Regularjoe42: Risperidone has destroyed my mental capacities

[Regularjoe42]

In august 2020 my mother started slipping risperidone in my food without my knowledge. Reason being she came to know about my weed use and anger issues. 

I had immediate adverse reactions to the medicine. It gave me the worst anxiety of my life and had me VERY suicidal. Then came effects on my cognitive abilities. It made me feel like i had a dent in my brain and i had memory issues too. I was not able to speak and form sentences in my head, my mind had turned absolutely blank without a single thought while earlier i had thoughts racing across my brain. My creativity has died. I have no interests in the activities i used to fo earlier, in fact i have forgotten who i really was. I have lost my former self with wit and sense of humor. I have been living like a lobotomized zombie. Its been almost 4 months since i have been drug free but my condition hasn't changed much. I am desperately in need of insight as to why is this happening. Is my brain permanently damaged? 

Edited December 29, 2020 by manymoretodays
name to title

[Sunnyday]

Welcome @Regularjoe42

 

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, and especially that you ended up getting drugs into your system without knowing. 
Your brain will heal, but unfortunately it can take a long time to heal from adverse reactions. I would recommend you read the link below, and there are also several good links within that one, for example knowing about the windows and waves pattern that happens, can be very useful to know about when going through this:

 

Immediate adverse reactions to an antidepressant or within a few doses? How long for recovery?

 

Feeling like we're losing who we are also seems like a very common thing, unfortunately. It's an awful feeling but you will get back to who you were. It just takes some time.

 

Because we're so sensitive in this situation, it can be good to keep in mind that any drugs or supplements can make the situation worse. The only two supplements we recommend are omega-3 and magnesium. Just make sure to only start with one at a time and at a low dose if you should want to try them.

 

Omega-3

Magnesium

 

Have you had any improvements during these 4 months at all, even if small? Recognising and documenting any improvement is important, so you can look back and realise that recovery is happening. Otherwise the waves can sometimes make it feel like we're not. 

 

For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal

 

 

Take care and please keep us updated on how you're doing.

[Regularjoe42]

The doctors are saying that I was on a low dose for a short duration and are refusing to believe me. I have developed retrograde ejaculation ( dry orgasms/ no ejaculate) from the medicine which is one of the side effects of the medicine. It went away after a while but returned when I started smoking cigarettes and I wanted to ask if this has any corelation to smoking. Also, I have not gained any relief from the cognitive problems too. I feel like I have lost a large part of my intelligence, I am unable to communicate intelligently. My mind is blank most of the times and I am unable to come up with ideas. I have lost all hope now since its been such a long time since I stopped taking risperidone. i have lost my libido for the past 4 months. any insight on this?

[manymoretodays]

Hi Regularjoe42, and welcome,

Would you go ahead and add the date(s) to your signature, when you were on the risperidone.

 

I would think if your difficulty came back when you began smoking cigarettes, it might be related.  See what happens when you go without cigarettes.

 

So you were doing great, prior to your Mom slipping risperidone in your food?

Regularjoe, there is a really good possibility that you will be doing just fine again then, if that is so.

Sometimes, it can take time to recover from a medication like risperidone.  And it does have that tendency to flatten one out.

Risperidone;Uses, Dosage, Side Effects-Drugs.com

 

The cognitive difficulties are common with WD(withdrawal) and it may be similar after an adverse drug effect too.

Brain fog: blank mind, comprehension,concentration cognitive, and memory problems

just so you know you are not alone with this symptom

 

I don't have much to add on the lost libido, but I think it most likely will be a short term problem, and improve soon.  I know it's been a tough 4 months or so, but do have hope, and don't lose patience while waiting for healing.

 

In the meantime, take care of yourself really well.  Get some exercise, and outside time.  Eat well.  You may want to abstain from the weed or alcohol, as those are psychoactive substances too. 

How are you doing with your anger issues?  Have you found a way to manage them(I see that mentioned in your first post).  That might be something to look into.

We've got a topic on anger, and I think there is even an online class in the first post, that you could check out, if desired./

Managing anger

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

[Regularjoe42]

 

On 1/12/2021 at 11:09 AM, manymoretodays said:

Hi Regularjoe42, and welcome,

Would you go ahead and add the date(s) to your signature, when you were on the risperidone.

 

I would think if your difficulty came back when you began smoking cigarettes, it might be related.  See what happens when you go without cigarettes.

 

So you were doing great, prior to your Mom slipping risperidone in your food?

Regularjoe, there is a really good possibility that you will be doing just fine again then, if that is so.

Sometimes, it can take time to recover from a medication like risperidone.  And it does have that tendency to flatten one out.

Risperidone;Uses, Dosage, Side Effects-Drugs.com

 

The cognitive difficulties are common with WD(withdrawal) and it may be similar after an adverse drug effect too.

Brain fog: blank mind, comprehension,concentration cognitive, and memory problems

just so you know you are not alone with this symptom

 

I don't have much to add on the lost libido, but I think it most likely will be a short term problem, and improve soon.  I know it's been a tough 4 months or so, but do have hope, and don't lose patience while waiting for healing.

 

In the meantime, take care of yourself really well.  Get some exercise, and outside time.  Eat well.  You may want to abstain from the weed or alcohol, as those are psychoactive substances too. 

How are you doing with your anger issues?  Have you found a way to manage them(I see that mentioned in your first post).  That might be something to look into.

We've got a topic on anger, and I think there is even an online class in the first post, that you could check out, if desired./

Managing anger

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Thanks for the reply many more. I have added the dates to my signatures. 

 

I also think that smoking on top of these antipsychotic might be the reason for majority of my worries. I am trying to keep off them but i am heavily addicted to nicotine. And yes i was doing completly fine before i was fed risperidone. I am extremely helpless now no one is beleiving me. I am feeling everyday that my mind is melting. I have difficulty in thinking freely and problem solving as if my mind is just refusing to think. Earlier i used to enjoy music and doing a lot of activities that made me feel joy but now i am all blank. I am suffering from severe anhedonia and all music is just noise to me. I have forgotten what i used to like and dislike and every thing is just ' flat' to me. I have lost all hope that i will recover from this as something has gone horribly wrong with my brain without me being able to describe to anyone. On top of that this sexual dysfunction. I never even thought that my life will end up like this. Everyday i just think about killing myself and stare in the walls to kill time. I have no hopes that I will ever recover from this state. I have grown extremely bitter towards my mother but i cant express it. How could one do this to someone feeding them poison and making them handicapped for life. As much as I would like to believe it, but this dosent look like short term. Especially the sexual dysfunction. 

 

My anger issues mainly came from my family being extremely dysfunctional and i had some bouts of anger here and there but now i havent felt anger or any emotion for months. 

 

This has been the worst my life has offered me yet and i dont think i will survive this. It has killed me from the inside all that is left is to finish the outside shell. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Regularjoe42,

Well, as far as the nicotine addiction goes, I can relate.

And a wise person here, no less, encouraged me to taper off.......which I have, and have made great progress.  Almost free!  It does get tough, or did/has for me.......at a certain point and I am still wondering whether to jump completely off, from a much lower intake than before, or to just stick with a minimal amount, perhaps the equivalent of just one cigarette a day, split into 3.  So anyway......just some ideas for you there.

 

I believe you.  And don't lose hope.

Any chance of a change in environment?  Might be good to get away from the dysfunctional family you mentioned, and just work hard on self care.  Hard to heal in a tough environment.

 

Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness and anesthesia

and I'm seeing some further links in the first post ^, a longer topic, but something there will grab you, renew hope of healing, and help you know that you are not suffering alone

 

Oh Regular42, it's so worth it, to survive this.  You'll find this resilience for just about anything.......that sense of courage and strength.

I just finished getting this Success Story posted:  Purplestars22: Celexa Success Story

And not your drug, I know.......but just read it, it might help.

 

And hey, if you want go to poetry, or just try music......listening, until it does sink in again.  It can't hurt.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

and I know you are void of emotions now, or flat, and in the darkness, but I want you to go to the first post, and then scroll down the indexed list to the art and music therapy topics, and see if any of those help.  You're going to be coming on, and updating all emotional one of these days Regularjoe........I am feeling it.  Just try and be a bit active.......even while so blah.  Sometimes it helps.

 

Walk.  Get dressed.  Spiff up a bit.  Simple stuff really.

 

And oh, how are you eating?  Eat!

 

You'll recover.  Just believe in that.  That also helps.

 

Oh, and best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

[Regularjoe42]

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Regularjoe42,

Well, as far as the nicotine addiction goes, I can relate.

And a wise person here, no less, encouraged me to taper off.......which I have, and have made great progress.  Almost free!  It does get tough, or did/has for me.......at a certain point and I am still wondering whether to jump completely off, from a much lower intake than before, or to just stick with a minimal amount, perhaps the equivalent of just one cigarette a day, split into 3.  So anyway......just some ideas for you there.

 

I believe you.  And don't lose hope.

Any chance of a change in environment?  Might be good to get away from the dysfunctional family you mentioned, and just work hard on self care.  Hard to heal in a tough environment.

 

Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness and anesthesia

and I'm seeing some further links in the first post ^, a longer topic, but something there will grab you, renew hope of healing, and help you know that you are not suffering alone

 

Oh Regular42, it's so worth it, to survive this.  You'll find this resilience for just about anything.......that sense of courage and strength.

I just finished getting this Success Story posted:  Purplestars22: Celexa Success Story

And not your drug, I know.......but just read it, it might help.

 

And hey, if you want go to poetry, or just try music......listening, until it does sink in again.  It can't hurt.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

and I know you are void of emotions now, or flat, and in the darkness, but I want you to go to the first post, and then scroll down the indexed list to the art and music therapy topics, and see if any of those help.  You're going to be coming on, and updating all emotional one of these days Regularjoe........I am feeling it.  Just try and be a bit active.......even while so blah.  Sometimes it helps.

 

Walk.  Get dressed.  Spiff up a bit.  Simple stuff really.

 

And oh, how are you eating?  Eat!

 

You'll recover.  Just believe in that.  That also helps.

 

Oh, and best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Thanks for your kind words. I'll post again if there are any changes in my situation.