HopefulToHeal:Off Sertraline and emotionless

[HopefulToHeal]

I’m not sure where to post this question so I will do it on my thread. Does anyone have any experience with using alphalipoic acid, Choline, or Curcumin? The other supplements listed below are covered on this site in other places. I know starting low and slow and one at a time is important. I just wasn’t sure if these have been tried by any others on this site. My apologies if this have been covered in another section. Also, it says these were shown to facilitate nerve healing in non-human animals but it could be promising.

 

“Numerous nutrients have been investigated to prevent the negative sequelae of PNI. Alpha-lipoic acid, cytidine diphosphate-choline (CDP Choline), curcumin, melatonin, vitamin B12, and vitamin E have demonstrated notable success in improving recovery following PNI within animal models. While animal studies show ample evidence that various supplements may improve recovery after PNI, similar evidence in human patients is limited.”

[HopefulToHeal]

Last night I experienced another window. I was door dashing yesterday and the sunlight was very intense as it always is in Colorado and I was very much experiencing derealization and awful brain fog. I was finding it very difficult to interact with anyone and so I was keeping to myself and feeling very alone and isolated all day. Sometime in the early evening after 5 I took an order at a pizza place in a nice town about 20 miles from my town. An older lady walked in and was door dashing too and so I started forcing conversation as we both waited for our orders. She was very sweet and as I was speaking to her the shame of what I’m doing to make a living started to lift. Then a gentleman walked in and he too was door dashing and treated it like a full time job as I am at the moment. The combination of feeling a part of and seeing that maybe I could move to this quiet town someday if I work hard have me a sense of hope that I haven’t had in years. Sometime in that moment I started to feel different. I felt relaxed and even some contentment. Shortly after the two other dashers received their orders and headed out and I actually felt a small  connection with them as they said goodbye and good luck. Moments later a woman (with no wedding band) around my age walked in and so I decided to make small talk and see if I could formulate 1 sentence without feeling “mentally handicapped”. Much to my surprise I was able to chat with her without going brain dead or having my words get stuck (prior to withdrawal this was never a thing). As the evening turned into night I continued to feel more and more like myself. I was rocking out to music and proud of myself for continuing to work so hard even if I have felt that this job is “beneath” me.

Backing up I also want to note that much earlier in the day I intentionally put on 2 songs that I recently have discovered can help me reach my grief and allow me to sob. As I was getting into the first song I was deep in my head and barely able to make out where I was in this very familiar city (due to derealization) and I looked up to see the cemetery that my grandparents are buried in. I haven’t had a dash take me by there but maybe twice in the last 3 months. I don’t know if I believe in God or not anymore but in that moment it felt as if my acceptance of derealization being my constant companion and getting in touch with my pain intentionally brought me to a crossroad literally where my soul was getting what it needed to heal just a bit in that moment. I cried hysterically as I drove to the customer’s house and felt that what I had just experienced was meant to be. 
 

I don’t know if it’s acceptance, time, God, or the body and brains innate ability to heal against all odds but I can say yesterday was a powerful day for me with a brief but powerful window. Getting to see that I’m still me despite all of the horror I’ve experienced feeling like the drugs snuffed me out was so relieving and beautiful. I can feel the window closing as I write this which tells me a positive mindset and gratitude is going to be important today. Grateful for another window into the true me!

[Shep]

17 hours ago, HopefulToHeal said:

I was rocking out to music and proud of myself for continuing to work so hard even if I have felt that this job is “beneath” me.

 

 

Hopeful, your entire post is such a brilliant testimony to resiliency that comes from fighting back against the learned helplessness that this experience can create. Many people working jobs such as DoorDash are also dealing with hardships that make doing anything else out of reach, at least for a season. And that's all this is - something you're doing until you can get into a full re-build once you have fewer symptoms. 

 

I was only able to stay out of the workforce for a few months during the acute phase and then had to get a job to keep from ending up homeless. I took a job that barely paid minimum wage and moved into a much cheaper apartment. I've since moved onto much better employment and after two promotions, my income is now very good. I work a lot of overtime and I'm still living in a cheap apartment, allowing me to save over half my gross pay to build up a retirement nest egg. This makes me sleep so much better at night. 

 

There's no shame in your current job and it's great to read how you're connecting to your follow travelers on the path you're taking. Your current job is simply part of a process and once you're able to do something better, you'll look back on these days as an important step in the right direction. You'll also be amazed at how much easier the normal stressors in your work-life are after having built up your muscles - both physical and psychological - as you transition into new job and relationship opportunities. 

 

17 hours ago, HopefulToHeal said:

I can feel the window closing as I write this which tells me a positive mindset and gratitude is going to be important today. Grateful for another window into the true me!

 

Keep going, Hopeful. These windows are only a glimpse of the great life that you're going to build for yourself. 

 

Thank you for posting your experience! 

[pianoblueman1000]

Thanks for the post!  

[HopefulToHeal]

I always write when I’m in a window but right now I’m in a bad wave. My derealization today has been so hard to cope with. It feels like I’m not in reality and I feel like I’m in purgatory. Visually things are way off but it’s extremely difficult to describe. It’s almost like a form of double vision, extremely foggy visual processing, difficulty in tracking moving objects, uncomfortable keeping my gaze in one spot. It’s like being in a weird dream like state but knowing I’m awake and that consequences are real. Strangely I’m finding reprieve in interacting with people today. Usually it’s quite the opposite when I’m in this state. Also, my perception of time is distorted but I find that it’s going by quicker than normal. Usually minutes feel like hours. I’d like to file a complaint with management ie. my brain. Hey brain I didn’t ask for this. Thanks! 🤣 

[Shep]

@HopefulToHeal Very accurate description of derealization. Sounds like you're coping well with a very difficult symptom. Sometimes mindfulness exercises can help with dp/dr. Bringing awareness to what you hear, see, feel, touch, and taste can make the world more *real*, if that makes sense. 

 

Thank you for including posts on both your windows and waves. It brings the perfect balance for what this experience is like. 

[HopefulToHeal]

This weekend my wave was at a peak. I believe I am also experiencing Depersonalization along with my Derealization after doing some research on both states of consciousness. This last week was so difficult to get through and I started to lose hope of things getting better again. It always feels like this will never end when I’m in a wave and when I’m in a window I quickly forget how bad the waves are. This morning I was really losing hope of hanging on and was in a bad place. I don’t know what got me out of bed but I made a healthy breakfast in line with my strict diet I’m adhering too and went off to work.

 

 At 4:44 pm I entered another window. The DP/DR makes these waves feel so much longer than they actually are. I believe my last window was a week ago and I’m very grateful for this window. Historically for me they last 1 to 2 days at most but again I really needed this window and will take it!

[HopefulToHeal]

I had a crazy experience today. I was in a dark place in my mind today meaning extreme depression, hopeless, suicidal, a feeling of something dark consuming my internal organs on the right side of my body, right side body weakness, and despair. I realized I couldn’t fight the feelings or mood anymore so I drew my attention to the darkness consuming me from the inside and stopped trying to run from it. After a few hours the sensation began to change and slowly dissolve. The soul crushing despair started to lighten. In a matter of a relatively short amount of time I started to feel “good”. I tried focusing on all that was good about how I was feeling. Then I realized I could feel the music playing on the radio so I cranked it up and blasted my music for a while. Then I started sobbing tears of great relief. It was as if I knew I wasn’t going to stay like this and that I would get my life back. I had to park my vehicle and let myself just break down and sob. I cried so hard and it was such a relief. Unfortunately and the frustrating thing is that shortly after experiencing this great upheaval of strong emotion and getting chills while feeling the music my body and mind started to go numb again. Not long after I started feeling that sensation in my organs again and the despair and very low mood. It is so disheartening to have these huge swings so quickly. I just want to feel good again. This is such torture and is so frightening when I go numb again. I wonder am I just being tortured or is this a sign of healing? I know the waves and windows pattern is a thing but every time I go through this it makes me wonder if I’m doomed to this pattern of tiny windows for life. I’m just really feeling defeated these past few days. I think the change in season is hitting me hard. Plus yesterday triggered a trauma anniversary for me after witnessing a car wreck. I developed secondary trauma when I worked a horrific car wreck back in Sept 2018. I know this is just a bad time of year for me but I have a hard time believing things will improve. I’m ready for my life back and unfortunately I have no control over any of this.

 

 Ending on a good note I purchased a DP/DR workbook and it gave me so much valuable perspective on the condition. My symptoms with DP/DR did not affect me in the same way at all today and for that I am grateful. I guess I have a lot to be thankful for. I got to hang out with a friend and socialize after work and I was able to work a full day today despite leaving work early yesterday due to the trauma trigger. Hopefully I’m training my brain to know that I can keep going despite really hard circumstances and feelings.

[Shep]

On 9/14/2023 at 3:22 AM, HopefulToHeal said:

Hopefully I’m training my brain to know that I can keep going despite really hard circumstances and feelings.

 

I think there's a lot of truth to this. You're on the road to not only healing from withdrawal, but developing resiliency at a level most people never achieve. Keep moving forward, Hopeful. Sounds like you're going through the usual windows and waves. Very glad to read you found a book that's helpful. 

[HopefulToHeal]

I am really struggling to hold on right now. It feels like I will never come back from this hell. I don’t see how my brain can be so dysfunctional right now and somehow recover. I feel so far gone at this point. Is it typical for things to get so much worse 3 or 4 months in and still be able to recover? I am feeling the stress of the lack of support from my family and I am having a hard time believing I can do this. I’m barely keeping my nose above water and every time I have my little boy it makes things so much harder. I just wish I could feel the love that I had for him before I got off these meds. It’s so ***** up what these drugs have done to my emotions!!!!

[pianoblueman1000]

Hang in there! Just think how strong we will be once we get through this and how happy we will be once we get through this!

[HopefulToHeal]

Thank you for your kind words Piano Man.

 

I am doing much better this morning. My mood is up and I’m feeling motivated to work and keep making progress in my life. This can change on a dime for me but I am grateful for the boost today. I’m gonna stay on the path and do my best today. I am starting to realize I need to prioritize socializing. I’ve been so isolated for over 3 months and telling myself I can’t handle socializing. I’ve been limiting myself and that is going to change. 

[HopefulToHeal]

My DP/DR was awful today but at the same time I felt “high” and care free!? Super weird symptoms. I was walking through a beautiful part of the local college campus while working and it was like I was enjoying the scenery and perfect weather and at the same time not really there and not getting to enjoy it. It was nice and terrible all at the same time. 
 

Just after lunch my DP/DR faded over the course of seconds to minutes and I was back in reality. That part was awesome but the feelings that faded back in with reality were not awesome. This was such an odd experience. Once I was back in reality I had to be very conscious of my inner self talk. When I would catch myself catastrophizing or looking at what is still not functioning in my brain I would stop the narrative. This helped quite a bit and allowed me to stay in this windows more or less the rest of the day. I can tell when I’m thinking negatively as I get a strong terrible feeling in my stomach instantly. 
 

Though I would call this a window today I did have a really hard time speaking with people and felt dumb again. I was able to keep at it and managed to have some decent conversation with a couple folks. Also, I was off balance and a little dizzy when I would get out of my car to grab orders. I was able to feel music which is always nice. It’s strange how some things will come back online at the same time others go offline. I’m always grateful when the anhedonia lifts along with the DP/DR so I will take this type of window any day! Here’s to more healing and good days!!

[pianoblueman1000]

Thanks for sharing

[HopefulToHeal]

I am currently 3 days into a really rough wave. My DP/DR and dissociation are constant and very debilitating and scary. I was able to rest the last 2 days but I am right back into the thick of it the minute I go outside into the sunlight. I need to make a little money tonight so I have to door dash and can’t take the evening off.

 

 Visually everything is way off and certain surfaces almost look distorted like warped/ or bubbled up. My phone and the ground mostly look this way. Anything flat that I’m focusing on takes on this characteristic.

 

 Memory and my ability to comprehend simple things is severely impaired as well.

 

I know this is withdrawal and that gives me the strength the power through and have faith that this too shall pass.

 

I could use some support today though!

[Shep]

@HopefulToHeal Please be careful, Hopeful. While I get the importance of having an income stream, make sure you're okay to drive. Can you take a few days off? Please think in terms of "in the long run." A few days off is much better than a car crash. 

 

Do you have close friends or family who could help out financially or with groceries, etc. until you're in a better financial place? Could you move to a less expensive place, etc. to lessen your monthly expenses? 

 

Have you looked into remote work or finding a job that you could do in person that's close to where you live that wouldn't involve needing to drive? 

[RachelSusan]

@HopefulToHeal I am sorry to read that you are having a difficult time right now.  The symptoms you describe are consistent with withdrawal and you are correct, they will pass.  I hope they pass quickly for you. 

 

I sat and read your posts since August and I am very impressed with how you are handling yourself while going through withdrawal.  You are doing your best and you are doing everything a person can do to help themselves.  Please take a moment to appreciate who you are.

 

Warm wishes.

[HopefulToHeal]

Thank you for the support and suggestions! Shep, I do feel safe enough to drive most of the time and when I don’t I have gone home early or taken the day off like I did Saturday. I am not able to move as I’m locked into a lease and rent in Colorado is absolutely insane! I’m in one of the poorest cities in the northern half of the state in a modest apartment. The only places that are cheaper are in areas with high gang activity and crime. I’m on the outskirts of this high crime city and it is very safe for me and my son out here. My family might be willing to help but I’m not at the point where I want to play that card (my family is unhealthy). I have an expensive truck I’ve been trying to sell as I can’t do excavation work anymore and don’t need that big truck. Once I sell that it will drop my bills and give me a chunk of money to put into the bank. I’ve had it up for sale for 2 months and I’m dropping the price so hopefully I can get rid of it soon. I’m also in the middle of a high conflict custody case and the psychologist will be visiting my apartment this Saturday to evaluate me, my place, and how I interact with my son. This has added a tremendous amount of stress since he scheduled with me last week. Once I get through the investigation this Saturday I will be able to breathe. The increased stress can’t be helping my symptoms and I’m being gentle with myself this week. Thank you for your genuine care and concern!

 

RachelSusan, thank you for the encouraging words and affirming compliments. I don’t give myself credit most of the time and it was very helpful to hear what you had to say. Thank you for the support!!

 

I was able to work today and I just took it slow and was grateful for what I was able to make and didn’t stress about working a full day. I’m grateful for this group and safe space to share. Here’s to more windows in the future!

[Shep]

Thank you for filling in the context, @HopefulToHeal. Very glad to read you're being mindful of how much you can do when the symptoms get severe.

 

Like @RachelSusan wrote, you are doing an impressive job of navigating through this. 

 

Please take good care as you handle these life stressors. Wishing you much success with the psychologist visit this Saturday and the truck sale. I don't think enough can be said about the financial stress of the collateral damage caused by withdrawal.  

[HopefulToHeal]

The first home visit with the child custody psychologist went very well. I was able to communicate coherently and managed to stay fairly present despite the circumstances and topics being discussed. We have one more home visit and one session with just me in his office. Hopefully these go well.

 

 After dropping my son off with his mom yesterday I came home and broke down and sobbed for over an hour. Now I’m in a deep dark depression. The derealization is also full force today as well.
 

On a great note I sold my truck and now have a cushion to draw from financially. 
 

Does anyone have tips to manage the awful depression while going through withdrawals? My life circumstances are definitely adding to the depression. I have no appetite and very little energy today. I find the idea of going to pick up groceries or my Ativan prescription overwhelming.

 

 I’m trying to stay hopeful but this is beyond anything I’ve experienced before.

[Shep]

On 10/2/2023 at 5:55 PM, HopefulToHeal said:

Does anyone have tips to manage the awful depression while going through withdrawals? My life circumstances are definitely adding to the depression. I have no appetite and very little energy today. I find the idea of going to pick up groceries or my Ativan prescription overwhelming.

 

Are you able to have your groceries and prescription delivered? That may incur charges, so it will be a matter of weighing the pros and cons.

 

You may want to write down a list of priority tasks to do and break things down into simple steps that you can check off. This may help with that overwhelming feeling that comes with this level of fatigue. If something isn't a priority, it can wait until you're feeling better. 

 

And remind yourself of your progress - you made it through a stressful visit with the psychologist and it went well. So even though you still have another visit with this psychologist, you still have fewer things on your plate. This is progress. 

 

Make sure you're eating healthy and getting enough water, as low blood sugar and dehydration can cause fatigue, so make sure you stay fueled up and hydrated. Since your appetite is not good, you could have small, healthy (plenty of protein) snacks and a glass of water several times throughout the day if eating an entire meal is too overwhelming. 

[HopefulToHeal]

As always Shep thank you for the suggestions and kind words. My mood has been significantly better the last 24 hours. Part of that was being excited to see my son. I still don’t feel those strong emotions but I’m connecting more with him this weekend. That feels amazing and the smile on his face tells me he feels the same.

 

I was able to get my groceries and meds the following day which put me out of meds and out of groceries but this is the first time since withdrawal started where I let myself get that low on anything. And you’re right, I honestly am making tremendous progress in my life despite all of this. I’m about to be out of debt since selling my truck and my bills are much lower. It feels like I can sustain this for the long haul.

 

 Also, I have been reconnecting with my parents and that has been really nice. Since I have no emotional attachment to any memories right now my childhood trauma isn’t running the show. It’s a silver lining and I’ll take it. Even if I get all of that back I will never let my emotions run my life as I have up until this point. That’s a true takeaway of this whole terrible ordeal. Also, I’ve connected with some of the most courageous and strong people during this WD on this site and others. It gives me hope for humanity.

 

 Love you all!!

[Thorin]

Hi, just thought I’d say hello. I don’t venture out of my corner of this site very much but was looking around tonight and read your thread. Different meds for me but I can relate to some of what you’re going through. I had bad emotional anaesthesia for a good while and experienced a lot of DP/DR. I also have two kids although mine are older than your child. I’m not off meds yet but I just wanted to say the emotions do come back. I crashed pretty bad from a too fast taper and the emotional anaesthesia was severe. It felt like there was a pane of glass between me and my emotions for quite a while. I had no idea what was going on and I was terrified. I’ve also felt like I was a terrible parent at times (was actually being a good parent). I also have the childhood trauma although even that is improved. I had to hold my dose for 11 months and over that time my feelings came back. It felt like it took forever although 11 months is not actually that long. I actually got to a really good place not long ago and felt good enough to start tapering again. Feeling rough but the memory of feeling good keeps me going. The fact that you’ve been having solid windows is a really good sign. You’ll continue to improve in a non linear way. It’s hard, it’s frustrating and can feel excruciatingly slow but you will slowly be getting better. Anyways hope the improvements come fast and frequently.

Cheers

[Shep]

@HopefulToHeal Brilliant update, Hopeful. Glad to read that you're in a better place now. 

 

How is your sleep? 

[HopefulToHeal]

@Thorin Thank you so much for leaving your corner to come visit me in my corner of this site. Your kind words are much appreciated and give me hope! I find it helps me so much when I reach out to a fellow sufferer to share my experience, strength, and hope. 
 

The emotional anesthesia has been by far the worst symptom paired with the DP/DR. I’m sorry you had to deal with these as well as they are terrifying and hard to survive especially at the onset. I’m so glad to hear you recovered your emotions and have been able to start tapering again. 
 

If we do the best we can everyday and really try and be the best parent we can on any given day then we are doing our job as parents. It’s funny how hard we can be on ourselves when in hindsight we see ourselves in a much more honest light. We will be better and wiser parents for surviving this experience which we can use to teach our children about life in all its complexities.

 

 Thanks for sharing a bit about your childhood trauma. We all have trauma and as long as we don’t let it define us, it can shape us into strong adults.

 

I hope your taper goes well and I look forward to staying in contact as we both move along on this journey. Thanks again for dropping a line to a stranger and offering some hope!!

 

@Shep Thank you for the kind words and it feels good to be doing better! I’m still having bouts of insomnia but overall I think I’m doing well in the sleep department compared to many on this site. 
 

I appreciate what you and all the mods do for all of us. How are you doing? Is it helping having a new mod to lighten your load a bit?

[HopefulToHeal]

I was thinking about one of the recovery stories I read on here and how he shared pics of himself while he was in a wave. I’m sharing these pics of me before withdrawal and 1 month into withdrawal. I feel it is helpful to share my whole truth. I was ok on these drugs but they were not meant to be a long term solution. Now that I’m off I have endured a hell that only those who have been through can understand. My hope is that one day I can share a picture of myself with life in my eyes and bask in the knowledge that I went through hell and lived to fight the good fight again.

 

This is me just before I started my fast taper.

 

This is me 3 weeks post zero from almost 4 years on 200mg Zoloft. 
 

 

It looks like my soul has been sucked from my body. These pics were only taken a few months apart. This speaks to the truly life altering things these medications do to us.

 

I will say that the lights are slowly coming back on for me. I still have a very long road ahead of me but I hope to post a healthy happy picture of myself some day. Keep fighting and breathing my fellow warriors!! 

[HopefulToHeal]

I wanted to add that I have been doing PBM and it’s still too soon to say for sure but I do think it’s helping with mood and energy. I will post more on this as I get more sessions under my belt.

 

 

[Shep]

@HopefulToHeal Please let us know what PBM is. 

[HopefulToHeal]

I am doing Photobiomodulation PBM therapy or “Red light therapy”. I do full body sessions without any clothes so I get maximum skin exposure. I’m working my way up but right now I’m at 10 minute sessions 3x per week M,W,F. The goal is 20 minute sessions. The unit looks just like a tanning bed but is filled with LEDs at 6 different frequencies.

528 nm - Green

633 nm - Red

680 nm - Red

810 nm - Near Infrared

850 nm - Near Infrared

904 nm - Near Infrared

 

This is a relatively affordable treatment at $20 per session. I’ve heard others charge more but that’s what I’ve found.

528 nm- Green

633 nm-Red

680 nm-Red

810 nm-Near Infrared

850 nm-Near Infrared

904 nm-Near Infrared

[Shep]

@HopefulToHeal Thanks for explaining what this is. I'm not familiar with this. How do you feel after a treatment? Do you feel you sleep better or have other improvements? 

[HopefulToHeal]

After treatments I feel a boost in energy and well being. My anhedonia lifted noticeably as well which is almost unbelievable. Today will be my 6th session so I’m not 100% sure of how it truly is affecting me and I don’t want to sell it as something better than it is. I’m trying to be scientific about it. That said it does seem those improvements are from the treatment itself. I got a slight headache for about 5 minutes after last session so I’m going to hold at 10 minutes again today and see how I react. So far this is the only negative side effect I’ve experienced and it was very mild. Overall I tend to sleep pretty well but I do seem to be waking up less as of the last week so maybe this is also an effect of the treatment.

 

I can’t figure out how to tag people on here. Is it possible to tag members from my cell phone or do I need to be on my computer?

[Shep]

13 hours ago, HopefulToHeal said:

 

I can’t figure out how to tag people on here. Is it possible to tag members from my cell phone or do I need to be on my computer?

 

To tag people, you use this sign:  @

 

Once you type the @ sign, start typing the username of the person you wish to tag. 

 

Glad you're seeing improvements with the PBM therapy. 

[HopefulToHeal]

It turns out I wasn’t seeing improvement from the PBM therapy. I was experiencing false improvement from taking Zithromax (azithromycin). I forgot I took that one dose of 1 gram days before feeling better. I attributed it to the PBM (red light therapy) but I was very wrong. About a week later, I ended up drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate to combat constipation from the antibiotic. The next day I woke up in a new low which has been my baseline since. I believe the antibiotic killed more good bacteria in my gut and the large mag citrate dose flushed out even more beneficial bacteria. I have been in a really dark place since then with even more pronounced mental WD symptoms. 
 

Since then I’ve seen a GI and a holistic doctor. I just tested for SIBO and am doing a GI map to get a better picture of what kind of dysbiosis I’m dealing with. My DNA sequencing gut biome test shows a large overgrowth in “bad” bacteria and very low numbers of beneficial bacteria. I believe this is contributing to my extremely low state and constant hopelessness I’ve been experiencing since the Zithromax. 
 

I cleaned up my diet even more since then and am eating based on an autoimmune protocol diet. I think this is helping me out of this hole. 
 

Lastly, I’ve been in a window for 3 days. I believe it’s because I’ve been fighting a cold for 10 days. Symptoms I’ve seen improve are DP/DR, visual distortion, anhedonia, memory, social ability, imagination/visualization in my mind, emotions a little less blunted, sweating, body odor, and positive outlook. We’ll see how long this lasts.

[Ma205]

On 11/14/2023 at 1:06 AM, HopefulToHeal said:

It turns out I wasn’t seeing improvement from the PBM therapy. I was experiencing false improvement from taking Zithromax (azithromycin). I forgot I took that one dose of 1 gram days before feeling better. I attributed it to the PBM (red light therapy) but I was very wrong. About a week later, I ended up drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate to combat constipation from the antibiotic. The next day I woke up in a new low which has been my baseline since. I believe the antibiotic killed more good bacteria in my gut and the large mag citrate dose flushed out even more beneficial bacteria. I have been in a really dark place since then with even more pronounced mental WD symptoms. 
 

Since then I’ve seen a GI and a holistic doctor. I just tested for SIBO and am doing a GI map to get a better picture of what kind of dysbiosis I’m dealing with. My DNA sequencing gut biome test shows a large overgrowth in “bad” bacteria and very low numbers of beneficial bacteria. I believe this is contributing to my extremely low state and constant hopelessness I’ve been experiencing since the Zithromax. 
 

I cleaned up my diet even more since then and am eating based on an autoimmune protocol diet. I think this is helping me out of this hole. 
 

Lastly, I’ve been in a window for 3 days. I believe it’s because I’ve been fighting a cold for 10 days. Symptoms I’ve seen improve are DP/DR, visual distortion, anhedonia, memory, social ability, imagination/visualization in my mind, emotions a little less blunted, sweating, body odor, and positive outlook. We’ll see how long this lasts.

hey did you treatment for sibo? How did you turn out? I have hydrogen sibo 

[HopefulToHeal]

I just got my SIBO test back today. I have methane SIBO. I see a practitioner this Monday so hopefully she can help me treat it. How about you?

[HopefulToHeal]

21 hours ago, Ma205 said:

hey did you treatment for sibo? How did you turn out? I have hydrogen sibo 

I just got my SIBO test back today. I have methane SIBO. I see a practitioner this Monday so hopefully she can help me treat it. How about you?