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wantrelief
47 minutes ago, Rabe said:

Hi WR...just wanted to stop by and let you know I have been thinking about you!  I am glad that things are as stable as they can be...though I know it is all so hard!!  Take care my friend!  Love and hugs!💜

Thanks for stopping by, Rabe!  I have been thinking about you too.  I hope you have been doing as well as possible.  This really is all so hard but we will get through it...together.  Love and hugs back at you. 💗

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bheb
1 hour ago, wantrelief said:

it is hard to know if I am on the right track or not.

Yes for sure! I also keep looking to my body for feedback. And for me it's hard to tell as well because my main symptoms are all pretty much a derivation of agitation/restlessness. I haven't had any other classic WD symptoms (not complaining) to give me an idea of how my mind/body is reacting to my changes.

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neroli
On 1/18/2019 at 12:00 PM, wantrelief said:

I am trying to take all of this in stride but often fail at that to be honest.  I am constantly battling fearful thoughts as well as feeling down about how unwell I feel day-to-day. I just keep holding onto the hope that this will get better someday

Hello WR

 

I well know what you mean - the daily grind.   I do hope you get some periods of relief.

 

Having you here (though it's not good for you) is such a support.

 

love

 

Neroli 💜

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Rabe
1 hour ago, neroli said:

I am trying to take all of this in stride but often fail at that to be honest.  I am constantly battling fearful thoughts as well as feeling down about how unwell I feel day-to-day. I just keep holding onto the hope that this will get better someday

 

Im sorry WR....I am with you in this as well.  I have been so not feeling well and have been reacting to the CLonazepam again which makes me fearful because I never know what effect it is going to have.  This afternoon it was dizziness and feeling unwell, tonight it is huge ear ringing, nausea, headace, depression...blah blah.  I too hold on to the hope of better days...though some times I have to admit that grows thin as well.

Thinking about you and wanted you to know you are not alone!!  Take care my friend!  Love and hugs!💜

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neroli

Hello Wantrelief

 

Saying hello and hoping today is a bit better for you.  Think I'm still down a bit of a rabbit hole but have managed to do my grocery shopping which is a positive.

 

Thinking of you.

 

 

xxxx

 

Neroli 💜

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Rabe

Just thinking about you WR!💜

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wantrelief

Hello friends,

 

I wanted to document that after a one-week crossover to a new clonazepam generic, one week on the new generic alone and no noticeable consequences (thankfully!), I decided to resume my taper last night and made another small cut.  I am hoping to do another one in two weeks if all goes well with this one.  I am going very slowly in the hope that the taper doesn't disturb my baseline too much. I must admit to wondering if I could do larger cuts and make more progress but for now will stick to this plan. I so want to feel better but at the same time, I am scared to make things worse and not be able to move forward to getting off of this drug. So for now I slowly move the dose downwards.

 

Thank you for all of the continued support....it helps give me strength to keep going. 💗

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jen84

I'm glad the crossover went so well for you WR, and I hope your tapering goes just as smooth. 

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wantrelief

Thank you so very much for your well wishes, @jen84.....I really appreciate your kind thoughts.  

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Flowers

Fantastic news about the brand crossover WR!  I think it is wise to take things slowly to keep as stable as possible. Well done.

 

Thanks for visiting my thread by the way and for all the lovely things you said. It helped a lot.  Things have been challenging lately but I am still plodding on!

 

Sending love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

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Rosetta

I'm so glad you weathered the crossover without consequences!!  Good luck with your reduction.

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wantrelief
1 hour ago, Flowers said:

Fantastic news about the brand crossover WR!  I think it is wise to take things slowly to keep as stable as possible. Well done.

 

Thanks for visiting my thread by the way and for all the lovely things you said. It helped a lot.  Things have been challenging lately but I am still plodding on!

 

Sending love and hugs

 

Flowers xxx

Thank you very much for your encouragement, Flowers.  I am so glad my message helped you as you have definitely helped me.  You are doing an amazing job of "plodding on"....we shall plod together!  

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wantrelief

Thank you so much for your well wishes, @Rosetta.....it means a lot to me.  🙂  I am thinking about you - WR.

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Rabe

Hi WR...SO happy to hear about the generic!  What generic did you switch from and to if I could ask?  That is really a milestone right there.  I think you are wise in not pushing too hard but sticking with your plan for a while just to be on the safe side!💜

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wantrelief

You are always so sweet and supportive, @Rabe....thank you.  I actually don't know the name of either generic.  If I had had a problem I would have investigated that.  I hope you are doing ok, my friend.

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neroli

Hello Wantrelief - super friend-in-arms today.

 

Thank you so much for your support.

 

I hope your reduction goes well.  I'll keep an eye out for how you are getting on.

 

love

 

Neroli 💜

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Rabe

Hi WR...read your post on Nerolis thread...I wanted you to know you are not alone.  I too have been feeling so tired of it all...much I could do but Im too tired a to do it or just dont care to do it.  I mean I care but its that just not being able to get myself to do things.  Its awful and so not me....well the me I was.

I am holding you in my heart and sending hugs my friend.  Take care!!!💜

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Rabe

Hi WR...thank you for your sweet post on my thread.  Your support means SO much!!  I wanted you to know I am thinking about you and hoping the meds are going ok!!! 💜

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Rabe

How are you doing WR?  Thinking bout you lots and sending love and hugs your way my friend!💜

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neroli

Hello Wantrelief

 

I'm popping in with a virtual cup of tea to have a wee chat with you.

 

You haven't posted on your thread here for a few days, so I hope you are doing ok, with your cut.  Plodding on as you say.

 

On 1/21/2019 at 5:06 AM, wantrelief said:

Thank you for all of the continued support....it helps give me strength to keep going.

I know what you mean, I always find the support helps me to realise I'm not alone and I am plodding along the same road as so many other people - side by side.

 

I cut 0.25mg Diaz. two weeks ago.  It's been a bit rocky - lots more fatigue and lead legs but I think there's a bad day/better day pattern that alternates.  I've managed to hold things together which is a blessing.  I'm quietly confident that I will be able to ride this cut out and not up dose.

 

I, too, have a desire to cut more and more often but I'm getting more wisdom (???) and realising that too much too soon can unbalance me more than I can handle, so I'm going to hold for a while.

 

It's Saturday here, early afternoon, 1 and a half hours until I can have my afternoon "real" cup of tea.  So I'll knit or colour or do a relaxation meditation to pass the time.

 

Thinking of you, f-i-a

 

xxxx

 

Neroli 💜

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wantrelief

Hello @Rabe and @neroli.  Thank you, my friends, for your sweet messages and for checking-in....it means a lot to me.  It has been almost been a week since my last decrease and I don't think I've noticed anything out of the ordinary.  The last couple of days have been difficult but I don't think it is anything new really, just the usual fears around this process and how long I may feel this way.  It is strange how some days are worse than others in this regard.  Everyday is difficult to get through and it takes so much effort....it is tiring and hard to feel like it will ever be any different.  But....there must be some ounce of hope in me or I wouldn't be on this journey.  I will pop by your threads soon. I am thinking about you both. Much love - WR. 💗

 

 

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neroli

Hello WR

 

21 hours ago, wantrelief said:

The last couple of days have been difficult but I don't think it is anything new really, just the usual fears around this process and how long I may feel this way.  It is strange how some days are worse than others in this regard.  Everyday is difficult to get through and it takes so much effort....it is tiring and hard to feel like it will ever be any different.

I couldn't agree more - it is so tiring and takes a lot of effort to keep confronting the worse days.  This is a selfish post, really, I'm having a tough day - apathy and great fatigue again and I just needed to "voice" it to someone who understands.

 

I've got a friend coming at 1.00pm and though it will be nice to see her, I do have part of me that doesn't want to put on a social face (even thought she is someone I can be honest with).

 

I'm hoping this is part of the seemingly alternate day up/down cycle since I last reduced, and that tomorrow will be a better day.  Today is just about biding time the best I can and not getting too caught up in the apathy.

 

Glad to hear you don't seem to have had any particularly worsened symptoms since your drop.

 

xxx

 

Neroli 💜

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wantrelief

Hello @neroli,

 

Indeed I do very much understand how you are feeling and am so sorry you are again getting hit with the apathy and intense fatigue.  I am really glad you are meeting up with an understanding friend.  I am hopeful you'll feel a bit better after your time with her.  Social support has been a huge help for me even though it takes everything within me to socialize.  Once I am with an understanding person, I do find it helps even if it is just for that short time I am with them.  It sounds like you are doing the best you can to get through a rough day.  

 

Thank you for the well wishes regarding the last drop I did.  I will breathe a little easier next week but so far so good at least.

 

Thinking of you, my friend, and sending you lots of love and hugs - WR.

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neroli
18 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

Thinking of you, my friend, and sending you lots of love and hugs - WR.

Thank you friend-in arms.  I could cry.  Sending love and hugs back.

 

Hope next week goes well for you - it will be good to have a stable-ish (I know your baseline isn't great) week and be able to relax with confidence that you have gone through a reduction with little rattling of your system.

 

Much love

 

Neroli 💜

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DMV64
On 1/25/2019 at 7:53 PM, wantrelief said:

just the usual fears around this process and how long I may feel this way.

Oh WR! I am right there with you. I wish we could all be together to help one another. I am thinking of you...

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wantrelief

Thank you for your message, @DMV64. I am sorry you feel the same way but it is good to know I am not alone.  I too wish we could all be together to help one another....that would be lovely.  I am thinking about you too and hope you are doing ok.

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Rosetta

Sending you warmest hugs, Wantrelief.

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wantrelief
On 1/27/2019 at 8:30 PM, Rosetta said:

Sending you warmest hugs, Wantrelief.

Thank you so much, Rosetta. I am sending you warmest hugs back.  I was so happy to read that you enjoyed your trip to the museum....healing is happening, my friend.

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Rabe
On 1/25/2019 at 6:53 PM, wantrelief said:

The last couple of days have been difficult but I don't think it is anything new really, just the usual fears around this process and how long I may feel this way.  It is strange how some days are worse than others in this regard.  Everyday is difficult to get through and it takes so much effort....it is tiring and hard to feel like it will ever be any different.  But....there must be some ounce of hope in me or I wouldn't be on this journey.

Hi WR, I am so grateful to read that the drop has gone well so far....that is wonderful!  I am with you in what you expressed above...I often feel like I am alone in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket and nothing to see except the water for miles.  Then I have a bit of a break which a gift...that ounce of hope you speak of.  I think about you daily and hold you in my heart, WR....sending hugs and love your way my friend.  Take care of you!!💜 

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wantrelief
4 hours ago, Rabe said:

I often feel like I am alone in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket and nothing to see except the water for miles.  Then I have a bit of a break which a gift...that ounce of hope you speak of

You describe this experience so well with your analogy.  I was saddened to read on your thread that you are feeling so unwell today; the symptoms you are experiencing sound really hard. Hang in there, my friend, and hopefully that break will come soon.

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Rabe

Bless you WR...love and hugs to you my friend!💜

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Rabe

Hope things continue to go well my friend!  Take care!!💜

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Rosetta

I hope today is a good one.  Hugs! - R

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wantrelief

Thanks for stopping by @Rabe and @Rosetta!  I really appreciate the well wishes.  I have had some rough times this past week which for me feels like a wave within a wave.  I think hormones are at play but I never really know for sure.  So far today has been better so hopefully will be able to go ahead with my planned cut tonight. Love to you both, WR. 💗

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neroli
44 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

So far today has been better so hopefully will be able to go ahead with my planned cut tonight.

Hello friend-in-arms, thank you for your message on my thread.  Today will be a test to see how I feel, last Sunday I noted some dark thoughts in my symptom diary.  Yes, yesterday was a bit of a relief in the apathy department.  Today, I feel as though I overdid it yesterday, body stiff and achy.   Still, I've been out for a 35 min. walk and can now rest and let the day happen as it unfolds.  I suspect there will be more knitting and colouring.

 

I'm glad you feel better so far today, and that your planned cut goes well.  I'm going to hold for February and then see where I go from there.  The way my body is seeming to get stiffer, I sure hope I can reduce some to hopefully ease up that stiffness.

 

Much love WR

 

xx

 

Neroli 💜

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wantrelief

Thank you @neroli (aka f-i-a) for your well wishes regarding my cut...I really appreciate your support!  I am nervous but hopefully all will go ok. I am so glad you were able to get out for a walk even though you were feeling stiff and achy.  I hope you enjoy your restful day, my friend. Much love back, WR. 

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