Christian: Reinstatement Question

[Christian]

Catnapt,

I'll check out your suggestions. The books I mentioned are more history books on the folks I mentioned. They had conspiracies surrounding their "endings of their lives".

[Happy2Heal]

You mean the killing books? Oh they aren't about death. It's about their impactful lives and the conspiracy surrounding their deaths. I can't read or watch any violence. Even action. I was watching one of the mission impossible's with my sons. Tom cruise was on a sky scraper going from one window to the next. From the outside. OMG that was tough.

oh good! whew!!

I can't watch any violence either, the other night "War of the Worlds' was on tv and I had to shut it off. I told a friend I can't watch horror movies,

she said it wasn't horror, it was science fiction

 

doesn't matter to me, it was too much of ppl being afraid for their lives. *shudder*

 

I think I'll look into the Killing Reagan book,  there may be some overlap with The Gift of Fear because he talks about Hinkley and also Chapman and others. Talks about the things that each of them did and how the ones who came later studied the assassins/attempted assassins,  before them

 

I don't know a whole lot about Reagan either so that could be interesting.

 

amazingly (at least to me, now LOL ) I used to read about serial killers but I don't do that any more LOL this was while I was feeling all dead inside while on the meds, so the horror and the frightening things I read about, did not affect me at all.

seems strange to me now. but I had no feelings at all. Now my emotions are coming back. This is healing, I do believe ;-) yay!!!

 

however,  I've never been able to watch tv shows or movies with violence in them. *shudder*  I think the music and the screaming and all that make it so much worse than reading a book. I would read in great detail about things that say, Ted Bundy did, but watch a movie about him, Noooooo!! no  no no!

[Christian]

That's funny. I don't even watch shows that have sex. I think it's in "fear" my GF (whom lives with me) is going to catch me. Prior to WD, I could care less.

 

So I'm left with The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie reruns.

[Christian]

Christian.

 

I can't help you with the drug suggestion as I was always too terrified to take sleep meds but I know how insomnia feels, I have had it bad for 3 years since I came off Prozac. The trick is to stop being scared and I know it is easier said than done but obsessing about sleep is compoundeding the issue. cymbalta is spot on saying to relax and rest in bed even if you are not asleep, your body is a amazing thing and will take the rest it needs, you will not feel good but you will not die from lack of sleep, trust tour body. I was sleeping 2 hrs a night for a long long time but now I can get 4 sometimes 5, I'm now trying to work on the quality as it is very poor but after 3 years I'm still here. I always found it easier to have my eyes open when I could not sleep as closed would bring on cortisol surges. I also always found being propped up in bed was better for sleep, it may sound silly but I felt my brain was desperately trying to protect my body from a perceived threat and half sitting up was not as a venerable position as laying down.

 

I know you are chronically fatigued, I have that too. It is the stress more than the lack of sleep I believe causes it. Can you do any form of exercise ? Just a ten minute walk can help.

 

Try not to panic and try to limit the searching for answers to your problem. The Internet has its uses and can provide support but you won't find exactly what you looking for online.

[Christian]

Luna,

Do you keep yours eyes open when you can't sleep until you fall back asleep?

 

Yes I do a 30 minute walk with my dog everyday and also do my yard work. This is all very difficult but I manage. I used to (like many of us) work out every day. Some days I can't move however. And the mental fatigue is even worse.

[Happy2Heal]

Luna,

Do you keep yours eyes open when you can't sleep until you fall back asleep?

 

Yes I do a 30 minute walk with my dog everyday and also do my yard work. This is all very difficult but I manage. I used to (like many of us) work out every day. Some days I can't move however. And the mental fatigue is even worse.

that is great!! I am trying to work up to 30 mins, I"m only at 15 mins and that's only maybe 2 times a week

I did 20 mins walking today and needed to sleep for 2 hrs afterward

 

I wonder what we can do for the mental fatigue and fogginess...? I wouldn't care except when I have to talk to someone and I can get my point across cuz my thinking is all fuzzy

 

that's very frustrating. I feel like telling ppl, sorry I cant make sense right now, come back and ask me in 6 mos or so ok??

[Christian]

Ill trade you my ability to walk daily for your ability to sleep? If I didn't have WD insomnia I would feel much better about my recovery chances. I hate taking Remeron as well. I was just thinking about my cog fog. Three days ago I wasn't able to read, watch tv. I've done both quite well today. This WD is so unpredictable.

[Happy2Heal]

Ill trade you my ability to walk daily for your ability to sleep? If I didn't have WD insomnia I would feel much better about my recovery chances. I hate taking Remeron as well. I was just thinking about my cog fog. Three days ago I wasn't able to read, watch tv. I've done both quite well today. This WD is so unpredictable.

yeh it's an awful and wild ride.

no thanks on the trade, LOL I have long ago learned that I'm better off with my own troubles instead of someone else's.

I hope you are able to get the sleep you crave.

[Christian]

Hi,

I'm not sure it's OK to start a topic on this subject so feel free to remove or edit accordingly. I was wondering if anyone went from not having the ability to have restorative sleep in WD to restorative again. As you can see I take Mirtazapine and this feeling started a couple weeks after starting Mirtz 4 months ago and worsened. My overall sleep improved on Mirtazapine (though it's now back to 4 hours a night) dramatically but came with a price. I'm obviously trying to decide if I need to taper the Mirtz. But this is a general question. Can non restorative sleep be turned around in WD? I know CFS patients experience it. I also know people do get their sleep back eventually in WD. But can restorative sleep come back as well once lost.

[SquirrellyGirl]

Hey Christian!  I can't speak from experience, but I would like to say yes.  The nervous system pushes back against the action of the drugs.  I know you were on Z drugs in the not too distant  past and have been on temazapam for sleep, and the body pushes back against those with oppositional modifications.  Take those away and all you are left with are those changes unopposed!  Result:  insomnia.  It takes time for those changes to revert just as it does for the serotonin pathway to up-regulate.  I have faith that that will happen as long as nothing else is added to confuse the situation.  It seems that the mirt's sedative action from blocked H1 receptors isn't strong enough to contend with those changes.  I don't fully understand the whole GABA and alerting system dysregulation etc etc.  My brain can't seem to hang onto learning about it.

 

I know a woman on another forum who tapered mirt too quickly, though she used a liquid titration, and leaned on temazapam heavily in the process.  Far as I know, she is still stuck on the tem. She considers herself a success, but was diagnosed with HYPERTHYROIDISM which she did not have while on the higher dose of mirt, so I see this as a legacy withdrawal effect, for which she is taking drugs!  She doesn't recognize this as a result of tapering too fast and withdrawal.  GiaK (Monica Cassini) writes about such endocrine issues in withdrawal.

 

I guess if it were me I'd hang on with the mirt for now and allow the other systems to gradually recover since tapering mirt can trigger rebound insomnia and you sure don't need another reason for insomnia to persist.  I'm tapering mirt very slowly and so far so good, haven't had that happen, but then I wasn't having the sleep issues that you are having to start with.

 

Restorative?  Well, if the changes from the drugs shake out, then yes, it should be :-)

 

SG

[Christian]

Hey Christian! I can't speak from experience, but I would like to say yes. The nervous system pushes back against the action of the drugs. I know you were on Z drugs in the not too distant past and have been on temazapam for sleep, and the body pushes back against those with oppositional modifications. Take those away and all you are left with are those changes unopposed! Result: insomnia. It takes time for those changes to revert just as it does for the serotonin pathway to up-regulate. I have faith that that will happen as long as nothing else is added to confuse the situation. It seems that the mirt's sedative action from blocked H1 receptors isn't strong enough to contend with those changes. I don't fully understand the whole GABA and alerting system dysregulation etc etc. My brain can't seem to hang onto learning about it.

 

I know a woman on another forum who tapered mirt too quickly, though she used a liquid titration, and leaned on temazapam heavily in the process. Far as I know, she is still stuck on the tem. She considers herself a success, but was diagnosed with HYPERTHYROIDISM which she did not have while on the higher dose of mirt, so I see this as a legacy withdrawal effect, for which she is taking drugs! She doesn't recognize this as a result of tapering too fast and withdrawal. GiaK (Monica Cassini) writes about such endocrine issues in withdrawal.

 

I guess if it were me I'd hang on with the mirt for now and allow the other systems to gradually recover since tapering mirt can trigger rebound insomnia and you sure don't need another reason for insomnia to persist. I'm tapering mirt very slowly and so far so good, haven't had that happen, but then I wasn't having the sleep issues that you are having to start with.

 

Restorative? Well, if the changes from the drugs shake out, then yes, it should be :-)

 

SG

[Christian]

Thanks SquirrlyGirl,

 

You are correct that I'm scared of tapering Mirtz though I've only been on it for 4 months at 15 MG. I hope my sleep amount improves to a point where I can taper it off. But I will say that I had fatigue all along in this WD. But the restorative sleep took a step back within a month of Mirtz. I think what your saying is once I stabilize some down the road and eventually get off Mirtz and the occasional Temazapam restorative sleep will return.

[Altostrata]

Christian, the answer to our question depends a great deal on your history. Prior withdrawal and benzo use have a lot to do with sleep quality. I've merged this with your Into topic, which contains the essential information.

[Altostrata]

From what I can tell from your history, your sleep may be fragmented by withdrawal syndrome, not necessarily by mirtazapine use. What is your daily symptom pattern, the times you take your drugs, and their dosages?

 

This information is necessary every time you have a question about what is causing a particular symptom.

[Christian]

Hi Alto,

 

I'm not on my laptop as I'm dropping my sons back at their moms but here is a snapshot as it's fairly simple.

 

Mirtzapine 15 MG at 10 PM

 

I'll take Temazapam 15 MG or Klonopin 1MG 1-2 times a week at 10 PM with Remeron.

 

Symptoms are always the same at this stage. I promise you this isn't being lazy. It's the truth.

 

Lethargic all day

Fogged all day

Insomnia 4 hours sleep daily

Drowsiness all day

No appetite all day

Extremely Fatigued all day

Shortness of breath all day

Anxiety occurs but only if in startled by sounds

Minor head pain 15 minutes upon taking Remeron

 

Now that the inner restlessness I once has reduced, I'm left with severe fatigue and lethargy. I guess the anxiety I once had provided the energy. I won't include my other symtoms that I have had which includes some gait issues as well vision issues like a delayed response when I look at something and it registering in my brain. Like looking in a drawer with many objects for say a bottle opener and not locating it promptly.

 

All of these symptoms I've read others have had as well. I've also read that WD can mirror enchaphilitis type symtoms like the ones I have. Obviously, Monica is healing. Others I've read have as well. I'm seeing a neourologist to rule it out just in case. Mirtzapine was very helpful in early WD. It got me some much needed sleep. But it seems to me it's non restorative sleep. It's awful waking up. I don't know if it's the WD or the Mirtz. Probably both..I know I won't sleep on nothing. If I'm getting 4 hours on it I'm horrified how I would do without it. One question I have is is it possible to heal while taking Mirtz. I've seen many take it and it's helped them sleep during WD and they eventually healed. But I'm worried as I have both insomnia and horrible mental and physical fatigue. Ironically, my symtoms are much like Bruin on the site and we are both on similar meds.

 

Alto,

 

Let me know if you need more detail. I'll try tomorrow. Seeing my Dr tomorrow to see what he thinks about all this. Also a Naturopath for holistic ways to reduce my inflammation and fatigue.

[Altostrata]

Is your symptom pattern any different after you take temazapam or Klonopin? Are you also taking Ambien occasionally? Which hours do you sleep? How long do the head pains last after taking Remeron? That's the sort of thing we need to know.

 

It could be you have mirtazapine hangover. Also, you could be getting a paradoxical reaction (sleeplessness) when you take mirtazipine with a benzo. What makes you think you have inflammation?

[Christian]

Oh I see.

Head pain after Remeron-it's gone when I wake up at 4 AM. So it lasts less than 6 hours

 

Ambien- I rarely take that but I never take Ambien, K or Temazapam all on the same day and all maybe once a week each. Msybe twice a week each. You bring up a good point of the reaction. It's possible.

 

I will say this. I am coming to the conclusion that I do not feel any more tired after I take Mirtz. It's like I'm constantly in that Mirtz zombie state anyways. With your permission, I might try one night without meds.

 

Mirtz- I know you are right my sleep is from WD. Either I'm feeling an additional WD from the failed reinstatements from going off 3-4 months ago or the Mirtz stopped working as much. I will say my body fights off that Mirtz sedation. I know you had that (not from Mirtz) and Luna did too.

 

Inflammation- I read too much online I know. But I saw a woman who was in lexapro WD who was diagnosed with toxic emphalitis with very much similar symtoms to me. She healed in 2-3 years. I've spoken with her. Others I've communicated with have mentioned the similarities. I've read stuff online with comparisons to serotonin syndrome. It's a contant state of fatigue, drowsiness, agitation, lethargy and often insomnia. I'm gonna talk to my neurologist about it in two weeks. I'm going to also get blood work done for EBV, Lyme, vitamin B, etc. there is noting that can be done in mostly doing it as I'm going to have to go on long term disability and going in with "anxiety and depression" may not cut it alone. even my therapist thinks I don't have depression but I have to go to have them sign the papers. Her and my current psych that are in the same office tell me I wrongly prescribed lexapro and obviously taken off too abruptly. They know I'm in WD but they seem surprised how long it's lasting.

[Christian]

Alto,

If I failed to mention I have a constant sedated feeling going. Monica had it too and I guess still gets it on occasion she says. It's awful. It's like the brain is asleep. I actually miss the anxiety cause it gave me some energy. Maybe it's the remeron. Maybe it's no REM sleep for 7 months. I went to a sleep Dr and he said to save my money on a sleep study. You don't get sleep apnea the same time as you go into med WD he said. Plus I don't meet the profile of being overweight, etc.

[Christian]

If only I could shorten up my thoughts into one post. I know more than likely I'm a lost cause. But any other theories or suggestions would be appreciated. If not I'll stay as is and pray. I'm in bad shape but can still get around. Go to the pool with my sons. Walk the dog. Grocery shop, etc. but it's a hercularian effort. I worry about becoming bedridden. There are days I am. But I try not to be!

[SquirrellyGirl]

Ok, Buddy, tough love time!  

 

As for Remeron, no guarantees one way or the other.  I have been microtapering it lately, maybe 0.4 mg over the course of a month and I am on 11.5 mg so that is less than 10%.  I am preserving my sleep.  I was very sedated feeling in the  mornings at around 12 mg but once I dropped below 11.5, the sedation lifted.  My sleep has been preserved

 

However, there's poor Hardy who is down at 5.5 mg and has been suffering fatigue 24/7 for about 7 months after a too big cut from 5.5 to 4.5 mg.  So, very slow is key!  

 

Maybe, just maybe, you could lighten the heaviness with a super slow taper like that, but there's no guarantees.  Liquid tapering is best for this.

 

I've expressed my concerns about losing what benefits to sleep you've got with Remeron if you cut it, given the insomnia from withdrawal from the other drugs.  Maybe you could preserve this level with a micro-taper.  I'll be interested to see what Alto says on that.

 

Meanwhile, somewhere else you said you still had your Ambien and temazapam on hand, and would alternate them in an effort to improve sleep, but admitted this was probably bad.  YES!  I get the logic, don't get hooked on one by using it regularly, but you miss the point about instability, that throwing stuff in the mix willy nilly can't possibly help your nervous system heal.  What you need is stability! Everyone has been trying to pound this concept into your head for a long time, Christian, but you don't seem to ever take it in!  I know, desperation and all...

 

Finally, I've noted that you frequently ask others about their experience, comparing your situation looking for the Magic Answer, that someone can tell you what to expect, how long a symptom lasted, etc.  Comparing is generally not a good thing.  The only time it could possibly be good is if you can see that you are in a better place than someone else, glass half full.   Only get 4 hours sleep?  Well, member x over there can't sleep at all some nights, so you should count your blessings!  The constant checking, though, is keeping you ruminating about your experience and your misery.  Can you see that this can't possibly be helpful?

 

Which brings me to Acceptance.  I have read many a member on here who said that only when they finally Accepted their withdrawal did they finally begin to get better.  You are still fighting it, agonizing over your withdrawal.  It's normal, but at some point it needs to shift, sooner better than later.   Have a read through this thread:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3533-acceptance/

 

SG

[AliG]

Christian . You're not a lost cause , you're just in pain.  I have had the sleep thing to the N'th degree, as you know . There was a time you asked - is drug  free sleep worth it ?  Yes . It is . Drugged sleep is non- restorative , and is just what it says . You asked ages ago , is it better to have non- drugged sleep. In a short word - yes !  Drugged sleep leaves you with a " hangover " ! Non - drugged sleep is the way to go on a long term basis.  You have asked - would you rather have 4 hrs drugged or 2 hrs drug - free ?  For me 2 hrs drug free.   

Obviously you have to work through some of these issues and it doesn't happen overnight , but it is a goal to work towards . You have to be strong and know in your heart & mind that what you are doing is for your greatest good in the long term .

In the meantime , it will be rough. You have to be frigging strong and work through it . This isn't for sissies. 

Are you prepared for that ?

If you are , then fine . You have to be prepared for a level of pain , to work through this before you come out the other side . You can't give in. You have to have a clear goal !

Ali

[Altostrata]

What Monica?

 

DO NOT SKIP THE MIRTAZAPINE.

 

Christian, we need to know if your symptoms are different after you take temazapam, Klonopin, or Ambien. It seems you're taking one or the other several nights a week. You need to keep notes EVERY DAY, including what drugs you're taking, when you take the drugs, and what happens the day after.

 

Is every day truly the same??????

 

You must know how frustrating it is to explain how to keep daily notes of your symptom pattern over and over.

 

Thank you for that important clue about

Head pain after Remeron-it's gone when I wake up at 4 AM.

 

 

That is the kind of information I need. This suggests an adverse reaction to Remeron.

 

If I were you, I would reduce the 15mg Remeron dosage by 10% (subtract 1.5mg, take 13.5mg) and see if that helps.

[Christian]

Monica from Beyond Meds. I will do as you advise. I was with my sons last night when I posted this and have multiple Dr appointments today. I think I just can't handle these meds at all. I'm coming to the conclusion that I can't handle these meds. A scary thought when insomnia is in play. I'll post an update with more thorough daily patterns in a few days.

[Christian]

Christian . You're not a lost cause , you're just in pain. I have had the sleep thing to the N'th degree, as you know . There was a time you asked - is drug free sleep worth it ? Yes . It is . Drugged sleep is non- restorative , and is just what it says . You asked ages ago , is it better to have non- drugged sleep. In a short word - yes ! Drugged sleep leaves you with a " hangover " ! Non - drugged sleep is the way to go on a long term basis. You have asked - would you rather have 4 hrs drugged or 2 hrs drug - free ? For me 2 hrs drug free.

Obviously you have to work through some of these issues and it doesn't happen overnight , but it is a goal to work towards . You have to be strong and know in your heart & mind that what you are doing is for your greatest good in the long term .

In the meantime , it will be rough. You have to be frigging strong and work through it . This isn't for sissies.

Are you prepared for that ?

If you are , then fine . You have to be prepared for a level of pain , to work through this before you come out the other side . You can't give in. You have to have a clear goal !

Ali

[Christian]

Thanks Alig! You are a perfect example of how patience pays off!

[Christian]

Hello all,

Just wanted to say hello and provide a little update. I'm still taking the Mirtazapine but now at around 12.5 MG for the last two weeks. I have been in a wave for a few weeks now where I was limited in my abilities to function. Well I am happy to say I have been better. Still suffering from fatigue, gait issues, lethargy,fog and poor sleep. But the symptoms are more tolerable. I've been going to the neighborhood pool with my sons this summer and the last couple days talking to my neighbors more easily. Cracking jokes again. Like I used to. It's so good to be rid of the anxiety. But the fatigue is out of this world. I limp around but I feel like I'm 85 years old. Shortness of breath too. But compared to 7 months ago I'm improving. If this fog would lift some I would love to return to work but I'm still too slow for that type of responsibility. On another note I saw a naturopath and based on his tests I am in the "adrenal exhaustion" phase and it's going to take awhile to get it back to reasonable levels he says. I guess I have both high inflammation and ammonia levels. I told my GP all this info and he was clueless. I also saw a neurologist. He's going to do an EEG on me. I guess if I do have inflammation it night turn up. Obviously, this is all WD. I hope to be 70% of me by end of year. Thanks everyone for your support.

[Altostrata]

I would avoid supplements for "adrenal exhaustion." They tend to be stimulating.

 

One way or another, letting your adrenals rest is the best route to healing.

[Christian]

Thanks Alto! I take ashwaghanda and B-complex. Is that OK? I know licorice is out of the question per one your prior posts on the subject. My naturopath suggested "adrenal tonic" which includes licorice and I declined.

[Altostrata]

Good for you. How does the ashwaghanda make you feel? The B-complex?

[Christian]

I feel nothing from the supplements. So they aren't hurting I don't think. My B levels all checked out ok during recent labs too.

 

Alto,

My sleep is 5-7 hours of interrupted and drugged sleep which isn't bad I guess for WD standards. I wake up every 60- 90 minutes. My issues feel like I'm not getting REM sleep. I know these meds suppress REM sleep. Have you experienced any members that lost the ability to have REM sleep? Is the solution in these cases to taper off and face the music without the meds? My neurologist seems to think so. I want the fastest path to healing and I'll sacrifice sleep to do that as its non restorative anyways. I take temazapam now once a week and klonopin once a week when the remeron doesn't put me to sleep.

[Altostrata]

Christian, we've discussed this many, many times before. Please re-read this topic.

 

What is your symptom pattern for the next 48 hours (2 days) after you take temazapam or klonopin?

[bromor]

I second being careful on adrenal supplements ~ the supplements that contain glandulars are extremely activating. I learned that the hard way. I work with a naturopath to heal my adrenals & do take supplements. However, I have to say that it wasn't until I truly stabilized after my ct(s) that I could handle taking the supplements. Eating protein and good fats like avocado really help your adrenals to heal too. Just my 2 cents ????. Slow and careful is the best way to heal.

[Christian]

Thanks Bromor! I appreciate the advice!

[Christian]

Hello,

After a lot of work I found a Dr that recognizes CFS. He was very kind and knowledgeable. I guess he has a couple patients that have been diagnosed with CFS from medication WD. He said that it's a virus or chemical that may trigger it along with traumatic event and infection that disrupts the immune system. I guess he thinks my WD triggered CFS as well as I was diagnosed with it. He said he has seen improvements with Elavil to help with REM sleep and Cymbalta or Welbutrin for depression. I passed on the meds though he did insist I take a sample of Belsomra. I told him I occasionally take temazapam and he was disappointed as he said it was highly addictive and suppresses REM sleep. Counter productive to CFS I guess. Anyways, I'm having a EEG tomorrow to see if I have inflammation and in two weeks a sleep study. A good thing about the sleep center is they have a Dr who treats insomnia naturally. I guess he's helped patients off sleep meds successfully and got them sleeping on their own again. I am seeing him next week.

 

Alto,

I know you want a daily symptom pattern. I've been tracking it but actually haven't felt as bad so won't post it until I feel bad again. I think it's cause I haven't taken anything but Remeron for bed time. I think the Temazapam was making me worse from no REM sleep.

[Christian]

Hello,

 

I hope all of you are healing! I just wanted to check in and provide an update. I will update my medication history but I am pretty much just taking the 15 MG of Mirtazapine. I take Belsomra on ocassion with it as my Dr insisted its better than benzo's. Yes, I know its bad. My sleep is decent lately. 6-7 hours waking up 3-4 times. But what has happened is that it feels toxic. Completely non restorative sleep. Like I never slept. I cannot follow TV or read books for the last month. Walking is difficult as I am severe fatigued and gait issues from exhaustion. But my mood is good. All of my anxiety is gone. But I seemed to have destroyed my sleep. My sleep was horrible throughout this and never felt refreshed but now its really bad. I have read that when someone goes into SSRI or alcohol WD they could end up in a continuous REM sleep state for a period (maybe even years). The reason being that booze and SSRIs suppress REM sleep so the brain tries to reapy the debt by this continuous dreaming, non restorative state. Depressed people have non stop REM sleep as well as CFS patients. Thats why they are prescribed anti depressants (to suppress REM sleep). I have been diagnosed recently with CFS and I am certain I have depression for the first time in my life.I had a sleep study last week and I get the results Wednesday. I am predicting I lost "slow wave" sleep. I have no idea how I can restore it. I read a horror story where someone who was in SSRI WD lost their slow wave sleep, was diagnosed with CFS, and after 8 years still couldnt get restorative sleep. 

 

My cognitive is so off I forgot to pay my Cobra and my benefits was turned off sending me $thousands into debt. Luckily, after begging, my employer told Cobra to forgive me. Now my work disability is putting pressure on me to cut me off. I miss my life. It was so good and now mostly in bed unable to do much of anything. I think I need to come off the mirtazapine. Below are a complete list of my current symptoms. They dont vary. They are constant all day every day. No patterns. I dont have windows. I only have times of the day where the disorientation is paralyzing. When I need to lay down. I do cut the grass, walk my dog most days, do the grocery shopping, cook meals. But it is very hard. I feel better than when I did while on Lexapro, I feel less drugged, less anxiety, less gait issues and and head pain. What scares me the most is this non restorative sleep issue. Maybe its sleep apnea. But I doubt it. What I am scared about is if its permanent. My brain/eyes are drained, fatigued and fogged. I feel like all the adverse reaction and WD symptoms are mostly gone except this sleep problem.       

 

 

Head pain-better than when I was on Lexapro, however

Insomnia-corrected by Mirtz

Non restorative sleep-my #1 fear and focus

Gait issues-probably from NRS

Vision issues-probably from NRS (non restorative sleep) 

Extreme fatigue-Extreme fatigue

Extreme lethargy-walk around like I'm drunk

Cognitive Impairment-probably from NRS

Depression-probably from NRS

Shortness of breath

Lack of appetite- lost 20 lbs over 8 months

Drowsy/sedated feeling

Neck pain

 

This is very hard for me to update my thread. It might not be for awhile. I hope everyone is doing OK. I know people all heal from WD. I now wonder if people can all heal from adverse reactions.   

[Christian]

Hello,

 

I hope all of you are healing! I just wanted to check in and provide an update. I will update my medication history but I am pretty much just taking the 15 MG of Mirtazapine. I take Belsomra on ocassion with it as my Dr insisted its better than benzo's. Yes, I know its bad. My sleep is decent lately. 6-7 hours waking up 3-4 times. But what has happened is that it feels toxic. Completely non restorative sleep. Like I never slept. I cannot follow TV or read books for the last month. Walking is difficult as I am severe fatigued and gait issues from exhaustion. But my mood is good. All of my anxiety is gone. But I seemed to have destroyed my sleep. My sleep was horrible throughout this and never felt refreshed but now its really bad. I have read that when someone goes into SSRI or alcohol WD they could end up in a continuous REM sleep state for a period (maybe even years). The reason being that booze and SSRIs suppress REM sleep so the brain tries to reapy the debt by this continuous dreaming, non restorative state. Depressed people have non stop REM sleep as well as CFS patients. Thats why they are prescribed anti depressants (to suppress REM sleep). I have been diagnosed recently with CFS and I am certain I have depression for the first time in my life.I had a sleep study last week and I get the results Wednesday. I am predicting I lost "slow wave" sleep. I have no idea how I can restore it. I read a horror story where someone who was in SSRI WD lost their slow wave sleep, was diagnosed with CFS, and after 8 years still couldnt get restorative sleep.

 

My cognitive is so off I forgot to pay my Cobra and my benefits was turned off sending me $thousands into debt. Luckily, after begging, my employer told Cobra to forgive me. Now my work disability is putting pressure on me to cut me off. I miss my life. It was so good and now mostly in bed unable to do much of anything. I think I need to come off the mirtazapine. Below are a complete list of my current symptoms. They dont vary. They are constant all day every day. No patterns. I dont have windows. I only have times of the day where the disorientation is paralyzing. When I need to lay down. I do cut the grass, walk my dog most days, do the grocery shopping, cook meals. But it is very hard. I feel better than when I did while on Lexapro, I feel less drugged, less anxiety, less gait issues and and head pain. What scares me the most is this non restorative sleep issue. Maybe its sleep apnea. But I doubt it. What I am scared about is if its permanent. My brain/eyes are drained, fatigued and fogged. I feel like all the adverse reaction and WD symptoms are mostly gone except this sleep problem.

 

 

Head pain-better than when I was on Lexapro, however

Insomnia-corrected by Mirtz

Non restorative sleep-my #1 fear and focus

Gait issues-probably from NRS

Vision issues-probably from NRS (non restorative sleep)

Extreme fatigue-Extreme fatigue

Extreme lethargy-walk around like I'm drunk

Cognitive Impairment-probably from NRS

Depression-probably from NRS

Shortness of breath

Lack of appetite- lost 20 lbs over 8 months

Drowsy/sedated feeling

Neck pain

 

This is very hard for me to update my thread. It might not be for awhile. I hope everyone is doing OK. I know people all heal from WD. I now wonder if people can all heal from adverse reactions.