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NoMeaning25: I wont give up hope


NoMeaning25

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On 5/17/2023 at 4:55 AM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Im sorry you're still suffering I read your entire thread :(( Has anything at all improved for you? 

No sadly not

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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On 5/17/2023 at 5:36 AM, Soup said:

@NoMeaning25 do you still take Xanax ? 

I take no medication. Last benzo taken which was extremely sporadic was early 2018

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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On 5/19/2023 at 5:00 PM, CloudyToday said:

Hi @NoMeaning25,

You mentioned you had a setback on May 2018. 

Were you gradually getting better before this setback? 

Not gradually, no. Very up and down, but i was definitely better than I am currently.

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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  • 5 months later...

Hello! For me the setback from different drugs was way worse than original psych drug damage. I had a setback from a hormonal med over a year ago and that plus pregnancy just sent me over the board and I have symptoms 100 times worse than I had originally. There was also an antibiotic involved. So far I haven’t started healing, to be completely honest I am still getting worse. I am not sure why but I think it’s the drop of hormones after giving birth plus the mads used in my C-section. My baby is five months old now and I am still getting worse.

April 2020 - floxed by Cipro

Pregabalin on and off for the remainder of 2020

May - Nov 2020 trazodone 

Sept-Oct 2020 - trials of different antidepressants that backfire (escitalopram for 3 weeks, trintellix for 3 weeks, adverse reaction to Cymbalta)

Feb 2021 - I quit pregabalin and never touch any psych meds ever again

July 2022 - almost healed, living my life

Aug 2022 - clomiphene makes me worse than ever, I get pregnant 

Nov 2022 - fosfomycin makes me even worse

May 2022 - medicated c-section, after a 2,5-month long window, 5-6 weeks after the c-section slowly thrown into worst hell ever, still getting worse

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  • 3 months later...

How are you doing @NoMeaning25

 

Lexapro 10-20mg 2016-2018 2 full years cold turkey no withdrawals, Lexapro 10-20mg 01/2021-08/2022 cold turkey missed doses, alternated between high and low doses, no withdrawals

1/7-1/14/2023 Ciprofloxacin for 1 week 500mgx2 in January 2023, resulted in headaches that went away in 2 months

3/21-3/35/2023 Oxybutinin for 4 days 

3/21-3/30/2023 Ofloxacin 400*9 days in March, gave me insomnia

3/23-3/25/2023 Passiflora+Valerian Capsule for 2 nights, doesn't work.

3/26-3/29/2023 Unisom (Doxylamine) for three nights, it would work on the second night but would not do anything on the 3rd.
03/29-05/10/2023 Mirtazapine 7.5mg/15mgs depending on the night this also would work for 3 nights, I would switch to Unisom every 4th night. Took for a total of 15-20 times in 42 nights.

5/11/2023 Atarax(hydroxine) only once but spiked my tinnitus and gives me DP/DR in the morning, after this I could fall a sleep on my own with no meds. Later on Unisom also spikes my tinnitus. 

06/01/2023 Brain Zaps start, I get back to alternating mirtazapine,passiflora, melatonin,  for 40+ more days. Symptoms got worse.

06/15/2023 Trazodone 50MGs once. Did nothing.

3/2023 - 9/2023 NAC, Alpha lipoic Acid, Magnesium, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Calcium. Once or twice I took 5HTP and L-theanine. Took Fish Oil Omega-3 for 1-2 months.

11/8/2023 250mgs of Keppra ONCE.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/13/2024 at 11:31 AM, ShadowDancer said:

How are you doing @NoMeaning25

 

 

 

Hi... Still completely unable to function. Basically disabled. I cant even leave the house due to severe constant symptoms. August will be 12 years... 

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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  • Mentor

Hi @NoMeaning25,

 

I've read some of your history and am sorry you've suffered so much.  You are to be commended for hanging in there. 

 

You mentioned that you stop taking Xanax early in 2018 and then by May you noticed that things got worse for you.  I don't think it's a coincidence that you worsened after completely stopping the benzo. 

 

I know that some people experience protracted withdrawal syndrome for a very long time, but try to keep a glimmer of hope alive that one day things might improve for you. 

 

I hope you're living in a situation that is healthy and supportive for you physically and emotionally.  Please continue to keep us updated on your progress.

 

Sending you love and a big cyber hug....

 

Catina ❤️  

 

 

Disclaimer:  This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only.

1994 - 2017:  Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien

2005-present:  Trazodone 50 mg 

2017:  Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 

2020 (March):  Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg)

2021 (September):  Completely crashed.  Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself

2024:  1/1:  35.6 mg (-6 beads)  |  2/1:  33.8 mg (-11 beads)  |  3/1:  32.1 mg (-16 beads)  |   4/1:  (-18 beads)

Reasons for starting psych meds:  PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Other medications:  Levothyroxine 75 mcg

Supplements:  Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion   

 

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What are your symptoms now?

2015- Jan 2021 20mg Citalapram

Jan 2021- April 2021 Sertraline (CT)

June 2021 - Fluoxetine & Trazadone

Oct 2021- Trazadone to Quitiapin 

Oct 2021 to June 2022 switches Duloxetine then paroxatine then Venlafaxine.

June 2022- venlafaxine for 5 or 6 weeks at 37.5 twice daily. Upped for one week to 75mg twice daily but caused panic attacks. Dropped back down to 37.5 twice daily. Panic attacks stopped. 

1 week- 62.5mg 1 week- 50mg 1 week- 37.5mg 1 week - 25mg 

ANTIDEPRESSANT FREE SINCE JULY 22ND 2022!! 

18/05/23 - 01-06/23 doxycycline for a rat bite 

Taken propranalol since 2015. 80mg.

21/11/22 76mg. 28/11/22 72mg. 05/12/22 68mg. 19/12/22 64mg. 27/12/22 60mg. 02/01/23 56mg. 09/01/23 50mg. 16/01/23 47mg. 23/01/23 44mg. 29/01/23 40mg. 05/02/23 38mg. 12/02/23 35mg. 19/02/23 32mg. 25/02/23 27mg. 04/03/23 25mg. 11/03/23 22mg. 17/03/23 19mg. 24/03/23 20mg. 05/04/23 18mg. 11/04/23 16mg. 17/04/23 14mg. 27/04/23 20mg. 19/06/23 19mg. 25/06/23 20mg. 04/08/23 18mg. 11/08/23 17mg. 16/08/23 16mg. 25/08/23 15mg. 01/09/23 14mg. 08/09/23 13mg. 15/08/23 12mg. 22/09/23 11mg. 29/09/23 10mg. 19/11/23 9mg. 26/11/23 8mg. 03/12/23 7mg. 10/12/23 6mg. 17/12/23 5mg. 24/12/23 4mg. 31/01/23 3mg. 07/01/24 2mg. 13/01/24 1mg. 19/01/24 0mg. DONE! 

 

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