Heath: Lexapro taper plan introduction

[Heath]

8 minutes ago, Heath said:

I took a total of 5.4 ml for today’s dose which would be half of previous dose and pray I can sleep tonight 

Which today ain’t over . Having nervous doubts. Very fragile rt now

[Heath]

The wd has accumulated and snuck up on me. As I was more sensitive than I realized I feel guilt and shame. I’ve been feeling the muscles tensing and releasing a little bit off and on for about a month or so. 

Currently Symptoms cold shaking , tensing and releasing muscles, fear heavy anxiety can’t sit still. Im in panic mode. Can’t slow mind . 

. I have walked today which helped for about 20 minutes after walk. Then anxiety came rt back. Helped pressure wash back porch , picked garden helped some. 
 

 I know it takes 4 days to register for up dose. The only way I know from my experience and SA is up in dose and self help. 
in  the past I went rt back up to previous dose. I think going half as much. But I don’t exactly know where that is at. Because of micro taper. 
 

if I updose it may take several months . But what amount? 
 

Any mods Gridley, CC, BM,GOL,Frogie 

 

[Greatful]

@Heath

I am sorry you are having such a rough time right now.  What changed?  Did you do a small cut? 

You can do this Heath, breath🤗

[Heath]

I have to work support family. I am ashamed  

This anxiety is relentless 

[Heath]

Greatful there has been stressful events and allergies over past month or so 

[Heath]

Shakes and shivers 

 

[ChessieCat]

Is there a possibility that you have a virus?

 

Have you had similar WD symptoms before?

 

I will ask the other mods for their assistance.

[ChessieCat]

Have you possibly missed any dose/s?

 

Inaccurate measuring?

 

Expired or changed drug?

[Heath]

8 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Is there a possibility that you have a virus?

 

Have you had similar WD symptoms before?

 

I will ask the other mods for their assistance.

I really don’t think so on the virus. 
 

yes I have had these symptoms before about 4 or 5 times. This is very familiar. 

 

 And what relieved symptoms was going back up to dosage . And most of previous times with dr. were updosing too much before SA.  Once with SA I updosed to previous dose. 
 

and just about every time it takes about 3 months to get a good window. But it gets better every day after updose. 
 

thanks cc

[Heath]

16 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Have you possibly missed any dose/s?

 

Inaccurate measuring?

 

Expired or changed drug?

 No missed doses or inaccurate measurements . I will get back with you on expired drug but don’t think so.  
 

I think this has been coming. And I have not been paying close attention. I kinda been like a zombie and feeling a little off for a few months. Like energy but not interested. For a few months I’ve been tensing and releasing muscles some . And noticing jittery feelings a week ago. 
 

there has been some  stress in personal life. And allergies came on strong the past 2 weeks. Before this anxiety happened last night I took a decongestant sinus got so bad that was a mistake about 30 minutes later I had anxiety cold feeling. It went away. 
 

rt now only thing that helps is moving, doing something. Cannot lay down or sit still. Chest heavy. Jittery panic. I got to get out of the panic which creates the negative thoughts. But I m working on it I’m walking outside picking blackberries. 
 

this has happened before several times And I just can’t really determine the correct dose to up too because of the micro taper. 
 

I had burning mouth in January which has pretty much resolved. 
 

Im so sorry guys I feel so bad for not doing something and catching before. 

[Heath]

I did updose today from 5.2 ml to 5.4ml. 
 

I stopped tapering in may at 5.2 ml because wired symptoms were coming on - or maybe I was just starting to notice them. Irritability grouchy muscles tensing etc

[ChessieCat]

I'm not trying to dismiss your observations, but just trying to think of other possible causes.

 

Have you stopped/changed/added/increased anything different with your other supplements or medications (possibly a different brand)?

[Heath]

CC, I did think of another thing - a lot of unexpected stress dragging on and on lately. 
 

Brainstorming And obsessive worry thoughts about these drugs and the anxiety. And what to do. Fear of what to do.  Hard to stop it. 
 

[Heath]

Anxiety creates thoughts. Thoughts create anxiety. Relentless. 

[Ariel]

@Heath

I'm sorry for your suffering. 

Hang in there, Heath. 

This is temporary, it will pass. 

Thinking of you and sending healing vibes <3

[Greatful]

@Heath

Do you think it's just a wave from the added stress and if you ride it out you will stabilize.  It doesn't appear that it's from a cut, you cut 2 months ago.  It sounds like it's from stress and now the fear coming in to ramp things up more.

 I know how easy it is to panic and want to fix it I go through it plenty of times myself.

My heart does go out to you.  This whole thing can be very overwhelming at times.  

Please never ever feel ashamed for the pain and misery brought on by these drugs. This is happening to us, the drugs are to blame.  I bet most of us have been brought down to our knees  a time or two. 

You can do this Heath,☺️ 

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Heath Is it still very hot where you are?

 

Prior to your updosing, what was your last drug change? 

 

Do you have a fever?

[Heath]

Yes it is very hot 90 to 100 degrees f.

May 7 was last dose change

 

I take Allergy as needed which in turn led me to forget to take it at different times. I have used Flonase a few times. 

[Heath]

No fever 

[Heath]

Alto Last dose change was 5.3 to 5.2 may 7 brass monkey slide

 

stand by still typing while I can

[ChessieCat]

12 hours ago, Heath said:

I have used Flonase a few times. 

 

Flonase is a corticosteroid.  There is/are alternative/s.

 

  A post by Alto to Dejavu:

 

On 7/11/2020 at 1:58 PM, Altostrata said:

Flonase is a steroid, so ????

 

Azelastine by prescription is a nasal spray that doesn't have a steroid in it. You might want to try that instead and see if this settles down.

 

[Heath]

CC I have not used the antihistamine Azelastine spray . 
 

2 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Flonase is a corticosteroid.  There is/are alternative/s.

 

  A post by Alto to Dejavu:

 

 

I have used Flonase a few times this season. actually last week. And Allegra as needed. So I have been forgetting Allegra. I had not been taking good care of my body in allergy department up until Thursday and it had all built up in my sinuses. 
 I also use saline spray. Friday sinus headache so bad . I took a decongestantphenylephrine. Which is bad. Not a good idea. I was even thinking of a steroid shot which I usually get once a year. But I know that’s mostly to calm down allergic reactions. So I don’t know what a steroid shot would have done for my congestion. The problem is the dry sinuses caused by lexapro let’s that mess just lay in there. 

my wife started a humidifier went to sleep headache gone and clear sinuses. 

so since my sweet wife cleared my sinuses I have been using petroleum jelly in nostrils and mask when going outside. and taking Allegra daily in my pill box. 
 

are steroids not good in withdrawals? Are they ok for when stable? 
 

thanks cc for helping figure some of this out. 

 

[Heath]

Thank you @Greatful and @Ariel for insight and support . Seriously y’all helped my heart. I been in hell. 

[ChessieCat]

11 minutes ago, Heath said:

are steroids not good in withdrawals? Are they ok for when stable? 

 

I would only use something which contains a steroid as a very last resort, at any time.

 

Some members have had issues after taking a steroid when they have been doing okay.  And it can be any type of steroid; I think one was eye drops and another ear drops.

 

bad-reaction-to-steroid

 

16 minutes ago, Heath said:

thanks cc for helping figure some of this out. 

 

You are very welcome.  When you are feeling awful it can be hard to work things out.  I'm still feeling crook myself today with my cold/flu but at least I know what it is (sort of) and a rough timeline of recovery.

[Heath]

Im not writing this to speed up anyone or answers or request I know everyone is struggling too.  I'm NOT being impatient at all. Im just writing this now because I can. Im shaking as I type this.

 

I am documenting here my experience and thoughts am a little clear headed rt now. I had severe anxiety for a few days still have it. Could not calm down. body shaking, cold shivers, hot, can't focus, obsessive negative thinking, morning is pure hell.  walking up the road at night in morning and daytime. the fight or flight chemicals in my body did not phase my physical body limitations at all. My legs are extremely sore now .Back is sore too. I probably walked about 10 miles in 2 days. In which I only walk at work. walked through corn and cotton fields . tried to go to funny movie with family couldn't sit there felt like i was gonna jump out of my skin. went for another 2 mile walk. 

Did not sleep much at all 1st night. 3 mg meletonine played sudoko,  with ear phones and calming water sounds and would fall asleep about 2 minutes and snap back awake in a fright. played sudoko fell asleep again for a few minutes, then awake. Used muscle tensing and releasing exercises and breathing excercises ,No sleep first night. Sudoko is a game with #s.  second day pacing, and walked about 5 miles . My wife gave me hot bath with aromas.  i took .5mg klonopin in morning and lunch  and then at bedtime. So today around 1:30 started pacing again and shaking. I took a klonopin and now Im able to type this.  Im also scared of taking this drug along with shame and guilt. 

 

So with the klonopin anxiety in morning is better and anxiety goes down as day goes by. 

 

 

As you all know me my life is stressful work and family and paying the bills. The past maybe 6 months have not been balanced as well. There has been more personal heavy life stress the past few months. My wife has told me that she noticed phone /computer time has been heavy lately with me. too stimulating.  And I remembered one day 18 calls in 10 hrs at work on my personal phone. Ive just been working gogo eating fast etc. my job is physical and mental.

 

Eating habits are much better, caffeine and nicotine habits are slowly better. Had none for 2 days so I don't know if this is good or bad in this unstable time ?

 

So now looking back there have been signs of symptoms of crash coming. This has happened about 4 times to me over 16 years. I ve noticed this spring and summer,  probably more this past month, I have become an attitude change,  working busy robot. no talking, irritable, no passion, just motions, been jittery, muscles tensing, working in hot weather I feel like passing out with heart pounding in chest, breathing. Its been very dry and hot. I have bad pollen allergies. the past few months. 

Currently Im brainstorming 

 

I get shaky and nervous looking at SA website rt now. I am scared to write what I am doing to get out of this situation. Im scared to ask for advice . I have been scared to mention that I started taking klonopin to calm this down. I  am no zinmaster and I have a family to take care of. I have been off work for 2 days so far. Im scared to call dr lord forbid. I may not make decision you would want me to. I know not to make any decisions by emotions - anxiety. I am using self help that I learned here. If anyone has any other self help suggestions . 

 

This medication scares me since the first time I took it and tried to come off. I fear this drug and when this crash happens the anxiety obsessive fear thoughts of what to do what to do. which sometimes the fix is to do nothing. But I have to work.

 

I believe what has happened is the taper withdrawals sneaking up and accumulating and then adding the stress and allergies on the end. This was going to happen with or without the mentioned stresses. Ive seen this before sneaky wd creeps along and jumps on you . The sneaky withdrawals last happened to me in 2019. I updosed and held at 9 for 6 months. 

Maybe I should have held at 7 mg last year for 6 months ? who knows. My goal is to be able to work and pay bills 

 

I may have mentioned this before Im struggling to figure What that lexapro updose would be a good possibility. and a long hold . In the past I would go to previous dose or half that but Im not sure in the micro dose tapering. I know this is not instant to get back to functioning normal but If I new what dose to hold for improvement then easy pezy right. The plan/goal usually takes half the anxiety away. So with a plan or goal , when We just go toward that goal that takes most of the nervous anxiety away. 

 

Starting to shake again before I submit reply

 

Thank you all for your support   !

 

10 miles walking didn't bring the anxiety down enough so Im off to the hamster wheel.

[Heath]

I wrote the previous message earlier today about 10 hrs ago. I just haven't sent it until now.

 

I also want to note that these past few days I have ventured out to try do do things in garden or fix gate etc. The heat feels unbearably hotter than it is . 

 

My wife is off work this week except for tomorrow So I think I will just take the rest of the week off.  They are stressing at work and need me but ,,,,,. I should have already turned in but can't sleep yet. I have humidifier with aroma. Im gonna take about 2.5 mg melatonin. Klonopin for emergency. 

I usually take magnesium in morning. 

 

I have to get off here to prevent overstimulating . So Good night everyone and thank you all.

[ChessieCat]

16 minutes ago, Heath said:

I took a klonopin and now Im able to type this.  Im also scared of taking this drug along with shame and guilt. 

 

Please don't pile on the shame and guilt because that will only add more stress.

 

All you are doing is what you think is the best for you in the situation you are in.

 

I hope you can get some restful sleep and that you notice some improvement tomorrow.

[Heath]

35 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

I would only use something which contains a steroid as a very last resort, at any time.

Thanks I was thinking that so I didn’t go get a shot and the humidifier saved the day 👍

[ChessieCat]

I hope you are starting to feel a bit better.

 

You might find the following helpful.  You have probably seen it elsewhere on SA or earlier in your topic but it doesn't hurt to be reminded of it, and of course it can help others too:

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk
 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Male voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

  

On 6/16/2022 at 2:53 AM, getofflex said:

 

A - Acknowledge Notice and acknowledge the thought or uncertainty as it comes to mind. 

 

P - Pause Don't react as you normally do.  Don't react at all.  Just pause and breathe.   

 

P - Pull Back Tell yourself this is just the thought or worry talking, and this apparent need for worry or analysis or certainty is not helpful and not necessary.  It is only a thought or feeling.  Don't believe everything you think.  Thoughts are not statements or facts.   

 

L - Let Go Let go of the thought or feeling.  It will pass.  You don't have to respond to it.  You might imagine the thought floating away in a bubble or cloud.   

 

E - Explore Explore the present moment, because right now, in this moment, you are OK.  Notice your breathing and the sensations of your breathing.  Notice the ground beneath you.  Look around and notice what you see, what you hear, what you can touch, what you can smell.  Right now.  Then shift your focus of attention to something else - on what you need to do, on what you were doing before you noticed the thought or worry, or do something else - mindfully - with your full attention.

 

  

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

[Heath]

Thank you CC !

I am feeling better , The mornings are still nervous and anxiety in day and then by 7 pm in evening I am really calm. 

I have downloaded an app on apple phone it has podcast , stories etc. appears to be free. Ive been listening to calming white noise while i sleep. playing sudoko before sleep has been a life saver distraction. 

 

 

Ive been protecting myself from allergies. 

 

I felt something today that is common in wd. I was cleaning my shop and saw and old vise that was my grandfathers and all these memories and emotions started flooding in. 

 

Ive been distracting myself. Ive been fixing things around here that I been putting off. I built about 7 bird houses. My son and I put a new hood on chimney (chimney cap), hiking, going to gym with son, shopping with daughter, chilling with my wife. 

 

i have one more day off then back to work and you all know the back to work blues,  i got it and a little anxiety. 

 

I pray and hope this will subside with holding! Thank you SA!

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Heath said:

i have one more day off then back to work and you all know the back to work blues,  i got it and a little anxiety. 

 

Just remind yourself that it's normal and everyone, and I mean non AD and WD people, have the same thing happen to them.

[Ariel]

@Heath

Thinking of you and sending healing vibes <3

[Heath]

My morning thoughts.

Does anxiety finally disappear by doing nothing? 

I acknowledge this is happening because of tapering very low on lexapro 

 

I accept that it is 

 

struggling to float  

 

 

 

 

[Heath]

I am struggling so hard with the constant ruminating thoughts of what should I do hold or updose, can I work pay bills, I want to believe if I just hold these obsessive thoughts anxiety will fade away. 

[Heath]

On 3/21/2022 at 2:26 PM, brassmonkey said:

I got your PM and will be answering here so you have a better record. I'm very sorry to hear that you are still having such a bad reaction after taking the drugs for such a short period of time.

 

First off, in your initial post you mention also taking Sertraline, but there is no further mention of it. Are you still taking it and if not, how long did you take it? Please update your signature.

 

Having the Intrusive Thoughts that these drugs produce can be a truly frightening experience. I had them many times a day during the middle years of my taper. The drugs have a way of digging up the most disturbing things in one's subconscious and displaying them over and over again. With such repetition it is easy for a person to start to believe that the thoughts are actually a part of themselves. They are not, they are only manifestations caused by the drugs and reenforced by our paying attention to them. The more we dwell on them the stronger they become, while the less attention they get the weaker they are.

 

Exposure to these drugs can strip away many of our "formed beliefs" and cause us to rethink many things. However, they do not alter our "core beliefs", the things we truly hold dear. They may shake our faith in those core beliefs but can't change them. Those core beliefs are the key to dealing with the Intrusive Thoughts. When an IT occurs many peoples first reaction is "OMG what am I thinking, that horrible. I must really be a bad person". That reaction gives the IT more of a hold over them and makes it more powerful the next time it happens. Changing our reaction to the IT is how we regain control.

 

When an IT happens, it is best not to react to it. Instead, take a few minutes to step back and look at the thought. Analyse it and see how it actually fits with your core beliefs. If it doesn't fit, then it is a false thought, and you need to react accordingly. "That's not me and you know it" is a good reply, say it directly to the thought and repeat it again and again every time that thought appears. After doing that a number of times, the reaction is changed to "you again, we've been through this before, now just go away". At this point you "change the channel", think about other things and go on with your day.

 

It takes a bit of practice, but over time this technique can be quite helpful for cutting down on the amount and severity of ITs.

Im trying to figure out does this apply to my situation. My intrusive thoughts are fear of these meds and what should I do. Hold or updose.  It’s repetitive anxiety worry thoughts . The thoughts I am having are not really unbelievable non core belief. But I don’t know. 

I believe once I have a plan in place I will be ok , a goal ? I mean it would still be rough but a plan is better. But it seems I am pacing around with these fear thoughts this morning. 
Any suggestions 

[Heath]

I don’t know exactly what caused this wave to happen July 9 , But these are my thoughts looking back

I stopped tapering in may due to withdrawals such as fatigue, grumpy, robot, nervousness , weak and dizzy in hot weather, 
 

Work in hot 95 degree F weather  with dust and pollen

 

highly allergic to grass tree and weed pollen.  Forgot to take Allegra several times this year

 

used Flonase a few times in may and June 

 

used a decongestant pill a week ago. 
 

severe headache congestion for a few days  a week ago - humidifier solved this 

 

heavy stress at home for a few months and on going