SertralineIssues29: Sertraline withdrawals I think, please help

[SertralineIssues29]

I would like to add that some symptoms have cleared up while others seemed to have got worse, the insomnia has turned to fatigue, the morning cortisol is no longer there, to be fair the only symptoms that are really bugging me right now is the mental ones such as the brain fog and scrambled thoughts (thinking I'm going insane and stuff) the visual disturbances are still there too although I expect the covid is going to make things worse for a little bit anyways 

[SertralineIssues29]

Oh and the hypomania has become less frequent too, that's more like a caffiene rush now, I'm no longer spending money and (tmi) wanting to have sex during these phases 

[Altostrata]

Hello, how are you doing? Are you still in the hospital?

[SertralineIssues29]

Hey @Altostrata thanks for checking in

 

Yeh unfortunately covid hit me really hard so Im still in hospital and trying to recover, it's definitely brought some old symptoms back which is annoying but I guess I'm stuck right now so I'm trying to just get on day by day at the moment

 

I'll try and update best I can but I'm definitely struggling 😕

[LostInCanada]

So sorry to hear you have covid on top of it all. 🙏

[SertralineIssues29]

On 4/18/2023 at 5:18 PM, LostInCanada said:

So sorry to hear you have covid on top of it all. 🙏

I appreciate it so much, thankyou

 

Weirdly enough, today hasn't been the worst, it started rough, I felt like I couldn't walk but as the day went on I've had an ok one, symptoms are all there I think just not as intense so I'm taking it as a win for now

 

How are you getting on LIC? 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 glad you had a relatively good day. I had just come through a rough wave again. The nausea was the worst part this time. Such a rollercoaster but feeling better today. Making sure I go slow. 

[SertralineIssues29]

1 minute ago, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 glad you had a relatively good day. I had just come through a rough wave again. The nausea was the worst part this time. Such a rollercoaster but feeling better today. Making sure I go slow. 

Damn I sorry to hear that, glad your coming through it now though

 

The symptoms can be nasty, nausea has been there for me but not one of my worst, for me the worst is these episodes where I feel like I'm on ecstasy or mdma or something they can last a few hours and are horrid, you ever experienced these? 

[LostInCanada]

I've never done ecstasy so I don't know. My worst symptoms were the suicidal hopeless desperate feelings that were so overwhelming. Only once I reinstated did those go away. I sometimes struggle with the reality that this is happening and then I have to tell myself it is real and it's okay and it will pass. 

[SertralineIssues29]

52 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

I've never done ecstasy so I don't know. My worst symptoms were the suicidal hopeless desperate feelings that were so overwhelming. Only once I reinstated did those go away. I sometimes struggle with the reality that this is happening and then I have to tell myself it is real and it's okay and it will pass. 

Ahh ok, it's like a massive caffiene rush with visual "hallucinations" and stuff, like being on some form or sertonogenic street drug, it's awful, 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 not a fun time. I am 62 and back in the day was all about the natural drugs...weed, hash, oils. How did I go from there to taking Paxil for 20+ years? Crazy 

[SertralineIssues29]

10 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 not a fun time. I am 62 and back in the day was all about the natural drugs...weed, hash, oils. How did I go from there to taking Paxil for 20+ years? Crazy 

Dude I completley agree, I'm 30 in a couple months but my late teens was a mess of weed and alcohol with some party drugs thrown in for good measure, now I'm scared to touch a damn paracetamol 😂

 

Funny how things work out 

[SertralineIssues29]

So the last 2 days have been hell, "Mental akathisia" I think (constant random songs in my head, no way of thinking, brain fog, restless thoughts, constant thoughts), some nasty dpdr, headaches like a mf, RLS and just a dread and fear that I'm gonna get worse

 

Then it hit me, yeh I don't feel like I've got "better" since this began mainly because new symptoms have come along and slapped me in the face but I had noticed that before covid came along, some symptoms had left and I hadn't noticed it. The unbearable leg cramps were gone, only noticed this because they came back post covid, the head pressure was alot better and is now back, the morning distorted thoughts were pretty much gone too

 

These aren't the symptoms I would choose to get rid of if I could lol but I guess we don't have that choice, for me the main ones I hate are my "I feel high as a kite" episodes, the mental fog that makes me delirious sometimes and the horrible dpdr 

 

Oh also I realised that the suicidal urges had lessened pre covid they're back with a vengeance now but I do know that they can go again after this

 

I've now got a friend who has said she's willing to move in with me and take care of me while I climb the walls, hallucinate, cry and scream which has really put things into some ease for me but obviously my newly found (after sert) harm ocd is telling me she will be unsafe cause I'm volatile and likely to hurt people 

 

This is **** because I wouldn't want to do that ever, it's just thoughts and stuff from WD 

 

I'm rambling now but I wanna be proactive and have decided I'm gonna stay away from reinstatement and fight this crap head on

 

I'm going to now keep a diary here of symptoms as see how they progress or don't over a month 

 

Wish me luck guys! 

[SertralineIssues29]

Day 128 of no sert: dpdr, feeling crazy, racing thoughts, harm ocd, SI, extreme fear of being alone, hallucinations ( words on the screen moving, warping objects and flashing stuff) mad headache all day, fatigue, eyes are bloodshot to all hell, number 2 is bright yellow still, random images in head, slight psychotic symptoms 

 

Not done alot today as I'm still confined to a bed in the hospital because of covid, I've had a negative test but still having checks on my lungs and stuff, did manage a little walk to the cafe part in the hospital though so that's good also I haven't napped today which is usually my thing so that's also good, hoping I'll sleep well later 

 

Thankyou to anyone keeping up with this, I'll post again soon 

 

SI xx

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 covid definitely has taken its toll on your CNS as well. These drugs just aren't rational in the way they work. I know you want to fight it head on but it may be a harder road. Either way healing will come, for me reinstatement stopped the SI and despair. I am thankful for that.

Is your eye yellow from jaundice? Hope they are checking your liver enzymes. Glad you got up for a walk. 👍

[SertralineIssues29]

23 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 covid definitely has taken its toll on your CNS as well. These drugs just aren't rational in the way they work. I know you want to fight it head on but it may be a harder road. Either way healing will come, for me reinstatement stopped the SI and despair. I am thankful for that.

Is your eye yellow from jaundice? Hope they are checking your liver enzymes. Glad you got up for a walk. 👍

Hey bud! I know it's gonna be the harder road but I've realised I'm hella sensitive to meds now, during this covid crap I was given 1000mgs of paracetamol and it acted the same way albeit in a tiny version of how my paradoxical reaction to lorazepam went months ago, I was anxious, drowsy and had minor closed eye hallucinations. I'm pretty sure I'm pretty kindled so I think reinstatement is probably off the cards for me. Funnily enough a reinstatement is what kicked this mess off, I was off sert for a few months, decided I was anxious and went back on 25mg setting up a paradoxical reaction (SI, HI) then came the lorazepam (adverse again) then some antibiotics which I think went wrong again lol

 

I'm not exactly at peace with it but I'm just trying to move forward now I guess in whatever weird way that is during this crap

 

Ahh you misunderstood, my eyes are bloodshot, my number 2s (poops sorry for tmi) are bright yellow, like my digestive system is acting way to fast or something 

[LostInCanada]

Acceptance with the situation is one of the biggest hurdles so good attitude. Lol yellow poops is gall bladder/liver too. But covid has probably affected your digestive system too. (I obviously didn't read that correctly lol) One day at a time.

Quite a few of us have fear of being alone. My hubby had to quit work to care for me so glad your friend is willing to come stay. WD has a huge impact on so much. Crazy.

[SertralineIssues29]

7 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

Acceptance with the situation is one of the biggest hurdles so good attitude. Lol yellow poops is gall bladder/liver too. But covid has probably affected your digestive system too. (I obviously didn't read that correctly lol) One day at a time.

Quite a few of us have fear of being alone. My hubby had to quit work to care for me so glad your friend is willing to come stay. WD has a huge impact on so much. Crazy.

Yeh I've had multiple blood tests done that show my liver is fine so that's something, haven't had any pain in my abdomen that suggests gallbladder, it's just the colour that's wierd but I have heard stress can speed up the digestive system and if that's the case then it definitely fits the bill! 🤣🤣 I'm glad your husband is willing to do that to help you! It's always good to have someone on your side during this 

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 covid definitely has taken its toll on your CNS as well.

 

Big time! Please try to self-soothe and rest as much as possible. Your nervous system can heal, but will need some extra care. Hope you're feeling better soon!

 

 

[SertralineIssues29]

@littlebird thanks for popping in, yeh covid has smashed me back at least a month in terms of healing, it's awful! But I guess I can't do much about that now, how are things coming along for you? 

[SertralineIssues29]

Day 129 of no sert: boy this one's been a crap show of epic proportions, feel like I've spent the entire day high as a kite, but not the fun I'm giggling stoned kinda high, the oh damn I wanna come back down. I've been wobbling all over the place, tunnel vision, dpdr is through the roof to the point that looking people in their faces scared me.

 

Brain fog and mental akathisia have been a big one today, no breaks in it. It's such a wierd feeling because it feels like I've lost all my memories, like I can't remember what I did today or that things that happened yesterday feel like years ago already but then if I try and remember things like my phone pass code or my bank password it's all there. Feeling disconnected is awful, my kids don't live with me and I haven't seen them since December when this all began but it feels like it's been decades because of this damn affliction. 

 

Could really do with some encouragement here as its so hard to not believe it's permenant and worsening every day since that lorazepam mishap

 

In my heart of hearts I wanna keep saying I will get better but then the brain fog and akathisia smash me with the inability to think and I get so frustrated I just cry

 

We will see what tomorrow brings I guess 

[littlebird]

25 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

@littlebird thanks for popping in, yeh covid has smashed me back at least a month in terms of healing, it's awful! But I guess I can't do much about that now, how are things coming along for you? 

 

I'm doing all right! Keeping on keeping on.

 

19 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

Could really do with some encouragement here as its so hard to not believe it's permenant and worsening every day since that lorazepam mishap

 

In my heart of hearts I wanna keep saying I will get better but then the brain fog and akathisia smash me with the inability to think and I get so frustrated I just cry

 

Everyone I know that had some cognitive stuff from covid experienced improvement. Unfortunately, it does take time and patience and trusting your body to recover.

 

Those I know that have recovered the best are ones who were able to rest a lot. People that rushed back to work/life responsibility tended to have more long term stuff. This includes people who were physically resting, but mentally working on their laptops from bed. Still taxing!

 

I know there's a huge privilege that comes with being able to rest, and I really feel for folks who had no choice but to get back to it in their covid infection.

[SertralineIssues29]

5 minutes ago, littlebird said:

 

I'm doing all right! Keeping on keeping on.

 

 

Everyone I know that had some cognitive stuff from covid experienced improvement. Unfortunately, it does take time and patience and trusting your body to recover.

 

Those I know that have recovered the best are ones who were able to rest a lot. People that rushed back to work/life responsibility tended to have more long term stuff. This includes people who were physically resting, but mentally working on their laptops from bed. Still taxing!

 

I know there's a huge privilege that comes with being able to rest, and I really feel for folks who had no choice but to get back to it in their covid infection.

That's true, covid definitely didn't help but the brain fog and akathisia started in early March and have worsened since then

 

Honestly all I can do is rest at the moment, I'm sleeping throughout the night but as soon as I open my eyes I just wanna sleep again, like I never feel rested, I thought the insomnia in the first month or so was bad lol fatigue is a killer, I often find myself dosing off midday to be woken up by a jerk or something wierd and then back to being tired again by afternoon

[SertralineIssues29]

Hey @Altostrata just wanted to ask for some reassurance. I'm having alot of my usual crap when it comes to withdrawal and stuff but the 1 symptom that kills me is this weird spacey/loopy feeling that can stick around all day, it's like being on drugs when I'm not, it makes me all wobbly, usually accompanied by head pressure and ear pressure, I had someone look in my ears and said there isn't any infection so I'm gonna guess it's just another WD symptom but God it sucks

 

It's like all the weird feelings seratonin affecting street drugs like mdma and ecstasy cause but with none of the fun happy feelings that usually go with it

 

[SertralineIssues29]

I should probably have mentioned that my question was have you seen this symptom before, I've seen it on here but usually from people who are still taking the drugs 

[SertralineIssues29]

Day 130 of no sert: jeez this is rough, today I've had such bad brain fog and an inability to think that I almost convinced myself I didn't know my kids, this broke my heart and mixed with the mental akathisia caused me to cry like a baby for an hour, the rest of the day my vision has been absolutely terrible, dpdr through the roof and that damn weird symptom where I feel all spaced out and loopy is hitting like a truck. 

 

I'm tired, so damn tired of this all and the SI thoughts are becoming more prevelent but I'm really trying to hold out (TRIGGER WARNING) Last time it was this bad was mid March and even then the brain fog wasn't as bad but I resorted to self harm and deeply regret it as its not something I've ever done pre withdrawals.

 

I can take every symptom under the sun but taking away the clarity of my memories with my kids and of better days is ******* cruel, the things I would use to hold onto to see me through this are barely there and I have to resort to pictures to spring any kind of memory up, I cannot do it automatically. Well unless I get one of those weird memory floods that freak me out as I try and sleep

 

God covid really had to just throw a spanner in the works didn't it, I was able to go for a smoke, able to at least talk without fear of people seeing how messed up I was, even able to stand the sun and enjoy the little we had, now though, nope! Hospital hallways now feel elongated and weird to look at, Trippy stuffs

 

Well I'm rambling because I feel like I should but let's see what happens tomorrow shall we 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 hate these drugs. I wonder if a tiny reinstatement could help. It could always be discontinued if not. A moderator could advise. 

[SertralineIssues29]

6 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 hate these drugs. I wonder if a tiny reinstatement could help. It could always be discontinued if not. A moderator could advise. 

Yeh im considering it again, I'm terrified given I had a reaction to bloody paracetamol but this is getting beyond a joke. Half of me wants to fight my little heart out but the other half wants to end up locked up and so drugged up I can't feel the pain. Obviously I know that last one is stupid but it's just one of the many intrusive thoughts I get lol

 

How are you getting on anyways? 

[SertralineIssues29]

OK so weirdly I'm worrying about something else, when this all started I had slightly high blood pressure, understandable if course, the nurse has just checked my BP and it keeps dropping low, I'm wondering if this could be exacerbating my dizziness and brain fog, they keep telling me to drink more water but if I drink anymore I'm gonna burst, she's just said if if my BP is still low tomorrow they're gonna put me back on fluids which I'm OK with, just curious at this point

 

It's all very confusing, my heart rate is stable at 85 ish and doesn't seem to move but again last month my heart rate was at 105 consistently, should I take these as good signs or bad? 

 

It's annoying because alot of people here seem to suffer with horrible anxiety and panic attacks, I haven't had a PA in months, I'm not complaining I just think it's odd, I just get all the other mental symptoms like brain fog, dpdr and feeling high as balls. I did read somewhere that dpdr acts as a somewhat barrier from panic attacks and anxiety? Maybe I'm having internal panic without my body showing it like it used to

[LostInCanada]

48 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

Yeh im considering it again, I'm terrified given I had a reaction to bloody paracetamol but this is getting beyond a joke. Half of me wants to fight my little heart out but the other half wants to end up locked up and so drugged up I can't feel the pain. Obviously I know that last one is stupid but it's just one of the many intrusive thoughts I get lol

 

How are you getting on anyways? 

When I started this merry-go-round, I wanted to be put in the psych ward too. I thought they can take care of me...lol...how dumb cause they will just drug you up and kick you out. It's just so hard to think logically. I've come through 2 back to back waves. Trying not to overdo it. Cleaned the house, did laundry, grocery shopped and planted the garden over the last few days. I can feel it was too much so today I am doing nothing. It is hard to give yourself permission to do nothing when you feel good. 

I have to advocate for reinstatement cause I believe it saved me...it still isn't easy but definitely more manageable. These drugs affect every system in the body, CT is just so hard for it to overcome. I kept thinking I was stronger and could do it. But it isn't about that, it is about trying to do what is best for your body. Definitely you would have to do a small dose to be safe and give it time if there was no bad reaction.

[RachelSusan]

@SertralineIssues29 Hi, I saw your post on someone else's thread when you stopped by to give them encouragement. I am a Sertraline survivor. Like you, my symptoms were mainly physical and the most brutal pain I had ever experienced in my life.  It was truly relentless. At one point my confusion was so bad I could barely put words together to speak.

 

I read your posts and I knew exactly what you were talking about. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can recover sooner rather than later.

 

Warm wishes.

R.

[SertralineIssues29]

@RachelSusan

Thankyou so much for popping by, I'm so scared at the moment as I wake up feeling more and more like I have dementia, I hate it so much, it makes my world feel so damn small, how long did you have this particular symptom for? 

[Altostrata]

Low blood pressure can make you dizzy. How low is it?

 

Are you getting at least 1/2 hour a day of gentle exercise?

 

Dizziness, vertigo, etc. might be the most common withdrawal symptom:

 

 

Dizziness, vertigo, light-headedness, rocking or swaying sensations 

 

What to do for dizziness , queasiness, nausea

 

Severe lightheadedness and fainting

[SertralineIssues29]

16 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Low blood pressure can make you dizzy. How low is it?

 

Are you getting at least 1/2 hour a day of gentle exercise?

 

Dizziness, vertigo, etc. might be the most common withdrawal symptom:

 

 

Dizziness, vertigo, light-headedness, rocking or swaying sensations 

 

What to do for dizziness , queasiness, nausea

 

Severe lightheadedness and fainting

It's not massively low, today has been horrible though, felt like I'm on a bad trip all day, visual disturbances (warping objects and floors/walls) woke up and couldn't even picture my own kids in my head so I cried alot, for most of the day I've spent it watching the walls distort and the room spin, I'm so sick of this trip, I want off badly, I thought I was gonna fall into psychosis earlier, that's how distorted things got. 

 

Thankyou as always for your support alto, there are so many people who would be lost without you

[SertralineIssues29]

I try to walk around the hospital but when the rooms spinning and I'm tripping out, all i can do is lay and hold on for the ride, crying and hoping it stops 

[Altostrata]

Sorry, you may be experiencing symptoms of covid. That's beyond our expertise here.