improvements regarding sleep. Developed dry eyes because lack of it. Only positive change is that I do feel sleepy now but sleep is the same, broken and not good. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted August 13, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 13, 2021 (edited) @HellIt sounds like coming onto this site and responding is making you feel worse. You may want to turn off your notifications in your settings so you aren't notified of responses in your thread and don't feel pressured to respond. Edited August 13, 2021 by Shep added more info to my post. Link to comment
Hopela Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 On 8/12/2021 at 7:35 AM, Hell said: worst issues being those caused by lack of sleep. Hi Hell, I first followed your thread when I came to the site. I couldn't sleep at all. It's good to see you're about though sorry you have not recovered much. This might sound like a ludicrous thought but I chose my nickname to facilitate healing, I focused on hope, not on the situation. The name will sneak into your conscious and subconscious mind through interaction with yourself and others and effect what you experience and perceive. Hell might be the situation, and healing might feel dishonest to claim but hope is true and positive and calming focus that is possible to move forward with, and won't lock your identity to a bad situation that should be left. I know this idea is ludicrous and there are real physiological circumstances, though perhaps that is why using the most outrages measures even those just helping 0.5% at best is necessary. So I would suggest you request a name change to something more calming and positive, perhaps focused on hope. The beginning of healing for me was being able to be calm and rest through the night even if I did not sleep at all, somehow my brain learned to recover without sleep. I'm sure you are already on that path. Count rest hours as a win. Still today I need to watch my exposures and focus (what I put into or dwell on in my mind on top of what I put into my body) during the day so that I can sleep and rest at night. I need to choose to look away from some things. Your observations of humanity are valuable to consider and hard learned but to dwell on them in the mind feels uncalm to me and things I need to limit my time with, but not completely. That does not mean I don't have a behaviour congruent with similar observations to protect myself. Perhaps this is another 0.5% to push the possibility for healing you could work with. I tune out to walking, good company, or watching cat videos, ludicrous too, but so is the need. On 8/12/2021 at 7:35 AM, Hell said: ruining my body even more by chemicals I recently found some hopeful science on brain recovering from volume losses, it was studied on anorexia, alcoholics and metamphetamine. The opposite is not proven for prescription psychotropics as far as I know. It's calming to know (the positive spin of it takes years to recover) there is hope of substantial improvements for many years. 3 A week of oxazepam 10mg with 1 day of zopiclone 7.5mg and concurrent Zyprexa totalling: 10mg 25 days , 7.5mg 18 days, 5mg 14 days, 2.5mg 11 days, 10x0mg + 4x1mg. Very bad condition reinstated: zyprexa 7.5mg zopiclone 8.5mg, 25mg Propiomazine. Next day 5mg Z. Then 6 months taper to nothing but Zyprexa and 0.0mg again. 6 days 0mg. Reinstated 0.12mg x2 days. 23 june: 0.25mg. 29 june: 0.12mg. 8th and 9th july 2020 also tried 0.375mg Melatonin. 9 july 0.16mg. Made an error of judgement in august and was forced on various drugs in hospital mainly landing on: Abilify injections + pills for a daily total of 5-15 mg (for 2½ month) + zyprexa 3 days of 10mg mostly 2.5mg but started cheating. 14 oct 2020 only zyprexa and due to cheating earlier able to go 0.31mg! 30 oct 0.21mg, 13 nov 0.14mg, 28 nov 0.10mg, 14 dec 0.07mg, 04 jan 2021 0.035mg, 25 jan 0.017mg, 4 feb 2021 0.000 mg Link to comment
Armorall Posted August 23, 2021 Share Posted August 23, 2021 @Hell thank you so much for replying, I'm glad to know you are still here (on earth). I thought about you often and how to help our friends on here who are suffering the most. I understand that SA may be triggering for you right now. Please reach out if you just want to chat. I will always hold you in my memory as one of the many people that we have to fight for, or the reason why we fight to have our suffering known. Please take care ❤️ 2 3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg 3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg 7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone 7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg 7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects 8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg 8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever Currently taking vitamin C, D, E, a probiotic and fish oil. Message me here if you want: https://www.facebook.com/morra.lal.3/ I've been getting a lot of fake friend requests, so please send a message before friend requesting me, thank you! Link to comment
JohnBanes Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 I also had rough insomnia coming off olanzapine, which has not gone away a year later even though I'm on another antipsychotic. Olanzapine is poison that in all too many cases permanently undermines quality of life. I understand how you feel Hell. But remember, most people that attempt suicide fail and make their life even worse. Previously: Lithium (incorrectly diagnosed bipolar although I never had a manic or hypomanic episode)(taken during summer/fall 2020); Olanzapine (taken from late spring 2020 until late December 2020); Abilify (briefly for a couple of weeks in 2016, caused akethesia); Risperidone (2014-2016); Fluoxetine (two weeks in 2020); various sleep aids, e.g., Ativan, trazadone, mirtazapine and other antihistaminics (winter through summer of 2021). I don't remember most of the dosages and am leaving them blank. Currently: Latuda (40mg) (hoping to taper). Other: I do not smoke, do not drink, have only one cup of coffee in the morning, and don't use anything else. I exercise 3-4 times per week and watch my diet. My posts do not include any medical advice and I am not trained in medicine. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
IvetaK Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 Hello Hell, how are you doing? How is your sleep? I have read all your posts, because I have a similar problem, I mean a chronic insomnia. I guess it has occurred as a result of using various psych meds. But now I am using different hypnotics as an urgent help every third, fourth day in rotating way. Have you tried them? March 1, 2021 - April 29, 2021 various meds for insomnia (mostly hypnotics, antidepressants) April 29, 2021 - July 22, 2021 50 mg Quetepine for insomnia. July 22, 2021 - August 4, 2021 hospitalized for insomnia and Quetepine side effects July 22,2021-August 4, 2021 Diazepam in tiny dozes. Stopped right away. Withdrawal symptoms: anxiety, sweating, grief, insomnia. CURRENT: July 22, 2021 - Paroxetine 8 mg, trying to taper in slow way since August 22 Since August 4, 2021 Every third day Zopiclone 3.75, Olanzapine 5 mg, Zolpidem 3.75 mg for insomnia in a row. Twice, once a week Diazepam 1.75 mg or Phenibut for anxiety and/or withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Meeka Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 Hi Hell I hope your doing ok. I haven't posted in here for a long time now but thought I would come in to see how your doing? I often think about how I was at my worst I would refer back to your forum and find some comfort that I wasn't alone. At the time we were suffering insomnia together. And really felt where you were coming from, I understood exactly how you felt. These days I get sleep but still can't do it naturally, I need 25mg of Quetiapine for my body to feel sleepy enough." I eventually hope that I will go back to normal. Hope your ok x and doing much better. 1 2014/ sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg 2019 Aug/ Zoloft dose increased to 100 mg, adverse effects, decrease to 50 mg, 2019 Nov/ CT after adverse effects 2019 Nov/ Quetiapine 25mg 2020 Jan/ 13th Zoloft 5mg, reinstated 2020 Jan 15th/ increased to 25mg Zoloft, 2020 Jan 22nd/ increased to 50mg Zoloft 2021 April/ started decreasing Zoloft 2022 Jan/ Take Zoloft 50mg pill every 3 weeks or when I feel WD brain zaps (stopped completely about march 2022, 2022 March Started Mirtazapine 30mg, 2022 Nov Taper Mirtazapine to 15mg. Link to comment
Hell Posted October 7, 2022 Author Share Posted October 7, 2022 Hey everyone. First I want to say I apologise for my previous behaviour but I was in shock and panicking, couldn't really accept what happened to me and that my life will change forever. With time I guess I kinda accepted it and learned to live with it. This doesn't mean I am still not thinking about ending it because I feel useless and a burden to everyone in this condition. My life ended up to be a failure and on top of everything I got hit with this. Now, not much changed regarding my sleep. I quit tapering long time ago like I mentioned previously. I get dry eyes because of inadequate sleep for which I use eye drops. Only thing that changed is that I do feel sleepy now but my sleep is still broken into pieces and bad. I am physically weakish and cant walk much but mentally I manage. Short term memory is bad but other than that I can enjoy some hobbies and chat with people. Have fun online at least and enjoy it. I can answer your questions and hope everyone is holding on somehow. I love you guys and I am sorry about everything. My posts still need to be approved after my previous bhvr but I understand if it stays that way. Spreading panick and negativity will only make things worse for everyone. 3 2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression) 2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms 2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey 2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey, developed double vision if looking at close screens etc. 2019 - june to 13th november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking it 2019 - middle october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea... 24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa 3rd december - 5mg zyprexa new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes 11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa Late 2020 (gradually finished the taper back then) to present - meds free. No improvements regarding sleep. Developed dry eyes because lack of it. Only positive change is that I do feel sleepy now but sleep is the same, broken and not good. Link to comment
Arti Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 Hi Hell nice to hear from you ! No need to apologize you were not you. You condition was caused by the drugs. Even if you dont write it directly, I can hear in your words that there are small improvements With this crap everything take so damn long. Only to understand it right are you still at 4.3mg zyprexa ? 2 Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Hell Posted October 7, 2022 Author Share Posted October 7, 2022 24 minutes ago, Arti said: Hi Hell nice to hear from you ! No need to apologize you were not you. You condition was caused by the drugs. Even if you dont write it directly, I can hear in your words that there are small improvements With this crap everything take so damn long. Only to understand it right are you still at 4.3mg zyprexa ? Nah I quit a while ago. Went from 5mg to 0. I think I stopped late 2020. But tbh I wish I didn't go back to it at all when I did. Poisoning myself again was pointless and sleep was still bad. I did it because there was nothing else I could do and I needed something to give me "hope". Hence why I came here back in the day, scared. Don't get me wrong, I don't think tapering is a bad idea if you didn't quit and do it from the get go. But in my situation I just feel like I poisoned myself more for no reason when I went back on zyprexa. 1 2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression) 2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms 2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey 2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey, developed double vision if looking at close screens etc. 2019 - june to 13th november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking it 2019 - middle october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea... 24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa 3rd december - 5mg zyprexa new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes 11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa Late 2020 (gradually finished the taper back then) to present - meds free. No improvements regarding sleep. Developed dry eyes because lack of it. Only positive change is that I do feel sleepy now but sleep is the same, broken and not good. Link to comment
Mentor mstimc Posted October 7, 2022 Mentor Share Posted October 7, 2022 Welcome back, Hell. As @Arti said, you have nothing to apologize for. It’s great to read you’re able to enjoy some things and socialize a bit. Please keep checking in. 1 Tim C Started Paxil for GAD in 1999 Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006 Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009 Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety Link to comment
IvetaK Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 Hello, Hell, nice to hear you again. My sleep also is still fragmented, though I am already 5 months without drugs. Personally for me, yoga nidra during the day and meditation helps greatly in this situation. What about you? Are you practising or have been practising any kind of relaxation or meditation techniques?I highly recommend them when sleep quality is bad. 1 March 1, 2021 - April 29, 2021 various meds for insomnia (mostly hypnotics, antidepressants) April 29, 2021 - July 22, 2021 50 mg Quetepine for insomnia. July 22, 2021 - August 4, 2021 hospitalized for insomnia and Quetepine side effects July 22,2021-August 4, 2021 Diazepam in tiny dozes. Stopped right away. Withdrawal symptoms: anxiety, sweating, grief, insomnia. CURRENT: July 22, 2021 - Paroxetine 8 mg, trying to taper in slow way since August 22 Since August 4, 2021 Every third day Zopiclone 3.75, Olanzapine 5 mg, Zolpidem 3.75 mg for insomnia in a row. Twice, once a week Diazepam 1.75 mg or Phenibut for anxiety and/or withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Arti Posted October 8, 2022 Share Posted October 8, 2022 18 hours ago, Hell said: Nah I quit a while ago. Went from 5mg to 0. I think I stopped late 2020. But tbh I wish I didn't go back to it at all when I did. Poisoning myself again was pointless and sleep was still bad. I did it because there was nothing else I could do and I needed something to give me "hope". Hence why I came here back in the day, scared. Don't get me wrong, I don't think tapering is a bad idea if you didn't quit and do it from the get go. But in my situation I just feel like I poisoned myself more for no reason when I went back on zyprexa. It was the same for me. To reinstate made everything worse. I think once the cns is to much out of bounds nothing helps. If you are funktional slow tappering is the best way. But some of us dont have this Optin. So you are free and we are in the same Situation wait and hope if time helps to heal the cns wounds, and do our best to support that prozess. I wish you the very best ! As mstimc say please report from time to time how you are. Arti 1 Paroxetin 2003-2018 20mg, 4 Month fast tapper reinstate Jan2019 many updoses to 10mg again fast tapper quit at 1,5mg last last Dose May 2020 Trimipramin April 2019 10mg to 25mg 4 weeks last Dose April 2019 Dominal April 2019 - February 2021 40mg to 60mg fast tapper and ct at 23mg last Dose February 2021 Ativan May 2020 6 times 0,5mg irregular last Dose May 2020 Diazepam june 10 times 5mg irregular thougt i got depency and decide to take a small Dose every day, july 2020 0,14mg tappering every few weeks 16th January 2022 Zero Link to comment
Hell Posted October 8, 2022 Author Share Posted October 8, 2022 21 hours ago, IvetaK said: Hello, Hell, nice to hear you again. My sleep also is still fragmented, though I am already 5 months without drugs. Personally for me, yoga nidra during the day and meditation helps greatly in this situation. What about you? Are you practising or have been practising any kind of relaxation or meditation techniques?I highly recommend them when sleep quality is bad. Nah. I just go to sleep and usually get some but like I said it's pretty bad. I don't have trouble falling asleep it is just that the quality is really bad and I wake up tons. It is not rejuvenating. It is not about calmness for me either, I am unable to sleep properly because my brain is different now. I am relaxed as I can be. 2015 - Elicea for 2 months, quit cold turkey, survived withdrawal (brain zaps, severe depression) 2018 - april to july, Xanax, quit cold turkey, no serious withdrawal symptoms 2018 - august to late december, Mirtazapine, psychiatrist got me off it cold turkey 2019 - january to april, Seroxat, again stopped cold turkey, developed double vision if looking at close screens etc. 2019 - june to 13th november, Zyprexa (2.5mg-10mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking it 2019 - middle october to november 13th, Zoloft (0.6mg-25mg), tapered it on my own (few days) then stopped taking Horrible withdrawal with severe insomnia afterwards, not feeling hungry or sleepy, never tired, stomach problems, nausea... 24th november - reinstated 2.5mg zyprexa 3rd december - 5mg zyprexa new symptoms - glare, halos around lights, muscle twitching worse, eyelid and cheek twitching every 5-10 minutes 11th january 2020 - 4.3mg zyprexa Late 2020 (gradually finished the taper back then) to present - meds free. No improvements regarding sleep. Developed dry eyes because lack of it. Only positive change is that I do feel sleepy now but sleep is the same, broken and not good. Link to comment
Armorall Posted October 8, 2022 Share Posted October 8, 2022 @Hell I just wanted to stop in and say I am thinking of you ❤️ Thank you for staying on and keeping us updated. 1 3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg 3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg 7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone 7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg 7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects 8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg 8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever Currently taking vitamin C, D, E, a probiotic and fish oil. Message me here if you want: https://www.facebook.com/morra.lal.3/ I've been getting a lot of fake friend requests, so please send a message before friend requesting me, thank you! Link to comment
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