CareBear: 14 years on SSRIs - praying for change

[CareBear]

My Story: 

 

Around 2007, I was 19 and was in a 2.5 year long terrible, codependent relationship carrying over from high school. He decided to go into the military and when he left for boot camp, my world (at the time) fell apart and I fell into my first depression. I had never dealt with it before, but I had had 2-3 panic attacks prior (induced after smoking weed). 1 was so bad and scary I went to the hospital "KNOWING" I was going to die. It was so long ago that I don't remember all the details, I just remember how bad it was and my parents didn't know what to do. They ended up taking me to a GP friend who prescribed me 20mg of Paroxetine. I give no blame whatsoever as in my opinion it saved me at the time. I stayed on the medicine for years without ever really thinking about (I had a chemical imbalance after all and the pills fixed it). What truly changed was the end of Sept 2015. I was 27 and my 34 year old brother suddenly passed away overnight (death was ruled as undetermined). I had never known anyone under the age of 80 to day, and to not have a reason amongst many other issues surrounding everything that happened afterward crushed me. At first, I was so shocked at how well I thought I was dealing with the whole situation. Then after 3 months, on Christmas Eve, after going to the cemetery, I started feeling like I was going to have a panic attack. I left a Christmas party, and on the way home it was full blown where I had to pull over. I went into a restaurant bathroom and was on the floor certain that I was dying. It was the worst panic attack I have ever had and it lasted for about an hour. A friend had to come pick me up and take me home. This was the changing point of my life, even up to today. I fell into a depression I didn't even know was possible. It got so back that my psychiatrist upped my dose to 40mg of Paroxetine, and then added Buspirone to "boost" the Paroxetine (don't know how much), .5mg of Lorazepam, and also and antipsychotic (don't know how much or the name). I was a barely functioning, 27 years old and couldn't drive, my parents had to pick me up and take me to work every day for a couple of months and I couldnt even want in a store without holding my mothers hand.

 

 

[CareBear]

Continued...

 

 

 I did not keep track of my tapering, but I only took the antipsychotic for a couple months as my insurance changed and no longer covered prescriptions so it went from about $30 to $800. I was scared to get off it but I remember not having a choice and there was no issues coming off. Then I got off the busperion and eventually only took the lorazepam as needed (do not recall any WD from lowering any meds). I stayed on 40mg Paroxetine for a while (a few years I think). My psychiatrist retired and I found what I thought was a new one up until about a month ago (I see a nurse practitioner). I got myself down to 20mg again (again, don't remember when as I was not keeping track) with no issues that I recall, however, in hindsight, may have had some. Around June (I think) I decided I wanted to start lowering my doses. I jumped from 20mg to 10mg in a day and thought nothing of it. I did not have any WD (or didn't think so at the time. Now I believe it just came later). Then I decided since I did so well, I took my last 10mg dose on 8/28/2020. 

     I feel since that day I have essentially ruined my life. At first, I thought I was doing good. I had the brain zaps for about 2 weeks, which I expected (any time I had accidently missed a dose I would get them over the years so I was used to them). While uncomfortable, it was bearable. For about 2 weeks I was actually keeping track of my symptoms and around day 2 my stomach started hurting. I was having terrible stomach cramps and them the diarrhea and nausea started about day 3 - but again, I wasn't really feeling anything else so I was just hoping it would soon pass. I could not have been so wrong. I slowly started getting worse in a matter of days up until about the beginning of Oct. I was set to sign a new apartment lease and the day I was going to sign I knew I should not be living alone (having terrible thoughts). I moved back into my parents house at 32 years old. I was nauseous, having dark green diarrhea only, vomiting, severe depression, was unable to eat more than some crackers or a piece of bread on some days and pretty much bedridden. My body temperature became very sensitive and would randomly have violent, full body shivers that would almost feel like I was convulsing for 1-5 minutes. I even had to call out of work one day cause I was so cold and shaking so bad for a couple hours. I kept getting worse as the days went by, literally feeling like my body was just giving up and would soon just stop. I had lost 10 lbs in a month. However, none if these things compare to my biggest WD symptom. I have terrible inner trembling/shaking/tremor/tremoring or whatever you want to call it, every day. For the majority of the days, it usually comes on at night when I am lying down for bed. I will fall asleep for a couple hours and then wake up with all over inner body shaking that wont stop and I cannot go back to sleep. I believe the shaking is causing the nausea as when I wake up, like clockwork I start dry heaving and throw up (about a month and a half I have throw up every day). There have been on a few occasions a very tiny amount of blood (I think from vomiting so hard). With the shaking, I also feel like there are times where I wake up with adrenaline running through my whole body (my legs feel like they have icy hot running through my veins. I feel like I am only getting 2 hours of sleep a night and it is killing me. I can't even explain all the other psychological symptoms of disorientation, depersonalization, horrible suicidal thoughts, feeling as if at any moment I would just die (there is really no good words to describe what it really feels like). The only thing that seemed to help was I would go in the pool every day after work and my body would finally relax - unfortunately it is now too cold so I don't even have that anymore. 2 weeks ago, I could not take it anymore and decided to remedicate. I was researching daily about WD and found I had done it way too fast and did not think I could make it 1 more week, let alone the years I have seen it take people to stabilize and recover. My doctor put me on 10mg Fluoxetine as it is a good bridge, which I have found is the general consensus. What is so heartbreaking is there is no guarantee that is will work, not work or make things worse. I decided I didn't want to start at 10 in case there were adverse reactions, so I started at 5. After a couple of days, I started to feel every so slightly better. I was able to eat a little bit more food each day, my diarrhea started to become actual stool (still semi solid) and the inner shaking was dissipating (just a little, but I noticed a difference). At week I had all with the doctor to check in and she said since it was kind of working and I had no adverse reactions to bump up to 10mg. I was hesitant and even knowing all the warnings, I decided to do so. After a week as of today, I am feeling like i'm going back down. The shaking is as bad as it ever was, if not worse and was almost all day yesterday. I slept less than 2 hours. I am so lost at what to do. I know reinstating, and on a new drug at that, can take months to really feel the benefits if at all. To boot, I am also on a high dose of b12, and vitamin D along with a multivitamin for my low levels. I added some magnesium as I have read it could help with sleeping. 

11/11/20 - Feeling like this will be the rest of my life.      

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, CareBear.  Sorry for the delay in responding.  I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.

 

I've brought your situation to the attention of the other staff.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

[manymoretodays]

Hi CareBear,

And so sorry for all you have endured.

Thank you so much for getting your signature done, very helpful.

 

I'm wondering if you could note the times of your medications, and supplements for us.  Just put times, on the left, and then on the right medications by name and dose, same with your supplements.  Also on the right, note symptoms as they occur throughout the day.

Keeping daily notes of drug schedule and symptoms to track patterns and progress

you'll see what I mean, right in the first post here ^, there's a sample note

Just do your best with this.  And then please post a 24 hour segment, right here, on your Introduction.

And do include any Lorazepam taken as well.

 

On 11/11/2020 at 11:32 AM, CareBear said:

At week I had all with the doctor to check in and she said since it was kind of working and I had no adverse reactions to bump up to 10mg. I was hesitant and even knowing all the warnings, I decided to do so. After a week as of today, I am feeling like i'm going back down. The shaking is as bad as it ever was, if not worse and was almost all day yesterday. I slept less than 2 hours. I am so lost at what to do. I know reinstating, and on a new drug at that, can take months to really feel the benefits if at all.

This won't be the rest of your life, these symptoms......I assure you.  And you're trying to treat the symptoms of WD(withdrawal) from the Paxil/paroxetine now, and not some "mental illness".

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

Best CareBear and hugs,  And welcome, welcome aboard! Glad you are here.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

Edited November 14, 2020 by manymoretodays
welcome added

[ChessieCat]

I've moved your post to this topic and responded to it there:

 

tips-for-tapering-off-prozac-fluoxetine

 

 

Edited December 3, 2020 by ChessieCat

[CareBear]

As of 3 days ago I have upped my Fluoxetine to 10mg. I thought things were (very slowly) starting to stabilize on the 5mg, however in the past couple of weeks I have been getting worse. The inner trembling/shaking or whatever it is called is coming back, I feel like my brain is just going haywire (that is the nicest way I can word it). I feel like I am actually losing touch with reality and am becoming agoraphobic and am scared I am making myself schizophrenic if that is even possible, or just having a complete psychotic break. I have taken half of a .5 mg lorazepam about 4 times but havent in a couple of days. Its like a veil is over my sight and I cant see through it and am just so sad that this has become my life and am having sucidal ideations all the time. I feel like I have almost reverted back to being a child or an invalid that cant take care of themselves at 33 years old. @Altostrata  @manymoretodays @Gridley

[ChessieCat]

So you have increased from 5mg Prozac to 10mg Prozac 3 days ago?

 

SA would have suggest a small increase, no more than 1mg.  It can take 2 weeks for Prozac to get to full level in the blood because it has a very long half life.   You might find that 10mg is too much.  If it was me I would immediately reduce to 7.5mg.

Q:  How often are you taking lorazepam now?

 

It can take as little as 2 weeks to become dependent on a benzo.  You can become kindled when you keep going on and off a benzo.

 

Please continue to let us know how you are.

 

[manymoretodays]

Hi CareBear,

I agree.  I might reduce the updose too.  7.5 mg sounds like a good amount to me too, to back down to right now..

You'll see in the link about tapering Prozac, how to get smaller doses, and different doses, from how it is originally prescribed,

That link is about 2 posts up.

 

And yes, like ChessieCat is saying above, it will take at least a week before you feel anything from a change in Prozac dose.  I mean in general.  With it's long half life it just takes longer to reach a steady state. 

 

Can you keep us updated, as to what you decide to do?

And I'll see if I can help with some good non-drug coping, or even conversation too. ❤️

You ARE making progress CareBear.  Paxil is one evil Bear sometimes, with it's WD.   And for some, the Holidays intensify things.  I'm not kidding.

 

7 hours ago, CareBear said:

The inner trembling/shaking or whatever it is called is coming back, I feel like my brain is just going haywire (that is the nicest way I can word it). I feel like I am actually losing touch with reality and am becoming agoraphobic and am scared I am making myself schizophrenic if that is even possible, or just having a complete psychotic break. I have taken half of a .5 mg lorazepam about 4 times but havent in a couple of days. Its like a veil is over my sight and I cant see through it and am just so sad that this has become my life and am having sucidal ideations all the time. I feel like I have almost reverted back to being a child or an invalid that cant take care of themselves at 33 years old.

 

You are here, you are present.  You are just really scared right now and feeling so alone I imagine.

You will get better, it seems like forever and a day when symptoms are intense........but you will get better.  Okay.  You will not be an invalid at 33 years old.  It's a Wave and a tidal one at that.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

When do you take your Prozac each day?

 

Yes, careful with the benzo.  If it was not helping much, and now it's been 4 days without it.......I might just tough it out without it.  Or just use it sporadically.

Were you on it for long?  If so, that might paint a different picture.  If you were taking it consistently even off and on for 2 weeks, let us know okay?

 

 

Check on back soon CareBear.  Update.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited December 14, 2020 by manymoretodays

[Altostrata]

8 hours ago, CareBear said:

As of 3 days ago I have upped my Fluoxetine to 10mg.

 

How have your symptoms changed since you made this increase?

[CareBear]

@ChessieCat 

 

So you have increased from 5mg Prozac to 10mg Prozac 3 days ago?  - Yes, last night was day 4 of 10mg

 

Q:  How often are you taking lorazepam now?

I have only been taking it when I feel a full-blown panic attack coming on or feel like my brain is spiraling out of control and I cant even control my thoughts. I try so hard not to take it cause I know the possible consequences. 

 

@manymoretodays

 

I will try today to take only 7.5mg, however I dont have a scale yet so I will have to use my pill cutter - ordered one online and it should be here tomorrow - my pills are 10mg. I saw the links at the beginning of the month for dosing but am not very confident that I fully understand. I made a post in that thread as well wanting to confirm that the pill I am prescribed (Says tablet on the bottle) is able to be crushed up (it is blue) or if it cant be. If it can be is it okay to put into the empty capsules or does it need to be made into a liquid? I take the Prozac along with my supplements around 5pm every day. I was prescribed the benzo just about 5 years ago this month after my brother passed and I was upped on multiple meds. I was taking .5 twice a day I would say for maybe a year and then have taken since then as needed. Sometimes I would go months without taking at all, and other times I would take it every day for a few days, and I would usually try to cut in half unless I felt a big panic attach coming on, but I do know there were times when I would use it as a crutch when I really didn’t need it. I am terrified to leave the house without it in case I have a panic attack. 

 

@Altostrata

10/28/20 - Reinstated on 5mg of Fluoxetine (Have never taken before as an AD, only Paxil) - 11/4/20 - Went up to 10mg Fluoxetine (Taking 1 .5mg Lorazepam every 3-6 days as needed).11/11/20 - Went back to 5mg of Fluoxetine - not taken Lorazepam since 11/12. 

 

I decided to go back up to the 10mg as some of my symptoms were coming back (had started to dissipate after I started the Prozac initially), like the internal tremoring/shaking, and the depression was worsening (my brain seemed to be making things up that rationally I know are not real or true but nevertheless were becoming intrusive thoughts, making the depression and suicidal ideation worse). The mornings when I woke up (usually around 3) were becoming more uncomfortable again. I figured bumping up again to 10mg since it was in my system longer this time would help. Now all the symptoms are increasing again in intensity. The internal vibrations are really bad and last most of the day if I am not moving and I can even see shaking in my hands sometimes now. When I wake up, around 2 or 3 now, I have the tremoring really bad and cant shake it off. I try to go back to sleep and just toss and turn every few minutes to a difference side, and each time I do its like a spike of adrenaline goes through my body.

[ChessieCat]

8 hours ago, CareBear said:

Q:  How often are you taking lorazepam now?

I have only been taking it when I feel a full-blown panic attack coming on or feel like my brain is spiraling out of control and I cant even control my thoughts. I try so hard not to take it cause I know the possible consequences.

 

We need to know specifically when you have taken it.

[CareBear]

Last Fri night I woke up out of a sleep in a panic attach and took half a .5 - then took one half again in the morning, then the next day I took one .5 - I think that was it. Before that I had not taken one since 11/12 - I feel like I am getting restless leg syndrome as well, espically in the mornings (2 or 3 am) when I wake up and am trying to go back to sleep.

[Sottana]

Hi Care. Similar age and med history to you. Just letting you know you aren’t alone. All the best. 

[Altostrata]

On 12/15/2020 at 6:22 AM, CareBear said:

Now all the symptoms are increasing again in intensity

 

What times of day do you take your drugs, and how do you feel before and after taking them? Could you do this: Keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

[brassmonkey]

I copied this here from your PM. It is best to keep all your information in one place and a lot of other members are interested in working out the calculations too.

 

It can get pretty confusing when all the different numbers get flying around, but we can get this sorted pretty easily. The first thing will be to get you taking a consistent dose of the Fluoxetine. To calculate the weight for that dose I will need the average weight on a whole tablet. We usually use ten tablets to determine the average weight. 

 

I'll also need to know the strength of those tablets as listed on the bottle and the strength of the dose you are currently taking. From there we can work out the weight you need to measure on the scales to get the dose you want.

 

 

[brassmonkey]

"

10 tablets

.126

.120

.124

.127

.125

.124

.128

.128

.128

.122

 

Average of 0.1252g - this is where I am getting confused. It says g on the scale, which I am assuming to be grams, and my pills say 10mg on the bottle, but 10mg is only .01 gram"

 

Again I've copied this from your PM so you can have all the information here where it will be easy to find.

 

The dose weight you are looking for is 0.094mg for a dose strength of 7.5mg.

 

Yes, you scale is set to read in grams. It actually does not have a milligram setting, rather it is all in the readout. The screen will show 0.000g when there is nothing on it. The number to the left of the decimal point is for full grams (0.). The numbers to the right of the decimal point are for decigrams (0.0), centigrams (0.00) and milligrams (0.000). For ease of use they are almost always referred to as milligrams, so 0.123g is called 123 milligrams or 123 mg.

 

The 10 mg listed on the bottle refers to the strength of the pills. Each pill contains 10 mg of Active Ingredient, or 10 mgai.

 

As you discovered your average pill weighs 125mg and is referred to as 125 milligrams pill weight or 125mgpw. This is because the manufacturers have added 115mg of filler material to make the pills big enough to handle easily. This is going to be a little different from manufacturer to manufacturer and medication to medication.

 

When we talk about our dose we are talking about the strength (10mgai). When we measure out the dose so we can take it we use the equivalent pill weight. So in this case to get a dose of 10mgai you take a pill that weighs 125mgpw. And you thought the g reading on the scales was confusing, LOL. don't worry with a little practice it will all make sense.

 

Your other PM said you are trying to take a dose that is 7.5mgai in strength. Using a pill cutter will get you close, but we can do a lot better using the scales. This is a very easy calculation to make because the pill strength is 10mgai. 

 

125 X .75 = 94 

 

So the weight of the material on the scale needs to read 0.094 on the display.

 

I find it easiest to crush one or two of the pills and weigh out just enough of the powder to get the dose weight and put that into an empty gel cap. Then save the rest for the next time. By starting to use the scales and getting a more consistent dose this qualifies as a "dose change event" so you will need to stay at this level for several weeks to let things stabilize before you try to taper any more.

[CareBear]

• @brassmonkeyThank you - that does help. I did crush up a couple of pills, however there is a blue coating on the outside and is distinguishable even when crushed from the rest of the pill material. Does this matter?

@Altostrata @ChessieCat @manymoretodays

What times of day do you take your drugs - around 5pm 

and how do you feel before and after taking them - I don’t feel any different - If I take the lorazepam "as needed" I do feel calmer in about 30 min to an hour, but I try very hard not to take them. I will keep a 24-hour log tomorrow. I took .25mg lorazepam yesterday morning when I woke up. Yesterday I started a group "intensive outpatient" therapy at a mental health facility. I will say that I am willing and will be going back, however was a bit disappointed with it, especially with how much I had to pay. It is nice to be in a group setting, however it did not seem like we did very much in the 3 hours. I was pulled away to speak with the psychiatrist who I was appointed as part of the program (already have a nurse practitioner I go to at a behavioral clinic who I don’t particularly like but will say is leaps and bounds above this man). He did not show up, so we did our introduction via telehealth. We talked for about 7 minutes and he said everything wrong possible. That you can’t withdraw from SSRI's cause they are not habit forming, that my internal tremors that started right after I got off the meds and have not stopped since had nothing to do with getting off the meds and just gave me a few options for more/other or additional meds. The only thing I think may have had some validity, and that is because I was thinking it anyway, was that since my inter shaking is not going away on the Prozac, to perhaps try going back on to Paxil. He said there would be no need for a cross taper and just to switch (cause they are both SSRI's), which did not sound right to me. Or if I should just try to keep increasing the Fluoxetine slowly. I am in the throes of depression, agoraphobia, and anxiety of having more panic attacks, but I know the biggest problem for me is the inner shaking that won’t go away and is affecting my sleep so badly. 2 nights ago, I got 2 hours of sleep. Last night I did get 4. Any thoughts would be appreciated.  

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Hi CareBear,

 

3 hours ago, CareBear said:

• @brassmonkeyThank you - that does help. I did crush up a couple of pills, however there is a blue coating on the outside and is distinguishable even when crushed from the rest of the pill material. Does this matter?

@Altostrata @ChessieCat @manymoretodays

What times of day do you take your drugs - around 5pm 

and how do you feel before and after taking them - I don’t feel any different - If I take the lorazepam "as needed" I do feel calmer in about 30 min to an hour, but I try very hard not to take them. I will keep a 24-hour log tomorrow. I took .25mg lorazepam yesterday morning when I woke up. Yesterday I started a group "intensive outpatient" therapy at a mental health facility. I will say that I am willing and will be going back, however was a bit disappointed with it, especially with how much I had to pay. It is nice to be in a group setting, however it did not seem like we did very much in the 3 hours. I was pulled away to speak with the psychiatrist who I was appointed as part of the program (already have a nurse practitioner I go to at a behavioral clinic who I don’t particularly like but will say is leaps and bounds above this man). He did not show up, so we did our introduction via telehealth. We talked for about 7 minutes and he said everything wrong possible. That you can’t withdraw from SSRI's cause they are not habit forming, that my internal tremors that started right after I got off the meds and have not stopped since had nothing to do with getting off the meds and just gave me a few options for more/other or additional meds. The only thing I think may have had some validity, and that is because I was thinking it anyway, was that since my inter shaking is not going away on the Prozac, to perhaps try going back on to Paxil. He said there would be no need for a cross taper and just to switch (cause they are both SSRI's), which did not sound right to me. Or if I should just try to keep increasing the Fluoxetine slowly. I am in the throes of depression, agoraphobia, and anxiety of having more panic attacks, but I know the biggest problem for me is the inner shaking that won’t go away and is affecting my sleep so badly. 2 nights ago, I got 2 hours of sleep. Last night I did get 4. Any thoughts would be appreciated.  

 

 

 

That indeed, does put you in a tough spot.  And yes, give a good try with the Notes/24 log/daily drug and symptom diary.  With the times on the left and then everything else on the right.  Take a look at the simple list format link, that Alto gave you a few posts up.  And then post a 24 hour segment as soon, as possible

 

I think, personally, it's going to be a bit longer until we can tell if the current updose is helpful/ effective.  And I'm so hoping it helps with present symptoms.  And you are just getting some accuracy going in your dose measurements, as well.  Has it been 10 days now since sitting consistently on the 7.5 mg dose, taken at the same time everyday?

 

It sounds like you are just adjusting to this program, and that it might offer some positives along the way.  I think if they work on lot's of coping skills, non-drug coping......it could be beneficial.  Yet I'm doubtful, of course, that they will understand protracted WD syndrome.  And I don't know, if now is a great time to try to show articles, and give references to your doctor or team.  If you want some, let us know.  We have many on site now.

I'm hoping like you, that you will get the benefit of community, and learning some new skills, and hopefully have a positive experience.  Even just getting out of the house now, might help.  Keep us posted how it is going.

Is is something you could pull out of, if you need to, with a refund? 

 

I can give you some of the links to helpful non-drug coping now, for some of your more prominent WD symptoms:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

this ^ will give you a whole indexed list of more, too

 

*Sudden fear, terror, panic, anxiety, or sensory overload from withdrawal
Easing your way into meditation for a stressed out nervous system

Relaxation exercises, guided meditations, calming videos, sleep hypnosis

 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

Early morning waking-managing the morning cortisol spike

 

*Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

And okay, CareBear, how can you go wrong with a user name like that?  And keep checking back, if any other responses.  We'll be looking for your Notes posted too.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited December 31, 2020 by manymoretodays

[brassmonkey]

If the blue coating grinds up into a powder and mixes well with the rest of the powder there shouldn't be a problem. If it stays in big plastic like hunks then it can throw off the dose weight. In that case I would try to pick out as much as I could.

[CareBear]

@Altostrata @manymoretodays @ChessieCat

 

It has now been 4 months since I went CT from 10 mg of paroxetine and 2 months since I started the Fluoxetine - varying doses. Some physical symptoms went away when I started the fluoxetine, like the nausea was less, but is still there almost every morning, the stomach aches and diarrhea and am able to eat (I dont eat a lot though), but outside of that my internal shaking is not going away, which exacerbates the insomnia and the depression and anxiety, while better for about a week at the beginning are not getting better and feel are getting worse. 

 

I dont know what to do. If I reinstate the paroxetine, do I cross taper or switch right to it? If cross taper, by how much and for how long? Is it too late? Am I going to kindle?

 

I have read all the posts you guys have made about reinstating and I am just stuck - I dont want to wait too long but dont want to get worse cause I dont think worse is an option for me at this point.     

[Altostrata]

I would not reinstate paroxetine. It will always be hard to quit. Four months of post-acute withdrawal after cold turkey is not a very long time.

 

Are the effects you feel from 7.5mg fluoxetine any different from 10mg?

[CareBear]

@AltostrataI cant tell if they make me better or worse going to the 10mg - should I maybe try going up to 8mg?

 

@brassmonkey @Altostrata Below is what the pills look like when crushed up. Is the blue coating too big? Should I look into asking my doc for liquid fluoxetine? If so, isnt there a chance I could get worse trying to change to the liquid form?

[brassmonkey]

Try grinding a bit finer and then mixing the blue coating in so it is more evenly distributed and there shouldn't be a problem.

[Altostrata]

Your fluoxetine is in a tablet rather than a capsule?

 

If you're not feeling any different at 7.5mg than 10mg, I'd stay at 7.5mg.

 

You may want to take fluoxetine in the early part of the day, rather than evening. You might move it earlier by an hour each day until you're taking it in the morning. Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if Prozac is affecting your sleep.

[brassmonkey]

We really need to see those daily symptom notes before we can recommend anything. Four months or more to stabilize is pretty common, so I wouldn't rush things.