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☼ Brassmonkey: Talking about myself


brassmonkey

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Well the sleep patterns are starting to normalize.  That will help get the eating patterns back in balance. So everything is sorting itself out.  Finished the first pass at the pictures last night.  We've managed to cut things down to about 500 from the original 5500.  Going through them really is like taking the trip all over again, which we are planning to do.

 

We do, however, have a load of "real life" stuff to handle, such as getting the kitchen finished and unpacking the house.  Not to mention several other trips in the offing.  With all the rain we've been having here the wild flower season this spring should be amazing, so we're looking at Death Valley in May for a few days.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi Wantrelief-- Thanks for dropping by.  I posted this to DesertChild yesterday where I talk about poopout, stabilization and WDnormal.  I gives a bit of my background.   "You call it withdrawal nor

Hi Aberdeen-  yea, I just broke into the dreaded 7mg range.  The first day was rough, but so far the rest of the week has been pretty much WDnormal.  I think I was just too busy last weekend and it hu

Hello everyone. I go be the name Brassmonkey.  I have posted here a few times in the past, but most of you won't remember me.  I am one of the flock of refuges recently from PaxilProgress.  My paxil o

  • Moderator

I finally have some of the pictures I took ready to share.  The site doesn't like the file size for most of them so I will have to do a bit more work.  But here are two just to tease you.

post-1352-0-04261400-1485885924_thumb.jpg

post-1352-0-11247800-1485885941_thumb.jpg

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Okay, I think I have another one ready to post. I'm really hitting the file size limit here so I will probably have to only post a couple a day.

post-1352-0-49241000-1485887507_thumb.jpg

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Brilliant !

Cant see any bars in front of that baboon and it seems very 'close up'....scary.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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Ah! Nice pictures! You have been really close, it must have been so exciting!

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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The joys of telephoto lenses.  He was only about 20 feet away though.  We were able to get very close to a lot of the animals, but had to be very careful while doing so.  The entire time we were riding in trucks and not allowed to get out at any time so things were relatively safe.  There were a couple of times with big bull elephants where they came like 5 feet in front of the truck which was too close for safety so we had to reverse away from them.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Cool shots Brass! Glad you had an amazing time :) what camera were you shooting? Any wd come into play with all the circadian changes ?

Started Citalopram in 2005 (aged 15) for apparent "OCD" - 60mg 

July 2015 attempted 2 x 10% + cuts 4 weeks apart. WD symptoms intense at times. Need to slow down.

 

November 2016 - Resumed taper. 1.25 - 1.5% decrease weekly approx.

44.5mg November 2016. Jan 2017 42.5 mg. March 2017 40 mg. June 2017 37mg. September 2018 22mg. Nov 2018 Holding at 22mg to stabilise from moderate wave. January 2020 - Holding, mostly feeling fine, but still having some waves at times. 

 

February 2020 - Resumed taper , 1.5% reduction weekly/every two weeks. 

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Wow!  Just amazing!

zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks)
Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg,  1/15 10 mg, 3/15  9 mg,  5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg.  4/16  5 mg, 6/16   4.5 mg,  9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17  3.2 mg,  4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17  1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg,  1/18 0.79 mg

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Hey Nick--  Nothing that I could count as WD.  All the changes really caused havoc with the sleep cycles though.  It's taken just over a week but things seem to be pretty well back to normal.

 

Last summer I bought a Nikon P900 especially for this trip. I couldn't be more pleased with it. Technically it's a point and shoot because it has a fixed lens and a slightly smaller sensor (still it is 20 megapixels) but has all the capabilities of a DSLR.  The lens is the big selling point at 83X on the telephoto end.  To buy an equivalent lens for a DSLR would cost five or six times the entire price of my camera.  It has a few drawbacks, but for bang for the buck you can't beat it. It was pretty much designed with this type of photography in mind.  If I had used the entire telephoto capability on the Baboon with his mouth open I would have just gotten a couple of his back teeth.

 

For the most part we were able to get to with in 50 feet of many of the animals.  Our guide had been doing this sort of thing for about 30 years and really knew his stuff and never put us in danger.  One of the most amazing sights was to see the herds of Wildebeest grazing.  There were several times the herd would stretch from horizon to horizon and number in the thousands.  Just breath taking to see.  There were other times when the herds were smaller but would be a mix of Wildebeest, Zebra, several types of Antelope and some Elephants all at the same time. I'm getting chocked up just remembering it, it was so amazing.

 

We would go out on "Game Drives" twice a day.  The animals are most active during early morning and and evening.  So we would go out at 6:30 in the morning until lunch time.  Go back to the lodge to eat and rest for a few hours then back out on a drive from about 3 until after dusk.  It was all on very rough dirt roads in 4 wheel drive trucks, so there was a lot of bouncing and dust and a lot of great sightings.  We went into it expecting to have some fleeting glimpses of animals in the brush at best. But we were very pleased with the sheer number of animals we got to see. Not just the African Big Five ( lion, elephant, cape buffalo, leopard and rhino) but also zebra, giraffe, warthog, ostrich and over a dozen types of antelope, not to mention all the different birds.  Being the dry season, many of the animals had recently given birth so there were a number of lion cubs, zebra foals and little elephants all having a good time causing trouble.

 

Each night we would return to one on the three different lodges we stayed at to compare stories with the other groups we were with.  There were 18 of us all  together, divided among three trucks.  Then off to our netted beds to get some rest.  The insects weren't bad but all the beds had netting to keep them at bay.  The next day would bring new adventures.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Just finishing up a very busy weekend.  Saturday I ended up being an impromptu wedding coordinator for a ceremony that Monica was officiating. Things ended up going pretty smoothly and the bride and groom were pleased, which is all that counts.  Then yesterday we drove to Palm Springs CA. to attend a business seminar that was today.  We went yesterday so we could sight see a bit.  Took the Arial Tram ride 8000 feet up the local mountain side to get some magnificent views then went to the hotel.  The hotel was hosting a "Cheerleader" convention, which ended up being about 5000 screaming teenage girls.  Things finally quieted down just before midnight.  The hotel staff was in as much shock as we were.  Went to the seminar all day today and got a lot of good information.  Then had a wonderful drive home through some dark low stormy clouds.  Now for a day or two of peace and quiet.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi Brass! Great to see you are doing so well. Those pictures look like they're from Nat'l Geographic--really amazing.

 

I think someone just asked that baboon if he wanted to start SSRIs and maybe a benzo for sleep. He's howling with laughter, "Noooo wayyyyyy!!!" 

Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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I just posted this on another thread and want to keep a record of it here:

 

We are talking about two totally different forms of WD here. Narcotics and alcohol cause a chemical dependent physical addiction which the body has to clear out or "detox" and then learn to operate without the stimulus of the drug. With ADs/APs the situation is different.  The drug causes physical changes to the brain and nervous system, in fact every system in the body, in effect they "rewire" them to require the presence of the drug to function.  Without the AD/AP the brain is thrown into chaos because it can't function, so the drug must be removed a little at a time to allow the brain to "re-rewire" itself to function normally with out the drug.  It is a slow painful process because every system in the body has been compromised and has to be rebuilt while the body tries to maintain functionality. 

 

Through the painful experience of thousands of people we have been able to determine that, for most people, removing the drug at a rate of 10% of the previous dose every 4-6 weeks will allow them to eventually become drug free while suffering a minimum of  WD symptoms.  This is a general guideline from which each individual must find a variation, which is frequently slower, that works for them.  There will always be exceptions, but we have found that people who try to go faster than these recommendations will eventually have trouble, because the changes caused by each dose reduction have not been fully allowed to resolve themselves and accumulate in the background until one day they cause the entire system to destabilize and experience severe symptoms.  When this happens it is very difficult and very painful to regain stability and the system is sensitized and more likely to loose stability in the future.

 

It is a very daunting prospect to face spending years tapering off of a drug, but it is absolutely critical to take the time required.  When I started my taper five and a half years ago I didn't think it would take nearly this long.  My initial calculations showed it to be a bit over three years.  As I tapered I learned more about the process and discovered the the lower doses were the more sensitive ones and required even more diligence to navigate.  I will be ending my taper soon, and as I have mentioned it will have taken just over five and a half years.  I consider it time well spent.

 

The time has been painful, frustrating, frightening and a lot more. BUT, I have done so much better than friends who, for what ever reason, CTed the same dose of the same drug at the same time.  I am in the process of transitioning, almost symptom free back into life, while they are still suffering with symptoms of acute WD.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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You are an inspiration to many with your example!  Slow and steady wins the race.

zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks)
Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg,  1/15 10 mg, 3/15  9 mg,  5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg.  4/16  5 mg, 6/16   4.5 mg,  9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17  3.2 mg,  4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17  1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg,  1/18 0.79 mg

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Great post, Tom.  Congrats on how far you've come.

 

I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a little GREEN with envy!

 

Enjoy it all!

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Sounds like your trip was wonderful Brass, amazing pictures too. Not long now and you'll be finished with the taper!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Things have been relatively quiet for the past couple of weeks.  It's made for a good time to try and get some control of the house.  We're still in the middle of the remodel and have people coming this week to measure and install the counter tops, then we install the appliances and flooring, do a few small things and it's done. I was able to take a few days and work on cleaning up my studio, it really does have a floor and work surfaces.  I've also been able to start a couple of projects that have been in the works for years.  Had to cut that short because of the rain, but got a good start on them.  We've also been able to get to taking down the last of the Halloween stuff, should finish that this afternoon, the neighbors will be happy.

 

I guess it hasn't been all that quiet after all.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Administrator

Sounds like progress is being made. Lol! Glad you're finally getting the Halloween stuff down. From what you've written, you do a LOT for Halloween, so I'm sure that's a major project. 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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brassmonkey

Well the next big adventure is afoot.  We just booked a seven day cruise on the Nile river in Egypt for the end of this month.  Add in a couple of days for side trips and viewing the pyramids and we will be there for twelve days all together.  Very excited.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Wow, Tom! I am happy for you, enjoying life!

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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Wow, that sounds great, Tom. I'm happy for you. Don't forget to take a picture or two to post for those of us who are living vicariously.

 

Happy travels!  :)

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Brass! glad your life is in full swing mate :)   Im still tapering slowly and not having too many issues at all. I was wondering though, throughout your taper did you have fatigue much? What was your exercise regime and did it knock you for six?  Did you find over exertion ramped up symptoms at all?  Im just really interested to know how it all went for you - as your my number 1 inspiration in this journey.

Many thanks,

Nick

Started Citalopram in 2005 (aged 15) for apparent "OCD" - 60mg 

July 2015 attempted 2 x 10% + cuts 4 weeks apart. WD symptoms intense at times. Need to slow down.

 

November 2016 - Resumed taper. 1.25 - 1.5% decrease weekly approx.

44.5mg November 2016. Jan 2017 42.5 mg. March 2017 40 mg. June 2017 37mg. September 2018 22mg. Nov 2018 Holding at 22mg to stabilise from moderate wave. January 2020 - Holding, mostly feeling fine, but still having some waves at times. 

 

February 2020 - Resumed taper , 1.5% reduction weekly/every two weeks. 

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brassmonkey

" Im just really interested to know how it all went for you - as your my number 1 inspiration in this journey."

 

Oh the pressure, the pressure. LOL :lol:  Thanks Nick, I'm really glad that I can be of help and that things are going smoothly for you ATM.

 

I did not follow an exercise plan.  The work I did at the time involved walking 3-5 miles a day and frequently very repetitious moderate to heavy lifting, clamping things in place with one hand while working on them with the other and the like.  All in all I got a pretty good workout every day.  But it didn't stop with work, there was all the upkeep on the house and yard and then the setup and take down of the haunted house, during which I would frequently run the younger guys into the ground. But it did take  it's toll and if I pushed too hard I would pay for it for several days.  More in the burnout, fatigue department than with increased WD symptoms. Sometimes it would also cause my underlying anger issues to ramp up.  Once I figured out my pacing things went pretty well.  I would however, always end up pushing myself to keep going.

 

I'm coming up on the one year mark of my retirement in a month or so and only since the end of January have I noticed that my muscles are starting to unknot and relax to the point that I should be able to start exercising again.  I still get the workout of the house/yard upkeep and the haunted house, but I can do those at my own speed and schedule so they aren't a problem.  I have been very lax on my yoga for the last year and need to get that going again.  I'm also planning to add back in swimming, which I love and haven't done for years. I'm planning on getting a dive certificate in the near future so Monica and I can head out your way in the next year or so to look at the pretty fishies.

 

Fatigue was and still is a big problem.  By pushing my self I learned that the fatigue was more of an emotional response than a physical one and if treated like a neuroemotion it was possible to keep going long after the fatigue said to stop with no adverse effects.  Like a neuroemotion though it can wear you down and I had to plan days off to recover and rest.

 

The other big problem was the body aches and pains.  They can be a big part of tapering for some people and frequently get misdiagnosed as fibromialgia (sp.) Combine that with the over exercise caused by work and things were quite painful at times.  Especially early in my taper. Over time those have diminished and are no longer a problem just leaving the results of years of physically abusing my body to contend with.

 

Hope that sheds a little light.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thank you Brass, that pretty well sums it all up ! I too tend to push myself too far.. hell ive just surfed for 11 days straight, as well as work most days and im wondering why I feel a bit off. I think for me I blame the most recent drop for feeling craap whereas its more likely to be from pushing myself too hard.

Sooo great to hear your planning on heading over here. Doing you PADI is such a cool experience and we have MANY epic coastal dives, especially shipwrecks! Swimming is the best cross training for dive fitness and I reckon yoga could be most beneficial aswell. Congrats on the one year retirement. . I am yet to start my" career" hahaha

Started Citalopram in 2005 (aged 15) for apparent "OCD" - 60mg 

July 2015 attempted 2 x 10% + cuts 4 weeks apart. WD symptoms intense at times. Need to slow down.

 

November 2016 - Resumed taper. 1.25 - 1.5% decrease weekly approx.

44.5mg November 2016. Jan 2017 42.5 mg. March 2017 40 mg. June 2017 37mg. September 2018 22mg. Nov 2018 Holding at 22mg to stabilise from moderate wave. January 2020 - Holding, mostly feeling fine, but still having some waves at times. 

 

February 2020 - Resumed taper , 1.5% reduction weekly/every two weeks. 

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brassmonkey

Got hit by a wave yesterday.  I should have seen it coming, all the signs were there, increased twitching in the eyes, hands and legs, general tension and increased irritability. I'm a bit upset I didn't see it coming because of the outbreak it caused. But I'm very glad I didn't see it because that means I'm not micro-focusing on symptoms and moving on with my life.

 

We have a ton of stuff going on right now.  Plans for the new trip are going well.  I don't want to loose track of it, as it's only a few weeks away.  Got the new counter tops installed and they look fabulous. Decided that the new floor we picked out is all wrong, so have to start over from square one on that.  Spring yard work is starting.  I have several haunted house projects going, and Monica's starting to work on rebooting her acting career.

 

All the rain this winter means that the spring wildflower season should be amazing this year so we are planning a road trip to the desert in the next couple of weeks for that.  Need to let the current storms work themselves out first.

 

So my general feeling is "wave, what wave, I don't feel no stinking wave" AAF  LOL

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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nicolantana

Hey brassmonkey,

 

Thanks for replying to me on other thread. said I'd nip over for a look at your story...

 

However, your thread is huge!! Have you experienced anhedonia and come through it?

 

How are you feeling in general?

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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  • Moderator
brassmonkey

Hi Nicloa--  Just to "brag???" this thread ain't the half of it. I spent the first three years of my taper on the now non-existent PaxilProgress where my thread logged in at 85 pages. It took me three hours to copy and past it the day PP closed down.  I really wish there was some way to repost it here so people could get the whole story, but I haven't found a way yet.  Other people have admitted to reading the entire one here, so it can be done.

 

My original thread on PP was tilted "Letters from the Island of Anhedonia".  It's the first real symptom I identified when I was slipping into "poopout" many years before I started to taper off of the paxil.  I can still remember the exact moment I realized it.  Through out the years of poopout it grew much more pronounced and was a major symptom through the first three years of my taper. I was several months into year four before I really noticed that it was lessening, and not until year five that it was no longer a problem. Now that I'm at five an a half years it is still present, but at a very low level and intermittent in nature. The big challenge now is learning to cope with my emotions as they "come on line" after being drugged for so many years.

 

In general I'm feeling better that I have in decades.  I won't be drug free for a few more months and will then have to spend a while in recovery, but I know I will get better still. 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi Brassmonkey,

 

I just would like to congratulate you on your success at tapering, I hope one day I can follow your footsteps.

Can i ask you what method you used for tapering, did you use a scales or get your medication compounded. I want to start my tapper again and am going to do your famous "brassmonkey slide"

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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brassmonkey

Hi Cheeky-- Thank you, it's not over yet, but very close. A lot of people have been finding the Brassmonkey Slide a very effective method to taper. I have been using the Gemini-20 scales the entire time. With changing the dose amount so often it would be rather tricky and probably expensive to have the pills compounded and I really doubt that you'll be able to find a doctor who will write all the needed prescriptions . By using the scales you're much more in control of the dose and the length of time that you stay at each level.  Making up the doses is really no trouble, a couple of minutes each morning or about fifteen minutes once a week.

 

I see that you're starting out from 40mg like I did.  It's going to be a long ride, but so worth it.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Yeah Thankyou for that I will be happy to be off by the time I'm 50, I've got 10 year till that happens. Keep going strong your an inspiration

1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg until 2014

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg Seraquel

-2015 tried tapering again and crashed

Seroquel Taper

2/11/16 43mg  1/09/17  37.5mg  10/03/10 36.25mg. 17/3/19 35mg 26/3/19 33.75mg  4/4/19 32.5mg  21/4/19 30mg

16/7/19 28.75mg  5/8/19 27.5mg. 19/8/19 25mg   4/8/20 23mg 18/8/20 22.5mg  12/10/20 18.25mg  10/1/21 15mg  3/8/21 UPDOSE 16mg

Paxil Taper

2/11/16 40mg 12/10/17 37mg  28/10/17 36mg  10/1/18. 35mg  24/05/18 33mg  28/8/18 31mg 16/12/18 30mg 20/10/19 29mg  17/11/19 28mg 7/1/20  27mg 12/2/20  26mg 7/3 /20 25mg  11/4/20 24mg 4/5/20 23mg  5/6/20 22mg 23/6/20 21mg 15/7/20 20mg

Untitled.rtf

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manymoretodays

You're going to Egypt to see the desert blooms???  :)   Yes, the extra water from the sky and snow has been great this year........except for the mudslides and floods now that have hit a few areas......

 

I like what you said about the fatigue...."Fatigue was and still is a big problem.  By pushing my self I learned that the fatigue was more of an emotional response than a physical one and if treated like a neuroemotion it was possible to keep going long after the fatigue said to stop with no adverse effects.  Like a neuroemotion though it can wear you down and I had to plan days off to recover and rest."

 

I loved seeing your animal photos.

 

Best,

 

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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nicolantana

Thank you for getting back to me brassmonkey. 

 

in severe anhedonia most of the time. so always good to hear of people experiencing it and coming through..

 

can you remember periods where you felt absolutely nothing and then had a window? was it subtle or like a flash of lightning??

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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brassmonkey

Hi MMT-- thanks for dropping in. We're going to Egypt for the pyramids, seeing some desert blooms would be a great plus.  For the flowers we're basiclly going out the back door. It's a short drive to the south east of us to get to the Anza-Borrego desert.  Then we'll just cruse the back roads and enjoy.

 

Hi Nicola-- for me the windows just happened. I would just realize that I was feeling good for a while and then they would fade.  My first one lasted about fifteen minutes and I didn't even realize that it had happened until several hours later.  A few weeks later I had another.  After that they happened more frequently and lasted longer. But each time it was a quiet realization that I was feeling "right" at the time.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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nicolantana

wonderful. And now you feel 'right' most of the time??

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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brassmonkey

I'm still sorting things out.  Learning to live with emotions after so many years of having them drugged away is a bit of a challenge. But I'm feeling pretty right most of the time.  There are the normal ups and downs during the day, some brain fog still and short term memory problems.  Once I'm completely off the drugs they should sort them selves out, but for now I can deal.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Glad you are doing better!

Lexparo 10mg user for 2.5 years. Last dose was 2/27/2008 after a fast 1 month taper. Recovered around 2011. Had issues with depression, anxiety, akathasia, inner restlessness, vertigo, insomnia, loss of appetite, eye floaters just to name a few. Basically rode it out, employing the Dr. Claire Weekes method.

 

Took Cipro in July of 2014 and have been having set backs with nausea, vertigo, anxiety (racing thoughts), and depression the last half of 2014.

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