Yesyes123: Will I ever be able to quit Lexapro?

[Yesyes123]

I took a generic Lexapro 10mg (oxalate of escitalopram) from age 15 to now (I'm currently 21).

 

Last year I tried tapering it off for over a month and after stopping it I had the absolute worst breakdown of my life, most intense depression I've ever had and nearly lost my life.

 

Now I'm back on it 15mg/ day and fearing I might never be able to stop it.

 

It's so sad they put me on this at age 15 when I had absolutely no clue what it was. I only had some trouble with school and they altered my biology forever because of it. I'm feeling hopeless about this and starting to accept I might have to take it forever.

Edited January 13, 2021 by manymoretodays
moved from S and SC, name added to title

[Yesyes123]

Does anyone know someone who took Lexapro (Escitalopram) during their teenage years?

 

 

I have been taking it for 6 years 10mg/ day (since I was 15 years old - currently 21) and last year tried to taper it off for nearly 2 months which obviously isn't nearly as long as you should with this drug.

 

 

I feel like since I grew up on it I might never be able to stop it.

 

Felt fine with minor withdrawal effects for the first 4-6 weeks and then had the worst breakdown ever. Terribly paired with some of the most traumatic events of my life and also a global pandemic, it was the worst time of my life for sure. 

 

 

Maybe worse than that is learning that I have been put on medication that can cause this type of hell when stopped and that I might have to take it forever. And for a stupid reason, I was only 15 years old and dealing with some minor problems...

 

I got back on it 10mg as soon as the withdrawal effects got unbearable (about 4 months ago) and then the doctor upped it to 15mg about 2 months ago. 

 

I can slowly feel myself getting a grip over me again and honestly I'm thankful for being alive, despite all I've gone through.

 

I plan to maintain the 15mg/ day dose for a semester at the very least so I don't have to worry about experiencing anything like that again during this period.

 

I basically don't know life without this medication. I only have vague memories of before I was 15. I haven't been depressed and basically not even sad for the whole time I was on it, since the problems that I had before getting on it were resolved easily. I was told to keep taking it to prevent depression from coming back and sadly took it everyday for all these years.

 

I really want to be free from this drug, it has caused me so much pain and suffering. What hurts most is to think I could just have never gotten on it and would be perfectly healthy now. But I can't change the past so I accept life as it is.

 

What are my options after the next 6 months on it? Should I maybe stay on this dose for a year to avoid more problems?

 

I'm still very nervous and crying nearly everyday from all I've been through in the last few months and I feel like it will be a while before I can feel like myself again, even on the medication.

 

But I really want to be free from it someday. I've seen tapering methods but all of those involve some sort of pain and suffering and I really don't wish to go there again because of this medication. 

 

Should I just take it forever? Is it worth tapering off? 

 

Maybe I can switch to fluoxetine for a while and then taper that off? I've heard it's easier. Any feedback is welcome, thank you.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Yesyes123

 

How do you feel on 15mg Lexapro?

 

 

[Yesyes123]

I feel like I'm getting better but extremely anxious about being on this medication for so long.

 

Would a switch to 10mg/day cause trouble at this point?

[Neon]

Hello yesyes,

I am no moderator so I cannot give any advice, but from what I have read here, when you withdraw really slowly you might still have some WD effects but they are a lot lot less severe from what you have experienced and it is not so interrupting. Just a little annoying at times (that it from what I gathered on this website). I also did CT and it was very hellish and traumatizing so I completely understand you. I was also put on them for something minor when I was really young (19) and I am very hopeful that I will get off them even if it is hard. I am sure if you stabilize now and then do it slowly you can deal well with the effects (maybe you hardly notice it when you do it slowly). I'm sure people with more expertise can give you some advice but I wouldnt worry that you can never get off them. Wish you all the best in recovery.

[Yesyes123]

Hey I really need help! Please! I feel like my life is at risk and im only 21

 

Please check the posts i made  on the forum if you can

 

I took the SSRI escitalopram 10mg from age 15 to 21 (now) and tried to taper off during 2 months last year (obviously way too fast!) 

 

I had the worst breakdown of my life and nearly died. I'm so grateful to be alive today. 

 

Taper off - June/ July

Felt ok minor WD effects - August/ September

Extreme breakdown - October (reinstated 10mg)

 

Went to see the psychiatrist and he told me to up the dosage to 15mg. Have been on 15mg for about 2 or 3 months and feel like I'm beginning to feel like myself again. 

 

Is that too high of a dose after all that happened? Should I go back to 10mg? I feel like I should just keep taking 15mg for now and wait until I'm stable. What else can i do? Please help me... thank you

 

What should I do to  help reestablish my mental health during this period? Thank you

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Sorry to hear ur struggling at such a young age. I wonder what made ur psychiatrist put u on lexapro at the age of 15?.... I would do two things if i were you: 

1) find immediately another psychiatrist... one who understands that u cannot keep someone in an AD for years and years.

2. Listen to the advices in this site for an extremely slow tapering.

you are very young and brain plasticity is in favour of your healing.

[Toast]

I can relate to being put on an antidepressant as a child - it's horrible, but you are still young, like JesusSaveMeFromWD mentioned, this is in your favor! It is good that you recognized sooner rather than later that it is not great to stay on these drugs indefinitely. In terms of reestablishing mental health after a difficult period, I've found exercise, drinking lots of water, and remembering every day my goals (both in medication tapering and in life) to be helpful. 

 

I hope you are able to hang in there and remain hopeful! Sending love and support ❤️

[Yesyes123]

Can anyone please recommend me a tapering method for lexapro?

[manymoretodays]

Hi Yesyes123, @Yesyes123

Just one Introduction topic per member is the rule.  That way, all your stuff is in one place, and it can be so helpful to see what has been responded too, and what hasn't.

 

On 1/15/2021 at 12:53 PM, Yesyes123 said:

Hey I really need help! Please! I feel like my life is at risk and im only 21

 

Please check the posts i made  on the forum if you can

 

I took the SSRI escitalopram 10mg from age 15 to 21 (now) and tried to taper off during 2 months last year (obviously way too fast!) 

 

I had the worst breakdown of my life and nearly died. I'm so grateful to be alive today. 

 

Taper off - June/ July

Felt ok minor WD effects - August/ September

Extreme breakdown - October (reinstated 10mg)

 

Went to see the psychiatrist and he told me to up the dosage to 15mg. Have been on 15mg for about 2 or 3 months and feel like I'm beginning to feel like myself again. 

 

Is that too high of a dose after all that happened? Should I go back to 10mg? I feel like I should just keep taking 15mg for now and wait until I'm stable. What else can i do? Please help me... thank you

 

What should I do to  help reestablish my mental health during this period? Thank you

 

I'm looking at your previous posts and it looks like you've been on the 15 mg.

And you are feeling like yourself again, you state.

 

And yes, stability is good.

 

And then when you feel ready, and feel pretty informed too, you can start your taper.  That 15 mg is a pretty hefty dose of an AD(antidepressant), comparitively.  We do want you to go slowly though, this time, and carefully.  Or slower. 

 

We go with a harm reduction approach to tapering.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage

and then this refers to 10% off each previous dose

And then you might be able to tolerate a quicker taper, from the higher dosages too to a bit of lower dose.  Like from the 15 mg down to 10 mg. You might be able to tolerate tapers every couple of weeks instead of a month, between tapers.  We can help you.  And help you learn how to get comfortable listening to your body, and even keeping some form of notes, after you make dose changes........until you know how this will all go.

 

Tips for tapering Lexapro(escitalopram)

 

So I'm guessing you'll be glad to look the above couple of topics over now.  And then just ask Yesyes123.  Lot's of youth here too.  I mean I hope you don't mind a lot of doting Aunties either......or have ageism.  Yikes,  I'm reliving my 20's at this very moment.  Only kidding.  You'll fit in here just fine.

 

And welcome aboard Yesyes123.

 

Would you also:  Please summarize your withdrawal history in your signature

and this is different from what you filled out initially.  You'll see other members signatures below their posts, and the signatures are really helpful to see, as then we can get an idea of your history at a glance, where ever you post.  Just click on the link ^, and you'll see what I'm asking for.

 

This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here regarding your tapering, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

 

All for now.  Keep us updated, and ask away, when questions arise.  Right here, on your Introduction is a good place to do that.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

[Yesyes123]

I am absolutely terrified. I have no words to express what I am going through.

 

I must thank God for this forum. I was about to go on the antipsychotics the INSANE psychiatrist perscribed me for bipolarity after the escitalopram withdrawal.

 

I have no idea how to begin to explain this to my father.

[Yesyes123]

Down here are immediate questions that I desperately need help with! Please...

 

Intro:

 

I reinstated escitalopram at 10mg about 4 months ago, and about 3 months ago the crazy psychiatrist upped the dosage to 15mg/ day, which is what I'm currently on.

 

- How long until escitalopram 15mg/ day stabilizes again and I can feel like I used to when I was on it these past years?

 

- What else can I do to help me stabilize? 

 

- Should I take supplements?

 

- Should I quit coffee?

 

- How long until I can start tapering off?

 

- What should my diet be like?

 

I'm not near as bad as I was 3 months ago, but I'm still having insane sobbing moments almost everyday in the same time (afternoon) feeling like my life is over and I have no control over my mind.

 

 

Been having insomnia probably from overthinking all this and how I've been intoxicated by this awful drug at such a young age.

 

I desperately need help. I am trying my best not do terrify my mother and grandmother but this is truly scary.

 

Thank you all.

 

 

[Yesyes123]

How do I manage overthinking and imagining what my life would be like if I had never been put onto these death pills? This is the hardest part I think.

 

 

[Yesyes123]

Is there a topic about escitalopram reinstatement or any other info I can get?

[bijay]

4 hours ago, Yesyes123 said:

How do I manage overthinking and imagining what my life would be like if I had never been put onto these death pills? This is the hardest part I think.

 

Yes it is very hard, and I think I know how you feel.  I also overthink things, and that can lead to negativism, catastrophic thinking, self-pity.   I think it is important to realize when I do this, and make a conscious decision about what to do next.  Like distraction, countering it with positive thoughts, or just letting it all out (pounding the bed with a pillow is my favorite.)  At least that is what I try to do.  Some days I fail, but the most important thing is to keep trying.   As @Toast just posted, each day you can get through now is an investment in your future.     

[Altostrata]

Do you feel better taking 15mg than when you were taking 10mg?

 

Have your withdrawal symptoms gone away? How's your sleep? What times of day do you take your drugs, and their dosages?

[Yesyes123]

Thank you all so much. I need to stay calm and take it one day at a time. That's all I can do now.

 

[Yesyes123]

I am sweating a lot more taking 15mg than when I was taking 10mg. 

 

The last few months I have been crying everyday for absolutely everything. That is slowly fading, I am crying less. 

 

I get desperate everyday at around 3-4pm. These feelings griefing for my old self and how amazing my life was before trying to taper off escitalopram too fast. 

 

I was getting ok sleep these past months when I didn't really know what was going on. Now I can barely ever sleep, probably because of the terror of knowing what was done to me.

[Yesyes123]

The only drug I take is Escitalopram 15mg. I take the brand Exodus. I was taking it 3am everyday but now am taking it around 6am.

[Yesyes123]

Altostrata, please tell me this - I will get more stable as time goes on and I keep taking escitalopram right?

[Yesyes123]

I got perscribed Lamictal (Lamotrigine). Would that help at all? Should I start taking the 25mg dose and slowly increase to 100mg? Thanks

[Neon]

Hi Yesyes,

I am not an expert, so I cannot advise you on the dosages, but I think it is really important that you trust that you found this website with many people on it who have been advising people for a long time and that they will figure out the best way for you to do it.

I am in pretty rough withdrawal myself right now and have been before, and I tend to freak out over whether it will ever get better, but then I try to calm myself down, and breathe, and find my center (I know ☺️) and remember that it hasnt always been like this, that it will not be like this forever and many before me have gotten better. Even though that seems the hardest thing to do right now. Looking frenetically for something to escape only aggravates my symptoms.

And from what I have gathered on here it is really important not to make short-sited, impulsive dosage changes or adding something etc because that just possibly adds time because it further destabilizes the nervous system, so it is really important not to do that even though the only thing one wants is to find something to relieve the pain.

The most important thing is to accept, to be patient and to think about the fact that it will get better!!

Also you are still really young which can only help in a good recovery.

Remember you came off pretty much Cold Turkey which is nothing like reducing the medication really slowly. That is a whole different process and much easier.

Just trust that you can and will get better. The moderators on here really know what they are doing.

Wish you the best!

[Yesyes123]

Thank you so much

 

Currently on 15mg/ day Escitalopram 

 

Taking 1 + 1/2 pill from Exodus brand at 6am

 

Been on this for about 3 months and still suffering from severe anxiety, excessive sweating, DP/DR

 

Any tips are extremely welcome

[Yesyes123]

I've had some noticeable progress in the last 3 months - that means I will eventually get back to where I was right?

[Yesyes123]

Thinking of starting Magnesium Citrate 25mg/day. I drink some soda everyday (Coke, pepsi) and feel it calms me down (I get relief from it).

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1. Try to stay positive by reminding yourself that u didn’t take ur psychiatrist”s advice to go on an antipsychotic.... that would have made things much worst for you. I had the same experience as you: I visited a psychiatrist when I had just reduced Zoloft to 4mg and instead of telling me it is WD, he told me I needed to go on an antipsychotic.... luckily I rejected his uneducated and harmful advice.

2.  I am not a moderator or a medical doctor but maybe if u could try just a 2-5% reduction  on your current lexapro dose and stay in it for sometime, and see how ur body handles it. That might give u the confidence that it is just a matter of time and a short taper to be meds free. 

[Yesyes123]

Thank you so much JesussavemeFromWD.

[Yesyes123]

I realise we will be good friends here from now on. I plan to come on here daily.

 

I am 21 years old, from Brazil.

 

English is my second language and I have a Cambridge Professional English certification with an A+ that I got when I was 15 (same time I was put on Lexapro, unfortunately).

 

 

[Yesyes123]

If you know anyone here from Brazil who needs help translating to English, I will be providing that service for free

[JesusSavemefromWD]

English is my second language as well, but I think we are both doing pretty well with it!

[JesusSavemefromWD]

3 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

If you know anyone here from Brazil who needs help translating to English, I will be providing that service for free

I am not from Brazil 😌

[Yesyes123]

I have a close friend who was on Lexapro from ages 14 - 16 and then quit cold turkey and then was diagnosed bipolar and has been on all those insane antipsychotic meds for years.

 

She has attempted suicide multiple times since then.

 

This is horrifying. I had absolutely no idea about any of this until this year.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

It is horrific. That’s why I am telling you just be happy u didn’t take the antipsychotic and u only have to worry about one drug to taper off. I am sorry for your friend. She is still very young and that’s always plus for recovery. You should advice her to join this website. I am sure no one has ever spoken to her about very slow tapering over months/years and one drug at a time. Have her sign up to get help.

[Yesyes123]

Honestly I am trying my best not to attempt to explain this to anyone at the present moment.

 

People just won't believe me. I am too young and not a doctor. It's exhausting.

 

I am still extremely unstable, having extreme mood swings/ crying tantrums and extreme anxiety. I need to focus all my energy in my recovery for the present moment. I just don't feel like myself yet.

 

Once I'm stable, I will help as many people as I can. 

 

I am only trying to explain this to a brazilian Neurologist who might be able to help me get the word out there. But it's tough because he said he was on escitalopram himself for 10 years and never experienced problems switching to another drug. Says he is now on clomipramine.

 

Scary stuff. But thankfully I found you guys on time.

[Yesyes123]

Is it problematic to take escitalopram 15mg on slightly different times daily? Yesterday I took it 6am but am planning to try to get some sleep and take it at 7am. Is a 1 hour change too much of a big deal?

[manymoretodays]

Hi Yesyes,

Did you get a chance to look at the signature instructions:

  

On 1/15/2021 at 5:45 PM, manymoretodays said:

Would you also:  Please summarize your withdrawal history in your signature

and this is different from what you filled out initially.  You'll see other members signatures below their posts, and the signatures are really helpful to see, as then we can get an idea of your history at a glance, where ever you post.  Just click on the link ^, and you'll see what I'm asking for.

 

This can be so helpful, just to see where you are at, at a glance with your tapering and drugs.

 

You might run a interactions check here:  Drug Interactions- Drugs.com

and then copy and paste the results here in a reply, or link us to them.  Thank you.

 

On 1/18/2021 at 11:19 PM, Yesyes123 said:

Is it problematic to take escitalopram 15mg on slightly different times daily? Yesterday I took it 6am but am planning to try to get some sleep and take it at 7am. Is a 1 hour change too much of a big deal?

 

A one hour difference is okay.  And yes, you should keep it at the same time of day, each day, within an hour is perfect.  Try not to vary from that though.  It will help keep things consistent in your body, and stable blood levels of the Lexapro.

 

And okay, do check back and see if there were any other questions for you, from Alto especially, and attend to them, if you have not.  I got lost in the back and forth conversations, and it's late here now.  You've made some friends here though, how great!  We do have a PM system too, private message, you'll see the little envelope icon, at the top right, of your screen.  It might be a bit different on the phones.

 

Best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt