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Shane88L: anhedonia/depression from withdrawing from olanzapine / Zyprexa


Shane88L

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Feeling far better than I was when I posted last on Jan 4th!

Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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1 hour ago, Shane88L said:

Feeling far better than I was when I posted last on Jan 4th!

 

Glad to hear that you are feeling better, Shane!

 

Pre- October 2022: Wellbutrin, Escitalopram, CitalopramSertraline, Adderall IR, Vyvanse, Propranolol, Buspar, Ativan, and Latuda

Oct 13, 2022 - Oct 24, 2022 and Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Zyprexa (2.5 mg). Jan 14, 2023 -> Began transition to liquid suspension. Jan 29, 2023 = 2.375mg -> Feb 12, 2023 = 2.25mg -> Feb 27, 2023 = 2.14mg -> Mar 12, 2023 = 2.025mg -> Mar 27, 2023 = 1.93mg -> Apr 10, 2023 = 1.82mg -> Apr 23, 2023 = 1.74mg -> May 7, 2023 = 1.64mg -> May 21, 2023 = 1.56mg -> June 4, 2023 = 1.48mg -> June 19, 2023 = 1.4mg -> July 2, 2023 = 1.33mg -> July 16, 2023 = 1.26mg -> July 31, 2023 = 1.2mg -> Aug 13, 2023 = 1.14mg -> Aug 27, 2023 = 1.08mg -> Sep 13, 2023 = 1.02mg -> Jan 22, 2024 = 0.97mg -> Feb 4, 2024 = 0.92mg -> Feb 19, 2024 = 0.87mg -> Mar 3, 2024 = 0.83mg -> Mar 17, 2024 = 0.78mg -> Mar 31, 2024 = 0.74mg -> Apr 14, 2024 = 0.7mg -> Apr 28, 2024 = 0.66mg -> May 12, 2024 = 0.63mg -> May 27, 2024 = 0.6mg -> June 9, 2024 = 0.57mg - June 24, 2024 = 0.54mg

Oct 14, 2022 - Present: Prozac (40mg) upped from 20mg on Nov 1, 2022.

Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Gabapentin (300mg 3x day) -> May 3, 2023 = 300mg 2x day -> Oct 1, 2023 = 570mg -> Oct 15, 2023 = 540mg -> Oct 29, 2023 = 510mg -> Nov 13, 2023 = 484mg -> Nov 27, 2023 = 460mg -> Dec 9, 2023 = 436mg -> Dec 24, 2023 = 414mg -> Jan 7, 2024 = 400mg

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

I was ok when I copped Delta, have had worse flus, but the vaccines sure kick my arse for a week or two.  I am sure they have eased the actual lurgy though when I had it.

There are a lot of reports of covid inducing psychosis, whatever that might mean exactly.  Lots of self care is a good idea.  How about taking advantage of easy daily antivirals like lysine, echinacea heaps of garlic, ginger etc.

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one"

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks

Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^

Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone

 

Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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  • 1 month later...

@Shane88L

 

i have read through your whole story, and it is remarkable and inspiring, also remarkably similar to mine and discouraging, because I took Olanzapine the same amount of time as you in a similar fashion, and that was just over a month ago. I wake up every morning feeling such extreme depression that rolls into anxiety, my mind has a million thoughts a minute and none of them are good. Eventually this fades by the “true” morning, because I wake up between 4-5 every morning. 
 

I really hope I begin to heal, and my thoughts and behavior get better. 
 

would like to hear how you’re doing now! 
 

thanks! 

January 3rd: Hydroxyzine off and on 2 weeks

January 5th: 1 time trazodone. 

January 6th 2023: Olanzapine 5mg.
Jan10th 2023: Olanz 2.5 mg.Jan 19th:CT Olan

Jan 22nd 2023: Started Mirtazapine 7.5mg 2 week, 15mg 3 weeks, 22.5 3 weeks.

February 2nd reinstated Olanz 2.5mg. 
February 9th: 1.75mg after side effects. 
February 14th: stopped Olanz

currently only on: 22.5mg Mirtazapine.  

melatonin: 2mg l-theanine: 200mg mag: 300 mg valerian root: 400mg has been usedoff/on

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the messages and well wishes! I hope you all are doing well, and staying strong!

 

My wife and I, ever since coming back to Ireland 5 years ago now, have not left Ireland since. We are really both very much introverts and sensitive people (If anybody knows about MBTI Personality Types, I have done MBTI tests 3 times now with always the same result: INFP and my wife is INFJ.) We are not great at large social gathering/events in general and like to keep very much by each other's sides. 

 

So, we recently just arrived home from Spain(a very big decision to travel as we just do not like to) (my sisters wedding ceremony was held there, and many, many people from my childhood showed up) My father and mother (who I do not have a good relationship with and rarely see anymore), my brother also (who I haven't seen for years, and my sister who I also haven't seen for many years.

Well, it was very stressful. My wife and I were doing our best to socialize (and I took a 250mg of Xanax due to the anxiety - This was the first time since my withdrawals of Olanzapine that I have taken such a drug) which helped me to relax somewhat for the night. I didn't drink any alcohol.

I had 3 more 250mg tablets throughout the Spain trip as I was so stressed.

 

We arrived back in Ireland 5 days ago on Sunday, and I stopped all sugar and caffeine before the flight back cold turkey thinking I need to get my health in check. I have been relying on both caffeine and sugar for years now, every day (even though I am sensitive to caffeine.)

This is day 5 of my cold turkey off of sugar and caffeine, and I am feeling very depressed and very anxious with racing thoughts. 

I was wondering if the 4 250mg Xanax I took over the week last week were also contributing to these feelings? Surely not... I feel very much not myself. I think meeting all of those people I didn't see for years and my old family did not help me feel very grounded. I feel like my "rhythm" in my life has become disrupted.

 

Any thoughts would be much welcome!

 

Much love and peace to everyone,

 

Shane.

 

Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Took me 18 months to give up caffeine the last time.  I have not seen anyone comfortably CT coffee.

Sugar crash will make your body grumpy.

I wonder if there were people at that gathering you find unusually triggering for whatever reason.

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one"

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks

Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^

Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone

 

Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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2 hours ago, hayduke said:

Took me 18 months to give up caffeine the last time.  I have not seen anyone comfortably CT coffee.

Sugar crash will make your body grumpy.

I wonder if there were people at that gathering you find unusually triggering for whatever reason.

Hi hayduke, thanks for the reply :) I am going to stick to this path of no caffeine/no sugar and battle through these feelings. I am hoping for a much more healthy body and mind at the end of the journey! The headaches seem to be getting milder (which I think were caffeine-related) Nasty! There was my father, mother and my siblings. I think that meeting them all together was very stressful overall. My upbringing was not a healthy one, and unfortunately, both of my parents are not willing to talk about anything they did that hurt me. I have learned to avoid such events with them in the future.  I really went to Spain to the ceremony with the knowledge that it would be a challenge, and I talked to my wife and we decided to make a small vacation out of it. I really didn't expect it to be that stressful. 

Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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On 5/5/2023 at 6:43 AM, Shane88L said:

Hi hayduke, thanks for the reply :) I am going to stick to this path of no caffeine/no sugar and battle through these feelings. I am hoping for a much more healthy body and mind at the end of the journey! The headaches seem to be getting milder (which I think were caffeine-related) Nasty! There was my father, mother and my siblings. I think that meeting them all together was very stressful overall. My upbringing was not a healthy one, and unfortunately, both of my parents are not willing to talk about anything they did that hurt me. I have learned to avoid such events with them in the future.  I really went to Spain to the ceremony with the knowledge that it would be a challenge, and I talked to my wife and we decided to make a small vacation out of it. I really didn't expect it to be that stressful. 


I cross tapered with decaf.  Hard slog but got there in the end.  Even started staying awake a few months after :P

If you have to do those sorts of events, and ultimately always remember you don't - you can send a nice card or something - time limiting your exposure to the proceedings is another good tactic.  If your parents are the brow beating type, remember it is a lot harder for them to argue with your partner's needs.

 

Cheers

Edited by hayduke

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one"

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks

Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^

Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone

 

Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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10 hours ago, hayduke said:


I cross tapered with decaf.  Hard slog but got there in the end.  Even started staying awake a few months after :P

If you have to do those sorts of events, and ultimately always remember you don't - you can send a nice card or something - time limiting your exposure to the proceedings is another good tactic.  If your parents are the brow beating type, remember it is a lot harder for them to argue with your partner's needs.

 

Cheers

Thanks for the reply Hayduke! I am on day 7 now of zero caffeine and no sugar, and man, the morning especially are a challenge! I wake up with negative, racing thoughts, very much anxious and quite depressed! The card idea is actually something I will do from now on. A wonderful idea, thank you! The cross-tapering idea sounds great, but I fear I will just fall back to old bad habits!

 

Shane.

Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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قبل 27 دقيقة، قال شين 88L:

شكرا على الرد هايدوك! أنا في اليوم السابع الآن بدون كافيين ولا سكر، يا رجل، الصباح على وجه الخصوص يمثل تحديا! أستيقظ بأفكار سلبية ومتسابقة، قلقة للغاية ومكتئبة للغاية! فكرة البطاقة هي في الواقع شيء سأفعله من الآن فصاعدا. فكرة رائعة، شكرا لك! تبدو فكرة التفتيت المتقاطع رائعة، لكنني أخشى أن أعود إلى العادات السيئة القديمة!

 

شين.

I think that you need to forgive your parents and yourself. A year ago, I met a psychologist, a cognitive behavioral therapist, who asked me to empty all my feelings in a paper to empty the feelings, and since I am a social worker and through my observation of many people, I found that a person always tends to exaggerate situations, so this exaggeration turns into A belief and the subconscious mind practices what it believes. It may be that your meeting with your family was not that bad, but by virtue of the old situations, the feeling is renewed. Have you tried to forgive them and accept them as they are? A step so that you can see them again in a new way, far from your view of them during your childhood days

June 2019- June 2022 Amitriptyline for migraines, came off June 15, 2022 CT. Withdrawal symptoms.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Najla said:

I think that you need to forgive your parents and yourself. A year ago, I met a psychologist, a cognitive behavioral therapist, who asked me to empty all my feelings in a paper to empty the feelings, and since I am a social worker and through my observation of many people, I found that a person always tends to exaggerate situations, so this exaggeration turns into A belief and the subconscious mind practices what it believes. It may be that your meeting with your family was not that bad, but by virtue of the old situations, the feeling is renewed. Have you tried to forgive them and accept them as they are? A step so that you can see them again in a new way, far from your view of them during your childhood days

 

A lot of people say this and I think if you end up in that place that's fine. There are a new a school of therapists coming through in the last 50 years also who just straight up say some things are realistically unforgivable. It's not my job to attempt to forgive someone who causes such great traumatic harm as what we have seen in my nuclear family.  Surviving it is a full-time job. I would not discourage people from wanting to reach that place, but I don't think I ever reasonably can and I find complete peace in that.

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one"

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks

Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^

Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone

 

Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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4 hours ago, Najla said:

I think that you need to forgive your parents and yourself. A year ago, I met a psychologist, a cognitive behavioral therapist, who asked me to empty all my feelings in a paper to empty the feelings, and since I am a social worker and through my observation of many people, I found that a person always tends to exaggerate situations, so this exaggeration turns into A belief and the subconscious mind practices what it believes. It may be that your meeting with your family was not that bad, but by virtue of the old situations, the feeling is renewed. Have you tried to forgive them and accept them as they are? A step so that you can see them again in a new way, far from your view of them during your childhood days

I appreciate your reply, but this information is not helpful at all.

 

https://www.pete-walker.com/forgiveness.htm

 

Reason for Medication

Anxiety (money problems, future, lack of physical safety, dangerous environment) causing mild insomnia.

 

Summary    

2010 - Lexapro - (took one tablet (vomiting, tremors, high anxiety) stopped without any issues)

2013 - Cymbalta - (60mg daily for 7 months - cold turkey without any major issues aside from nausea/vomiting, "brain zaps" and dizziness)

2013 - Seroquel - (a low dose for roughly 1 month - weight gain of 20kg, cold turkey because of rapid weight gain without any issues)

2018 - September 4th - (Cymbalta 20mg for two days, stopped due to tremors & anxiety)

2018 - September 9th - (Olanzapine 2.5mg until October 3rd, then 5mg once, then back to 2.5mg once, then took random varying doses every day for a week from 2.5mg up to 5.0mg due to panic caused by the drug, then I attempted withdrawal Cold Turkey (recommenced at lower dose after 4 days of trying to withdraw Cold Turkey - I took 0.625mg every night until I finally successfully stopped cold turkey roughly one week later).

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  • 9 months later...

Glad to see your progress - did the anhedonia eventually go away?

 

Currently going through 0 pleasure, sex drive etc. 1 month after stopping Olanzapine that I was given during alcohol rehab. 20mg 1 month, then tapered fast for 2 and off.

 

Got prescribed Mirtazapine though which may complicate my situation and I will be coming off ASAP but I have strong feelings it’s the Olanzapine that ruined my brain and all ability to feel pleasure.

 

Not “condoning” alcohol or my recent “relapses” drinking but it doesn’t seem to work like it used to, no real pleasure anymore etc. Was an attempt to feel again and it all seems to have made me worse.

 

Thanks.

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