Rozon1: Effexor withdrawals

[Rozon1]

Hey @Subzero42 when do you plan on tapering?

[Subzero42]

I won’t until I’m fully stabilized, which I don’t know when 

[Ella56]

On 3/5/2020 at 6:04 PM, Cocopuffz17 said:

Yes, I get it. It is super scary. I went through a **** kicking as well. I read what others went through and was like I know this is withdrawals I will get through. I know you can! 
 

I wore sunglasses for months as I could not handle light even when it was dark out. I would get out of bed and fall on the floor, vertigo kicked my butt. I had headaches and tinnitus so bad I wanted to pull my brain out. My muscles would twitch uncontrollably. My sight would lag with reality.(as in my head would be turned but what I still saw was the old image that was in my sight at 90 degrees before). Metallic taste in my mouth and I could not taste anything but metal for days on end. My fatigue was so crushing I would be falling asleep in mid class and then go home and sleep 16 hrs. My heart would pound out of my chest and cause massive anxiety. My skin would shed like a snake. 

 

I would of not been able to do it without nutrition changes and this forum. I have stayed on my nutrition plan for over 17 months now. It takes commitment and does not happen in one day. 
 

I am not comparing anything. My mindset stayed strong that I would get off this medication. There were definitely times that pushed me to the limit and I asked about reinstatement as well. I am personally glad I did not as now I cannot believe where I am at. There are definitely still minor waves, but overall my recovery is going upwards ! 

 

@Cocopuffz17  Can i ask what was the nutritional change you did? I guess reinstatement would of just taken u longer to get off is that why u are glad? . Do u have some symptoms still? And are they the worse symptoms you had, just not as bad, or are they new symptoms? Just asking to see if symptoms change. 

[mstimc]

Hi Rozon.  I just posted this same message on Snorky's thread, but I think it applies here as well:

 

The motto and main principle of Paxilprogress.org was "Freedom is in you.  You are enough.  You are your solution."  That is the key to recovery and future happiness.  We can give you support, advice and guidance.  You can adopt and practice all sorts of CBT and other coping tools.  You can see a therapist for years.  You can even go back on meds.  But unless and until you accept that the power that created your hell is also the power that can overcome it, nothing will work.  It takes time, determination and struggling to find the right path, but you can do it.  

 

 

Edited March 13, 2020 by mstimc

[Cocopuffz17]

12 minutes ago, Ella56 said:

@Cocopuffz17  Can i ask what was the nutritional change you did? I guess reinstatement would of just taken u longer to get off is that why u are glad? . Do u have some symptoms still? And are they the worse symptoms you had, just not as bad, or are they new symptoms? Just asking to see if symptoms change. 

I went(still am) on a lectin limited lifestyle. It is developed by Dr.Gundry, the book is The Plant Paradox. I am glad because I am way better than I have been on the medication at this point. Yes, it was AWFUL to go off the way I did. By reading all the stories I would say it would of been easier for me to get off with a long slow taper(which i believe is the proper way).

 

I get fatigue at times, very minor compared to the crushing fatigue I had in acute and post acute withdrawals. I would say the symptoms now are like 2-3 compared to 8-10 before. I have one newer symptom that is odd to me but not unexpected. The feeling of fire going through my veins has happened a couple times, but only for a few mins. I had every symptom on the list when you google them minus the brain zaps. I attribute the lack of brain zaps to the fact that I have been taking fish oil for almost 17 months now. 

[Altostrata]

We don't suggest reinstatement because we want people to feel worse.

[Rozon1]

so what are your symptoms now @Subzero42? They've gotten better, like you said, yea? What has gotten worse?

 

hey, @mstimc I agree with that. Which is why I keep going. But I think, at some point I'm doing more damage to my body by staying off the drug than I am going on it. All these physical symptoms started after I stopped. I understand it's withdrawal. I just feel like my body could use some effexor to help it

[Ella56]

31 minutes ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

I went(still am) on a lectin limited lifestyle. It is developed by Dr.Gundry, the book is The Plant Paradox. I am glad because I am way better than I have been on the medication at this point. Yes, it was AWFUL to go off the way I did. By reading all the stories I would say it would of been easier for me to get off with a long slow taper(which i believe is the proper way).

 

I get fatigue at times, very minor compared to the crushing fatigue I had in acute and post acute withdrawals. I would say the symptoms now are like 2-3 compared to 8-10 before. I have one newer symptom that is odd to me but not unexpected. The feeling of fire going through my veins has happened a couple times, but only for a few mins. I had every symptom on the list when you google them minus the brain zaps. I attribute the lack of brain zaps to the fact that I have been taking fish oil for almost 17 months now. 

@Cocopuffz17 Thanks for your reply. I have too changed my eating to mainly raw, but not totally vegetarian. No caffiene or sugar. I have been taking high omegas and not getting brain zaps. Didnt know it might be contributed to that.  Glad you are on the mend. 

[mstimc]

25 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

so what are your symptoms now @Subzero42? They've gotten better, like you said, yea? What has gotten worse?

 

hey, @mstimc I agree with that. Which is why I keep going. But I think, at some point I'm doing more damage to my body by staying off the drug than I am going on it. All these physical symptoms started after I stopped. I understand it's withdrawal. I just feel like my body could use some effexor to help it

Think in the long term.  If you go back on Effexor and feel better, then what?  Eventually you’ll need to decide if you want to be on meds, with the risk of tolerance and side effects, versus going through tapering and learning to manage your anxiety.  I know it’s not an easy choice when you’re in WD hell, but where do you want to be five years from now?

[Katy398]

On 3/13/2020 at 8:53 AM, Rozon1 said:

Mentally, I feel more clearer.

 

Razon if you have noticed changes in your symptoms then you need to know that this is a sign you are slowly healing because it is so slow we can often not realise but changes no matter how small are good.

2 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

The biggest problems I have are the physical symptoms that I’m afraid won’t ever go away. How do you feel now that you are drug free? How long did It take? 

An actual symptom of WD is being afraid symptoms won’t ever go away. Please try to remember this. 

 

I am in the thick of WD but I am objective about them and this objectivity I believe came from within not from the natural healing process. I might be wrong but that’s what I believe. 

 

I knew late reinstating has a risk of feeling worse for a short time,  for long term gain. I also knew that CT can leave you with longer suffering so the decision was very hard. I decided I could not tolerate this risk of an increase in severity even for a short time. I think the act of taking this control became very powerful for me and the fear became less intense. For me the symptoms were mainly emotional and looking back I realised that it was, the fear of not knowing, that was what I couldn’t imagine living with for months / years. That improved when I took control.

Now I have really difficult times but I truly believe I am going to heal one day. Which is a good feeling. I get scared that Ive got a lot of ‘work’  to do to change thought patterns  but it’s nothing compared to the reinstating fear. 

I’m interested in 

2 hours ago, Subzero42 said:

I’m dealing with Effexor reinstatement right now, I reinstated 7 months ago.

Prepare yourself for a lot of suffering.

 I wonder what suffering you went through @Subzero42 before you got to 

 

2 hours ago, Subzero42 said:

i feel better but far from being recovered 

 

Acceptance of where I was at, made made coping with symptoms easier. I made the reinstating decision I was able to focus on coping strategies which changed my thought pattern from fear to proactively supporting my CNS which again was a way of taking some control of this all consuming condition. 

Good luck Razon you’ll get there. 

K

[Rozon1]

hey, @mstimc thank you for asking these questions. Their actual, legit questions. Where I want to be in 5 years from now is 80%-100% recovered. The way I feel now, physically, 100% seems not in reach. I want to be med free, also. I just don't know if I stay off of this drug, will I feel the exact same way 5 years from now that I will today. That's what worries me. But to answer your question in short, I want to be drug free with a managable life. 

 

@Katy398, So you've been dealing with withdrawls for a year and some change now, correct? How do you feel now, vs when you started your journey of WD? Is your life managable? 

 

I've felt some positive changes mentally and physically, while others have yet to budge. My insomnia isn't nearly as bad and I am starting to feel more like "myself" lately. 

[Katy398]

20 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

I've felt some positive changes mentally and physically, while others have yet to budge. My insomnia isn't nearly as bad and I am starting to feel more like "myself" lately. 

Razon that is actually fantastic news hold onto this it’s more important than your WD brain will let you realise.

 

I am heaps better than I was. Most definitely my symptoms are manageable these days. My questions are always about coping strategies and self improvement strategies. I still have zero tolerance for stress, so work is an issue at times and periodically brings on insomnia and a wave. My morning cortisol anxiety lifted for a while but now is back to bite. I suffer lots of emotional stuff and apathy is terrible. But I will survive.

 

By far the worst time in WD for me was the reinstating dilemma. Anger was terrible and even that for me subsided after I made the decision. 

 

We are all so different,  some who CTed are much worse than me, some are much better.  I’ve had very few physical symptoms it’s hard to say which are more challenging. Severe headaches which to me sound terrible or a living terror of life itself. Can you use pain killers to help with the headaches. 

 

Hang on in there Razon sleep on your decision before you finally decide.  Once you decide, try not to waiver particularly if you decide to reinstate that’s really important. 

You can do this Razon 

K

[Rozon1]

hey, @Katy398 thanks for responding. My physical symptoms that are more  bothersm are heart rate, constipation and constantly feeling cold. Can't shake that AT all. I realize if I reinstate, 1 of 3 things will happen. I get worse. I feel nothing. Or I get slightly better/a lot better. My body is no longer used to the drug at the same dose, so maybe that small 1mg is worth it? I guess I could quit it if it gave me bad side effects, I suppose. It's the physical withdrawls that I think that won't go away. 

 

my headaches aren't there anymore. I could take pain killers but I rather caution any other drugs at this point. 

 

Do you think if I decide to stay off this drug, in a year from now, my life will be much more managable? Thanks katy!!

[Rozon1]

hey  @Rhiannon I ran across your posts and I would like to know what your experiences are with this people in my specific situation? Waiting to reinstate 3 -4 months out at 1mg. My symptoms just seems to stay without much relief. I keep thinking I'm getting relief, but, physically, I don't see much of it. You just seem like you've seen it all. I think I just need someone to put this into perspective for me. I'm sooo afraid to go back but I feel like I don't have much of a choice.

[Katy398]

Fee

4 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

Do you think if I decide to stay off this drug, in a year from now, my life will be much more managable? Thanks katy!!

 Razon non of us have any way of knowing this, we are all different.

That is what makes this decision so difficult. I was desperate to ‘know’ this,  that was part of the whole reinstating dilemma for me. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. 

In the end I just made the decision that if it was ok for that person,  then why not for me. I was already 4 months drug free so that was something to consider. It was a gamble but CT is a massive gamble whichever way you turn. So unfair when done under a doctor’s supervision. 

 

 I do  heaps of self care to help, Fish oil/ magnesium/ no alcohol/no sugar/ no caffeine/ gluten free /exercise/ companionship/ counselling / distraction. It’s not easy by any means but Thursday was my years anniversary to this site and I am so so much better than I was. 

I still wear thermal underwear most days. I invested in a sub zero down jacket as well! 

4 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

I guess I could quit it if it gave me bad side effects, I suppose.

Please check this out with a moderator first. 

Gather all the information you need so you can make the decision. As with your headache and insomnia all symptoms change but if they are unbearable and you don’t think you can manage a week longer that has to be taken into consideration. 

Take care K

 

[mstimc]

10 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

hey, @mstimc thank you for asking these questions. Their actual, legit questions. Where I want to be in 5 years from now is 80%-100% recovered. The way I feel now, physically, 100% seems not in reach. I want to be med free, also. I just don't know if I stay off of this drug, will I feel the exact same way 5 years from now that I will today. That's what worries me. But to answer your question in short, I want to be drug free with a managable life. 

Hi Rozon

 

That is a great goal!  Let's see how to get there.  First, what does 80% to 100% look like?  Let's pick the middle--90%.  If you hurt your shoulder, being 90% recovered would mean you'd have 90% of your range of motion back within a certain period of time.  With behavioral issues, its a bit trickier,  but for now let's say you want a 90% reduction in your physical symptoms.  So your heart rate will be pretty much normal, your constipation will be minor, and you may only feel chilled, say, in the mornings till you get moving.  In other words, 90% of the time you can get through your day without having symptoms that interfere with your life or monopolize your thinking.  Does that sound ok?

 

Now, how do your get to 90% withing three to five years and be drug free and be rid of the ruminating about your health?  What tools will you need?  I see two big issues: 1) Your physical symptoms and 2) your catastrophic thinking patterns.  I really believe the physical symptoms will diminish when you adopt more positive thinking habits.    I haven't read your thread all the way through but it looks like you're trying diet changes, which may address some of the physical symptoms, but what you really need to work on are ways to stop fixating on your physical symptoms and what be causing them-you already know.  @Katy398 has some great advice on how to cope with physical symptoms during WD.  There are lots of posts about CBT and other tools.  Try to create a "toolbox" of various coping strategies that you can pull out when the negative thinking starts.  Like any tool, you need to practice using them properly and you may not get the results you want right away.  That's okay--just keep trying till you find what works. 

 

In other words, develop a plan and stick to it!

[Rozon1]

Thanks for the info and words, @mstimc & @Katy398

 

Right now, my biggest concern is tightness in my chest and this dry cough. I can't seem to catch my breathe. It's not anxiety. It's something entirely different. Like there's a functional problem with my heart. Even my resting heart rate is high. 100-110 BPM.

 

So my options are reinstate at a low dose & or fight this out? Hmmmmm..

[mstimc]

2 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

Thanks for the info and words, @mstimc & @Katy398

 

Right now, my biggest concern is tightness in my chest and this dry cough. I can't seem to catch my breathe. It's not anxiety. It's something entirely different. Like there's a functional problem with my heart. Even my resting heart rate is high. 100-110 BPM.

 

So my options are reinstate at a low dose & or fight this out? Hmmmmm..

 

How would reinstating help with your breathing and heart rate if they're not related to anxiety?  It can only be two things--anxiety-related or something physical.  If its physical, taking Effexor would have no benefit.  If its anxiety, you have options.

 

 

Edited March 14, 2020 by mstimc

[Rozon1]

I mean it could be @mstimc ... I just feel I constantly have a tight chest and I'm coughing non stop. It's a dry cough. This all started happening after I stopped the medication. My guess is it's my nervous system is just down right now. Do I expect it to get better over time or am I gunna be like this for the rest of my life?

 

Would reinstating bring me relief?

[mstimc]

24 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

I mean it could be @mstimc ... I just feel I constantly have a tight chest and I'm coughing non stop. It's a dry cough. This all started happening after I stopped the medication. My guess is it's my nervous system is just down right now. Do I expect it to get better over time or am I gunna be like this for the rest of my life?

 

Would reinstating bring me relief?

Self-diagnosing is one of the worst things you could be doing right now.  Your nervous system is in chaos, leading to catastrophic thinking.  You will immediately go to the worse possible  conclusion.  As your nervous system recovers from WD and you engage in more positive thinking,  the chest tightness and coughing should ease up.  I have allergies and its been raining a ton here in Portugal and I've had an irritating cough caused by post-nasal drip.  I just live with it  and know it'll go away as the weather improves.  Yours should ease as your mental state improves.

 

Reinstating may or may not help.  If you want to reinstate to relieve your physical symptoms, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You should assess what'll help in the long run: taking a drug to bring some temporary relief (along with the potential to do nothing and/or poop out) or working on coping strategies that'll improve your mental and physical situation.

 

 

[Rozon1]

 okay, but these feelings are real. Tight chest, unable to breathe very well. And I'm as relaxed as I'll possibly be. You think if I try to reinstate for physical symptoms, I won't have any luck @mstimc?

 

And I will admit, there's anxiety there, no doubt. My heart doesn't work the same way.

[mstimc]

5 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

 okay, but these feelings are real. Tight chest, unable to breathe very well. And I'm as relaxed as I'll possibly be. You think if I try to reinstate for physical symptoms, I won't have any luck @mstimc?

I didn't say they were't real.  I said they're probably due to WD and anxiety; they have physical symptoms. Clearly you're not as relaxed as you think.  You keep asking people about reinstating.   What are you really looking for?  Relief from physical symptoms?  A reduction in your anxious and negative thinking?  All of the above?  

 

I gave you my personal opinion of reinstating.  Its not a permanent solution for anything.  At best, it has a chance of moderating your symptoms, but sooner or later you'll need to deal with what's causing your anxiety.  Reinstating can be the right thing to do if its used as temporary bridge to a solid recovery plan.  If I were you, I'd sit down and think about what I intend to do over the next six to 12 months to get on a solid path to recovery.   Create a plan that'll address your main problems: the catastrophic thinking cycle that's driving your physical symptoms.  What CBT or other coping tools do you think would work?  What will it take to get you to the 90%?  Then you can decide if reinstating has a place in the plan.

 

 

[Rozon1]

hey @mstimc thanks for responding again. I want to visit my friends in California in a year from now with managable symptoms. Yea, I'm not relaxed. I'm constantly on alert. I feel it. I'm constantly thinking about my issues. I want relief from my physical symptoms, yes. A reduction in anxiety. Yes. All of the above. I don't want to reinstate and stay on the drug. I know I can't do that. Like you said, the poop out/tolerance threshold will eventually hit, then what? I'll have to get off of it again. 

 

My body has felt so jacked up since leaving the medication. More than I thought possible. It's just a matter if I'm going to recover. I'm going in circles, and I hate it. I HATE IT. I can't keep doing this. I'm constantly worried. I woke up in the middle of the night because of how worried I was. It's killing me. I don't know if the human body can go through what I'm feeling and go back to normal or somewhat normal? Effexor is a strong drug. Maybe it needs it to help it calm down. I don't freaking know anymore.

[mstimc]

44 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

 

 

20 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

hey @mstimc thanks for responding again. I want to visit my friends in California in a year from now with managable symptoms. Yea, I'm not relaxed. I'm constantly on alert. I feel it. I'm constantly thinking about my issues. I want relief from my physical symptoms, yes. A reduction in anxiety. Yes. All of the above. I don't want to reinstate and stay on the drug. I know I can't do that. Like you said, the poop out/tolerance threshold will eventually hit, then what? I'll have to get off of it again. 

 

My body has felt so jacked up since leaving the medication. More than I thought possible. It's just a matter if I'm going to recover. I'm going in circles, and I hate it. I HATE IT. I can't keep doing this. I'm constantly worried. I woke up in the middle of the night because of how worried I was. It's killing me. I don't know if the human body can go through what I'm feeling and go back to normal or somewhat normal? Effexor is a strong drug. Maybe it needs it to help it calm down. I don't freaking know anymore.

Yes, I am absolutely convinced you'll recover.  Yesterday, you said you had some positive moments.  That tells you recovery is possible--actually probable.  I've been where you are--in constant agitation and fear--fear of everything, including my own thoughts.  Looking back, I'm still amazed how powerful those thoughts were, especially since they seem so meaningless now.  Worry and fear are primordial emotions and hit us at our core; that's why they manifest in such dreadful physical symptoms--your mind is creating danger where none exists, so it converts the flight or fight energy to other things, like a fast heart rate or numbness and tingling, or whatever.  That mental-to-physical energy has to go somewhere. 

 

Your mind is telling you that you have to be worried about something.  CBT and other coping tools are just ways of telling yourself "No, there's nothing to be worried about.  These are just feelings and have only the power I grant them."  So simple yet so difficult to put into action.  That's why you have to keep practicing and practicing until they become habits.  

[Rozon1]

yea, I have positive moments but never moments where I physically feel better, @mstimc That's what worries me. You tapered though, I didn't. Have you seen people CT that recovered?

[mstimc]

Yes I have known people who could turketed and recovered.  Its midnight here but I can add more details in the morning. 

[Rozon1]

please do, @mstimc

[Armorall]

@mstimc I'd love to hear of CT success stories as well!

[mstimc]

Good Morning from Portugal!

 

Regarding recovering from cold turkey, yes, I've known many people who've recovered.  Please bear in mind I've only been an SA member since December, so I haven't got to know too many people here, but I was a member of Paxilprogress for several years, and many there were coming out of CT.  From what I've seen, many websites like SA were started by people whose doctors told them to CT or use a ridiculously short taper to come off SSRI's and benzos.

 

In my experience, people trying to recover from CT usually (but not always) face a steeper climb than those who've slowly tapered. The sudden elimination of medication from your bloodstream triggers a myriad of unpleasant reactions.  When I was working, I drank a lot of coffee in the office, but others drank a lot more.  I noticed many of the heaviest drinkers would come in Monday morning saying they'd had headaches and otherwise felt crummy over the weekend.  During my WD, I discovered the effects of caffeine addiction and withdrawal; headaches, the shakes, poor sleep, etc.  My coworkers drank a lot less coffee on the weekends, so they experienced withdrawal symptoms.  If just a couple days without relatively harmless caffeine can mess you up that bad, its not hard to imagine how exponentially worse it is for people coming off powerful psychoactive drugs. 

 

But just like any withdrawal, you can recover.  I've known a lot of people who went through the entire withdrawal spectrum, from CT to super-long micro-tapers that took years.  Across that spectrum, I've seen the same degrees of relief and suffering regardless of method.  A few people stopped CT and endured minimal side effects, while others on long tapers went through the same hell as if they CT'd.  I think you're more likely to suffer intense WD symptoms if you CT, but the symptoms themselves are no different than anyone else's.  Tapering helps because it increases your chances of handling symptoms that are less intense and spread out over time so you can cope better.  Each person reacts differently from any change in medication.

 

If there's one thing I've learned from my own experience, its that recovery depends far more on coping skills and determination, rather than how one stopped.  The people who've suffered most are the ones who had difficulty finding and using the right coping skills.  Personally, I doubt I would have recovered--even with a long taper--had I not found a great therapist who taught me effective CBT skills and then held me accountable for using them.  CBT isn't the only solution, and within CBT there are many coping methods, but without some kind of long-term plan, your chances of recovery are  greatly reduced.  Coping skills also allow you to address and manage the behaviors that drove you to meds in the first place.

 

Hope this helped! 

[mstimc]

11 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

 I don't want to reinstate and stay on the drug. I know I can't do that. Like you said, the poop out/tolerance threshold will eventually hit, then what? I'll have to get off of it again. 

 

Hi Rozon

 

I know you want a definitive answer about reinstating, and you're frustrated because you're not getting one.  But here's the problem:

 

One member could tell you it was the best decision he or she had ever made.  He or she went back to 100%, felt good, waited a few months and then started a nice slow taper that allowed him or her to cope with all the side effects.

 

But another member could tell you the exact opposite.  Not only did reinstating not work, but all the awful side effects from the drug just added to WD.  It just prolonged the whole tapering experience.

 

Within those two extremes, you'd probably get all sorts of other opinions, with no two being the same.  In short, its a roll of the dice no matter what. Its up to you to assess where you are mentally and physically, weigh the pros and cons, prepare a plan, and then make a decision.  But remember, nothing is written in stone.  We all went through uncharted territory in WD and we all had to adapt our expectations to meet reality.  Only you, at the moment you're in, can decide what should work best for you.

[Snorky]

Hi R

 

My two pennies worth as a fellow CT. I wish with all my heart I could go back to 10 September 18, when I stopped my 25mg amitriptyline. The last six months CT (minus failed reinstatement) have been  intolerable mentally and physically.  (Insomnia also destroying me) Also put an enormous strain on relationship with husband and son.

 

Im also having to consider reinstatement. (probably Effexor as on that for 10 years)I’ve tried to adopt “coping strategies”, but not v good at this. My return to work is also proving v difficult. Just thinking about v options and likely outcomes is making me ill.

 

Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

10 September 2019. Sorry.

[Colonial]

5 hours ago, mstimc said:

I've known a lot of people who went through the entire withdrawal spectrum, from CT to super-long micro-tapers that took years.  Across that spectrum, I've seen the same degrees of relief and suffering regardless of method.  A few people stopped CT and endured minimal side effects, while others on long tapers went through the same hell as if they CT'd.  I think you're more likely to suffer intense WD symptoms if you CT, but the symptoms themselves are no different than anyone else's.  Tapering helps because it increases your chances of handling symptoms that are less intense and spread out over time so you can cope better.  Each person reacts differently from any change in medication.

 

If there's one thing I've learned from my own experience, its that recovery depends far more on coping skills and determination, rather than how one stopped.  The people who've suffered most are the ones who had difficulty finding and using the right coping skills.  Personally, I doubt I would have recovered--even with a long taper--had I not found a great therapist who taught me effective CBT skills and then held me accountable for using them.  CBT isn't the only solution, and within CBT there are many coping methods, but without some kind of long-term plan, your chances of recovery are  greatly reduced.  Coping skills also allow you to address and manage the behaviors that drove you to meds in the first place.

 

Excellent 2 Paragraphs.  Answers, by extrapolation of the details, probably the same 3 dozen questions that each and all of us have going through this.

So many sit and wonder if they did the wrong thing and increase their worry about or what to do regarding the problems and this really helps with the over all perspective.

 

Thank You!

 

[mstimc]

3 hours ago, Colonial said:

 

Excellent 2 Paragraphs.  Answers, by extrapolation of the details, probably the same 3 dozen questions that each and all of us have going through this.

So many sit and wonder if they did the wrong thing and increase their worry about or what to do regarding the problems and this really helps with the over all perspective.

 

Thank You!

 

Thank you, Colonial, glad it helped.   It's important to remember that nothing is written in stone.   The only "wrong thing" to do, IMO, is to do nothing, and be stuck day after day in the same place.  Reinstatement doesn't mean you give up on therapy, and therapy doesn't mean you refuse to consider reinstating.  At some point in my recovery, I realized I needed to start somewhere and do something.  Not everything I tried worked, but eventually I found the tools that worked for me. 

 

[Rozon1]

hey, @mstimc  I appreciate your post. I don't wake up thinking bad thoughts. I wake up with symptoms that make my thoughts worse. It's almost hard not to be crippled by the idea this is going to last forever... IS it possible I'll feel the same way for the rest of my life? This WD hell? I can't do that. What if reinstatement gives me relief? What if it doesn't? I'm just constantly asking myself the same questions over and over. It's IMPOSSIBLE not to think about it. Like, my chest is constantly tight. Nothing works correctly. IS it worth even trying to see if reinstatement helps since I won't have that options 3 months from now? IS IT? I don't know. 

 

I live my life as best as I can. I still work. I still watch my baby girl. Not as attentive anymore but I don't sit and do nothing all day. Doesn't seem like it makes a difference what I do

[Cocopuffz17]

13 minutes ago, Rozon1 said:

hey, @mstimc  I appreciate your post. I don't wake up thinking bad thoughts. I wake up with symptoms that make my thoughts worse. It's almost hard not to be crippled by the idea this is going to last forever... IS it possible I'll feel the same way for the rest of my life? This WD hell? I can't do that. What if reinstatement gives me relief? What if it doesn't? I'm just constantly asking myself the same questions over and over. It's IMPOSSIBLE not to think about it. Like, my chest is constantly tight. Nothing works correctly. IS it worth even trying to see if reinstatement helps since I won't have that options 3 months from now? IS IT? I don't know. 

 

I live my life as best as I can. I still work. I still watch my baby girl. Not as attentive anymore but I don't sit and do nothing all day. Doesn't seem like it makes a difference what I do

This is WD. I was in this exact state 5-6 months ago. I was unable to imagine something better., it will get better!! I was unable to do 1 push-up, I was crippled with fatigue. There are two things that got me through this. Following the Dr.Gundry nutrition lifestyle and reading success stories. These two variables powered me through and now I am 13 months off.

 

Everyday that passes is another day closer to being healed!!  

[mstimc]

If you're looking for reassurance, then yes you can get better, and no, you don't have to be like this forever.  You have a purpose in life.  My responsibility to my son kept me going through WD and recovery.

 

But you have to try.  As I told Snorky, nothing will improve if you're waiting for something to happen to you.  You need to make the effort--the tremendous, difficult effort--to make things happen for you.  Reinstating is passive, with the expectation that a medication will make things better.  If that were true, I'd ask my city to put SSRI's in the water supply.  I'm not going to address reinstating becasue its just adding to the viscous circle of your negative thinking.  You have to stop inventorying your symptoms and accept they're being driven by your WD.  Then you need to decide what you're going to do about it.  Nobody can or should do that for you.  Only you know what will make you start recovery.  Cocopuff just shared a success story, as have others.  You know recovery is possible and you know there are many ways you can start recovering.  As I stated above, my recovery didn't start until I found a therapist who gave me to tools to recover, and made me commit to using them.  He expected me to act on his guidance.  Nothing he said helped until I put his words into action.  You can do this if you stop waiting for things to get better and start getting control of your own thoughts.