Cheeky: on Paxil for 23 years needing advice

[Colonial]

Yes, what did me in was a lot of dose changing too often without enough time to let my brain settle.

Over time it became obvious that it's not just about what I was dropping but how often I was attempting to drop, sometimes only waiting 2 or 3 weeks.  For Me that just didn't work. I did best when I made reasonable reductions every 2 months or so like this:

 

  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs

 

Doing that I was ok, where I got in trouble was when I then tried to speed it up to dropping each month like this:

 

, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 

 

Granted, I took about 16 months to drop 50% the first time and dropped 2/3rds in only 10 months the second and as I got lower they were larger % drops but other times I noticed dropping too often just didn't settle well with Me with the Welbutrin either.

 

I was able to make larger drops as long as I was taking longer breaks in between.

 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Colonial

[Cheeky]

45 minutes ago, Colonial said:

Yes, what did me in was a lot of dose changing too often without enough time to let my brain settle.

Over time it became obvious that it's not just about what I was dropping but how often I was attempting to drop, sometimes only waiting 2 or 3 weeks.  For Me that just didn't work. I did best when I made reasonable reductions every 2 months or so like this:

 

  8/4/16 6.8mgs,  11/1/16 6.4mgs, 2/5/17 6 mgs  4/3/17 5.6mgs, 4/24/17 5.2mg, 6/13/17 4.8mgs, 9/20/17 4.4mgS, 11/23/17 4 mgs, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs

 

Doing that I was ok, where I got in trouble was when I then tried to speed it up to dropping each month like this:

 

, 1/1/18 3.6 mgs, 2/15/18 3.2 mgs. 4/13/18 2.8mgs, 5/11/18 2.4mgs, 6/10/18 2.0 mgs, 8/4/18 1.6mgs,  9/27/18 1.2mgs, 

 

Granted, I took about 16 months to drop 50% the first time and dropped 2/3rds in only 10 months the second and as I got lower they were larger % drops but other times I noticed dropping too often just didn't settle well with Me with the Welbutrin either.

 

I was able to make larger drops as long as I was taking longer breaks in between.

 

Thanks , I suppose this is all trial and error.  I’m just waiting to stabilise for awhile and start to taper again eventually.

[Carmie]

Hi Cheeky, 

 

Thanks for visiting my thread. I answered you on there as to what I’m doing with my taper at the moment in detail. I’ve been dropping at under 5% every three months or so. I’m using 25ml of water with a 25mg tablet at the moment, but I’ll be having to add more water later on. 

 

I find I need to hold for long periods of time, otherwise the following taper hits me like a ton of bricks. I can’t stop the waves though, I get waves no matter how slow I taper, or how long I hold. 
 

Sending hugs🤗
 

 

[Cheeky]

Just now, Carmie said:

Hi Cheeky, 

 

Thanks for visiting my thread. I answered you on there as to what I’m doing with my taper at the moment in detail. I’ve been dropping at under 5% every three months or so. I’m using 25ml of water with a 25mg tablet at the moment, but I’ll be having to add more water later on. 

 

I find I need to hold for long periods of time, otherwise the following taper hits me like a ton of bricks. I can’t stop the waves though, I get waves no matter how slow I taper, or how long I hold. 
 

Sending hugs🤗
 

 

Hi Carnie, 

yeah I dropped by way too much in January from 18.25 mg to 15 mg and haven’t felt it to now , 4 weeks of good days and bad days . I just want to stabilise. I was having a pretty good week 85% back to normal and then now this today , I feel I’ve gone backwards. I know I’m dye fur my periods in a few days so I’m guessing it’s brought it on. I feel so disheartened 

[Carmie]

11 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Hi Carnie, 

yeah I dropped by way too much in January from 18.25 mg to 15 mg and haven’t felt it to now , 4 weeks of good days and bad days . I just want to stabilise. I was having a pretty good week 85% back to normal and then now this today , I feel I’ve gone backwards. I know I’m dye fur my periods in a few days so I’m guessing it’s brought it on. I feel so disheartened 

What percentage was that drop Cheeky? I’ve learnt the hard way in the past too that dropping too quickly catches up with you, and the other thing is that you really have to hold for long periods of time. Better to hold a bit longer, than too soon. 
 

With every taper, no matter how bad the waves are, I always end up stabilising. It can feel like you never will, but I always did. 
 

I think it’s important to just to keep distracting yourself with different things, hobbies, movies, music, nature etc etc. 

 

Hope you stabilise soon🧡

[Cheeky]

19 minutes ago, Carmie said:

What percentage was that drop Cheeky? I’ve learnt the hard way in the past too that dropping too quickly catches up with you, and the other thing is that you really have to hold for long periods of time. Better to hold a bit longer, than too soon. 
 

With every taper, no matter how bad the waves are, I always end up stabilising. It can feel like you never will, but I always did. 
 

I think it’s important to just to keep distracting yourself with different things, hobbies, movies, music, nature etc etc. 

 

Hope you stabilise soon🧡

I went from 18.25mg to 15mg was a 18% drop I haven’t been going by percentage, I have been putting my 25mg into 20ml water and taking out 1ml at a time and I suppose the smaller you go the bigger the drop. I should of realised when I did it because I felt not the best since then but not as bad as the last 4 weeks. Everyday has been different, last week was great. I don’t want to give in an increase but this is so difficult 

[Carmie]

47 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

I went from 18.25mg to 15mg was a 18% drop I haven’t been going by percentage, I have been putting my 25mg into 20ml water and taking out 1ml at a time and I suppose the smaller you go the bigger the drop. I should of realised when I did it because I felt not the best since then but not as bad as the last 4 weeks. Everyday has been different, last week was great. I don’t want to give in an increase but this is so difficult 

I did that too in the past before I learnt about tapering Cheeky, I’m sure I did way too many drops that were too high. By some miracle though I managed to get all the way down from 300mg to 7.5mg before I really learnt how to taper properly. 
 

No matter how severe the waves were they always ended. It’s just a matter of when. 
 

Once though I tapered way too fast and that brought on bad akathisia. It was really severe for about a week and then I decided to just go back to the last dose I was on and I stabilised. I didn’t know anything about reinstatement, I just thought I wonder if this will work and it did. Maybe I didn’t have to go all the way back to that dose, but it worked for me. 

 

I guess because it was only a week since I tapered last it worked. We are all different though, and what works for one person doesn’t always work another. This journey I’m afraid is all trial and error. 
 

All I know is that one has to taper slowly and do long holds. 
 

Take care🧡

 

 

[Cheeky]

21 minutes ago, Carmie said:

I did that too in the past before I learnt about tapering Cheeky, I’m sure I did way too many drops that were too high. By some miracle though I managed to get all the way down from 300mg to 7.5mg before I really learnt how to taper properly. 
 

No matter how severe the waves were they always ended. It’s just a matter of when. 
 

Once though I tapered way too fast and that brought on bad akathisia. It was really severe for about a week and then I decided to just go back to the last dose I was on and I stabilised. I didn’t know anything about reinstatement, I just thought I wonder if this will work and it did. Maybe I didn’t have to go all the way back to that dose, but it worked for me. 

 

I guess because it was only a week since I tapered last it worked. We are all different though, and what works for one person doesn’t always work another. This journey I’m afraid is all trial and error. 
 

All I know is that one has to taper slowly and do long holds. 
 

Take care🧡

 

 

Thankyou 🌈

[Cheeky]

I feel I’ve gone backwards today and now I’m thinking there could be something wrong with me. It’s been since January I dropped too much and I know I’ve trashed myself  with Alcohol and  a few times cocaine and I feel so stupid for that. I know the last drop was too much as I was feeling kind of manic 6 weeks after that and I’ve noticed a decline 6 weeks ago. I though I had menapuse and I don’t and it’s really hit me the last four weeks and I had had good days and not so good days , I feel I’m overall feeling better then a day like this just kicks me up the bum and I’m starting to get worried now. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions @Colonial@brassmonkey@Rusty1@Altostrata @Gridley

[Colonial]

Having a bad days or days is always worrisome since you never know how long it will last.

But it's not an indication anything is "wrong" per se, its the nature of recovery.

 

The alcohol, cocaine, caffeine and over the counter items can delay healing or provoke a wave so it's best to try to avoid anything in that category.

 

If your getting close to Menapause that can complicate issues as your hormones begin to change a few years before that occurs, so Your body may e adjusting to a host of issues

[Cheeky]

Just now, Colonial said:

Having a bad days or days is always worrisome since you never know how long it will last.

But it's not an indication anything is "wrong" per se, its the nature of recovery.

 

The alcohol, cocaine, caffeine and over the counter items can delay healing or provoke a wave so it's best to try to avoid anything in that category.

 

If your getting close to Menapause that can complicate issues as your hormones begin to change a few years before that occurs, so Your body may e adjusting to a host of issues

I'm only 44 years old so its not menopause, I was just hoping it was. Its just so hard when Im in a waves like this, it makes me feel I will never get better and I'm so far away from finishing my taper. my taper so far has been easy since my last drop then BAM I just want to get of these drugs sooooo much. I've never had headaches in my life , today , there so strong dizzy spells, my head feels like it has so much tension. I'M sorry for asking for advice, i just feel so scared today.

[Colonial]

9 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

I've never had headaches in my life , today , there so strong dizzy spells, my head feels like it has so much tension.

 

I've had this constantly for 6 weeks now and so have alot of other non WD People.

 

Apparently there's some atmospheric pressure issues causing migraines for a lot of people.

It's hard to know what's wd and what is something else.

 

[Cheeky]

4 minutes ago, Colonial said:

 

I've had this constantly for 6 weeks now and so have alot of other non WD People.

 

Apparently there's some atmospheric pressure issues causing migraines for a lot of people.

It's hard to know what's wd and what is something else.

 

Thanks for helping me with your advice I really appreciate it. 

[brassmonkey]

There are going to be ups and downs along the way, it's all part of the game. You said in general you are feeling a bit better, that is what is important. You've been through other waves and they all ended, this one will too.

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  Hey girl, what's going on?  I am sorry you are struggling right now.  It can be so frustrating up one day, down the next.  Hopefully you can find  encouragement that you have had some breaks(windows), maybe not as good or long as we like.  You doing such a awesome job getting through the tough days.  I have confidence that you will pass through this one too. Remember  your mind and thoughts are messing with you again.  There is away out and that is going straight ahead.  

 

Are you back to work?

What is your mantra for the day?

 

Reach out, we always here for you♥️

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  Hey girl, what's going on?  I am sorry you are struggling right now.  It can be so frustrating up one day, down the next.  Hopefully you can find  encouragement that you have had some breaks(windows), maybe not as good or long as we like.  You doing such a awesome job getting through the tough days.  I have confidence that you will pass through this one too. Remember  your mind and thoughts are messing with you again.  There is away out and that is going straight ahead.  

 

Are you back to work?

What is your mantra for the day?

 

Reach out, we always here for you♥️

Yeah yesterday was really bad, I went to work to see what my hair salon was looking like after we did renovations , I haven’t been since lockdown 4 weeks the same amount of time  I’ve been suffering with withdrawals and when I got there a massive Aniexty hit me and I could think straight and it all come so overwhelming to me. Last time I was in the salon I was my happy confident person, this time a shell of myself and it got me so upset.  At night I felt better and did a clients hair. I’ve just never had withdrawal going on so long now and I’m starting to think is this my new normal.

[Cheeky]

4 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

There are going to be ups and downs along the way, it's all part of the game. You said in general you are feeling a bit better, that is what is important. You've been through other waves and they all ended, this one will too.

Thanks for replying back, much appreciated. I understand having ups and downs and I’ve had this before but only mildly. Since my last drop in January I felt a bit manic having extra energy and a little bit hypo for a few months and it then I should’ve know that I dropped too much. It was the feeling I got when the first time I stopped taking Paxil for 3 months I was invisible then the crash happened. 
What my concern is, are these drugs having an adverse reaction or am I just overthinking everything because I’m feel bad for so  long (4 weeks) . 
Has anybody else have similar experiences.  Should I just wait this out ?

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  Let me tell you, it better not be the new normal because that would mean where I am at is my new normal.  No way girl we can not accept that.  We haven't gone through and lasted this long to throw in the towel now💪

 

I am glad that you were able to pull yourself in and do your clients hair.  See how strong you are, you could have choose to walk out and go home.  

I do know how overwhelming this all is.  We just want a life back, any life somedays.  Stop and look deep inside, what do you see? You see Cheeky, not the W/D Cheeky but you, and that is who is waiting patiently to bloom🌻  You will get there😊

[Cheeky]

30 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  Let me tell you, it better not be the new normal because that would mean where I am at is my new normal.  No way girl we can not accept that.  We haven't gone through and lasted this long to throw in the towel now💪

 

I am glad that you were able to pull yourself in and do your clients hair.  See how strong you are, you could have choose to walk out and go home.  

I do know how overwhelming this all is.  We just want a life back, any life somedays.  Stop and look deep inside, what do you see? You see Cheeky, not the W/D Cheeky but you, and that is who is waiting patiently to bloom🌻  You will get there😊

Awwww I really wish I could give you a hug and say thankyou.

[Greatful]

@Cheeky ♥️🤗

[Cheeky]

Okay update. 
Yeesterday was terrible and I thought the worst. The us morning I wake with the dread morning aniexty and then 11am today I feel 90% normal and it feels like I  do t want the day to end. This is what’s really hard as I don’t want tomorrow to come because I’m scared to think what it will be like. I know you mods say windows and waves but is this  what happens and because I’m getting these good days is it a good sign @Colonial @Rhiannon  @brassmonkey

[Cheeky]

K

[Cheeky]

Okay update…,…

Today woke with the dread of the morning and worried if my day was going to be like the last day , went for a walk and was feeling good . 11am everything cleared up, I did my fathers hair toke my son to the park and went home and got into some cooking 90% feeling normal , I didn’t want the day to end. I know there are waves and windows but this just is so extreme, from one day to a next . If I’m having good days like this does that mean I’m getting better @Colonial @brassmonkey

[Cheeky]

Also

I have an iPhone and I constantly post my updates on other people threads. 🙃How do I post on my own thread ?

[brassmonkey]

That's an excellent sign of healing. Mark it on the calendar so you will remember.

[Colonial]

That's good news.

 

All in all, waves come and go sometimes for what seems like too extended of a period of time but it can be a sign of healing.  Our bodies are symptomatic because it's busy getting better.

 

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  I sure is nice to get a" wow" I had forgotten what normal feels like. My normal is still there.

 

You do know that this shows you that you are still there just under the surface.  Please poke your beautiful head out for a loonngg time............  You almost feel like okay I guess I got this........

 

You got this♥️

 

 

 

[Rusty1]

Congratulations! 

I would take every moment you feel good as a sign of healing. That is a sign that the person who you want to feel like is still there. The hard part is the patience for that person to be there full time. It will happen!

[Cheeky]

3 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  I sure is nice to get a" wow" I had forgotten what normal feels like. My normal is still there.

 

You do know that this shows you that you are still there just under the surface.  Please poke your beautiful head out for a loonngg time............  You almost feel like okay I guess I got this........

 

You got this♥️

 

 

 

@Greatfulyeah it was great but cruel at the same time, I think that I will wake up feeling good and then aniexty again this morning. I hope my day clears up.

[Cheeky]

45 minutes ago, Rusty1 said:

Congratulations! 

I would take every moment you feel good as a sign of healing. That is a sign that the person who you want to feel like is still there. The hard part is the patience for that person to be there full time. It will happen!

Yeah I know I’m  still there as when I feel back to normal everything changes. 

[Cheeky]

3 hours ago, Colonial said:

That's good news.

 

All in all, waves come and go sometimes for what seems like too extended of a period of time but it can be a sign of healing.  Our bodies are symptomatic because it's busy getting better.

 

Because this drop was so hard, would it be wise to hold on the taper to next year to give my CNS a break. Did you ever have bad times in your taper and did they resolve with time.

[Colonial]

 

At times its hard to know why a certain drop was so problematic.

Sometimes the drop doesn't seem to justify the reaction we've had to it and we have to assume there is something else going on with the timing. Maybe an infection, etc.

Also, some meds do different things as different levels, so You may have some set of symptoms higher up in your taper and they may change the further down You go.

Eventually all the waves seem to even out.  Knowing how long to wait after feeling better to drop again is trial and error.  Some times I waited 9 months. There's no hard or fast rules of knowing how long one SHOULD wait since, as stated, other factors can affect our taper. 

Being in an almost chronic state of fear-anxiety due to Covid can be making things worse for others, or other life events, weddings, funerals, moving, divorce.

It's not just an issue of time, its of life events and your outlook on the near future.

 

[Cheeky]

6 minutes ago, Colonial said:

Also, some meds do different things as different levels, so You may have some set of symptoms higher up in your taper and they may change the further down

I find that to be with my Paxil, the first drops where harder and getting towards 20mg was easier.

[Colonial]

28 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

I find that to be with my Paxil, the first drops where harder and getting towards 20mg was easier.

 

Ah,, Yes... but.. looking at your pdf file:

 

Your first Paxil drops before you hit 30mgs were also being done at the same time as Seroquel drops.

Your drops from 30-20 you weren't dropping Seroquel.

 

So that makes sense why your first drops were harder, you had another physical  "life event" going on at the same time that made the Paxil drops seem harder than the second group.

[Cheeky]

40 minutes ago, Colonial said:

 

Ah,, Yes... but.. looking at your pdf file:

 

Your first Paxil drops before you hit 30mgs were also being done at the same time as Seroquel drops.

Your drops from 30-20 you weren't dropping Seroquel.

 

So that makes sense why your first drops were harder, you had another physical  "life event" going on at the same time that made the Paxil drops seem harder than the second group.

That’s right, I just haven’t taper correctly by a  % and just doing my own thing. Now I need to keep at a consistent drop. 

[Colonial]

One of the reasons we only recommend dropping one med at a time is some meds "boost" others.

So to drop one means your also dropping the other.

 

That was the case with my Wellbutrin boosting my Paxil so when I took the Wellbutrin, it "upped" my Paxil dose to an unknown amount higher than the 25mgs I thought I was taking. 

 

So when I dropped both at the same time, I was actually making a larger  percentage drop of my Paxil than I realized. I don't know much about Seroquel so when ever your ready to drop again you might want to do some research on if they affect each other and which may be more beneficial to begin with.