Nikki: hi, my rundown with ADs

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Nikki,

 

It is possible that you could be more stable on just the imipramine and not add anymore drugs to the mix. It will take a long time for that to happen but it is worth a try. Maybe Alto will weigh in on this.

 

And maybe go back to the Maxx after you have taken the summer off to rest and rejuvenate....

[lobster]

Hi Nikki I hope you have had a good day :-) I totally understand about over doing things. Im glad your anxiety is low and are not suffering any depression..I hope you get the rest you need and the swim in the ocean you want. I love swimming but the ocean is kind of cold up here even in the summer although my son doesn't mind it at all. Take care of yourself :-)

[Nikki]

Cymbalta....I am on Serzone and Imipramine.  Same dose 50 and 50.  The original plan (and I have to laugh at that) was to get off Celexa and Imipramine and stay on Serzone.

 

So first went Celexa, next imipramine and then only one left is Serzone (Nefazadone).

 

Process of elimination.  One by one.

 

I think I read this here somewhere about leaving the one for last that helps with sleep....Serzone does, but that doesn't even matter anymore....I am ready for bed by 7pm these days and I go into a deep sleep.

 

Well that's my plan...one drug at a time.  I have not really had issues decreasing Imipramine (not like the other ssri's).  It's not pleasant and there is insomnia and I guess anxiety.....but not too bad overall.  I was on 200mgs. at one time.

 

Wish me luck

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Hi Nikki,

 

I guess I was confused about what you are trying to accomplish, getting off all the drugs or just trying to find one that 'fits'. I started to read from the beginning of your thread and see that you have made several changes in drugs and doses and that you were keeping Serzone in 'the back of your mind' because you felt it was calming and your mother was on it. If you keep adding and subtracting drugs it will make it harder to get any kind of stability I think. But this is a matter for you and your doctor so I'll refrain from giving any more advice. If you can find something that works then more power to you. I run into a lot of people that will never consider going off drugs. That's OK for them.

 

In my case I came to the end of the line. I have to struggle with withdrawal and face the fact that I won't sleep well or have a comfortable mental or emotional life for a long time. Every day sucks but it probably sucks less than what you are going through, I don't know. It is only when I got off the meds that I could see how they distorted my behavior and thinking and emotions.

 

I wish you luck in what you are trying to accomplish.

[Nikki]

Cymbalta....would love to get off drugs altogether and that is the ultimate plan.  These things take time.  Sadly it takes a long time.  That bothers me alot.

 

I am okay right now.  Some anxiety and yes I agree these meds (particularly the WD parts) affected many areas of my life.  I have to have some compassion for myself over that.  I didn't know....None of us did.

 

So wish me luck on the Imipramine taper.  Hope to be done with this by the end of this year, after that it is just serzone which is a tough one to get off of. (that is what I read on crazymeds).

 

Yes I know people who were on Paxil and crossed over to something else and are okay with being on a med.  I say God Bless them.  They are doing well.  As Strawberry said...."there is no right or wrong."  I still keep in touch with her.

 

This week quite a few people commented on how much weight I have lost recently.  I have not been dieting.  It is the weight loss from getting off Celexa.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

That is really a lot to handle. You are in withdrawal from Celexa, maintainting on imipramine after a slight increase and adjusting to Serzone. Plus being ill. I hope you do well with all of it. My hat is off to you for being able to work at 2 jobs on top of it.

[Nikki]

Thank you for your concern.  I am not experiencing WD from Celexa.  I was but it passed.  Been okay.  I intend to proceed slowly with the Imipramine taper.  I haven't had alot of issues with reducing it in the past.  Hope that holds true once again

 

Cymbalta I have never not been able to work.  For me during my Lexapro taper it was my saving grace.  I never missed a day.  I exercised regularly by roller-blading with my daughter and swimming.  And on days where I felt the physical symptoms I would rest.

 

umping in the ocean was particularly helpful during the warm months.  Jupiter and Juno Beach are gorgeous and you can see to the bottom during the summer.  There is a sand bar that goes from Jupiter south into Juno Beach and after you swim out to it you can walk along it for a long distance.

 

I am blessed with the ability to over-ride alot.  Alot like my mom.

 

Anxiety or depressive episodes are where I can struggle.  But I haven't had that in over a month or more.  Thank Heavens

 

Thanks again

[trouper]

glad you seem to be doing well. good luck!

[Nikki]

Not ready to start Imipramine taper.  In a worry mode.  Sat down this morning and wrote about or made a list of things I need to Step Up and Out of:  You know, feeling stuck and needing to move forward.

 

The good news is I have lost weight.....something I have wanted to do for years, but ssri's don't allow that.

 

I read a Louise Hay quote about sitting still and listening to that Inner Voice - so I did.

 

That part of me is tired of struggling.  I want to be where I want to be or see myself already.

 

I'll throw this out there.....maybe you feel this way or have suggestions:

 

This time of year business slows down (scares me).

Want to be in a place where there are no gaps in work.  Monday - Friday 9-5 fully supporting myself without the need for alimony.

 

So I need to get off my rump and promote my business.  Distribute cards, car magnets, word of mouth.  Stop talking about it an just do it.

 

I thought about Better time management which means less time on FB and SA.

Prayer and Meditation for guidance and clarity. (helps anxiety alot)

Social and Family Connections (more of this)

 

Remember that "thoughts become things"  "Change your thoughts and change your world."  Dr. Peale

 

Define priorities and act on them.

 

I have habits that don't benefit me and I engage in them over and over again.

 

Why is it so hard to change habits.  My morning ritual habit is the worst.  Wake up sense anxiety, and lay there trying to think or pray it away.  Go on computer, stay on too long.  I don't want to blame drugs.  I can override this.

 

I haven't been the same since I lost my job in 2009.  I live in worry since then,

 

Okay time to move on.....

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Quote: "I want to be where I want to be......" is, I believe, where the problem is for many of us. Instead of wanting to be right where we are, we want something else. Life can only be lived in the moment, not in the future. A look at CBT helps immensely with this and other kinds of cognitive errors and is far more effective than so-called 'positive thinking'. Reading 'The Power of Now' by Tolle is the best description on how to start living in the moment. Anxiety is fueled by worries about a future you can't predict.

 

I hope you can work this out, Nikki.  I know it is a huge recurring problem for you and probably all of us at some time or other. You can't fight anxiety with more anxiety and worry and the drugs won't keep it away. That's what got us all in the state we are in now.

 

Another way to do it (and short circuit anxiety) is to do the things in Nadia's post made recently in Symptoms and Self Care.

 

Every day, all day. More walks and enjoying the moment, less time here or on FB.

[Nikki]

Cymbalta thank you responding. Yes, I want something else as you pointed out.  I have not read the Tolle book, but heard it's wonderful.

 

My counselor had to cancel this week and I was looking forward to talking about this with her.  Will check out Nadia's post.

 

Like to send you a PM...

 

Hugs

[Nikki]

I happen to have a doctor's appointment today for checkup....last night I discovered what I hope is an ingrown hair in my armpit.

 

Doesn't take much for me to become a nervous wreck with worry.  I have had squamous cells nodules (2) and some basal cells, so this is where my mind goes.  Sadly I have a number of friends who had breast cancer.  Sooooo I woke up worried.

 

 Cymbalta suggested reading my thread from the beginning and I just started to do that.  OMG I forgot alot of it particularly the time frames.

 

I have been jockeying around with meds for a long time now.....will finish reading....making me sad.

[Nikki]

My Thread is making me depressed. 

 

2012 went from Imipramine to Celexa

And then decided to taper Celexa which was 40mgs. (as Alto called it a hefty dose).

 

I could kick myself in the rear.  I was on one drug One!  First Imipramine and then Celexa....why couldn't I tough it out and just stick with one and then do the world's slowest taper??????????

 

Than you Cymbalta for suggestng reading my Thread.

[lobster]

Hi Nikki :-) it seems easy to look back and say I should've done things differently. It does for me anyway but at the time to many things are going on and it's hard to tell what's right or wrong. We just want to feel better and make mistakes. We are only human but the important thing is you understand now. Don't be to hard on yourself :-)

[Nikki]

Lobster if I knew then what I know now I could have saved myself alot of grief and lost time.  But as you said I didn't know how it was going to pan out.

 

I had a doctor's appointment for a check up.  My blood pressure was perfect.  I got off Celexa which raised y blood pressure and I lost 15 pounds.

 

These drugs do affect alot.

 

I discovered a lump in my armpit last night and of course today I had myself dead and buried.  The doctor lanced it and it was an ingrown hair

 

Had a bone density....no problems there.

 

No UTI.....will wait for culture anyway.

 

Next mammo and ultrasound.

 

Then Dentist

 

I guess I am the picture of health except for the area between my ears.......................................................dangerous neighborhood that area.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

That's right lobster. We learn from our mistakes hopefully sooner than later.

[moodyblues78]

Hi Nikki

 

I`ve been thinking of you. I wish so much that you would find a way not to worry so much. I wish I could help you there. 

 

I know so well what you are feeling..

[Nikki]

MB  what a coincidence!  I came down here to check on  your thread about the website for anxiety so I could purchase their CD's and workbook and here you are.

 

MB the anxiety is such a huge issue and has been for a very long time.

 

I wanted to find a way to stop it.   I have to remind myself that I was looking for a way to stop anxiety and feel some compassion for myself over it.

 

I am at the end of line with it.  One the occasions I didn't wake up with it I felt like a new person and that felt great.

 

What are you doing to cope or get rid of it??????

 

Hugs

[lobster]

Lobster if I knew then what I know now I could have saved myself alot of grief and lost time. But as you said I didn't know how it was going to pan out.

 

I had a doctor's appointment for a check up. My blood pressure was perfect. I got off Celexa which raised y blood pressure and I lost 15 pounds.

 

These drugs do affect alot.

 

I discovered a lump in my armpit last night and of course today I had myself dead and buried. The doctor lanced it and it was an ingrown hair

 

Had a bone density....no problems there.

 

No UTI.....will wait for culture anyway.

 

Next mammo and ultrasound.

 

Then Dentist

 

I guess I am the picture of health except for the area between my ears.......................................................dangerous neighborhood that area.

 

Some times we are our own worst enemy lol. I joke with my wife and say how can I be a hypochondriac when im sick all of the time lol. Im glad that all of your health problems have checked out good :-) Have a good day

[moodyblues78]

MB  what a coincidence!  I came down here to check on  your thread about the website for anxiety so I could purchase their CD's and workbook and here you are.

 

MB the anxiety is such a huge issue and has been for a very long time.

 

I wanted to find a way to stop it.   I have to remind myself that I was looking for a way to stop anxiety and feel some compassion for myself over it.

 

I am at the end of line with it.  One the occasions I didn't wake up with it I felt like a new person and that felt great.

 

What are you doing to cope or get rid of it??????

 

Hugs

 

I think there is only one way. Facing the fears. That is what I do. It is hard but it`s working. I thank god as much of the bad days as I do of the good. They both bring me closer to healing.

 

I deliberately put myself in situations that cause fear and anxiety. Of course not if I`m feeling too bad or tired. I talk positively to myself a lot. I smile to mirrors.

 

I listen to the CD below every time I drive my car. It`s very positive and inspirartional.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Weekes-Claire-Hope-Nerves-Audio/dp/B00J5T6FS8/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1397821347&sr=1-6&keywords=claire+weekes

 

That is about it. Every day I see my panic and fears disappear or diminish one by one. 

[Barbarannamated]

Nikki,

 

First, I have to tell you that I'm amazed (and sometimes jealous) at how functional you've remained through this. Give yourself a pat on the back from me.

 

I don't have any fixes for anxiety, especially the kind that hits me the second I wake up (regardless of time). Sometimes it's crazy, irrational stuff that's unlikely to happen and working through that feels impossible, probably because it's neurologically induced.

 

A simple thing that sometimes works is telling myself that I'll worry about it tomorrow. I feel like there's so much wrong in my life now (some truth compounded by neuroemotions). I try to find one good thing or person or opportunity and focus on that. This is probably the same as "changing the channel" but seems so much harder when coming out of sleep. Paranoia runs strong at this time, too. I don't think it's related to dreams (for me, anyway).

 

This is probably old news to you, but thought I'd mention.

[Nikki]

Barb I hope this doesn't sound conceited or pious but I amaze most of my friends with what i am capable of doing.  My mother and father were like this.  I do have alot of endurance and energy.  It's in the DNA I think

 

I just threw out a love seat by myself.  Cleaned the patio, went food shopping, washed clothes, vacuumed, had brunch with friends and will probably take my daughter out for Japanese Food.  I have been blessed in this respect.

 

HOWEVER ~ It is the discotheque in my head that  can level me.

PS I did not have any anxiety today.  Hip Hip Hooray

[Nikki]

Okay I did it.  Handed in letter of resignation for real at TJMaxx.  Can't work nights....not even one night.  Not good for me.  I am a bit wired when I get home and have trouble going to sleep.

 

This is it:)  working Monday - Fridays my job only  Hip Hip Hooray.......finally

 

Hugs

[Nikki]

Today is last day at TJMaxx.  Hopefully I will feel more rested as a result.

 

I am at 50mgs. Nefazadone and 50mgs. Imipramine and doing okay.  I don't know how to explain this ~ when I say I am doing okay I am not depressed or having bad anxiety BUT I know that I am not at peace (or the type of peace I hope for) because I am on drugs.

My mind still has racing thoughts.  I still have bruxism.  Feelings from drugs is subtle and I  know I am not exactly right.

 

This bugs me.  I just want to feel normal whatever that is.  I guess drug free and at peace.

 

I would like to begin another taper and I am afraid to begin.  Not entirely sure which one to start with. Had been thinking Imipramine due to UTI issues and Nefazadone helps with sleep.

 

Maybe I need to think on this some more before making a decision.

[lobster]

Hi Nikki :-) I hope you can feel a little more rested now.I think I understand what you mean about the way you are feeling. Not at peace some times I don't really know how im feeling .Not depressed or anxious but just not right. Take care of yourself :-)

[Northcoastboy]

Hi Nikki

On "you tube" you can search for " Mindfullness by John Kabat Zinn"

He does a lecture for Google about mindfullness.

There are loads of other talks by him on you tube.

I am finding it hugely helpfull and practicing sitting and breathing 3 times a day.

Also my 25 year daughter is having anxiety attacks and she is finding it helpfull.

I so don't want her to go down the road we have been down:-(

[Nikki]

thanks Lobster and NCB ~ the truth is I am not in any real from of WD.  I sleep, work, exercise, see friends, read work on house go out to eat, etc.

 

Maybe what it is....is knowing that I have to taper again and don't want to go down that miserable path again.  Or maybe I have two drugs in my system and I am not 'me'.  Like you said Lobster, just somehow a little 'off.'

 

NCB a friend of mine is a retired neurologist and he teaches Mindful Meditation.  He is friends and studied under John Kabat Zinnm.  I used to go to his class every thursday night until I became a workaholic

 

It was helpful....definitely a calming effect.  If you go onto FB (my page) he puts out all sorts of interesting articles about MM.

celeste poliseo on FB. 

 

My daughter started having panic attacks as a teenager.  She took Imipramine for years and no longer takes it.  It's sad when it happens to our kids, isn't it.....

 

Have a good night:)

[lobster]

thanks Lobster and NCB ~ the truth is I am not in any real from of WD. I sleep, work, exercise, see friends, read work on house go out to eat, etc.

 

Maybe what it is....is knowing that I have to taper again and don't want to go down that miserable path again. Or maybe I have two drugs in my system and I am not 'me'. Like you said Lobster, just somehow a little 'off.'

 

NCB a friend of mine is a retired neurologist and he teaches Mindful Meditation. He is friends and studied under John Kabat Zinnm. I used to go to his class every thursday night until I became a workaholic

 

It was helpful....definitely a calming effect. If you go onto FB (my page) he puts out all sorts of interesting articles about MM.

celeste poliseo on FB.

 

My daughter started having panic attacks as a teenager. She took Imipramine for years and no longer takes it. It's sad when it happens to our kids, isn't it.....

 

Have a good night:)

 

 

Yes Nikki it is scary when our kids suffer. My son has had some anxiety issues. With every thing I have gon threw with losing my dad. He has suffered I tried to shield him the best I could. I thank god I found this site because I have been able to help him with out any meds.I am very happy to report his anxiety issues seem to be in the past and he has forgotten all about them. He will be turning 13 in july and I will have a teenager :-)

 

Im glad you have no real wd issues right now. With all you have been through you deserve it take care :-)

[Nikki]

I am officially free of TJMaxx ~ yeah:)

 

Now I can focus on ME:) and things I'd like to do and have been wanting to do for a long time.  My business will slow down some which I am actually looking forward to instead of being scared.  Surprised myself with this....

 

Today I cleaned and I mean cleaned my kitchen and cleaned the grout in the tiles.  It is glistening and now I have to get back to the grout one more time for the finished look.  Having a handy man come over for plastic over recessed lighting.

 

Need to paint kitchen and then order new microwave and range.  That is only one room

 

It is 6:36 I am showered and have my pajamas on.....I am dead tired from working last night and today.

 

Need sleep.

 

I want to go Wave running with my daughter.  I haven't done that in a few years and it is so much fun.

Movies....want to see Noah and yes Godzilla.

 

Will plan a reunion for my girlfriends.  Did that last year - time for another get together.

 

I feel like a truck drove off my back.....retail sux.

[Nikki]

OMG sick as a dog....started at about 4am.....intestinal

 

very bad aches and pains.

 

Is something going around?????  My hair hurts

[Jemima]

Sounds like the flu to me.  Hang in there, and do the usual--drink plenty of fluids, get all the rest you can, et cetera.

[Nikki]

This is all over here now.  Friends, customers and the front end people at Publix....my daughter's office.  Feeling much better today, but still needed rest. 

 

Thanks Jemima......

[Nikki]

Haven't posted in awhile....

 

I have been trying to understand the techniques outline in anxietynomore for recovering from anxiety.  I totally get it, but practicing it is a different story.  A friend from another site who used it to get off paxil and recover from anxiety gave me some pointers.

 

I am going thru my usual morning anxiety ritual and I need to break this cycle.

 

The line blurs for me as to what is a chemical (drug) issue and core fears.  The premise of the techniques I am trying to learn is that everything I have been doing for years on end never helped. And inviting the anxiety in to do it's worst is actually the answer.  There is some of Clair Weeks stuff in there but this is a bit different.

 

I am still at 50mgs. Nefazadone and 50mgs Imipramine and afraid to start a taper....because I am having anxiety.  I keep remembering what MamaP said to me one day....about the medicine being the problem and when she started to taper she realized it was the culprit.

 

Feeling like an emotional wreck and full of doubt and despair. This is real old....

 

Not sure which drug to taper first and how do I get up the gumption to start.

 

Input welcome:)

[Nikki]

Hi took a break from the site.  Working an at home program for anxiety.  I stumbled upon the chemical makeup of Serzone and it has norephinephrine which can cause anxiety.  Imipramine has it too.  Plus the serotonin and then there was celexa in there too.

 

I didn't know about the norephinephrine.  I think my problems with anxiety are from the drugs in a large way.  wow, why would someone prescribe all of this.

 

Well I am going to have to taper the serzone first and I am full of anxiety about beginning another taper.  I learned how to make a liquid from this site and that is how I will have to proceed.  I am angry at me and the doctor for getting myself into this mess.

[trouper]

hi nikki!

how is the anxiety control going? hopefully its lightening up for you.

 

don't be angry with yourself. we made the decisions we thought were best at the time with the knowledge we had, while trusting people we  believed we should. if we could predict the future we would all be millionaires from playing stocks.

 

good luck with the taper!

[Petunia]

When I  switched from Zoloft to Serzone, my anxiety increased to a level higher than when I was on nothing.  I didn't realize it was being caused by the drug at the time and stuck with it until that drug was banned (in Australia) about a year later.... then I ended up on Lexapro after trying Effexor for one terrifying day when for hours, I had the sensation that my head was being stretched further and further away from my body.

 

You might find that when you get off Serzone, or the dose gets lower, your anxiety may start to decrease.