Paxilandbenzo: Advice and Help

[Paxilandbenzo]

Hi All

 

Just wanted to say thank you this website has saved my life and now that I'm able to join after months of struggle.

 

I have been on quite a few drugs over the years mainly benzo's and paroxetine.

 

I was prescribed 2mg rivotrol or clonazepam for sleep 2015 - 2020 and in 2020 got covid and later suffered covid fog which I release now was WD.

Was prescribed 

2020 for a 6 month period 

Propranolol (can't remember dose)

Clonazpem 2mg

Xanax 2mg (I think)

Prednisone 10 tablets a day ( Weaned of reducing buy 2 tablets a day)

Paroxetine 10mg.

2020 - 2023 Aug 19 Cold Turkey

Paroxetine 10mg 

Clonazepam 2mg - 4mg 

2022 March - 2023 March Ritalin

 

I stabilized after  the supposed covid fog was 5- 6 months of absolute hell. And then functioned ok for a year and a half , then things starting getting bad.

I think leading up to the Ritalin, I look back now and think it was medically induced Hypomania.

As people said I talked alot which I did and then by mid 2023 I was mostly in hyper mania states and especially that last 2 months before I was forced to stop cold turkey as I admitted myself to a rehab for 28 days. Where I suffered withdrawal for 2 weeks. I started working after and after 6 weeks of the cold turkey I've been in WD , December 2023 was absolute hell almost no sleep, debilitating anxiety and depression, panic attacks , brain zaps from sound ( they were worse after a few days of cold turkey) still here tho, lights sensitivity, and lots of fog can't see how I wil ever enjoy life again things I once enjoyed etc

Can't even watch TV I mostly live in my head.

I'm not functioning and haven't been since the withdrawals kicked in.

I believe I've come along way as I have some days where it's bearable and some evenings which I feel almost normal. In December I was suicidal 95% of the time. 

I have very bad mornings which I believe are because of increased cortisol. Feels now like I'm in 75% wave and 20% bearable window and 5% or less when I might just feel like myself. 

Although to survive this I've had to not trust my thoughts (especially since being manic last year where I did crazy things) and my intrusive thoughts have been so negative and debilitating the only way it's to say it not me.

The bearable windows are mostly in states of Anhedonia or Apathy, which to be honest I'm still suicidal as I do not want to continue living like this not to mention all my family and friends think I went to rehab for drugs which I used every odd weekend think they just assume the worst as being hypomanic they would have to I guess.

I honestly don't won't to continue to live like this, I know there are so many worse cases on this forum and I'm only 4 months in. I also know it's too late to reinstate and of the hell I've been through I know its not the right way.

 

I've been taking Magnesium and Omega 3 which I assume is helping as December was harder and I have glimmers of hope here and there not for long. Still sleep between 3 - 4 hours a night waking up every hour.

In December used urinate 12 plus times a night now maybe 4- 5 times.

 

 

I have alot more to discuss and hopefully get some advice even tho I kind of gather that nothing can be done but exist and wait it out. Kind of just existing at this stage mostly on this website and bubble pop in my phone.

 

Thanks all I'm in a bit of brain fog now so hope that makes sense.

 

Also I gather I need to do my drug signature ?

[LotusRising]

Hi @Paxilandbenzo

 

Welcome to SA,

 

I'm sorry you were CT'd off your medications - this happened in the rehab facility?

 

13 hours ago, Paxilandbenzo said:

Also I gather I need to do my drug signature ?

 

I see your signature, am I correct that you took both paxil and clonazepam for 3 years and were CT'd from both?

 

Have you read our link on Reinstating and Stabilizing?

 

These two links will help you to understand withdrawal syndrome:

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

When we take medication, the CNS responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS must then undo all the changes that were made. As the changes are undone, symptoms may occur. You can expect that they will follow 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization  and since the CNS likes stability, we suggest to Keep it simple, slow and stable.

 

Please post any updates related to your specific situation right here in your thread. It's helpful to keep everything related to your tapering journey in one spot.

 

Please read through all the information and let us know what questions you might have.

 

Again, welcome to SA

 

LotusRising

[KaiLee]

Hi, just dropped by to say that I also suffer from the meds and I wish you a good luck.

[Paxilandbenzo]

8 hours ago, LotusRising said:

 

I see your signature, am I correct that you took both paxil and clonazepam for 3 years and were CT'd from both?

 

Hi LotusRising thanks very much for your response, yes that is correct although I was on clonazepam for a couple year's before for sleep so I think over 5 years of everyday. I also changed between diazepam and clonzepam when one was unavailable as my doctor said they were the same.

 

The rehab stopped the clonzepam immediately and Paxil 20mg , next day 10mg next day 5mg, next day 0mg. so Basically yes.

 

I just can't describe how it changed my personality to a hypomanic person over confident always posted on social media. Impulsive descions , irritability , used drugs weed and mushrooms which I think helped me go over the edge although I was long on my way with thoughts all over the place and rapid talking etc.

 

4 hours ago, KaiLee said:

Hi, just dropped by to say that I also suffer from the meds and I wish you a good luck.

 

Hi KaiLee thanks very much never knew this could all go so wrong and then have to pay for it again after. I appreciate it and wish you the best aswel.

[Paxilandbenzo]

8 hours ago, LotusRising said:

I see your signature, am I correct that you took both paxil and clonazepam for 3 years and were CT'd from both?

 

Have you read our link on Reinstating and Stabilizing?

 

These two links will help you to understand withdrawal syndrome:

 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

When we take medication, the CNS responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS must then undo all the changes that were made. As the changes are undone, symptoms may occur. You can expect that they will follow 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization  and since the CNS likes stability, we suggest to Keep it simple, slow and stable.

 

Thanks for all of this yes I've read everything I can on this we site for months. 

 

Added vitamin B1, B6 and B12 complex, and Magnesium and omega 3 yesterday after a week break from thw last 2. I think they helped with my sleep, still have massive fatigue which I usually can't notice any physical pain as my mental pain too much. Have alot of brain frog today and obviously bad regrets from being hypomania for so long.

 

Do I add those vitamins to my drug signature? 

 

I have been in contact with someone locally who suggested L-lysine? to help stabilse?

[Paxilandbenzo]

9 hours ago, LotusRising said:

Please read through all the information and let us know what questions you might have.

 

 

I would say after 10.30 am in the morning once the panic subsides the most prominent symptom is debilitating anhedonia, and overthinking and brain fog. From everything I read and experienced being for the last 4 months would you advise not reinstating as I do believe it's also a 50/50 and really don't want to have to do this again.

[Paxilandbenzo]

sorry its L-Tyrosine?

[LotusRising]

Hi @Paxilandbenzo,

 

14 hours ago, Paxilandbenzo said:

I also changed between diazepam and clonzepam when one was unavailable as my doctor said they were the same.

 

Yes, they're both benzos and doctors think they're interchangeable, but they really aren't.

 

14 hours ago, Paxilandbenzo said:

The rehab stopped the clonzepam immediately and Paxil 20mg , next day 10mg next day 5mg, next day 0mg. so Basically yes.

 

I'm sorry this happened. It must have been very difficult. 

 

14 hours ago, Paxilandbenzo said:

Do I add those vitamins to my drug signature? 

 

Yes, it would be helpful if you could. Some find B-vitamins stimulating, but if you don't feel you're affected, I see no reason to stop them. We don't really recommend many supplements on the site so I can't speak to the l-tyrosine, thought I know it can be used for focus. Was it a naturopathic doctor that recommended it?

 

13 hours ago, Paxilandbenzo said:

From everything I read and experienced being for the last 4 months would you advise not reinstating as I do believe it's also a 50/50 and really don't want to have to do this again.

 

I can't say for sure what be the right course of action in your case. We do see that reinstatement of a very small dose of the original drug can sometimes help to alleviate withdrawal syndrome, but your case is a little more complicated since you stopped two at the same time. The only other alternative is to wait out the symptoms and manage the best you can while your CNS returns to homeostasis. Unfortunately, no one can give you an exact timeline as to when or if you'll start to feel better. While some will notice immediate improvement, for others it can take many months or longer. Since you're outside of the 3 month timeframe where reinstatement reliably works, it might work and it might not. 

 

I guess you need to work out if your symptoms are tolerable or not? If they are, you might want to continue on as you are.