Dumgoyne: Introduction (My Story)

[Dumgoyne]

Hello everyone. I'm a 42-year-old man living in Wales, UK. I've decided to join the site after recently watching the BBC Panorama documentary on antidepressants. Watching the documentary made me realise that I've been living in self-denial for more than a decade about the negative, lasting impact that SSRIs and SNRIs have had on my health and wellbeing. I believe it's my public duty to document my experience, which I hope can be used as further evidence of the damaging side effects of these medications and help my children's generation make an informed choice - something that I was denied.

 

I was first prescribed Citalopram in 2011 following a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder. I was reluctant to start taking antidepressants. I remember expressing this reluctance to my doctor and his blunt response was: "well, what else do you expect me to do?". His message was clear: antidepressant medication was the only option available. There was no discussion about psychological therapy. What's more, the doctor did not explain the risk of potential side effects or difficulties with withdrawal before I started antidepressants. I was implicitly led to believe there were no downsides, only benefits. I therefore relented and began taking Citalopram. 

 

As it turned out, I didn't experience any noticeable side effects on Citalopram. However, I didn't experience any noticeable benefits either. In fact, between 2011 and 2018 my depression worsened over time. The medical community's response was to incrementally increase the dosage of Citalopram, but it didn't make any difference. The only reason I continued with antidepressants was because I'd finally found a doctor I'd trusted. Her view, which she said was based on evidence from medical research, was that a combination of medication and psychotherapy was shown to have the best results for depression. I took her advice. 

 

Things changed suddenly and drastically in early 2018 when I experienced an acute mental breakdown. I was admitted to a specialist inpatient psychiatric unit. The first thing the consultant psychiatrist did was review my medication history and immediately switched me to Venlafaxine. Again, I was not informed about the risk of potential side effects or difficulties with withdrawal. I wasn't given a choice, nevermind given the opportunity to make an informed choice. 

 

Unlike my experience with Citalopram, I started experiencing side effects almost immediately with Venlafaxine. My general sexual arousal was severely diminished and I struggled to achieve a full erection whether on my own or with a partner. I found this distressing, more so than my depression. I informed my doctor who told me sexual dysfunction was a common side effect of antidepressants. This was the first time since I’d started taking antidepressants seven years earlier that a medical professional had revealed there were potential risks in taking these medications. My doctor prescribed me Sildenafil, which while I accept did help, the quality of my sex life was far below what it was before. Sexual activity was no longer fun and spontaneous, but something to be managed and planned carefully.

 

It was around 2019 when I decided that the detrimental impact of Venlafaxine on my sex life had become too severe and that I would come off it. I don’t recall the exact details of how I tapered, but I did so over about a period of 18 months from 225mg to 0mg. It was hell on earth. An experience that was completely unexpected and for which I was wholly unprepared. The withdrawal symptoms I experienced included: 

 

• Severe headaches
• Disorientation
• Brain fog
• Lethargy
• Anxiety
• Diarrhea

 

Despite the struggle I had with withdrawal from Venlafaxine, I persisted with tapering off. The eventual prize of a renewed and healthy sex life was too great to ignore. But…

 

...weeks and months passed after the Venlafaxine had left my system and I was still experiencing the same sexual dysfunction. I was devastated. Not only had the medical community failed to inform me of the risk of sexual side effects from taking antidepressants, but they’d also failed to inform me of the risk those sexual side effects could persist after tapering off them completely. 

 

Resigned to my sex life being ruined forever, I went back on Venlafaxine in 2021 on the advice of my doctor. I came off it in January 2023 after another long, painful tapering period beset by the same side effects as before. I was antidepressant-free between January 2023 and October 2023, but another mental health crisis sent me back to psychiatric care and I was given two new prescriptions of Vortioxetine (10mg) and Quetiapine (25mg).

 

I stumbled across the BBC Panorama documentary just before Christmas. I was shocked, appalled and filled with rage. Why hadn’t the medical community explained any of this to me before I started taking antidepressants more than 10 years ago? I was denied the opportunity to make an informed choice. It’s a global scandal.

 

After watching BBC Panorama, I made the firm decision to come off antidepressants/psychiatric medication for good. I tapered off Quetiapine first (25mg to 0mg) then tapered off the Vortioxetine (10mg, to 5mg, to 0mg). I did this over a period of about eight weeks. I took my final 5mg dose of Vortioxetine two weeks ago today. Thankfully, I’ve not experienced the same kind of severe withdrawal symptoms as I did with Venlafaxine. I’m having some trouble sleeping, but I wouldn’t describe it as severe.

 

My sexual dysfunction persists. I’m coming to a place of acceptance that I may never fully recover the healthy, happy sex life I once enjoyed. But I live in hope. 

 

----------------

 

Citalopram (2011 to 2018)

Venlafaxine (2018 to Jan 2023)

Quetiapine (Oct 2023 to Jan 2024 - tapered from 25mg to 0mg).

Vortioxetine (Oct 2023 to Feb 2024 - tapered from 10mg, to 5mg to 0mg)

[FireflyFyte]

Hi Dumgoyne,

 

Welcome to SA. Please summarize your drug history in your signature by following the instructions at How to Summarize Your Drug History in Your Signature. You may need to be on a computer to complete this.

 

You are early in your journey off of medication so it's important to understand the The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization.

 

We do not recommend too many supplements to help with withdrawals but we do recommend the following -

 

• Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker
• King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

We also advise members to avoid alcohol, weed, and strenuous exercise during your recovery. 

 

Thanks,

 

Firefly

Edited March 2 by FireflyFyte