Erimus: my introduction and journal

[getofflex]

Erimus, what about my idea of doing a daily drug and symptom journal?  You may be having adverse reactions to your drugs.  How do you feel after you take your drugs?  What times o'clock do you take your sertraline and mirtazapine?  

 

 

[Erimus]

24 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Erimus, what about my idea of doing a daily drug and symptom journal?  You may be having adverse reactions to your drugs.  How do you feel after you take your drugs?  What times o'clock do you take your sertraline and mirtazapine?  

 

I've done a drug and symptom journal before, but at this point I simply do not feel like it. I know I'm having adverse reactions, and I also know I am having protracted withdrawal. I know you are trying to help.

 

Symptoms reach the worst point between 1500 and 1600 each day. I gathered this was due to sertraline reaching its lowest daily blood plasma concentration, before the drug level increases around 5-6 hours post-ingestion, and symptoms alleviate somewhat.

 

I take mirtazapine at 2100 daily, which brings me great relief as symptoms often improve somewhat around 1 hour post-ingestion. I have always felt the mirtazapine reacted very well with me in comparison to the sertraline, which has caused horrific problems. These improved feelings generally last until around 1000-1100 the next morning when the mirtazapine begins to wear off, and the cycle begins again.

 

When I started the mirtazapine 4 weeks after sertraline I was given the option to swap to it completely. In my fragile and naive state I was still expectant that things were going to get better on sertraline, so I opted to take both. I regret this decision greatly every day.

Edited February 7 by Erimus

[getofflex]

You recently did 2 reductions only a week apart, so this has probably destabilized your nervous system.  Please do put this information in your drug signature. I have cog fog, and I had forgotten about this.  

 

I would wait at least a month or two before attempting another very small reduction. Wait at least a month to see how that affects you before doing another reduction. 

Edited February 7 by getofflex

[peaceandlove]

Sending you love ❤️ hope you have a window of relief soon

[Erimus]

Yesterday, less pain but more restlessness.

 

Today, more pain and some restlessness.

 

Skin on hands is absolutely destroyed. I have eczema like flare-ups from Dec 2020 and June 2021, in various places, that have never gone away. The presence of sertraline and how I react to it has meant my body has never been able to revert to homeostasis since June 2020. Circulation to my feet has been impacted, and they are often purple and stone cold due to lack of blood flow. I have taken pictures of them as evidence of what these drugs are capable of.

[HelenR]

35 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Yesterday, less pain but more restlessness.

 

Today, more pain and some restlessness.

 

Skin on hands is absolutely destroyed. I have eczema like flare-ups from Dec 2020 and June 2021, in various places, that have never gone away. The presence of sertraline and how I react to it has meant my body has never been able to revert to homeostasis since June 2020. Circulation to my feet has been impacted, and they are often purple and stone cold due to lack of blood flow. I have taken pictures of them as evidence of what these drugs are capable of.

@Erimus no doubt you've tried most things for your flare ups of eczema but I had it bad in my hair and on my legs due to lack of nutrients being absorbed as I have gastritis. I have now found by eating a low fat plain natural yogurt and kefir daily it has reduced to a minimal.

We are all reacting differently to these drugs and my eyes have been dreadful lately but I'm definitely getting stronger . I can just about tolerate a vitamin D oral spray at half the recommended dose along with 2 teaspoons of flax seed oil. This has helped my skin but hoping it will help my hair loss situation too.

I'm sorry to hear you're in pain again, if one thing stops briefly it's always taken over by something else isn't it. If my body doesn't hurt then my brain does so it's a no win situation but today has been a better day for me. I managed a trip in the car, although I'm not driving myself yet. I cling into the hope that this window will last .

[Erimus]

Good to hear @HelenR. I wouldn’t even describe what I have as eczema really, they were both unusual reactions to normal household products, but the skin inflammation never went completely away.

 

You might find cod liver oil tolerable and suitable to your needs. You can get really low dose capsules, they contain vitamin D, A, and small amounts of EPA+DHA (omega 3). I’ve been on it for over a year and have just started transitioning to higher strength Fish Oils.

 

I also don’t drive often, due to the pain. Last night was the first time I left my town in over 18 months, which was weird. 

[HelenR]

19 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Good to hear @HelenR. I wouldn’t even describe what I have as eczema really, they were both unusual reactions to normal household products, but the skin inflammation never went completely away.

 

You might find cod liver oil tolerable and suitable to your needs. You can get really low dose capsules, they contain vitamin D, A, and small amounts of EPA+DHA (omega 3). I’ve been on it for over a year and have just started transitioning to higher strength Fish Oils.

 

I also don’t drive often, due to the pain. Last night was the first time I left my town in over 18 months, which was weird. 

@erimus, that's a massive achievement to leave your home town. Last year I had 9 months of being bed bound and only got driven to the odd doctors appts so when I eventually left my village to visit my parents it was a shock to the system. Everything seems alien after a while doesn't it. 

Regards the cod liver oil, unfortunately my stomach can't tolerate cod liver oil. I tried last year but due to it irritating my stomach I had to go over to cold pressed flax seed oil and luckily my stomach can handle that a bit better.

Hang into the fact you drove last night, sometimes it's such an effort to get out but I'm pleased you managed it despite the pain.

 

[peaceandlove]

4 hours ago, Erimus said:

Yesterday, less pain but more restlessness.

 

Today, more pain and some restlessness.

 

Skin on hands is absolutely destroyed. I have eczema like flare-ups from Dec 2020 and June 2021, in various places, that have never gone away. The presence of sertraline and how I react to it has meant my body has never been able to revert to homeostasis since June 2020. Circulation to my feet has been impacted, and they are often purple and stone cold due to lack of blood flow. I have taken pictures of them as evidence of what these drugs are capable of.

Thank you for the advice I’m pretty sure that is not a good idea anyway as people with akathisia are sensitive to everything including medication. I will stick to buckets of ice cold water to calm me down I guess. @Erimus

 

*edit: I meant to respond to the comment you left on my page regarding beta blockers lol oops 

[Erimus]

Severe groin pain in my right leg today. I have hip impingement but it was never a massive problem like it has been the last year. Exactly one year ago I did some painting where I was doing a lot of kneeling for 2-3 days. Since then I have had a muscle strain in my right leg that has never gone away due to the relentless muscle contractions and pain. My left leg is fine, but my right side (which is the side with the hip impingement) has tortured me for a year.

 

I simply cannot continue to live in this much pain. My only option is to begin tapering, and if I cannot tolerate that I will have to try switching to another drug (probably fluoxetine).

 

My body is screaming at me every day that something is severely wrong, and now I must act instead of continuing to ignore its warnings.

[Gonzo]

I'm sorry for all that you are going and went through already, I also took Sertraline, your current dose, 50mg, for too long in fact because of those charlatans and bastards, I stopped it cold turkey years ago and I'm still recovery from the chaos it caused to my life. I really think receiving validation from others can do wonders for recovery. I personally didn't suffer that severe physical symptoms and for that long, but the emotional aspect of the whole process has been devastating for me. I don't have advices to give related to your physical symptoms, but if stopping Sertraline gives you hope of achieving better life conditions go for it, hope is extremely important.

[Erimus]

Still getting severe pain in legs, struggling to walk and even move around the house. It's been like this for a year, so now is the time to act. I've never recovered from the drops to 75mg and 50mg in 2021, but the pain is now too much to continue.

 

Plan to make a cut on Monday, around 0.003gpw (1.9%).

[HelenR]

@ErimusI'm sad to hear you're still in so much pain. Good luck is sent for you. I can't understand why these drugs cause pain where we never had it prior to taking them. 

Maybe you are doing the right thing by starting to reduce on Monday as there doesn't seem to be any other choice for you. I just hope you can continue on your tapering journey but it's going to be hard.

[Erimus]

2024/02/17: 0.1588gpw —> 0.155gpw

 

Average pill weight of twenty 50mg sertraline tablets was 0.1588g.

 

Felt reasonable last night so made 4 weeks worth of tablets.

 

Let’s see what happens. First cut will probably difficult to judge because some of the tablets I weighed were already 0.156gpw, but it’s a good place to start.

[HelenR]

5 hours ago, Erimus said:

2024/02/17: 0.1588gpw —> 0.155gpw

 

Average pill weight of twenty 50mg sertraline tablets was 0.1588g.

 

Felt reasonable last night so made 4 weeks worth of tablets.

 

Let’s see what happens. First cut will probably difficult to judge because some of the tablets I weighed were already 0.156gpw, but it’s a good place to start.

@Erimus I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you !

[Erimus]

I'm finding the frustration of not being able to do things hard to manage at the moment. My mind is ready to be stimulated and used, and I have all sorts of things I want to do, but physically I am not able to fulfill these demands.

 

A year ago I had no interest in doing anything, so it's an improvement, but I can't satisfy my mind's desires.

[Erimus]

Severe pain in my legs and hip/groin again today, I seem to be in the midst of a really horrific wave of pain. I keep a rough diary where I input on really bad days, and the number of entries over the past few weeks is very high.

[HelenR]

1 hour ago, Erimus said:

Severe pain in my legs and hip/groin again today, I seem to be in the midst of a really horrific wave of pain. I keep a rough diary where I input on really bad days, and the number of entries over the past few weeks is very high.

 

1 hour ago, Erimus said:

Severe pain in my legs and hip/groin again today, I seem to be in the midst of a really horrific wave of pain. I keep a rough diary where I input on really bad days, and the number of entries over the past few weeks is very high.

@Erimus is the pain definitely from SSRIs or could this be from another source such as fibromyalgia? 

[Erimus]

4 minutes ago, HelenR said:

 

@Erimus is the pain definitely from SSRIs or could this be from another source such as fibromyalgia? 

Well, you could say the SSRI has caused fibromyalgia-like symptoms. There is no test for fibromyalgia, it’s just what they diagnose you with when they have no explanation for the pain. Same with chronic fatigue syndrome/ME. It’s just what they brandish you when they’ve given up on solutions. I don’t buy into any of that.

 

I was told in July/August 2020 that I had post-viral fatigue syndrome, I bought into it because we were in a pandemic. Turns out I didn’t have it, anxiety had taken over my mind and I’d convinced myself I had several terrible conditions like ME and Vestibular Migraines. Then came the adverse reaction to sertraline, but I kept taking it because of all the “worse before better” nonsense.

 

Fast forward to now, mentally I feel the best I’ve been in over 3.5 years. Physically, I’m crippled. I know it’s sertraline, and I also know I can’t just cold-turkey it. I fight the urge to bin it most days, it’s funny what chronic pain does to a person.

[HelenR]

48 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Well, you could say the SSRI has caused fibromyalgia-like symptoms. There is no test for fibromyalgia, it’s just what they diagnose you with when they have no explanation for the pain. Same with chronic fatigue syndrome/ME. It’s just what they brandish you when they’ve given up on solutions. I don’t buy into any of that.

 

I was told in July/August 2020 that I had post-viral fatigue syndrome, I bought into it because we were in a pandemic. Turns out I didn’t have it, anxiety had taken over my mind and I’d convinced myself I had several terrible conditions like ME and Vestibular Migraines. Then came the adverse reaction to sertraline, but I kept taking it because of all the “worse before better” nonsense.

 

Fast forward to now, mentally I feel the best I’ve been in over 3.5 years. Physically, I’m crippled. I know it’s sertraline, and I also know I can’t just cold-turkey it. I fight the urge to bin it most days, it’s funny what chronic pain does to a person.

@Erimus yes I believe pain can cause so much anxiety and in turn it makes your mind think all sorts. How awful for you to feel crippled and in pain but as you said you can't just bin this vile tablet. 

I do want to start tapering but I really have to wait again for a few more months until my other symptoms settle. I find when my gastritis calms down then my mind is in a better place.

[Erimus]

Yes, gastritis is a nasty symptom. For what it's worth, my stomach problems resolved after 18-24 months of suffering.

 

You probably already know this, but try raising the top of your bed 3-6 inches using bed risers. Also, make sure you sleep on your left hand side, gravity helps keep your stomach contents in your stomach. I guzzled gaviscon for weeks on end in early withdrawal, haven't touched it in probably 1.5 years.

 

Still on omeprazole, but only taking 10mg. I was on 40mg at the worst point.

Edited February 18 by Erimus

[HelenR]

21 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Yes, gastritis is a nasty symptom. For what it's worth, my stomach problems resolved after 18-24 months of suffering.

 

You probably already know this, but try raising the top of your bed 3-6 inches using bed risers. Also, make sure you sleep on your left hand side, gravity helps keep your stomach contents in your stomach. I guzzled gaviscon for weeks on end in early withdrawal, haven't touched it in probably 1.5 years.

 

Still on omeprazole, but only taking 10mg. I was on 40mg at the worst point.

@Erimus yes I do all the things mentioned. I'm gluten and lactose free nowadays. Very bland diet too. I've had 2 endoscopy that show inflamed patches all around my stomach lining. I get it under control for a while then usually if I get a virus it flares up. I had COVID in Dec 23, it was the vomiting COVID and that flared my poor stomach up so badly. I'm just getting it settled after 2 months. It's such a vicious circle with all of these symptoms. The vagus nerve plays a big role in it too . I'm hoping eventually when I begin my slow taper off citalopram that maybe my stomach will improve as God knows what Ssris do to our stomachs. 

[Erimus]

1 hour ago, HelenR said:

@Erimus yes I do all the things mentioned. I'm gluten and lactose free nowadays. Very bland diet too. I've had 2 endoscopy that show inflamed patches all around my stomach lining. I get it under control for a while then usually if I get a virus it flares up. I had COVID in Dec 23, it was the vomiting COVID and that flared my poor stomach up so badly. I'm just getting it settled after 2 months. It's such a vicious circle with all of these symptoms. The vagus nerve plays a big role in it too . I'm hoping eventually when I begin my slow taper off citalopram that maybe my stomach will improve as God knows what Ssris do to our stomachs. 

One of the doctors I spoke to back in late 2020 said that sertraline was "like paint stripper for our stomachs", take from that what you will. Makes you wonder why we ever decided these drugs were worth all the problems they create.. £££.

Edited February 18 by Erimus

[modelarz71]

How to distinguish gastritis from gastroparesis, I understand that there are other examinations and tests, but in fact all these symptoms are similar in all of us. Digestion has slowed down, food lingers, etc.

I have 0mg and everyone says that another restoration is unlikely to cure it, 

[Erimus]

56 minutes ago, modelarz71 said:

How to distinguish gastritis from gastroparesis, I understand that there are other examinations and tests, but in fact all these symptoms are similar in all of us. Digestion has slowed down, food lingers, etc.

I have 0mg and everyone says that another restoration is unlikely to cure it, 

Gastritis is an inflammation of the stomach lining, can be diagnosed by endoscopy. Gastroparesis is more of a functional disorder, meaning there is no test for it. It would have to be diagnosed via elimination of other issues. I have had issues with stomach inflammation and motility throughout withdrawal, both are mostly cleared up now.

 

I have experience with functional dyspepsia as well, which I developed when I was around 15, years before I ever took psychiatric medication. Treatment of these conditions mainly revolves around stress and lifestyle management, which is obviously very difficult when you are in withdrawal.

 

Have you tried high dose Vitamin C? I'm talking like 5-6000mg a day. You gradually build up the amount you take by increasing weekly, and continue until your bowels are no longer 'solid'. For example, week 1 = 1000mg, week 2 = 2000mg etc.

Edited February 18 by Erimus

[modelarz71]

Thank you for your message. I haven't tried vitamin C yet but I will introduce it into my kit (turmeric and thistle) .Good that your digestion has improved. 

[HelenR]

18 hours ago, Erimus said:

One of the doctors I spoke to back in late 2020 said that sertraline was "like paint stripper for our stomachs", take from that what you will. Makes you wonder why we ever decided these drugs were worth all the problems they create.. £££.

Well that's awful to hear if it's like paint stripper!!! I'm sure the doctors that dish it out wouldn't take it!!

[Erimus]

3 hours ago, HelenR said:

Well that's awful to hear if it's like paint stripper!!! I'm sure the doctors that dish it out wouldn't take it!!

I don't think any sane doctor would take it after seeing what it does to people like me, but they're probably just as bad as the rest of us. Desperate for a pill to quick-fix all the stress in their lives.

[Erimus]

Seem to be in a cycle of more pain and less pain every other day. Keen to break out of it sooner rather than later, I think the last few weeks and months have been another big nervous system adjustment.

 

I still have no doubt in my mind that tapering is the right choice. I had to break the cycle and start making strides towards removing this toxic drug from my system, as hard as it will be. I know it is the root cause of the severe physical pain.

Edited February 20 by Erimus

[HelenR]

54 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Seem to be in a cycle of more pain and less pain every other day. Keen to break out of it sooner rather than later, I think the last few weeks and months have been another big nervous system adjustment.

 

I still have no doubt in my mind that tapering is the right choice. I had to break the cycle and start making strides towards removing this toxic drug from my system, as hard as it will be. I know it is the root cause of the severe physical pain.

@Erimus well done for having the right attitude as I know it's hard to keep those thoughts in the right direction. 

[Erimus]

I've noticed my sense of taste and smell has improved recently. In early withdrawal I was so off my head my senses were non-existent. I've also regained a lot of strength in my arms, and can now use them with less fear of causing injury. My upper back has improved as well. Joints are still good, as they have been for many months now.

 

Just my legs and feet that are the big obstacle these days.

Edited February 21 by Erimus

[Dahlia50]

Like several in this thread, I can’t understand how you can be in so much pain when you stop taking SSRIs.

 

Long term user of zoloft 13 years, 5 months off.
Right now I have (among other things) extreme pain in head, neck and upper body - Extreme muscle pain. Is it WD or could this have triggered fibromyalgia?

 

A sensitive nervous system and lack of serotonin. Has the brain and imbalance in the hormonal system contributed to a misinterpretation of pain signals.
Does anyone know of others getting fibromyalgia after stopping SSRI? Or it could be fibromyalgia-like symptoms…

[Erimus]

2 hours ago, Dahlia50 said:

Like several in this thread, I can’t understand how you can be in so much pain when you stop taking SSRIs.

 

Long term user of zoloft 13 years, 5 months off.
Right now I have (among other things) extreme pain in head, neck and upper body - Extreme muscle pain. Is it WD or could this have triggered fibromyalgia?

 

A sensitive nervous system and lack of serotonin. Has the brain and imbalance in the hormonal system contributed to a misinterpretation of pain signals.
Does anyone know of others getting fibromyalgia after stopping SSRI? Or it could be fibromyalgia-like symptoms…

I think serotonin is closely linked with pain. Hence why give people SSRIs and SNRIs to "manage" chronic pain. In the long run it probably just worsens the problem, without dealing with the root.

 

When you suddenly remove a drug, and all the "artificial" serotonin, pain is pretty likely. I've never experienced pain like what I have now, it's constant and unrelenting every day. I have to act now, because I can't continue to exist in such insufferable pain. I hope you find improvement and health in your journey.

Edited February 24 by Erimus

[HelenR]

On 2/21/2024 at 9:04 PM, Erimus said:

I've noticed my sense of taste and smell has improved recently. In early withdrawal I was so off my head my senses were non-existent. I've also regained a lot of strength in my arms, and can now use them with less fear of causing injury. My upper back has improved as well. Joints are still good, as they have been for many months now.

 

Just my legs and feet that are the big obstacle these days.

@erimus I'm glad you're having improvements however small. They give us hope that in time things will get better. The goal post is nearer by the month.

[Dahlia50]

@Erimus Thanks! Yes, I believe serotonin is linked to pain. But in the long run - it can make it worse.

Never had this extreme pain before, mostly physically but also mentally hard to put up with, my body hurts so much that I can’t go out for walks. It happend when I went from 12.5mg to zero (fast taper) - so it’s a direct connection.

It's constant every day and I can't work. What do you mean you have to act?

[Farm24]

22 hours ago, Erimus said:

I think serotonin is closely linked with pain. Hence why give people SSRIs and SNRIs to "manage" chronic pain. In the long run it probably just worsens the problem, without dealing with the root.

 

When you suddenly remove a drug, and all the "artificial" serotonin, pain is pretty likely. I've never experienced pain like what I have now, it's constant and unrelenting every day. I have to act now, because I can't continue to exist in such insufferable pain. I hope you find improvement and health in your journey.

Hello. I'm wondering if you have access to a Doc. For some reason lex raised my crp.  I'm wondering if it did for you.