Erimus: my introduction and journal

[Erimus]

1 hour ago, mingo26 said:

Hello. I'm wondering if you have access to a Doc. For some reason lex raised my crp.  I'm wondering if it did for you. 

I don't know what crp is, but my most recent blood tests were all clear.

[Farm24]

3 minutes ago, Erimus said:

I don't know what crp is, but my most recent blood tests were all clear.

It's an inflammatory marker.  They don't normally test for it. 

[Erimus]

7 hours ago, Dahlia50 said:

What do you mean you have to act?

I feel the pain is so severe that I have to make a drastic change.

[Erimus]

5 hours ago, mingo26 said:

It's an inflammatory marker.  They don't normally test for it. 

Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If the usual panel of bloods comes up fine I'd rather not go searching for further issues.

[Erimus]

In more positive news, my mum is 8 months into her fluoxetine taper, and has reached 15mg down from 20mg.

 

Thankfully she started with all the correct information.

[HelenR]

5 hours ago, Erimus said:

In more positive news, my mum is 8 months into her fluoxetine taper, and has reached 15mg down from 20mg.

 

Thankfully she started with all the correct information.

@Erimus that's great news. Thank goodness she was given the correct info or the poor lady would be suffering .

[withhopeinmyheart]

I read your whole thread today. Thank you for being there for me and others while suffering so immensely. I admire your strength and hope you will very soon get some relief. 

[Farm24]

On 2/26/2024 at 6:52 AM, Erimus said:

In more positive news, my mum is 8 months into her fluoxetine taper, and has reached 15mg down from 20mg.

 

Thankfully she started with all the correct information.

How have you been doing? Been thinking of you this week 

[Erimus]

1 hour ago, Farm24 said:

How have you been doing? Been thinking of you this week 

Not good on the pain front. Mentally fine but pain is often insane. Mind wants to be busy, which causes massive frustration as I try to drag my crippled limbs around the house.

[Farm24]

3 hours ago, Erimus said:

Not good on the pain front. Mentally fine but pain is often insane. Mind wants to be busy, which causes massive frustration as I try to drag my crippled limbs around the house.

Sorry to hear that. I know how you feel.  I keep hoping that you will get a nice window soon.  

[Farm24]

On 2/9/2024 at 7:44 AM, Erimus said:

Yesterday, less pain but more restlessness.

 

Today, more pain and some restlessness.

 

Skin on hands is absolutely destroyed. I have eczema like flare-ups from Dec 2020 and June 2021, in various places, that have never gone away. The presence of sertraline and how I react to it has meant my body has never been able to revert to homeostasis since June 2020. Circulation to my feet has been impacted, and they are often purple and stone cold due to lack of blood flow. I have taken pictures of them as evidence of what these drugs are capable of.

I wonder if your  muscle pain is from lack of blood flow

[peaceandlove]

On 1/20/2022 at 10:04 AM, Erimus said:

Still struggling with orthostatic hypotension as well. When I stand up I go dizzy for a few seconds then it corrects. My nervous system is destroyed it appears.
 

I think I’ll begin my taper 18th March, that’s 6 months from the last change. Can’t really bring myself to allocate any more time than that.

do you still deal with the orthostatic hypotension? And what is the difference between POTS and orthostatic hypotension.

 

when I get up my heart races & feels like I’m about to pass out, dizzy. It’s relived by laying down

[Farm24]

On 3/2/2024 at 5:30 PM, Erimus said:

Not good on the pain front. Mentally fine but pain is often insane. Mind wants to be busy, which causes massive frustration as I try to drag my crippled limbs around the house.

My sense of smell and touch comes back in waves. Like it js back to normal one day and gone the next.  Did you find that?  Or did yours just turn on

[Erimus]

On 3/14/2024 at 3:05 PM, peaceandlove said:

do you still deal with the orthostatic hypotension? And what is the difference between POTS and orthostatic hypotension.

 

when I get up my heart races & feels like I’m about to pass out, dizzy. It’s relived by laying down

No, it's been gone for probably 18+ months now. I think orthostatic hypotension is just a momentary dizziness when standing. POTS is more complex, and doesn't just fade away after a few seconds of being stood.

 

16 hours ago, Farm24 said:

My sense of smell and touch comes back in waves. Like it js back to normal one day and gone the next.  Did you find that?  Or did yours just turn on

Sometimes I can smell and taste things better. It's still not great, but it is the least of my concerns right now.

[Farm24]

58 minutes ago, Erimus said:

No, it's been gone for probably 18+ months now. I think orthostatic hypotension is just a momentary dizziness when standing. POTS is more complex, and doesn't just fade away after a few seconds of being stood.

 

Sometimes I can smell and taste things better. It's still not great, but it is the least of my concerns right now.

Yeah. Same here. I still have my old symptoms and somehow developed painful sinus pressure. Fun!

[OnTheMend]

On 1/25/2024 at 12:37 AM, Catina7 said:

Hello fellow Mentor @Erimus!  I've read some of your posts and feel sad that you've suffered so much.  One day you're going to be looking back on all of this because it WILL be behind you.  You have shown incredible courage, patience, and persistence despite having to deal with such awful symptoms.  You have to keep going because one day someone else will be exactly where you are now, and your experience will be their survival guide.  Keep going....we're all rooting for you!  

 

Catina ❤️

YES, agreed Catina! 
Your commitment to documenting your experience is so valuable. It tells a heart breaking story that’s familiar to so many of us - stuck and questioning and suffering.
The existence of this website and the thousands and thousands of accounts are referenced in the long awaited Maudsley Deprescribing Guidelines. 
It’s reassuring that a medical guide is now physically out in the world. It doesn’t ease the day to day, hour to hour physical and mental pain and discomfort that these drugs and the withdrawal are causing, but it’s a huge step towards change.

…. which will also be slow, but happening. 
 

I’m gonna keep reading through your story 🌼

[OnTheMend]

On 2/19/2024 at 3:36 AM, HelenR said:

too. I've had 2 endoscopy that show inflamed patches all around my stomach lining….
The vagus nerve plays a big role in it too . I'm hoping eventually when I begin my slow taper off citalopram that maybe my stomach will improve as God knows what Ssris do to our stomachs. 

Hi @HelenR, 

So many complex stories! 
I had 2 gastroscopies last year. Investigating why I have periods of low iron. The first they saw telangiactasia (like spider veins, broken capillaries) in my upper stomach, with ‘low-grade ooze’ of blood. Sounds great hey! The second procedure was organised to ‘zap’ the blood vessels to stop the bleeding but when they went in they couldn’t see any. This sits with my theory is that they come and go - I have periods with a bad taste in my mouth esp first thing in the morning- a little like reflux but not acidic - maybe this is the blood 🤷‍♀️ and this aligns with symptoms of low iron. 
The Maudsley Deprescribing Guide mentions upper GI bleeding as a symptom of long term antidepressant use. It’s good to find evidence and shared experiences but we still have to go through it and wait, hope and work for healing. 

 

A healthy gut is key to all aspects of good health. Our guts are damaged by the meds but we have to stay on them and taper slowly. I think this is a huge hurdle.

 

[Ariel]

Hello @Erimus

Reading through your posts here in your thread and also in others' I am blown away by your courage, integrity, wisdom, and tenacity.

I know you are still in the thick of it, and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is truly indescribably difficult. Give yourself so much credit for how far you've come, you are truly doing an incredible job! I applaud and celebrate your hard work. 

How praiseworthy and awe-inspiring, as well, that you are able to enact the role of moderator here amidst the unique challenges of your personal experience. You are offering such qualified guidance and support to your peers, and your efforts fortify the entire community. Thank you. 

You're amazing and encountering your contributions on SA I'm filled with admiration, respect, and gratitude. Well done, you, and hats off!

Rock on <3

[Erimus]

6 hours ago, Ariel said:

Hello @Erimus

Reading through your posts here in your thread and also in others' I am blown away by your courage, integrity, wisdom, and tenacity.

I know you are still in the thick of it, and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is truly indescribably difficult. Give yourself so much credit for how far you've come, you are truly doing an incredible job! I applaud and celebrate your hard work. 

How praiseworthy and awe-inspiring, as well, that you are able to enact the role of moderator here amidst the unique challenges of your personal experience. You are offering such qualified guidance and support to your peers, and your efforts fortify the entire community. Thank you. 

You're amazing and encountering your contributions on SA I'm filled with admiration, respect, and gratitude. Well done, you, and hats off!

Rock on ❤️

Glad to hear from you @Ariel, and I hope you're doing okay.

 

The moderating gives me some sort of purpose and function in my very limited life, which I think is important.

 

Best wishes.

[Catwoman73]

@Erimus- I second what @Ariel said.  I'm blown away that you can manage to be a mod here while trying to manage your own taper and WD symptoms.  I have so many days where my brain won't even let me butter my toast and pour my coffee lol.  Mad respect to you!!!