DaBro 2 years, not 2 weeks Pfizer, but finally healed

[DaBro]

It’s time for me to write this. I’ve wanted to write it for a while and have often come close in the last few months, only to be hit with another short 1-2 day long wave.

It’s been 2.5 years since I took my last dose of Sertraline and I am happy to say that after 2 years of horrible insomnia and the plethora of other physical and emotional WD symptoms we have to endure, I’ve slept well for 3 months straight and aside from minor tremors, tingling hands and what I can only describe as moderate nerve pain in my head 1 hour before bed and 1 hour after waking I feel pretty normal. I smile, I laugh, I cry. I enjoy the moment instead of living in an anxious world wondering if I will ever feel normal again.

 

My story starts in early 2016. After a normal and happy life, I had a number of significant life challenges thrown at me in a very short period. I became anxious about my health and issues in work and sleep started to elude me. Eventually I became anxious about my sleep and we all know that makes sleep worse. Somehow I managed to keep going for 6 months on virtually no sleep before I blew a fuse and ended up off work, in bed with a prescription for Zoloft/Sertraline.

 

I still remember my first dose. It made me feel much worse and made me not sleep at all. I was back at the doctor 2 or 3 times saying that this couldn’t be right and wondering if I’d ever sleep again. After about a month, the side effects subsided and sleep resumed, though I still felt very tired all the time and would often need a time out during the day and in the evening I would just curl up in a chair as talking to people, even my family, was too much for me.

 

This went on for 2 years with some, but limited improvement. I was really questioning why I still felt so tired? Was it the Sertraline, was it that I was still in the job which had been part of the cause of my condition or had not sleeping for so long damaged my brain permanently? I had to do something and the smartest place to start seemed to be to stop the Sertraline. I didn’t like feeling reliant on a drug anyway and 2 years had passed and my sleep was good. At the time I was on 25mg and had been for several months.  My GP said at that small of a dose it probably wasn’t doing anything anyway and was just a placebo and that I could just stop taking it. I ended up splitting tablets with my nails ‘roughly’ into quarters and had a couple of weeks at 12.5mg, then went to zero on November 1^st 2018, so that I would be over the alleged 2 weeks ‘self limiting’ withdrawal effects well before Christmas.

 

I remember immediately feeling sharper. The emotional numbing effect of the drug had gone and I felt great for a week. Perhaps this was my new beginning. Then about 1 week after stopping I had my first brain zap. I remember it well. I was driving and I felt something building in my head, right in the middle of my brain. The jolt was so strong I remember it to this day. It scared me. I didn’t know at the time but I was to have brain zaps, ripples & electric waves in my head for almost 2 years.

My WD symptoms got worse over the first year. First was the insomnia. I hated that that had returned and considered going back on the Sertraline, but I chose to persevere. Then the nausea and fatigue got worse. I was excusing myself from social events and having tactical timeouts in advance of important events. My work suffered and I started being managed out of my job. What was going on?

 

It was about this time that my wife discovered this website and I started reading stories and realised what was happening. I searched the recovery stories to figure out if I would recover and how long it would take. I’m sure we all have done that. My initial hope was 12-18 months.

 

At 9 months post zero I left my job. For a month I felt reasonably OK but at 10 months I started feeling worse and worse. By month 12 I was bedridden, sweating, nauseous and emotionally very low. I’d get 1-5 day windows but waves lasted weeks. The worst one was around 10 weeks long at around 15 months post zero.

 

I’d say my symptoms changed over time. Initially they were fatigue and nausea, this moved to sweating and tingling, then emotional with many flashbacks and much self-criticism and finally more nervous with tremors, shakes and voice loss. Tinnitus and Insomnia were present throughout, especially waking in the middle of the night for 2-3 hours.

 

At 18 months things started to improve. My wife saw me laugh for the first time in ages, my kids said I was better company, I remember being able to cry again, I stopped being so self-absorbed and started being interested in others and the surroundings.

At 2 years I started working again. That was tough, but over 3 months I got back to being able to work a full week.

At 27 months I stopped taking Sleep aids and I’ve now gone over 100 days with good sleep.

It’s now 30 months and the only thing I get is the odd tremor and head pain an hour before bed and an hour after waking. I can manage that and know it goes in an hour or so, though I suspect it may be a while.

 

My tips are the same as everyone else’s:

• Be kind to yourself
• Accept your situation, stop looking for answers
• There’s no magic cure with diet, supplements or re-instatement
• Walk a lot  
• Appreciate those who support you

 

Finally a big thank you to all those who have provided help to me through chats on this forum or privately, to the administrators and to Alto for creating this forum back in the day. I wish you all patience and success in your WD journeys.

 

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ADMIN NOTE DaBro's Introductions topic is here:

 

 

?> Edited May 3, 2021 by Altostrata
added admin note

[Altostrata]

Very good to hear, @DaBro. Thanks so much for adding your success story here.

[Phoenixmama]

Thanks for sharing your good news @DaBro success stories are what I’m surviving off of ❤️

[woody1981]

@DaBro Congrats mate,

 

Cheers for sharing your journey. These success stories keep me going and I’m sure it helps every one who reads them. 

[Hanna72]

@DaBro

Congratulations 👏 So happy for you. There is no stopping you now after surviving this, you can do anything.

All the best to you 🙏

[christianjw12]

Congratulations @DaBro,

This is the beginning of a new life free of drugs and withdrawal. I celebrated one year off Lexapro just a few days ago but still in the withdrawal loop but I feel like I'm close to the end of the tunnel as well.

[Malon]

Congratulations and thank you for you sharing. Thats interesting I stopped the medication for same reason as you "why the hell I am so tired".
Also, my first week after 0 was great but then the misery begun. I have some of the same smyptoms you had.
E.g. Fatigue, partly extreme and sweating without reason. Recently, I had a severe wave at month 23 after zero and I am now in a window and it feels good, I feel alive and spiritually connected.
I know maybe its just a windows, but it gives me hope.

 

[mva96]

Heartfelt congratulations Dabro! I've been following your topic and admire you general attitude and perseverance. 

[DaBro]

4 hours ago, Malon said:

Congratulations and thank you for you sharing. Thats interesting I stopped the medication for same reason as you "why the hell I am so tired".
Also, my first week after 0 was great but then the misery begun. I have some of the same smyptoms you had.
E.g. Fatigue, partly extreme and sweating without reason. Recently, I had a severe wave at month 23 after zero and I am now in a window and it feels good, I feel alive and spiritually connected.
I know maybe its just a windows, but it gives me hope.

 

 

My last big wave was month 23-24. After that it was 1 or 2 days week and reduced intensity. I could see light at the end of the tunnel at 24 months. I wish the same for you. 

[VivaLaVida]

"I didn’t know at the time but I was to have brain zaps, ripples & electric waves in my head for almost 2 years."

 

Wow. I haven't really read about anyone speaking about "brain zaps" lasting this long! I have been battling brain zaps for 7 months... several times a minute sometimes. Definitely on a daily basis and it is maddening. How did you keep going when they were at their worst?? Did you ever have trouble breathing when they were happening? What about headaches?

 

I rang my dr yesterday to tell him about the zaps and told him it has been 7 months... his only reply "that's a long time!"...

 

I have been working the last 7 months (with a few breaks here and there), but really considering taking the next year off work because I am barely managing with the "zap"... I am so glad someone is finally talking about them lasting this long!! I am so sorry you had to go through that. 

[VivaLaVida]

On 5/3/2021 at 5:18 AM, DaBro said:

I enjoy the moment instead of living in an anxious world wondering if I will ever feel normal again.

Thank you for writing this. I know exactly how this feels. 

[Madeleine]

Congratulations!  How did you stave off depression? What sleep aids did you use abs how did you taper those? 

[Sleepless]

Congratulations!

[DaBro]

12 hours ago, Madeleine said:

Congratulations!  How did you stave off depression? What sleep aids did you use abs how did you taper those? 

 

Hi @MadeleineFor depression I found the following helpful: This and other FB and SSRI WD websites, remembering who I used to be and will be again, long baths with oils, headspace meditation, tiny Buddha.com, Gynostemma tea and daily walking. 

 

For sleep I have a drawer full of stuff that didn’t work including 5-HTP, Ashagawanda, St Johns wort, Bach’s, GABA, Valerin, CBD oil, melatonin, Vit B. I settled on acceptance, my kindle and cat, Magnesium Glycinate, Lavendar Oil and occasionally Nytol/Tylenol PM. No silver bullet on sleeping I’m afraid. Towards the end, Insomnia came at the end of waves and in fairly predictable blocks of 2-3 days before windows. 

[DaBro]

On 5/5/2021 at 5:14 PM, VivaLaVida said:

Did you ever have trouble breathing when they were happening? What about headaches?

 

My zaps were a bit random to start with, but after a few months they tended to happen in the evening. They  started with a thick headache/hole in my brain type sensation and tinnitus/whistling which grew in intensity eventually to a sharp zap which normally caused my head to jolt. Then the tinnitus stopped and the headache went away until the next day. 

 

The location of the zaps moved moved from the centre to the top, then the left and finally the front of my brain over the 2 years. 

 

I found drinking sparkling water and eating apples brought the zaps on, so I often did that to get it over with. Go figure?!?

 

They ended up being like an old friend though I don’t miss them. I treated them as bits of brain coming back on line - healing. They were a breeze compared to the Insomnia. 

[VivaLaVida]

3 hours ago, DaBro said:

They  started with a thick headache/hole in my brain type sensation and tinnitus/whistling which grew in intensity eventually to a sharp zap which normally caused my head to jolt.

Oh wow, that sounds strong! I never had a "strong" zap, just mini jolts (which happen every few seconds...) behind my eyes mostly for the first few months, but now they have moved to the top of my head mostly and are more of a "swoosh" than a jolt...so strange. I find them very unnerving because of how frequent they are, and because...well, it's in the brain! 

 

I'm so glad you've over that. I will definitely try looking at them as "healing" as well. Thanks :).

[Cocopuffz17]

Congrats  Glad to read your success! I am so glad to read that your wife stood by you through the hell you went through. She is a strong lady! You are very strong as well! 

[Kush]

Congratulations !!! And happy healing!!!

[Sheera]

Beautiful story ❤️

[HealthHopeHappiness]

So pleased to read this update @DaBro. You have been through a horrific time and you so deserve some peace and contentment. You were always so kind in taking the time to reply to me and your words brought me such comfort - thank you. 

[Jayy]

On 5/3/2021 at 8:49 PM, Phoenixmama said:

Thanks for sharing your good news @DaBro success stories are what I’m surviving off of ❤️

How is withdrawal? I took pristiq for about a month the cold turkey.  My ears haven't stopped ringing after 3 months since day 0 

[DaBro]

5 hours ago, Jayy said:

How is withdrawal? I took pristiq for about a month the cold turkey.  My ears haven't stopped ringing after 3 months since day 0 

 

Still ringing occasionally after 2 years. You get to ignore it. 

[Jayy]

8 hours ago, DaBro said:

 

Still ringing occasionally after 2 years. You get to ignore it. 

That is the worst possible thing I can hear. I took 50 mg Pristiq for maybe 4 weeks total, and now I have to deal with a high pitched ringing sound in my head for the rest of my life. I already hate my life, and now it is a complete misery to be awake and every trying to sleep is a terrifying thing hearing my brain buzzing even after I quit that terrible SNRI and no one can even help me. God damnit. 

[Greatful]

@DaBroCongrats on crossing over the finish line.  Thank you for writing you success story and giving hope to the rest of us.

 

I also so have horrible brain buzzing, burning and electrical currents that tingle around my brain.  Sometimes it feels like someone is trying to shove a peg through the top of my head, or a vice grip squeezing my both sides of my skull at my temples.  Sore areas that move around my brain.  I have had these since last summer when I started to taper Prozac and they got worse when I went into WD.  This goes on everyday most of the day.  Comes and goes in intensity.  It can make me dizzy and my thinking feels disconnected and slow.   Like  @VivaLaVida says, it is good to hear someone else has brain sensations.  It is good to know that if your brain can heal from this then mine can to☺️

[DaBro]

Hang in there @Greatful  it’s nerve healing, I’m convinced. It gets better. 

[Cruizer]

Thanks for posting Dabro. And congratulations on your healing and recovery. I too am on Zoloft and have been since 2009. Have come down a long way to 4.5mg but went from 17 to 4.5 too aggressively. Have been struggling for around 15 months now and the more constant symptom I get is the head pressure in the side of my head like a vice grip. I also found I get a lot of sinus pain over my right eye. This symptoms are lessening a bit in recent weeks but make it very tough to think clearly and concentrate at all. Again, thanks for posting your success, it is a beacon of hope for a lot of us still suffering. 

[DaBro]

10 hours ago, Cruizer said:

Thanks for posting Dabro. And congratulations on your healing and recovery. I too am on Zoloft and have been since 2009. Have come down a long way to 4.5mg but went from 17 to 4.5 too aggressively. Have been struggling for around 15 months now and the more constant symptom I get is the head pressure in the side of my head like a vice grip. I also found I get a lot of sinus pain over my right eye. This symptoms are lessening a bit in recent weeks but make it very tough to think clearly and concentrate at all. Again, thanks for posting your success, it is a beacon of hope for a lot of us still suffering. 

 

Sounds familiar @Cruizer  I have no magic answers. I had to lie down and mentally switch off when the eye pain came, normally for 2 hours or so. Left eye and left temple for me.

 

Sparkling water and apples seemed to make it more intense but shorter and Magnesium Glycinate helped with sleep but I totally get the head squeezed feeling thing and no doctor or psych could explain it.

 

I had it (head pressure) when I was on Zoloft (possibly from my 50 to 25 reduction) and it was one of the drivers to make me quit the drug.

 

Wishing you fast healing. 

[Rusty1]

3 hours ago, DaBro said:

 

Sounds familiar @Cruizer  I have no magic answers. I had to lie down and mentally switch off when the eye pain came, normally for 2 hours or so. Left eye and left temple for me.

 

Sparkling water and apples seemed to make it more intense but shorter and Magnesium Glycinate helped with sleep but I totally get the head squeezed feeling thing and no doctor or psych could explain it.

 

I had it (head pressure) when I was on Zoloft (possibly from my 50 to 25 reduction) and it was one of the drivers to make me quit the drug.

 

Wishing you fast healing. 

Very interesting that you two report sinus pain over the eye. I get sinus headaches behind my left eye now that are quite debilitating, even make me very nauseous.

 

I have not looked into it to see if it is a typical allergy headache or a typical symptom of withdrawal.

I do know my allergies got way worse once I started withdrawing...well about half way through. The last couple years they have made improvements as my body has felt more stable.

[Cruizer]

3 minutes ago, Rusty1 said:

Very interesting that you two report sinus pain over the eye. I get sinus headaches behind my left eye now that are quite debilitating, even make me very nauseous.

 

I have not looked into it to see if it is a typical allergy headache or a typical symptom of withdrawal.

I do know my allergies got way worse once I started withdrawing...well about half way through. The last couple years they have made improvements as my body has felt more stable.

Hi Rusty, yep the sinus thing I have found some others speak about too. Not sure why this happens but seems to be common. I find if I don't drink enough water it can flare up a bit. I have tried inhaling steam with a bit of peppermint to be somewhat helpful. For me I still float between whether the 4.5mg dose of zoloft is causing some of my problems or whether it is still the fast taper from 10-4.5mg over 10 weeks. I have been holding for 15 months now and still having considerable issues/waves. I also had these feelings when I was on higher doses although without the head pressure. 

[DaBro]

For me, as waves have decreased in intensity and frequency I get fairly predictable cycles of symptoms. The pressure behind my eye is accompanied with tinnitus, partial closing of my left eye, throbbing in my head, tingling fingers and the nausea/fatigue you all describe. It’s not an allergy thing for me. 

 

Its actually happening to me to me right now, but I know it should go about 1 hour after I have my breakfast and take a walk and hopefully I’ll get a few weeks before the next episode which is so much better than the middle of WD when it would persist for weeks and was completely debilitating. 

[GeoJeep]

Hi, I’ve just been browsing around various threads, and I believe you mentioned elsewhere that some of the symptoms you dealt with were PSSD and anhedonia. Can you explain a bit about your experience with these symptoms and what your recovery looked like?

 

I don’t think I have PSSD, but I’ve had some pretty severe anhedonia for months, and I’m very scared that my emotions won’t return.

[DaBro]

PSSD was pretty short lived for me, around 2-3 weeks in all. It was just another step in the symptom journey. 

 

Anhedonia was worse and longer, I’d say over a year. I’d put emotions into context (it’s WD not really me), I did a lot of walking listening to podcasts (not about WD or SSRI’s) and my wife was supportive and would walk with me every evening. 

 

It goes. Be patient and kind. Remind yourself it’s the brain healing and recalibrating. 

 

Actually having a seminal moment today. It’s 1020 days since my last dose. I found my Sertraline while packing for holiday and I’m watching it burn in my garden right now. I put some old engine oil on it to get it going nicely. Very therapeutic. 

 

You’ll heal. 

[David95790]

Did you find diet to help at all in recovery? Did you also notice certain foods was causing certain symtoms?

[DaBro]

On 9/8/2021 at 10:36 PM, David95790 said:

Did you find diet to help at all in recovery? Did you also notice certain foods was causing certain symtoms?

i tried a few different diets (Leto, vegetarian) and noticed no impact from changing diet. The only thing I found was that some seafood dairy and apples triggered or enhanced head sensations. I figured it was probably related to salts (Mg, Na) in those foods. Enjoy your food!

[Kate2301]

Hello dabro!

I hope you are well, I want to thank you for taking time to post your progress, I’m sure you can remember how hard it once was and how much encouraging words help!

 

ive read over and over your posts, it’s like a comfort blanket when your feeling the worst of it!

 

I just wanted to ask if you think my situation is WD.

 

i CT off sertraline last year after 8 weeks of hell on it, I was put on it after worrying about Covid, (I’d just had a baby) over the phone I was prescribed 100mg of sert and I thought I was going to die, was told to quit so I did! 4 months later I was dieing or that’s what it felt like, no sleep, no eating, couldn’t think straight couldn’t stand talk nothing! No I know that was WD from CT sertraline! They put me on mirt, it made me eat but everything else was still terrible, anyway I tapered quickly over 4 months and I’m 14 weeks off them! I feel better then I did when on them but I’m experiencing moments where I feel ok but then 10 mins later I have a panicky brain, feel sick and ruminating thoughts then it will go again?! It’s like this all day and then tend to feel a bit better in the evening. Can this be WD or is this now me? I’ve had no issues until I was put on AD ever before! It’s scares the hell out of me, I’ve been like this since starting sert which will be 2 years in March and although I feel better I still feel terrible if u know what I mean 

[DaBro]

Hi @Kate2301    
 

sounds like WD to me. The symptoms sound familiar to me. I recall being generally better in the evenings and the unhelpful rumination coming and going - I still get that now after 3 years. 
 

100mg is pretty hefty. I’ve seen the brain gets saturated with Sertraline at 15-20mg and 50 is a usual starting dose. I was on 25 most of the 2 years I was on. 
 

Glad the story helps. That was the intent, plus it’s a release to write it. 3 years post zero I’m feeling pretty good and like my old self. You will too.