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Blanca: tapering Invega


Blanca

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I'm tappering off invega. I'm literally a zombie with no memories or personality. I wish I could be the same and recover my personality, sense of self, be in the present...

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Blanca: tapering Invega

I lost myself to psych drugs

 

I became another person, a different "self". A numb and detached self. I wasn't the person I used to be anymore. My identity and personality.

 

And it pains me so much...

How do you deal with that?

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic
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The trauma of losing yourself to drugs

 

I don't know how I'm gonna get over this trauma… … I was ok in presen (my second school). Finally. I wasn't being bullied anymore. I had friends. I still hadn't had any problems with my family. … I want to recover that level of well-being. Even if it seems impossible with all the changes in my life. … I used to be me. In the present. With my feelings. My personality. My relationships. I was always me. That naivety. That curiosity. My way of seeing and understanding the world. Being in the present. Without this  crushing anxiety. Without… being this. I want to be me again. I know I would have evolved and changed with time. The Blanca (me) from presen wouldn't have been the same Blanca from university even if I hadn't gotten bullied again. Because I would have evolved. Because I wasn't the same with 7 or 8 or 10 or 13 or 15 years. But I was me all the time. I remember in presen seeing a story of a woman that died and went to heaven. She was asked: who are you? And she started saying: I'm *name*'s wife. I'm *name*'s mother. I'm a lawyer… And she was told: "yes, but, who are you?" She could understand. I couldn't either. … I would have evolved with time. I wouldn't be presen's Blanca now. But, I would be me. With my experiences. With my daily life. With my relationships. With my memories. I would have just… lived. That's it. … I know I'll never fully recover.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic
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So does anybody think, maybe, my brain doesn't let me feel or be aware of what happened because it would be too much?

 

Should I keep tappering off my taking 1 pill every 2 days?

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  • Administrator

Welcome, @Blanca

 

Causing stupefaction is how Invega "works".

 

We need more information about what you're taking. What times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages?

 

How long have you been taking Invega or other psychiatric drugs?

 

Are you taking 1 pill every other day? How long have you been doing this?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I take the minimun dosage at night, 1 pill every 2 days. Ihave been taking invega for around 2-3 years now. Before that, I took olanzapine for another 2-3 years. I have also taken antidepressants like fluoxetine for around 5 years and anxiolytics like diazepan for another 5 years. I stopped taking fluoxetine around half a year ago. I've been tappering off invega since august. I tried stopping it before and almost did it cold turkey. I stopped it in january of this year and didn't take it for around 3 months; then, I started again.

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Moved from the Tips for Tapering Invega topic

 

I'm taking it once every 2 days but I see that's a bad idea. Should I switch to risperidone? I'm technically taking the minimun dose so my psychiatrist told me I could leave it cold turkey.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic info before moving to intro
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Moved from the Tips for Tapering Invega topic

 

My mother says risperidone is very dangerous. Should I switch to abilify?

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic info before moving to intro
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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

Please post questions about your situation here in your Introduction topic.  Posts made in other areas of the site might not get seen by the staff.  Thank you.

 

On 10/14/2021 at 7:19 AM, Altostrata said:

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

Alto requested that you create your drug signature.  We need to know your drug history before the staff can answer your questions.  Thank you.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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  • Administrator

Blanca, please put your drug information in your signature, so we can see it under each of your posts. Supply dates as close as you can recall. We also need the drug dosages.

 

Please answer:

On 10/13/2021 at 1:19 PM, Altostrata said:

What times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages?

 

How long have you been taking Invega or other psychiatric drugs?

 

Are you taking 1 pill every other day? How long have you been doing this?

 

For what symptoms are you taking Invega? Are you also taking risperidone?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I went to see my psychiatrist yesterday but she told me she didn't prepare my history as I told her... She is gonna give it to me the next session. Sorry, I can't recall my past or what I have taken. I can't put my history...

I'm currently only taking invega. I may also start taking diazepan since I can't sleep. I will post my history as soon as I can.

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  • Administrator

@Blanca we need to know the DOSAGES of your drugs. Does your pharmacist have your drug record?

 

When did you start Invega? Why are you taking it? When did the insomnia start?

 

Generally, you should NEVER SKIP DOSES of psychiatric drugs, that causes symptoms like insomnia and withdrawal symptoms.

 

This is a site for going off drugs. If you're under the care of a psychiatrist and you're adding drugs, that's between you and the doctor. Please let us know when you want to REDUCE your drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I'm taking 3mg of invega. I will stop skipping dosages now that I know that's a horrible method to withdraw. The insomnia started with the withdrawing. I was labeled as psychotic but I wasn't.  I was connected to my reality... just obsessed with the idea that I wasn't prepared for adulthood and that I needed to change. That led me to believe I had CPTSD because of the bullying I lived most of my life even if I didn't meet the criteria for it.

I started making my own theories about why I was the way I was, Freud's style, and my doctors thought I was delusional for that.

I want to reduce the drugs but I can't cut the pill or anything. And 3mg is the minimun dose here. I can't buy anything smaller than that. I talked to my doctor to switch to risperidone but my mother says that's a very dangerous drugs and that I should switch to abilify.

 

I will ask to a pharmacist but I don't believe they have any record...

 

I think I started invega about 2-3 years ago.

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  • Administrator

Skipping doses may be the core of your current problems. Suggest you take your dose at the same time each day for at least 2 months before attempting to taper.

 

See Tips for tapering off paliperidone (Invega)

 

If you would like to discuss tapering further, do this first: Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 8 months later...

Sorry, I wanna make this short but I may end up giving a full speech on this, so sorry in advance.

 

Long story short: I'm *****.

 

I started taking this pills when I was 17. I was okay... My brain wasn't an issue for me, really... the bullying was. But, I mean... I was chill. I was smart, empathetic, caring... I was super-afraid of violence. I was unable to hurt a fly...

 

So... I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just didn't understand my classmates. I was socially insecure because of that. Turn out, it was high-masking autism...

 

I went to the psych in order to "fix" my social blindness, lol... and I lost my mind.

 

I didn't know psychs were like this. I didn't know what a psych was... I didn't know they worked with labels... I was trying to run away from one (wallflower, marginalized...), I didn't want another one.

 

If I had known how dangerous this pills truly were... I would have never ever taken them in the first place.

 

I spent YEARS away from reality. I was literally in another reality... I couldn't feel anymore. I wasn't me at all...

 

It was a cocktail of APs, ADs and benzos...

 

My family became abusive... and, I mean, they had always have their issues but... the way they strated treating me with all of this is downright... something to call the police for... and I was numb.

 

I tappered off everything on january but I'm only starting to see how ***** up I am right now.

 

I have amnesia and aphantasia, along with other things I don't know how to name. I can't remember anything but I kinda know what has happened...

 

I'm so done... So many things have happened... and I was so gone...

 

I don't know if I can make this.

 

I... don't know what else to say. I have amnesia, aphantasia, my mind still goes round and round between "realities". Anxiety. Parkinson symptoms. Brain atrophy. Hypertermia. Vision problems. Cognitive-problems. REM sleep problems. Problems with emotions. And a lot of other ***** up stuff.

 

What dld I have before the pills? Fawning. Low self-esteem. Social blindness. Rejection sensitivity disphoria... I was completely harmless and conscious. I was a child!

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Don't know how to call this
  • Moderator Emeritus

Blanca, please create your drug signature following these instructions.  This will appear below every post you make:

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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I have no recolection of the exact doses, names and duration... or when did the symptoms appear... and I don't wanna be untruthful... Right now, I even have no memories at all... Sorry :( I may do it if I get the doctor's notes...

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  • Moderator
On 7/12/2022 at 11:39 AM, Blanca said:

Sorry, I wanna make this short but I may end up giving a full speech on this, so sorry in advance.

 

Long story short: I'm *****.

 

I started taking this pills when I was 17. I was okay... My brain wasn't an issue for me, really... the bullying was. But, I mean... I was chill. I was smart, empathetic, caring... I was super-afraid of violence. I was unable to hurt a fly...

 

So... I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just didn't understand my classmates. I was socially insecure because of that. Turn out, it was high-masking autism...

 

I went to the psych in order to "fix" my social blindness, lol... and I lost my mind.

 

I didn't know psychs were like this. I didn't know what a psych was... I didn't know they worked with labels... I was trying to run away from one (wallflower, marginalized...), I didn't want another one.

 

If I had known how dangerous this pills truly were... I would have never ever taken them in the first place.

 

I spent YEARS away from reality. I was literally in another reality... I couldn't feel anymore. I wasn't me at all...

 

It was a cocktail of APs, ADs and benzos...

 

My family became abusive... and, I mean, they had always have their issues but... the way they strated treating me with all of this is downright... something to call the police for... and I was numb.

 

I tappered off everything on january but I'm only starting to see how ***** up I am right now.

 

I have amnesia and aphantasia, along with other things I don't know how to name. I can't remember anything but I kinda know what has happened...

 

I'm so done... So many things have happened... and I was so gone...

 

I don't know if I can make this.

 

I... don't know what else to say. I have amnesia, aphantasia, my mind still goes round and round between "realities". Anxiety. Parkinson symptoms. Brain atrophy. Hypertermia. Vision problems. Cognitive-problems. REM sleep problems. Problems with emotions. And a lot of other ***** up stuff.

 

What dld I have before the pills? Fawning. Low self-esteem. Social blindness. Rejection sensitivity disphoria... I was completely harmless and conscious. I was a child!

Blanca, I moved your topic fun the symptoms forum to here. We like to keep your story in one place. You're welcome to post about specific symptoms on the other forums but things relating to you only should be in the intro topic. Pls fill in your drug signature as requested above so we can help you better.

 

OMW 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

If you would like to get a response from me directly please type @Onmyway some place in your message so I get notified of your post. I am not able to follow all of the threads all the time.

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, 

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

 

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