YachtRock: My Introduction and Journal

[getofflex]

18 hours ago, YachtRock said:

A little early to label this as a success story, but I am thankful for the improvements I continue to see and certainly for all the wisdom I have gleaned through this community

I'm so happy to hear of your improvements and recovery!  You are doing spectacularly!  Congrats on tapering off the nicotine.  I believe this will only help you in your quest for health and happiness.  I'm confident that you will taper off of the rest of your Trintellix successfully. 

[YachtRock]

5 hours ago, getofflex said:

I'm so happy to hear of your improvements and recovery!  You are doing spectacularly!  Congrats on tapering off the nicotine.  I believe this will only help you in your quest for health and happiness.  I'm confident that you will taper off of the rest of your Trintellix successfully. 

 

Thank you @getofflex! Wishing you the best as you finish your taper here shortly 👍

[YachtRock]

Wow five months goes by so quickly. It is about the one year anniversary of "suddenly **** is getting weird" so I guess I should post an update. In general I continue to be in decent shape, there have been very few physical symptoms persisting although lots of psychological struggles. I meet weekly with a psychiatrist and he has done a good job of keeping me focused on the improvements and wins, both big and small. I have had an active summer that felt like I was getting closer and closer to some type of "normal".

 

I can still feel the inner workings of my brain undergoing massive reconstruction. I have been dealing with an entirely new form of anxiety that doesn't cause adrenaline, rapid heartrate or panic. This started around the time that I tapered off of beta blockers oddly enough (almost like it made a permanent change in my adrenergic system). I frequently complain of issues in my head (pressure and musculofascial pain) and a new type of chest/heart issue that my doctor thinks are PVCs. But nobody can attribute these things to anything other than anxiety. I had some blood pressure spikes throughout last week that appear to also have been anxiety driven, which almost took me to the ER. Thankfully it was another small "wave" of sorts, and I have experienced only a few of these lately which last 3 or 4 days, accompanied by depressive thoughts and outsized worry. But the rapid onset of these few issues all at the same time had be VERY worried that some sort of cycle was starting up or repeating from last year, and I still find myself wanting a "brain scan" that will likely show nothing from all the stories I have read.

 

I continue tapering my reinstatement/microdose of Trintellix. I started a 0.5mg dose last December with a pill weight of 0.015g and am now taking roughly 0.006mg, and I am getting closer and closer to rounding errors. The Gemini scale seems to constantly lose calibration by as much as 10 milligrams so it will be increasingly difficult to weigh out 5 and less mg increments consistently. Will do my best.

 

And speaking of weighing, I have gained back about 2/3rds of the weight I lost last year, about half of which was due to total loss of appetite in early WD. So I can definitely say that appetite is no longer an issue, and if anything, being nicotine free the past 4 months may be contributing to an even worse diet or overeating. But that is my next challenge for the rest of this year.

 

I didn't exactly expect to be anxiety free after ceasing my regular dose of "anti-anxiety" medication. But it is incredibly frustrating to be dealing with anxiety that is 2-4x as bad as it was going on the medication 10 years ago.

 

 

 

 

[YachtRock]

Oh and another positive is that I have not had any Ativan for 7 months, although my doctor is suggesting I try it next time I have the facial pain and tension to see if it is related somehow.

[getofflex]

On 9/14/2022 at 6:17 PM, YachtRock said:

I continue tapering my reinstatement/microdose of Trintellix. I started a 0.5mg dose last December with a pill weight of 0.015g and am now taking roughly 0.006mg, and I am getting closer and closer to rounding errors. The Gemini scale seems to constantly lose calibration by as much as 10 milligrams so it will be increasingly difficult to weigh out 5 and less mg increments consistently. Will do my best.

Congratulations on getting so low on your Trintellix!  If it were me, I would try switching to the liquid, because you can get a very precise dose with the liquid, and it will be easier on your nervous system.  It's available in a commercial liquid, or you can make your own.  

 

Tapering and Dosing Trintellix

 

On 9/14/2022 at 6:17 PM, YachtRock said:

I didn't exactly expect to be anxiety free after ceasing my regular dose of "anti-anxiety" medication. But it is incredibly frustrating to be dealing with anxiety that is 2-4x as bad as it was going on the medication 10 years ago.

 

How is the anxiety now?  Here are some simple things that may help. 

 

Acknowledge Accept Float

 

Music to Calm Anxiety

 

Breathing Technique for Anxiety

 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

15 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Male voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Meditation