success ☼ JanCarol: Reboxetine first, then lithium

[AliG]

Just saying hi, JC. Can you give me the name of that  Psych Doc, you were talking about , please? I can't seem to find it.  I feel

disorganized.  Can't think.  Thank you heaps. 

[JanCarol]

Hey Ali - it must be in an old PM.  Sure.

 

I can say it publicly - I go to Alison Christensen, PhD, on Wickham Terrace.  She's a gentle, soft spoken woman, with a clear view of the damage that antidepressants can cause.  Her practice is busy, but you can use my name and maybe that will give you an "in."  I've been with her for over 10 years.

[JanCarol]

This post is a few days old, but our "fabulous" (snort) National Broadband Network (just google "Australia NBN" for a fun political stuff up) went down when I wanted to post it. 

 

From a mental health perspective, when the NBN goes down, my phone goes down, too.  What is wrong with this picture?

 

Anyhow, here's the post:  

 

* * *

Okay.  Stress.  Time to test my coping mechanisms.

 

Psychologist told me that, unless I think of a goal we can work on, she doesn't see a way forward for us.  (My acupuncturist suggested I say, "to be the first woman on the moon!")

 

I went to a gentle yin yoga class, and was a "good girl" and took my magnesium chloride / sodium bicarb / apple cider vinegar / himalayan salt bath (I can get most of this in bulk now)  But still, I woke up with an elephant standing on my chest today. 

 

On going to the New Library (I miss the old shack that was my local library - the New Library is further away, more traffic, more hassle), I got lost.  I got unlost and got to the underground carpark.  I usually just go straight in, in spite of all the signs that say, "Keep Left."

 

I decided to be a "good girl" and obey the signs and keep left this time.  In doing this, I scraped my beautiful red car on a metal plate on the corner of the garage.  It looks like $$$$ worth of damage.

 

Immediately, a bubble inside of me burst.  I was angry, I was depressed, I was exhausted, I was worthless, I had to tell hubby how I failed to keep our beautiful car nice, and it was gonna cost him $$$$.  When I told him about it, he kindly informed me that I've been dropping plates in my juggling act, and getting stressed about it.  i.e., he was forgiving, and reminded me that I need to manage my stress better.  He was also gentle with me when he looked at the damage, imagining that I had bent the doors and fenders.  It's a small, but substantial damage.  

 

I woke up this morning dreaming of being fired from a job where I was so lost that I just downloaded games and played them all day.  When I cam back from lunch, my replacement was at my workstation, doing things I could never understand, and I realized I had been fired and replaced.  In leaving, my late father picked me up to take me home, and we went to a parking garage - except that the incline on the parking garage was so steep - he was already at the top (must be easy being a ghost), it was nearly vertical.  I couldn't climb it.  I went to the steps and they were each 2 feet apart.  I had to climb them on all fours - as I woke up.  

 

Depression, dreams of failure.  The hard stuff has begun.  I smashed my car, I smashed my heart at the same time. The car is just a thing, but what happened inside of me at that moment - was more feeling than I've had in a long time.  Been awhile since I've been crying in public.

 

(yes, yes, Neuro.  Neuro.  Neuro.  But Neuro emotions from lithium is far less documented!  As MeiMei said - is this from OTHER withdrawals that the lithium had "protected" me from?)

 

Is this from the adrenal / thyroid change?  Or is this just from the disorganized mess that is my life?  How can I put it together?  I'm feeling like there are many things I have little control over.  It may be why I am attracted to supplements - at least I can control them.

 

I'm not in crisis, I'm just reporting in.  Smash.  Crash.  and one foot in front of the other, I keep going (except of course, when I'm on the floor or in the tub, stopping to experience this deep fatigue).

 

* * *

After a loving massage, mud pack, salt scrub, and gentle warm water massage (this is a special thing I found in NZ, turns out I can get it in my neighborhood, too) I feel better.

 

Also, when I got home, I realized I missed my B12 that day.  Hmmmm.  Made me a little spiky perhaps?

 

Anyhow, I'm stable, I'm fine, I'm stressed, but it's just the same old stuff.

[Meimeiquest]

Oh, JC, big cyber hugs to you (assuming your internet is up ). It does feel like everything is hitting the fan, I'm sure. I'm proud of your husband for coming through so well! I think he treasures you, and well he should!

 

I don't know how some come off lithium so easily, but my NP, no expert in this, says it can be really, really hard. I work in 12.5mg increments now, and when I get to 450mg may hold till my daughter goes to college in 2016. I think I told you I found 2 cases on line of slow tapering that hit the fan at 400mg. This is a tricky place you are at, please don't be discouraged that it is hard...you are rocking it! I read the blog of one of those people every week....you can find it by searching bipolar dyane. She is really working courageously to manage her "bipolar" now, and I give her lots of props, but she went too fast, on a schedule. "I tapered all my meds meticulously over a year." We have to feel how we feel and manage accordingly, which I know you are doing.

 

I think I have mentioned the website nancymullanmd.com to you? Here is an interesting post on lithium: http://us6.campaign-archive2.com/?u=4eaad9504df1b973b5cca1101&id=f591257bb9&e=f3622f7f6a. I would also really encourage you to search psycheducation.org for lithium biological clock. I think one of the biggest things we can do to help ourselves through this is to stay on a schedule, which I realize is so much harder when you don't have external forces holding you to one. That could be a goal with that xxx psychologist .

 

So I just skimmed The Wahls Protocol. She is a huge fan of mud packs, but she says if you are on any meds, it will draw the meds out too. Just another thing to think about.

 

We're pulling for you! I think you are going to be fine, but it's just tough with all those natural hormones missing, etc., etc. You come tell us all about it anytime. We know you're a hero!

[btdt]

That was quite the dream JC  I use to have dreams like that... not anymore and I am not sure if I am grateful or not I think I am.  I know the internal collapse you had from the hurting the beautiful car ... the getting lost .. the feeling lost.  The slide down to worthlessness... it is all a bunch of crap really as none of it is the true self but the lack of control in and resulting lack of power personal and otherwise of wd is very ficking real.. it adds up and takes it's toll.  Another thing we have to bear to handle to work thru I am glad you have support and resources to help feed you some positives perhaps it helps to distract you too and give you a reason to get up and get out... keeping you unstuck... staying unstuck may be important in all this... I know stuck is bad... and suck years out of a life.  

I just want you to know this is a common theme at least for me and hope you don't feel too alone in it even tho it is miserable son of a be... this wd crap... is suppose to end and all this is basically for me at least typical nothing new under the sun...  

I wish you peace

[JanCarol]

Thank you Btdt and MeiMei - I feel the wave has past - but this isn't a window, either.  It's like a gentle, fragile state that I need to be kind to myself within.

 

The mud pack felt like a 2x a year thing (not a once a month thing!).  It was intense, and nurturing.  And I won't do it again until my massage therapist (she is in her 60's) has a young sturdy helper - all those heavy wet towels and buckets.  Once nice touch, is after she washed the mud off, she hauled it in a bucket of water, outside, and poured it onto sacred ground (she lives on a former Aboriginal sacred meeting place).  I could actually feel the "bad stuff" flowing into the comforting earth!

 

I think she undercharged me, too.  I told her so.  But she insisted!

[btdt]

Glad your better and sounds like this mud thing is a win win.. be nice to your fragile self. 

[AliG]

  Hi J.C. , Checking in to see how you're doing.  I can identify with "gentle, fragile state that I need to be kind to myself within ".  I'm sure everyone here, can relate as well.   Thank you for all your help and support.  

[JanCarol]

Hey MeiMei - I looked up Dyane Bipolar, but found so MANY different sites.  I don't want to look at all of them!  Which is the best one to read?  It's probably all the same woman, posting in different places - do I go to the bipolar blogspot one for her blog?  Or is there a better one?  (http://www.bipolarbloggernetwork.com/?author=69 )

 

So my newest thing has been itching.  I haven't seen much here about itching.  I have studied that it may have something to do with kidneys - more water - and make up another batch of barley water (I now put adzuki bean in it to heal kidneys, and kombuchu seaweed for iodine).

 

It is most often where the skin is "thin," like backs of knees (right now), or palm of hand or wrists (yesterday), eyes (for a week).  I took a salt and sodium bicarb bath last night because I wouldn't be able to sleep.  Itching so hard it is painful.  I ended up taking benadryl.

 

I'm wondering how much of my trouble started with the antihistamines as a child.  That may be, I'm sure, a deep addiction.  I'm only on a 1/4 tablet of claratyne per day, but I keep falling back on the benadryl when I have breakthrough symptoms.

 

I know my allergy cycles in Indiana, but things here bloom all year round.  This is equivalent of September in Indiana - which I have pretty bad allergies in August - September, and then they fall off at "frost."  But there is no such thing as "frost" here.

 

Itchy itchy itchy.  I'm thinking kidneys because it can be a sign of dehydration.  It's not dry skin, I use moisturizer fairly regularly.  I never take super-hot baths, because I want to absorb the magnesium (too hot, and it doesn't "get in" or something).  

 

So back to the barley water!  At least now I have an electric citrus squeezer, which makes my life so much easier!  ($4 at Salvos!)

[calithebold]

Sorry that you're still itching! I was hoping it might settled a bit

[WiggleIt]

Hi JanCarol,

 

I've been catching up on your thread. Be gentle with yourself and if I think of anything that could help the itching, I'll be sure to share.

[AliG]

  J. C Itching can be hormonal. I have found coconut oil -  "invaluable". Fixes almost everything. Worth a try. 

[JanCarol]

Hmm, that's interesting AliG.  Like not enough hormones?

 

Are you talking about topical coconut oil?  Or taking it in?  

 

We use it exclusively in all our food.  

 

I tried "oil pulling" with it, but found that it turned me off the taste of coconut oil, and I don't want to do that. "Oil Pulling" is holding it in your mouth for 5 minutes to "pull" the toxins out of your system, then spitting it out into the trash (don't want to spit it outside, the animals might eat my evil foul stuff).  It's pretty gross, so even though it's great for gums and teeth, and likely digestion and heart as well - I don't do it anymore.

 

Today is better, but it took 4 benadryl through the night last night to get me there. 

 

Acupuncture today.  I told her about it, so hopefully we've soothed it.  I've also made an extra strong barley water to help my hydration and kidneys.  Off to yoga now, even though I dwanna!  

[JanCarol]

Hmmm.  A positive thing:  I see something needs done.  I do it.

 

Not pi$$ and moan about someone else not doing it (hubby), just do it.

 

Even if it interrupts what I'm doing now, to fill the soap bottle before I put away the clothes.......

 

It's present, it's now, and I do it.  At least for now.  

[freespirit]

Hi Jan Carol,

 

Sorry to hear about the itching..it can be brutal. I've had a lot, due to histamine sensitivity. I started using magnesium lotion for sleep, but found it treats the itching for me...much more than a magnesium bath does. Hives that used to last a week are gone overnight. I use ancient minerals one, which is made for sensitive skin.

[JanCarol]

Thanks Free, I use Mag oil, too, when I am in pain - but it can be a little drying, and actually increases the itch.  I don't pay the Ancient Minerals premium, and have enough stock that it will be awhile before I would consider trying.  Vitacost works fine, but I have to wash it off after 20 min.

 

I may have an idea for the  itching:  the carageenan in my coconut milk can cause itching, especially in limbs.  Stay tuned.  I may have had some days where I had more coconut milk than usual.  And I don't know how to find coconut milk without it.  And no.  I'm not up to making my own.

[peggy]

hey Jan - making coconut milk is really, really easy if you have a strong blender like a vitamix.  I buy organic flaked coconut - soak in water and whizz in the vitamix then strain through some cheese cloth.  I use the pulp and put it in cakes.... I find the tinned coconut milk leaves a yucky film in my mouth.  I am not a big fan of coconut milk though.  I have started using cashew milk - and making it the same as the coconut milk.

 

the itching sounds like histamine related to me...

[JanCarol]

Peggy, you have more energy in your little finger than I have in my whole body.  Not only the bother of making the stuff and cleaning up after it, but fresh coconut milk is only good for 3 days in the fridge.  

 

Histamine, indeed.  I am addicted to antihistamines, I think, which would make me sensitive to "rebound effect".  It's better today - I had commercial coconut milk in my coffee today, and got a little itchy on my palms.  But that has passed.  The histamine thing - seems that tiny amounts of things are okay, but I cannot eat whole servings of any of those things.

 

I have a strong blender, a glass jug Cuisinart.  I just think if I had to make my own milk, I'd go back to bed.  

 

And of course, Aldi had a special, so I have a WHOLE CASE of coconut milk with carrageenan now.  Hmmmm.  Like I said:  stay tuned.  I have some Almond/Coconut blend which has no carrageenan in it.  

 

Carageenan by itself, as from Irish moss - is actually healthy - but the chemical process to make it into a gelling or stabilising agent tends to make it reactive to many folks.

 

Today, my hand physio hurt me.  She "dry needled" my hand, and put the needles right on the painful nerves.  I was shouting STOP! and jumping around on the table and crying.  I had to stop her.  She got most of the needles in that she wanted, but that's more painful than chiropractors or dentists.  The needles did settle down, but it took me awhile to stop crying.  I'm hoping that the crying helped release healing endorphins for my hand.   I think I need a valium.     I feel totally drained.  

 

Hubby came home with a voucher for curry, want some curry tonight?  Since I got sick from last night's cheese, I thought that would be good.  But I wouldn't make the phone call, and I'm not going to the curry shop.  Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

[JanCarol]

When I described to hubby what was done with my hand, and how it was like torture - needles stuck in my nerves, he said.

 

"So you really should not consider going back to karate."

 

As much as I love it - as close as I got to the black belt (twice!), as much as it gets me moving like nothing else - he's right.  

 

He said, "So all it would take is a wrong move for you to do it again, and you will have another year of a ruined hand.  You really can't do that."

 

So I guess that means I'm not going back to the rough 'n' tumble school.  I can't let go entirely (though he is the boss, he pays for these classes - and the resulting medical bills), I might go to the "moneymaking punch in the air" (no bags, no heavy sparring) school.  I might try it.  To see.

 

Additionally I found a Tai Chi class in my village!  It is late at night, and would mess with the hubby thing, but it looks like the real deal, and is a quiet, meditative practice, with a real Master, and other Teachers, too.

 

Working out which nights are which - right now Monday Wednesday are yoga.  If I wanted to give one up, it would be Monday.  I could go to the "moneymaking belt mill" school on Monday.  But Tai Chi is on Thursday.  I don't want to only exercise on Weds-Thurs.....

 

So we will see what I can do, and I guess I'll let go and Let God, as whatever is meant to be will be the one that works out.

 

But I have to tell you.  It is hard in my heart to give up karate.  Completely.  A mate of my fathers did taekwondo into his 90's.  WHY CAN'T I?  (stop, before that becomes rumination).

 

Thanks for listening.

[calithebold]

I'm really sorry to hear about karate, I know you loved it so much, even when it hurt you.

[JanCarol]

Well, after a week of gut illness, the itching faded.  Now I have a tiny little man with a feather sword up my left nostril, and he won't leave me alone!  Constant irritation from my left sinus!

 

I did manage 2 karate classes this week, and I think the "belt mill" school will be okay in the interim.  When I get ready for the real thing, there's a Shotokan school at the same location, where I can practice my more finesse style katas - it seems a real "no drama" school, and is unaffiliated, so when they see my level of competence, they will let me keep my 1st Kyu belt!  (I'm sitting at 3rd kyu in the "belt mill" school).

 

Anyhow - Mr Feathersword-up-my-nose has been driving me crazy, I have constant flow from that nostril, and not even pseudoephedrine and benadryl stop it!  I'm taking even MORE benadryl than usual, I've saline sprayed it out several times but it just keeps coming.  Like I need to surgically remove that little man up my nose!)  

 

Being on the benadryl in the daytime (I don't have anything better handy) makes me remember what it felt like as a child, and a teenager, to be on antihistamines and decongestants all the time.  I remember this fuzzy, underwater, angry feeling.  Everything is an interruption because I'm unhappy, and I'm still unhappy that my rhinitis continues unabated.    Then, I read about the most common one I took (unavailable in Australia, I think) Chlorphenamine from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlorphenamine:  

 

 

In addition to being an histamine H1 receptor antagonist, chlorphenamine has been shown to work as a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor or SNRI.^[4] A similar antihistamine, brompheniramine, led to the discovery of the SSRI zimelidine. Limited clinical evidence shows that it is comparable to several antidepressant medications in its ability to inhibit the reuptake of serotonin and also norepinephrine (noradrenaline).^[5]

 

OH EFF!  I was on this - and brompheiramine -  for something like 20 years!  We moved to benadryl when it came out, but - this - coupled with decongestants  = sounds like bipolar to me!  Benadryl feels drugged, but at least it doesn't have this SNRI function that the earlier drugs did.

 

I knew that this probably factored into my "diagnosis" but I had no idea that it was so strong.  I was probably on some of these when they first gave me antidepressants, as - after 20 years of being on them (now it's more like 40) - I alternated between types to "trick" my system from pooping out on them.

 

Is it any wonder I reacted to the SSRI's and later SNRI's so strongly?  (and that doesn't count the years of recreational drug use, which couldn't help).

[Fresh]

Hiya JC ,    Saw you were home so am popping in to say hi.  

Sorry to read about the difficulties you're having, but I just love the unique and entertaining way you express yourself.  Mr Feathersword-up-my-nose indeed!

 

Speaking of Himalayan salt , I got a Himalayan Salt Inhaler inhaler recently on ebay , www.safesalt.com.au

You breathe it in for up to 20 minutes a day , and it's amazing for clearing congestion and nasal dripping. 

 

Keep up the fabulous posting ,  Fresh

 

(and thanks for the coconut milk recipe peggy   )

[AliG]

  Hey J. C. Don't understand half of what you post, but offering support, anyway.  Keep on keeping on.    Hugs,  Ali. 

[Meimeiquest]

I just want to send a hug too!

[btdt]

Hi Jan just catching up I read about the serotonin link to Ads a long time ago a person at pp started the thought and then I just had to look more till I found it. 

 A long time ago I whacked my head and face two impacts in a car accident long story short surgery and home with pain meds and sinus meds.  I guess it is expected to have a sinus issue after such a thing when my mouth was wired the food and oxygen went in thru tubes in the nose. Just to give you an idea some nose things go on a long time.  For years and years after I took antihistamines as I always had something going on with my sinus infection or just insane drainage. 

Finally after a long time the drugs stopped helping at all I could feel slushing in sinus and pain.. tho I had AB a lot.  A ct scan was finally done and it was learned the lining of my sinus had thickened which was treated with an long course of steroids I am told by a nurse friend they don't do this anymore as I suggested it to her when she had this problem 

It may be worth taking a look at if there is some other option to the man with the feather... a different way to evict him.   All of this was before I was ever on an Ad so I too wonder how it may be related tho a good amount of time passed since I had been on the sinus pills and the Ad I know I took both other times in my life and nobody told me i couldn't.  Makes me wonder how many other people are doing the same and what the effect might be.   I think a couple I was on have been pulled from the market now don't recall why one was called ornade or something like that.  

 

I am sorry to hear about your hand we don't need any more issues on top of wd.. that is for sure.  I hope it heals completely and well the older I get the less well I heal or so it seems to me now.  Today I have itching too.. a lot of it I am thinking it may be from taking advil as I have done nothing else new... I have not taken an antihistamine since I was in hard withdrawal and I could maybe get away with it but don't want to push my luck as in the old wd days I felt there was always a rebound effect from it.  So I am too am trying to deal with itch without a drug... tonight before I try to sleep I am going to use calamine lotion... I know not pretty but I sleep alone so it will be ok.

I am not sure if you have tried it but sometimes it has helped me sometime it doesn't too.  One other thing I have tried just out of desperation when I was itching is deep cold for muscle pain... it seemed to help but not as much as the calamine seems if the calamine is going to work at all it is better then the deep cold sadly it just doesn't always work wish I knew why. 

ok that is it for me peace to you Jan. good night

[JanCarol]

Hi, my name is JanCarol and I am addicted to antihistamines....

 

After days of sinus torture - and the angry, mean, aggressive mood caused by daytime antihistamines (and steroids, and saline sprays) - it cleared.

 

Then I had days of gut torture.  I missed one appointment (whoops!), and cancelled another.  

 

And I wonder about the cycle.  First my eye suffers - itching, pain, like a hair or grain of sand on my inner eyelid.  Then, sinus torture.  Then gut torture?  Are they linked?  Was all of this caused by the flooding and a possible mould bloom?  (we had 4 neighbor houses on my street "go under" with the last rains)

 

But I'm out the other side now.  Mood is okay - unless I'm taking daytime anithistamines (daytime antihistamines = hostility!).  I took them last night because my eye was torturing me again.  Always the same side - left side.  At least I know that benadryl is less of an SNRI than my other choices.

 

So - I dropped to 375 mg of lithium yesterday.  Psychiatrist approved.

 

And I wrote a letter to my psychologist - "I am happy to continue with you for 'ongoing support' but only if you are happy to do so."  She was fine with that.  She wants me to add more stuff into my life - like writing.  (when the heck am I supposed to do that?  I manage my time poorly enough now!)

 

The hand is ongoing.  It's much better now than it was, say, in December or even Feb-March.  But it's still an issue.  Still a problem.  I anticipate that I will still be wearing tape on it into October.  I still cannot make a proper fist.  But better is better - this is even slower than psych withdrawal.

 

I'm planning on a ayurvedic sesame oil treatment on my head to calm me in 2 weeks time.  To help calm the lithium beast.  

 

I am running on less stress than ever before in my life - my stress is all about appointments and taking care of things - not about working or being hassled by other people.  My other stress is about caring for people, the people I care about, helping where I can.  But this is nothing compared to those of you who work, commute, and deal with children and grandchildren.  Or who are in hospitals for surgery and stuff.  My stress is low - my point being - I think I can do this.

 

I'm needing to look into lithium orotate more.  Because I would like to convert to lower dose lithium.  I wonder - do I cross taper?  Or wait until I'm completely off the lithium carbonate before starting low dose orotate?  I suppose there is a chance that I won't need the orotate at all.  I'm leaning towards the latter option, because lithium orotate is so low dose, it would be difficult to taper down from.

[AliG]

  Hi Jan, Sorry to hear of your sinus torture. Have you tried "Fess"  saline spray. It's non - medicated, but very effective. You can get "eucalyptus", and it's non - addictive. Just a thought.  Good luck with the "sesame oil". It sounds interesting.    Hugs, Ali.

[JanCarol]

LOL - for someone with sinus for over 45 years, yes.  I use a compressed saline spray that is better than Fess, because it SHOOTS the compressed air and breaks loose sticky stuff.  Sorry, TMI.  It's called Stearamar, and the first time I used it, I thought it was a miracle.

 

I've used neti pots, steam treatments (my favorite was mint, coltsfoot, sage, and ginko), eucalyptus drops on pillow - but when Mr. Feathersword is up my nose, NOTHING stops it except for heavy antihistamines.

 

Like I said:  my name is JanCarol, and I'm addicted to antihistamines!  Hargh!  But thanks!  FYI - the antihistamine I use is not available without prescription in Australia, or it is mixed in a compound with a bunch of stuff I don't want (supposedly to prevent abuse, whatever).  I can get it online, shipped here - or - when I go to the USA, it's cheap as chips over there.  I think I have "only" 125 left.  I think that will last me till my next trip to the USA!  EGADS!

[AliG]

 Sorry, Just trying to help. Won't do that again.

[Meimeiquest]

Well, Dear Jan,

 

My sincere sympathies on the anti-histamines. I just think of how I was coming off the AP, which has a lot of anti-histamine effects. Good luck on the next lithium drop. I am going to hold at 450 for a good long time. Even 12.5 tapering gives me a sense of zero ability to cope with ANY stress for awhile, it just comes over me. 5 days from a drop we were discussing skewers for grilling for company that night and suddenly I could not cope with any decision or problem related to the skewers. And the *itchiness rivals the whole AP thing. But not depressed...

 

I suspect I am moving into undermethylation territory with the lithium dropping. I have been eating a lot of spinach salads with chick peas lately. And getting sicker and sicker, anxiety, poor energy. Friday I was eating spinach when I had this feeling of "This spinach is not good for me,". Really a mess yesterday, but I ate mostly meat and feeling much better today. Or it could be a million other things, especially that I stayed in bed till 6:30 a.m. yesterday. I am also a mess if I go off my in bed/out of bed schedule (wish I could say sleep schedule,lol). My hypothalamus Is really having to be babied along. But I'm somewhat amazed we've made it this far.

 

Take your SA thread to the psychologist....it's as good as a blog!

 

Have.a great week!

[AliG]

 Sorry, I misunderstood what I read. I have anxiety, at the moment., which is making me a bit hyped up.  I hope this week is better for you.

[JanCarol]

Hey MeiMei - I seem to recall that spinach is a high histamine food, or it's on FODMAPS or something.  Kale is supposed to be better.  At least your body told you "no more spinach"?  I just remember when making green smoothies that kale is preferred to spinach.  Which is a shame, I *love* spinach.

 

Downunder we have another alternative which is super yummy, called "Silverbeet."  Have you ever eaten beet greens?  Well downunder, they bred a type of beet for the GREENS, not the root (as far as I can tell) maybe by crossing with some chinese cabbages or something.  it, too, is yummy, but I don't know if you can get it up-over.  

 

Have you looked into Histamine Diet?  I've been avoiding nutrition this week, focusing more on Trauma (Beyond Meds).  And eating antihistamines, as my sinuses and itchy eye are still an issue.  I need to updose my daily antihistamines so that I don't interdose so much.

 

Unlike you MeiMei - I was on antihistamines long before I saw Seroquel.  The Seroquel likely helped some - but I have had allergies this year like never before.  

 

And Ali - no worries.  I didn't take it personally.  You were just trying to help.  I'm also on Avamys (a steroid spray) to try and calm the sinuses.  Geez, I hate this stuff - but not as much as I hate lithium!

 

and lithium - I cannot feel a difference moodwise yet.  That's okay.  I haven't been a good mod, I have been soaking up stuff like a sponge and not giving back very much.

[AliG]

  I hope you're ok, JanC.   You don't check in much.   Sending good thoughts.

[JanCarol]

How I've been feeling about nutrition:

https://youtu.be/Oht9AEq1798

[JanCarol]

Thanks Ali - I'm okay, just very slow and not very productive. 

 

Unlike most people here - I suspect this will not "get better."  I think this is my native state, my way of managing stress.  By doing less.  Much less.  

 

It seems I have 3-4 appointments a week, and appointment days take most of my "functional" day.  My therapist asked me:  "most people have 142 hours a week for work, errands, chores, socializing, etc."  When I did the maths, I found I have only about 42 hours a week.  If 16 of those are travel and appointments, I have even less.

 

My totem animal is currently koala, who does things slowly, and measured, and only at certain times of the day.  Generally unruffable, but when I do get riled I can be intractable. 

 

I truly don't know how people do it - travel and run businesses and work jobs and raise kids and grandkids.  Heck, I hardly give enough attention to the cat!  (she tells me so, regularly)

 

So I had something I wanted to say today, but forgot.  I guess I was moving too slowly to catch the thought!

 

I swear, I've been reading about these psych drugs for years now.  I was knowledgeable about them before I read "Anatomy of an Epidemic," but still - I swear - I see new ones that I've never heard of - weekly.  Whether it's a neuroleptic popular in Italy (but not used in US) or something FDA approved that Europe and Australia won't use - there are too many of these daMthings!

 

I met someone new in karate last night - forgot her AD for 2 days.  Was a mess.  She says she's not ready to come off - I told her these were side effects.  She must've thought I was nuts.

Maybe I am, but I'm not a danger to myself or others - just to pharmocopia!

 

I go to see my ortho doc next week.  Next month I must go to my statin-pushing doc.  I'm already nervous about it - but I have a line I think she cannot deny:  that the statins were responsible for unrelenting depression, causing my psych doc to up my meds to cope with it.  And that my mood is FINE without AD's to medicate the damage the statins were causing.

 

Week 1 of 375 mg lithium (oh yes, must change sig!) - no noticeable effects.

[JanCarol]

I'm speechless.

 

I wrecked the car - again.  This time really wrecked, the whole front bumper came off - and the headlight assembly was thrown into the middle of the road.

 

I'm sure the car did what it was supposed to, popped apart.  

 

Everyone unhurt, just humiliated.

 

It was my fault, it was bad judgement.  Hubby is taking his hits internally (so I don't see them, but I know they are there) and I feel like yhit.  The old CBT people would have a hey-day with me.

 

I had a friend say, "Why are you so sure it is your fault?  In 99% of all 2 car accidents, there is partial fault on each one."  I know.  I've been in 17 or more accidents over 35 years.  In 98% of them I am at fault.  I know.  I should not have pulled out - what was I thinking, that it would be okay, even if I couldn't see?

 

Beating self up right now.  Just stooooopid.  And I really cannot afford to wreck a car every time I do a taper.  NOT manic.  Definitely not that.  But there was an element of "in a bubble" or "overconfident" or just plain stupid bad judgement.

 

Please, no coddle words, I don't deserve them.  Just say okay and move on, thanks.  Don't look at this disaster if you can avoid it.  "No gaper delays please" as we would say in Chicago....