☼ NardilTime: desperate for guidance

[NardilTime]

Got it! Loud and clear… 😀

[ChessieCat]

12 hours ago, NardilTime said:

Or do we think that, for instance, exercising real hard so I end up in bed for three days is actually harmful?

 

All this would do is stress your body more.  And when your body is stressed then it slows recovery because your body is busy trying to deal with the stress and keep you safe/alive.  If you aren't alive then the recovery is wasted.

 

I suggest you check out the following video.

 

Please note that I am not posting this with regards to detoxing but it is about how stress affects the body:

 

STRESS

 

Quote from the video:

 

any time that you have a stress response you're  going to decrease repair so basically you can  

defend yourself or you can repair stuff but you can't do both at the same time

 

This is a video about liver detox but the part that I would like to you to watch, and this is where the link begins, is the explanation about stress and the body:

 

Sten Ekberg:  #1 Absolute Best FATTY LIVER DETOX

[jon1]

On 7/25/2022 at 4:04 AM, NardilTime said:

Hello everyone and @Altostrata. Question for the group. I keep getting sick, especially if I exert myself. Fevers that are pretty extreme but dissipate quickly. Then a sore throat and nasal stuff. It has happened three times since I got off the pills. Before that it had been 20 years since I had a fever. Anybody else experiencing this? Thanks! 

I know you posted this a while ago, but I can definitely identify with it!

 

I have periods where I have a constant feeling of ‘coming in down with something’. Like flu without the runny nose, but often with post nasal drip. I wouldn’t say I get a fever, but I can wake up in the early hours feeling extremely hot and sweaty (not in the good way).

 

I did wonder whether it was a virus, but with every taper I did I’d get these symptoms too. Like clockwork each time I reduced my dose, but then it would only last a day or two. So I guess it could be after stopping completely the symptom is much stronger.

 

I did read that SSRI’s are based on antihistamines? If that’s the case, then it could be possible that it’s a form of allergic reaction, just on a bigger scale?

 

On 10/25/2022 at 6:24 PM, NardilTime said:

Or do we think that, for instance, exercising real hard so I end up in bed for three days is actually harmful? I don’t know how we could possibly test this but nonetheless I am curious as to everyone’s opinion. 

 

I’ve worked out happily, three times a week, for years. Then earlier this year, around 4 months after finishing my drug (Lexapro) completely, my energy levels fell off a cliff. I also found when I did exercise it would give me insomnia for a couple of nights, and make me extremely irritable and angry at everyone and everything.

 

Since then I’ve taken breaks, then gone back to the gym after a rest, but the result is always the same. The most recent time was yesterday, and I’m feeling it today! It’s frustrating as I wasn’t doing anything new, it’s just my body can’t cope with what I used to do anymore. My energy levels seems to have improved, but my body screams at me afterwards.

 

One thing I’ve found out I can do without to much in the way of symptoms, is use exercise bands instead of weights. I still ‘lift’ quite heavy, but there must be something in using bands that’s less taxing on the body. So I don’t know if that would help you?

 

That does help the exercise side of things to some extent, but I miss actually getting out of the house and the routine of going to the gym.

 

The withdrawal process feels like being run over by a car. Which then reverses back over you. Then when you try to get up you get hit by another car, and so on…

 

 

[NardilTime]

Hello everyone - question regarding medications. I have high blood pressure, probably from all those years on that neurotoxin Effexor. My doctor wants to put me on blood pressure medication. Is that safe to do? I am 14 months clean from Effexor. I desperately don’t want to get akathisia again. I wouldn’t survive. 

[ChessieCat]

SA staff are not medical professionals and do not counsel about general medical conditions.  SA is a site for tapering psychiatric drugs and support for members who have tapered too fast or cold turkeyed their drug.

 

In general it is recommended by SA when trying anything new to start with a low dose to see how you react to it.  Also, only make one change at a time/try one thing at a time.

 

Also be sure to get follow up checks done.

 

If you know the drug name that the doctor will prescribe you could do a search on SA to find other members using that drug.

[Doctorsrcrap]

I think i read another members thread who said they managed to rectify this with exercise and diet. Not sure what diet though. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

Possibly something called a dash diet?

[NardilTime]

13 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

SA staff are not medical professionals and do not counsel about general medical conditions.  SA is a site for tapering psychiatric drugs and support for members who have tapered too fast or cold turkeyed their drug.

 

In general it is recommended by SA when trying anything new to start with a low dose to see how you react to it.  Also, only make one change at a time/try one thing at a time.

 

Also be sure to get follow up checks done.

 

If you know the drug name that the doctor will prescribe you could do a search on SA to find other members using that drug.

Yes I understand. I have seen information in this site that details the interaction of persons in withdrawal with other drugs that may bring back akathisia. For example, antibiotics have been known to cause akathisia recurrence. I’d like to avoid that if possible. 

[NardilTime]

Hello everyone, I thought it was a good time for an update. I continue to see improvement although it is not as fast as I hoped (is it ever?). At 15 months clean one of the biggest changes is that I have gone almost a month without getting the flu-like symptoms. I still get very tired and “sick” but I’m not getting the sore throats and stuffy noses like I was. I’m being very cautious with how much I exercise but continue to test the boundaries to see just how far I can go. I still struggle with intrusive thoughts but they are much improved and I know at this point that they are just chemical. Knowing that makes it so much easier. I can do my best to ignore and know that they will pass. I still struggle with a lot of head, neck, and ear pressure. It’s very annoying and I feel like I am carrying a weight around with me at times, but it’s not unbearable. The hatred and resentment of psychiatry will always be with me, I lost too much to ever forgive them, but it is much reduced. I’m in a healthier place. I’m going to increase my volunteer work to see how much I can handle in the hopes that within the next 3-6 months I can go back to work. Oh, and my sexual functioning seems to come and go. While it isn’t what I remember, I’m also much older so that is a factor. But it is improved and I’m functional again. Hopefully there’s more improvement as time goes on. I just keep telling myself that I’m off the drugs, there is no longer any poison being pumped into me so it’s a matter of time before I make a full recovery (or at least close to it) God willing. 

[NardilTime]

Hello everyone and @Altostrata. Just a quick update. I am 17 months clean from psychiatric drugs. I continue on the waves and windows pattern but just as was predicted on this forum, the waves are becoming much shorter and less in severity while the windows are becoming longer and better. There are now times where I almost feel like I did before these drugs got their hooks in me. The more I improve the more I have to face the reality of what happened to me i.e. the time lost, the years of akathisia torture, the trauma of this nightmare experience. But, on the bright side, without the drugs clouding my mind I’m able to process my emotions and grow psychologically and emotionally. It’s remarkable. I’m shocked at how removing myself from psychiatric care is resulting in precisely what they promised in the first place: I’m becoming a self sufficient adult. Of course I will always be scarred by my experience with these charlatans, but each day I have more hope that I can live the remainder of my life in peace. The anger is still potent, but subsiding. Physically I have the typical range of symptoms, the most annoying of which is the constant muscle and joint pain, but as it recedes I can exercise more. The solution to our problem is relatively simple: get off the drugs, stay off, let the body do it’s thing. Getting there isn’t easy. I’ll check back in soon. Thanks. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

If i could cry I would be in tears for you. Happy of course. I cant wait for you to go on and make a full recovery. 

[Carmie]

Hi NardilTime, 

 

It’s nice to read that you’re slowly improving after cold turkeying. Each small improvement is a step in the right direction. I’m happy for you.
 

I read on another thread how you had found it hard to describe Akathisia. It’s the most torturous thing, isn’t it? It is hard to describe in words. Check the video on YouTube entitled: Akathisia ( A public service announcement ) by Akathisia Alliance for education and research. It’s the closest thing I’ve found of trying to explain it to people who have never gone through withdrawals.

 

Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery 🤗

[NardilTime]

Well, just as was predicted from others who have been through this, I’m far from out of the woods. Another massive wave has hit. It’s so strange how the waves feel similar to the pain I’ve endured in the past, yet they are slightly different. One would think that researchers would be very interested in what is happening to us. Anyways, I’ll continue to tough it out. Hope a window comes soon. On the bright side, the emotional symptoms are very much improved. I seem to be having a largely physical window. I’ll take what I can get. 

[NardilTime]

I seem to be going back and forth. A few days of feeling almost healed and then, when I try to pick up my activity level and rebuild my life I kick off another wave. I’m feeling pretty hopeless. It has been a long time of feeling like this. 

[NardilTime]

Short update: doing better. I’ve been able to pick up my activity level without having debilitating waves. Beginning the process of looking for work. Mornings are still tough (I’ve heard people refer to it as “gunk” and that is very accurate). I seem to shake it off within an hour then have another low period in the early afternoon. Nights are best. I never want them to end. As I get better I have to deal with the lost time. I have a feeling it will haunt me the rest of my life. But otherwise I’m healing. There is hope. 

[NardilTime]

Update. Doing much better. Last major wave was in late January. When I push myself very hard I’ll feel some symptoms but they are not overpowering like they once were. Exercise now helps rather than hurts. I have been able to resume weight lifting. I carry a large amount of anger and resentment for the damage these people have done to my life, and only time will tell if that subsides. Nonetheless, I think I am getting very close to writing a success story but I want to be sure. I am 26 months from the beginning of my taper and 18 months clean from psychiatric drugs. 

[NardilTime]

Update. I am having a wave, but I can’t call it major which actually makes this a positive update. The waves are not stopping me in my tracks anymore. I still have energy even though I have to fight a little harder to move forward. Remains to be seen if it gets worse over the coming days but I’m hopeful. 
 

[NardilTime]

Well, I’m sorry to say that the small wave got worse and turned into a big wave. It’s not the worst I’ve ever been but it sure isn’t easy. I guess even after almost two months of feeling relatively normal these things can turn on you. Very disheartening. Soldier on. 

[NardilTime]

Wave passed a few days ago. Feel very good for the most part, biggest change is that the morning “hangover” is largely gone. I’m naturally waking up earlier every day which is a welcome change. My biggest problem right now is energy levels which are much diminished. I feel like this process has aged me 20 years overnight. Hopefully that improves with time. Waiting for the next wave. Who knows, maybe it doesn’t come? Fingers crossed. 

[NardilTime]

Hello everyone and @Altostrata . I wanted to give a quick update. I’m 20 months clean from psychiatric drugs. It seems as though I’ve largely passed the point where I have spontaneous waves that I didn’t trigger in some way (but who knows what the future holds). Last week I tried to exercise 3 out of 4 days and it was a big mistake. Huge wave, in bed for a day and a half. Oh well, at least I know where I stand. I think I’ve entered the stage that I keep reading about where I’ve made significant gains in recovery but my central nervous system is still fragile. I certainly don’t feel strong and confident at the moment. I feel relieved that I am not in constant pain but at the same time I always feel right on the edge of a wave. I’m hoping that by this time next year I am able to increase my exercise but we’ll see what life brings. 

[Altostrata]

On one hand, it seems you're somewhat stable. On the other, you'll have to be careful about overdoing it. Suggest you gradually build up stamina for exercise, go easy on yourself.

[NardilTime]

Hello everyone and @Altostrata. Very quick update. I have made great progress but in many ways I’ve entered the most frustrating part of my withdrawal/recovery thus far. When I am not active I feel largely normal. But when I actually try to do things I inevitably end up in a wave. And a bad wave. I suffer a lot for days. Hard to know how many years this will continue but it makes it virtually impossible to hold a job. I’ll likely lose my career. I’ll have to come to terms with that. I’ll check back in soon. 

[Chompoo]

@NardilTime so sorry to read your last update. Was your previous job very physically demanding? Maybe you can take on some part time office job for the time being? Many people started back on part-time work or less physically/mentally demanding work when they were recovering. It could be a good way to transition back to working life without getting into waves.

[NardilTime]

Mini-update: I started taking magnesium and fish oil and I have to say I feel more “normal” than I have during this entire process. Could just be a strong window but I definitely feel healthy at the moment. Fingers crossed. 

[Carmie]

Glad that you’re finding magnesium and fish oil to be of benefit @NardilTime. Enjoy your window💛

[NardilTime]

I have to say I’m noticing a real drop in cognition. I’m assuming others have had this problem? Are there ways to reverse it? After previously having a very demanding job I have been unable to work for 2 years. Concentration is extremely difficult. 

[NardilTime]

Update: I have my ups and downs but the last two weeks have seen significant physical improvements. I’ve started doing more physical things like volunteering lifting boxes and the relatively low level exercise really improves how I feel. Walking is very helpful too. I’ve stayed away from anything too strenuous like running or weightlifting but I’ll test that soon. Mentally I sometimes struggle. I worry a lot about my career (still not working), lost opportunities, and the trauma of the past. I think it will be a long time before I can truly feel safe that the akathisia won’t come back. Each morning I wake up and for the first hour or so I wait to see if my body will explode in a cortisol rush. It takes its toll. But overall the trajectory is up. I am definitely healing and I have extended periods of time where I actually feel good. It’s a miracle. Drug-free life is so much easier. It’s a blessing. I’ll check back in soon. 

[Altostrata]

Great news! How far along to recovery do you think you are? 75%?

[NardilTime]

Thanks @Altostrata. It’s so hard to put a number on these things given the “waves and windows” path of recovery. Right now I feel about 95% physically recovered. When I have a wave it feels more like 65% recovered. The last really bad wave was a month ago but I keep coming down with vicious colds which I attribute to some kind of histamine imbalance. I never had this previously. So it’s a mixed bag. But like I said, it’s improving all the time for sure. 

[Altostrata]

Improvement is good. Please let us know how you're doing.

[2cats2272]

@NardilTime wow!! Your journey is very inspiring. I can totally relate to how you’re healing. I was on Effexor for 17 years and have been off for 5 months. I will continue to follow you and cheer you on!!

[NardilTime]

Hello everyone, and @Altostrata. A quick update is in order. I continue to improve. The biggest area of improvement has been how I feel in the morning. I still wake up entirely unsure if I will feel sick or well, and I cautiously get out of bed to see how I’ll feel. Most of the time I feel slightly off but nothing too debilitating. I’m ramping up my activity level to see how far I can push myself and if I go overboard my body lets me know pretty quickly. I get what I’d call mini-waves at this point. Histamine reactions, weird muscle tightness and sensations that can’t be easily described but are familiar to my friends in the AD recovery community. They pass in a few hours if I rest. The last few months have really seen significant improvement but as I improve physically I have to deal with the mental wreckage these drugs have caused. The trauma is significant. I think I will spend the rest of my life coming to terms with it, but I had a decade of adverse effects before I tapered so for others I don’t think it will be as bad. I have moments throughout the day where I sit back and say, my god I can’t believe this has happened. Hopefully in time I’ll be looking into the future instead of the past, but for now I have to let myself grieve the life I’ve lost. I’ll check in again soon. 

[Altostrata]

Good to hear the physical symptoms have improved.

 

On 8/14/2023 at 11:07 AM, NardilTime said:

The trauma is significant. I think I will spend the rest of my life coming to terms with it, but I had a decade of adverse effects before I tapered so for others I don’t think it will be as bad. I have moments throughout the day where I sit back and say, my god I can’t believe this has happened.

 

Well put, for so many of us.

[NardilTime]

Trying to get back into the workforce shows me pretty quickly that while my symptoms are few and manageable when I’m at rest, it’s very different when I’m exerting myself. Causes massive waves. Very disheartening. I’m still not healed enough to try to rebuild my life. It has been 2 years clean. I’m very angry. 

[Altostrata]

Try part-time first?

[NardilTime]

21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Try part-time first?

Looks like it’ll have to be. Applied at a Trader Joe’s and a coffee shop today.