SertralineIssues29: Sertraline withdrawals I think, please help

[RachelSusan]

@SertralineIssues29  You must be very discouraged with all that is going on.  I hope you can recover quickly and be able to spend time with your father in law. 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 you are between a rock and a hard place. I am so sorry. I just think with your reaction to paracetamol, adding any drug is a huge risk. Can you zoom with your kids? Can your ex help you?

[SertralineIssues29]

1 minute ago, LostInCanada said:

I really feel you need to try reinstatement. Can you ask the psych team for the smallest dose of sertaline and make a liquid for yourself some how? Or get someone to do it for you. 

I've managed to get 50mg sertraline tablets they try and give me at night but I have no way of measuring dose right now apart from just biting a tiny edge off the tablet 

[SertralineIssues29]

Just now, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 you are between a rock and a hard place. I am so sorry. I just think with your reaction to paracetamol, adding any drug is a huge risk. Can you zoom with your kids? Can your ex help you?

Yeh that paracetamol buisness freaked me out, I feel like I've got some weird brain diesese or something, I can barely walk it's awful. Yeh I call my kids on WhatsApp and stuff but it's so hard when I feel so loopy and stuff 

 

Sorry for all the complaining I just ain't quite sure what to do, feel lost

[SertralineIssues29]

3 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

@SertralineIssues29  You must be very discouraged with all that is going on.  I hope you can recover quickly and be able to spend time with your father in law. 

I would love that to happen, to wake up and feel normal enough to go see him, things just keep getting worse, half the time I don't even know who or where I am, no memory or future it's so weird, just a small window would be lovely or some miraculous recovery lol, we can dream

[SertralineIssues29]

Eurghh and now I've stressed myself out and my head is vibrating and pulsing, the hallucinations have started and my eyes have gone blurry, I've ***** this up big time lol

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 this stress will not help. Try to find ways to do what you can. Writing to your kids or your father in law might help. Can a friend get you a pill cutter, glass bottle, syringe? Sorry I am at a loss. 

[SertralineIssues29]

Just now, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 this stress will not help. Try to find ways to do what you can. Writing to your kids or your father in law might help. Can a friend get you a pill cutter, glass bottle, syringe? Sorry I am at a loss. 

I can ask her, she's coming to see me tomorrow so maybe I can see if she can pick that stuff up, that's not a bad idea to be fair 

[SertralineIssues29]

Thankyou everyone in here for your support @RachelSusan @LostInCanada jeez I know that was a whole bunch of negativity and everyone is going through their own struggles. So from the bottom of my heart, thankyou

It means alot that people who I've never met would open themselves with suggestions and support when we're all going through something that most people never have to go through

 

Your incredible 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 read up on making a liquid. It only stores refrigerated for about 4 days. Use bottled water if you can. Just keep storing up the pills so you have some to work with when you get out till you get a prescription. How old are your kids? They get you aren't well, that is why you are in the hospital. They don't expect more than you can give. ❤️

[SertralineIssues29]

Just now, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 read up on making a liquid. It only stores refrigerated for about 4 days. Use bottled water if you can. Just keep storing up the pills so you have some to work with when you get out till you get a prescription. How old are your kids? They get you aren't well, that is why you are in the hospital. They don't expect more than you can give. ❤️

I will do that, I keep putting them in my bag 

 

I have a boy, Rudi who's 8 and twin boys, Ezra and Austin who are 4, they're amazing little'uns, its so hard to feel I'm missing out on everything, to be fair their mum and me had a misunderstanding when I thought this was a mental health condition, I explained I've basically disturbed my cns and it causes all sorts of horrid symptoms and she now has a bit more understanding of it and as to why I can't just take a magic tablet and be better, she's also aware this can take months to years to heal and has told me whatever I do whether it be healing or meds that the kids are always safe and not to worry. It's the first time we have managed to talk like that

 

I showed here a recovery story on here of a person who had an adverse reaction and showed her the host of symptoms that come with the recovery, she seemed funny about everything at first but telling her more about it and showing her SA definitely gave her more of an idea 

[SertralineIssues29]

OK so daily update again day "whatever the hell" of no sert. What a ******* day, so it started as usual, woke up delirious, brain vibrating and pulsing all over the place, felt hungover as hell

 

Then my friend came to visit me and this caused a dopamine rush (I'm assuming) I felt hyper and loopy like I'd taken a gram of cocaine, lightheaded as hell although the brain sensations went away during this I was still feeling really disconnected and my eyes were wobbly like I was drugged up. On the plus side during this "manic" phase I didn't have the debilitating brain fog, it was there but I could remember some stuff, shame I felt loopy and high through it all

 

Then some bad news (read above for that) 

This sent me into a spiral and I've gone a ***** up, I've spiraled and now feel drunk and high, I've got my hallucinations back, the blood feels like it's pooled in my head and my brain is currently buzzing and pulsing all over, my vision has also gone dark again and the bloody dpdr is through the roof, I feel so drugged up and drowsy

 

This is a damn curse to go through but thankyou to the massive support I have recieved here today

 

I have decided to save up my tablets of sertraline and reinstate soon, I know I'm late but this is pure **** and I'm not sure I'm strong enough anymore 

 

Tomorrow is a new day and we shall see what it brings 

[LostInCanada]

33 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

I have a boy, Rudi who's 8 and twin boys, Ezra and Austin who are 4, they're amazing little'uns, its so hard to feel I'm missing out on everything

What a great motivation to bring this around. I think it is great to write letters to them about your feelings toward them now that they can read when they are older. Hopefully soon this will be behind you. Do all you can to get healthy. We will heal. ❤️

[SertralineIssues29]

Ahh damn, to all those following I have bad news, 2 weeks has turned into 48 hours if he is lucky, this is heartbreaking news 

 

I'm gonna try and not spiral again but jeez I could do with a break 

 

This is a nightmare

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 sorry to hear. ♥️

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 4/25/2023 at 4:16 AM, SertralineIssues29 said:

So after the massive rush of all the aka and stuff yesterday today is weird, I feel so brain dead 

 

Lack of emotions and memory at all, like I've got some sort of veil over my head and eyes and can't connect. If anything this is scarier than the flip out yesterday because I don't know what to feel, inside I feel panic but on the outside nothing

 

I want to cry but that ain't happening, I can't remember anything right now, it's like something has turned off completley, nothing feels familiar or has any sort of emotional tie to it, **** I hate this more than the anxiety and panic

 

I'm wondering if it's like a mental comedown from the intense day that was yesterday, is this ahedonia? It feels dangerous and combined with the severe brain fog makes me feel like a lifeless robot

 

God knows but I guess I'll wait it out 

this just started for me ive had it for a week!! i already felt this way but not too extreme and it just got worse,, and my skin is numb :(( scary stuff 

[SertralineIssues29]

So I jist wanted to see if anyone else has this symptom and how they handled it

 

Every now and again I have these episodes that feel like I'm coming up on lsd or something, I have to lay down, my vision goes all over the place, colours become way to bright, my brain becomes mush and cannot think whatsoever and if it does gaver thoughts they are completley nonsense thoughts about random things, sometimes I even get warping visual disturbances like floors and walls warping and moving, these can last for a few minutes to a few hours and usually I just lay down and end up sleeping through them once my brain gets too overwhelmed

 

These are my most hated part of this all and frankly the scariest, I'm hoping someone else can shed a little light, thank you! 

 

SI xxx

[SertralineIssues29]

16 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

this just started for me ive had it for a week!! i already felt this way but not too extreme and it just got worse,, and my skin is numb :(( scary stuff 

I've read through your topic before and I'm so sorry your suffering too

 

Yeh it's incredible the things that these "medications" can put people through, your never alone here though, remember that, we are all here for you. 

 

Keep in touch 

 

SI xx

[SertralineIssues29]

OK I'm kinda freaking out here guys so a little advice or reassuring words, I've heard of people's blood pressure going wonky during withdrawals but I've got something strange, so when tested my blood pressure is perfectly fine on my right side, when the cuff is then on my left arm it's way lower. 

 

This is particularly scary because alot of my head symptoms also align with my left, the pressure, throbbing, pulsing feeling, twitches and whatever else are mostly left sided, aswell as the whole "my head feels like it's full of concrete feeling on my days when I can't think at all, all feel left sided, I've even had days where its feels like my brain is empty on the left and numb, also I've noticed my left foot is often alot colder than my right at times

 

Is this just circulation issues from the WD? Because I've had an mri on my neck and head, chest xrays and a ct scan done I'm gonna go ahead and still say is WD, it's just so spooky and unsettling

 

Thanks in advance 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 I would chalk it up to WD. It's probably CNS related. Your body is trying so hard to find normal and is in overtime at the moment tweaking and recalibrating bits and pieces. This is just my opinion. Everytime I panic thinking something is medically wrong with me I step back and go 'it's withdrawal ' and sure enough it settles.

[SertralineIssues29]

Just now, LostInCanada said:

@SertralineIssues29 I would chalk it up to WD. It's probably CNS related. Your body is trying so hard to find normal and is in overtime at the moment tweaking and recalibrating bits and pieces. This is just my opinion. Everytime I panic thinking something is medically wrong with me I step back and go 'it's withdrawal ' and sure enough it settles.

Yehhh I figured as much, just wish the left side of my damn body would calm down 😂

 

I had a period of numbness or parathesia in my left leg so severe I couldn't walk for a couple days, I ended up in a stroke unit for it, of course I hadn't had a stroke and all tests confirmed this but jeeez it's completley bizzare what the body does during these times 

[SertralineIssues29]

Guys I'm freaking, I feel slightly normal right now and it's weird, not completely normal, but waaaay more than recently, I found myself randomly wanting to go get a peircing or something (I have a lot for reference) 😂 or wanting to listen to my favourite deathcore bands.... This is wierdddd lol

[SertralineIssues29]

Day something something without sert: ok so a weird one, the morning was filled with brain fog, delusions, paranoia, head sensations (pulsing and throbbing, some vibrations) ear fluttering and other stuff

 

It got worse as the day went on and by midday I was basically psychotic with worry, I had one of my episodes that made me feel like I was on acid and passed out during this for half hour, then throughout the day still got worse

 

I'm now writing this at 22:49pm and woah! Clouds parted and I found myself wanting to do something normal for me, like get a peircing or listen to heavy metal, I'm not completley ok, still have slight head pressure, a bit of dpdr and some anxiety but the mass of clouds from the day went away a bit, my windows are notoriously short but this has been nice, frontal lobe pressure is annoying though

 

I'm not gonna jinx it at all but I like this feeling and pray for more of them

 

Onto the next day and see what fun it brings aye

 

Peace and love people 

 

SI xx

[SertralineIssues29]

OK I'm tripping out and having a bit of a panic attack right now, I've been reading through posts and someone mentioned mercury poisoning and amalgam fillings, I've got 2 in my mouth and they're in bad shape as well as the rest of my teeth and I'm scared, I'm still getting worse after 5months with barely any windows apart from occasional nighttime hours and I my symptoms line up so well with mercury stuff, the psychotic symptoms, the circulation issues, the memory problems that cause me to forgot what I've done in a day, the random outbursts of Lsd visuals and feelings

 

I'm so ******* scared right now guys, I've even convinced myself Ive got cancer, encephalitis or some form of toxicity from mould or something, my house was full of black mould for years as I battled with my landlord to fix it. I also heard about something called wet brain which is fatal and happens to people who drink which correlates to gaba and since all my issues stem from a benzo of a measly 0.5 milligrams making me feel like I was high and still haven't come down that's now scaring me, I'm just so ******* scared,

 

My circulation is hella bad at the moment on my left side for some reason, cold feet and tingling and I've also got this weird pain just above my behind and above my left ear in my head that feels like someone is just pressing on it, when I lay down I can feel my pulse in my head to the point it actually makes my head bob, plus when I get really bad days of not being able to think at all and just complete brain scramble it feels like it's the left side of my brain is numb and empty. Ohhhh and to top it all off, my left ear feels full and sometimes I have this weird fluttering noise in it like something is in there WTF! 

 

HOW DOES ANYBODY DO THIS, I'M TERRIFIED AND ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE MY BODY AND MIND ARE SHUTTING DOWN ON ME! 

 

I want off this ******* ride, I want this bad trip, lsd feeling, high as a kite 24/7 vision distorting, mind bending, memory wiping bad ******* trip to end one way or another!! 

 

Death still terrifies me but would also be a welcome release at this point 

 

 

[Shep]

@SertralineIssues29 Please have a read of this thread:

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria and obsession with symptoms

[SertralineIssues29]

I just want to say thankyou to everyone here for the support I recieved, I'll be honest I don't think I'm strong enough

 

This community and the stories here need to go on until people realise what these drugs do to lives, people like blu, muddles and many other have and will continue to lose their life from the grief and torture they go through. 

 

This infliction has whittled me down to a husk, everyday is and awful, lsd trip feeling day filled with thoughts I never have had in my life

 

I want everyone to know that before December 2022 I was a loving, kind, endearing dad who enjoyed gaming, tattoos, heavy metal and skateboarding. 

I had dreams of moving to Brighton to be with my boys and leading a life by the sea, leading a life full of adventure and sun

 

Now I spend all day with the floors warping, my memories are wiped, my thoughts are none existent and if they are they're filled with terror and fear, headaches from hell, vomiting, seizures, all these things brought on by a ******* tablet I took to make myself "better"

 

If my boys read this, Daddy loves you boys, always has done and that never changed 

 

 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 hey buddy... don't go down that road. No permanent decisions for temporary situations. This is the drug doing this, this is not you. You can heal. Are you still in the hospital? Yes, your boys need you and love you. ❤️

[Shep]

@SertralineIssues29 LostinCanada is spot on. You need to get through this for your family. It's worth the struggle and this IS temporary. It does get better.

 

If you feel that you need to reach out for in-person support, here are some resources:

 

For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal

 

18 hours ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

I want everyone to know that before December 2022 I was a loving, kind, endearing dad who enjoyed gaming, tattoos, heavy metal and skateboarding. 

I had dreams of moving to Brighton to be with my boys and leading a life by the sea, leading a life full of adventure and sun

 

Sounds like a beautiful dream to hold onto. Here's an interesting article you might enjoy as a good distraction:

 

Can Listening to Heavy Metal Be Therapeutic?

 

We also have a couple of great music threads here:

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Music Therapy / Music for Wellness and Healing

 

While music may not be something you can enjoy at the same deep level as you did prior to withdrawal, you may find it's still helpful as it lets your nervous system know that everything is okay. 

[Greatful]

@SertralineIssues29  

You awe not alone SI.... I can so relate to how scary this is.  You can do this and make it to your pillow every night.  This is not you,  this is from the drugs causing temporary chemical brain injury....Find what will help you get through the moment and this horrendous experience....Be it educating yourself about these drugs, so much information out there on the web here, you tube,  learning coping skills, reaching out to others....  Read success stories  I like reading Pugs, he had so many scary symptoms and he made it through it 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14913-pug-your-miracle-is-coming-hang-on/

 

I have times where I feel a heady high feeling....Not a good high but a out to lunch high, almost drunk....My memory is bad too,  some days I can hardly remember what did the day before, I have to focus and then I can think a few things like a dream.  I have had unexplainable fear, crazy paranoia's.  When this first started happening to me I was  afraid of the wind outside, I was worried that it might change in to a mans voice  and talk to me....I get so dizzy at time that the floor feels like it is going to swallow me up or that I am going to faint.

I get cold or hot feeling on my skin, tingling throughout my body...there are so many physical and emotion things that go on in withdrawal.

 

On 4/28/2023 at 2:41 PM, SertralineIssues29 said:

My circulation is hella bad at the moment on my left side for some reason, cold feet and tingling and I've also got this weird pain just above my behind and above my left ear in my head that feels like someone is just pressing on it, when I lay down I can feel my pulse in my head to the point it actually makes my head bob, plus when I get really bad days of not being able to think at all and just complete brain scramble it feels like it's the left side of my brain is numb and empty. Ohhhh and to top it all off, my left ear feels full and sometimes I have this weird fluttering noise in it like something is in there

My brain has more painful odd sensations too....tingling, cold or hot spots, numb, crushing in to name a few, not to mention my thinking is fractured.  Sometimes I think if I looked into one of those funny mirrors at a fair both my brain and face would be/look distorted...M ears feel pressure at times too....Then they are very sensitive to noise...

Please remember that thoughts are just that thoughts....that's all it can do to you....Do you meditate at all?

 

 

Have you read through this 

http://Scrountz's 10 Steps for Managing Withdrawal/ADR Symptoms: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/26529-techniques-for-managing-an-adverse-drug-reaction-or-cold-turkey-withdrawal/

 

Have you ever read the story.  Please read through it when you get a change 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/10914-what-is-happening-in-your-brain/

 

 

 printed these or save these to take out when you need encouragement

 

When withdrawal anxiety is high and I am in 'fight' or 'flight 'or 'freeze' mode, it is difficult for me to be grounded and to

maintain perspective. I lose sight of the fact that this experience is temporary and that it is leading me to my long-

awaited recovery. I am consumed with what is happening and it can make me seem self-absorbed and uninterested in my loved ones. This is understandable, as I spend all my time and energy managing the bizarre symptoms, breathing through the pain,and holding on for dear life. I miss important moments in  the lives of those around me and I also overlook just how courageous and persevering I have been and continue to be. So today, I acknowledge my strength and I accept that while I may spend much of my time consumed with coping, this does not mean that I am self-centered or selfish. I am just hypervigilant in the context of being constantly aware of my symptoms, and of my environment, always looking for perceived threats. I know that I will revert to normal when this is over. i am compassionate and gentle with myself, in the meantime, knowing that no matter how intense and overwhelming my symptoms are, I will cope well. I trust that eventually I will begin to notice improvements and when the timing is right for me, this challenge will end with my recovery.

 

 

Don't give up on your healing. I know it's difficult to remain hopeful because everyday you struggle with the torture of the intense and bizarre symptoms and it seems as if nothing is changing. So I am here to be the rational, "non-withdrawal" voice in your head and to remind you of the reality : that no matter how long it is taking, this challenge is temporary. One day you will wake up and something will be different. It will be more than a "window", it will be the long-awaited break, the last lap, the finishing line in view.

Then it will be over, and you will be able to navigate your way out from under the rubble, brush yourself off, pick up the pieces and get on with your life.

What awaits you on the other side is worth you holding on for. Nothing in life will ever again faze you. You will have a different perspective on life, and it won't take much to make you feel content. 

 

There are days when you may know mostly darkness—-- your mind, body and surrounded by fear.  It is difficult to believe on those days that there can be any light in your space. These are the days that you must dig down deep to find the strength that will help you to see the fears for what they are and still emerge with hope in your spirit.   There is no easy explanation for the process that you have to encounter.  But you must believe that even though you do not understand how everything is working, your healing is taking place.  As frustrating as this is for you, know that you will see the light of your healing over time.  Waiting for something is never easy, but sometimes, that’s all you can do.  Wait. Believe in your body’s ability to heal.  The darkness will ot be there forever, so please hold one.

Remind yourself that it can be normal for you to experience the darkness and anxiety in withdrawal.  Try not to allow this to over shadow the strength you have inside.  Focus on being kind, gentle and loving towards yourself.

 

Keep reaching out, you are not alone...At first it may be all you can do to make it to your pillow  but you can you have.  You can do this SI

 

Greatful🌞

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rizzy33]

@SertralineIssues29

Hey man I'm a Dad with two kiddos myself. 13 yo and an 8 yo. I have a lot of the same symptoms as you. There are days that I think it would be easier to leave this world but I know that's not me. That was never me until a quit this posion. The worse thing that could happen to me is to lose one of my kids or my wife because they are my world. They are why I get up every morning. I have told my 13 yo a little about what's going on with me. I told her I was sorry I'm so weak because I'm used to being the strong dad that could fix anything. She told me "Dad when you are 85(I'm 37 now) I will still think you are the strongest man I know". That made me realize that not only are they my world but I am theirs and I don't want to take that away from them. We have to keep going! Put one foot in front of the other, no matter how hard it is. You mean the world to your boys, don't take their world away. Let's get to the other side of this. 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29 sending hugs and love. We are going to write our success stories too and people will think if they could do it so can I! Healing is happening even when we think it's impossible.

[Greatful]

@SertralineIssues29  sending encouragement your way.  Are you out of the hospital yet?

[LostInCanada]

Hey Trai, please give us an update. ❤️

[SertralineIssues29]

Hello to everyone who's probably been worried. Soo what can I say, I did stick to what I said which is a testiment to how awful these meds can be. 

 

I did attempt a number of times in a few days some very bad attempts this led to me being hospitalised for 2 weeks, in this time I faked taking meds and pretended to be alright, I eventually got some leave and decided I wasn't coming back so I left. 

 

I've been home a couple weeks now and the first week was horrible, seizures and hallucinations all combined. But as i would like to add that covid obviously messed me up bad too. 

 

So it seems I'm one of the unlucky ones who had minor psychosis as there withdrawal symptoms. I now know I also suffer with silent migraines which present with aura and trippy Lsd brain on top of my dpdr 🙄 sooooo how am I now? Well let me explain my story so far to all who might wanna read it. 

Spent my whole life "normal" with a small amount of anxiety that I suspect was kicked off by stopping smoking weed after years of use and a traumatic upbringing I became agrophobic and spoke to a gp who jumped me on the medication train without so much of a second thought or a whiff of therapy

Fast forward after years on and off sertraline 

I had a horrible reaction to 3 meds in December 2022. Sertaline 50mg made me suicidal, lorazepam 0.5mg first time made me hallucinate and gave me akathisia, promethazine 25mg made me restless and anxious. I then went through the system wondering what was wrong for the last 6 months. I was in and out of psych wards all diagnosing me with BPD, EUPD, BIPOLAR 2, ANXIETY, MDD, DEPRESSION WITH PSYCHOTIC SYMPTOMS. To be honest I don't think any of them knew what the hell was going on 😂 eventually culminating in a stroke like seizure that left me numb in my legs and a hospital stay that helped me catch my first case of covid 19 🙄 which then progressed into long covid which I deal with now... What a damn joke lol after covid I ended up becoming very lost and confused, brain fog was basically delirium, I forgot my kids names, faces I knew, family members, didn't know where I was and eventually slipped into a psychotic suicidal episode lasting a couple weeks. Once I got over that I basically faked my way out of hospital to come home convinced that if I was gonna die I was gonna do it in my own bed. Buuuut here I am still alive and better than I have been in a long time, I'm not perfect but I'm about 75% healed for sure

Symptoms I've had and what are gone? 

 

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING! 

 

-Anxiety (manageable now) 

-Depression (pretty good now) 

-Self harm (never again) 

-Dpdr (still there but not as bad) 

-Migraines (every week or so now) 

-Seizure like episodes (pretty sure these coincide with my migraines) 

-Anger (still irritable sometimes) 

-Suicidal thoughts (ignorable now) 

-Suicide attempts (3 but never again) 

-Vision issues (snow and floaters still here) 

-Warped thoughts (mostly gone) 

-Gut issues (nearly gone) 

-Psychosis (for about 2 weeks I was an angry, hallucinating, suicidal mess) 

-Brain fog (this was so bad I would forget my kids faces and names, it's mostly gone but I'm a little hazy) 

-Agoraphobia (50% gone I'd say) 

-Hypomania (mostly gone, small excitements set me off a little) 

-Circulation issues, blood pressure issues and other wierd body problems (mainly gone) 

-Head pressure from hell (my head is still slightly heavy but no where near as bad) 

-Brain symptoms like pulsing, burning, zapping (80% gone) 

-Lsd thoughts (basically gone but appear occasionally) 

-Insomnia ( I sleep like the dead now) 

-Fatigue (getting there) 

 

Boy I've been through the runner, never did I think I would go through something like this bu as I sit here now I feel about 75% myself. I'm not perfect but I can manage a day, some worse than others but it's progress

 

I'm now hypersensitive to even paracetamol and large meals make me feel stoned so I have to watch that but I have reintroduced decaff coffee and been fine

I want to say to anyone reading this thinking it's the end like I did, it's not, life will go on after this and you will see some improvements, I didn't barely have a window for six months but yet as I sit here with my coffee and my xbox after spending the day recording vocal work for my heavy metal stuff and spending time cleaning my house I notice that these things feel like they're becoming less forced, waking up is no longer something I fear, going to the shop for milk isn't a mission and just surviving has become a day to day rather than second to second. 

Noone should suffer like people here have and it's a shame this isn't more understood but we will come out the otherside 

 

So what am I doing with the small improvements I'm making? Well as I said, I've got back in to metal vocals. If anyone wants to see I'm on an app called Smule, my user is CvltOvSalem so if you like metal come say hi! I've got a move planned to go be closer to my kids by the beach so that should be happening soon and I'm also working on filling up my body with tattoos, I've decided to get a little surviving antidepressants tattoo as a reminder of the support I recieved here and to remember the hardship I've gone through so far and what I can overcome in the future 

 

This whole experience I'll admit has been mostly negative, from stable, gothic looking, tattoo artist, metal Vocalist, dad of 3 boys all the way down to nothing but pajama wearing, not bathing, slurring, psychotic, unrecognisable random man. It's been a journey but one that's now on the Up and that man is coming back with a ******* bang! 

 

I would love to put a things that helped me section but I'll be honest for me, it was simply 2 things. NO Meds and by that I mean no paracetamol because that messed me up, no antibiotics because they also messed me up. The second thing is time, I know that's a bitter pill to swallow (see what I did there? 😂) but it's all too true

 

Thankyou for reading this if you do and to all out there who need to hear this I will shout it for you: IT WILL GET BETTER! everyone's time line is different but eventually you will work yours out

 

Feel free to message me anytime everyone

 

From the weird dude with the tattoos and the face full of peircings AKA sertraline issues 29 AKA Traiton Rudkin this is my story so far xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

[LostInCanada]

@SertralineIssues29good to hear from you. Have you moved yet? Just glad you have gotten some decent windows. I wrote myself a note during a window giving myself encouragement for the next wave and here I am. Keep being kind and gentle with yourself especially during the hard times. Don't overdo it in the windows and try to find joy in every day. ❤️

[Tigz91]

Hi @SertralineIssues29

 

it's good to hear your feeling a bit better and getting good windows. I'm 7 months of CT and I think I'm having a really bad wave. All of the symptoms you listed are exactly what I experience and more. The brain fog can be so debilitating as it feels like you just have a cloud in your head. I also notice this is so much worst when I eat especially if it's a bigger meal. I also struggle with health anxiety now and believe I am seriously ill and dying a lot of the time.Hope you continue to heal.