sertralineonme: My history and what would happen if I tried a different SSRI

[sertralineonme]

My story in a nutshell:

 

• Always been anxious but got really bad in 2015
• Went to see the doctor and was told I didn't have depression but had GAD
• Was prescribed Sertraline and GP told me coming off them meant “mild to no symptoms”
• Started 50mg Sertraline 1 Jan 2016 but also quit coffee and alcohol at the same time
• Brother on 200mg told me you feel better after six weeks
• Had blurred vision, dry mouth and increased appetite but was otherwise fine (but still anxious)
• Six weeks to the day (more on this later) I felt more relaxed, clear-headed and less anxious
• Decided to come off after nine months as to me medicine is a last resort and I felt okay
• Tapered off over three months
• Withdrawal started and it was indescribably bad — I can barely even put it into words
• Went on for a while and I went back to the doctors, was dismissively told it would right itself and that I could always go back on them if I wanted to
• Didn't have many people to speak to about it but those I did said it was my depression coming back and I need to go back on the meds
• I knew it wasn't as how I was feeling was an order of magnitude worse than I'd ever felt in my life the the most depression I'd had before that was likely dysthymia as I was always functioning and never missed any work from it (interestingly I don't think the NHS recognise dysthymia and I was never diagnosed with it but in hindsight while not feeling hopeless or worthless I likely have had anhedonia for a lot of my adult life)
• I suffered alone for about 7–8 months, easily the worst I have never felt in my life: hopeless, worthless and angry in a way that is so extreme as to be difficult to describe
• After about 8 months it eased up
• Still with anhedonia I would function okay for a few weeks then my emotions would fall off a cliff and it'd be like being in mini withdrawal for about a week, passive suicidal ideation
• This went on for 6+ years while I tried to explore alternative methods of recovery (exercise, supplements, etc)
• As well as this cycle I get constant nose bleeds in my right nostril, I get hand tremors (never had them before Sertraline) if I am stressed and sometimes my memory and thinking goes haywire (not blackouts but difficulty forming and retaining memories even though my recall and clarity of thinking was good before, e.g. once when stressed, I forgot which side of the road cars travelled on and found myself unable to remember quite recent conversations)
• Exercise and eating well (esp. cutting out sugar) helped but life was still a slog
• Kind of got sick of fighting this thing about a year ago and had a bit of a breakdown and realised I was on a continuum of passive to active suicidal ideation
• Hit rock bottom and swore to myself I would never act on intrusive thoughts and started fighting back with renewed vigor
• Slowly improved through supplements, light therapy, cold shower, lots of exercise and a particularly the Human Givens approach — basically it shows that your thinking affects your sleep and your sleep quality determines your mental state
• A couple of months later I started taking Moringa powder and within a week the “blackness” had gone (not sure how/why but it is rich in tryptophan)
• After about a month of taking Moringa I actually started to feel happy; after an 8 year battle, I'd finally beaten this thing

 

However…

 

All was good for a few months until some things in life went badly all in a row and my stress levels ramped up and I've had a few bad months. I am being asked to look at medication by my family but this time a different SSRI.

 

It seems crazy to me given what I've been through but I have promised to at least look at other SSRIs, hence this post.

 

Here are my questions:

 

How different are SSRIs? Can any of the more well-informed members here take a look at my history and let me know what taking a different SSRI might look like? Fluoxetine (Prozac) looks like it is less likely to cause withdrawal symptoms but I've also read if you have had suicidal ideation before it can make that worse.

 

Am I likely to have the same experience coming off any SSRI? I can't imagine being on them life as a) it doesn't address anything and b) I have heard they stop working eventually.

 

I am also very concerned about the data surrounding them, particularly the lack of evidence for the chemical imbalance theory and their ineffectiveness in mild to moderate depression.

 

I know SSRIs work as a placebo for some. I found it suspicious that I started feeling the benefits on the exact day my brother said they'd start working. Almost like my brain expected it.

 

And if I ever got serious side effects like I had before…I honestly don't know what I'd do.

 

And finally, the irony of having had to deal with all this depression simply because I took an antidepressant is not lost of me.

 

 

[LotusRising]

Hi @sertralineonme

 

Welcome to SA,

 

We are a peer-run site assisting individuals to come off psychiatric medication. We cannot advise whether one might be better than another. Additionally, many members are experiencing an array of negative symptoms from taking, or trying to taper their psychiatric medication. As such, I'm not sure we can be of much assistance. However, please feel free to look around the site. There is a lot of good information and research articles speaking to the topics you've mentioned below. 

 

5 hours ago, sertralineonme said:

I am also very concerned about the data surrounding them, particularly the lack of evidence for the chemical imbalance theory and their ineffectiveness in mild to moderate depression.

 

I know SSRIs work as a placebo for some. I found it suspicious that I started feeling the benefits on the exact day my brother said they'd start working. Almost like my brain expected it.

 

[Ryder]

I used to take 200mg of Zoloft.

 

What dose do you rekon you can re-instate the drug at? Don't take a different SSRI.

 

 

[sertralineonme]

@Ryder That's the thing. 50mg is the lowest dose and coming off it was so bad I can't face it again but I'm getting pressure from my family. It's a no-win situation.

 

When you say not to take a differrent SSRI, can you elaborate on that please?

[Ryder]

12 hours ago, sertralineonme said:

That's the thing. 50mg is the lowest dose and coming off it was so bad I can't face it again but I'm getting pressure from my family. It's a no-win situation.

 

When was the last time you took 200mg of Zoloft ? Also, could you please add this to your signature. 

 

12 hours ago, sertralineonme said:

When you say not to take a differrent SSRI, can you elaborate on that please?

 

You and your family wants you to take another drug I see you have written. This probably will take you longer to get off. I am saying this as I have already tried this journey. Your best bet would be, even though its crappy, to re-instate a small amount until your symptoms cool down. 

[sertralineonme]

@Ryder Sorry, I thought I'd added details to my signature but I'd actually done it on my profile.

 

I have only ever been on 50mg Sertraline/Zoloft. I took my last tablet over 7 years ago so I am not in withdrawel; I have permanant neurological damage from the tablets. I would never under any circumstances injest another Sertraline tablet.

 

I am wondering if all SSRIs are basically the same or if there's a chance I would be okay on a different one. Fluoxetine seems to be more benign from what I've read.

 

I'm going to air my concerns to my GP but I have found the ones I've dealt with to be profoundly ignorant when it comes to the downsides of SSRIs.

[Ryder]

Can I ask what are the neurological symptoms ? Rumination, emotions, zaps etc etc. 

[sertralineonme]

I took them for anxiety and never been depressed before. Maybe neurological is not the right term but I have since suffered with depression, hand tremors, nose bleeds and memory problems.

[Ryder]

I understand. It is possible that Zoloft did cause at least some of these symptoms. I definitely had memory problems at 200mg Zoloft trying to referee a game once, lol not fun. However, it did go away eventually. 

 

I think the problem here is that you are trying to 'rid' yourself of these symptoms using pharmacy grade drugs. Zoloft may have indeed caused some of the symptoms that you have mentioned such as tremors, I use to suffer tremors as well for example in school (before any meds), but I learnt some coping mechanisms to over come it eventually. Also, you are thinking maybe a new SSRI may get rid of your troubles, but an SSRI caused your problems in the first place, and there a likelihood a new problem/symptom/neurological disorder will arise on a different drug. 

 

It is likely your previous drug did cause your problems but a taking.a new drug to force your symptoms to go away will not work. 

 

I would be looking at other things such as stretching, yoga and exercise to listen to my body to try and relieve some of the stress it feels when these 'symptoms' pop up. Gradually your body will find a way. I don't think there is any permanent damage at all here from what you have written just signs of bodily stress - and that's normal. 

[sertralineonme]

Thanks for your reassuring words, I think I agree, it is very much stress-related. 

[sertralineonme]

An update just in case anyone might be thinking they're going insane like I was.

 

I am thankfully not on more ADs and it turns out my anxiety and depression are actually secondary. I managed to strike gold with a decent therpaist and it's pretty likely I have complex PTSD due to repressed childhood neglact and this has been the cuase of my anxiety and depression. I am starting EMDR soon and that is hopefully going to abate my other issues.