success ☼ Hudgens's story

[mammaP]

Good news Hudgens, hope the infection is cleared soon.

[Hudgens]

Infection better, but not gone on 7th day. The antibiotics aren't making me sick anymore, though.

Sleeping slightly better this past week.

Some episodes of anxiety scattered throughout the day. Nothing too bad.

Spent some relaxing time around the community pool this afternoon.

Getting some light exercise lately, but not eating all that well.

Moods been good last month or so, which makes everything easier.

Feeling relaxed and normal at bed time. 

[Jemima]

I'm glad to see that you're continuing to do well despite the infection.  Keep on truckin'!

[Hudgens]

Ear infection gone. Slept well (5-7 hrs) 4 nights in a row, now.

Also reduced my dosage to once a day. Using a magnifying glass now to measure it.

A different kind of anxiety lately-I get this uncomfortable feeling that the outdoors is too big.

Difficult to explain: sometimes the sky seems to big or high or something, and the trees, too.

Tall buildings make me feel a little weird, too. Seems like a combination of fear of heights with a fear of open spaces.

Anyway, never had these fears before, so it's just withdrawal again. Always something new. I try not to dwell on any of it-as idea, 

and use mindfulness (breath meditation, body scans) to deal with the pure feelings in themselves. None of it's enough to keep me from doing things. Going to the pool, movies, tennis etc.. No other withdrawal symptoms for about a week now.

If the once a day dosing works out, I can actually reduce the amount several more times. Of course this would mean 3-4 more months

tapering, but so what? I'll just be surprised because I've always had a AM/PM schedule because of the regular Effexor not being time release. It's only been 5 days but good so far.     

[Hudgens]

Well, the weird feeling went away for the second half of the day yesterday.

Very little evidence of it today, so far.

Some irritability right now, brain fog, too.

Had fallen into a light doze last night and woke up with some confusion for about 15 seconds.

Still, I've been sleeping much better than usual lately. 5 good nights in a row.

So it looks as though the brain fog/confusion is a separate withdrawal symptom from the insomnia.

They're all separate and just randomly come and go.

That's the way it will always be until they finally just go.

[Hudgens]

Not a bad day at all.

Went to the movies, Jersey Boys.

Slept very well again last night. That's 5 nights in a row.

So maybe the insomnia's easing after almost 2 years.

Had some anxiety, mild, for a few hours including the time at the movies, but

still enjoyed myself.

I think I've been on the single dose for six days.

Getting out with others helps a lot, as always.

[Hudgens]

Had the flu-like symptoms yesterday afternoon and into the evening. Advil seemed to handle it.

Got 6-7 uninterrupted hours of sleep last night. Exercised and ate right today.

Had one of those "feeling perfectly normal" days.

Like everything just snaps back into place, or something.  

[alex]

You are a succes story Benz

[Hudgens]

Really though, that remains to be seen.

[Hudgens]

Only 3 hrs sleep last night. But got a lot of work done today.

About 3 hrs of anxiety this evening-got pretty intense, too, then stopped abruptly.

[Hudgens]

Got at least 6 hrs last night.

Some brain fog today.

Mild anxiety tonight.

Mood good, though.

Still getting out and about, and getting a lot done.

In much better shape than I used to be certainly.

Had a complete physical recently: everything's fine

although my blood sugar and cholesterol's a little high.

102 and 222 respectively.   

[Hudgens]

Sorry I haven't posted for a week or so, guess I've been pretty busy with this and that.

Things are going very well with the taper.

I'm still sleeping better, 5-6 hours a night, sometimes in a row.

Still have an episode (3-4 hrs.) of mild-moderate anxiety, every 3rd day or so.

A little more cortisol in the morning than I'm used to, but it goes away quickly.

The agoraphobia, or whatever it was I was experiencing has gone away for the most part,

and anyway never became dysfunctional.

So I really can't complain too much.

Now that I've switched to the once a day dosage I can actually reduce twice more 

literally getting myself down to a few granules of Effexor.

I'm going to do this because, as many here know-it can get harder the lower the dose.

Of course, in that case, it's possible it might take until the first of the year, after this current

dosage, to reduce two more times, but that's fine, of course. If I can get down to one last, tiny grain, I will.

I should also mention that I'm still experiencing short episodes of brain fog-several times a day.

Doesn't seem dependent on any particular part of the day-I just suddenly become kind'a stupid.    

[mammaP]

Glad things are going well Hudgens, 5=6 hours sleep a night is amazing! 

 

I think you are right to be counting grains, it must be a pain to do but it's 

paying off for you. Thanks for updating.

[Hudgens]

Still doing very well, for example, last three days symptom free.

Some extra cortisol mornings. A little brain fog from time to time.

The once a day dosing seems to be OK.

Not much to say, that's why I've stopped the daily reports.

Windows used to be the exception, now short episodes of withdrawal symptoms

are the exception, feeling healthy and normal is the rule. At least right now, and since about April, I think. 

[Hudgens]

Slept 7 hrs straight through night before last, but then only 2 last night.

Eating right for last 2 days, and exercising again.

Getting a lot of house work and regular work done lately.

Mood very good.

No brain fog today-first completely clear day (intellectually) for a long time.

Coming up on 1 month since switching to once a day dosing. 

[Hudgens]

Last three days pretty good, but not the nights. Takes hours and hours to fall to sleep, and then for only a couple of hours.

Also spent 4-5 hours the night before last (while waiting for sleep) with bad anxiety and low mood. Got through it OK.

Did better last night, More peaceful but again, little sleep. The insomnia hasn't affected my day much, though. Got even more done than usual.

Also, had about 6 hours of body pain (muscle pain as with a bad cold) right up until bed time as well as for several hours while waiting for sleep. Odd, though-even though it was pretty intense, it didn't bother me much. Maybe I'm getting used to that particular symptom,

and it's always been the one I preferred to get as opposed to any of the others. It's the rest of the body's nervous system's withdrawal

symptom. More headaches lately and sometimes a strange pain in my left temple, I guess it could be considered a headache, only it's

so isolated and only on one side.

One month since starting once a day dosing.

[Petunia]

I'm sorry to hear that you have been having a small wave of symptoms Hudgens, but in all you are doing well.  Occasional symptom waves, even while tapering carefully, are not uncommon.  I'm glad you are taking it in your stride and hope it passes soon.

[Hudgens]

Thanks, Petu.

[Hudgens]

Several good days in a row, except for the brain fog, bad memory and 2-3 instances per day of-I don't know what to call them-lapses into stupidity,

momentary, mild confusion? I know it's a withdrawal symptom, but I'd also like to hear from anyone who has had this kind of stuff and then gottin better.

Everything else is going well.

[Hudgens]

Brain fog wasn't as bad today. Got 6 hrs last night.

 

No real wd symptoms last 2 days.

 

All's good, and starting to think about another drop down to half a dozen granules.

Difficult to say the exact amount now it's gotin so small.

 

Getting a lot of work done and played tennis with my father today.  

[Hudgens]

All's well.

[Hudgens]

The insomnia been back for the past week, about 3 hrs of sleep per night.

Kind'a rough, but still getting things done. A lot of irritability, of course-and jumpy!

My father walked up behind me and said something when I didn't know he was there,

and I almost jumped out of my skin!

 

I noticed that the brain fog/memory symptoms were gone for most of the week.

Which tells me they're separate from the insomnia. Eating very healthy for past 5 days.

Lost 4 lbs.

 

Actually, I slept a little better last night, 4-5 hrs.

No other symptoms to speak of. So, although pretty exhausted, I'm pleased with how everything's going. I mean, I know it could be much worse.

 

Got a good feeling about the whole thing for several months now.  

[Hudgens]

Still no withdrawal symptoms other than the insomnia-at the moment I just can't seem to get more than 3 or 4 hours each night.

I'm going to go another month at my current amount to see if the insomnia eases any. If it doesn't, I reassess Oct 1st.

I'd like to make 2 more drops before post taper time.

 

Oh, I should also mention that the brain fog is very thick last few days.

 

Been getting out a lot lately. Mood very good.  

[andy]

Still no withdrawal symptoms other than the insomnia-at the moment I just can't seem to get more than 3 or 4 hours each night.

I'm going to go another month at my current amount to see if the insomnia eases any. If it doesn't, I reassess Oct 1st.

I'd like to make 2 more drops before post taper time.

 

Oh, I should also mention that the brain fog is very thick last few days.

 

Been getting out a lot lately. Mood very good.  

hi hudgens

its good your mood is better,have you tired a sleep mask it has really helped me go from 4-5 hours sleep to 6 or 7

best wishes

[Hudgens]

Sleep masks don't do anything for me, but thanks.

Doing very well.

I'm in my 3rd year now of chronic insomnia. Guess I'm hanging in there pretty well, because I don't feel like a

basket case or anything, only 2 hours last night, but 7 hours a few nights ago. This happens every so often.

A usual night for me is still 4 hrs.. only getting 2 hrs is thankfully uncommon.

No other symptoms for a while now (three weeks or so?).

Holding for now until the end of September just to see if anything wants to catch up with me.

If all's AOK at that point, I'll drop at least once more and possibly be post-taper by the new year.

I remember this time last year thinking I'd be done by Christmas. Guess I was off by a year.

But, you finish when you finish. Any kind of a rush is almost always a mistake, I think.  

 

By the way, I've been sub .02 for a couple of months now, but the amount is way to small to even

guess at. But at least .01. I think the reason I could make such a big cut this time is because I've

possibly finally gotten to an amount that isn't doing anything to me. I've been wrong about this in the past and paid a heavy price, but this dose is only a half dozen or so granules. Anyway I'm waiting extra time this dosage to

make sure I didn't make a big mistake. So far, very good, except for the insomnia.  

 

Forgot to mention that the Brain fog still hanging around-until a few mins ago I thought it was Wednesday. So there is more than just insomnia going on.

[Hudgens]

Insomnia back last 4-5 days, pretty bad really.

1-3 hrs episodes of lightheadedness almost every afternoon, haven't had this one for a while.

Strangely, none of the confusion/memory/brainfog problems of late.

Had a 4-5 hour bout of depression a few days ago-unusual for me-mild with moderate spikes. by far my least favorite withdrawal symptom.

Some hour long episodes of a mixed flu-like symptom and anxiety.

Throughout-no days when I didn't go about my usual business. But had to lay down for a while during the worst of it.

Reminds me that I've got a long way to go. 

[Addax]

Do you think it was the bigger cut you made that brought on the worsening symptoms? I think it's great that you maintained business as usual through it. Despite this wave it does sound like you are moving along well.

 

I hope this wave of symptoms passes quickly for you.

[Meimeiquest]

I doubt this, but do you think you might have sleep apnea? I had no symptoms except snoring and poor sleep, but a horrible test. I only pursued it because I heard an infomercial on how hard it is to know someone needs screened. But treating it has helped me immensely.

[Hudgens]

My reasons for doubting I have Sleep Apnea are, first, that I'm not usually sleepy during the day, even after only a 3-4 hour night of sleep. Second, I have lots of dreams-my understanding is that Sleep Apnea sufferers don't get into the deeper levels of sleep for very long before waking up. Third, because I don't get headaches which are also common with people with Sleep Apnea. And fourth, because the insomnia only started during the tapering, and then only when the tapering went South along about the second year  when I started doing 50% cuts. 

 

Still, 2 other people in my immediate family have it bad. So it's worth looking into. I'm also over weight by 35 lbs. First, I'm going to lose 20-30 lbs and see if that helps any. I think I'm also going to get a voice activated digital recorder to see if I snore any.

 

Thanks for bringing the subject up.   

[Hudgens]

Addax, it could certainly be the steeper cut that brought on the recent increase in symptoms. Tiny amounts are difficult to adjust.

All we can do is the best that we can. I'm going to make it regardless. The symptoms are short and weak compared to so many others here, but I'm still amazed at how powerful these substances are. That's why it sounds funny to hear someone say things like "I was only on a 'baby' dose of 75 mgs! Although I distinctly remember feeling the unpleasant side effects the drug beginning to diminishing

after reaching the half way point-I'm referring to the things that changed about my personality and behavior while on the full dose-things you don't see while on the drug, things you regret more and more and begin to be shocked by after getting some of the drug out of your system.  

[Hudgens]

Doing better last 3 days. Sleeping OK, about 4 hrs per night.

Very little brain fog. Getting out, getting my work done.

Getting further in my reading German. Memory of new words (German)

seems to have significantly improved last 2 days-I mean I have less trouble with the flash cards.

Exercising all week, eating very healthy, and lost 6 or 7 pounds.

Mood very good. Got a better magnifying glass which lights up-making the dose measuring easier

and more accurate.

[Narcissus]

Sounds good Hudgens, keep it up!

[Hudgens]

As I was falling to sleep last night I felt cold and got up to turn on the heat. Within 3 seconds of getting out of bed I was hit with severe cold sensitivity.

Almost in an instant I was shaking and cold to the point of real pain. This has happened to me a dozen or so times during my tapering. Sometimes I wake up with it, sometimes, as with last night, it happens as I'm settling down to sleep. I have to get under the covers and stay still until the heat comes back into my body. It's so painful that, for example, even going the short distance to the bathroom to get into a hot shower is out of the question. I had a heating pad

near the bed but couldn't think of getting out from under the covers to take the few steps necessary to get it and plug it in. It took about 45 minutes before I was feeling a little warmer, an hour before I felt ok again. I think this withdrawal symptom is the partial loss of the body's usual ability to regulate body temperature. It happens maybe once every 3-4 months, and never, so far, two nights in a row. Stressful but not dangerous. Once I get warm again I feel pretty normal.

So it's short lived, (but then again so are panic attacks).

 

I wanted to record this symptom in detail incase anyone else ever experiences it and wonders about it. There's no doubt in my mind it's part of  withdrawal. It also has only happened to me when the room, or otherwise weather, was pretty cold to begin with. It's just an exaggerated reaction

to the cold due to withdrawal. Yet one more symptom I, eventually, won't miss.  

[Narcissus]

Sounds scary, Hudgens, sorry you've had to experience this.

[Hudgens]

Insomnia very bad last week, starting Monday and through Friday, 2-3 hrs each night. Slept better last night and so felt much better today.

Feeling good besides.

Been on this latest micro dose for a while now, kind'a lost track exactly how long. First time I've done that, but could be a good sign.

Thinking about staying at this dose through October just to be more sure I'm not going to hit some big wave. Then one more micro-micro dose

and off by Jan 1st, ideally that is, but actually whenever I feel good and stable. I want to be even more sure of how I feel before going off the last dose.

I don't mind waiting and it's not possible to be overcautious with these drugs. 

[Hudgens]

Feeling good, sleeping adequately, but bad 2-3 hr episodes of irritability and brain fogginess, forgetful and absentminded.

Getting a lot of work done, short spells of mild anxiety. Feeling fine most of the time. I'm certainly going to make it to the end of the taper, anyway. Knock on wood.