annatino: I need help because I messed myself up

[Shep]

@annatino Excellent work with your daily drug and symptoms journal.

 

Please keep posting it for a few more days so we can see if there are any patterns.

 

How many hours are you sleeping each night? Please include this in your daily journal.

[annatino]

1 hour ago, Shep said:

How many hours are you sleeping each night? Please include this in your daily journal.

I had always slept 10 hours without any issues, however tonight I had insomnia for the first time in one year. 
I woke up at 4 am and I am still awake

 

 

August 15

4:00 am woke up could not sleep anymore 

7:00 took less Ativan 

7:30 tinnitus hiss and popping sound on my left year.h

Head pressure, feeling tense and tired.

 

Something is not right from the Ativan. 

 

[Shep]

8 minutes ago, annatino said:

7:00 took less Ativan 

 

Please do not reduce the dose. We're trying to see if there are any patterns with your current dosing. 

 

We need you to continue taking exactly what you've been taking, same time of the day and at the same dose, to see if there are any patterns over time for the next few days. 

 

Please post your drug and symptoms journal for 24 hours at a time in one post. Also, please include the dose you take (not "took less Ativan"). 

 

After a few days, we'll be able to set up a game plan for your next steps.

 

[annatino]

Should I go back on 50mg Sertraline from what I am not in past two weeks? 
 

I cut about 30% from 50mg.

 

I was on 100mg for maybe one week then cut to 75mg for few weeks then to 50mg and now I am around 35mg 

I am waiting for the scale to arrive.

 

[annatino]

7 hours ago, Shep said:

After a few days, we'll be able to set up a game plan for your next steps.

Thank you so much Shep.

 

God bless!

[annatino]

14 hours ago, Shep said:

We need you to continue taking exactly what you've been taking, same time of the day and at the same dose, to see if there are any patterns over time for the next few days. 

Hi Shep,

 

Here is the second day journal:

 

August 15

 

4:00 am - woke up could not sleep anymore, insomnia, first time in year, last time I had insomnia is exactly a year ago when I went through withdrawals.

7:00 am - took half of 0.25mg Ativan ( I diluted the small pill in water and made 4 parts to take but I am not sure if it’s ok to do this, seems like the pill dissolves instantly. Maybe it’s supposed to go under the tongue. I will take my next doze in pill form, but the pill crusher doesn’t cut it equally).

7:30 am - tinnitus and head pressure, feeling tense and tired.

Twitches in legs and muscle 

Tremor on the lip

8:00 am  - tried CBD oil ton help me sleep (last time I took was in March)

9:00 am - took the rest of the Ativan 0.125 

Fell asleep

10:50 am - woke up with anxiety and sexually aroused in a weird dream ( I have not have

intercourses for the past 5 years) 

 

***Could I add Evening Primrose Oil?

I’ve heard that is helping with hormones balance. 

 

11:10 am - no appetite, not able to eat anything, I am still in bed feeling afraid and exhausted 

11:20 - pushed myself out the bed.

Cotton mouth. I used to get this when I had increased meds, as a side effect.

12:20 - took magnesium 

Will try to eat something, still no appetite.

Evenings I have sugar cravings.

12:45 - took Sertraline with food

1:30 - Tinnitus is louder 

Still having anxiety and trying           breathing techniques.

2:00 pm - took Ativan 0.25mg - went for walk to the store, couple km.

3:30 pm - anxiety stopped. Walked couple kilometers.

Tinnitus is increased, couple popping/clicking sounds on the left ear but constant hissing in both ears.

5:00 pm - anxiety starts again on and off. Clicking sounds on my left year and louder tinnitus.

I believe that Ativan is increasing my tinnitus. Prior taking it daily, the tinnitus was soft in the background.

6:00 pm - anxiety subsided.

8:00 pm - still stable with no anxiety. Tinnitus is increased though. Feeling head and ears pressure because of it. 

10:00 - took 15mg Mirtazepine and went to bed.

 

 Many thanks for willing to help.

[Shep]

@annatino Until you're able to provide a few days of drug and symptom notes without making any changes, we aren't going to be able to help you set up a taper. That means not adding in things like CBD oil, reducing the Ativan, etc. 

 

Here's an example of why this is so important. In your latest post, you wrote: 

 

8 hours ago, annatino said:

I believe that Ativan is increasing my tinnitus.

 

Yet, yesterday you wrote:

 

On 8/14/2022 at 11:04 PM, annatino said:

9 a.m. Took 0.25mg Ativan - did not have tinnitus after taking it.

 

The difference is you cut your Ativan dose in half in your latest journal entry, so it's possible the tinnitus was worse because you put yourself into Ativan withdrawal by making this large reduction in dose. 

 

Or it could be because you changed the method you took it - dissolving it in liquid instead of using your usual method of taking it in pill form. That's two changes - the method you take your drug counts as a change. 

 

Please see:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

If you can learn not to add in random supplements or make impulsive drug changes now, you'll set yourself up for a much easier taper. Your nervous system is seeking stability. That means taking your drugs at the same times of the day and at the same dose for long periods of time. There will be changes in your symptoms that don't make any sense because withdrawal is non-linear. This means symptoms will come and go randomly as your nervous system fights to adapt. This doesn't mean anything is wrong that you can fix by continuing to tweak your drugs. It's simply your body's way of adjusting. 

 

Please see:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[annatino]

4 hours ago, Shep said:

Or it could be because you changed the method you took it - dissolving it in liquid instead of using your usual method of taking it in pill form.

Hi Shep.

 

The reason I tried to take it in water is because the pill is so tiny. When I spit it in two, there is no way to be done equally with the pill splitter. One piece is ok and the second one is a bit less and sometimes it crumbled.

 

It will be very difficult to cut this pill when I will start tapering unless if water titration won’t work for me?
There will be another method example:

I will weight 10 pills at once on the scale and add total number of pills then divide by 10 and come up with a individual weight for a pill, put inside a veggie capsule and multiply each pill by 5% and so on. But with this method I won’t be able to take it multiple times a day. 

 

[annatino]

13 hours ago, Shep said:

Until you're able to provide a few days of drug and symptom notes without making any changes, we aren't going to be able to help you set up a taper.

Day 3 

9:00 am - woke up without anxiety and took 0.25mg Ativan.

9:30 am - started to feel anxiety 

Tinnitus is increasing 

11:00 am - still a bit of anxiety 

12:00 pm - took Sertraline. Having anxiety and crying. 

I forced myself eating but have no appetite.

1:00 pm - Feeling anxiety and sick, like fainting feeling.

2:00 pm - Took 0.25mg Ativan.

3:30 pm - no more anxiety.

5:00 pm - still good. Went for walk.

6:00 pm - exhausted after walking 2 km and tinnitus is acting up. 

9:00 pm - magnesium. ( Forgot to add it on the post yesterday, but I take it every night)

Have not have any anxiety.

10:00 pm - taking Mirtazepine before bed. 

[ChessieCat]

27 minutes ago, annatino said:

9:00 pm - magnesium. ( Forgot to add it on the post yesterday, but I take it every night)

 

For future reference, ie after the staff have assessed your daily symptom notes without any changes:

 

If you are taking this for its calming affect it is better to take several doses throughout the day.  It also needs to be taken 2 hours apart from calcium which cancels the calming effect.

[annatino]

21 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

For future reference, ie after the staff have assessed your daily symptom notes without any changes:

 

If you are taking this for its calming affect it is better to take several doses throughout the day.  It also needs to be taken 2 hours apart from calcium which cancels the calming effect.

Hi ChessieCat,

 

I just started the magnesium like couple weeks ago and taking it daily since I was told to keep everything steady and taking it at the same time.

I take 200mg at night because it’s good for sleep. 
 

Not sure how much I can still add a day.

 

 

[Shep]

20 hours ago, annatino said:

The reason I tried to take it in water is because the pill is so tiny. When I spit it in two, there is no way to be done equally with the pill splitter. One piece is ok and the second one is a bit less and sometimes it crumbled.

 

It will be very difficult to cut this pill when I will start tapering unless if water titration won’t work for me?

 

You don't know if water isn't a good method for you - you decreased the dose at the same time you switched to water. If may have been the water but it may have been the decrease. There's no way to know. If you do want to switch to liquid, the best way to do this is to switch slowly - take part of your dose in pill and part in liquid for a few days. For example, use 25% liquid and 75% pill for a few days, then half in half for a few days, then 75% liquid and 25% pill for a few days and then 100% liquid. This gives your nervous system time to adjust. 

 

Are you able to get prescription Ativan liquid where you live? 

 

10 hours ago, annatino said:

9:00 am - woke up without anxiety and took 0.25mg Ativan.

9:30 am - started to feel anxiety 

Tinnitus is increasing 

11:00 am - still a bit of anxiety 

 

Did you eat breakfast? If not, some of the anxiety may be low blood sugar from not eating. 

 

How many hours did you sleep? 

 

11 hours ago, annatino said:

12:00 pm - took Sertraline. Having anxiety and crying. 

I forced myself eating but have no appetite.

 

Does sertraline make you feel nauseous? 

[annatino]

47 minutes ago, Shep said:

Are you able to get prescription Ativan liquid where you live? 

I am not sure. I didn’t ask.

 

[annatino]

48 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Did you eat breakfast? If not, some of the anxiety may be low blood sugar from not eating. 

I did not eat. I had zero appetite.

[annatino]

49 minutes ago, Shep said:

Does sertraline make you feel nauseous? 

I don’t feel nauseous. 

[annatino]

Day 4 🙂

 

7:30 am - woke up earlier then usual but with no anxiety

8:30 am - started to get anxious combined with tinnitus

9:00 am - took 0.25mg Ativan 

9:30 am - less anxious 

10:00 am - ate small breakfast 

11:30 am - Tinnitus is starting following anxiety and feeling exhausted. 

12:00 pm - Took Sertraline 

Feeling low. Crying spell.

2:00 pm - took 0.25mg Ativan

2:30 pm - feeling better.

4:30 pm - stable on anxiety.

Still feeling a bit sad. Tinnitus is lower.

Did not eat much in the morning but will try to eat dinner. 

5:00 pm - no anxiety 

7:00 pm - no anxiety, tinnitus in the background.

9:00 pm - magnesium

10:00 pm -  Mirtazepine before bed 

 

[Shep]

@annatinoIt looks like you're stabilizing on the 0.25 mg Ativan taken twice a day. Do you feel that's true? 

 

Yes, please try to eat - foods with protein and low in sugar are best. You may want to eat several small meals and snacks throughout the day to keep your blood sugar steady. Withdrawal can cause sudden drops in blood sugar, so staying fueled with healthy foods and plenty of water throughout the day will really help with your mood and energy levels. 

 

How many hours are you sleeping each night? Please add the number of hours you sleep to your daily journal. Also, please add the amount of mirtazepine you're taking. 

[annatino]

2 hours ago, Shep said:

It looks like you're stabilizing on the 0.25 mg Ativan taken twice a day. Do you feel that's true? 

Actually I am not. I’m am having very rough time until 4 pm.

Today I woke up at 6 am and struggled to get back to sleep. 
I am bed ridden all day. 

[annatino]

2 hours ago, Shep said:

How many hours are you sleeping each night? Please add the number of hours you sleep to your daily journal. Also, please add the amount of mirtazepine you're taking. 

I did specify that I am sleeping 10 hrs a day but lately I am waking up 4 am or 6 am.

 

Mirtazepine is 15mg.

 

Since I am taking this Ativan, every day, I am a mess.

[annatino]

August 18

 

6:00 am - woke up too early and went to back to sleep. No anxiety.

7:00 am - woke up again with anxiety.

8:30 am - woke up - little anxiety and tinnitus.

9:00 am - took 0.25 mg Ativan 

10:00 am - still bed ridden with some anxiety

12:00 pm - took Sertraline

2:00 pm - took 0.25mg Ativan - a little anxiety

3:00 pm - no anxiety, tinnitus is soft.

5:00 pm - went outside for walk and sunshine. Feeling normal. 

8:00 pm - 200mg magnesium 

9:00 pm - feeling still ok, no anxiety, soft tinnitus

10:00 pm - took 15mg Mirtazepine before bed

 

@Shepwould these days of journal be enough? Or should I still monitor the next days?

I am thinking to start taking Ativan 4 times a day and begging tapper soon?

 

What you ladies think is best?

 

Many thanks. 

[Shep]

20 hours ago, annatino said:

Since I am taking this Ativan, every day, I am a mess.

 

You also reported having problems during the times you were taking benzos periodically. This is from your first post back in February:

 

On 2/22/2022 at 7:47 AM, annatino said:

I decided to stop after one month and went into insanity, emergency rooms and but back on Lexapro 5mg to 10 mg and klonopin .25mg as needed and then decided to stop again after one month.

I ended up with the worst panic attack from withdrawals and shaking,not eating, lost 15 pounds and ended up in hospital.

They kept me 12 days on Paxil 40mg and Quietapine for sleep and 1mg Ativan.

Was feeling great and came home just to start all over and ended up in the hospital again.

 

11 hours ago, annatino said:

 

@Shepwould these days of journal be enough? Or should I still monitor the next days?

I am thinking to start taking Ativan 4 times a day and begging tapper soon?

 

I would not start tapering until you give your nervous system time to adjust. Otherwise, you're risking another hospitalization and more drugs. Please stop rushing this, Annatino. The more you go through these type of rapid drug changes, the more you destabilize your nervous system. This leads to kindling the nervous system. Kindling is trauma and damage to the nervous system. This can make each subsequent withdrawal much worse. Eventually it can become so bad that your nervous system crashes. 

 

I asked if you think you're stabilizing, and you wrote this: 

 

20 hours ago, annatino said:

Actually I am not. I’m am having very rough time until 4 pm.

 

Yet in your drug and symptoms notes, you've reported:

 

On 8/16/2022 at 9:04 PM, annatino said:

2:00 pm - Took 0.25mg Ativan.

3:30 pm - no more anxiety.

5:00 pm - still good. Went for walk.

 

On 8/17/2022 at 8:51 PM, annatino said:

9:00 am - took 0.25mg Ativan 

9:30 am - less anxious 

10:00 am - ate small breakfast 

11:30 am - Tinnitus is starting following anxiety and feeling exhausted. 

12:00 pm - Took Sertraline 

Feeling low. Crying spell.

2:00 pm - took 0.25mg Ativan

2:30 pm - feeling better.

 

11 hours ago, annatino said:

2:00 pm - took 0.25mg Ativan - a little anxiety

3:00 pm - no anxiety, tinnitus is soft.

 

So you are getting windows from some of your symptoms before 4 PM. I'm assuming those are your worst symptoms because they're the ones you report most in your notes. For someone who's struggling with being bedridden, getting out for a walk is a MAJOR improvement. 

 

Right now, you're sleeping all night and you're having 12-hour windows (from around 4 in the afternoon until 4 - 6 am the next morning). By staying exactly where you are right now - same drugs, same times of the day, same doses - you'll allow your nervous system to adjust and build a strong baseline before you begin tapering. 

 

I would go into a very long hold. Think in terms of months, not weeks. 

 

11 hours ago, annatino said:

@Shepwould these days of journal be enough? Or should I still monitor the next days?

 

If you don't want to post on the forum, you may want to keep taking notes on paper or on a Word doc in case you need to ask questions later.  I hope you'll go into a long hold and work on non-drug coping skills such as gentle stretching, going on walks when you're able, listening to relaxing music, watching your favorite movies or TV shows, guided relaxation meditations, etc. Let your nervous system heal before continuing on with tapering. 

 

 

Edited August 19, 2022 by Shep
fixed typo

[annatino]

Hi Shep,

 

Thank you for all your help once again.

I noticed that I am better today.

Did not wake up with anxiety.

 

I was scared because the morning crippling anxiety I had, made me say bedridden.

 

It only lasts few hours. 
 

Then after 3-4pm I am a new person.

 

About the Sertraline, I was at around 120mg total powder of the capsule for a month. 
 

I got the scale couple days ago and will start reducing 10% for another month. 
 

I will stay on the Ativan 0.5mg a day and will try to separate it in three doses instead two, so I get used to more doses a day.

 

Is this ok? 
 

Thank you.

[annatino]

@ShepHi Shep,

 

I took yesterday 10% of the Sertraline off of the total weight of the powder

120mg w.p.

And today I went back where I used to be because you told me not to reduce it for few months.

 

I took the Ativan at the same times.

Unfortunately I had a bad panic attack or I don’t know what to call it. 
I got these with withdrawal.

 

I was watching a video about this ex rep for pushing RX meds and I got scared what she said so I am not sure what triggered this insane state that I was for 20 min.

Could it be the video trigger, the change in the pill weight switch (was just one day only at lower 10%), is it the benzo? 
 

[annatino]

Also I am perimenopause. I am close to ovulation in few days.

I am shocked. What was this?  

[annatino]

8 hours ago, Shep said:

would go into a very long hold. Think in terms of months, not weeks. 

Shep, I don’t mind staying and wait months.

I worry about building tolerance at the Ativan if I take it every day?

 

Also for me Zoloft is not working, so how can I stay with this so many years in me?

I was on Prozac and was fine, never had this happened to me the way Zoloft makes me is like I want to die.

[Shep]

On 8/19/2022 at 5:02 PM, annatino said:

Shep, I don’t mind staying and wait months.

I worry about building tolerance at the Ativan if I take it every day?

 

Also for me Zoloft is not working, so how can I stay with this so many years in me?

I was on Prozac and was fine, never had this happened to me the way Zoloft makes me is like I want to die.

 

Let's address the concept of "building tolerance." Please keep in mind that the benzo forums like Benzo Buddies are full of people who spend decades on the same dose of a benzo. It sounds like you're stabilizing. This means you're not building tolerance. If you can simply hold everything steady for a few weeks or even a few months, your nervous system will have time to catch up.

 

Imagine you're standing on a trampoline. Every time you make a drug change (this include raising or lowering the dose or changing the time), it's like taking a bounce on the trampoline. If you continue to make changes, you continue to bounce up and down, never giving your nervous system time to rest and recover. 

 

On 8/19/2022 at 11:48 AM, annatino said:

I noticed that I am better today.

Did not wake up with anxiety.

 

I was scared because the morning crippling anxiety I had, made me say bedridden.

 

It only lasts few hours. 
 

Then after 3-4pm I am a new person.

 

You are having a rough time for a few hours a day and then you're having windows in the afternoon and evening and sleeping all night. This is good. 

 

If you can find ways of passing the time when you're not feeling well, and then do what you need to do for cooking and cleaning in the afternoons when you're feeling good, you should be able to get through this phase. 

 

[annatino]

On 8/21/2022 at 7:33 PM, Shep said:

Let's address the concept of "building tolerance." Please keep in mind that the benzo forums like Benzo Buddies are full of people who spend decades on the same dose of a benzo.

Hi Shep.

 

Thank you 😊 

 

Yes, I was really scared, although 0.5mg is the smallest dose but still I am uncomfortable to take it daily for a long time.

I am having better days, thank the Lord and thank God that I follow what you guy are telling me. Thank you so much and God bless you all.

 

I will stabilize for two months at the dosage I am with all three meds and then will start tapper the Ativan first.

 

I wanted to ask your opinion if I should switch to 3.5mg Clorazepat, an older type benzodiazepine, that helped some people switch from short half life benzodiazepine like Ativan or Xanax. Clonazepam I would never touch that devil again and Diazepam it’s possible to make me tired.

 

This one that I would try has a long half life - 24 hours, and is the smallest dose as well 3.7mg.

The pill is larger and it weights like 130mg roughly.

 

With Ativan 0.5mg I cannot shave the pill because it’s very small and weights like 49mg.

I would prefer to shave 1mg of the pill every day and would be out in 10 months instead water titration with Lorazepam. 

[Shep]

10 hours ago, annatino said:

I will stabilize for two months at the dosage I am with all three meds and then will start tapper the Ativan first.

 

This sounds like a good plan.

 

10 hours ago, annatino said:

I wanted to ask your opinion if I should switch to 3.5mg Clorazepat, an older type benzodiazepine, that helped some people switch from short half life benzodiazepine like Ativan or Xanax. Clonazepam I would never touch that devil again and Diazepam it’s possible to make me tired.

 

I wouldn't continue to switch drugs. You risk kindling:

 

Benzo Kindling

 

Also, a crossover to another drug involves removing the first drug. The new drug may or may not cover the withdrawal from the old drug, so you may no longer sleep all night and have 12-hour windows like you're having now. 

 

If all you need is a longer half-life, dividing the Ativan and taking it more than once a day will solve that problem. Ativan's half-life is 10 - 20 hours, and since you're having 12 hours of feeling normal and sleeping all night, it sounds like you may be at the best you can be. As you continue to hold, you may find even more stability. 

 

11 hours ago, annatino said:

With Ativan 0.5mg I cannot shave the pill because it’s very small and weights like 49mg.

I would prefer to shave 1mg of the pill every day and would be out in 10 months instead water titration with Lorazepam. 

 

It doesn't matter which method you use, it will still take the same amount of time to reduce by 10% or less a month. 

 

Are you able to get a prescription for liquid Ativan? 

[annatino]

@Shep  I believe you are right. I will remain at what I am now. 
 

I will ask for the Ativan liquid.

 

I don’t want to go through what I went ever in my life. It was insanity and scary experience.

 

Thank you again.

 

 

[Shep]

@annatinoThat sounds like a good plan. The fact that you're stabilizing means you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Let us know how you're doing from time to time as you continue to hold. 

[annatino]

@Shep I am trying hard Shep. 
Actually, after I read the links that you post last time, I see that they mentioned about building tolerance after 2-4 weeks on benzodiazepine, I went into a full blown panic attack for 20 min.

I was drained for the rest of the day. 
 

I had a Zoom job interview to serve in restaurant, and I thought I did great, but the guy switched and seemed uninterested after 20 min. I don’t think I will get the job.

 

Also, I worked in past two months two weeks in to different restaurants, and both they let me go.

 

I don’t know why I cannot hold a job.

 

My poor son is only 20 and hustle to make money to pay the bills instead continuing school because of me not being well.

 

[Shep]

20 hours ago, annatino said:

Actually, after I read the links that you post last time, I see that they mentioned about building tolerance after 2-4 weeks on benzodiazepine, I went into a full blown panic attack for 20 min.

I was drained for the rest of the day. 

 

I think you may have misread this. You can develop dependency in 2 - 4 weeks, but that doesn't mean you've built tolerance and need to increase the dose. As I wrote earlier, some people stay on the same benzo dose for decades before tapering off.  Dependency and tolerance aren't the same thing. 

 

20 hours ago, annatino said:

I don’t know why I cannot hold a job.

 

Many people can't hold a job during withdrawal. Waitressing sounds like a very hard and stressful job to do during withdrawal. Are you able to find any type of data entry or other job working online from your home? Or something in retail part time in the evenings when you're in a window? 

 

20 hours ago, annatino said:

My poor son is only 20 and hustle to make money to pay the bills instead continuing school because of me not being well.

 

 

You raised your child and likely took care of him when he was sick. Withdrawal is temporary. You'll be able to help him out later in life after you've recovered. 

[annatino]

13 hours ago, Shep said:

Are you able to find any type of data entry or other job working online from your home? Or something in retail part time in the evenings when you're in a window? 

I will try finding something less stressful. I mean all jobs are stressful more or less but the two recent restaurants that I gave my best, although I was in withdrawal, the patrons really appreciated me, and I was doing great in sales and getting great tips, but unfortunately, because both managers at both locations, happened to be very toxic individuals to be around. 

I wasn’t happy there and it’s better for my health because they let me go.

I am just asking myself what was the reason, because what they told me that I wasn’t a good fit, it didn’t make sense to me at all. 

[annatino]

13 hours ago, Shep said:

You raised your child and likely took care of him when he was sick. Withdrawal is temporary. You'll be able to help him out later in life after you've recovered. 

I am truly blessed by God to have my son!

[annatino]

@ShepThe past two days I have been waking up without anxiety. 
 

Today was the first day in a long time when I felt like myself.

My CNS is probably settling down from so many changes that I have done with the medications in the past year. 

Thank you to al you ladies here that are helping me with this journey.

 

[Shep]

12 hours ago, annatino said:

because both managers at both locations, happened to be very toxic individuals to be around. 

 

12 hours ago, annatino said:

I am just asking myself what was the reason, because what they told me that I wasn’t a good fit, it didn’t make sense to me at all. 

 

Toxic people are predators. You may not have been willing to be taken advantage of. In other words, you were taking care of yourself. This is good, Annatino. Yes, finding something less stressful would be great. 

 

12 hours ago, annatino said:

@ShepThe past two days I have been waking up without anxiety. 
 

Today was the first day in a long time when I felt like myself.

My CNS is probably settling down from so many changes that I have done with the medications in the past year. 

Thank you to al you ladies here that are helping me with this journey.

 

 

More signs that you're taking good care of yourself. Very glad to read this. This is a STRONG sign of resiliency. Please continue to hold. This isn't about how fast you can get off these drugs. This is about how functional you can be as you get off the drugs.