SertralineIssues29: Sertraline withdrawals I think, please help

[SertralineIssues29]

@Altostrata I understand, these symptoms were there before covid but have definitely been made worse by it so I guess it's probably muddying the waters on what is what

 

I appreciate the advice though 

 

SI xxx

 

[RachelSusan]

8 hours ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

Thank you so much for popping by, I'm so scared at the moment as I wake up feeling more and more like I have dementia, I hate it so much, it makes my world feel so damn small, how long did you have this particular symptom for? 

@SertralineIssues29 I had it for at least 3 or 4 months however it was during quite a few drug changes. When I first got put on antidepressants I was sick with another medical condition and the antidepressants were just an additional overlay.  I got very confused and disoriented. I went cold turkey and then things got worse, I reinstated at much too high of a dose and things went from really bad to hell. So it during this entire period that I felt like I had a loss of cognitive function. I too had spinning rooms and when I walked it felt like the floors were moving under my feet.  I too had warping objects and undulating walls. It was a bad trip that felt like it would never end. When I was a kid the circus would come to town and they had a thing called a fun house that we would walk through. Everything was tilted and confusing.  I felt like I was waking through a fun house in every day life and believe me it was no fun. It took time and things slowly started to improve.

 

You mentioned in some of your earlier posts you were considering reinstatement. Are you still considering?  My only suggestion there is if you do reinstate let the mods help you with picking the correct dosage. I went back at too high of a rate and it made things worse, however in the long run I am glad I did.  Also if you reinstate please don't expect to feel better in a matter of days. If it does work it is possible it could be weeks before you see any improvement. At least that was the way it worked for me.

 

Also one has to consider the Covid.  You said you had cognitive problems before the Covid. The Covid, couldn't have helped though. Any assault to your body is not helpful. It sounds like you are currently in the hospital, is that correct?  Sadly you may not know if the symptoms are purely withdrawal, or a combination of withdrawal and Covid. Once you start to recover from the Covid and get out of the hospital and back to your home environment that should help you to feel more settled.

 

I know it is tough, but the brain does come back. If you are going to reinstate you might want to decide soon.  If you don't reinstate you will improve without it as well. The belief is that sometimes reinstatement can take the edge off but either way you will improve. I know your nightmare, I have lived it. As horrible as it is, you will get better and you will have a normal life once again.

 

If you need someone to talk to I am here. You are in hell right now but you are not alone. You will recover. Your job right now is just to get through each day.

[SertralineIssues29]

@RachelSusan thankyou so much for the long reply, today has been hell, all the usual warping walls, feeling high as a kite, brain fog to dementia levels and now akathisia has kicked in and all I wanna do is thrash about, this is hell, I got through aka when I had the antibiotics a month back and recovered but this is absolutely a different beast, back then I would pace and get relief right now I wanna rip off my skin or pull my brain out of my skull, it's awful I'm just hoping the night brings relief 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 I can't even imagine...is it possible to get a prescription from a doctor there for liquid to start reinstatement once you are out. So glad @RachelSusanunderstands and can hold out hope...it will get better. 👍♥️

[SertralineIssues29]

2 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 I can't even imagine...is it possible to get a prescription from a doctor there for liquid to start reinstatement once you are out. So glad @RachelSusanunderstands and can hold out hope...it will get better. 👍♥️

Mental health won't touch me with a bargepole until I'm medically clear at the moment so no chance on that. Weirdly after everything being so ******* awful today I'm currently laying down with a little inner calm. Not perfect, I feel a bit spacey and weird but ever so slightly calm, hopefully this carries on. 

 

Thankyou so much for everyone's continued support, I'm still terrified but I still have fight. I cried on my friend for hours today repeating the words "I can't do this" but when slight calm comes along like this it re affirms that maybe I can

 

Just read a success story on someone who had a reinstatement go wrong and then tried a benzo and stuff and that went wrong just like me, all the symptoms are similar too, hoping that will be close to what happens to me 

[SertralineIssues29]

So the mental health team have just popped up and prescribed what they think is the answer....... 25mg of quetiapine..... What the actual **** 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 what a joke. Wouldn't it be amazing if they were more than glorified drug dealers. I can only imagine the perks of going to big pharma's conventions. 

[SertralineIssues29]

The worse thing about it all is Ive actually considered it, I haven't taken it but there is a little part of me that says "damn, that could be the answer right there" scary stuff

[Soup]

@LostInCanada I have to share this with you about big pharma clout . Over spring break my husband had to go to Las Vegas when he landed the entire airport was shut down the taxi driver told him it was because president biden was leaving on Air Force one . Guess why he was there for a meeting with the big pharma heads ( you know you have power when the president comes to you ) 

[RachelSusan]

@SertralineIssues29 Oh my f*cking god.  I had to look up Quetiapine. Description below. They couldn't just give you a tiny bit of Sertraline? They are going to make you worse. 

 

Quetiapine is FDA approved for schizophrenia, acute manic episodes, and adjunctive treatment for major depressive disorder. Quetiapine is also used for several non-FDA-approved indications, such as generalized anxiety disorder.

[RachelSusan]

Sorry, if my swearing offended you or anyone else reading. Sometimes I do feel that these moments we go through with these drugs and the medical community can only be truly addressed with a solid swear world.

[Soup]

@RachelSusan I think all the swear words are applicable to all of this ……..

[littlebird]

16 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Sorry, if my swearing offended you or anyone else reading.

 

As someone who takes Seroquel, I've sworn about it myself! Can't wait to taper that one down a bit.

[LostInCanada]

1 hour ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

The worse thing about it all is Ive actually considered it, I haven't taken it but there is a little part of me that says "damn, that could be the answer right there" scary stuff

And it is so hard to think straight. But you have us cheering for you. 👏

[SertralineIssues29]

So after the massive rush of all the aka and stuff yesterday today is weird, I feel so brain dead 

 

Lack of emotions and memory at all, like I've got some sort of veil over my head and eyes and can't connect. If anything this is scarier than the flip out yesterday because I don't know what to feel, inside I feel panic but on the outside nothing

 

I want to cry but that ain't happening, I can't remember anything right now, it's like something has turned off completley, nothing feels familiar or has any sort of emotional tie to it, **** I hate this more than the anxiety and panic

 

I'm wondering if it's like a mental comedown from the intense day that was yesterday, is this ahedonia? It feels dangerous and combined with the severe brain fog makes me feel like a lifeless robot

 

God knows but I guess I'll wait it out 

[SertralineIssues29]

It's just occurred to me that we all look to you @Altostrata for guidance in this but you are also a warrior and I don't see it asked around here enough how your doing, how are you doing? I imagine it's tough work seeing all the troubles and pain people go through on here but I hope your keeping well

 

SI xx

[Altostrata]

15 hours ago, Soup said:

@LostInCanada I have to share this with you about big pharma clout . Over spring break my husband had to go to Las Vegas when he landed the entire airport was shut down the taxi driver told him it was because president biden was leaving on Air Force one . Guess why he was there for a meeting with the big pharma heads ( you know you have power when the president comes to you ) 

 

Biden was there to promote lower drug prices. https://lasvegassun.com/news/2023/mar/14/president-biden-lands-in-las-vegas-for-dnc-fundrai/

[Altostrata]

Just now, SertralineIssues29 said:

It's just occurred to me that we all look to you @Altostrata for guidance in this but you are also a warrior and I don't see it asked around here enough how your doing, how are you doing? I imagine it's tough work seeing all the troubles and pain people go through on here but I hope your keeping well

 

SI xx

 

Thanks for asking. It is hard. But it's needed.

[bambam]

8 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

It's just occurred to me that we all look to you @Altostrata for guidance in this but you are also a warrior and I don't see it asked around here enough how your doing, how are you doing? I imagine it's tough work seeing all the troubles and pain people go through on here but I hope your keeping well

 

SI xx

I love how positive you are through your own withdrawal. I also got COVID back in December and it made me feel worse too. Hope Alto is doing well also. Seems like we forgot to check in on the health of the moderators too.

[SertralineIssues29]

Just now, Atnyxoxo said:

I love how positive you are through your own withdrawal. I also got COVID back in December and it made me feel worse too. Hope Alto is doing well also. Seems like we forgot to check in on the health of the moderators too.

Thankyou, my last few days have been anything but positive, more like a bad acid trip that I couldn't get down from. Today is ever so slightly better in that I'm not hallucinating and crawling out my skin

 

But it's so true, these moderators come on here and guide people in something most don't know about or ever have to endure, it's absolutely admirable! 

 

[SertralineIssues29]

15 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

@SertralineIssues29 Oh my f*cking god.  I had to look up Quetiapine. Description below. They couldn't just give you a tiny bit of Sertraline? They are going to make you worse. 

 

Quetiapine is FDA approved for schizophrenia, acute manic episodes, and adjunctive treatment for major depressive disorder. Quetiapine is also used for several non-FDA-approved indications, such as generalized anxiety disorder.

Don't worry I don't mind a bit of swearing, it's therapeutic 😂 you'll be happy to know I pocketed the quetiapine and predented to take it. I'm not that silly or gone off the edge just yet 🤣

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 it's so wrong on so many levels that we aren't  believed as to what is going on with our own bodies. My doctor was convinced I had relapsed and basically was reluctant to listen until I went back to the psychiatrist that CT'd me. I recorded the hour long appointment where she tried her hardest through questions to lead me to say I was depressed and anxious. Despite being horribly impaired mentally I finally got her to admit I was in serotonin withdrawal. After my Doctor got her notes he finally believed and I told him about SA. One of the things I told him and the psychiatrist was 'imagine having cancer, you have had the tests, it's conclusive. You go to your doctor and he says I don't believe in cancer and I am not going to treat you for it.' I said to them both, do you have any idea how that would destroy a person. Well that is how I feel.' 

[Tigz91]

Hi @SertralineIssues29

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I just wanted to say I'm having  similar issues, going from citalopram to sertraline then back to citalopram and now 5 months on nothing. All the symptoms you mentioned I have and some days they can be severe. The dizziness is so weird as it feels like I'm on a boat or drunk, nothing is spinning just complete loss of balance. Also my heart seems to flutter a lot and beat hard or fast. That one really scares me as I have really bad health anxiety. I have GI problems, eyes ( sore, floaters, blood shot, tired and pressure), heart( flutters, fast and hard), migraines, head pressure, chills, cold hands and feet, sore neck, constant urine, random adrenaline rushes( really scary), agitation, random anxiety, internal vibrations and so many more. Its horrible but I'm determined to never going back on these drugs again. Hope you get some relief soon.

[SertralineIssues29]

1 hour ago, Tigz91 said:

Hi @SertralineIssues29

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I just wanted to say I'm having  similar issues, going from citalopram to sertraline then back to citalopram and now 5 months on nothing. All the symptoms you mentioned I have and some days they can be severe. The dizziness is so weird as it feels like I'm on a boat or drunk, nothing is spinning just complete loss of balance. Also my heart seems to flutter a lot and beat hard or fast. That one really scares me as I have really bad health anxiety. I have GI problems, eyes ( sore, floaters, blood shot, tired and pressure), heart( flutters, fast and hard), migraines, head pressure, chills, cold hands and feet, sore neck, constant urine, random adrenaline rushes( really scary), agitation, random anxiety, internal vibrations and so many more. Its horrible but I'm determined to never going back on these drugs again. Hope you get some relief soon.

Hey @Tigz91 nice of you drop by, it's rough mate I know, today I have literally felt like I can think at all, basically just laid vegtablised in bed and it's been awful, even now I'm trying to remember what I've done today and can't

 

Didn't realise it was possible to have this much brain fog 😂

 

We will get there though mate it's just the battle to end the battles, little by little we will get there so keep up the fight 

[SertralineIssues29]

Sooo just to update today has been a weird one, on one side I am happy the room isn't spinning and I'm not trying to tear my skin off in agony amongst the hallucinations but on the other side I have been blank and basically catatonic all day. Literally couldn't tell you what I ate for lunch the brain fog is that bad

 

I'm still noticing that although it feels like memory loss it isn't actual memory loss as when reminded of something I did back before this all started involbing an embarrassing milk incident 😂 I was able to somewhat picture it, it just felt a bit distorted memory wise

 

Brain fog is thicker than a maccies milkshake and it's scary as hell

 

On a brighter note I took my first cold shower today, that woke me up a bit for a while, I also sat and downloaded and completed some brain training exercises so that was fun, couldn't do it for too long as it made me feel a bit aka like but I'll take it

 

Hope everyone else out there is keeping up the good fight! Love you all

 

SI xx

[SertralineIssues29]

Ohhhh and I've noticed a new symptom, my vision is blurry as all hell, kinda, like my eyes can't focus, feels wierd everything looks distorted but maybe that's party vision and party dpdr  who knows! 😂

[Tigz91]

19 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

Hey @Tigz91 nice of you drop by, it's rough mate I know, today I have literally felt like I can think at all, basically just laid vegtablised in bed and it's been awful, even now I'm trying to remember what I've done today and can't

 

Didn't realise it was possible to have this much brain fog 😂

 

We will get there though mate it's just the battle to end the battles, little by little we will get there so keep up the fight 

We will do mate just a slow rough process, the brain fog can be terrible. Stay strong 💪

[SertralineIssues29]

Guys I really need some support. I have just found out that my father in law who had a small cancer in his lung has had it spread to his heart, he's now in hospital with 2 weeks because he's become delirious through lack of oxygen 

 

I don't know how I'm gonna be able to take this in this state and everything in me is saying take the damn meds and do something so you can see him, I'm ******* losing it here 

 

 

SI xxx

[RachelSusan]

@SertralineIssues29 I feel so bad for you and your father in law. You have so much going on in your life, I know you really need a moment just to feel normal, just to relax. I have a lot of compassion for you. You say take the damn meds, which meds would those be?   Are you in the hospital for Covid or for something else?

[SertralineIssues29]

@RachelSusanStill in for covid  but the psych team has offered me an anti depressant, an anti psychotic and a mood stabiliser 

[SertralineIssues29]

I've had no real windows, I've gotten worse over time, I'm constantly spaced out, constant Head pressure, I can barely see, I'm having dopamine rushes and stuff that feel like I'm on cocaine or something and then this happens, I can't do this 

[RachelSusan]

@SertralineIssues29do you have any idea as to when you get to go home?  How are your oxygen levels? I go a little nuts when I am in the hospital.  I can’t stand the isolation.

 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 taking the meds will not help or stabilize you... I think you know all this but need reassurance. In fact you could be made worse. Are you still testing positive for covid. If you are they won't let you see him. Can you set up a zoom or FaceTime chat with him? This really sucks. Sending hugs.

[SertralineIssues29]

@RachelSusan no not yet, my oxygen is OK, but my blood pressure keeps dropping and raising randomly so they are still worried about that at the moment 

[SertralineIssues29]

Just now, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 taking the meds will not help or stabilize you... I think you know all this but need reassurance. In fact you could be made worse. Are you still testing positive for covid. If you are they won't let you see him. Can you set up a zoom or FaceTime chat with him? This really sucks. Sending hugs.

Yeh I know, I'm not positive but not well enough yet, he's in a different hospital, he's also delirious because he's not getting enough oxygen due to the size of the cancer

 

I could handle all the ******* withdrawals in the world if I didn't feel so spaced out 24/7, I constantly wobble around like I'm drugged outta my mind, I need to do something because my kids are gonna need me in this

[LostInCanada]

6 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

I've had no real windows, I've gotten worse over time, I'm constantly spaced out, constant Head pressure, I can barely see, I'm having dopamine rushes and stuff that feel like I'm on cocaine or something and then this happens, I can't do this 

I really feel you need to try reinstatement. Can you ask the psych team for the smallest dose of sertaline and make a liquid for yourself some how? Or get someone to do it for you.